TALLULAH TULLE: Helllllllloooooo, Panem!
PRIAM STEED: It's time for the-
TOGETHER: Fifty-Seventh Laurels!
PRIAM: Elissa starts us off strong, in a stunning black velvet dress studded with gorgeous diamonds, falling like dispersing rain to disappear at her feet. She shows off One's talent for accessorizing with her sparkling gemstone bracelets.
TOGETHER: 10/10
TALLULAH: And Grande is a diamond. An actual diamond. Bless his heart, he's trying to wave. That's hard when you're a diamond.
PRIAM: It's not wrong, though. 4/10
TALLULAH: Not pretty, 3/10
TALLULAH: Oh, this one's nice! A pair of Spartan warriors. Donnatella likes the bling a little more, though, since hers is gold.
PRIAM: Gold is very soft. That would be a terrible material for armor.
TALLULAH: Ahhh! Atticus is roaring at the crowd. This one's too scary!
PRIAM: A pair of nines for this one.
TALLULAH: Yeah, that's about right.
TALLULAH: What is that?
PRIAM: There's ten kinds of people in the world. Those who know binary, and those that don't.
TALLULAH: That's just two kinds!
PRIAM: Binary is just ones and zeroes. Ten!
TALLULAH: Zero!
PRIAM: Caio was born in the wrong District. He should be a One.
TALLULAH: I wish he was a Capitolite. I'd watch him in the movies.
PRIAM: What a performer. He could be wearing a potato sack and the crowd would still love him.
TALLULAH: Flash them guns. 10 for him and 8 for Seychelle, just because she's less energetic.
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PRIAM: Really Meenah should be the turbine.
TALLULAH: Whoever heard of a sexy wind turbine?
PRIAM: Whoever heard of a sexy battery?
TALLULAH: Apparently Meenah. Girl's selling it. 8/10 best sexy battery I've seen
PRIAM: 3/10 for Enzo both having a terrible costume and sulking.
PRIAM: She's gonna blow!
TALLULAH: That's not nice!
PRIAM: I think we all see the elephant in the room.
TALLULAH: That's not nice!
PRIAM: Oh, come on. She's an overinflated tire, he's a flat one. Ha ha get it?
TALLULAH: 0/10 for being NOT NICE!
PRIAM: We're gonna need some bigger numbers.
TALLULAH: I can't tell which is which.
PRIAM: Usually tree suits don't cover the entire person. Kind of counterintuitive.
TALLULAH: They can't even move! Poor things. What was Flora thinking?
PRIAM: Oh, there one goes! Timberrrrr!
TALLULAH: 5/10 now, since there's only one there.
TALLULAH: Oh, she looks so sad.
PRIAM: Can't imagine why.
TALLULAH: I think it's kind of cute. Knits and holey jeans are in.
PRIAM: Better than Linden. Since when is Eight the jock District?
TALLULAH: Not even a very well-done jock.
PRIAM: Wow, he won't get any sponsors with that face.
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PRIAM: Oh, they're wheat.
TALLULAH: Visenya is better wheat though. Look how she's waving at all the little kids! Adorable!
PRIAM: And look at Porter, who just realized she's doing that and is now waving at all the old people. And making kissy faces at them.
TALLULAH: Some people are into that. Not me, but some people.
PRIAM: Since I'm not gluten intolerant, 6/10 very nice wheat.
TALLULAH: That's not-
PRIAM: That's not very nice? That's what you were gonna say, right?
TALLULAH: She's a cow! And he's a butcher!
PRIAM: Have a sense of humor. Look, she does! She's letting him "butcher" her.
TALLULAH: Nooooooooo!
PRIAM: Little PSA, everyone. Wisteria isn't present because she had prior commitments.
TALLULAH: What? She's having a baby!
PRIAM: She made that commitment nine months ago.
TALLULAH: At least Apollo is having fun.
PRIAM: You have to have fun when you're wearing an eggplant suit. Made of eggplants.
TALLULAH: How lovely! Twelves never get pretty outfits.
PRIAM: Sundew sure doesn't think so.
TALLULAH: You wouldn't get it, but it can be very annoying to have hair in your face.
PRIAM: Don't gotta scowl about it though.
TALLULAH: Poor Argent, stuck as silver.
PRIAM: Probably a bad omen or something. At least he's taking it like a champ.
TALLULAH: All right, everyone! That's all the outfits. We'll be right back, and while we're out, make sure to cast your votes!
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TALLULAH: Welcome back! Now it's time for our favorite part of the night: handing out our much-coveted Laurels.
PRIAM: Like always, some old and some new. First up: Best District Tie-in. And our winner is: Atticus Scipio!
TALLULAH: My turn! I'm honored to present the Worst District Tie-in Laurel. Our illustrious champion is, to no one's surprise, Linden Anderson!
TALLULAH: Two in a row for me, so I don't get all the bad ones. This year's Most Creative Laurel goes to… Apollo Courfeyrac!
PRIAM: Guess you know what's next. I'm proud to present the laurel for Least Creative Costume to Paloma Bennett. Moo.
TALLULAH: I'm very excited about this new category. The Best Performance Laurel goes to… we have a double winner! Caio Sagres and Meenah Turbine!
PRIAM: Up next, the Most Beautiful Laurel. I don't even have to open the envelope, we all know it's Elissa de Angelo. Good job, Hollan.
PRIAM: One more for me. Perhaps the most entertaining category, next is the Worst in Show Laurel. There were some weighty contenders this year, but the one that triumphed in the end was… Enzo Ranger.
TALLULAH: Last and not least- actually, last and most- the Best in Show Laurel! Ooh, I'm so excited! Oh, I can't wait any longer! The Best in Show Laurel winner is… Meenah Turbine!
PRIAM: What?
TALLULAH: Panem has spoken.
PRIAM: Panem needs an intervention.
TALLULAH: That's all we have for now, but don't worry, there's plenty more!
PRIAM: You just said…
TALLULAH: Tune in tomorrow for our 24-hour coverage of Tribute fashion and Capitol gossip. Stay snoopy, Panem!
LOL Meenah is just THAT good a salesman I guess.
BLOOPER I accidentally put Paloma instead of Meenah the first time. What was I thinking they're not even alike!
