Chapter 6 New Years in Hawkins
"I can't believe I let them go, what was I thinking?" Joyce asked Hopper as Sarah looked at some kittens at the animal shelter. Dr. Owens had thought it would be therapeutic for Sarah to have a pet to care for after everything she'd been through.
"You were thinking that you weren't going to let Brenner and his people run your family's life anymore," said Hopper.
"I know," said Joyce. "I meant that when I said it. It's just..Will seemed a little off, like he didn't really want to go, but he was trying to pretend that everything was okay."
"He's not gonna be okay after everything that happened," said Hopper as he squeezed Joyce's hand. Not until after all thing is over, at least. But it will be over, Joyce, I promise."
Hopper glanced at a dog in one of the kennels. Will had stopped to pet that dog when Hopper was out with him the day after Christmas. The people running the shelter had mentioned that Will had visited that particular dog a couple times. The dog was a dark red with black hair scattered throughout her coat. She was some sort of medium sized mutt.
"Will was pretty upset when Chester died," Hopper remarked. "It happened right in the middle of the aftermath of him getting trapped in the Upside Down too."
"It was a bit of salt in an open wound," said Joyce.
"What's the story with that dog over there?" Hopper asked one of the volunteers.
"She's been really skittish," said the girl. "Tomorrow's her last day."
"Last day?" asked Sarah as she looked up anxiously from the kittens.
"Well, we can't let that happen," said Hopper as he looked at the dog staring sadly at the wall of her kennel.
"What do you mean?" asked Joyce.
"That dog seemed to like Will," said Hopper. "Maybe he's meant to have her. They'll be good for each other. Why don't you pick out a kitten for El while you're at it, Sarah."
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Will had been focusing on hiding his overwhelming desire to leave since he and his siblings had arrived in Hawkins the day before New Years Eve. When Mike had invited him (or insisted that he come) a part of Will had hoped that his mother would say no. Unfortunately, she had been on the kick of not letting Brenner and the Upside Down control their lives. Will decided to take Mike's advice and think of El.
He had decided to work on future school assignments while Mike and El were having alone time. Unfortunately, Mike had been trying to overcompensate for all the times he'd left out Will on past visits. He showed Will his Nintendo and started games of Super Mario Brothers and Legend of Zelda with the party members. It was something that would have made Will happy in the past, but his heart just wasn't in it anymore.
Part of him just wanted to be honest with his friends and tell them that it was okay for them to just hang out with their girlfriends and he didn't feel like playing; but he went along with things. If for no other reason, he didn't want to give them an excuse to say that he owed them again. Mike and Lucas constantly glancing at him as he played was very unnerving. Will, who didn't want to give anything away pretended to focus on the games.
Will had always been shy when he lived in Hawkins. He'd become much more bold when he moved to Pawnee. Being at the party with his old classmates from Hawkins Middle had brought back his old social anxiety as people walked past him, stared, pointed and whispered. Mike and Lucas didn't notice as they were focused on El and Max and the drinks they'd all been given that night.
Dustin, whose girlfriend was over a thousand miles away, noticed that Will seemed anxious. "Hey, Byers," said Dustin. "Steve and Robin are gonna pick me up in half an hour to go to a party at the community college. Why don't you come too, and the couples here can have the alone time they so obviously want."
"That actually-" Will began.
"What?" Lucas cut in. "If you really want to go to that college party, we can't stop you. But you're not dragging Will to it as well."
"I'm not dragging him," said Dustin. "I'm asking him if he wants to go."
"His mom'll freak out if he goes there," said Mike. "Do you really want to face the wrath of Mrs. Byers.?"
"Sorry," said Dustin. "It was just an idea."
Will focused on keeping his face impassive as he sipped his drink. Of course what he, Will, wanted didn't matter to his friends.
Shortly after Dustin left the party Max and Lucas disappeared to go make out. Mike and El quickly got the urge to follow suit. El didn't seem to want to leave Will alone at first, but soon started laughing at whispering with Mike before they disappeared down down the hall.
Part of Will didn't care. Another part of him was annoyed that his friends had insisted he come to Hawkins, then insisted that he stay at the party before ditching him yet again. He knew that El wouldn't have left him if she'd known how he was feeling, but he'd kept his anxiety about Hawkins from her because he'd wanted her and Jonathan to have a good time.
Will saw a kid staring out the window. He looked more anxious about being there than Will himself felt. He didn't know the kid and figured he must have been new. Will felt sorry for him and decided to go talk to him. What else was he going to do?
"Hey, are you alright?" Will asked the kid. He looked at Will slightly startled at first, but seemed to recognize him.
"I'm fine, just waiting for my mom to pick me up," he said. "This party isn't really my thing."
"That makes two of us," said Will. He held out his hand. "Will Byers. I used to live here."
"I know," said the kid. "My mom and I moved into your old house. They gave me your old locker too, apparently. Randy Burns." Randy shook Will's hand. "Mike Wheeler sometimes acts like I stole your locker or something. Don't get me started on your old seat in biology."
"Well, Mike can be a bit of a dick if he's going through something. And it was only my locker and seat in biology for about a month," said Will. "Sorry about that."
"It's not your fault," said Randy. "He was just upset about you moving away."
"I doubt it. He was more upset about... someone else leaving."
"Oh no, he was upset about you leaving, trust me," said Randy. Will didn't feel like arguing. A small sedan pulled up. "That's my mom. Gotta go. It was nice meeting you."
With that, Will suddenly found himself standing alone again. He considered just leaving, but where would he go? Could he do that to El? She might try to use her powers to find him. They were only just starting to come back and Will feared she might hurt herself.
"Hi, Will," said Jennifer Hayes from behind him. "Enjoying the party?" Will, of course wasn't particularly happy to be there, but saw no reason to say that to Jennifer who had always been nice to him. He turned around and saw her standing with Julie Mason, the girl he had danced with at the snowball. She looked anxious as well.
"Oh, hey, yeah the party's great, thanks," said Will.
"Great," said Jennifer. "We're glad you could come. I have to check on something. Why don't you and Julie catch up."
Will saw a blush creep up Julie's face. She looked petrified. Jennifer elbowed her playfully and took off.
"You two look like you could use some punch," said a kid that Will didn't recognize. He handed Will and Julie each a glass of red liquid. They both took a sip. Will saw a group of kids staring at him and whispering. Julie followed his gaze.
"Want to get away from the crowd?" she asked.
"I do," said Will.
"I know a place," said Julie as she gestured for him to follow.
"You do?" asked Will.
"Yeah. Jenn's my best friend. I practically grew up in this house."
Julie led Will to a staircase that went to the attic. It was warm and clean for an attic. They could see out the window to the snow outside. Frost covered the window. The freezing weather kept Will trapped in a house that was in a now strange town that was no longer his home. In some ways it felt as though it never had been his home.
"What's on your mind?" asked Julie.
"Just wondering if I ever really belonged here," said Will. The thought of a cover story not occurring to him in that moment. Julie was silent for a moment.
"Oh," she said as she swirled her cup of punch. "Well, for what it's worth, I wish we'd gotten to know each other better. We were hoping you'd join the decathlon team or something. You were always so smart."
Will looked up at her. He remembered that team starting and remembered considering signing up, but didn't. He had been desperately trying to cling to the party at that time.
"Yeah, I wish I had too. Maybe things would have been different... better. I was trying to cling to stupid things and that just made my life... crappy."
"What do you mean?" asked Julie. Will looked at her thoughtfully. She had always been nice to him. He also felt a small amount of savage pleasure in confiding in someone who wasn't Mike or any other member of the party. He was angry at them for insisting he go to a party he didn't want to go to, then ditching him again.
"After I went missing, my mom barely let me do anything. I couldn't ride my bike or go places with my friends anymore. She finally started to let me ride my bike around town again after 8th grade and I thought I was getting my life back, but things had changed. Lucas and Mike had girlfriends and Dustin went to summer camp.
"It was like they didn't notice when I was there half the time or had me around out of pity. That sucked. We'd sometimes sneak into R rated movies. They always had me carry the snacks in my backpack. It's not a huge deal, but they always insisted I do it. They'd run off without knowing they'd left me behind and I kept trying to make things like they used to be like an idiot. Then one day, Mike and Lucas finally sat down for a campaign, but made fun of it and me to my face the whole time. I tried to pretend it wasn't happening until I couldn't anymore. I just felt so stupid."
Will wiped a tear from his face. "Anyway, maybe all that would have been different if I'd tried things outside of our party, them moving on and getting girlfriends wouldn't have bothered me so much. Nothing has changed. They still keep ditching me every time I come her or when they visit me and Mike gets pissed if I don't sit around patiently waiting for my turn to hang out with him."
"Mike's been pretty moody since you left," said Julie. "I think he really misses you."
Will shook his head. "It's not me he misses."
"Do you really believe that?"
"I know it," said Will as he ran his finger over the window. It was freezing.
"For what it's worth, I've missed you," said Julie. "I mean, we barely spoke, but I missed you a lot when you moved."
"You did?" asked Will
"Yeah," said Julie. She stared at her feet and started to blush. "I-I still have that Tonka Truck you gave me in second grade."
"You do?" asked Will. "Why?"
"It was just a nice thing for you to do and it meant a lot. Your dad had just left and you still did something nice for me because my grandma had just died... Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, sure."
"When I asked you to dance at the Snow Ball two years ago, you seemed a little hesitant. Why?"
"Oh, well it was just... I hadn't really wanted to go to the dance that night but my friends had talked me into it. I didn't really think anyone would actually want to dance with me. And when people called me 'Zombie Boy' they usually weren't being nice so I thought you were asking me as a joke or part of a prank or something."
Julie cringed. "Sorry. I just thought it was kind of a cool nickname. I should have thought...just... sorry."
"It's fine," said Will.
"So, are you seeing anyone in Pawnee?"
"No," said Will. "A lot of people think that my friend Jos-Jane is my girlfriend, but we're just friends. Anyway, I've been focusing on studying a lot. I need a scholarship if I'm ever going to go to college." Will thought of the inter-dimensional monsters that constantly haunted him. "Another reason I should have joined the decathlon team, I guess. But Model UN is pretty cool."
"Pawnee has Model UN?" asked Julie. "I wish Hawkins did."
"It's pretty cool," said Will. "Sometimes people from other schools can join in. You should come and participate sometime."
"Maybe I will," said Julie with a small smile.
"I'd like that," said Will. Without thinking he leaned in and kissed her. He suddenly pulled back. "Sorry."
"It's New Years," said Julie with a shrug. "And we missed doing that a midnight." She leaned in and kissed him. Will decided to just return it. It felt good to be in Hawkins and interact with someone outside of the party. Why should he just wait around for his friends?
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"Hopper's gonna kill me if he finds out," said Mike as he pulled El closer. She sighed in contentment, finally fully understanding what Max had meant when she told her about 'good screams.'
"I won't tell him. Will won't either. Will!" El suddenly sat up panicked. "We left him alone! How long has he been alone?"
Mike sat up, equally panicked. "Shit! We have to find him." They got dressed and left the closet they were in. Mike desperately searched the crowd that had thinned since midnight, but couldn't find Will. He saw Jennifer Hayes talking to a group of honors students.
"Jennifer, have you seen Will? We can't find him," said Mike.
"You can't find Will?" asked Lucas as he and Max joined the group. "Did you ditch him again or something?"
"You ditched him too," said Mike angrily.
"He was still with you when we left," said Lucas. "We didn't leave him alone."
"He doesn't need a babysitter," said Jennifer as she rolled her eyes.
"Do you know where he is?" asked El patiently.
"He was talking with Julie the last time I saw him," said Jennifer.
"Do you know where they are now?" asked Max.
"I have an idea," said Jennifer. "But Will seemed pretty upset, maybe he wants to be alone."
"Jennifer, please," Mike begged. "We need to find him."
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"Are you okay?" asked Will as he and Julie got dressed. She nodded.
"I'm fine. I've just never done that before. Have you?" Will shook his head. "I mean, I like you a lot and all, but I wasn't planning on that happening tonight... or this morning I mean."
"Me neither," said Will as he tied his shoes.
Julie pulled her sweater over her head. "Could I call or write you sometime? I'd like to keep in touch and talk more than we did while you lived here."
"Sure," said Will. "I'd like to have someone outside of my old party to talk to in Hawkins."
Julie grabbed a pen and ripped out a piece of paper from a notebook in a box. Will wrote his phone number and new address. "I'm not going to be at this address for a couple of weeks, so..."
"You're moving again?" asked Julie.
"Yeah, to a different house. It's a long story, but I'll tell you about it later," said Will as he handed her the piece of paper.
"Okay," said Julie. She stuffed the piece of paper in her pocket, then leaned in and kissed him again. They were both startled by the sudden loud banging on the attic door.
"WILL!" cam Mike's panicked voice. "Will, are you in there? WILL!"
Will covered his ears, then glanced at Julie. "I guess he suddenly realized he ditched me again and freaked out." Will stood up and helped Julie to her feet. They brushed some of the dust off of their clothes.
He opened the door to see Mike, El, Max, and Lucas standing there. "What the hell, Will. You can't just disappear like that," said Mike angrily.
"Mike!" said El. "He didn't just disappear."
"Yes he did," said Mike. "He always does this. He knows he's supposed to-"
"I'm supposed to what, Mike?" asked Will angrily. "Sit there like a good little boy and wait until you want to hang out with me?"
The color drained from Mike's face. "No that's not what I meant, Will. I-"
"Just save it, Mike. I'm not in the mood," said Will. He took Julie's hand and pushed past Mike and Lucas.
"Will, wait," said Mike. "Jonathan's going to be here soon to pick us up."
"So come and get me when he's here," said Will.
"Shit!" said Mike. He started to go after Will, but Lucas grabbed his arm.
"Maybe Dustin's right," said Lucas. "Let him cool off."
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The next morning, Will was woken up by some loud music from Mike's cassette player. He suppressed a groan, knowing exactly what that music meant. His friends had planned a surprise D&D campaign for him.
"Wake up, the villagers are in danger and only Will the Wise can save them," said Mike as he shook Will's shoulder.
Will was tempted to tell Mike that Will the Wise died the day that he and Lucas had mocked Will's campaign, but decided against it. If he did the campaign, it would be one less thing the other party members felt he owed them.
Will kept his eyes shut and muttered: "Mind if I take a shower first?"
Will went up to the bathroom and became writing down the details of his dream. He'd started keeping a dream journal right before Christmas. The answer to defeating the Mind Flayer once and for all had to be somewhere in his subconscious. Keeping a dream journal was the most solid plan Will had for getting to the bottom of things.
When he finished recording his dream in detail and taking his shower, he went back down stairs to see El and Max putting their coats back on. He quickly stuffed his dream journal back into his backpack before anyone could see. "Where are you two going? he asked Max and El.
"New Year's Day party with some girls at school," said Max.
"It's just going to be the four of us," said Mike.
'Why?" asked Will who glanced at El and noticed that she didn't exactly look thrilled about going to the party.
"Because we haven't had a campaign with just the party members in a really long time," said Mike.
"El and Max are party members," said Will.
"Fine, just the guys," said Lucas. "A day free of girls. Isn't that what you wanted?"
Will wanted to retort that Max and El had never been the problem, but didn't feel like arguing. He merely shrugged and gave an apologetic look to the girls before they left.
His heart wasn't in the campaign. In the past, nothing would have made Will happier than having a D&D campaign, just the four of them. That particular campaign was just a reminder of all the times his friend hadn't been interested in playing during Will's last year in Hawkins.
Two hours into the campaign, Mike read from his campaign binder that a giant wolf spider was crossing their path.
"Will, what's your action?" asked Mike.
"Fireball him," said Lucas.
"Cast protection," said Dustin.
"FIREBALL!"
PROTECTION!"
Dustin and Lucas argued back and forth. The last time they had argued like that, Will had ended up almost dying in the Upside Down. Will put down his head and began tremble at the memory.
"Are you okay?" asked Mike.
"I'm fine," said Will. "I'd just like a minute to figure out my move and then I'd like to make up my own mind for once."
"Yeah, yeah, sure," said Dustin.
"Sorry, we just got a little carried away," said Lucas.
"Forget about it," said Will as he picked up the dice. "I cast firestorm."
"That's too risky," said Lucas. "We don't have enough points."
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained," said Will. "I cast firestorm." He tossed the dice. It was a 12.
"We can just pretend that didn't happen," said Mike. "Go ahead and make a different move."
"That would be cheating," said Will. "And I knew the risks. I'm dead." Will got up, walked over to the sofa, and pulled out one of his textbooks. He sat down and began working on an assignment that wasn't due for another month.
Lucas, Dustin, and Mike all stood up and walked over to him. "What are you doing?" asked Dustin.
"Homework," said Will. "Don't you guys have a campaign to finish?"
"Haven't you done enough homework?" asked Lucas. "Are you ever going to get over that pop quiz Gurskie gave?" He added with a chuckle. Mike and Dustin joined in. Will froze and stopped writing mid sentence. They all stopped laughing.
"It was always funny to you three wasn't it?" asked Will. "The fact that I studied really hard? Well, excuse me, but I need the best grades I can get if I'm ever going to go to college because I don't have a dad that makes a ton of money and my mom has to work for a living. Oh, and there's the ever present possibility of falling behind for Upside Down related reasons."
"Will, we're sorry," said Lucas. "We didn't mean anything by it."
"Of course not, you never meant anything by it," said Will as he continued to write. "Now, I'm going to finish this homework and you guys are going to finish that campaign."
"We'll finish the campaign when you come back and make a real move," said Mike.
"I made a real move and Will the Wise is dead," said Will.
"DO IT OVER!" Mike shouted angrily startling Lucas and Dustin.
"NO!" Will shouted angrily back. "STOP ORDERING ME AROUND!"
He stood up and stuffed his book into his backpack then grabbed his coat, scarf and hat.
"Where are you going?" asked Dustin.
"For a walk, I need some fresh air," said Will.
"Will, you can't leave, it's freezing," Mike protested.
"I can do whatever I want," said Will.
"What is going on down there?" asked Karen as she opened the door at the top of the stairs.
"Nothing, Mom," said Mike.
"What was all that shouting?" asked Karen.
"Nothing, just an argument over a move," said Mike.
Will took advantage of the distraction and slipped out the back door. He ran into the woods and ducked behind a tree.
"Where's Will?" asked Dustin.
"He must have slipped out," said Lucas.
"So let's go find him. He can't have gone far in this weather," said Mike as he grabbed his coat.
"Maybe we should call El, she could probably find him," said Dustin.
"Her powers aren't that strong yet, and I'm not telling my girlfriend that we lost her brother," said Mike. "now let's go find Will before he freezes to death."
Lucas and Dustin quickly followed Mike out of the basement.
"There's his footprints," said Lucas,
"Alright, let's follow them," said Mike. "WILL!"
"WILL!" Lucas and Dustin both echoed. Will was only a short distance away. He covered his ears at the sound of them calling his name. He wanted to stay hidden, so he closed his eyes and focused on his desire to not be seen by them. A minute later, they walked right past Will, still desperately calling his name. He looked up in astonishment as they walked past without noticing he was there.
Will felt slightly dizzy and his nose felt strange. He reached up and brushed his fingers under his nostrils. Blood.
"There aren't anymore foot prints," Will heard Dustin saying. "He must have turned down another path, c'mon!"
Will scrambled to his feet and headed down another path. Of course, he was leaving footprints that his friends could easily follow. He heard them catching up to him. His desire to remain hidden became even stronger. Will let out a yell of frustration as he threw his arm forward. He felt some sort of strange surge through his body. Suddenly there was an odd swirl in front of him, then a opening out of thin air. Will saw the remains of Castle Byers right in front of him even though it was three miles away.
"WILL!" Mike's voice called from behind him, startling Will out of his trance. They weren't visible yet, but they were getting close. Will made a snap decision and stepped through the portal he'd created. He closed his eyes and made a closing motion with his hand. When he opened his eyes again, the portal was gone and he no longer heard his friends calling his name.
Will breathed a sigh of relief and sank to the ground. He saw Chester's grave and felt some tears prick his eyes. Even though Chester was dead, it had felt wrong leaving him in Hawkins. Will pulled some tissue out of his backpack and wiped his nose.
"Will?" Will turned around and saw Randy, the kid he'd met at the party the night before standing behind him.
"Hey, Randy," said Will.
"Are you okay? It looks like you're bleeding."
"Oh, yeah, I just tripped and bumped into a tree. I had a fight with my friends and wanted to be alone."
"Oh," said Randy. "Well, it's freezing out here. Why don't you come inside for a while. My Mom just made some soup."
Will followed Randy without protest. He was cold after all and didn't know where else he was going to hide.
Will stared at his old house as they approached. He thought he'd never enter it again. The smell of the soup Randy's mother was cooking filled the room. The furniture was different, but the paint and wallpaper were the same. A woman came out of the kitchen. She was obviously Randy's mother.
"Hey, Mom," said Randy. "This is Will Byers."
"Oh," said Mrs. Burns. "I met your mother when we closed on this house. She's very nice. You look like her."
"Yeah, I've been told that," said Will.
"What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" asked Mrs. Burns.
"Yeah," said Will. "It met Randy at Jennifer Hayes' party last night and just dropped by to say hi."
"Well that was nice of you. Why don't you stay for lunch?"
"Sure, thanks," said Will.
"It's still going to be another half hour. Make yourself at home."
Randy was staying in Will's old room. He had several records and movie posters in his room.
"You like Bowie?" Will asked as he noticed the poster next to Queen and Elton John.
"Yeah. He's weird in an awesome way, you know?"
"Yeah," said Will. "My brother Jonathan would approve of our old house's new owners. So what brought you to Hawkins?"
Randy took a deep breath. He looked at Will as though he was considering him carefully.
"Sorry," said Will. "I didn't mean to pry."
"It's okay," said Randy. "It's just, my dad found out something about me and kicked me out, so my mom left him and we moved here."
"That sucks," said Will. "And I thought my dad was an asshole."
"I've heard he is," said Randy.
"What else have you heard about my family?" asked Will. "We were kinda the town freaks."
"Most of the stuff I believe, I heard from your friends. They were right, you're pretty cool."
"Thanks," said Will. "Do you hang out with them?"
"No," said Randy. "Like I said last night, I think Mike especially kind of resents the fact that I live in your old house and use your old locker."
"Sorry about that," said Will. "Mike's a good guy, but when he's upset about something... He sometimes takes it out on people who don't deserve it."
"I'm used to that kind of stuff," said Randy.
"You shouldn't have to be," said Will.
"This might seem weird," said Randy. "But do you think we could keep in touch. I haven't exactly made friends here and you're the first person I've actually felt comfortable talking to."
"Yeah, sure," said Will. Two people in the past 24 hours had asked to keep in touch with him. That made Will realize more than ever that he had spent too long relying on the other party members and being too shy to get to know anyone outside of the party.
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"Mike, we have to call El. There was blood on the ground," said Dustin.
"Maybe it wasn't Will's," said Mike as though he was trying to convince himself.
"Maybe what wasn't Will's?" asked Jonathan as he came into the basement followed by Nancy. "Where is Will?"
"We got into a fight and he ran off," said Dustin. "We can't find him. Can you go pick up El at Sally Johnson's house? She can find him."
"I'll be right back," said Jonathan.
"What if something happened to him?" asked Lucas. "What if they have him?"
"Don't say that!" said Mike. "They can't have him, they just can't."
"How else would you explain the blood and his footprints suddenly stopping?" asked Lucas.
"We didn't see any other foot prints," said Dustin. "And Will's always been really good at hiding."
A few minutes later, Jonathan and Nancy returned with El and Max. Without saying a word, El grabbed a makeshift blindfold and turned on the radio to a static frequency. Everyone was quiet as she focused. Oddly, not a drop of blood had trickled from her nose when she pulled off the blindfold.
"I found him. Let's go, Jonathan," said El.
"I'll come with you," said Mike. El shook her head. "El, he's my best friend."
"He's my brother," said El.
"I've known him longer," Mike protested. "I can help. I have to help."
"Mike," said El more firmly. "He's my brother."
Mike sank into his chair. How had things gotten so bad and why couldn't he manage to fix them?
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A few minutes later, Jonathan and El pulled up to their old home. "It feels weird to have to knock on the door," said Jonathan.
"Yeah, weird," said El as Jonathan knocked. A woman about their mother's age answered the door.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"Yeah, we're looking for our brother, Will. Is he here?" asked Jonathan. The woman smiled and nodded.
"Come on in," she said. Will was sitting in the living room talking to a boy about his age. He looked up to see El and Jonathan and stood up. They ran over and hugged him. He returned their hugs.
"We'll give you a minute. C'mon, Randy," said Mrs. Burns. They left the living room and went into Jonathan's old bedroom.
"What happened, why did you disappear like that, Bud?" asked Jonathan.
"Sorry," said Will. "That stupid campaign just brought back a lot of bad memories. It reminded me why I didn't want to come here."
"We can just go home today if you want," said Jonathan.
"No," said Will. "I can wait until tomorrow. I'll be fine. I just need to say something to the other party members."
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When the Byers siblings got back to the Wheeler house, Will said he was tired and wanted to sleep. He told Mike and El to just spend time together since they (Will, El, and Jonathan) were heading back to Pawnee the next day.
"Sorry," said Mike to El as they sat alone later that evening. They kept their voices down as Will was sleeping in the corner. "I should have called you right away when Will went missing."
"It's okay," said El. "He was safe."
"Something could have happened to him though," said Mike. "Plenty of things have happened to him before. It was my fault he ran off too. I just keep trying to make things right with him and I just make them worse."
"Mike, Will made his own decision to run off. He can make up his own mind. You have to let him do that like you used to."
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The next morning as the Byers siblings were getting ready to leave, Will walked over to the other party members. "Can we talk?"
"Yeah, sure," said Lucas. He turned to El and Max. "Can you two give us a minute?"
"No, they can stay," said Will firmly. "I want them to stay." Max smiled at him. She had always been annoyed with the boys club aspect of the party.
"What is it?" asked Mike.
"There are things I need to say and I need you all to listen and hear me. Understand?"
"Yeah," said Dustin. "Go ahead, what do you want to say?"
"I'm not an equal member of this party. I never have been," said Will.
"How can you say that?" asked Mike. Will held up his hand and shot Mike a warning look. He saw El holding her finger to her lips. They had very quickly started to stick up for each other within the group: the way that Mike used to stand up for each of them.
"I can say it because it's true," said Will. "Maybe it's because I was always poor or maybe it's because I was the biggest freak in the group, but I was never an equal member. I was the one who always had to sit in the back of the cars when there weren't enough seats. I wasn't allowed to speak my mind as much as the rest of you, and you guys constantly left me behind without even realizing it. I was constantly afraid I'd be kicked out of the party if I did or said the wrong thing."
Mike wanted to tell Will that he was wrong, but he remembered the night that Will had first disappeared to the Upside Down. Will had hung back to tell Mike that his roll had only been a 7 because he was afraid to tell him in front of Dustin and Lucas. It hadn't been the first or the last time.
"C'mon, Will," said Lucas. "We were never going to kick you out, you were the best of all of us."
"Because I had to be," said Will.
"What does that even mean?" asked Mike.
"Exactly what it sounds like," said Will. "You guys blamed me the year we came in third in the science fair. Lucas was always pissed at me if I made the wrong move in D&D- way more that he ever was at Dustin or Mike."
"Will, I'm sorry," said Lucas.
"I know, and it doesn't matter anymore, I just need you to understand," said Will. "When Mike was mad about Max coming trick-or- treating with us that night, he took it out on me even though all I did was say it was okay. You took it out on me, then left me behind, Mike."
"Will, I'm sorry, I was just-" Mike began.
"You were just going through a rough time; but face it: you get mad at me whenever I was having a good time that year. You were Mr. Caring if I had an episode or was upset; but if I was happy you couldn't stand it. You resented me for coming back from the Upside Down when El had vanished."
El glanced between Mike and Will. She wanted to say something-anything. She had seen how much Mike cared about Will. She had seen how much they all cared about him. She hated seeing their friendship so strained. She looked over to see Max staring at the floor as though remembering something painful.
"Will, we don't see you as a lesser member of the party, we never have," said Lucas. "You've always been through a lot more than any of us and sometimes that makes things seem worse than they are. We risked everything to save you from the Upside Down."
"Yeah and because of that, I should just put up with you guys lashing out at me when you've had bad days because I should be grateful." said Will. Lucas froze. "Yeah, I heard that when you said it." Will had been referring to a conversation he'd overheard between Mike and Lucas a couple months after he'd come back from the Upside Down. Mike had lost his temper and lashed out at Will. He had felt bad after Will left the room and Lucas had told Mike that Will would get over it because it was Will...
"They didn't mean anything by it," said Dustin. "It had been a rough week with and the school work and-"
"We've all had a lot of rough weeks, but you guys always took it out more on me when I didn't even do anything wrong," said Will. "Even you, Dustin."
"When have I ever?" asked Dustin.
"How about the night you got back from camp?" asked Will. "I didn't ditch you before we ever started building the tower-" Will indicated Mike and El. "I didn't laugh at the idea of you having a girlfriend or call you a liar-" Will indicated Lucas and Max. "All I did was go home because it was late and I was tired, but you were just as pissed at me as you were at everyone else and I didn't do anything wrong. But in this group I'm not allowed to go home because I'm tired, mess up on a science experiment, make a wrong D&D move, or not come to Hawkins because I don't feel like it; because I owe it to the group."
Mike felt his stomach drop as he remembered using the word "Owe" with Will when trying to get home to go to Hawkins for New Years.
"Why didn't you every say anything?" asked Lucas.
"Because I was always scared to say anything," said Will. "But I'm not scared anymore and I'm saying now. The truth is though, that this whole mess is partly my fault. I completely and utterly relied on you guys for years. That wasn't fair to you and I shouldn't have done that."
"What do you mean, Will?" asked Mike. "We're your friends. You're supposed to be able to rely on us."
Will shook his head. "I'm not supposed to be dependent on you and I was. Things were changing. Maybe if I had changed, I wouldn't feel as angry as I do about everything. I should have tried to get to know people outside of the party/ I should have just tried new things and I would have been a lot happier. But I kept trying to cling to the past and the way things were before I got stuck in the Upside Down. That just made me miserable."
"Will, we just want to make things right. What can we do for you?" asked Mike.
"You really want to do something for me?" asked Will.
"Yes, of course we do," said Mike.
"Randy Burns, the kid who moved into my old house: be nice to him. He could use some friends and he's really nice. All those times you took your frustration about El being missing out on me, I at least knew what you were going through. Randy, on the other hand, has no idea. Keep that in mind before you go off on him again, Mike. He didn't ask for the things that have happened to him." Mike stared at his feet.
"There is one more thing," said Will.
"What's that?" asked Mike.
"Sometimes I'm not going to want to come to Hawkins when El and Jonathan visit. If I say I don't want to come, don't try to guilt or nag me into coming. Just respect my decision."
XXXXX
Okay, that was a long chappie. There will be some major Will-El sibling stuff in the next chapter
