"Oh, Mother," lamented Amanda, "I can't believe that we've come to this. Think about the way that we've just been speaking to each other…this isn't us. You raised me to behave better than this and together we've held the boys to a higher standard of conduct. We just sounded like characters in a poorly written T.V. drama."
She flattened the grocery bag that Dotty had discarded and nervously smoothed imaginary wrinkles from it.
"You're right," the older woman acknowledged. She took the bag, folded it and stowed it in an under the counter cabinet.
Despite their temporarily strained relationship, they didn't hesitate to work together to put the groceries away. When the task was completed, Amanda turned to Dotty and asked, "Can we please sit down and start our conversation over again?"
"Yes, I'd like that but…" Dotty's voice trailed off and she looked at her daughter hesitantly.
"But what," Amanda queried in a tone of voice intended to keep their conversation moving in a conciliatory direction.
"May I suggest some ground rules before we start?"
"Sure, what are they," Amanda replied as they both walked to the kitchen table, although neither of them sat down.
"We speak frankly. No topics are out of bounds." Amanda blanched slightly, but said nothing, so Dotty continued on, "We can ask each other anything-"
"Umm." The brunette idly ran her hand along the top of the chair back that stood before her.
"Wait, let me finish, we can either choose to answer honestly or we can refuse to answer, but lying isn't an option."
"That sounds reasonable to me," Amanda responded. She pulled out her chair and sat down. "Let's start over from when you first walked in. I shouldn't have pounced on you the way that I did."
"Than why did you," Dotty questioned while seating herself opposite her daughter.
"I've been worried about you and the boys since Lee phoned me in Boston last night. He told me that I needed to come straight home as soon as my flight landed. Naturally, I assumed that something was very wrong here, but Lee insisted that you just needed to talk to me. I wish that he'd-"
"Warned you about what the topic of conversation would be. In my son-in-law's-" Dotty paused, cocked her head slightly to the right and then continued on with great relish, "-oh, I do like the sound of that-in his defense, he has no idea how much I know about the two of you."
The newlywed wasn't surprised by her mother's fondness for Lee, yet she hadn't realized just how comfortable the two had become with each other. As hard as she tried, Amanda couldn't fathom what had prompted her husband's late night call to her if he was unaware of Dotty's suspicions.
I can't dwell on that now. I've just agreed to let Mother ask me anything that she wants to and I have no idea how many of our secrets she may have an inkling about.
Dotty was looking at her intently, although she didn't appear as angry as she had earlier. As the carefully erected wall that she'd built between her two lives continued to crumble, a voice from an Agency training tape sounded in her head.
'If you find yourself under fire, and retreat isn't an option, keep moving forward…'
That advice has served me well in the field so I might as well go with it now.
"Why did Lee make my talking to you as soon as possible such a priority?"
The agent posed the question in an attempt to draw information from Dotty.
"Lee stopped by the house yesterday afternoon and he got caught in the middle of a minor family meltdown."
"He's seen Phillip and Jamie squabble before," Amanda interjected.
"I'm afraid that their argument was the least of what he got caught up in," Dotty informed her daughter. The worry lines around her eyes deepened, as she continued, "Phillip was stressed out-"
"Phillip, stressed out?" Amanda interrupted again, "He doesn't let anything faze him," she asserted confidently.
"You're wrong, he is troubled, and he's gotten to be very good at hiding it most of the time," the concerned grandmother stated.
"I know that he's at a difficult age. He's not a little kid anymore yet he's far from being all grownup. But all kids go through that phase," Amanda insisted calmly.
Dotty had come to believe that she knows her grandsons better than their own parents do. However, in order to maintain family harmony she'd never shared this view with her daughter or Joe, but she decided that for Phillip's sake she would have to speak up.
"In less than a year, Joe announced that he plans to remarry and you introduced Lee to the boys. Phillip idolizes him, but lately you've been sending very mixed signals about your future with him. First you encouraged the boys to treat Lee like family and now that they've both bonded with him, you give the appearance of being in no hurry to marry him. Phillip isn't sure which of the adults in his life he can truly count on."
Having said her peace, Dotty leaned back in her seat, yielding the floor to a now defensive Amanda.
"He's always been able to rely on me," she countered.
"He did rely on you until you went on a vacation that you almost didn't return from. Both boys were so glad to have you back home with them after such a close call. But as soon as you recuperated, you became almost as wrapped up in your career as Joe has always been in his."
"That's not true", Amanda argued. Yes, I put in a lot of hours, but I'm not nearly as bad as Joe is…am I?"
"Isn't it,' Dotty challenged. "Granted you didn't move halfway around the globe but you do work ridiculously long and totally unpredictable hours. You go on open-ended business trips at the drop of a hat. If I weren't here-"
"Is that what's bothering you? I thought that you enjoyed caring for the boys," Amanda cut in.
"I love being here for them," Dotty asserted emphatically, "but I resent being taken for granted and mislead by you." Her voice rose and her hands began to gesture in cadence with her words. "Yesterday afternoon I found myself telling that to Lee. Phillip had said some things to me that he shouldn't have and Lee intervened. By the time that the boys had gone upstairs, I was fairly worked up, too. That sweet husband of yours was being so supportive, and I was close to the end of my rope, and I found myself talking to him about some of the feelings that I've been keeping bottled up inside for far too long."
"Mother, I'm sorry that I've made you feel that way." With contrition written on her face, Amanda continued to try to make amends. "I don't show my appreciation often enough. Lee and I couldn't possibly be as comfortable doing what we do if I wasn't confident that you take great care of Phillip and Jamie when I'm not here."
"So in my own small way, am I'm aiding in the battle for truth, justice and the American way," Dotty asked playfully.
"Mother, are you fishing again?"
"No, Dear, there's no need for that because I accidentally saw Lee show his badge to a sheriff's deputy while we were in Las Palmas. Later, I heard someone else address him as Agent Stetson. None of us were in any state for me to demand an explanation then…and afterwards I just kept hoping that you would want to share your new life with me. Considering your fascination with spy novels I shouldn't be surprised that you married some kind of secret agent. What I find more difficult to wrap my mind around is that you've become one yourself. Would you care to explain what possessed you to do something so crazy…and then keep it a secret?"
To be continued...
Author's note:
In the next chapter, Amanda will reveal some things to her mother, and then it will be Dotty's turn to share a secret or two.
Thanks to all the readers who've responded to this story enthusiastically !
