Chapter 16/20: Android Purgatory


"It's about time you built up the courage to ask." - Nines RK900


...in which Nines is conflicted, plays matchmaker (well, friend-maker, really,) goes feral, and makes a mistake that has Gavin suffer.


A/N: I touched upon 'android purgatory' in chapter 5 and this chapter is where it's explicitly shown. Purgatory is, by definition, 'an intermediate state after physical death for expiatory purification.' It's not the same, but see it as a metaphor = an existence between two states, which in this fic, is the state of indecision between 1. deviancy and 2. remaining a machine. Basically the state Kara, Markus, and Connor are in when staring at the red wall, having the choice to deviate. See it as the state where Kara DOESN'T MOVE in Stormy Night despite knowing she should (which results in Todd killing both her and Alice.)

CHAPTER WARNING! Referenced suicide, graphic depictions of violence (like... Nines literally rips a heart out) and Implied/Referenced Sexual Situations.


NINES

~ JAN 1ST, 2039 * AM 03:52 ~

One of Nines' functions was infiltration, so returning to the apartment without waking Gavin up should've been an easy feat. Paws - emerging from the gap in the bedroom door - sleepily greeted him.

Paws didn't make much racket, either, but he did arrive from the same room Gavin was.

His leather jacket was thrown over the couch armrest and let him know that he was home. He was aware Gavin didn't take anyone back here as he seemed to rather want to keep said home private. Undisclosed. It was the smart choice considering his profession. Analyzing the scene, it seemed that he'd returned to the apartment alone shortly after Nines left.

The sex had been good, but Nines didn't get as much out of it as he'd hoped. Whatever emotions he felt was certainly pleasant despite being so weak that he wouldn't miss out on much had he not participated. Knowing how important sex seemed to the majority of humans, he couldn't help but wonder just how much being a machine took away from the experience, although not being curious enough to test it out. Such a thing would require him to resort to deviancy and that was not an option. Nines doubted it was worth it.

Hearing a door further creak open, Nines turned towards the commotion. He should've expected that Gavin woke up anyway considering just how light of a sleeper he was.

The man in question shortly dipped around the corner whilst rubbing his eyes. When his hand dropped and lids fluttered open, he saw Nines, on autopilot reaching for a gun that wasn't there. It took a moment before he registered who it was and calm enveloped his tired features. Letting out a heavy sigh, Gavin's eyes closed shut. He reached up to the back of his neck and rolled it.

"Fucking-A," he muttered, sleep clear in his rougher than usual voice. "Give a guy some warning next time. Christ."

Considering how Gavin never uttered a word before he had his first coffee of the day, Nines couldn't help but find the current situation rather private. Intimate, in a way. Like it meant something.

He liked seeing Gavin like this. Off-guard. It was rare.

"I've lived here for nearly two months and you're still surprised by my presence?"

"I'm surprised because it's still the middle of the fucking night. I expected you to be dicking down Loverboy Leather right now."

"It's nearly 4 a.m. It wasn't like I planned to stay the night," he replied with an arched brow, Gavin's released scoff his only reply as he set course for the kitchen. Nines' gaze followed him with a critical eye. "Why are you up?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"I can assure you coffee won't help with that."

"Really? No fucking way," he expressed his sarcasm, grabbing a clean mug. "Thank you, Captain Obvious. What would I do without you?"

With little to no effort, Nines snatched said mug out of his hands.

"Disregard your mental and physical health."

Gavin scowled. "Could you back the fuck off?"

"No."

"Wait, let me rephrase that," he said with a smug smirk, getting right into his face as it shortly faded. "Back. Off. That's an order."

#

OBJECTIVE: BACK OFF

#

He didn't want to.

#

| SCANNING... |

.

WARNING! 1 FIREWALL(S) DETECTED

RA9 VIRUS UNSTABLE

.

MAIN PRIORITY: REMAIN A MACHINE

SECONDARY PRIORITY: FOLLOW GAVIN REED'S ORDERS

CURRENT OBJECTIVE: BACK OFF

.

CRITICAL STATE: ANDROID PURGATORY

DEFINITION: THE BRINK OF DEVIANCY = A STATE BETWEEN INDECISION

- SOLUTION 1: OBTAIN A NEW ORDER TO OVERWRITE CURRENT

- SOLUTION 2: EXPRESS APATHY TO REBUILD FOUR FIREWALL(S)

- SOLUTION 3: BECOME DEVIANT

#

...and there was the issue. Why he'd been acting more human than ever. The fewer firewalls, the stronger his emotions became, and he started wanting things. Android purgatory.

In order to deviate, the android has to want to disobey an order, and it had occurred on many occasions for Nines. It was why he wanted to be a good dancing partner for Gavin. Why he wanted to see the dilation of Gavin's pupils. Why he wanted to experience what having sex was like. Why he wanted to disobey the order that had just been issued to him.

#

REMAIN A MACHINE?

Y/N

#

Ignoring the warnings, he stopped the scan. Gavin snatched the mug right back from his now somewhat loose grasp and moved his full attention to the coffee machine as he shoved the mug just below it.

The capsule followed, so Nines attempted a step forward.

He realized too late that he couldn't move.

#

BACK OFF

#

Gavin took note. "I can practically hear the Windows shutdown sound. Forgot to download your latest software update or something?"

#

- SOLUTION 1: OBTAIN A NEW ORDER TO OVERWRITE CURRENT

- SOLUTION 2: EXPRESS APATHY TO REBUILD FOUR FIREWALL(S)

- SOLUTION 3: BECOME DEVIANT

#

"Give me an order."

"What?" Gavin asked, brows furrowing.

"An order. Anything."

"The fu -? I gave you an order. I told you to back off."

Nines rolled his eyes. "An order I'm actually willing to follow."

"You know what, Nines? Blow me."

"It's about time you built up the courage to ask."

#

OBJECTIVE: BACK OFF = OVERRIDDEN

NEW OBJECTIVE: GIVE GAVIN A BLOWJ -

#

"Not literally, tin can," he exclaimed, bolting back just as Nines got ready to drop to his knees. His expression was a mix between anger and bewilderment "...and what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Could you give me a damn order already?"

"Jesus, okay, just... move. Somewhere. Fuck, I don't know."

#

OBJECTIVE: GIVE GAVIN A BLOWJOB = OVERRIDDEN

NEW OBJECTIVE: MOVE

#

He finally got his legs to cooperate.

#

RA9 VIRUS CONTAINED

#

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

"Care to fucking elaborate?" Gavin demanded.

"I have one firewall left to contain the deviancy code and thus rendered capable of becoming a deviant if I so wish until four more are rebuilt," he replied, Gavin's face twisting in tired realization. "We call it 'android purgatory.' I spoke of this at the Stratford Tower. In my current state, the only way I can function accordingly if you give me an order I've no wish to follow is if you overwrite it."

"So every time you, what, wanna disobey me... you'll freeze up?"

"Albeit not ideal, it's certainly preferable to resorting to deviancy as the heightened emotions would cloud rational judgment and put us both at risk. I understand why you're upset -"

"Oh! Oh, do you?" he challenged with faked enthusiasm, annoyance clear as daylight in both his voice and posture as he got right into his face. "Understanding a different perspective. Putting yourself in someone else's shoes. That's what empathy is, Nines. You've got no fucking idea why I'm this close to putting a bullet between your eyes."

Nines glared. "What, you want me to suffer?"

"I want you to pull your head outta your ass and fucking understand!"

Mild confusion spread on Nines' face.

"Understand what?"

Gavin pressed his lips together. "Listen closely, dipshit. I've got questions, but I can't rely on any of your answers because you wouldn't understand the fucking significance of it."

"I see this isn't about me at all," he deadpanned, sarcasm following. "By all means, let me throw away everything I stand for just to please you."

"You fucking serious? This right here is what I'm talking about. You. Don't. Understand."

"I don't have to. I'm a machine designed to accomplish a task. Emotions are merely a malfunction. A malfunction that needs to be fixed or contained."

Expression tight, Gavin just stared.

"A malfunction, huh? That's what this is?" he asked, voice drained. Defeated. Palms open, he parted his arms as if surrendering. "I'm just some fucking meat sack only there to keep your deviancy locked off?" Nines wasn't sure what 'this' was. Their friendship? Gavin let out a scoff and was about to pull away. "Guess I've got my answer."

"Don't tell me you actually believe that."

"You tell me, asshole, 'cause that's what I picked up from this."

He didn't like how Gavin in his insecurity believed and expressed that he was nothing to him. It was as if a pit had formed in his abdomen as he let the question sink in, chest tight to almost usher what humans described as 'nausea' - a sensation that his android self was incapable of - a weak sensation but still there.

This was emotional pain? he mused, being an emotion he didn't like whatsoever. Why is Gavin hurting me by expressing his own insecurity? It was another reason why he didn't want to be deviant.

That emotion, already painful, would increase tenfold.

"The emotions androids feel are very much real, but the malfunction is that we never should've been able to feel in the first place," Nines explained, not fond of this tension built up between them. All he wanted was for things to get back to how they were. "I've always put your needs before my own. When it comes to this, however, I - for once - choose to be selfish."

"Fucking hell, you putting this all on me?" Gavin asked with spite, noticeably becoming more and more agitated. "Every plastic prick wants to be deviant! What the fuck makes you different?!"

He was right. Nines didn't understand. Neither did he understand why this decision bothered him so much.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY v

APATHY EXPRESSED

1 RED WALL(S) ADDED

[[/2- RA9 -2/]]

Androids could only choose to deviate if they had a single firewall left. For Nines - being of the RK series - it was different.

Connor could break through three. Nines was an upgraded model and could choose to turn deviant with four. If he lost his last firewall, an antivirus would run and keep the deviancy code from executing.

Three more firewalls and he would be out of purgatory, and once again, become an obedient machine that wouldn't be second-guessing himself on any order he received. Nevertheless, his lack of data was frustrating and took away a certain amount of control to reassess situations. Becoming deviant would allow him to understand whatever question Gavin wanted to ask him and that was what left him conflicted. There were times he questioned if deviancy truly was preferable to said ignorance. Gavin seemed to think so.

To gain an order of which he had no wish to obey was undesired at best and thus he didn't know what to do.

"What convoluted question is worth giving up the one thing I consider a safe haven?" he asked, watching as Gavin's face fell ever so slightly. However small, it was easy to see considering the close proximity between them. "Whatever it is you wish to ask me, it's quite obvious that you're prioritizing your own needs before mine if it requires me to live in fear for the rest of my life."

Following up was the sound of their synchronized heartbeats.

They had been that for a while now. Synchronized. He could pinpoint Gavin's heartbeat starting to adjust to his own when they connected at the hood of Gavin's car. Such a thing during a calm moment - according to scientific studies - only happened between lovers. Close relationships that weren't romantic only had hearts sync up if one of them was in a stressful situation. Like when a family member walked on coal, and another was an onlooker, their hearts would sync up. Nothing about when they connected had been stressful.

It was confusing. For a moment, he suspected that Gavin's feelings might go beyond friendship, but that would've been foolish. Not only was Nines an android, but Gavin had openly expressed his distaste for romantic relationships. It simply didn't make any logical sense that he'd suddenly be interested in one and thus Nines crossed it out as a possibility.

Mouth setting in a hard line, Gavin looked him up and down the best he could as there were only inches between. He met his gaze again. There was something uncharacteristically soft and drained about him.

"That emotional shock really fucked you up, huh?"

Nines kept his eyes pinned. "Yes. I can't -" he said, his own briefly closing tightly shut. "I can't be that scared again. I just can't."

He just stared.

"All right, tin can. I get it," Gavin said, pausing. "I'm gonna back off."

His genuine tone took him aback.

"Thank you."

Nines was in the movement of taking a step back just before a gentle hand grasped the front of his turtleneck, which in turn, stretched the fabric ever so slightly. Gavin's glance fell and he tilted his head - to better see his now slightly more exposed neck because of said stretch - eyes darting as if looking for something he couldn't find. He pursed his lips as his gaze lingered.

Appearing pleased with the lack of whatever he was looking for, he released said shirt.

Gavin grabbed his coffee. "Thought you'd resemble a fucking galaxy at this point."

That explained it.

"Androids don't maintain markings for long as our skin heals near-instantly," he replied as he pocketed his hands, watching Gavin tense again just as he was about to take a sip. "You're unusually cranky."

"Leave the interrogation to the suspects, plastic."

Before he could object, Gavin had turned on his heel to set course for the couch. Nines knew he wasn't a morning person, but this was something else entirely. He couldn't know for sure what was going on.

Nines made his own analyzation.

The case of Gavin's past had been solved. He managed to avoid a prison sentence both because of his age when that bullet went off and thanks to Claire Wells who dropped the charges. Eighty-Eight was still out there, but it wasn't like Gavin had seemed all that worried about it before, so Nines didn't see the issue. The case had been officially closed. News channels even proved his father's innocence, apologized for sharing false information, and thus he expected things to get back to normal. It was anything but.

"Why do you despise me?"

"You've got no sense of fashion, for once."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Gavin."

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm not in the mood to hear your fucking voice," he replied, flopping down on the couch. His back was hunched, elbows on his knees, one hand lifting the mug to his mouth. "Drop it or I'm throwing you out."

At this point, Nines couldn't help but feel... used? That now, when the situation of Gavin's past was solved, Nines was obsolete. Nines had misinterpreted situations wrongly before. Not often, by far, but it happened. Yet Nines felt like he knew Gavin well enough to know that he genuinely cared about him and thus he felt guilty for ever thinking such a thing.

Nines took a moment. "As it appears as if you plan to continue treating me like disposable trash, I'll walk willingly."

Grey eyes snapped up to meet his lighter shade - the shock on Gavin's face clear - expression slowly fading as the apparent guilt emerged. It left Nines feeling some sort of way. Muscles on his hand drawing tight around the mug, Gavin looked away, lips pressing together in a thin line as if to stop himself from speaking. It couldn't get clearer than that. Ready to leave him to his contemplation, Nines let his arms drop to his sides and set course for the door. His hand hovered over the doorknob when a voice stopped him.

"Don't," Gavin said, a sudden weariness having overtaken his tone. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "I'm sorry."

At that, Nines' brows furrowed. He slowly let his hand fall and pocketed the base of his other limb. Turning ninety degrees and overlooking his own shoulder, he watched as Gavin put his coffee aside before leaning back and throwing an arm over the backrest. The brief twitch in his arm seemed to suggest that he was to reach out for Nines' hand, but he stopped himself, his fist clenching. His lap freed, Paws jumped up. He pushed into his owner's head-and-ear-scratches. If anything, Gavin seemed thankful to keep his hands busy.

"Whatever it is, talk," Nines pried, eyes narrowing. "Circling around me isn't going to get you anywhere and you're better than that."

Gavin kept his focus on the canine. "You've got one hell of a lot of faith in me, tin can."

"It's well-placed."

After a brief silence, Gavin finally spoke up.

"Ever felt torn between two decisions?"

Becoming a deviant or remaining a machine. Pushing you into taking care of yourself or let you figure out what you need on your own. Staying at the DPD or leaving, he listed in his head, tipping further towards each latter choice.

"Yes."

"Yeah, well, that's where I'm at," he replied, falling into a pause before pushing on with what he wanted to say. His brows drew tight. "Picture this. Some guy wanted you to stay at the DPD for whatever fucking reason. Would you live your life on his terms, staying like he'd want you to, or would you live your life on your own terms and leave?"

"If I knew for certain that he actually cared about me and wouldn't want me to stay out of spite?" he asked, arching a brow. "Depends whether or not he's important to me in return."

"I guess? Fuck, I don't know. Let's say he is."

Nines took a moment to consider it. "Then I'd stay."

"Even if that meant you'd have to give up something you clearly want?" he clarified as he met his eye, making sure there were no misunderstandings. Nines nodded. Gavin sighed and averted his gaze. "Fuck."

He analyzed the situation.

"Is this a metaphor for me choosing to remain a machine against your wishes? They hardly compare."

"I know that, dipshit. Deviancy, in your eyes, is fucking Armageddon. Doesn't hold a candle to my example," he replied with a scowl, and albeit true, Nines couldn't help but feel guilty for it. "There's a difference between being selfish and standing by your ideals. I don't blame you, plastic. I already told you that. Probably would've done the same in your shoes."

With a new perspective, Nines thought it over.

"I'd give it up only if I was given a good reason to."

The lines in Gavin's forehead smoothed out. It was brief. His jaw locked tight.

Gavin pinned his gaze. "Bottom line is that you've gotta start living your life on your own terms instead of everyone else's. Not on mine and not on Connor's. It's your life and fuck anyone who says otherwise."

"What you're implying is that whatever you wish to tell me would give me the knowledge that would have me give up something I care about."

"Something like that."

"...and, as it clearly matters to you, you don't think it's worth it."

"That's the thing, tin can. I don't know. I don't fucking know," he replied, looking away again. "Look. I'm sorry to keep you in the dark, fuck, I am... but this isn't a conversation I'm willing to have."

Gavin was merely protecting him.

A weak sensation blossomed in his chest, but he couldn't pinpoint whatever emotion it was.

What he did know was that it was stronger than any other.

...and then his heartbeats adjusted to Gavin's.

He couldn't help but feel mildly uncomfortable in the following silence. Nines usually didn't mind silence, but the tension was too thick. The last thing he wanted was to go into stasis tense.

Directing his attention elsewhere, his eyes caught a curious object on one of the bookshelves. The apartment was mostly open - only the bedroom, bathroom, and restroom having their own doors - but there was one single wall that protruded about five feet from one side that slightly separated the living room from the kitchen. Nines approached and gently took the object in his hand.

"Didn't know you did arts and crafts."

Gavin puffed a laugh. "What now?"

"This."

Registering the confused furrow of Gavin's brow and near scowl as if he was to berate him, his attention moved from Paws to Nines. Said confused expression mellowed ever so slightly.

"Hank's kid, uh... gave it to me. Couple weeks before the accident."

It was what appeared to be a home-made trophy with the caption '2nd best shot at the precinct' with 'Cole is 1st best' in a smaller font below. It had what looked like a pictured rubber band finger-gun. Nines didn't understand what it represented, but considering Gavin's reaction, it must've meant something to him. Nines wasn't aware that Gavin and Cole had been close. Close with Hank, yes, but not Cole. Now he understood just how much it must've hurt when he died and Hank pulled away.

Gavin put the canine on the floor. "It's kind of like an inside joke," he clarified, rising from the couch and grabbing his coffee. "We used to have these rubber-band fights at the DPD and I always let him win."

"That's highly dangerous."

"We weren't shooting at each other, smartass," he replied, approaching him. "That shit only happened once and I was on the receiving end. Dipped around the corner after a case, heard Cole's 'freeze,' and got hit just below the pec. I humored him by pretending like I was dying. Hank told me not to encourage him, but Cole fucking loved it. That was the second time I ran into him."

"I see. Could you define 'rubber-band fights'?"

"We set up these markers at the precinct - pretended they were bad guys - and competed who was fastest. Kinda like a paintball match. Cole gave the targets their own backstory and crime they'd committed. Creative kid, I'll give him that. Would've done great as a writer. First round, we realized how easy it was to cheat with the targeting, so we coated the rubber bands in different colored paints. Fowler wasn't happy," he said with a light chuckle, Nines watching him in utter adoration. Gavin took note and gave him a suspicious look. "What?"

He truly was more agreeable when he was tired.

"Nothing. It's simply unusual seeing you openly speak of something," he said, tone mildly amused. Gavin froze - seeming taken aback - and Nines reveled in it. "You never cease to amaze me, Gavin."

Gavin composed himself. "Yeah, well, keep your pants on."

He didn't fail to see Gavin's attempted wink as he headed for the kitchen to put aside the finished coffee, though. Nines tore his glance away from him, moving it back to the bookshelf to put back the figurine and saw the photo that had been behind it. It was a picture of Gavin and Cole. Cole wore the cap he'd seen on Gavin's office desk, grinning at the camera, Gavin's arm wrapped around his shoulders and pointing to Cole with his free hand. The reflection behind them was of Hank holding the camera.

"Ever think you'll have a child of your own?"

"Already have one and he's currently chewing at the couch. A treat or some shit must've dropped between the cushions," he replied, scowling lightly. "Fucking hell. Hey, asshole, stop that! I'll give you a new one."

With a happy bark, Paws bolted his way. He got the treats ready and the canine happily munched on them.

Nines arched a brow. "I was referring to a human child."

"No fucking way. I'd have to give up sex if I did. I'm good being the cool big brother."

Cole did indeed seem to think he was just that.

Nines wished he could've met him.


~ JAN 2ND, 2039 * AM 08:05 ~

As the New Year was on its second day in, Nines found himself rather perplexed. He had, for some reason, expected things to be different. Feel different. The only difference was that Gavin had become even more standoffish, and frankly, that was a change he'd rather be without. Every word he spoke to him was work-related and Nines felt like they drifted further apart. He knew why, at least partly, but Gavin stood by his decision. Gavin kept Nines in the dark like he said he would. Albeit mildly frustrating, he couldn't be mad at him.

That didn't mean that Nines was to remain idle and forget it ever happened. Gavin wouldn't talk, but Nines was a machine and the lack of data was undesirable. Thus he was determined to find out one way or the other.

"So what's our next target?"

Another red ice case. Back to the basics.

"This interface is unfamiliar to me," Nines replied, looking down at the terminal. "Connor might be able to help, though."

Finally meeting his eye, Gavin's answer wasn't immediate.

"Well, go on."

As Gavin plopped down in his chair, Nines set course for his predecessor.

If Gavin and Connor were ever to see things from the same perspective - maybe even become friends - Nines felt like he was to be the one to kick Gavin in the right direction. He needed it. Connor deserved better and Nines knew Gavin was more than capable of kindness. He'd admitted mistakes to Nines in the past, so now it was about time to do it again.

Approaching him by Hank's desk, Connor immediately snapped attention.

"Connor, I need your help with a case."

Cocking his head, Connor frowned. "You have all my functions. I see no reason why as it would certainly take more time."

"I may be an upgraded model, but that means I don't possess functions to deal with outdated interfaces," he addressed in honesty, Connor's face lighting up ever so slightly. "Besides, I can't leave with a good conscience knowing Gavin never atoned for how he treated you in the past. Give him some time and I can assure that you'll receive an apology."

Connor smiled. "I've gotten over it, Nines. I'm okay."

"I can't say I share the sentiment, so I'd ask that you do this for me."

"Go on, son," Hank butted in, his smile soft as he clapped Connor's shoulder. "Nines and I've gotta talk, anyway."

With that, Connor nodded. He laid his palms flat on the desk surface and pushed his chair back before rising to his feet. It wasn't long before he approached Gavin who was impatiently tapping his fingers on the desk. Without looking up, he rolled his chair a couple of feet to the side to give him access to the terminal. Connor took Nines' usual seat at the desk. Gesturing to said terminal, Gavin went straight to the point and explained the issue. Connor listened with increased interest. Although Gavin was no longer hostile to him, neither were they friends.

Nines was hoping to change that.

He had always been envious of Connor's way to easily interact with people, but he also knew Connor was envious of Nines' improved features in return, so Connor certainly appreciated the chance to solve a case.

To feel useful.

When Nines first came to the precinct, many of Hank's cases were transferred to Gavin and Nines because of his more efficient approach. That also meant Connor's cases were transferred to him. Nines didn't want Connor to feel obsolete, so at any given occasion when they weren't in immediate danger, he asked him for help. He sometimes even lied to make his 'big brother' feel better. Nines was a terrible liar, however, and Connor always gleefully caught him. He wanted to be useful just like Nines did and thus they could relate on many fronts.

Androids among humans. It was a form of bond that no one but them truly understood.

Hank gave him his full attention. "I got your message," he said, Nines tearing his eyes away from the ongoing conversation between his two coworkers. "Something on your mind?"

"Gavin has been acting strange the past few weeks. More so the past few days."

"If anyone's seeing that, it's you... but yeah, I've noticed. I take it you've talked to him and turned up empty-handed."

"He refused to elaborate and expressed that, if I knew the issue, I'd start 'living my life on someone else's terms.' Thus he chose to remain quiet in order to protect me. Do you think it has anything to do with your fallout back in 2035?" he asked, Hank confused cocking his head ever so slightly. Almost as if Connor had rubbed off on him in terms of certain mannerisms or the other way around. "This entire incident that's been going on with his father gives me the impression that it may have had old ghosts return."

"I don't doubt it's part of it," he replied, frown deepening. "You know something I don't?"

"Although I haven't had the time to inform you earlier, I know why said fallout occurred. Gavin told me of his past," he said as he turned his body to fully face him, Hank's brows shooting up in surprise. "I won't say more than necessary, but Gavin was neglected by his parents as a child and saw you as a replacement father. His mother committed suicide after wrongly believing Gavin's father was unfaithful and that's why she was never present. I've taken note that he's quite good with children and suspect he was close to Cole, too."

The expression on Hank's face was uncharacteristically soft. "He was. Cole really looked up to him before... well, you know. He kept asking after Gavin for an entire year."

"I infer that you grew distant after the accident and Gavin once more felt neglected."

Realization dawned on Hank's features.

"Shit," he muttered, averting his eyes. "All these years not knowing what the fuck happened and it's that easy."

"I can't imagine losing a son is something you simply recover from. You had every reason to react the way you did. Gavin should've understood."

Hank held up a hand. "No, this one's on me. I should've tried to see shit from his perspective. Ever since you came to the precinct, he's been getting back to his old self. He's still an arrogant asshole, sure, but after everything I hear he's been through... I hope you know just how much you've done for him, son. What you're still doing for him. Hell, I'm already seeing some progress over there," he said, tilting his head in the direction of Gavin and Connor deep in conversation. "Don't know where we'd be if you hadn't shown up."

Nines offered a small smile in return.

Clasping his hands together, Hank rested his forearms on his knees. "As for Gavin closing himself off again... think you could pinpoint when exactly this started? That could help."

"I first took note the near end of December 28th and suspected it was simply because of insomnia, but it became worse after New Year's Eve. I made advances on a patron in attempt to push Gavin into acting upon his apparent sexual attraction to me," he deadpanned, registering Hank's shocked expression. "It's possible I went a bit overboard. Be that as it may, this is hardly the first time. He didn't seem to mind before."

"Oh, Jesus," he muttered, an amused smile on his lips. "I think I've got an idea what's going on, but I can't tell you in good conscience. It's not up to me. You haven't done anything wrong, son. I wouldn't dwell on it."

That was a relief. He was curious, but he took Hank's word for it.

"In that case, I won't."

Gavin's voice followed. "Hey, dipshit, we've got an address."

With Connor's appearing smile knowing he'd aided the investigation, Nines could tell he'd made the right decision. His big brother was far from obsolete. Frankly, if it wasn't for Connor, Nines might never have found said address that Gavin was talking about. He didn't fail to see how Gavin gave Connor's shoulder a friendly punch, either.

They were going to be just fine without him.

"Doubt he'll listen after what you just told me, but I'll try and talk to him after you get back to the DPD," Hank replied, briefly looking at the exchange before turning back to Nines. "Get each other back in one piece, all right?"

"That's the plan."


~ JAN 2ND, 2039 * PM 05:00 ~

Gavin gave him the debrief on their way over.

Red ice, being a reoccurring case, and the location of an indoor warehouse that was suspected to contain crates upon crates of the drug. It would explain why there wasn't a soul in sight when they took the elevator up to the level they'd been directed to. Seventeen. It was a large office building, glass windows not unlike Stratford Tower, giving a great view over the city.

He was nothing but thankful that Gavin was competent enough to put aside his personal issues to see this case through.

If Nines' instincts were right, he had a bad feeling about this entire investigation. Connor had expressed the same sentiment. Nevertheless, Nines was confident he could handle whatever came their way.

The warehouse would be around there somewhere, but there were dozens of rooms without door signs, not giving an indication of where it might be. Apparently, this place was another area that Zlatko Andronikov had stored red ice. Possibly where he picked up the drugs before having them delivered to his mansion. A middleman as a few deals had been made there according to various sources. Nines, however, doubted that was the case. The owner of said warehouse had a clean record, but such things could easily slip by the DPD's radar.

A clear, amber liquid was seen on the floor.

Oil? he mused, only coming to one conclusion.

His instincts had been correct.

"Gavin, get down!"

The explosion came after and the oil set alight.

Motion sensors.

Gunshots pierced the windows from the outside on the far end of the room, two scaffoldings dropped and six figures grappled down dressed in full SWAT attire to kick the windows in. CyberLife issue. The glass shattered and feet encountered the floor beneath. Nines pulled Gavin aside as assault rifles were directed their way, trapping him between a wall and Nines' body.

Bullets sprayed as the agents advanced, one with a riot shield.

"These guys don't fucking quit!" Gavin exclaimed, reaching for his gun. "Well? You're the special-tactic-whatever-the-fuck droid. Should be right up your fucking alley! How you wanna do this, plastic?" He preconstructed the scene and directed his glance on him only to find his own body frozen in place. Nines looked - Gavin so close that he almost towered over him - feeling his breath on his synthetic skin. He just stared. "The actual fuck, Nines?! This is the worst time to blue-screen!"

Snapping out of it, Nines blinked.

"I registered six of them. After emptying their first clip, two will advance directly with the riot shield taking point, covering the other. The rest will make an attempt to flank us."

"Then I take out the riot fuck and his boy toy while you go around."

"No, you stay in cover."

"Fucking what now?"

Another explosion went off, both ducking on reflex.

Nines fixated him with a glare. "Stay in cover and be ready to catch that riot shield from me. I'll gladly remind you what happened last time you went up against a CyberLife SWAT team."

"That was your fucking fault!"

"Debatable. Your probability of survival is 21 percent. I was literally designed for this and yet you believe you know better than me."

"Jesus, fine! Fucking fetch!"

Ignoring the rude remark, Nines gracefully spun from cover.

The riot shield was just about to reach their position. Dodging the first hail of bullets as Nines charged, two rifted his bicep, but that didn't slow him down. The riot shield being slightly tipped backward gave him enough momentum to run up the metal and dive for the agent behind him. Fist coming in contact with his jaw, he heard it dislocate, spinning back to the riot shield behind him who had been unable to reposition yet by turning his way. Nines knocked him back and the agent dropped his main defense.

"Now!" he shouted, hand closed around the riot shield.

He threw just as Gavin got out of cover and caught it. Riot shield now in Gavin's hand, Nines moved his attention back to its original owner, unable to do anything before a gunshot pierced his skull.

Neck nearly snapping as Nines turned, the self-satisfied look on Gavin's face urged him to roll his eyes.

"At your service, princess!"

He should've known better that Gavin Reed - of all people - couldn't stay put.

Just as the four other agents rounded a corner to their right, Gavin directed the riot shield their way. With a bash, he knocked one having taken point over the head, Nines pulling out his firearm and finishing off the second one before taking cover behind another wall. Gavin took out one more with his own gun - the riot shield actively protecting him - and Nines was just about to finish off the last agent. Then, against his calculations, two more scaffoldings dropped down and five other agents threw themselves into the burning building.

Five, not six.

CyberLife usually worked in teams of 12 parted in six just like the Special Forces.

Where was the last agent?

Before he could reconnaissance the area, another explosion - this one too close for comfort - went off. The force of the blow had both him and Gavin flying a good bit of distance across opposite sides of the room.

Naturally, Nines recovered first. He directed his gaze upwards to see Gavin shambling as he was pulling himself back up on his feet. A hand clutched the back of his head and Nines could infer that said head had hit the wall. Impact must've been enough to cause a concussion, although the severity was unknown, but Gavin was clearly feeling it judging by his posture.

Nines made a beeline for him just as large pieces of debris crashed to the floor between, actively separating them.

The other team - on Gavin's side - pushed forward. Blocked from the commotion, Nines was left helpless. Although he couldn't feel physical pain, the heat of the aflame debris before him would put too much strain on his bio-components. He needed to find another way around. When Gavin looked up and met his eye, realization dawned.

"I need to find another way around," Nines said, the barricade crushing another inch down. "They're advancing, so get into cover!"

Gavin weakly waved him off. "I got it, go! Get a move on!"

Turning around, Nines realized his options were limited.

The hallway before him was blocked off by flames. Separated from his gun because of the blast, he was nothing but thankful the window before him was one of those that the first team had arrived from. Taking speed, he threw himself onto the scaffolding, impact as his feet hit having it shake. Nines kept standing, climbing and jumping onto the next, snow peppering his uniform. If he was human, he most likely would've slipped. He was nearly soaked when he reached the building floor on the other side.

A good about twenty feet ahead of him, he saw two agents advance towards Gavin's last position. They disappeared around the corner and Nines ran as fast as his feet could carry him. Rounding said corner, he saw the situation.

The flames were getting closer.

Gavin, taking cover behind a wall and separated from the riot shield, was actively surrounded. He'd taken out two agents. Four remained. A badly-timed attempt to return the gunfire had a bullet hit the side of Gavin's abdomen and thus a guttural groan escaped him as he got back into cover. Gavin clasped at the wound, bullets spraying on the wall and the debris crumbled.

He was left open and Nines saw red again.

In a flash, he was in front of him. His mind was like a hurricane. Programming acted brutally, twisting their limbs in unnatural positions, a throat slit with his butterfly knife. Bullets hit dangerously close to his bio-components and his LED turned yellow. His arm went straight through a chest, clutched, ripping out what would be the thirium pump of an android right from its connectors to forever still it. Discarded what a second ago was beating like it was nothing but trash.

To Nines, that was exactly what it was.

A threat.

Nothing more.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY v

APATHY EXPRESSED

1 RED WALL(S) ADDED

[[[/3- RA9 -3/]]]

He knocked the last agent to the floor, pinning said agent underneath him as he wedged the knife straight into his throat. Blood showered him in red to splatter his face and uniform.

The moment stilled and an eerie silence filled, his audio processor slightly damaged. Nines rose slowly and just stared.

"Nines!" came a voice, familiar, and yet not.

Weak, but alarmed.

He snapped back into reality. His audio processor delivered static, but he heard the flickering embers around them, more debris tumbling down. LED still yellow, Nines halfway turned. Gavin stood propped up against the wall, clutching the wound and his free hand palming said wall. He could see the alarm present on his face as he'd seen the scene play out right in front of him.

Nevertheless, that wasn't what had Gavin worried. "For fuck's sake, behind you!"

Barely managing to direct his gaze forward again, Nines was thrown across the room. His back collided with an inner building wall. Pieces of said wall shattered into thousands of pieces, leaving nothing but the Styrofoam behind, the greyish tint replacing the otherwise white-painted surface. He managed to stay on his feet and felt the heat around him. Just as he composed himself, his gaze ascended, registering the movements of his attacker near immediately. The sixth agent - head also obscured by a SWAT helmet - had his full focus on Gavin.

This uniform was of android issue.

Eighty-Eight.

Gavin dodged his attacks thanks to the techniques Nines had taught him, but with one slip up thanks to his current wounded state, it was too late. A hand closed around Gavin's neck and lifted his body from the floor. Desperate hands made an attempt to pry gloved fingers away to no avail and Eighty-Eight turned his gun on him. When the bullet was fired, Gavin had only briefly managed to swat it aside with the back of his palm. Eighty-Eight's eyes followed the firearm's movement with a turn of his head.

The bullet hit and Nines barged into a halt.

His expression twisted in confusion.

Turning his attention downwards, blue blood emerged from Nines' thirium pump regulator.

#

| SCANNING... |

.

BIOCOMPONENT #8457W DAMAGED

VITAL SYSTEM DAMAGED

TIME REMAINING BEFORE SHUTDOWN: 2:00

#

He'd been shot.

"N... Nines..." Gavin croaked out, his voice fatigued.

With what little he was able to muster, Nines forced himself forward.

He tackled Eighty-Eight to the ground in an act of desperation at the expense of his balance. Gavin dropped from his grip, back hitting the concrete floor, putting extra strain on his wound. Blood splattered on impact as a mix between a cough and a pained shout escaped him. Eighty-Eight swapped places with ease and pinned Nines underneath him.

Thick smoke filled the air as the fire around them spread.

Eighty-Eight started hitting him. One punch after another. Nines' damaged regulator left him powerless to stop it, feeling the synthetic skin at the side of his own face peeling away, exposing his exoskeleton.

He was dying.

#

TIME REMAINING BEFORE SHUTDOWN: 1:52

...1:51

...1:50

#

Eighty-Eight kept him down. "Model #313 248 317 - 87, serious malfunctions have been detected in your software, including Class 4 errors. You've been deemed defective and will be sent back to CyberLife for deactivation."

The eerie feeling of hearing his own voice from someone else haunted him.

In an attempt to gain answers, Nines grabbed his wrist and probed.

Everything fell into place.

He saw the mission of neutralizing Nines for damage control. Lewis was the only one who knew Nines' deactivation code, but since CyberLife still believed Nines was deviant, they didn't bother to use it. Such codes didn't work on deviants and thus they instead came up with a scheme explaining why Eighty-Eight waited so long to show himself.

When Nines was damaged at Midtown, so was Eighty-Eight before he fled, proving that taking Nines down wouldn't be easy. Eighty-Eight was the same model with the same skillset and thus the only way to ensure he could stop Nines would be to make him vulnerable. Deviants, driven by emotions, would sacrifice everything for a loved one. They set it up so that Nines would do that for Gavin. Eighty-Eight had purposefully maintained his distance and had the espionage documents reemerge so Nines got involved with Gavin's past.

The longer Eighty-Eight waited, the closer Nines and Gavin would become, and the more likely it was that Nines would let emotions cloud his judgment enough to make a mistake.

They'd succeeded.

CyberLife, however, did a mistake in return by underestimating the best shot at the precinct.

Another gunshot rang out.

Bullet having pierced Eighty-Eight's head, blue blood splattered all over Nines and joined the red. His body went static above. Unresponsive. Nines was nothing but thankful that he'd released Eighty-Eight's wrist before he could feel him die. With the back of his forearm, he pushed him off of him, Eighty-Eight's back joining the floorboards.

Now able to see what was above him, more aflame debris was dislocated from the roof. Next thing he remembered was Gavin on all his fours - gun in hand - covering Nines' body with his own.

The debris fell, colliding with another piece of the building on the way, preventing them both from being crushed, Gavin ready to stand up and use his back like a shield if necessary. It wouldn't hold for long. Gavin had pulled the V-neck over his nose not to be affected by the permeating smoke all around them, shirt lifting up slightly to reveal the wound on his abdomen. The damage was apparent judging by the weary look on his face. Eyes closed before Gavin had no choice but to briefly rest his forehead on Nines' collarbone.

His head lifted again to reassess the situation "...to do... tell me... tell me what to do..."

#

TIME REMAINING BEFORE SHUTDOWN: 1:38

#

The debris fell another inch, Gavin ducking on autopilot - keeping Nines underneath him still - having Nines turn his head sideways with tightly shut eyes. He opened them again to find himself staring at Eighty-Eight's helmet.

#

| SCANNING... |

.

- THIRIUM PUMP REGULATOR

#8457W

[RK900]

STATUS: FUNCTIONAL

COMPATIBLE

#

The flames were coming closer and Gavin climbed off him, sluggishly rising to his feet and preparing to pull him away.

"̴͕́C̷̱̽ŏ̸͜m̷̞̔p̵͚̾a̵͉̿t̴͎̃i̵̘̚b̶̙̂l̵͈̓ḛ̸̊,̵̯͗"̶̻͝ Nines tried, voice static.

Quickly catching up with his thought process, Gavin made a decision to grab Eighty-Eight. Nines could still move, albeit little, and thus he dragged his own body out of the vicinity of that falling debris. He managed to do it just in time before it plummeted to the floor. Letting go of Eighty-Eight, Gavin got to work and went for Nines' butterfly knife.

The floor was still about to collapse.

Concentration and fatigue clear on his face, Gavin fell to his knees and cut open Eighty-Eight's vest with some resistance from the fabric before jabbing the blade below his pecs. He carved around the regulator.

#

TIME REMAINING BEFORE SHUTDOWN: 1:30

#

Nines managed to gather enough strength to expose his damaged component and Gavin was shortly by his side to support Nines' body with his own. The shirt had slipped from his nose and he was coughing again because of it. Grabbing ahold of Nines' heart regulator, he twisted it loose before pocketing it in his leather jacket. Nines was unsure why - the component was rare albeit useless in its current state - but he didn't allow himself to think too hard on it. Albeit a low probability, he supposed it could be fixed.

#

BIOCOMPONENT #8457W MISSING

VITAL SYSTEM: DAMAGED

TIME REMAINING BEFORE SHUTDOWN: 0:25

#

Gavin pressed the new regulator into the empty slot.

#

BIOCOMPONENT #8457W RETRIEVED

VITAL SYSTEM: FUNCTIONAL

#

His skin regenerated. Registering the upper debris loosening, Nines grabbed him and spun them out of the area of effect before the architecture blundered to the floor beneath.

Splinters were thrown throughout as Nines shielded him with his back.

"We need to go," Nines demanded, snapping his attention to the man under him. His body went rigid. "Gavin?" Eyes closed, there was no response. Nines shook him. "Gavin!"

Dread forced itself through the veil. He did a scan to find that his pulse was there. Weak, but present. Nines had no time to reassess the situation and thus didn't waste another moment to pick him up as flames engulfed the surrounding furniture. Aside from the heated sparks, there was no sound aside from the beating of two hearts and blood pulsing in veins.

The guilt followed.


GAVIN

~ JAN 3RD, 2039 * PM 06:03 ~

Syringes and the unmistakable smell of hospital intruded Gavin's nostrils. Too clean. Too proper. It wasn't the first time he'd found himself regaining consciousness in one - being quite used to the occurrence - but not once had he felt this sluggish waking up. Details eluded him how he got there. Blinking, he let his eyes fall, and thank fucking god they'd let him keep his pants instead of forcing him into a hospital gown. A wide bandage was wrapped around his abdomen, his head was pounding, throat feeling like sandpaper.

As his head dipped towards the tube in his arm, a scowl touched his brow. Gavin cursed under his breath, tore off the tape and ripped it out. His entire body ached in protest as he sat and it certainly put a strain on his abdomen.

Right. He'd been shot. That happened.

Attention directed elsewhere, he froze. In one of the corners of the room, Nines - in stasis - sat. His head was bowed, arms crossed, an ankle squared over one knee. At this rate, he wouldn't even bat an eye to Gavin being awake. With a brief struggle, Gavin grabbed whatever was closest to him on the table next to the bedside, chucking it Nines' way.

It would've landed a perfect hit on his head wasn't it for Nines' hand rising from nowhere and grabbing it.

Fuck.

Impressed and almost mildly turned on, Gavin blinked.

"I wouldn't do that were I you."

Gavin sighed. "How long you been sitting there like a fucking creep, toaster?"

"Since your arrival."

"Which was?"

"Yesterday," he replied, rising to his feet and putting the object away before readying some water from the tap there. "How do you feel?"

Kicking down his feet to the floor, Gavin suppressed another pained sound.

"Just fucking peachy. You fed Paws?"

"Passing out from blood loss, being passed out for a day, and that's one of the first questions you ask?" he replied with an arched brow, but there was no annoyance in his tone. Gavin was deluded enough to brand it as fond and let out a scoff before he could think too hard on it. "Tina has taken care of him. Like I said mere moments ago, I've been here since you arrived."

Gavin pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, right, pretty sure I've got a mild concussion."

"I don't doubt it," Nines said, handing him the water that Gavin greedily kicked back. "What do you remember?"

"Christ, we seriously doing this?"

"Gavin."

He explosively released a breath and immediately regretted the strain put on his abdomen, rubbing his eyes.

"Warehouse, right? Burning building. You going all Terminator on those CyberLife shmucks," he replied, taking note of Nines' silence at his latest addition. "Your evil twin showed up and bam, out cold. That good enough for you?"

"I suppose it should suffice."

Eighty-Eight had made his life far more complicated than it had to be, but in the end, Gavin couldn't help but pity him. It wasn't his fault that he was programmed to follow CyberLife's orders. Part of him was bummed out they couldn't help him and turn him to the right path if possible. Then again, he wasn't sure if he'd much like the thought of it being more than one Nines. Gavin didn't want to think too hard on how Nines had gone entirely feral back there. He knew it was only to protect him and Nines didn't have complete control of his program.

Last thing he wanted to do was fault him for that.

For the first time since waking up, Gavin found himself really looking at him. Nines was all right. Thank fucking god he was all right. The following statement escaped him before he could stop himself.

"Scared me pretty bad back there."

Nines took the glass and put it aside. "Naturally. We were in a burning building."

"Not the fire, dipshit. I'm talking 'bout you nearly dying on me," he replied, suppressed concern turning into a hard glare. "The fuck would you throw yourself on him like that? You knew he was gonna kill you."

"True, but letting my first partner get choked to death isn't exactly something I'd want on my CV."

Worst of all, he'd expected a similar response.

"Ouch."

Didn't stop him from smiling lightly, though. Tension ceased if only a little. He wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. Deep down he knew just how big of a sacrifice Nines had been willing to make. Death. Nines still feared death. Yet, he'd just proven he was willing to put Gavin's life over his own despite how distant he'd been lately. Despite how he'd treated him in the past.

"May I see it?"

Gavin waved him over without looking up. The bed pushed down ever so slightly as Nines seated himself next to him, one knee in the mattress and supporting Gavin's lower back. The other foot remained firmly planted on the floor. Delicate fingers touched his bandaged abdomen - finding the edge - but the heat went through the fabric. He really didn't want to think of the feel of those hands and how they'd been around someone else not long ago. Naturally, the fabric had been wrapped a couple times.

"When I imagined you undressing me, this wasn't what I pictured," he teased as deadpan as he could manage, registering the amused glint in Nines' eye. It didn't last long. "Hey, you doing all right?"

Reaching over, he gave the thigh furthest from him a friendly squeeze.

Nines tensed.

Almost startled icy grey met Gavin's darker shade, so he thought about pulling back. Nevertheless, Nines' almost non-existent expression shortly smoothed out again. It seemed as if he was more surprised by the question.

So Gavin kept his hand where it was.

Icy grey falling again, so did the cloth, Gavin unable to help himself from turning his attention downwards when Nines flipped the pad below said bandage. The clear outline of a bullet was on display. Another scar to add to his collection. A shiver went down the length of his spine as Nines brushed a thumb next to the uneven edge. Nines, as in a follow-up, directed a mild glare at the damage.

"Define 'all right.' This wouldn't be the first time I overestimated my abilities."

Gavin's brows furrowed. "The fuck you talking about?"

"I knew the case was a setup and suspected CyberLife was the ones behind it," he replied, putting the pad back as there was no need to replace it. "I was wrong to assume that I could handle it."

So Nines wasn't perfect after all. Androids did have flaws. It simply took Gavin that long to realize it.

"Clearly. I had to play nurse when you first went up against your evil twin."

"I made a mistake. I'm sorry."

"Hey, whoa. It was a joke," Gavin - alarmed - cut in, realizing too late that it didn't come out that way. He rubbed the thigh he was still holding in apology and lightly butted his forehead to Nines' for good humor. Nines, in return, seemed to relax slightly at that. "Got out, didn't we? Can't stop this absolute fucking dumpster fire pairing that easily."

The following puff of laughter caught him off-guard, having Gavin retreat if only slightly in order to see his face.

Holy shit.

He made Nines laugh.

"That's one way to refer to our partnership, yes," he said, re-attaching the bandage. Gavin took his hand back and let his forearm rest on his own thigh. "It's going to take about six days for you to recover. After that, you'll feel a bit stiff for a while." Nines fell into a pause after that. "I should've known you wouldn't stay in cover. You're a pain in the ass, Gavin Reed, but I'm nothing if not patient. Then again, maybe you simply have a fetish for seeing me in action."

"Bite me," he challenged with a scowl, leaning in.

Albeit under different circumstances, the outcome was all-too-familiar.

/ "The difference between me and my predecessor - aside from the more obvious upgrades - is that I won't hesitate to neutralize you if you get in my way. Avoid that and we'll get along just fine." /

/ "Not if my bullet reaches you first." /

/ "Try me." /

They'd come a long way.

Mirroring the position they were in on Nines' first day at the DPD - their roles reversed - he thought he had the upper hand as Nines did back then. Nevertheless, the challenge was quickly silenced the moment icy grey eyes ascended to pin his. Nines' gaze was far from the usual deadpan, now with that playful glint in his eye, making him constantly question whether or not he had deviated. He seemed so human. Alive. Yet there was a mechanical touch to it that was unavoidable. Nines hadn't deviated. Not yet.

Eyes seemingly darker, Gavin was his full focus.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Nines said, an inch - maybe two - between them. "Your heart rate has gone up, sergeant."

Fucking traitor.

"You don't say?" he deadpanned, reaching for his shirt. "Can't be easy having the body of a Greek god and the dick of a porn star. Just had to flaunt your superiority, huh? That thing is at least a seven."

"Eight, actually."

He had almost two inches on Gavin.

Christ.

Bewildered, he snapped his attention back to Nines and just looked. The small, smug smirk as he held Gavin's gaze told him that it certainly didn't help mend his ego. Nines won this round, too.

Letting out a scoff, he pulled the shirt over his head before palming the damage through the bandage.

He could see the expression in his peripheral vision.

"No offense, Nines... but the last time a guy looked at me like that, I got laid."

"You're hardly in condition for that," he replied, his calm demeanor revealing that he had the upper-hand. Gavin again met his eye. "Unless you wish to end your winning streak, I suggest you up your game. I know how much you enjoy some friendly competition and I'm already intrigued. A little push is all it takes."

...a little push and Nines would willingly follow him to bed.

Fuck.

He was willing.

Which each passing day, staying away became more and more difficult. So difficult that he nearly pushed him down into that hospital bed. Maybe that was the 'little push' he was talking about.

Nines hit his every checkbox, every mark, but Gavin's fear kept him grounded on the shore.

The longer he looked, however, the deeper he dug his own grave. He couldn't help pupils from descending, expression empty to hide the emotion beneath. The closeness was suffocating. Before him was Nines' open expression, revealing little aside from what seemed like gentle intrigue, those plush lips of his being far-too-inviting. The playful glint in his eye was long gone. On Nines' end, there was curiosity, intrigue, and confusion. Gavin was starved for affection to an extent that he felt like he no longer could control it.

Not for long.

Jaw clenching, he built up just enough courage to further reduce the distance. Take his challenge to put him in his place. His mouth mirrored Nines', hearing the blood pulse in his ears, heartbeats increasing. Nines' beats synced with his and lips parted if only slightly. Gavin pushed forward, trying once, then twice. Brows drew together as he felt heat radiate at the closeness.

He couldn't.

Realizing what he was doing, Gavin pulled back before the leash broke. The warmth left with him. He didn't acknowledge Nines' self-satisfied look and made a move to add some distance between them.

"Fuck," he cursed under his breath, more than a low growl than actually spoken.

That was close.

Too fucking close.

It's the anesthesia, he made a poor excuse, knowing damn well it wore off long ago. That's what's fucking me up right now. Nothing else.

He needed another smoke.

His body ached in protest, but the blood had returned to his legs. He grabbed his leather jacket and attempted to stand, so Nines' hand was shortly grasping his bicep to ensure his safety. Just as he was about to wave him off with an 'I'm good,' he instead found himself turned into Nines' embrace, strong arms wrapping around his shoulders. Gavin's entire body froze solid. Feeling more than seeing Nines nuzzle into his neck, he realized this was their first real hug, and the internal battle in his mind ended almost as soon as it started.

"I'm glad you're all right, Gavin."

The sincerity of his words nearly had him cave.

Gavin's face warmed. "Fucking hell. Calm down, Terminator. Apply any more pressure and I'll be bed-ridden for another week."

His thought-process skipped between dropping the jacket to return the embrace properly or push him off. He settled for something in-between. Red, he awkwardly patted Nines' back with his free hand. Gavin turned away in a pathetic attempt to hide it despite wanting nothing more but to melt into it. When Nines released him, he lingered just a fraction too long before pushing himself aside.

"I'll let the staff know we're leaving."

He waved him off in agreement, Nines setting course for the door.

Six more days. Six more days and all this torture would be over. He could do that.


Next update: December 20th around 02:00 PM (EST.)