Hi everyone,
I hope you've had a great start on your week. I'm so glad that so many of you have found this storyline interesting. It had been playing in my head for quite a while and I'm glad that I finally put it into words.
So I have to tell you something. This platform might not be the place for it, but I don't have that many platforms to say what needs to be said. So if anyone gets bothered by this news, I apologize in advance. But the truth is, the world is entering a very dark era and it is up to every single one of us to speak out.
Just yesterday, a young woman died in Iran after setting herself on fire. Why you ask?
Well, you see, in Iran, women aren't allowed to enter stadiums to watch men's football (soccer). This young woman had disguised herself as a man, got caught and was sentenced to 6 months in prison. In protest, she set herself on fire in front of the supreme court and sadly, she died of her injuries last night.
I can't begin to tell you how devastating this news is to me. I'd never been a football fan (though my husband is one of those crazy-ass fans). But to know that a soul has departed this world because of a barbaric, unfair and downright inhumane law, that goes against women's rights, sets me on fire; not the kind that she set herself on and died.
So I am dedicating this chapter to her, the Blue Girl (blue is the color of her favorite team).
I am also asking you to use any platforms you have to dedicate a blue heart emoji to her. She died because of a bunch of power thirst monsters that call themselves politicians and have made the rest of us observers. She died because of cowards like me because if I hadn't been one, I would've stayed in Iran, showed my middle finger to Iran's supreme leader enough times to land me in a jail cell with my sisters.
I'm sorry, I have so many different emotions right now.
I hope you find some solace in this chapter as I did.
Thank you as always to my amazing readers. Especially those of you who spend time to write me a review.
DarkendHrt101: Thank you for your "hook":) I hope you like this chapter.
SailorGuardian314: I think this chapter might clear some questions for you. Let me know what you think:)
moonwrite: Here ya go. Some more bantering from our favorite couple:)
phillynz: I know right? Mamoru can be super mean sometimes!
Oloferne: Wow. Those two sentences just made my day:) Thank you so much for your continous support.
Xo: Here's some more my friend:)
SaturnnFoxx: Wink wink. I'm glad you like it:)
Zanahana: I hope you stick around until the end. Enjoy.
Guest 1: Thank you so much for giving me the idea about Hiro. This one is for you my dear:) (I love Hiro myself. He's my own creation after all:)) )
Guest 2: Usagi can never be a weakling little girl. It's not in her DNA:) I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Enjoy everyone.
Golak.
Ayane's knocks had always been gentle.
Two small knocks, a pause, then a third, "for good measure", she always said.
Mamoru had found a strange kind of comfort in those knocks. The first knock would sharpen his ears, the second made his heartbeat faster; he'd be at the door by the third one.
He opened the door with a smile, the one she used to call fake when they had first started going out.
"It just doesn't seem sincere," she'd said innocently.
They'd gone horseback riding, Ayane's most favorite activity in the world, and as they'd saddled up their horses, Mamoru had given her a smile.
"What do you mean is not sincere? How does a sincere smile look like?"
"It feels like you're just lifting up the corners of your mouth. There's no actual feeling behind it…"
"Are you calling me a robot now?"
She laughed, and Mamoru's heart twitched, "no you idiot. I'm just saying, you have such beautiful eyes. It's sad that your smile never reaches them."
He felt his cheeks burn with heat. It's not like he hadn't received compliments in the past; women, and sometimes men, praised him for his looks all the time. But this, the little side statement by her, went straight down his spine.
Ayane mounted her horse and he followed suit. Her horse neighed, and she patted his mane. The image she made, sitting tall and slim on that brown horse, with her hair tucked behind her ears and covered with the black helmet, stole his breath away.
"How about now?" he asked, and when she looked up at him, he smiled once more.
He poured every ounce of adoration he held for her in that smile and he knew he'd been successful to show her a "sincere" smile when her cheeks burned a pretty pink.
"Were you standing behind the door?" Ayane asked as she greeted him with a peck on the cheek and entered the apartment. She'd long accepted his smiles; fake or not.
"It's literally three steps from the kitchen to the door, what do you expect?" he replied and before she could move further inside the apartment, he grabbed her by the waist. She yelped and giggled when Mamoru bent down and kissed her neck, "hii," she sighed and reciprocated the kiss he breathed against her lips.
Mamoru felt the familiar coil in his stomach. He brought his lips to the side of her mouth, the tip of her nose and in between her brows. Her little sighs of happiness urged him in his advances. The warmth had spread through his system and when she brought his lips back to her own, urgent and without restraint, he knew she felt the same way.
At the back of his mind, Mamoru knew the pot of noodle he'd put up was probably boiling by now; the cup of coffee he had just poured himself would soon be cold and disgusting, but he didn't care. He needed Ayane more than ever.
Tonight, he would tell her his secret. He would tell her what he'd been going through and what he'll most probably go through for the rest of his life. She deserved to know what she had signed up for; he owed her that much. And he hoped, above anything, that she'd take him in spite of this weird life he'd been destined to live.
Still, a nagging voice squirmed around his head, telling him that this might be the last time he could hold her in his arms; the last time he could hear her inflamed whimpers and feel her breath against his neck.
So, when Mamoru walked them both to his bedroom and pulled Ayane against himself on the bed, it'd been partly because of his crazy hormones. For the most part, he made love to her out of his fear of losing the one person who had helped him forget who he was in his darkest moments.
"Usagi-chan, why are you still up?"
Usagi had her hand under her chin and her eyes had been glued to the sky. From her window, above her bed, she could see the moon. It stood alone and proud against the dark backdrop of the sky. There'd been no stars that night and Usagi felt lonelier than ever.
"I couldn't sleep…have a lot on my mind," she whispered back to Luna. The cat had just got back from her nightly patron around the city with Artemis. She'd tip pawed back to the teenager's room and found Usagi seated on her pink bunny comforter and gazing up at the sky.
"Is something wrong?" Luna asked though she had a good idea what was probably on her companion's mind.
Usagi didn't answer. She laid on her front and hugged her pillow. Luna could only see a small strip of her forehead and left eye.
"I peel so lownley…" she muttered in the pillow.
"What? I didn't get that."
The blonde sighed in frustration and shoved the pillow away, "I just…feel so lonely sometimes…" she didn't meet Luna's attentive eyes, "I mean, not that I'm lonely. I have my family, my friends, and the girls…and well, Haruka-san and Artemis…but there's just this emptiness…" she looked up sharply, "I mean, not an emptiness, but—"
"You feel lost," Luna soothed and when Usagi didn't say anything, she jumped on the window railing and tried to catch the teenager's eyes, "Usagi-chan, look at me."
The eyes that met her didn't hold the usual glint she'd been used to see on Usagi's face. These eyes seemed distant, maybe a little disappointed; they reminded Luna of another set of eyes, a little greyish in colour and probably a little more reserved, but they had held the same look, the same desperation once. Luna tried not to think about those sad, sad memories. Still, they invaded her sleep like hateful little mosquitoes.
"I mean, what's the point Luna?" Usagi's voice was so small, "what's the point of fighting every day, with youmas, with society, with my family and sometimes with the girls even; what'll happen in the end? What if we never find that crystal?"
"We will find it Usagi-chan, I know we will—"
"But how can you be so sure? It's been months. And now that we've finally found the princess…" she halted, knowing too well how much Luna hated it when she spoke of the "princess" as a third person.
"Go on." The cat might have been brutal in so many ways with Usagi, but she knew when she needed to be a friend instead of a mentor.
"I just thought that by finding the princess, me," she rolled her eyes, as if the statement alone sounded ridiculous, "we'd find the crystal as well? I thought the two went hand in hand, and now…I'm just so drained and I'm tired and…"
"Usagi-chan, can I ask you something?"
The blonde nodded, "does this feeling have anything to do with Mamoru-san?"
Usagi's eyes sharpened and her face fell into a deep furrow, "no. Absolutely not. The idiot can do whatever hell he wants. I don't care."
The declaration came naturally and unrehearsed, "I don't care what destiny says, the baka and I have nothing in common. It's best that we stay business partners—"
"Business partners?" Luna raised her tiny kitty brow.
"You know what I mean," Usagi giggled.
But even though Usagi finally slipped under her comforter and soon, fell into a deep sleep and started snoring like a baby elephant, Luna knew that that dark feeling of emptiness hadn't really gone away.
Luna had watched Usagi go down the same path once before and no matter how much she wanted to fool herself, she couldn't fool the cat.
Luna knew the matter of the heart better than anyone else.
"You are awfully quiet…"
Mamoru moved his eyes from the ceiling and met Ayane's eyes. It's funny, but he'd looked into those eyes so many times before, their gentle colour always covered him with comfort. How come he had never seen the subtle laugh lines around them? The shape of her irises? How big her pupils sat in them and how fascinatingly deep they seemed? Fuck. Had he lost all hope in keeping her in his life? Was that why his fucking mind had decided to be this detailed?
"Am I not always?" he smiled and kissed her forehead.
"Well, yes. But this silence feels different. As if you're trying to think of something. Plotting even…" she giggled when Mamoru raised his brow. She sunk into his arms, "are you plotting something? Something naughty maybe?" her fingers swirled in circles on Mamoru's midsection and he felt the heat spreading through him like a warm breeze.
"Naughtier than what I just finished?"
She dived into his mouth instead of answering. God, she felt soft and warm and hot. He couldn't get enough of her.
Ayane climbed on top of him and continued ravishing him like a dying woman.
When the first jab to his left came, he wrote it off as Ayane's savage horniness. He dug his fingers in her thighs and lifted his upper body to meet her kisses.
The second jab came at exactly when Ayane's tongue entered his ear; for the life of him, he couldn't give a damn about the pain.
The third, much harsher than the last, ripped through him like a Samurai's sword and though Ayane's wicked tongue had come this close to where he wanted it, he sat up with a cry and a face twisted with pain.
"What? What?" Ayane pulled herself off him in panic and kneeled beside him, "Mamoru, what's happening?"
He clutched his chest and heaved like a trapped animal. The rattle in his head got louder and louder; the screams, the orders, the "what the fuck, where is it?"
Out of all the angry and hurried remarks, he picked out Sailor Moon's voice much clearer than anyone else's; It'd been like that from the start. Sometimes, if she hadn't shown up on the field, he wouldn't even know there was a fight going on.
This unbreakable bond between them was the reason why he resented her, and he hated himself for it.
"I have…to go," he stuttered.
He stood up, butt naked and all, on wobbly feet. Ayane scooted forward to the foot of the bed, "what? Where? Mamoru, what's going on?"
That sensation he always felt when he transformed threatened to expose him. And fuck, he'd wanted to have a serious talk with her tonight. He just couldn't keep his pants on long enough to tell her the truth, now could he? Worse, those fucking youmas couldn't pick a better time to show their sorry faces.
"Ayane…I need you to trust me—"
"Mamoru, you're in pain. What's wrong with you?" she stood beside him and tried to grab his hand. If it were any other time, he would've reveled in her nakedness. But now, he had to get away before Tuxie boy showed up and frightened her to death.
"Ayane, please. I need to go. I promise I'll come to see you after—"
"After what Mamoru…where are you going?
Mamoru heard the last bit of her screams as he ran out of his bedroom and towards the entrance. The burning sensation went through him as Tuxedo Mask threw himself in the hallway; he prayed the heavens that he wouldn't run into his neighbors.
He leaped from roofs to trees to the sky. Sailor Moon's angry screams negated Ayane's desperate ones in his head, and he surged forward with all the strength his frustration allowed him.
"Venus, watch out…"
Sailor Venus pushed herself away from the wrath of the disgusting youma of the night. She jumped high in the sky and landed on her feet with the grace of a hero. Her eyes narrowed as she surveyed her surroundings.
Jupiter had gone head to head with the youma, a spiteful green creature with the ugliest purple dress Venus had ever seen. She'd wanted to yell at Jadeite for his horrible fashion sense. Worse than having to fight off these lame-ass youmas, was having to fight these tacky lame-ass youmas.
"Mars are you okay?" she yelled and ran to kneel beside her comrade.
"I'm fine. That shithead got my arm though."
Venus hauled her up and pulled her to the side. She watched as Sailor Moon did a full circle around the youma and started screaming on the top of her lunges when it attacked.
"Moon…get out of the way…"
Sailor Moon managed to land on her feet, instead of her bum and stuck her tongue out at the youma.
"For God's sake…" Mars muttered under her breathe, "finish him already…" she shouted at the blonde.
Sailor Moon looked over at them and stuck her tongue out at Mars this time. Her moment of negligence gave the youma the chance to blast a blow at her.
Venus's warning scream intermingled with Mars's horrified one as they watched the scene.
Mercury had been the first to leap on her feet, from where she'd been lying, wounded, when the blast left an explosion behind.
Venus closed her eyes against the dust that surrounded them all; when she opened them again, fear gripping at her for what she might see, she had to blink twice.
There was no Sailor Moon in sight; not even her battered and broken body.
"Thank God…" Mars's relieved sigh grabbed her attention and they both watched as Tuxedo Mask landed a few yards away from them, with Sailor Moon carefully tucked under his arm.
"Finish it Moon…" Jupiter yelled as she ran towards the duo, her eyes fixed on the man with his ridiculous combat attire. She trusted him as much as she trusted the youma. And now that they all knew their true identities, she'd lost any confidence she might've had about the prince of Earth.
"Get your sorry behind moving…" Tuxedo Mask hissed at Sailor Moon.
She gave him a nasty look and moved away from him.
Venus stayed behind when the rest of the scouts ran to their princess to make sure she was okay. She knew Sailor Moon well; she had come to know Usagi well and out of all of them, she'd been the only one who remembered a good portion of their past. She didn't need to worry about the blonde.
Instead, her eyes stayed glued to the man who'd entered a round of bantering with Sailor Moon. If anyone saw them now, they wouldn't believe they'd been the same people who had just saved the city.
Her mind raced as she witnessed the exchange.
Venus remembered enough of their past to know that what she saw had nothing to do with resentment and everything to do with hidden emotions.
Idiots.
They were a bunch of idiots who ran around in tiny skirts and called themselves heroes. That blonde could've died tonight; so easy, so fast, so goddamn violent that none of them could even put together enough pieces of her body to be mourned upon.
Mamoru had de-transformed in the confine of his apartment. After all, he'd been stark naked when he had transformed.
He went straight to the bathroom and opened the shower faucet full blast. He stood in front of the mirror to check himself for any visible wounds. He'd learned long ago that he had healing abilities. Not that he was going to let those loons know that he did.
His nakedness reminded him of Ayane. Fuck. What am I going to do now?
What had happened tonight? Why had the transformation come that quickly? Giving him little time to gather his wits? Every other time he had to leave Ayane behind when the sensation waltzed through him, he'd been able to at least come up with an excuse for her; he'd had enough time to come up with an excuse. But tonight, the feeling couldn't have had come at the worst time. It'd been strange; the burning in his veins had been so…real. As if someone had lit up a candle inside of him and slowly moved it around to make sure he suffered.
He went head first under the hot steaming water and flinched, just for a second, and then relaxed. Maybe the burning on his skin would allow his insides to rest for a minute or two.
Why hadn't she jump away from the blast? She'd just stood rooted in front of that fucking ball of hatred.
Tuxedo Mask had a good view of her when he had arrived at the scene and for the life of him, Mamoru didn't think he could forget the look he'd seen in Sailor Moon's eyes. It had vanished the moment his fingertips had come into contact with her lower back, as he hugged her and jumped. She'd looked away from him then.
But nothing she could do or say would wipe out that split second of doubt and surrender he'd seen on her face. What had gone through her head? What was she thinking right then?
Hot water splashed against Mamoru's back, chest, thighs and feet. His hair had been matted against his skull and into his eyes, making it uncomfortable to open them. But he didn't care.
What he cared to focus on, and fret, had been the stinging in his gut every time he thought about Sailor Moon's heavy eyes and the thought of her shattered body if he hadn't been quick enough to snatch her away.
Fuck.
Mamoru had started to remember enough of their past to know how hard he'd tried to keep that same thing from happening centuries ago.
He shut off the water and stood in the shower stall. Tiny drops of water rolled down his shoulders, his back, his face.
Mamoru had started to remember Serenity, the woman he had wedded in secret.
"Motoki-onii-san, can I please have a hamburger with fries?"
Usagi plopped down on a barstool, tired and gloomy and looked up at her long-time friend.
"Bad day Usagi-chan?" Motoki leaned against the bar on the other side and did a once over on the teenager.
"I mean, I didn't have detention, so that's a win," she flashed him a smile that didn't reach her eyes, "but I've been so…tired lately, that's all…" she locked her hands together and stretched her arms above her head.
"You look tired for sure. Have you been sleeping well?" he nodded at a customer who'd just entered the arcade.
"Not really. I mean, I go to bed at a decent time…" she paused, recognizing the lie she just told; she hated to lie to Motoki, "…most nights. But then it takes me a lifetime to fall asleep."
The man listened to her carefully. In all honesty, Motoki had noticed Usagi's change in behavior for a while. She still bounced around like a little happy child, but her bouncing seemed…forced. As if she'd been doing it to please an audience, and Motoki was afraid that too much of the show would hurt her mentally.
"Let me start on that burger for you and come back. I'll be a minute. Hold your thought…" he'd been adamant to speak to the teenager for some time now, and today gave him an opening. But he knew a hungry Usagi equaled a deaf Usagi; he had to feed her first.
Usagi watched him disappear into the kitchen and looked at her wristwatch. She had to meet with the girls in an hour. She dropped her head on her folded arms and took a deep breath.
The dream she had last night kept rolling around her mind. She had probably fallen asleep for an hour when she'd jolted up as if someone had touched her face.
Luna had been sprawled on the foot of the bed, snoring like an adult human male.
"Promise me this…" he'd said in the dream, "you have to promise me."
She didn't have many dreams of Endymion. She'd dreamed about their time on the moon and the many times Serenity had snuck out to meet him on Earth, but never of him alone. For the most part, she'd always been a silent observer in the dream. She watched Serenity interact with her friends, her mother, and Endymion.
But last night…Usagi growled into her arms. Last night she'd felt blasted by thousands of youmas. The pain she'd witnessed in Endymion's eyes, as she had looked directly at them, had been the cause of the devastating tears she'd woken up to.
"Is this seat taken little miss?"
Usagi turned towards the voice in slow motion and then sat up straight.
"May I sit here?" the guy asked again when Usagi kept looking at him.
"Oh, yes. Yes…I mean, no, the seat is not taken…" she rolled her eyes at her struggle with words.
The man smiled and sat on the seat right beside her. He took off his messenger bag and put it on the bar. Usagi tried to focus on the arrays of colourful inspirational quotes on the opposite wall. Motoki loved to use famous quotes.
"Here you go Usagi-chan, one special hamburger with extra crunchy fries…oh, look who's here." Motoki reappeared from the kitchen.
Usagi raised her eyebrows as the man beside her bowed in his seated position at Motoki, "Furuhata-san."
"I thought childish games and greasy food weren't your thing Kousei-san," Motoki smirked and bowed his head, "what's up?"
Usagi would've loved to listen to their conversation with more poise and elegance, but as she bit into her hamburger and moaned like a puppy munching on a treat, she knew her chance of composure had long gone.
"Well, you guys talked about this place so much that I just had to come and check it out myself," Kousei-san said. He did a side stare at Usagi and added, "and I think it's great."
Motoki chose not to comment on his friends' obvious hint towards Usagi. He had come to know Hiro Kousei as a ladies' man. He would flirt with anything that represented femininity to him.
"Is it that good?" the man whirled around towards Usagi. She choked on a little piece of fires and met his eyes with confusion, "the burger, is it that good? You make it sound delicious…"
He watched as the girl's face turned crimson. She's cute. She's really cute.
"I mean, I like Motoki's burgers—"
"Well, I sure hope you just like his burgers—"
"Hiro-san…" Motoki's scandalous protest didn't go unnoticed by Usagi and her face turned red even more.
The man raised his arms in surrender and laughed, "just joking. What's your name, little miss?"
Usagi gulped down hard and after wiping her mouth with her hand, she answered, "Usagi Tsukino."
"Well, it's a pleasure Usagi-san. I'm Hiro Kousei. A friend of Motoki-san's."
Usagi nodded her head and peeked at Motoki who shook his head and sighed. She didn't understand his reaction.
Hiro kept his eyes on this slip of a girl with her unique hairstyle. He'd noticed her the moment he had walked into the arcade. And when she had lifted up her head and looked at him, something inside of him had filled up with warmth.
There was just something about her eyes…
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon and its amazing characters in any way. All the delightful rights of this manga/anime belong to Naoko Takeuchi.
