Sophia's Chronicles
Chapter 2: The Family
"You won't be able to exist in this form for long," God warned me. "I'll have to find some way to stabilise you so that you don't end up destroying everything you touch."
"I'm- I'm sorry," I muttered, holding his hand as I stood by His side. It made me feel safe.
"It's not your fault, love," He reassured me. Love? He loved me? "It'll just take a moment and you'll be good to go."
We arrived on a large meadow. Everything appeared so indistinguishably bright that it took a while for my eyes to adjust. There, four beings appeared before us. Seeing me, their eyes widened and they reached for weapons. Scared, I huddled close to my Uncle. He stopped them and told them to be at ease.
"Worry not, my sons," He began. "She won't hurt you." He stepped aside, revealing me to them though I'd much preferred the sanctuary of his proximity. "Her name is Sophia, and she's one of us. I expect you will all treat her as such." I studied their gazes. Four of them with four very distinct appearances and personalities. I saw the one with red eyes looking at me weirdly, which I am told is his surprised face. I mean, they were all certainly surprised by my presence but he… well, you know how Lucifer is. He's had that look plastered on his face ever since. I should have known that I was doomed in that moment. That those scarlet irises that burned into my very being by just looking would be the end of me. That I was powerless to resist. "Lucifer," God beckoned him to come forward.
God held both our hands in a kind of union. I say 'kind of' because it is only half true – I remain unaware, till this day, whether it was God's intention or not, but he had united us in a way indescribable by words. He gave us a bond immune to time and distance – whatever resulted from that bond was His to claim. In that moment, a part of Lucifer's essence was combined with mine, to make me a being of both Light and Darkness who could now exist in both worlds. I felt a surge of warmth emanating from my core and my senses had transformed. I saw things differently now. The beauty of this world… if it was obvious before, it was a hundredfold clearer now. I knew colour and texture like I'd never before. The meadow we were in was a warm green and the sky a tranquil blue. There was the occasional tree and puffy white clouds. Nice. Then my eyes came to rest upon Lucifer – he had deep amber curls, white wings and a smile that resonated deep within me. Hmm… Very nice, I thought, but immediately suppressed it in embarrassment, though his eye contact was almost hypnotising.
God cleared His throat, as if having heard my thoughts. He turned to me and placed a hand on my head, with His thumb resting on my forehead. He blessed me with knowledge of the worlds He created and their various properties. As I looked up at Him, I saw possibilities, hope and a satisfaction with what He had given me. As I looked around, I noticed my wings and they appeared metallic, as did the wings of the other beings around me. Noticing my observation of the other beings, God said, "These are my first creations, Sophia – archangels. Michael, Lucifer, Raphael and Gabriel," delineating them. "Michael, show her around and get her acquainted with the place," God ordered.
"What will her purpose be, Father?" Michael inquired.
God looked at me in consideration. "You will be the Keeper of Knowledge." From that day onwards, the title stuck with me. Even when Heaven had decided that it didn't want me anymore, I was true to my duty. The duty given to me by God. No matter what happened to shake my faith in God, this purpose He'd given me in the beginning remained my anchor, keeping me grounded even when I didn't know who I was supposed to be. Whether the purpose was given to me based on my personality or whether my personality had been shaped by my purpose was an interesting question indeed. It was a question that I'd asked myself several times, at the cost of close personal relationships at some points. You'll see.
That day I'd met them – my family. They were like my brothers. There was Michael, the oldest, who always carried himself with an air of maturity. It was the years of being the one to look out for the rest of us that etched responsibility into his very being. At times, I wondered if this was too great a burden on him. After all, it's only the ones who take care of us who suffer just as much to see us fall. He had eyes of silver and wings of metal, which were as sharp as they were soft, much like the archangel himself. Michael was next-in-command to God Himself, overlooking the happenings in Heaven when Uncle was busy elsewhere. He was practically God's voice to the angels, always making plans and running things the way God would have wanted it, as the angels were constantly told. He was always respectful towards me and made me feel at home. He showed me around Heaven, always taking the time to explain things to me that I found novel or strange. I appreciated his patience.
There was Lucifer, second-oldest, who had his elder brother's power and standing but wasn't nearly as well-composed. I supposed that's what I liked about him. He was always straightforward and easy to understand. He was also… persistent. No one could ever say no to him. He always got what he wanted, being God's favourite and all (though we weren't supposed to say that out loud). That sly thing… he knew he was guilty but always laughed it off as if it were preposterous.
Lastly, there was Raphael and Gabriel, who had starkly different personalities. Whereas Raphael was always cynical of me, Gabriel was the complete opposite. He always believed in me. For some reason, of which I myself was unaware, Raphael always had it in for me. It was like he saw something in me that no one else did – something so vile that he never gave me a chance. I tried on so many occasions to find out what or why he was this way, but to no avail. Gabriel always reassured me, saying he'd come around, but that never happened. Raphael was Heaven's healer, being the one in-charge of the infirmary. One would think that dealing with injury makes one sympathetic to trauma but Raphael was always one to defy expectations.
Gabriel, on the other hand, was the youngest of us and the most hopeful. Mischievous little thing he was. With a penchant for being the most adorable toddler I'd ever seen, there was nothing he could do to upset me. We were always tight-knit – the closest of friends. The four archangels were my family. They were my home. Living my new life – my real life – here had erased the distress of my early life till it wasn't more than a faded memory at best. Yet, some of those scars persisted, lulling me from time to time and begging me to return to Mother. But I resisted. Never again.
Several billion years later,
It was a normal day in Paradise. And normal days were spectacular. Everything was always so perfect. The warm rays of sunshine made everything glow. The glimmer of the glass windows in Heaven's capital, Imperium, made everything brighter. The water in the fountain at the centre of Imperium felt icy to the touch, a crisp contrast to the soothing warmth all around me. That day, I felt particularly creative. Moreover, Imperium was basically a city full of office buildings where different angels worked all day with no rest. As if to match the workers' blandness of personality, the buildings themselves were plain. Don't get me wrong – the architecture was fine and beautiful, but this was only by God's design. The angels themselves were content with just residing and working in these buildings without expressing themselves. It was something that I found strange. Isn't all this beauty inspiring? And the best way to use that inspiration was to make something of it – to decorate this place further with expressions of creativity. The angels seemed to abhor the thought. Change something that was already created perfect by God Himself? I sighed. To me, creativity itself was an act of worship. To love God so much that one could express that love in art and nature.
I sauntered over to a mural I had been working on in the town square. It had taken me a million years just to get an outline and a background done. I picked up a brush and continued working on it. With every stroke, my mind grew more and more focused into my work, ignoring the bustle of angels moving between their buildings, doing whatever. Their shadows shifted on the wall in a flurry as I remained in the same spot for hours. Before I knew it, the sun was setting and darkness fell over the land. This was supposed to be a time for rest, which angels took to mean 'work but with less moving around'. God's blind workers. The town square was empty, but I hadn't even noticed until a single shadow appeared on the wall. I had barely noticed it when I felt arms tightly wrapping around my waist. I almost let out a squeal.
"Lucifer!" I hurriedly pushed his arms away from me, though my body heat had just rose significantly. I already felt my cheeks burning a bright red. "What are you doing here?"
He shot me a wide grin, revealing his dimples. "How is my favourite person in the whole universe doing today?" he asked in a sing-song voice.
"I don't know, Lucifer," I replied, my breaths returning to their normal pace. "How are you doing today?"
"Pfft…" he stuttered, clutching his chest in faux heartbreak. "I'm- I'm fine. And you?"
"I'm good," I smiled, setting my brush down. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, now that you ask…" He stepped closer to me. "My arms are feeling cold. Colder than usual, I mean." In a fell swoop, his arms encircled my shoulders, fastening me to his chest. I felt a spike of ecstasy shoot through my very being at his touch and my body melded against his in a natural harmony. "Could use your help in warming up."
"Lucifer…" I purred in his ear. The very scent of him was hypnotising. But a voice in the back of my head told me to resist. I lightly pushed against his chest. "Let go," I whispered. "Someone will see us."
"Let them see," he defiantly hissed, pushing me up against the wall. His soft lips grazed against my forehead, planting a gentle kiss. "I don't care."
Slave to his touch, I felt him kiss me again on the bridge of my nose and my cheek, setting fire to my skin where he left remnants of his love. Then his lips were so close to mine, aching to seal the gap between them. Yet, my fingers found their way to his neck, cupping his cheeks as I pushed him away. "Not here. Not now," I resisted. He paused and I wondered if I'd hurt him. With a reluctant inhale, his arms loosened around me and we stood apart as separate beings again. I looked around us, careful to make sure that no one was spying on us from the windows of the buildings. My gaze returned to Lucifer, ready to make some kind of apology, but his was fixated on the painting.
"You know, you might complete this mural faster if you used a bigger brush," he suddenly said, showing no indication of our short-lived intimacy. He picked up the brush from my table. "I mean, look at it," he held up the bristle to eye-level, puzzled by its size. "For a mural this size, you're painting it a millimetre at a time."
"It's important to get the details right," I argued. "With every brushstroke, you get a new variation of colour. It makes the result interesting."
"What are you painting anyway? I've been watching for millions of years and I'm still not getting any indication of what the picture is supposed to be," he inquired, scarlet eyes roving over the mural as he stood back to get a clearer look. "Granted, I haven't always been paying attention to the art, if you know what I mean…" There was that smile again.
I pulled back my shoulders, suddenly self-conscious. The way he looked at me sometimes made me feel tingly all over, which I had to admit I enjoyed despite my better instincts. My words were caught in my chest. Something about the quietness of the night always made the air between us electric. "It's the Heavenly Host, arranged in concentric circles around God." I pointed to the outermost circle. "The circles are arranged by rank. Here is the cherubim, here is the ophanim, the seraphim…" my finger came to rest on the innermost circle. "Here's us, the archangels."
"You're drawing all of them?!" he exclaimed. "But there's… so many of them."
"Which is why detail is important," I added. I silently enjoyed the sight of him scanning all the circles, his face taken by awe as he identified the ranks and angels. He looked so happy, so pure. There was nothing in me but love for him, which at this point was so ingrained my being that it was impossible to live without.
"A giant family portrait, with Father in the middle," he nodded, still captivated by the artwork. "Quite fitting."
"Yes, and as you can see, it needs plenty more work to be finished," I said, gesturing towards the wall. "So if you'll excuse me…"
I turned to pick up the brush and carry on with my work. "Right," Lucifer sounded dejected. "Which is why you forgot about our date. Again."
I spun to face him. "What?" I flustered. He did a head-tilt to gesture towards the moon. It was full and plump, its light marble white against the dark sky. We always snuck away on full moon nights, out of everyone's sight just to spend some time alone with each other. "Oh."
"Yeah," Lucifer gave me an expectant expression.
"I'm so sorry," I apologised. How could I have forgotten? This must have been the third time. Was I getting slow? "I've just been so caught up with work…"
"We've all been caught up with work," he lamented, shoulders drooping. "But you are working at night. Aren't you the one who always says it's a time to put work aside?"
I sighed, chest heavy. "Okay, just give me a moment. I'll clean up and then we'll go," I promised. His face lit up at the suggestion.
He whistled when the coast was clear and beckoned me to approach with two fingers. I snuck out from my cover behind the outermost building in Imperium and into the thick foliage of the adjacent forest. The reason for all this stealth was simple – though work was shifted to a minimum at night, there were still angels patrolling various places in Heaven and the universe. Once united in the thick cover of trees, our hands found each other naturally and we sauntered deeper into the forest.
"Where are you taking me this time?" I asked, not afraid to huddle closer to him as we walked out of anyone's sights.
"Where I wanted to take you the last time, which incidentally is also where I wanted to take you the time before that," he jibed coolly.
"Hey, I apologised," I rushed to defend. "I feel bad about it."
"I know, I know," he relented. "But lately, I can't help but feel that you've been avoiding me."
"That's not true," I frowned. "Sure, I missed a couple dates but that's just because I… I forgot."
"Since when do you forget?" he probed, a little more accusation in his voice this time. "You're the smartest person I know."
"I don't know what to say to that…"
"Is something the matter?" he pressed. "Is there something I should know?"
"No," I denied. He led me down a path I'd never been down before, which always meant some spectacular sight awaited me. Somehow, Lucifer was always capable of finding new places in Heaven which constantly blew my mind. And typically, we'd enjoy the travel to those places as well, which didn't seem to be the case now.
"Sophie, come on," he urged. We reached the edge of a cliff and from here, we spread our wings and glided on the wind. "You know you can talk to me, right?"
"Of course," I said. "But there's nothing to talk about."
"You always say that," he lamented. We came upon a cave. It was one we'd seen before, but it was like a maze, with many tunnels leading into the darkness. Familiar with all these uncanny routes, Lucifer knew exactly which way to go, not stopping for a moment to think. With absolutely no starlight or moonlight, the path was only lit by the glow of our eyes – Lucifer's red and my green. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes…" I sighed. "Stop worrying," I told him for the umpteenth time.
"It's kind of my job to worry," he argued. "And my keen senses are tingling at the sight of you."
"Are those keen senses between your legs?" I teased.
He huffed. "Please, Sophia, I am not so consumed by lust that I can't think," he said, smirking.
"If these walls could talk, they would vehemently object," I shot back. "You know this to be true." That shut him up momentarily.
"Well, it's- it's your fault for being so- so damn unbelievably beautiful." A pathetic attempt at a defence. "Are you sure Father didn't make you?"
"Pretty sure," I replied. "All He did was give me your light, so really, it's your fault."
"Guilty," he chuckled. "We're almost there, come on." He lugged me by the hand, jogging excitedly to this place he was so keen on showing me. "Wait, close your eyes." We abruptly stopped just when light started to fill the tunnel. He put a palm over my eyes as his other hand guided me in the right direction. The sweet smell of damp grass reached me and soon, so did the corresponding sensation under my feet. "Ready?"
His palm shifted away and my eyelids flung open. I gasped. We stood on some kind of shore. The water before us was so still that it was almost impossible to tell that it was water. It was unmoving and in the night, it was a dark mirror that reflected the glow of the moon and stars. And the moon… we were someplace where the moon was closer to us, making it bigger than it normally appeared in Imperium. It was all so breath-taking – yet another example of the majestic nature of God's creation. When I saw things like this, I couldn't help but feel my devotion to Him deepen. It made me want to create things – to make myself a part of this world by producing beautiful things that emulated what He made. I felt an uneasy feeling stir in the pit of my chest at the thought.
As if snapping me out of my daze, Lucifer led me to a lone island in the middle of this body of water which had just enough land for one tree and some space to lie down next to it. "You're doing it again," he broke the silence.
"Doing what?" My eyebrows crinkled.
"Thinking things that upset you and not telling me," he accused rather monotonously, palms behind his head as he stared straight up. I remained seated with my knees pulled close to my chest and glanced down at him while he was making this philosophical observation. "You're making that face."
"What face? You know what, forget it," I gave up. "I'm tired of playing this game with you. You trying to read too much into what I feel and think and me trying to convince you that it's not true."
"Well I wouldn't keep bringing it up if you just- you just spoke your mind," he asserted, shrugging his shoulders. I exhaled, not knowing what to say. This was getting redundant. Sometimes I didn't know what he wanted from me. I shifted my attention to the radiant allure of the moon, which I wanted to spend hours just admiring. Like pinpricks, I felt his cold fingers tracing up my back through the opening of my dress, which left most of my back exposed save the laces that held it together. Again, I felt heat surge through my veins and my vexation dissipated. "Is it me? Am I upsetting you?"
"Lucifer, you could never upset me," I snapped rather impatiently, which probably contradicted my message.
"Then why do you push me away?" I jerked my head to look at him. He was serious. "First, you miss our dates. Next, you won't even let me…" he sighed, stroking his chin. "When was the last time we… you know…"
"That's not deliberate," I began. "You know why I stopped you just now. We can't have people finding out about us."
"Why not?" he challenged, sitting up. His palm rested against my waist, pulling me closer to his side. "I'm tired of hiding, Sophie. All this lying and manipulating and sneaking away."
"What other choice do we have?" I can't believe I had to spell it out for him again. "What we are doing… is not… accepted. God told me that I had to be-"
"Pure, I know," he recalled. "Whatever that means."
"It was the one thing He asked of me, and I couldn't…" I paused before I shamed myself into tears. "I have sinned. And now you're asking me to flaunt it like some kind of achievement?"
"Our love is not sin," he opposed. "I mean, we don't even know what He meant by that. As far as commandments go, that's as vague as it gets. Stay 'pure'? Come on, give me a break. That could refer to a number of things! Besides," his lips turned up on one side, as they always did when he had a playful thought. "We've been doing this for literally eons, with no one suspecting anything. I think that counts as an achievement."
I rolled my eyes. "Of course you'd say that," I shook my head though I couldn't help but be amused. "What if it's some kind of test? And I've failed miserably."
"I'd say you've failed with flying colours," he teased, his hand now gently rubbing my back. "I'd write a glowing testimony of your uh- your abilities."
"Lucifer!"
"Kidding, obviously," he said. "Look, it's been ages since the Old Man told you that. If what we were doing upset Him, He'd say something. Or give us a sign. From my experience, long silences usually mean that He doesn't care, so you don't have anything to worry about." I didn't respond. What he said made a lot of sense, but it just didn't sit right with me. No matter what I did, I always felt like one wrong move would jeopardise it all – all the happiness I'd found in my new home. I needed things to be right. I needed to be right. "Sophia…" he said expectantly again.
"Alright, I get it. I'm making the face," I relented. I told him what was on my mind.
"See, was that so hard?" he said. He paused, using the silence to ruminate on what I'd just said. "So that's why you've been overcompensating?"
"Pfft… you're… overcompensating…" I weakly shot back. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You've been putting in all those extra hours so that you can stop feeling guilty about us," he elaborated. "What, you think that you have to be extra productive in case your loyalty was called into question?"
"That's definitely not what's going on-" I stopped myself to think about it. Really think about it. "Okay, maybe a little."
I leaned my head on his shoulder, disappointed in myself. Even after all this time, it was difficult to feel like I belonged. "You've nothing to prove, my love," Lucifer reassured me, his lips following in tandem on my cheek. "You're the most beautiful archangel to ever exist. Well, second most beautiful." I cracked a smile, unable to stop myself. Then, my smile evolved into a chuckle that went on longer than I expected. "What, that's funny to you?"
I shook my head, refusing to admit my culpability. To be honest, I hadn't laughed like that in a while. It was just refreshing. "Sorry if I offended the princess," I mocked an apology, eliciting a displeased huff from him.
"That was a lacklustre apology," he teased, a devious grin lighting up his face. "I demand you fix this immediately."
"And how might I do that?" I turned towards him and found that our faces were suddenly in close proximity to each other. Not a word was said between us. Our eyes met and there was no humour in them anymore. I could feel my skin aching for his contact, emanating heat from my core. I felt the air between us grow warmer and warmer, until his cold lips found mine. His kisses incessantly assaulted my lips, hungrily pushing me backwards as I struggled to remain seated. Surrendering to his hold, I let him pull himself over me as we both lay on the ground. My arms encircled his shoulders as his found refuge in the curve of my waist.
"You have a lot to make up for," he said in between kisses. I moaned audibly as he deepened the reach of his lips, even invading my mouth with his tongue.
"Is it too late to beg for mercy?" I exhaled deeply, feeling myself melt in his embrace.
"Oh you'll beg alright," he taunted, now attacking my neck with sharp kisses and bites. I couldn't help but gasp and pull him closer to me. His hands traversed my back, pulling me deeper into his loving embrace. "But there will be no mercy."
We lay against each other, finished and satisfied. He held his torso against my back, cradling my waist. It gave us a splendid view of the moon. His head rested against mine and I closed my eyes, savouring our intimacy. In the darkness of the night, our bodies bathed in the moonlight.
"You know what I really want?" his voice sounded like a relieved sigh, if that was possible, like all was right in the world. "To proclaim my love for you to everyone."
"You can proclaim it to all the birds and the cats and the dogs," I teased.
His hand gently struck my rear and a short, uncontrollable moan escaped my lips. "I'm being serious," he said.
"As am I," I rebutted. "We've had this conversation before. You can't just do something because it sounds good right now. Later, when all of Heaven condemns our relationship, you may not think it so wise."
"Don't you want that to change?" he probed. "Imagine a future where we can be honest with my brothers."
"I want to," I admitted. I thought of Gabe and how happy he'd be for us. I knew he would.
"And Father would know. And the angels," he continued.
"Now you're pushing your luck," I said, turning over to lie on him. My head rested on his shoulder, our bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.
"A life without secrets. I'm talking about our future," he seemed genuinely excited to say it.
I lifted my head up to relish his joy. "And…" my fingers twirled around a spot on his chest. "What else do you see in our future?"
"I see…" he held up my fingers and observed them curiously. "A grand ceremony. They'll hold one for us, you know."
"Hold what?"
"A wedding," he uttered. It sounded too good to be true. But his words were like honey in my ears. I let him go on. "Everyone will be there and they'll cheer for us. We will be bound in sacred union and nothing will come between us. And then…" he bit his lower lip.
"And then what?" I pressed, keen on the answer.
"We'll make little archangels," he said, grinning gleefully. I glared at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Creation is God's domain," I sighed. "Not ours."
"Then why does He have you help Him with earth? Clearly He's accepting of your abilities," Lucifer reasoned.
"It's a big leap. How would it happen anyway?" I wondered. My palm aimed at a patch of ground as I tried to conjure up something.
"I imagine it would be the same as anything else you've created," he speculated, eyes fixed on me. I, on the other hand, was busy sprouting a seedling on the patch of ground next to us. "You plant a seed…" The seedling spawned from the ground as natural as anything else, blooming a small, pink flower. "… and it grows. Only the seed will be our love."
I rested my head back on his shoulder, returning to my favoured pillow as I watched the firmly planted seedling. "It all sounds nice… but will it ever happen?"
"One day, we must tell them all. I don't know when, but we will. They will accept us and we will live our lives true to our hearts," Lucifer vowed.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
