"Joker what are you doing here? I'm surprised they let you in here after last time," said Two Face humorously.

"It's not my fault that Happy Feet couldn't handle a joke. I gave him a lovely white dinner jacket that he didn't refuse."

"That's because he hadn't realized that the coat was made out of rare Antarctic albino penguins," said Two Face nonchalantly.

"Well Pengers and I sorted it out and I agreed not to burn this lounge to the ground," Jay chuckled. Harley found the appearance of Mr. Dent to be a little unsettling. The burns on his right side made her want to gag a little. It's ironic due to her being in love with a man who has the looks of a clown but he was her clown and nobody else. "Oh where are my manners, Harvey this is my special girl, meet the clown princess of crime Harley Quinn." Harley reached her hand out to greet the disfigured man.

"Hello Mr. Dent it's a pleasure to meet you…" she was cut off by the burnt individual.

"Please Mr. Dent was my father's name, call me Two Face," Harvey shook Harley's hand. "Now this is funny."

"What is?" Harley said curiously.

"I had no idea Jay had female companions."

"I'm Mistah J's only woman. Is that puddin?"

"Of course sweets you know I only want you."

"Aww Mistah J."

"It's nice to see a happy couple in this bachelor cesspool. I'm here with Pamela for our date night."

"Ohh how lovely," said Harley. "Who's Pamela?"

Joker and Two Face both answered in unison, "Botanical fanatic."

"Huh descriptive."

"Yeah she's something," said Two Face smirking. "I'll go get her, she's probably at the bar bickering about men."

With Harvey leaving the two the waiter appears with the truffle fries. Placing them in front of Harley her mouth waters.

"Um can I have some ketchup."

"Of course miss, I'll be back." The waiter leaves and Joker remarks, "That's what the terminator said and look what happened." Harley chuckled.

"You're so funny Mistah J."

"I try," he gave her a wink to which she blushed a rosy pink hue. She was enjoying the dinner and it the main courses haven't even arrived.

"Your ketchup miss." The waiter's voice broke Harley's trance.

"Thanks."

"Your welcome, both of your main courses will be ready shortly." Leaving again, Joker stands up.

"I gotta make a phone call sweets."

"But baby, the food will be here shortly," Harley said with a whiny tone.

"Don't worry pooh," He went to Harley and kissed her on the lips fully. "This will be quick, I'll be back pumpkin."

"Okay daddy." She smiled as he left the private room. Thinking of her puddin made her smile even wider. Grabbing the merlot she pours herself a generous glass and started chugging it rapidly. Time was flying when during her intoxication. She started playing with the truffle fries and poured the ketchup over them like blood. There was commentary to the bloodshed.

"Nuuuuuu not the fries." At the center of the table there was a couple salt packets. Grabbing them she scattered the salt over the dead truffle bodies.

"I guess their feeling salty," giggled Harley.

"Ouuu whatever's in that bottle I want some," said Joker as he arrived to their room.

"PUUDDIIIN." Jumping out of her chair to hug her clown.

"Well honey you're drunk." Joker grinned madly.

"Why aren't you."

"Because one of us has to have our inhibitions at normal range."

"Okay Mistah J."

"Don't worry beautiful, you know what this means?"

"What?" Joker leans in and whispers in her ear.

"I have to tuck my little Harley in bed tonight." Harley's eyes gaped wide.

"Yayyyyy," screaming like a little girl almost deafening Jay.

The Joker places her in the chair. She starts eating the fries and she moans from the dish. "Ugh puddin this dish is soooo good."

"I see those fries are giving you a foodgasm. The main course I can only imagine. Tonight dessert will be on the house sweets." He leaned kissing her neck tenderly. She was getting turned on instantly, he could always get her wet.

"Ah puddin you just got Niagara Falls running."

"Excellent." The kissing went on even after the waiter placed their main courses on the table. The plate of penne was intoxicating to her taste buds, she didn't see what her puddin ordered. Her mouth was watering for some sustenance in her stomach.

"Puddin dinner is here."

"Yes yes just three more kisses," Joker pecking her lips, "Mwah, mwah, mwah."

He sat back down in his chair they begun their meals but Harley looked at the dish, but it wasn't a dish it was a white box.

"Ugh Mistah J?"

"Yes pooh."

"What's in the box?"

"I'll show you," he opened the box to show her. She was surprised to see what he ordered. A smaller red box with a gold smile in the center of it.

"McDonalds?"

"No, a happy meal," he chuckled to which Harley joined.

"You're a goof Mistah J."

"True, true." Jay took out a double cheese burger with a small fry. He took out the toy and what do you know, it was a Joker action figure.

"It's about time they made a kid's toy in my image, I'm a role model to all the boys and girls hahaha."

"Ouu can I keep it puddin."

"Sure, here you go pumpkin," handing it to her. "Want a fry?"

"Yes sweetie," her loving clown feed her a fry seductively, sticking the fry in her mouth with his index finger. She was adoring his compassion towards her and never get enough.

"How's it taste."

"Lovely," She then takes a bit out of her penne rustica and smiled. There was a satisfaction to the taste of the cream sauce. The pork and chicken worked exquisitely together.

"Want a bite puddin?"

"Sure beautiful." She pressed her fork into the noodles catching the sauce with the prosciutto bits. She feeds him seductively, swirling his tongue around her fork. He winked at her making her blush.

"How's it taste daddy?"

"First class," she giggled from his response. The two were enjoying their first dinner date and the moment was perfect. As time passed they ate, they drank, they joked, they laughed. After their main course was finished, the waiter came by, "Are you ready for dessert sir and miss?"

"Well I have dessert covered," he winked at Harley to which she giggled overly (she's plastered), "But I would die for a slice of belgian tiramisu heavy on the rum my good man." The waiter wrote the request in his notepad, "And miss?"

"Hmmm lemmme seeee," skimming through the dessert menu like a bat out of hell. "Ah okay, a New York style cheesecake with a cherry drizzle no I want that bastard soaked," she handed the waiter a piece of penne.

"Okay wise choices the both of you, It will be ready soon." The waiter left with the expression of holy shit.

An extra presence appeared from the curtains. It was Harvey again but with his date.

"Hello, you two look like you're both having a swell time." Harvey said smirkingly.

"Yeah Harv we're both intoxicated," Joker giggled. "Harley is fully loaded with Merlot and Yellow Tail. Giggling like a schoolgirl."

"Daaam straight Puddddiin." she burped multiple times after her response.

Harvey not knowing how to respond to that. "Okay, well here's my special lady: Pamela Isley."

Pam a little peeved from how he titled her.

"It's Poison Ivy now." Harley gave a ditzy response.

"Did you say Poison Oaky?"

"POISON IVY." Her face as red as blood

"Geez sorry, your face makes me want to call you red now."

"Ohh were gonna get along I can tell." Pam said sarcastically.

Harvey interrupted, "So that was a good little chat. Pam had more schnapps than she can handle and she's a mean drunk."

"Hey I'm right here."

"I know."

"Pammie and Harv, as much as I enjoy these moments I need to take my little Harlequin home to have some dessert." Harley happy and jumping out of her seat.

"Yayyyyyy."

"See what I mean guys," Joker standing up out of his chair. Picking up his Princess of Crime he heads out of the private room, "I'll give you two a call later, give Pengers my best."

As the lovely couple was heading out the door, Joker paid the waiter in the lobby and gave them their desserts to go. Exiting out of the Iceberg Lounge the Joker plopped Harley on her feet then walked her to the parking lot. Harley was confused

"Puddin?"

"Yes pumpkin."

"Where is Vincy with our ride?"

"Well I was in the mood to take you to our home myself." His answer struck Harley with those two words.

"Our home?"

"Indeed my love." She jumped in his arms and spread kisses all over his chalk white face.

"OUUU MISTAH J." She started tearing up but Jay held her tighter.

"Shhh honey let's go home."

"Yes puddin. So where's the car?"

"Over here." Joker took out his phone and clicked on an app that started a car near them. Harley was dumbstruck by the car.

"Woah."

"Oh yeah." He had a smirk forming.

"What do you call it Mistah J?"

"Purple Lamborghini."

...