Sophia's Chronicles
Chapter 24: The Experiment
Working with an angel who helped lock Lucifer back up. I couldn't say I liked the circumstances. War often made strange bedfellows. But that didn't change my priorities. I had to get out of Heaven and free Lucifer, and to do that, I had to be rid of a major obstacle—Raphael. Just my luck, the sun had ascended and the obstacle had come to visit me.
"Even the most dissenting of angels can tell that you're no good. It's that obvious now," he gloated. "It just proves my point."
His voice pulled me out of a meditative trance, but I kept my eyes closed. I took in a deep breath to remained centred. "There's still trouble in Paradise. Your incompetence is on display for all to see," I said, my voice as gentle as trickling stream.
"You're referring to Castiel's little trick. The little Seraph may try, but no amount of souls will be enough to defeat me. A worm in snake's clothing is still a worm," he reasoned, a scowl tinting his face. "No angels could possibly take him seriously."
"You sure about that? Seemed like he knocked you positively off your feet earlier," I let out a long, tranquil exhale.
"That was nothing. I was caught off-guard. Won't happen again," he insisted. Men and their fragile egos. "Your daily nutrition was ceased yesterday. You seem too calm."
"The right kind of meditation puts you in a place of peace and quiet… nothing can disturb you." I raised my arms and joined my palms, bringing them down to my chest with a release of breath. "And my son… he is strong enough to survive any tribulation."
"Shall we put that to the test?" Raphael challenged. "I do wonder how long the little parasite can survive without his stardust."
"He can have mine," I warmly rubbed my belly. It was getting larger by the day. I could feel it.
"I might just consider feeding you again. Wouldn't want you to shrivel up and die before I have fun," Raphael pointed out. "And then, I could slip you some poison. Just a little every day, and then one day you will get up and feel nothing growing inside of you… Maybe I've already done it."
"Like you were ever so astute. You probably just came up with that," I retorted with a belated sigh. "If you came here to stop feeling inadequate after Castiel kicked your ass, you can stop now. Go back to God's- I mean, your office and let that giant table make you feel like a large man."
"Oh, Sophia," Raphael pulled his lips into a sloppy assemblage of a smile. "I wasn't lying when I said I could kill your child whenever I wanted. There exists a salve for these situations. Ever heard of… Occatin?"
"We give that to the cherubs," I recalled. A mild confusion had taken root inside of me. It seemed weird to bring up such a long-forgotten tradition. "It soothes their excitement. Helps them control their manifesting powers. What's that have to do with anything?"
"It's an essential for any newly-made angel," Raphael agreed. And then a perverse glint shone in his eye. "Give it to a Gravidas, however, and the unborn dies."
My breath paused in its passage.
"The wings get meshed together," he balled up his fist in the air. "Like a sun collapsing in on itself. Quite a marvellous sight, I must admit. It leaves the mother so vacant, she comes undone. Quite literally. I suspect that a larger dose will suffice for you, but that needs to be put to the test."
His words seemed to pass right through me. The images that came to me… if any of that were true at all, his actions would have paled in comparison to anything Lucifer and I ever did. I didn't want to believe it. "H-how would you know what that does to an unborn angel?" I asked, dreading the answer.
"I think you know how," he seemed so certain. "One of the few good things you did impart, I must say, is a commitment to empirical discovery."
"Y- you… killed the last remaining angels capable of carrying God's children?" I said out loud. My teeth clenched in absolute rage. I tried hard to dissipate the anger with my breaths. "Even for you… this is low."
All he had to say was conveyed in a simple shrug. "I was curious what would happen. Isn't that one of your virtues? Curiosity?" he taunted. "I even wondered if God would strike my hand as I did it," he chuckled. "Surprise, He didn't. And then I kept doing it, and nothing happened. That's when I realised that He was actually gone for good."
Every muscle in me recoiled at the sight of him. I felt nauseous. "And what did Michael have to say about this?"
"He was too down in the dumps to care," Raphael said. It would have been easy to mistake his expression for nonchalance but I knew it too well from myself – it was detachment. When one was too tired to care. Or too unwilling. "All he could talk about was how he lost not one but two brothers and how he missed Father and how he wished you hadn't chosen the path that you did… it was an everlasting pity party. It was pathetic."
Oh, Michael. I knew he'd have felt some way like that. I thought it would have been enough to stop this battle.
"It was I who told him that we had a future to oversee. A future where we would be pillars of God's strength and the world would bow down to us," he said firmly. "I was the only one who could help him regain faith in Heaven."
"Don't toot your own horn or anything," I mumbled. "Michael never needed anyone."
"Only I and I alone!" he said proudly. "I pursued every possibility for hope, even if it meant discarding a few incubators."
Incubators. Seriously? It took all of me not to punch his face in from inside my cell.
"In fact, your little cubs have been useful in that regard. Did they ever tell you that? When they came running into your arms?" he gleefully added.
"It doesn't matter," I turned my head away. "I've trained them to know better. To have awe for creation. They'll not be corrupted by you."
"Oh, I know," Raphael nodded. "That's why I have them chained up in a lab working for me right now. The goal: Occatin, for you."
"No," I shook my head. "I don't believe you. The last seeds for the flower were destroyed when you and Michael savagely burned down my post in Heaven. It's not possible."
"That's the beauty of science," Raphael opened up his arms to gesture. "It makes impossible things possible. Maybe you should see for yourself."
He held out the handcuffs he was so proud of. One of these days, I would shove them down his throat. It was the only thought that kept me strong as I accepted the offer. It was an obvious trap, but I had to see the Nalkam. I had to make sure they were okay, and where they were being held. Besides, I didn't think Raphael would just let me skip out on this.
He placed a possessive arm on my back as he led me down the hallways to the laboratory situated in his former residence, the infirmary. A convenient place to hide any secrets he didn't want being known elsewhere. As we neared the area, trepidation crept up on me like an army of ants making their way up. This couldn't have been a good idea, but I had to know. In any case, I wasn't a Gravidas. I was an archangel. There was no reason to think his little abortion pill would work on me. So I told myself. Over and over again.
The lab was huge. It must have been new, because I had never seen it before. It was the size of the archangel's training courtyard and God knew how much space and reinforcements were needed to diffuse archangels' sparring blows. The high ceiling was bordered by windows which allowed a sparing amount of light in – enough for visibility but not enough for outsiders to get a good view.
The walls of the room were lined with shelves and equipment, only breaking to lead into offices. The pastel red colour of the walls gave an eerie glow akin to dried-blood. Work benches were lined neatly near the entrance of the lab, whereas a freer space with furniture was found to the back where the angels could convene for discussions. Guards stood threateningly at every corner.
My chosen few were not looking their best for sure, but neither was I. They were all weary and miserable, the way flowers wilted or how once-beautiful houses became rustic and dusty. Heavy shackles bound their wrists with long chains allowing them just enough space to work. I breathed my first relief when I realised they were alive. Raphael lugged me by the chains linking my cuffs to where Dinah was conjuring heat in a flask.
"Dinah," Raphael greeted, breaking the silence. Poor angel had to do a double take. Her eyes flickered between him and me, and then between my eyes and my belly. I could see the questions brimming in her eyes. "Do tell our guest what you have with you."
She gulped. "It's the extract," she softly muttered.
"Of. What?" Raphael pressed.
"Of Occatin," she said through quivering lips. "Sophia, I- I'm sorry."
The other angels of Nalkam, the Seekers, and their boss, Raziel, the Keeper of Knowledge, gathered a safe distance away. They looked like they'd been worked like mules, covered in the dirt and fumes from this lengthy and possibly dangerous process. Hope had been drained from their eyes like slaughtered animals bled dry.
"That's right," Raphael derided.
"Sophia, I- I'm sorry." Dinah was close to tears. I reassured her with a gaze.
"Keeper," Raphael called out. Raziel perked up at that. "Bring us the sample you showed me the last time."
Raziel led Raphael away, momentarily leaving me alone with the others. They wasted no time in huddling around me. "Oh my God…" Dinah's voice trailed off. "You're actually… pregnant?"
It seemed all of their eyes were now drawn to the miracle in my womb. "Kind of a surprise, I know, but I did mean to tell you about it. But answer me this first," I pointed with my head at the table. "How is this even possible?" I asked them in hushed whispers. "I thought all the seeds went up in flames."
They all seemed to hang their heads, as if voicing the answer would affirm their guilt. Finally, Pahaliah said, "A cosmic transaction was made. A life for a life. To get one seed, we had to…" her voice trailed off. Her thin brows crossed stiffly. "We had to um… get something that already consumed the flower."
I awaited the elaboration with my heart in my hands. "Meaning?" I probed.
Rahab held her hand for support. Woe tugged at his face as he struggled to say, "The last cherub to ever be given…"
A cherub? I mouthed to him. He solemnly nodded. Grim images of a once-happy cherub being terrorised in whatever ways Raphael would invaded my mind. Its childlike screams, its small form struggling to escape a far more powerful archangel… wings tearing. I was embraced by a blanket of shudders. Cherubs were the least deserving of any of this. They were the most vulnerable of angelkind, being highly dependent on the rest of us to live. They were clueless and innocent, because that's how they cleansed the world of darkness and struck love into the hearts of Man.
"Sophia, you have to believe us," Shemsiel pleaded. Stripped of his shades, his desperate eyes and dark under-eyes were out in the open. It was practically nakedness for him. "We didn't want any of this."
"I know," I reassured them with a sigh.
"I'm starting to think we should've just accepted your offer and gone to Hell," Shemsiel said, and then recoiled at what he just said. "That sounded better in my head."
"And leave our post here?" Dinah argued in a quick shush. "No way."
"Okay," I gestured for them to stop before a heated argument ensued. "Look, I just need all of you to play along with his scheme a little longer. I have a means of getting us out of here."
"Really?" Dinah asked. I could tell by the longing in her voice that she really wanted to believe me. "No offence, but I mean, with you…" her eyes darted downwards.
"I have a plan," I interjected. "It'll work, trust me. Help is on the way."
"Help? For you?" Rahab wondered. "From who?"
"You'll know," I simply said. "Just be ready to strike anytime."
A glimmer of hope brightened their gazes just as I saw Raphael coming back towards me. Raphael, ever the gentleman, lugged me towards an opening. The team followed suit, keeping their distance as two guards intercepted them.
"Time for a demonstration," the archangel announced. He held up the vial. It contained a tiny, chalky-white liquid. For such a tiny volume, it sure did elicit a trembling like no other within me. "Lucky for you, this stuff is difficult to extract. It took these fine soldiers weeks of effort. This is all they could come up with so far. It's twice the dose for a Gravidas, and just like that, both mother and cherub are gone."
"You monster," I hissed. "You were supposed to be a healer, not a murderer!"
"And you were supposed to serve the male folk," he purported bitterly, before going back to admire his little murder potion. "Now, this amount may not suffice for you, but at least we'll know if it does something."
"Not a chance in Hell," I asserted. I tried to back away but two guards latched onto my arms and held me fast. I saw the terror in my friends eyes. Was it their own, or were those my eyes reflected back at me—I wasn't so sure. I was in full denial even until the moment Raphael used his hands like pliers to force me to drink the concoction. A bitter medicinal taste flooded my mouth. As soon as I tasted it, I spat the mouthful back into his face.
Raphael's face tightened and twisted with rage like it burst within him all at once. In a second, I saw the back of his hand orbiting towards my cheek. A stifled shriek broke through my lips. A guard kept me from ceremoniously crashing onto the ground, but that was the last of any courtesy. Through a dizzying vision, I saw Raziel and the others trying to rush towards me. Their efforts too were thwarted by Raphael's aides. But at least the awful potion was gone. And by the time he could synthesise more, I'd be free. At least, that was the hope. The stinging on my cheek was a temporary trial for that.
"What a waste," Raphael calmly wiped his face with a kerchief. "Would've been a valiant effort…" he reached into his pocket. An identical vial was brandished. Oh no. "…if the little worker bees weren't so efficient. Isn't it funny how I always manage to use your friends against you?"
Before I knew it, his hand clenched my throat and forced my chin up with a thumb. He forced the opening of the second vial into my mouth and rubbed the muscles of my throat to force me to swallow. My body complied without my permission. I felt every millimetre of the liquid flowing down my oesophagus in a torturous march towards the one treasure I had to guard. The guards pushed me down onto a chair while Raphael pulled my shirt up so my belly could be seen. I wasn't sure much would be gleaned like this but he still looked on with a sadistic smile.
I couldn't look at anyone. Not even the Seekers or Raziel. I was afraid of what I'd see. If they were petrified, it would mean something could happen. It would mean… something would befall my baby. That couldn't be, right? Raphael's schemes were all just elaborate jokes. He couldn't have the gall to follow through on any of those. A creation of ours would brave any adversity. That was what Lucifer had said. I replayed his voice over and over again in my head. It was the only substitute for having his arms wrap around me.
It started as a twitch in my belly. The little one jerked a little. It's just a cough, baby. You'll be fine, I said. I hoped. The twitching grew. Little by little, they could see the imprints of his underdeveloped arms and legs reaching about on my belly, like some sick theatre where my skin was the stage. My breathing grew heavier. I wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball. As the spasms intensified, I was a helpless spectator. I wasn't in pain. No, it wasn't me who was suffering. My child was struggling, his tiny vessel squirming to be free from this agony. Please, God… I would be Hell-bound for another million years before any harm should come to him. Hear me, please, I prayed. Your grandson needs You.
The babe's wings began to curl inward, the way ours did when we were in unfathomable, writhing pain. It'll be over soon, baby, just hold on, I told him amidst tears generously watering down my cheeks. It was a whole different kind of torture to be unable to help my son when he was literally inside my body. That was when I felt him reach out, for the first time perhaps. I felt his consciousness tugging at mine, asking for help. I was next to myself with relief. I let him feed off of me as much as he needed. Oh God… It was a miracle in itself that he was aware enough to do that. I became light-headed as he held onto life as tightly as he could, feeding from me more than he actually needed. But I let him—what mother wouldn't do that for her child? Slowly, but surely, his spasms ended and he went back to residing peacefully within his cocoon. A little shaken, but fine. It was good enough to know that he'd grown the ability to reach into the cosmos.
I put a hand to my face and found that it was soaked to the bone. My glare made a slow ascent to Raphael's eyes. He had, of course, began his monologue by then. "I hope you realise what I'm capable of," he said. "This is just the beginning, of course. So I'd suggest you be a good little prisoner now."
He nodded to the guards, who helped me up. But I wasn't done. My nerves were still trembling from the ordeal. That was no weakness. I felt a calling within me—my dark nature coming to light. "You listen to me," I began, my voice rumbling and deep. "You better watch your back, Raphael, because I am coming for you." As I said that, words making my anger material, the winds of Heaven began to stir. They noticed it too. The rustling in the background. "This is the son of Hell, Heaven and Earth. The son blessed by God Himself. You may not face God's wrath but you'll sure as Hell face mine," I spat out every word from the core of my being. My powers may have been dampened but the cuffs could be like twigs in the face of my anger. Lightning flashed all around us. "I swear it on my unborn child!"
A sharp thunder crashed just as I made that promise. All of the angels, including Raphael, stared unblinkingly as rain poured from above outside those slim windows. In the end, it was but I with the smile.
"See that?" I pointed with a look. "My son brings the storm. He's a fast learner."
I didn't struggle anymore. I went along with the guards passively. The Nalkam stood distraught as I passed them, Pahaliah with her hands to her mouth and weeping while Rahab laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.
