Sophia's Chronicles
RECAP: Kevin and Castiel reveal a plan to assemble ingredients for an exorcism plan to take down Lucifer. They need the bone of a sacrificial monk, blood of a powerful mage and a primordial ornament. Castiel suggests the Eye of Khaos as a possible candidate and Zara reveals a likely location for the object. Lucifer crashes a meeting among the pagan gods who form Javelin and offers his support if they make deals with him. Morrigan, Dragon King and Horus confess that Lucifer has already offered them enticing contracts, which angers Kali, Ares and other gods.
Chapter 78: Nomad
Motel Room, Idaho Falls, Idaho – 6 October 2012, 9.02am
"So you're sure that there's not gonna be anyone there," Sam clarified. Steaming takeout containers stood between him and Zara as they assumed seats opposite each other. Dean slid in next to Zara with a mug of the strongest coffee he could find. It was a good day for a hike, which was good considering they were headed to the national park to investigate the lead Zara gave them.
"I'm telling you, Sam, I remember her slaughtering them like they were nothing but turkeys on Thanksgiving," Zara kept her eyes fixed on her food. "There's no way anyone survived her. It was like a damn hurricane in there. And if anyone did come to check up on them, there's no way they stayed after seeing the picture she painted." She shook her head as if to dispel the image, breath heavy with colourful descriptions of what she'd seen. "There were only ashes left of them. Not even that, for some."
Dean chewed slowly as her words left a remnant on his thoughts. Swallowing his mouthful, his raspy morning voice attempted consolation. "Let's hope you're right," he took a sip of his coffee. "Cas said this thing was some kind of soul rock?"
"Yeah. It can store souls. A lot of them. The ultimate power source," Zara elaborated, her voice still lacking its usual energy. She channelled her inner trauma for this one. It was an important manoeuvre. Even in her pretence, she could feel her stomach turning. Maybe there was some authenticity to this feeling after all. She poked at her scrambled eggs with a fork.
"We should be back by sunset, if we're lucky enough," Sam guessed. "We can all get some hot chocolate on the way back. How's that sound?"
It took Zara a while to realise he was talking to her. Her pupils shot up to see his – a familiar vision of warmth. "I do love me a good hot choc," she smiled in turn. "But… maybe you guys should go ahead. I'm… not feeling it today. I'm- I'm sorry. It's just this…"
"It's difficult, we get it," Sam rushed to finish her sentence to spare her the trouble. "You've spent so long trying to repress the memories. I know what it's like."
His hand reached across the table to envelop hers. She welcomed it and stroked his thumb with hers. "I know I should be out there helping you guys," she lamented with a sigh. "I just- I-"
"Hey, it's alright," Dean concurred. "You've done a lot as is. I mean, this lead – we couldn't have done it without you, Zee. If you need to take a backseat, it's alright. Especially after you rushed headfirst into trouble the last few times. Hell, it's probably better for Sam's blood pressure this way."
Sam shot his brother another one of his signature blank looks, the kind that told Dean he was teasing his brother just right. "Yeah, thanks guys," she nodded solemnly, still absorbed in stirring her food about aimlessly. The boys were purposeful in gearing up for the cold and the expected darkness of the place they were locating. Zara remained where she was, trying to get some nutrition. She'd downed her hot tea when the boys were finally ready to leave.
Sam leaned down to plant a kiss on her lips. "We'll be back soon," he whispered comfortably.
The wisps of his hair hanging from his forehead painted him as the very picture of love. Zara brushed those strands behind his ear. "Don't miss me too much," she whispered back, pulling him into a deeper kiss. Her fingers brushed against his stubble as their lips embraced again and again. When she decided it was enough, they simply stared into each other's eyes as a final goodbye. "Go get 'em."
When Sam turned back to his brother, Dean was busy noticing the cobwebs on the ceiling. "Find us a good rental DVD, would ya?" Dean requested. "No romcoms."
"Sure thing, captain," she said goodbye with a two-finger farewell. The door shut behind them. She watched as the Impala disappeared from view. Zara took a few breaths. She paced about the room. Her finger tapped against the table. Fifteen minutes passed. Her hand combed through her short, wavy hair. She closed her eyes. Her thoughts went down their familiar path. The yellow brick road to ambition. "It's time."
Wings flapped in her vicinity. "Well good morning to you too. What's a guy gotta do for some small-talk, huh?"
Lucifer held his arms out as he greeted her. Zara stiffened slightly at his presence though reason told her she had no reason to worry. In a second's notice, the temperature of the room dropped, forming condensation on the windows. "Zara," he suddenly used a cold, sombre tone. Her head snapped to face him. The blond Devil had but a narrowed gaze and a strange impression on her keenly-evolved sense of caution.
Her mind raced, second-guessing herself. What could that glare mean? she wondered.
"You've lost weight. Have the Winchesters been feeding you?" his eyebrows knotted as he contemplated the idea.
Oh, she sighed. "Trauma victims don't really eat well," she retorted with a tinge of sass she'd developed from interacting with him for a long time.
"Oh," he gave her a half-upward-nod. "Method acting, I see."
"Also, what are you wearing?" she studied his outfit. A brown leather jacket and loose-fitting denim pants.
"Thought I'd change up my style a bit. Going for that laid-back biker look. What d'you think?" he held his arms up and turned around in a slow circle.
"I think you need a new stylist," Zara blurted out. She couldn't take her eyes off the loose sleeves.
There was a frown of mild annoyance on his face. "Well I kinda like it," he defiantly stated.
"The last time you 'kinda liked' something, you tried to match grey with green," she hesitantly responded with a half-shrug. "Don't get me wrong. I like the idea. Just not digging the execution."
"Hmph," his head bobbed as he considered the criticism, mentally thinking of ways she was wrong. But he knew they both weren't there to argue fashion. "Okay, about this idea you had. You're sure this is important?"
Zara blinked rapidly. "Of- of course it is," she huffed. "They're trying to take you down. They have a spell and everything. Well, not everything. We can't let them get everything."
"Okay, Zara, I get that. It's just… this is kinda small-time. You know how many people are trying to take us down every single day? And you want me to worry about the Oasis brothers? Tell me how this isn't a waste of my time," he impatiently tapped his foot against the floor.
Zara almost forgot to breathe. "How- they have the freakin' angel tablet. It's a How-To manual on how to whammy people like you!" It took all her strength not to yell it loud enough for the neighbours to hear.
"Hey, you ever notice how it says Angel Tablet, not Archangel Tablet? It's a subtle difference, I know, but it is there and it means that you can't get me to care enough about this," he defended, pouting almost like a five-year old. "Dad would never write in anything that could take the Big Five down. That's His job."
"Have you actually read the Angel Tablet?" Zara asked.
"Uh, no, pfft," Lucifer folded his arms, eyes flicking to the ceiling in a brief ennui. "Only the prophet can. And the angel who wrote it. But no one's seen that little twat in years so I wouldn't worry."
"So you don't know what's on the tablet. Yet you're so confident that this isn't gonna hurt you," she pointedly refuted. She stepped toward him with a subconscious confidence and Lucifer angled himself away a little, unwilling to listen to reason but finding himself unable to stop.
"When did you get so naggy?" Lucifer taunted as he rubbed his stubble.
"When did you get so complacent? Oh wait, you've always been this way. Which is how Sam slam-dunked you into the cage the last time, and how Crowley launched you like a torpedo straight to the bottom of the Atlantic. In case you forgot," she ranted, being as careful as she could not to sound snobby.
"You sound more like her by the day," Lucifer sauntered away from her, distracted by the sight of a flannel slung over the spine of a chair.
"No, she would also yell at you for losing the Angel Tablet in the first place," Zara realistically pictured. She realised soon enough, though, how harsh that all sounded. "But that's… besides the point," sigh-interspersed words made it through her lips. "We've worked so hard for so many months. If the Winchesters actually pull this off, they'll have put an end to everything without even knowing it. Isn't that a stupid way to go? And I get that you think… that any spell that might affect an angel isn't going to have an effect on you. But what if they have a powerful… energy source? Something so mighty it could jump even your bones?"
"Really, like what?" he muttered, still lost in thought. His back faced her as he fixated on that unsuspecting navy blue flannel.
"Sophia – she had something called the Eye of Khaos."
"The thing she used to keep all those souls in her purse?"
"Yeah… that," Zara's brows crinkled slightly at the interpretation. "The boys are after it as we speak. I sent them in the wrong direction but it's only a matter of time before they figure out where it really could be. Which is why I need your help right now."
"And how did they come to know about the Eye of Khaos?" Lucifer's question was slow. He wanted every word to completely permeate her ears. Zara knew exactly what that pacing meant.
"That, uh," she stuttered, rubbing her palms together. "It was Castiel's idea. Sophia had shown it to him before so he knew that I must have known something about it. He asked me about it."
"I knew she shouldn't have been throwing in with that rat. Hmph," Lucifer shook his head in disappointment. "And you let them know that you were aware of this object?" Lucifer's eyes scanned the table adjacent to the chair, noting its contents. Empty beer bottles – three of them. Unwashed mugs of caffeine. Pre-loved books.
"I- I couldn't lie about this. They'd suspect something. And if I was a source of information, I could control what they knew and what they didn't. I gave them a half-truth so Cas wouldn't think I was lying," she explained.
"Hm. 'Cas' – that's cute. They give you a nickname too?" he remarked in a suspecting tone. Zara caught onto that immediately. Her head craned slightly to the side in a questioning gaze. She was speechless at first, not knowing what the nature of his suspicion exactly was. What could she reassure him of, if she didn't know what the concern was?
"What are you trying to say?" she questioned.
He shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know," he simply said. "I thought your objective with the Winchesters was to make them do our work. Yet you seem to be doing more damage control than anything."
"Hey, making sure they don't complete that stupid spell is our work," she defended. "And I led them to Crowley's little factory, didn't I? Once we comb through the footage, we'll get another lead for the boys to do pest control for us."
"And where exactly is this footage? Why haven't you sent us a copy?"
"Because you can't just 'send a copy' of so many gigabytes of data, okay? It's troublesome. We have a guy helping us with it anyway. You'll know what we get as soon as we do," she promised.
"That's our intel, Zara. You better have your head screwed on right or I'll have to do it for you," he narrowed his eyes cynically at her. "Don't forget who raised you from death and gave you life."
Her jaw fell in disbelief. There was more disbelief than anything clouding her head in that moment. "Lucifer… of course I- of course I won't forget. Do you- do you doubt my loyalty?" she stammered, eyes contorting with hurt.
"I don't know what to think. You've never gone undercover this long before. Or this deep," his gaze switched back to the objects on the table again, making it look like his eyelids were closed when they were only obscuring the trajectory of his irises. "You've created a convincing fantasy here. You being a reluctant hunter. A victim of destiny. You're a good actress. It takes a lot of commitment to do the role well. But in cases like these, we sometimes let the fantasy consume us…" his fingers traced the flannel on the chair ever so gently. "Sometimes we let it erase the memory of who we are…"
His fingers delicately pinched the fabric of the shirt to pick something up. He held it up to the natural sunlight reflecting into the room from the window. A thin strand of wavy, black hair.
"You've left a mark on Sam. Your hair, your scent on his shirt. But there's a trace of him on you too. Don't let it distract you," he warned.
"That's what you're worried about?" she chuckled like it was the silliest thing. "Please, I've always wanted to play the damsel-in-distress. And Sam is such a bold, handsome knight. He falls for it every time."
Lucifer's lips relented into a curve. That was somewhat of a relief to Zara. Crisis averted. "Then don't over-do it. He might get bored of you," Lucifer advised. Tension seemed to dissipate as her mocking smile left an amused impression on him. "So back to why I'm here. Let's get a move on."
When they arrived at their next destination, they were both overwhelmed by the sheer weight of emotions that hit them both at once. "Feels like it's been ages since I was last here," Zara exhaled. The air was always fresh and smelt like love.
"Well, take a good, long look because we ain't comin' back here again," Lucifer regarded the structure with hands on his hips.
"But… don't you ever want to?"
"Of course I do. Just not alone." There was a brief pause between them. "You know what I mean."
Sophia's House, Illinois – 6 October 2012, 9.55am
Jack was sprawled on his back on the roof. The walls were lined with potted plants for the most part and a gentle fountain in the centre of the roof attracted some birds every now and then. The clouds rolled by above him. He felt their speedy movement though he was tens of kilometres below them. He could almost feel the friction between the hardened water droplets and the air, the crackling electricity building up between them. As much as he tried to distract himself, it didn't work. He felt the atmosphere too well. His insides were the atmosphere, he felt like. His heart was fluttering in a weak attempt to understand all the energy around him. But again, like every time he tried, he was but a powerless spectator to the thrashing of winds and bursting of electricity.
The problem wasn't that he'd just found himself fighting with the sky that day. In fact that had never been the defining feature of the symptoms. The starting point had always been himself. It was always a longing, a craving, an ache for something he'd never had. He always thought he'd coped with it in his own ways. A swarm of memories overcame him and he couldn't help but just close his eyes. It was all… too much. And he was always wrong. He thought time would dull the ache but it never did. The feeling only seemed to grow stronger.
He'd been on his own for a while now. He explored the world himself, he met people himself. He'd dressed himself that day in cargo pants and a long-sleeved grey sweater that comfortably embraced his lean but muscular physique. He combed down his own lengthy hair. And then the feeling had to hit him out of nowhere. The stark emptiness when he looked inside of himself. He'd look around himself in the rundown house in Detroit, where he and some recovering heroin junkies – homeless squatters like him – holed up. This was his dwelling when he wasn't doing his Rockstar things. The leaky roof, the rats that roomed with them, the grimy walls and floor, the stink of lost faith – it was where he felt most himself. But then the feeling came.
That's why he was here. It was supposed to be a cure. But it only made the pain worse. Somehow he still preferred it. Jack curled up into a ball. When his arms felt empty, he could only hold himself. The very thought, however, that nothing changed after all this time, that the feeling would likely haunt him for an eternity – that thought was crushing.
His lips quivered. He pulled his knees closer so that it touched his forehead. Every day he fought against a chest of locked emotions. Some days he lost. He sniffled. A tear defied him and fell down the side of his face. Breathing turned rapid and shallow. Fists clenched. "Make it stop," he muttered to himself with clenched teeth. His chest hurt like every organ was being crushed at once. "Make it stop."
Shutting his eyes tightly, he rolled over to his other side. Thunder erupted. First, in his head. Then the sky. Not that an ordinary passer-by would be able to tell. The scent of rain filled his mouth like a stream would a river. It was all he could taste or feel. A single rain drop fell onto a spot next to him. Unable to stand the plain mockery it seemed to be, Jack sat up and pulled his knees up to his chest. A familiar brown mutt appeared in vision. There was a cool release in his heart.
"Dog," he called its name. The Doberman's sharp ears pricked up at his voice though its eyes were already set on the strange intruder who seemed too familiar. Dog whimpered softly as he approached and nuzzled Jack on the arm. Jack's eyes contorted into upturned ellipses as he gently rubbed the dog behind the ear. He put his arms around its body and held it close as he rubbed its brown fur. This time tears really fell from his eyes, but they weren't from pain. All Jack heard was Dog's steady breathing and that was enough to turn his lips up into a curve. Planting a kiss on the back of Dog's head, he leaned back against the roof wall.
The dense rainclouds seemed to dissipate into less-threatening forms. His muscles eased. But the ache was still there. It never really left him, even after all these years.
Jack felt a tingle. A spike of primordial energy. He wasn't alone.
"Come to make sure I didn't destroy the planet?" he said dryly, voice drained of all energy. His hand lazily petted the dog which was now seated at his side.
The horseman stood before him in a stiff black coat and his long black cane. "You don't actually have that much power," Death answered in his usual, pointed drawl, if that was possible. "But your habits are concerning at times."
Jack huffed. "I'm sorry that I have a habit of feeling emotions," he retorted sarcastically. "Not that you'd relate."
"I wouldn't," Death answered curtly. "You need to be in better control of yourself."
"Think I don't know that? Tell me something I don't already tell myself every single day, Old Man," Jack refused to even look at Death. "Don't you have a long list of people to kill or something?"
Death took a long, hard look at the boy. For all his sharp-mouthness, there was something about him that demanded the highest of the horseman's patience. "I don't do the killing," Death told him. "I just collect what needs taking away."
"So, like a garbage man. You clean up the streets. They must all look like expired food in Walmart aisles to you," Jack posited with a caustic tinge. Death's thin lips curved up on one end – a rare moment for him.
"You'd do well to show some respect to your elders," he advised.
"Respect. I hate that word. It's what people use when they got nothing reasonable to say," Jack scoffed. "Why don't you ask your favourite disciple how well I do with 'respect'? He's dealt with my respect more than anyone," he looked away.
"Rumi did his best to care for you. You should refrain from judgment, considering your own past," Death pointed out.
"I watched people scar themselves in your name and all you can say is that I shouldn't find that… repulsive?" the archangel's face contorted with disgust.
"The forces of this world don't care about what's repulsive, don't you see?" Death posed a question in turn. Jack's face eased in concession. "The living learn to do what it takes to control those forces, be it self-mutilation or just simple rituals. But in your case, I'm often tempted to take more drastic measures."
Monotonously, the archangel replied, "What d'you wanna do? Put me in a cage? Go ahead. See if I care," he threw his hands up. "Make me feel something I haven't already felt. I dare you."
"This fatalism will cost you a lot someday. It's not a threat, not a curse. It's a warning," Death's beady eyes looked at him pointedly.
Jack just took a deep, pained breath in and let it out slowly. "What do you want from me?" he finally mustered the energy to look the horseman in the eye. The swift winds brushed past them in a chorus as a natural pause fell between them. Death walked over to the ledge, standing next to the boy's head, and stared out into the distance. Though nothing could really impress him, he appreciated the landscape before him as an art critic would a painting. That, and the fact that this place was a nexus of all kinds of weird energy and activity was something anyone would find captivating. From the moment Lucifer had chosen this location to build a house, to the moment the Devil's son decided to frequent it before he was even born – the paradox had never been more powerful. And dangerous.
"You walk a fine line, boy," Death finally said. "I don't think you realise how dangerous of a game you're playing."
"I thought we were over this. I get it dude, can't fuck with time travel. Gotcha," his eyebrows raised briefly in a dry gesture. He could just feel the disdain on Death's face as he finished his sentence, even if he wasn't looking at the guy. "Look, I haven't broken any of your rules. That's a first for me! Give me some credit."
"This isn't just about the rules. It's about your attitude regarding all of this. This isn't something you can handle by doing just the bare minimum, which is what you're currently doing," Death reprimanded. Jack rolled his eyes and shifted the position of his head from left to right. "You can't just do what you do, lay back and expect that nothing's going to go wrong."
"Do what I do? You mean find ways to feel less shitty about the way my life turned out? You mean protect the one person I was meant to protect?" Jack argued. He scoffed so hard from how ridiculous it all sounded to him.
"Jack-"
"I don't understand. I'm doing my best to not go insane. Why can't you people see that? I'm really, really trying to move past it all. I finally get a chance at life again. All I want to do is live. All I want is- is, to see Zara again. Because she's the only person who makes all the pain mean something!"
"Luciel," Death used his real name this time. There were only two people in this universe who could call him by his name. It was a limited resource.
The boy huffed and puffed for breath but he quietened down soon enough. "You don't know… what it's been like for me. To feel so much and not be able to do anything about it. To not even exist. To feel like you're not real."
The damp winds caressed the pause between them. Death could tell that his eyes were filling up and his heart was throbbing with who-knows-what kind of intensity. Anyone would think this was the archangel being vulnerable, but those with wisdom knew that it was quite the opposite. It was the spark to set off dynamite, if one wasn't careful. "What I do know is that you carry a burden so great, if only for all of existence to remain intact. I think you know that too, somewhere deep down," Death reminded him.
"Yeah, well, I didn't ask for it. I didn't ask to be born either," Jack muttered as he ran a hand through his hair.
"The hero's journey always begins with a call to action," Death pointed out. "Often, the hero doesn't even want it. But it's how he deals with hardship that shapes his story."
"Believe me, I'm no hero," Jack rebutted.
"There are many who consider you one," Death said, feigning being impressed. Jack didn't miss that inflection in his voice. The horseman glanced down at him with an unwritten smile. Death was about to say something when-
"Alright! You wore me down. Saving the universe is haaard," Jack pulled a hand down his face and got up to his feet. He marched down the stairs, Dog following closely at his heel. When he reached the first floor, Death awaited him by the marble island that separated the cozy little kitchen and the living room. Jack reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer from a half-finished six-pack. As he always did, he used his teeth to pop open the bottle and spit out the cap into the trash bin. Leaning back against the fridge, his gaze levelled off into the distance revealed by the sliding glass doors that led to the side porch. The breeze breached the room through one of the open glass doors, giving the first floor much-needed ventilation. It was only after he took a long sip of his carbonated beverage did he return his attention to the horseman. "I'm listening."
Death regarded him blankly. "You said you wanted to protect Zara," he brought up. "She is a threat to the paradox."
Jack's lips formed a thin, straight line. "Because she's working for my… dad?" he asked. It felt weird – saying 'dad'. "Pfft, I know that."
"Do you? Do you realise that she's loyal to him? That if it came down to you and him…"
"Hey, it's not gonna come down to that," Jack stiffened at the thought. "I would never ask her to choose. That's just low. But… on a side note, I wanted to ask you something," his eyes flickered, hesitant to utter the next sentence though it was too late to redact the opportunity. "Is… Is my father bad? Like, is he evil like everyone says?"
"What is your opinion on the matter?" the Horseman probed in turn.
"I don't know! That's why I'm asking you," Jack shot back defensively. "Read the Bible… great book by the way. Prefer the Old Testament. But I've seen people who've done way worse. Maybe that wouldn't excuse all the bad shit. I mean there is true evil out there. Don't know enough to put him in a box. I don't know!"
"You could always refrain from having an opinion until you know enough," Death dragged, beginning to feel bored. "Unless it matters for what you plan to do now."
"Pfft, no. I'm not bothered," the archangel shrugged like it was no big deal. "I was just curious. Back where I grew up, fathers were not needed to raise children. It was all single mothers everywhere doin' their thing." He snickered. "You won't catch me giving a damn about my dad right now. I am a cement wall and emotion just won't knock it down. Of course… I just want to make sure Zara's okay."
A shaky inhale through his mouth seemed to contradict his words. "You act like you don't care but it frightens you," Death noticed. "You want her to choose you."
"It's not about what I want. It never was," Jack shrugged. He shook his head despondently as he stared at the floor. He took another chug of his beer and finished it. The empty bottle was set on the countertop next to the fridge. "From the moment I saw her in that hospital ward – she was no bigger than my forearm – it stopped being about me. I sang her to sleep that night. And every night, even when she couldn't hear me, until she decided to leave. When I watched over her, it was always about the girl who helped to bring me into this world. It was always about the girl who brought me home." A sardonic chuckle escaped his lips; an untold irony affixed his gaze onto the floor. "You know what it was like watching her grow up? To see her make the same mistakes I did? To keep her from making my worst mistakes? Such a trip…"
"You love her," Death acknowledged.
"More than myself, but that's not saying much," Jack uttered, feeling the weight of every word he'd said. "And I was afraid. Of the paradox. Of finding her again back then, during the apocalypse. I was afraid of screwing things up – like I always do. But I wish I wasn't. It's… it's hard to go on like this. All my days are spent… hating myself." He swallowed a hard lump in his throat. "I wish I could be happy but sometimes it feels like too much to ask." The next few seconds were spent using all his energy to keep it together, even when his arms and knees felt weak. Then, like a sudden realisation hit him, he took a swift inhale. He sputtered a sardonic chuckle. "Why am I telling you this? You don't even care."
"Because you wanted to tell someone." Death could only watch the boy swing on the scale of emotions. "And now that you've unloaded… that, I expect you'll be more level-headed and cautious."
Jack's eyes narrowed cynically as he glared at the horseman, partly in disbelief. "You're just like my other deadbeat dads, you know that?" he asked, not quite wanting an answer.
"I'm not trying to be your father," Death stated.
"Neither were some of them," Jack let out a laugh that eventually slowed into a sigh. When he got over the moment, he simply nodded. "I'll be extra-careful."
"Good," Death blinked, the only indication of compassion. "I'd watch where I keep the beer if I were you."
"Huh?" Jack frowned. Within the arrival of his next thought, which was mainly confusion, the horseman had disappeared from view. Dog shot up immediately, muttering a confused whimper. Jack blamed it on the sudden vanishing act but soon found out that there was something more. The thin green body of a lizard crept into view on the island top. "Adler, what is it?"
The lizard merely clucked as he turned towards the door. Voices. Muffled. There were two of them. Jack gasped as recognition shot through him.
"Feels like it's been ages since I was last here," Zara's voice sounded through the locked front doors. Jack simply froze where he stood.
"Uh…" he stuttered.
"Well, take a good, long look because we ain't comin' back here again," the second voice. He hadn't heard the voice so close to him before.
"But… don't you ever want to?" Zara's feminine voice gave him comfort as always, but it wasn't the time to relish it.
"Of course I do. Just not alone." There was a brief pause between them. "You know what I mean."
"Uh, hide," he whispered hurriedly to himself, practically smacking himself on the side of the head. He dashed out the open glass door to the side porch, obscured from a frontal view of the house. Outside, the duo made it up the stairs to the front porch. Lucifer studied every detail of the double wooden doors which had ornate carvings on the front. His finger had to trace the indentations out of pure appreciation for the craftsmanship it took to prepare the perfect gift. The most perfect gift, it had to be. It was what was left of any warmth Lucifer could have had. He tried not to dwell too much on what it had all become.
"Okay this is gonna sound dumb, but I just noticed that these doors don't have any locks on them," Zara pointed with a finger at the brass knob.
"Yeah, that does sound dumb. Because we don't need any. The house can tell if there are intruders," Lucifer rolled his eyes and talked down to her.
Zara raised an eyebrow at that. "Sounds fake but okay," she just nodded though the whole idea didn't register for her. "Like, how would that even…?"
"Because I designed it that way," Lucifer found that the more he explained the more he had to simplify things to her. It annoyed him but that was just the way it was. "The house has its own consciousness. It basically sustains itself. What, you think Sophia and I were gonna spend our days doing chores?"
"I don't know! How could you expect me to?" Zara shot back defensively.
"I just thought you'd finally realise that you're talking to an all-powerful being," Lucifer scoffed. "You humans are so narrow-minded, you couldn't even conceive of the things we're capable of."
"Not this again," Zara rolled eyes this time. "I get it, okay? Y'all are like, the top of the food chain or whatever. And us humans are small to you. It's not that I don't see it. I just don't need you to keep saying it. I was just curious."
As Jack listened in on their conversation, he became increasingly intrigued, much in the same way Zara was. He thought it weird that Death should stop by mere moments before Zara and his father did. Silly Old Man thought I couldn't hide so quickly. As if I needed him to warn me. And then he remembered what Death said. 'I'd watch where I keep the beer if I were you.' Jack peeked into the house. His empty bottle of beer remained on the kitchen counter. Shit. He dashed back inside to get it. Dog passively watched him move at his inhuman pace. Don't give me away, baby. He petted the brown mutt before deciding to break for it again.
Lucifer let out the deepest sigh. "Alright, I guess that's an excuse." As the archangel twisted the knob, Jack realised he'd forgotten something else. He remained paralysed where he stood, debating if it was necessary.
"Wait," Zara stopped him. Lucifer had barely gotten his wrist past the threshold when her voice begged his attention. Her eyes darted to his feet. "Shoes?"
Lucifer glanced away momentarily before he did a playful single-eye squint. "Sophia's not here," he said. "You're not gonna tell her, are you?"
Zara just looked blank. "Is that a serious question?"
Jack's eyes widened. He quickly reached into the bin next to the island and retrieved the bottle cap. A small detail, but he couldn't bear the thought of it raising any questions. Upon seeing the door slightly ajar, Dog shot up to his feet and emitted a low growling noise. Oh no. Holding the bottle and the cap with a single hand, he picked up the dog with his other and ran out the glass door, closing it just in time with his foot as Lucifer entered through the front.
It was like Lucifer's mind suddenly entered a dark place. The comfy interior was a stark change to what he was used to in Hell, but that had been the whole point. The large blank wall on the left was a canvas he knew she would like painting on. The sofa at the centre faced the front doors so they could just relax indoors with a great view. A kitchen behind the sofa because she liked making potions with the stuff she grew. A large bookshelf to the right for her immediate reads and more bookshelves upstairs for her archives – accompanied with a large table for quick use, of course. And easy access to the side-porch with those glass doors. So much thought he'd put into designing this place. And all he could see was the moment everything came crumbling down. The image of her broken self on the sofa when he came home that one day. How he'd envisioned things so differently when he felt the sweet release from the claustrophobia of the cage.
It was obvious to Zara from the lost look on his face that he was thinking about these things. "Hey, there's something you should see," her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Zara obtained a box from the bottom rack of the bookshelf. Dust flew everywhere as she patted the lid and she couldn't help but cough. When she opened the lid, the two of them were greeted by mementos that made them both smile. "Would ya look at that? Luc's first birthday party. Well, technically he was just born, so it should be zeroth-"
"Okay, quiet," Lucifer shut her up rather teasingly as he looked at the photos. He picked them up one by one and examined them. He was surprised, more than anything, that so many people had shown up. Of course, Sophia was better at having friends. When it came to photos of his son, he always stopped and admired them. Where did you go? Lucifer wondered. Seeing the baby's beautiful smile always made him wonder what could have been. It was always an odd sensation. How could someone just lose a baby? Give it away? It didn't make sense to him. There was a throbbing sensation where his heart rested and he couldn't help but feel things because of what he saw in those photos. I know you're out there somewhere, son. I can feel you. Sometimes it feels like you're right next to me, and I can't even see you.
That was close, Jack thought, heart still racing as he crouched close to the glass door on the side-porch. Ser Adler was poised on his head, equally attentive. He gently dropped the glass bottle somewhere obscure in a bush near the porch, mentally making a note to clear it later. He wanted to do the same for the bottle cap but Dog's nose kept sniffing it curiously as he held it in his hand. That, to him, was a clear sign that the hound might actually try to chew on it, which immediately struck him as a bad idea. And he was right. Dog kept bopping his hand with its nose which turned into a little bit of a fight between them, with Dog trying to win the cap with its teeth and Jack trying to keep that from happening. No, stop that. Dog began again with his low growling voice while Jack was trying to wrestle the cap away with as safe of a force as he could use.
"Aren't you glad I convinced you to bring us here?" Zara beamed at the sight of Lucifer looking at the photos for the first time. It revealed a side of him that no one ever got to see and she was grateful for it. For a single moment, their eyes met and he gave her a genuine smile.
Something thudded. The sound was muffled. Lucifer and Zara both flinched, turning their heads towards the noise. It sounded like it came from outside, but not the way they came in – the side porch. They both exchanged a single, puzzled look and immediately flipped to a more cautious demeanour. Zara reached into her jacket to feel the hilt of her blade and Lucifer approached the sliding glass doors with the quietest footsteps he could make. There was an untold synchrony between them as Lucifer shot her one brief look with a hand rested on the door. The next instant, he slid the door open and sprung out the door onto the side porch. His posture was all Zara had to estimate the situation, but it eased the moment he stepped out so she didn't know what to make of it.
"False alarm," Lucifer told her, taking an extra second just to scan the scene before him. Then his eyes roved down and crinkled at the sight of something. That was when Dog lazily brushed past his legs into the house, tongue hanging out and all.
"Dog! My baby," Zara instantly recognised. She sheathed her sword and rushed to pet him. Dog let out barks of approval as he got his chin scratched. "Hm, you're… cleaner than I would've thought."
It was true – the mutt didn't smell half as bad as he should have. All these months in this place with nothing but food in the garden and mud to play around in, she expected a completely different image. But his fur was clean and his paws weren't so muddy. In any case, all that doubt was overshadowed by the fact that she was ultimately relieved to see him. Deep down she'd always worried about him but the thought that he may not have survived was too painful that she didn't even want to try coming back here to check. That, and all the emotional baggage from being back here.
"Sophia let that thing inside but not shoes?" Lucifer puzzled. "It's a walking ecosystem of bacteria!"
"His name is Dog, by the way, and he's a good dog, Lucifer," Zara defended rather pointedly. "Sophia loved him and so should you."
"We're not taking him back with us," he stated factually. Zara's mouth fell agape to protest but he cut her off, "That thing won't last around demons or hellhounds. You'll thank me."
Let down though she was, Zara couldn't argue with that. After that unexpected reunion, Lucifer looked back at the house with a renewed eye and that was when something seemed a little off to him. "Hey, does this place seem… different to you?" he put his hands on his waist and examined large swathes of things appearing in his vision.
"Different how?" Zara pursued.
"Things not being in their place," his icy blue eyes found several points of interest. "These books are all messed up."
"Last I remember, there were exactly that many books on the shelves. Not that I'd know exactly how many, but it looks about right to me," Zara countered.
"It's not about how many books there are. The order's all wrong. Don't you see it? Sophia always arranges them by age," Lucifer pointed out.
Zara parted reluctantly from petting Dog and observed the bookshelf. She wasn't exactly sure how to tell the age of the books by looking at their spines but she just assumed that there was something about them if Lucifer thought so.
"And these lightbulbs. They look new," he pointed at the chandelier above the sofa now. "Hey, look at all that wine."
He marched off to the kitchen area and stood questioningly before the wall-mounted wooden wine-rack. "Yeah, it's a wine-rack. And it has wine in it. Big surprise," Zara huffed, somewhat amused. She crossed her arms casually as she walked over to the space between the sofa and the front door, just watching him. This was the closest she ever got to seeing Lucifer in a domestic setting so it was entertaining for sure.
"There weren't so many bottles before. And I don't recall Sophia ever being so fond of drinking," he stroked his stubble in contemplation.
"Ha! Well I got news for you, pal. She sure had her tendencies," Zara recalled with a laugh in her voice. But that didn't ease Lucifer's doubts a single bit. He kept his back to her. She passively scanned her surroundings, again focusing on the bookshelf. Then a movement caught her eye. It came from the front door. When her eyes found the familiar figure peeking around the corner they widened into the roundest form possible.
Jack returned her shock expression and waved a risky 'hello' from his position, which included him blowing a kiss into the air.
"Jack?" she mouthed as silently as possible.
"Yeah, me," he mouthed back, nodding once.
"What are you doing here?" Zara jerked to make sure Lucifer didn't notice. No, he was still confused about the wine. But the look on her face could only be described as murderous. She and Jack had an agreement to never tell Lucifer about their friendship and the fact that he was here was alarming for sure. In fact, the worry was so overwhelming that she was afraid Lucifer might hear her heart thumping so fast.
Jack merely made some hand gestures – first, pointing to the wine-rack. Then, to himself. And then he made a slicing gesture at his neck. Zara quickly connected the dots, albeit still shocked.
"You? This was you?" she pointed around herself. "How?"
Jack was about to explain when he instead chose to make a stop-sign hand gesture. His wide eyes were all she saw before she realised what that meant. She spun around just as Lucifer chose to turn towards her again. "Who turned on the power in this house?" Lucifer asked out loud. The way he looked at her, with a genuine question in his eyes, left her mind utterly blank. What was she going to say?
"The power?" was all she managed to mutter.
"Yeah, I can feel the electricity flowing through the wires," he voiced. He then turned his attention to the fridge. He seemed to regard every object as if it were new. Just when he turned, Zara spun back to face the door. There was no one there, but slowly, Jack's head appeared again around the corner.
"Please," he begged silently. "Help."
Again, he retreated swiftly away from sight.
"There's beer in the fridge," Lucifer announced as he turned to her again, voice riddled with surprise he'd never had before. "WHY is there beer in this fridge and HOW did it get here?"
"Uh…" Zara knew she was going to regret what was coming next. "I just remembered, uh…" she let out a sharp chuckle. "It was- it was me."
"You?" The crease lines of a frown painted Lucifer's face.
"Yeah, I- I can't believe I totally forgot," Zara lied. She shrugged and put a palm to her forehead like she was disappointed in herself. "I came here about a month ago. I was in the area so I thought I'd come check up on this place. Like, is it still standing? I didn't know."
Lucifer shifted his weight from one foot to another. "Of course it's still standing! I built this place. You think I'd do sloppy craftsmanship?" he argued.
"No! No, God, no. I- I was just worried. And curious. And I kinda missed this place. So yeah, I crashed here for a while. Guess I musta' forgot to turn the power off. And finish the beer. Yeah…" she clasped her fingers together and maintained a discomforted expression to sell the story.
"You took a break without telling me," Lucifer probed. Without a moment's notice, he flew to appear right before her. She flinched, his imposing figure looming over her. "You are supposed to tell me where you are and what you're doing. At all times."
She took a step back without even realising that she wanted to. "Uh- uhh, I was going to. I guess I just forgot," she smacked herself lightly on the forehead. "This frail human memory, am I right? Doesn't work when you want it to. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
His eyes narrowed dangerously. Zara could see his jaw clench and she could feel its tension in her soul. But she held eye contact because that was the only thing that was going to save her. "Better not," he simply said. "I'm running a tight ship here and I can't have uncertainties."
Zara just nodded. There was nothing she could say to allay the situation.
"So where's the Eye of Khaos?" he used the same sombre tone he had seconds earlier.
"I- I'm not entirely sure. But I know it's gotta be here somewhere. Maybe we should split up? I'll take the first floor and you can take the second," she suggested.
"Of course. You gotta push the more difficult one to me," Lucifer sighed. "The study is a maze to search."
"I'm sure you know how Sophia would think better than I do," Zara reassured him. That seemed to work. He nodded his head passively and made up the stairs adjacent to the kitchen. The biggest sigh erupted from her lungs as she found herself alone in the living room. The sound of the glass door sliding open tugged at her consciousness. A wordless bond pulled Jack closer to Zara. She couldn't help but feel as though they were connected in some way, seeing his tall form approach her then. There were no words to describe it, but she knew it was as real as day and night. "What the hell are you-"
Jack silenced her with a hug, bending down so that her hands could envelop his shoulders and pull him close. Suddenly it felt like he was as light as a cloud, feeling nothing but bliss. He dissolved in her arms like the first snowflake of winter. It was the only thing he could have wanted. Feeling her palm stroke the back of his head. No words spoken between them.
"Jack…" she stopped if only to will the tears away then. Though they pulled away, she maintained a gentle grip on his arms. "You could've gotten yourself killed."
That seemed like the worst thing that could ever happen to Zara. She couldn't imagine that world. She didn't want to. Jack cupped her cheeks with his palms, which were a little large for her head. But she was used to that from Sam. Sam-sized hands – the thought amused her. "I- I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner. I should have," he apologised. They kept their voices low, for obvious reasons.
"How is this even possible? How did you get in the house? It's supposed to be locked," she questioned. Every moment she could look into his hazel eyes seemed like a blessing – a daredevil impulse that seemed wrong but a risk she was willing to die for. She didn't quite understand why the feeling was so strong now when she had so many doubts before, but she didn't even know how to start questioning it. "It's not your house."
"Uh, technically, debatable," he simply said, half-feigning offence. "But I'm not an intruder. In fact, I've been here before."
Zara regarded him with a slight turn of the head. "I don't remember seeing you here," she doubted.
"Sure you do," he lightly patted her upper arm with a smile glistening on his lips and a wink in his eye. "I just- I just come here sometimes, when I need some downtime. Away from people, away from… everything."
"And you couldn't put the books back in the right order," she shook her head in disappointment.
"Hey," he mocked offense with his mouth agape. "How… am I supposed to know that there's an order to these things? I wasn't even expecting visitors. I might have cleaned up a little more if I knew."
She put her hand on her hips and glowered at him with a decidedly befuddled look. "So you walk around like you own the place," she shrugged in askance. "So sorry, should've dropped you a text then!"
"Uh, yeah, you should have," he rebutted in a similarly caustic tone. "That would have been helpful, thank you very much. I'm running a tight ship here."
His mockery of his own father's tone cracked Zara up a little bit, which Jack mirrored with a playful chuckle of his own.
"But no seriously, I'd appreciate if you let me know next time in advance," he said a little more solemnly.
"I mean, it's not like you told me that you were squatting here," Zara rebutted.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry 'bout that," Jack nodded to brush away the criticism.
"Any more surprises I should know about?"
"We'll see."
"Jack…"
"Hey! It's not like I can predict the future. But we'll work it out, I'm sure," he reassured her with a confident glint in his eye. "Also, what is he wearing?"
"I know right," she chuckled in agreement.
"Whoever picked that jacket and those jeans needs eternal torture asap," Jack advised. "Jeez."
Time was ticking. They didn't have a clock hanging around but it was like Zara could feel it in her veins. Maybe it was the erratic racing of her heart. Compared to that, the gentleness in his light-coloured eyes was like a slow, steady river. Time meant everything but in that moment, she ignored its call to whisper slowly, "How are you so… calm? Doesn't any of this scare you?"
"Well…" he glanced away momentarily before meeting her gaze again. "Mostly, it's the sweet kush, but I'm not supposed to say that. And don't get any ideas – I don't want to encourage you," he wagged a finger at her commandingly. Zara bit her lip to stop from bursting out in laughter. "Buuut if I've learnt anything, it's that you can't control where the tide leads you even if you are the water. Just ride the wave and it'll be alright. Also watch out for sharks. And don't hit your head on the rocks. Don't drown, either. Cuz that's bad. Pretty bad. Yeah."
Her lips curved in an 'o', not one of understanding but of bewilderment. "I… I don't understand what you're saying," she stuttered.
"Don't think too much. I don't," he shook his head again and shot her that goofy grin again. He pulled her into another one of his deep hugs, though he knew she was short of time. Before he pulled away, he leaned close and whispered into her ear, "The Eye of Khaos is in the closet, by the way. In a safe behind the velvet dress."
Zara's eyes widened in shock. "Oh my God, you're right," a flash of remembrance shot through her instantly. "How did you know that? Wait- don't answer. I… don't wanna know."
"It's probably best that way," Jack agreed. With a single pat to her upper arm, he exited through the glass door. Ser Adler appeared to him on the exterior wall of the house and the two were reunited, with Adler assuming his rightful place on Jack's shoulder. The sun's warm rays peeked through the clouds for once and caressed his silhouette. He waved one last goodbye and walked off the porch, disappearing from the view revealed by the glass doors.
The very visage of his friendly goodbye lingered on her, like a footprint left on sand. She couldn't help but saunter over to the doors, bare fingers caressing the door frame as she looked around the corner. Even though she knew he must have flown away, her heart still held onto the hope that he was nearby, somewhere. The thought that he must have watched over her for her entire existence, though alarming at first, now felt more palatable – comforting, even. The only sanctuary in the history of her life. Zara's lips curved into at the emptiness of the air before her. It was the first genuine smile she had in ages.
She closed the glass doors.
A/N: Thank you guys for the continuing support for this fic. I really promise I have not forgotten about it. In fact I've had a new stroke of creativity and hopefully this summer break I will be productive in writing more. If there's anything I wanna do before I die, it's finish this story. I love reading your reviews and DMs so don't hesitate to leave your thoughts!
