The Truth Beneath the Rose


A/N- Hello everyone and welcome back to my story. I hope you all are enjoying the story thus far.

Disclaimer- I do not own the Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, but I do own my OC's and this storyline.

'Thoughts'

Khuzdul

Now onto the story.

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Chapter 5:

Into the Wilds


Year 2941 -Midmorning-

On the great east road

Her rear was starting to ache. Although she'd shared a pony with Thorin at the beginning of this adventure, the last few days she'd shared with almost all of the company. Including Gandalf.

Thorin was avoiding her.

At least, while he was awake he was. Almost every night he would toss and turn, having nightmares. She would find herself sneaking over to comfort him, being as silent as she could to not be caught. Singing to him while stroking his hair seemed to be the only way to calm him.

Every time it happened her heart would clench and she found herself wishing she could just tell him whom she'd been and have him believe her. Thalia supposed that was the true reason she hadn't tried to speak with him about everything, she was afraid he would call her a liar and cast her out from the company.

Sighing for what seemed the hundredth time that day, Thalia shivered at the rain that had been falling constantly for the last couple of hours. "Are you alright Lass?" The sudden voice had her jerking to attention. "Hmm? Oh, sorry Bofur. I was woolgathering there. I am fine, just cold from this rain. Quite the deluge isn't it?"

He smiled at her even as he turned to face foreword again. She was behind him at the moment. "Aye lass, but at least tis only rain. Could be a whole lot worse." Laughing at that she looked a head at where Thorin was and stilled. He was looking back at her, their eyes met for a brief wonderful moment before he turned away.

Sighing once more Thalia began to hum absentmindedly, unable to think of anything else to do at the moment. Bofur being the wonderful person he is joined in, after all it was a familiar tune to all the company. One that all dwarrow learn at an early age. Dayamu Khuzan, a song that the parents would teach as a lesson, for all good Dwarrow needed to know the blessings granted them by Mahal. Before long the entire company was humming along with her and it made their traveling quite pleasant.

It soon became clear that the rain wasn't about to let up anytime soon and some of the company began to complain and bother Gandalf about stopping it. This prompted a rather interesting question from Bilbo. "Are there any? Any more wizards like you?"

Gandalf seemed amused by his question. "Yes in fact there are five of us. Once there were many more." He hummed for a moment before he slew his mount until he was riding next to Bilbo, "let's see there is Saruman the white, Radagast the brown. Now the last two I can never recall their names, they are the two blue wizards."

"I bet they are a lot like you Gandalf, meddling in the lives of those around them." Gandalf turned towards Thalia at her words with an amused light to his eyes. "They are each quite different from me, each of us took our own path. Besides, meddling as you call it comes with the job."

Thalia felt laughter burbling up in her throat once more but held back, instead she settled for a soft smile at the wizard. He tapped her cheek with his finger before he rode ahead once more. Thalia shared a look with her brother before she noticed the rain had started to let up a tad.

Maybe they would be seeing the last of it soon enough. When the sun began to set and wind began to turn cold. The rain had all but stopped, they had climbed a rather large ridge and seeing a nice alcove looking over the valley they were about to cross into, Thorin called everyone to a halt. "We shall camp here for the night. Bombur get a fire going. Ori and Nori, fetch some firewood."

With that everyone pulled their ponies to a stop and began to dismount. After Bofur gave her a hand down, Thalia moved over to help Bombur begin the nights meal. They had decided on cooking what meat they had left and when looking at their supplies Thalia saw they were already running low.

Making a decision at that, Thalia grabbed her sword and bow and arrows. She then looked around and sighting whom she'd been looking for she called out to him. "Kili! Grab your bow, let's go hunting. You said you wanted to see my skills with a bow, here's your chance." The younger dwarrow lit up at that before he hurried to grab up his sword, bow and arrows. He then ran over to her and as they left, Thalia leveled a look at Thorin.

He'd been watching the whole interlude with a raised brow. She raised one of her own as she passed by him and he seemed amused by this. "Do not stray too far." She smiled when she heard his voice, barely audible. It was clear he didn't wish Kili or the other's to hear, which made her wonder if that was part of what was bothering him. Too many eyes and the image he was trying to uphold.

She promised herself she would find out when she returned to camp. She'd had just about enough of Thorin avoiding her. The trip proved more than successful and they returned with several rabbits, large foul, and one wild boar. Bombur and Bofur hurried over to relieve them of their burdens and Thalia found it hard to not want to slap Kili upside the head.

He had a large smile on his lips from having the majority of the kills, but it was also because she had shown him another way of shooting lower to the ground prey. Something he'd picked up quickly and mastered almost immediately. He was very proud of himself and wasn't letting anything stop him from expressing it.

Thalia watched him with fondness in her eyes as he moved about trying to get the other's to check out his kills and skills. He reminded her of a child trying to get praise from their parents, but she still found it adorable.

"I see the hunt was successful." Thalia felt a shiver down her back as she heard Thorin's voice, he was behind her. Smiling she turned just enough to give him a sideways glance, "as was your nephew. Although I am tempted to give him a good swat for gloating so much."

Thorin's eye brows rose at this and Thalia took that moment to face him fully. "Why have you been avoiding me?" He looked surprised for a moment before his expression turned stony and she knew he was going to try and avoid a direct answer. Deciding to nip such a thing in the bud, Thalia raised her hand to keep Thorin from responding.

She then motioned for him to follow her and after what seemed a long moment of silent decision, he did so. Once she was sure they were far enough away from the camp to be out of sight but still able to hear the goings on, she turned to face Thorin and seeing the look upon his face she spoke first. She only hoped he would listen well.

"Before you speak, I want it understood that I am not going anywhere. No matter the path we take on this journey, or what danger lies in wait, I will remain at your side Thorin. Nothing will prevent me from doing so, nothing." She then crossed her arms and waited to see how he would respond.

Thorin looked confused and several thoughts were crossing his mind before he uttered the only one he could think of to encompass them all, "why?"

Closing her eyes Thalia took a deep breath and reached out to cup his cheeks with both her hands, she had made a choice now she had to follow through. "Because I care about you Thorin Oakenshield. We are more connected than you know and if I ever find the words, I will tell you why. I am confused by what is happening between us as well, but I will not deny that it is there and that it is real."

She felt her cheeks heat as his eyes focused more upon her and she hurried to finish voicing her thoughts before he distracted her. "I wouldn't have it any other way either. I feel...complete Thorin. Here with the others, with you. I am meant to be here and here, at your side, I will stay come what may."

Feeling emboldened by her own words and the heated look Thorin was giving her, Thalia hooked her fingers behind Thorin's ears and pulled his head down. Before he could stop her she pressed her lips to his, pulling him as close as she possibly could even as she poured her whole heart into the kiss. It didn't take long for Thorin to respond and respond he did.

She felt his arms lock about her waist as he lifted her up and pulled her against him. His lips were almost frantic and the force behind them was bruising, but Thalia reveled in it. After going so long without a word, let alone a touch, she would take what she could while she could.

She wasn't stupid, she knew even though she'd all but admitted her love for him, Thorin wasn't going to just drop his reservations. They still had too much between them and those doubts and unknowns would prevent any true settlement of their relationship.

While Thalia was coming to terms with what she thought would be the state of things, Thorin was desperately fighting his warring thoughts. One side wanted to end this now, he'd already loved once and couldn't go through all that once more. The other was reveling in the feelings flowing through him. The possibilities presented a second chance at love.

He pulled the hobbit closer, breathing in her scent and warmth. His heart was beating so fast, his entire form pulsing with desire for the small woman in his arms. So full of life, so beautiful. She was offering him something precious, something far more valuable than gold.

She hadn't said the exact words, but her actions and the words she had spoken, they echoed in his mind and heart. She loved him. He knew this without a doubt. Why else would she remain here, why else would she be trying to pierce the heavily built walls surrounding his heart?

He was at a crossroads once more. He'd experienced several in his long life, but none had ever presented such a quandary for him before.

When he had to choose a new home for his people the choice had been easy, simple even. As had choosing to work to keep his people fed and clothed. Then there was the choice of the very quest upon which they now journeyed, as he'd said to Balin all those days ago. There hadn't been a choice really, not for him. His fate, his very existence was tied with that of Erebor.

Now here he was on the cusp of yet another choice. Did he crush this wonderful woman's heart or should he risk his own once more on a chance for something deeper. Of a life not lived alone?

Breaking away from Thalia's tempting lips, Thorin lifted a hand and cupped her face. He kept his eyes locked to her grey ones, like smoke they were. Her eyes. He felt a shudder pass through his whole body when he realized something he'd only been guessing at.

He knew now that Thalia's eyes weren't just similar to Rhean's; they were the exact same eyes. Eyes he'd stared into for many years, eyes he'd seen so much from. Eyes which reflected the soul within.

A sharp pain flared through him, centering from his chest right above his heart. A pain that seemed common around this woman and he knew he must discover what this meant. Thalia had said she knew more about this but was unable to put it to words. He knew that this pain had to be tied to it somehow.

Feeling her shift against him, Thorin closed his eyes for a brief moment. He knew what his choice was and he would accept the consequences. Good or bad, he knew he had to give this a chance.

Having made up his mind, Thorin opened his eyes and let a smile cross his lips. His words died on his tongue though when a sudden screech broke the silence of the camp.

This was when he heard the teasing remarks of his nephew's to Bilbo and scowled. The moment broken, Thorin released Thalia without a word and stomped back into camp, going right over to where Kili and Fili sat laughing at Bilbo's fearful expression.

"You two think a night raid by Orcs is funny do you?" Thorin's voice was grave and Thalia glared at the two princes at his side, having followed him back. "We...we didn't mean anything by it Uncle." Kili's soft explanation brought a slight twinge of sympathy from Thalia but she squashed it, they had no right to tease her brother thus. Especially not about something so dangerous.

"You know nothing of the world," Thorin growled this last part before he stomped off to the cliff edge. Thalia watched him go, knowing her chance had come and gone. He wouldn't speak with her again today, his body language said as much.

Turning to look at the two Durin boys, she shook her head. "You two should know better." "Aye, the lass is right. But do not take it to heart; Thorin has far more reason to hate Orcs than any of us here." Thalia turned to see Balin as he approached his eyes soft and understanding. She couldn't help but smile at him in response.

So began the tale of the battle of Azanulbizar and Thalia found herself almost remembering the events of which Balin spoke. That was until he mentioned a name that had her clutching at her chest, the pain pulsating forth from her mark. She realized in a flash that this story was hers as well, that she was truly remembering that battle and the sorrow it brought forth.

Sitting down she remained gravely silent as Balin described the battle's aftermath. Her brother glanced at her briefly before he spoke up, his curiosity getting the better of him. "Wait, so not only did Thorin loose his grandfather, but his love as well? How could he continue to fight so?"

Balin smiled sadly Bilbo, "Lad, he did not know of the fair Rhean's death yet. He believed her safe at her brother's side. Defeating Azog was forefront in his mind." Bilbo seemed to think this over before speaking once more, "Is he dead? This Azog?" Balin seemed unsure of the answer and Thalia shuddered, for she felt she knew the truth.

"That filth is dead; his wounds stole his life many years ago." Thorin's voice sounded close over Thalia's shoulder but she dare not turn around. The pain from Balin's retelling and the memories, all were too fresh and raw in her mind. She would need time to straighten out herself, both the past and the present.

Thorin's words seemed to have called an end to the evening and soon the fire was out and the whole of camp lay in varying stages of sleep, save Fili and Kili whom had been given first and second watch as punishment.

Finding herself unable to sleep, Thalia looked around the camp and sighting Gandalf, she made her way silently over to his side. She sat down quietly next to him and waited, "what is it Thalia? What troubles you?" She sighed in relief, glad he'd opened the conversation.

"It was the story Balin told. I...I know that story Gandalf, I know it well. I was there, I could see it happening. It's just, I don't know. I am finding it hard to think of myself as her, when I know I was and am. I am just so confused Gandalf. Will I ever figure out how to merge both that life and this one? Will I have to choose one over the other someday?" She was panting lightly at the end, having rushed through her thoughts, almost like they were flying from her lips.

Gandalf looked sad for a brief moment before he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling her closer and into his warmth. "I cannot say for sure what is the better choice, if any. But I will say that which I told you in the shire. There are far wiser minds than mine and we may yet encounter such minds. All I can say to you now is that you must always follow your heart; it will never lead you astray. So do not fear my dear, your answers lay here."

He then placed his palm over her heart and Thalia just smiled, once again Gandalf was living up to his calling as a wizard, by being vague and not giving her a complete answer. But it would have to be enough and she knew he was right; her heart was her best guide. She thanked him with a bow and returned to her sleeping spot, her brother had rolled a little onto it but she didn't mind.

As she lay down once more she kept her ears open in case Thorin had a nightmare once again that night. To her great surprise she slept the night through, not hearing and calls of distress from Thorin. She did her best not to feel disappointed as she gathered her things and moved once more to help with the meal.

They broke camp quickly afterwards and began the journey once more, this time they traveled a good length of the day before the company saw a pile of ruins up ahead. Once they were close enough they saw that it was what remained of a small farmstead, but from all the signs she could read Thalia knew that whatever had happened to this place, it wasn't good.


A/N- I hope I explained both Thorin and Thalia's quandary alright.

Here is the Dwarven term this time-

Dayamu Khuzan- Blessings of the ancestors

May the Fluff be with you!

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