"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

Lil banged her head against the passenger window with each repeating of that phrase.

"Why is Aunt Lil booping her head against the window? Does she want a booboo?"

"I don't know Petey," Benny said. "Maybe its fun?" Petey tried to bang his head against the window but seeing as he was strapped in a car seat wasn't having much luck. Brian lightly snapped his head back against his seat but grimaced. "Nope, not fun."

Gina gently reached over and stopped Benny. "No no, sweetie… we don't bang our heads.-"

"Oh my god." Boink! "Oh my god!" Boink!

"-er, usually." She glanced over at Petey who was wiggling in his carseat. "Phil, where is the baby bag? The kids are getting fussy."

Langdon though answered, reaching under his seat. "I grabbed it. Figured I would keep an eye on it when you guys were loading up."

"Thank you," Gina said in relief, pulling out a bottle for Petey and some animal crackers for Benny.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

"Yes Lil," Phil said from the driver's seat of their rented van, adjusting the AC a bit, "we heard you the first 100 times."

"She's. Still. Talking." Lil bopped her head against the window one more time before slouching in her seat. Looking out the window they could all see Howard waiting at his car, smiling politely but clearly just as tired as the rest of them were as Betty continued to yammer on with the kids former principal. Normally the kids would have just driven back to their childhood home and begun unloading everything they'd gotten for the party but Betty wanted them all to go out for lunch meaning they were stuck waiting for her to finish talking.

They'd been stuck in the car for an hour waiting for the two older women to wrap things up.

"I hope your father packed the ice cream good or we're going to have a tub of mush," Gina complained. "Of course she'll find a way to blame me for it."

"She won't do that," Phil said helpfully.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah… she only does that when it's the kids and she blames BOTH of us."

Gina rolled her eyes at that but conceded the point… not that it made her any more happy. "Is it too late to begin day drinking?"

"Nope!" Petey happily proclaimed, holding up his bottle. "Want some?"

Gina just leaned back in her seat, giving Benny his headphones so he could listen to his toddler entertainment CD; it had the wonderful benefit of keeping little ears from hearing… and repeating… things they shouldn't. "I'm tired of this, Phil. I'm tired of your mother constantly hounding me and belittling me because I don't raise the boys like she would. And she can't even make up her mind! Half the time we're too protective and then she tells us we are neglecting the kids!"

"I know," Phil said with a sigh. "I don't think she ever really forgave us for both keeping our jobs after Benny was born. Thought one of us should have stayed at home."

"At least you take Benny with you to the daycare," Lil groused. "And it's right in the building. And before that you kept hiding him in the office."

"You helped," Gina said with a smile, remembering how more than once Lil had quickly hid Benny when the big bosses had come in; tucking him under her desk, hiding his carrier in a closet, once lying that she was the one that had farted. "Mom used to just dump us off at the Pickles. I can count on one hand the number of times she volunteered to babysit all of us and I'd still have fingers to flip off Mrs. Hanover because THEY ARE STILL TALKING!"

"Lil, calm yourself," Langdon said gently. "It's not good for the baby to have all that rage pumping through her."

Lil grimaced at that, placing her hands on her tummy, hopeful that her grumbling hadn't upset her child.

"Zzzzzzzz," Clair murmured, shifting in her sleep, her dreams filled with rock music and no stupid mommies who didn't get her waffles.

"We have to say something, Phil," Gina said. "I'm just… I shouldn't dread visiting your parents. We're supposed to be family and I don't want you to feel like you're choosing between them or me."

"You aren't making me do that," Phil said with a groan. "It's mom. She's the one that keeps needling and poking things. You are nothing but nice yet…" He just pressed his forehead to the steering wheel. "It isn't fair to you. And the kids. They can sense things, you know? Chuck says babies are super smart, so they much pick up on what we are feeling."

"Forget that… with the way Petey was screaming in there I think he'll be traumatized for life!" She looked over and let out a sad sigh when she saw that Petey had finished his bottle and was now looking at his new toy, a few tears rolling down his cheek. "Oh sweetie, why so sad?"

"Not sad!" Petey said with a sniff. "I gots a duckie I can HUG!" He hiccupped and hugged the dog toy tight to his chest. "This is the bestestest day of my life!"

"Why are they still talking?" Lil complained. "Are… are we dead? Did we die? Do they not know we exist?"

"Considering all we survived growing up I'm pretty sure we're immortal," Phil pointed out, thinking of all the things him and Lil had ended up eating that were certainly not food during their childhood.

"I'm sure it wasn't THAT bad," Langdon stated.

"Getting lost in the woods and nearly being eaten by a wolf," Phil retorted.

"I thought Lil was making that up."

"The robot Reptar battle in the middle of Paris," Lil added.

"That was you two?!"

"The shipwreck," Phil stated.

"And then getting stranded in the submarine at the bottom of the ocean," Lil supplied.

"And those are just the vacations and Dil being born. There was the time we got lost at the Christmas village, and caused the stampede at the zoo."

"Did we really cause that?" Lil asked. "I can't remember if dad ever confirmed it."

"Well, we know that we did almost unleash those tigers at Las Vegas. We have that on tape-"

Langdon stared in horror at the two. "…why would either of you EVER listen to Betty?!"

"Thank you!" Gina declared, flailing her arms in Langdon's direction. "I knew there was a reason you were my favorite! The woman has no right to judge me until Petey… I don't know… summons a dinosaur and rides it around!"

Gina didn't notice Petey's eyes light up at that.

The lawyer though was focused too much on his girlfriend and her brother. "Seriously, how did they keep custody of you two? Child services should have removed you both after the wolf almost ate you!"

Phil laughed. "Come on Langdon, everyone knows that Child Services is just a myth."

"…I can't tell if you are kidding or not."

Before any of them could answer there was a knock on the window and Lil let out a sigh of relief as she saw it was her mother. "Oh, thank goodness," she muttered, rolling down the window. "Hey mom. So, do you still want to stop for take out first or should we go unpack first? I know the ice cream is probably getting kind of melted-"

"Yeah, it probably is," Betty said, shooting a glare at Phil. "Too hot in a car for ice cream… let alone babies." She tugged on the door, only to find it locked. "Open up, Phil."

"Uh… why?"

"To get my grandbabies some fresh air! The poor pups must be roasting!" She tugged on the door handle, Phil though making no move to unlock the door.

"Mom, I have the AC running. Its cooler in here than it is out there."

"Pish posh. Perfectly fine out here. Not like in there… you know how dangerous ACs are? Filters get filled with germs and get circulated through the air… you're going to get those little guys sick!"

Everyone in the car, even Petey, stared at her (though for Petey it was because he feared his grandma might take his duckie away).

"Well?" Betty asked, utterly clueless.

"Mom… I thought germs built character," Lil finally said.

Betty scoffed. "Is this about the grocery store? That is different, you just making up excuses for your new fangled cash wastes. This is facts! You've been in there an hour… why would you even think that was a good idea?"

"Maybe because it was better than standing around waiting for you to get finished with Mrs. Hanover. You know, like dad?" She pointed over at her father, who was panting and fanning himself.

"Oh he's fine. Now get on out of there… I don't want anyone getting sick while I finish with Mrs. Hanover-"

"You're… not done?"

"Shoot! Of course not!" Betty said with a laugh. "We have-"

Lil rolled up the window.

"Lilian?" her mother said, startled.

"Drive Philip."

"Uh…"

"Who do you fear more?"

Phil stepped on the gas, racing off, leaving Betty staring blankly at where they had been before she grit her teeth. "Those little… ungrateful… Howie!" Howard looked up at his wife.

"All done?"

"Not even close! Get on the phone and get those kids back! Being rude to their mama-"

Howard though stared at his wife in shock. "Not… not done? We're supposed to go to lunch with the kids-"

"Well, they decided to drive off! I tell ya, those kids are-Howie?" She once more found herself stunned, this time when Howard hopped into the car and shut the door. "What are you doing?"

"Going to apologize to our kids for wasting their vacation sitting in a parking lot!" Howard declared.

"But I'm not done-"

"Then jog home!" Howard said in frustration before he too sped off.

~MC~MC~MC~

"I don't know why… but I find this utterly terrifying," Tommy said, staring at Thorg. He didn't know why the toy gorilla was giving him the willies but it totally was. "Where did you find this guy, anyway?"

Stu let out a laugh. "Darndest thing… the owner bought this house in Delaware that was said to be haunted. Always hearing noises and such. They decide to investigate though and find this guy down in the cellar running." He scratched his chin. "They claim the cellar hadn't been opened since colonial times but I doubt this guy was palling around with George Washington."

"Must have been aliens," Dil said with a shrug.

"Why is that always your answer?" Angelica asked.

"It isn't always my answer," Dil pointed out. "Sometimes it is the government."

"Which you claim is controlled by aliens," Tommy pointed out.

"Boys! Lunch!" Didi called down

"Ahem!"

"Oh, sorry Angelica. Boys and Stpeh and Angelica, lunch!"

"Thank you Aunt Didi!" Angelica called out before heading towards the stairs. "Come on, let's get moving , Pickles."

"Uh… which one of us are you referring to?" Tommy asked.

"All of you."

"Shouldn't you use the plural then?" He paused mid step. "Wait, what is the plural for 'Pickles'""

"I think it's Pickli," Stu said with a chuckle as the group continued once more to move up the stairs. They swung around to the living room to gather up the kids… only to stop and stare at the sight before them.

"You see, I undy-stand wanting to jump and run and go go go!" Melinda said sagely. She was sitting at a long table, finalizing the peace treaty that had taken all of minutes to write. "But we haf-tas have order! Follow the rules! Like no cookies in the bath tub. Yes, their yummy but soap makes them taste icky!" She stuck out her tongue. "We can still do funs stuff but we have to agree to works together, okey dokey?"

The lead buffalo nodded his head and put his hoof on the treaty.

Outside the mayor's office where Melinda was finalizing things Brian rubbed the coat of one of the buffalo. "We have plenty of room! Come on in guys!" The buffalo nodded and ambled into the fort, allowing Brian to grab onto the fur of another one and gently pull it in. "Check for fleas!"

"No fleas, just Louies!" Louie called out, popping up on the back of the buffalo. "This one's set! Get the next one!" He stood up, a bit unsteady, before squatting and leaping up-

-and landing in Tommy's arms, who caught his son before he could leap onto the pillow.

"Whoa there buddy!" Tommy said with a laugh, Louie blinking as the fort and the desert disappeared, revealing the living room once more. All the cushions and pillows had been pulled from the furniture, many of them dragged into the playpen which was wide open. But Brian was busy inside sorting the pillows while Melinda was surrounded by couch cushions, scribbling on a piece of paper before tossing it at the cushion and giggling so hard she fell backwards.

"You sure made a mess, little man!" Dil said, bending down and picking Brian up, Angelica stepping over the playpen's fence and retrieving Melinda, adjusting her bow. "Sorry about this, dad. We'll clean it up-"

"Don't you dare!" Stu said with a laugh, reaching over and wiggling his fingers against Brian's tummy. The boy squealed in delight while Tommy tossed Louie in the air, catching him before bringing him to rest against his shoulder. "You kids made far worse messes than this and we never missed lunch because of them. We'll clean up afterwards." He motioned for everyone to follow. "Besides, we'll…ah, I'll tell you later."

Tommy and the rest of the younger adults all shared a look before shrugging and heading into the kitchen.

"I'm so glad you found the extension, Stu," Didi said as they entered, the table already loaded with a full pot of beef and noodles, rolls, and a salad. "I was worried it was packed away."

"Nope. Good thing too, as otherwise we'd all be cramped trying to sit together."

"Here, let me get that for you," Dil told Kira, pulling out her chair.

"Oh, thank you Dylan."

"You know," he said with a smile, "with how much time we all spent together… I always felt that all of us were one big family already."

"That is so very sweet," Kira said, not noticing Dil wink at Tommy… who glowered at his brother and made a slight jabbing motion for him to sit down and shut up. "Now, everyone dig in."

Plates were quickly filled up while the babies were given small bowls of plain noodles to munch on. Stu, Didi, Chas, and Kira watched in surprise and with a little pride at how well their kids worked together to make sure the littlest ones were cared for. Conversations easily flowed and without even saying a word one parent would turn and keep an eye on their child while the other was given a chance to eat in peace. No one lingered too long, forcing the other to miss out on lunch. And the babies were watched over without it feeling like anyone was hovering. It honestly made the grandparents a bit misty eyed to see the proof that their children had truly grown up.

"Hey Aunt Didi?" Angelica finally said, nodding towards the kitchen. "What happened to all the photos of the kids?" Didi and Stu's fridge had become so covered with photos of Louie, Brian, and even some of Melinda that had become impossible to actually tell what color the appliance was. But now it was completely bare, without even a magnet on it.

"Oh… that," Didi said, look at the fridge and smiling sadly. She glanced over at Stu, who seemed far more delighted than his wife. Kira too, now that the group actually took in her soft smile. Which was a far different look than the slumped shoulders… of… Chas…

Tommy, Chuck, Angelica, and Kimi's eyes went while Dil grinned at Steph.

"So, that's actually what we wanted to talk to you guys about," Stu said, looking at the other grandparents. "Do you guys mind-?"

"Oh, go right ahead Stu," Chas said, sniffing. "I might start crying if I say the words."

Chuck grabbed Angelica's hand, who wasn't finding this funny anymore.

"Me too," Didi said, worrying her lip. "It just… oh…"

Tommy and Kimi both swallowed in unison.

"It is a big change, yes," Kira said with a smile. "But once it is all settled I think everyone will be happy about it."

Dil was practically bouncing in his seat.

Stu took a breath. "You see, Kira and I-"

"I WILL NOT CALL YOU MOMMY!" Tommy yelled, leaping from his chair and pointing a finger at Kira, who leaned back in shock.

"I… what?"

"It's okay," Dil said with a smile. "I will call you mommy. I'm happy to be the favorite and be the only one left in the will."

Chas looked at the kids. "I don't-"

"How could you do this to Aunt Didi, Uncle Stu?" Angelica complained. "It was 'till death do us part' not 'till I decide to hook up with my friend's wife'!"

"What are you-" Stu began only for Chuck to push away from the table in disgust.

"I can't believe you think we'll go along with this! Well, I'm not going to the wedding."

"Wedding?" Didi asked, brow furrowed.

"How could you do this to dad?" Kimi asked her mother.

"I don't know why we are yelling but I'll join in!" Louie cried out. "YAAAAA!"

"I think we're supposed to yell sec-ets!" Brian informed him. "I'm the one that ate the Prince's cupeycake!"

"I did a poopy on that pretty rug!"

"I hate socks!"

Brian and Louie looked at Melinda. "We just met you and already knew that," Brian told her.

"oh… I have no secrets!"

"Kids!" Stu called out. "Kids!" He finally got everyone to settle down. "What are you talking about?!"

"You and Kira, duh," Dil said with a wave of his hand. "Come on, it's clear as day that you two are in love and dumping Mr. Finster and mom."

"It is?" Kira said, befuddled.

"I don't see it," Chas said.

"Because there is nothing to see!" Stu complained. "I love your mother-"

"Current mother or new mother?" Tommy said suspiciously.

Stu groaned. "You're only mother!"

"Uncle Stu, Aunt Didi is sitting right there! You can't just ignore-"

Stu glared at his niece. "I'm not dating Kira!"

"And I am not dating Stu."

"I wouldn't date her… I don't find her attractive."

Kira nodded. "Yes, that's… wiat, what?" She looked over at Stu. "What does that mean?"

"Yeah!" Chas complained. "What's wrong with my wife?"

"Nothing!" Stu exclaimed. "I just love Didi! She's the only woman I'm attracted to."

"Aw… Stu!" Didi said, beaming.

Tommy slowly sat down. "Okay… so you two aren't divorcing mom and Mr. Finster and getting married and making me and Kimi hillbilly husband and wife?"

"…no!" Stu exclaimed. "Nothing like that!"

"Oh… thank god."

Kira smiled. "We've all just decided to sell the houses and retire to Florida."

The kids all stared at her.

"…say what now?"

~Two Weeks Earlier…~

"Hey Bill, you sure it's a smart idea not to buy our tracking tickets from our normal rep?"

Bill, head of Yucaipa Airport's supply and receiving department, glowered at Frank, who was head the luggage handlers team. "It's going to save us a ton of money."

"I know but… the guy we bought them from lived in a van."

"It was a nice van."

"Down by the river. My old motivational speaker always warned me that nothing good happens when you live in a van down by the river." He paused. "Then he fell through a table."

Bill just waved him off. "It's fine! So what if they're old and the glue is going bad… they'll hold! Mr-" The name he said sounded like a cross between a badger getting castrated without knock out gas and a Dutch man gargling, "-said they could withstand anything except a baby tugging on them!"

"That is… oddly specific."

~Present…~

"Mine!" Gwen said happily, reaching her chubby hands out and grabbing the label of the box that came around towards her. She and her sister Jen had just woken up from their nap to find they were in a strange new place, sitting in their stroller as mommy and daddy watched all sorts of boxes and bags and other colorful things go rolling past them on a weird black side-walkie thing. They'd seen that box go by five times and Gwen had finally managed to snag the sticker and was now happily waving it in her hands.

Jen, shooting her twin a dark look, reached out and grabbed another stick from a different box. "Mine," she taunted.

This did not please the other infant AT ALL. While the stickers looked exactly the same… she didn't like it that Jen had something she didn't! Reaching out she grabbed Jen's sticker, giggling as she took it with ease. "mine!" she laughed… only to realize she'd accidently stuck her original sticker on Jen's shirt. Her twin yanked that off and waved it in the air. Gwen though merely waved HER sticker about… before both promptly got bored and slapped the stickers on two boxes and switched to trying to kick at the luggage as it rolled by.

"Got everything?" Ash asked as Susie did a final count of their luggage.

"Just one more… ah, there it is!" she grinned as she grabbed the suitcase that had the girls' clothing in it, adding it to the pile on the cart Ash had grabbed. "Now we have everything."

"Better call your friends then and let them know you are early."

"Yeah, maybe one of them can give us a ride…" While everything else had been taken care of their rental car wouldn't be ready for another few days. She pulled out her cellphone and tried Angelica first. It took about three rings but then it finally clicked. "Hey Ang, it's me! We were able to come in early and… what? Huh?" She pressed a finger to her other ear. "I can't hear you over the baby crying… what do you mean that's Kimi?" Susie shook her head. "I just… Dil? HI Dil… No, I don't care if Tommy manscapes! Put Angelica back on the phone!" She paused, listening. "okay, I'll call Lil. Bye!"

"That was… odd," Ash said. "Even for her."

"Not in this town," Susie said with a laugh. "I swear it does weird things to people. Remind me to tell you about the time Angelica kidnapped Dil and he destroyed our preschool."

"...okay."

Susie dialed up Lil. "hey, it's me! I managed to get out here early. Do you-" She pulled back the phone, Ash able to hear Lil exclaim, "-'ll come and grab you! Perfect excuse to get away from meddling moms!" before the dial tone kicked in.

"Weird town," Ash muttered.

"Very weird. But I try not to add to the weirdness."

"Hehehe!" Jen giggled, slapping another label on the wrong box, Gwen happily joining her.