Hi everyone,
so get this. I've left my laptop on my flight to Beijing and I haven't been able to locate it.
I am only uploading this chapter because I won't lose my weekly updates. But since I'm doing it on my phone and I have little time, I won't be able to go over ur reviews. I'm sorry.
Thank u to all of u who reviewed the last chapter and as usual, a big shout out to DarkenedHrt101.
Enjoy
Golak
Ami put down the phone and sighed.
"So?" Makoto scooted a little closer to her and tugged on her sleeve.
"Tsukino-san said that she's sick and can't come to the phone," she didn't meet Rei's dejected look, "she said she'll have Usagi call us."
"Yeah, right. That's what she said the last couple of times," Makoto hissed, "she really doesn't want to talk to us." She looked at Rei and pursed her lips together, "I wonder why."
There was a momentary rage on Rei's face, but it disappeared as soon as it came. She knew what she had done; she didn't have the luxury to throw a tantrum.
"Mako-chan…" Ami's gentle tone was underlined with warning. They'd been through this, she meant, there was no need to point a finger. Rei had been heartbroken enough; they didn't need to add salt to the wound.
"Has anyone spoken to Minako-chan?"
Makoto shook her head and Rei simply looked away. Neither of them had seen their blonde leader for the past week. Almost as long as they hadn't seen Usagi.
The day after that horrible dream, Rei had called her friends and asked them to meet her at the shrine. She had sat them down and told them of the tale she had only become aware of. She told them about the dream, about how Sailor Venus and Sailor Mars had plotted against the earthen prince and how, with the aid of Sailor Uranus, they had him believe that Serenity had found a suitor who better fit her status.
She sobbed as she told them about the look she had seen in the prince's eyes, "I felt his heartbreak," she whispered. The ever poised Ami cried silently. Even Mako-chan sniffled into her green tea.
Minako hadn't been there. She never answered any of their calls.
"I need to see her," Rei stood up and rolled up her hair. She felt warm. The heat hadn't left her ever since that night. It's the heat of guilt, she thought; the heat of hell.
"I don't think that's wise Rei-chan," Ami wiped away imaginary dust from her skirt and folded her hands on her lap, "She probably needs time to work around these new...revelations."
"How do you even know that she knows? You haven't talked to her. So, maybe, she really is sick…" Makoto jumped up and stood beside Rei, "if she really is sick, then we have to go see her. Right?" she looked at Ami, "right?"
"She knows." Rei opened the sliding door and gazed out at the shrine. The sun would set soon. The moon was already up there, pale and proud. Rei didn't have the heart, or the courage, to look at it.
"How are you sure?" Makoto knew she had to trust her friend; if Rei said that she knew something, then she definitely knew something. But, she hadn't seen Usagi for the past couple of days and the silence was killing her.
Rei walked onto the balcony and sat on the top stair. She deliberately kept her back to her friends as she spoke, "Because I felt their presence there. Usagi and Chiba," She took a deep breath and finally, looked up at the sky, "it wasn't Serenity and the terrain prince I saw. It was them…"
The sun glowed faintly in the horizon and lent its loving rays to the moon, as it shone brighter with each passing moment.
Rei kept looking away so her friends wouldn't see the hopeless tears in her eyes.
"I'm so fucking tired," Kosuke yawned open mouth beside me and rolled his shoulders.
"Didn't get much sleep?"
"I stayed up until 3 to work on this stupid…" he shook the stack of papers in his hand, "research paper, and it's still not finished."
I nodded to a classmate who hurried down the stairs, "When's the deadline? What is it again?"
I only half-listened to him, because as soon as we reached the second floor, my eyes landed on Mamoru Chiba.
"We kissed…," she had said, "and it wasn't the first time."
I had a mindful that I ought to go and punch the guy in his face. I felt a fit of boiling anger I had never felt before. I had tried to keep my mind off Usagi and the kiss; but now, as I grimaced watching Chiba speak to that guy, I knew any attempt in forgetting their hurtful act had been futile. I hadn't forgotten it and it still hurt like a bitch.
"Hey...Mamoru-kun," Kusoke waved at him.
Chiba looked at us and for a moment, I thought I saw a look of regret on his face. I probably imagined it, because his face turned stoic as he saw me beside Kosuke-kun.
"Long time no see...how are you, man?" Kosuke had always been a friendly pal. I couldn't remember the last time he wasn't friends with someone.
Mamoru said something to him and then nodded at me. I looked away.
"I'll see you later," I said to Kosuke-kun and walked towards my class.
Fuck. Now that I saw him, the images of them kissing came back to me again. Had
Usagi kissed him the same way she always kissed me? With her hands on his shoulders and her mouth open…
I shook my head. Fuck. Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about her.
But I continued thinking about her and the kiss as I sat in class and watched Chiba occupy the seat he always sat on beside the windows.
As the professor talked about the ethics of being a doctor, I focused on the back of Chiba's head and tried to forget all the morals I've been taught on how physical assault is a crime and just throw my heavy book at him.
I watched him take notes and I couldn't stop my mind from thinking about how those same hands had been all over my girlfriend's body.
I remembered Usagi's face as she had walked out of Kosuke's bathroom; face all flushed and eyes bright. Damn it. Had she ever looked that way when I'd kissed her?
Chiba became aware of my staring. His hand stilled on his notebook and he turned sideways and looked at me. I didn't drop my eyes.
I wanted him to see the disgust, the hate on my face. I called him my friend and he'd stabbed me in the back. And he had the nerve to look me, steadily, in the eye and keep a calm face? Bastard.
Was it just me, or did the room feel so cold, all of a sudden? I felt a shudder down my spine and I saw, from the corner of my eye, how the girl sitting beside me hugged herself with her arms.
Mamoru kept looking at me as if he'd been looking at something through a window; peering and calculating.
The temperature in the class dropped even further. I could practically hear the girl beside me shivering.
I kept looking at Mamoru. There was something about him, a certain aura that made me think that I was looking at someone much older than me; a superior.
I fisted my hands against the cold and finally, dropped my eyes.
"I think someone left a window open or something," the girl beside me said to her friend. I looked around and couldn't see any window open. But she'd been right, the room surely felt warmer.
Was Usagi with him now? I hadn't even thought about it before. Damn it. Were they a thing now?
The professor was still talking about how, as future doctors, we had to put aside any differences we had with the patient and focus on one thing; I don't remember what that one thing was.
I had to get out. The thought of Usagi and Chiba wouldn't leave me alone and I feared that I might snap at any moment.
"Mr. Chiba, are you leaving us?"
I raised my head and watched as Chiba stood up and gathered his things, "I'm sorry. But I have a brutal headache. May I be excused?"
The professor only nodded. They all liked Chiba. He'd never been anything but a polite suck up.
I watched him as he left the classroom and closed the door behind him with a slow thud.
As soon as he left, I felt a strange heaviness lifted from my chest. I exhaled sharply and smiled at the girl beside me.
I continued listening to the ethics of the doctor-patient relationship and couldn't help but wonder if Chiba had felt the same need to get away from me.
I didn't see him for the rest of the day.
I finished the afternoon with intense practice. I had played volleyball every single day for the past week. I wanted to tire myself to the point of exhaustion. If not that, I would go out with my friends and stay out until late; it helped to keep my mind off of things; but then, I would go home and I would think about Usagi in the solitude of my apartment.
I hated it. I hated every second of being this grumpy and sad.
After practice, I decided to head home. I had a midterm coming up in a few days and staying out every night wouldn't get me anywhere.
I hadn't taken the car that day and I got off one station before my own, to go grocery shopping. The Family Mart close to my apartment was shit.
It'd been well past six when I reached my apartment. I left the groceries unattended on the kitchen counter and walked into the main room; I never tidied my bed when I left the house. It just seemed redundant to do so when I would come back and get it all tangled and messed up again. This small suit had become my sanctuary ever since I moved to Tokyo.
I was biting into an apple when a knock came. I opened the door with my hand midway to my mouth.
And I froze.
Usagi looked at me with a small uncomfortable smile, "Hi…"
I kept staring at her as if I was deaf and hadn't heard her little greet.
She pursed her lips together and gave me another awkward smile, "I'm sorry. I should've called…" she paused, probably waiting for me to say something.
I didn't.
"I mean...I wanted to say how sorry I am. For everything."
I could tell how uneasy I was making her. She faltered in her words and kept staring away from me. Good, I thought. You should feel uncomfortable.
"I know I hurt you...I know nothing can change what I did but—"
"Ne, Hiro-san. How are you?"
My loud neighbor walked inside the hall and spotted us at my door. I grimaced and tried to smile at him, "I'm well. How are you?"
His eyes went back and forth between Usagi and me. I saw a small, wolfish smirk on his lips, "Long time no see. But I can see that you've been busy."
I tried to contain my eye roll. The douche was infamous for his rude mannerisms. I didn't have time to play into his game.
I grabbed Usagi's forearm and pulled her inside, "Have a good night." I said to him and closed the door. I exhaled sharply and leaned against the door. In the small space of my genkan, our chests almost touched.
"Well then," I said, "come on in." I walked passed her into the kitchen and threw the half-eaten apple in the trash.
I heard a slow shuffling behind me and the next moment, she walked into the kitchen, wearing the smallest slippers I had; she still had her pink raincoat on. She probably wanted to make amends and leave. My heart twisted with the thought and I cursed myself. Hadn't I spent the previous week mooning over her betrayal? Shouldn't I be happy that she wanted to end it, officially?
Had a part of me wanted to have the last say? She was standing in the middle of my kitchen, all pink and gold, and perfect skin; I had prepared all these nasty things I wanted to say to her, why was I suddenly speechless?
I'll make tea, I thought. I had to do something other than just stand there like a complete idiot.
"I want to tell you the truth…"
Her voice rose over the running water; I continued filling the kettle.
"You told me once that I'm the most honest person you've met…,"
I let out a loud snort and put the kettle on the stove.
"Mamoru-san and I—"
"I don't want to hear it…" I growled and the tightness of my voice surprised even myself. The moment she had said his name I felt the same unbearable anger towards them. My traitorous mind sent me images of them standing in the middle of that fucking escape room, lip-locked and cozy.
Usagi took a deep breath, "I need to tell you who I am—"
"I already know who you are…" I spit out and walked out of the kitchen, "You're a liar."
She followed me into the room, "Can you just let me explain—"
"What is there to explain?" I turned towards her and finally, met her eyes, "You lied about ever knowing him. 'We kinda know each other,' you said. You've been lying all this time and then…" my voice was a little higher than I'd intended, but I couldn't help myself. She stood in front of me, with her pretty lips and pretty hair and fucking innocent eyes; but now I knew better. I knew she wasn't as innocent as she looked.
"And then, you just go out there and make out with him…" I felt sick, "And apparently, you didn't just do it once…" I took a deep breath, "does his girlfriend know? Does she know what the two of you have been up to?"
"They're…" her voice sounded small, "not together anymore…"
And there it was. The opening she probably needed to tell me that it was finished. That the two of them were an "item" now. That the last couple of months had been nothing but an illusion; a lie.
"How noble of him to break up with her after fondling you—"
"He didn't fondle—" she didn't finish her sentence. And I'd like to think it was because of something she saw in my eyes.
"So what...why are you here Usagi? If you came all the way here to rub your new relationship in my face, I gotta tell you, I'm all maxed out…" I gestured to myself, from head to toe, "you've already broken my heart; it can't be broken twice—"
"I came here to say that I...I have feelings for you."
The words came out of her mouth a little doubtful; as if she was guarding something and by saying these words, she was putting it in danger.
I kept my eyes on her, wanting to see every little movement, every tiny flicker of her face. She didn't blush, nor did she look away when she said the words; and suddenly, the biggest cloud, the darkest cloud, around my heart shifted away.
"I know I've screwed up, and I can't go back and undo what I did...but I…" she fiddled with her hands and gulped hard.
"But I thought, maybe...just maybe, you'd give us another chance...I mean," she looked up and for a moment, all breath left my lungs. Her eyes looked so genuine, so very sincere. I had known her for a couple of months; I'd looked into those same eyes countless times, and yet, the look in them, right then, twisted my heart.
"But, first...I have to tell you about…" she sighed loudly and shook her head, "God, why is this so hard…," she stilled her movements and looked up at me, "Hiro-kun," she cleared her throat, "I have feelings for you. And I hope that you would give me a chance to—"
It was inevitable. It was raw and undefeated emotion, the way I walked up to her, cradled her face in between my hands and kissed her senseless. I knew, from the moment that she had walked inside my apartment, that I was going to kiss her. I hadn't thought that I might kiss her in any way but a farewell.
She was surprised, I could tell. Her lips were stiff against mine, but when she overcame her shock...Oh, God.
She clawed at me as if I'd been the only source that could keep her on her feet. I brought my arms around her tiny waist and hoisted her up into my embrace. She came willingly and oh so passionately.
I heard the whistle of the tea kettle and the thought of making tea passed my mind; it went straight to hell the moment Usagi pushed her hands into my hair.
God, I'd never been so turned on. I wanted to swallow her, to engulf her whole.
I needed skin. I needed her skin. Her thin pink raincoat felt so fucking heavy.
I brought her back to her feet and detached myself from her. But only for a moment. I rushed through taking off her raincoat and when both of her arms were free and before the coat dropped completely on the floor, I had her in my arms again.
"I…" she mumbled when I brought my mouth against her throat, "need to talk to you. I have something...oh," I sucked her flaring pulse, "something to tell you…"
I sucked her earlobe, "Later…" I whispered into her ear, "tell me later."
She looped her arms around my shoulders and raised herself up. I could feel her feet dangling off the floor. I grabbed her bottom and pulled her up against my body and before she could utter a word, I pushed her up against the wall behind her.
God…
I needed her so much.
"So? Were you able to talk to her?"
Artemis shook his tiny white head, "No. She didn't even let me into the room." He hopped on the wall and stood beside Luna.
The other cat hung her head low and allowed Artemis to lick her in greeting, "I feel so sorry about Minako-chan."
"Me too. I feel bad for all of them. Minako, Rei-chan, Usagi-chan…" Artemis looked away, "but to be honest. I feel the worst for Mamuro-san."
He prepared himself for Luna's growl. He knew how the female guardian felt about Mamoru Chiba; he knew how she felt about the terrain prince.
He looked perplexed at Luna when nothing came.
"To tell you the truth…" Luna looked up at the sky, "I feel the same way." She knew Artemis wouldn't say anything, not until she laid down all that was heavy on her mind and her heart.
"The girls...at least they have each other. They might not see it right now, not understand it, but their bond is unbreakable. And the love they share, well I, for one, always envied it. But Chiba...Mamoru-san? He's...all alone." She paused. The meaning behind her own words dawned on her.
Mamoru Chiba was all alone in this world, and here they were, a group of inseparable beings who had done nothing but make him feel unwelcome through and through.
She remembered all the times they had laughed after a win. When a youma was defeated and they knew that they had saved the town once again. They would giggle at Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars' childish bantering; or would praise Sailor Mercury's on point geniusness with awe.
Tuxedo Mask had been there; he'd been right there in the forefront of danger from the start and yet, Luna couldn't think of a time when he had shared in their glory. He always stood on the sideline; mysterious...invisible.
And now, Luna wondered if that enigma had more to do with the feeling of abandonment rather than withdrawal.
The street had gone darker and Luna looked up at the sky once more.
Clouds circled the moon and the stars.
Tonight, was going to be a rainy night.
He pushed her harder into the wall. His kiss was bruising, punishing; but Usagi didn't object. She could feel the turmoil of his shattered ego and she knew, what he felt, had been her fault.
So she allowed him to hike up her skirt and settle his body between her naked thighs. She allowed him to take as much as he wanted. She knew he needed this; and the strange part was that she thought she needed it too.
Hiro growled into her mouth when she linked her ankles together and pulled him tighter against herself.
Usagi could feel his excitement pressed into her. A part of her shied away from the heat between them; another part, a bigger part, wanted to indulge in this moment of pure pleasure.
Hiro let out a whine, when Usagi nudged him forward and stood back on her feet. She looked up at him; her lips were swollen and dry. He looked the same; flushed and eyes narrowed at her next move.
Usagi walked around him and his eyes followed. She sat on his messy bed and looked around her before meeting his heated stare. She scooted upward on the bed, leaving behind the grey slippers she had on laying on the floor.
It was the single most exotic invitation Hiro had ever received. Her eyes looked so big in the twilight of the room. She took off her ankle high white socks and small feminine toes greeted him.
They held each other's gaze as he made his way towards her.
He put his hands on either side of her body on the mattress and leaned towards her, "So…you have feelings for me?" he whispered a breath away from her lips.
Usagi leaned back on her arms and nodded.
"Good feelings?" he leaned closer, "or bad ones?" he saw the red hue on her cheeks and smirked.
"Uh…" Usagi scooted further up on the bed, "I mean…" she looked away from him. She couldn't handle the staring contest anymore.
Hiro put his knee on the bed and got closer, "I'm listening." He hovered over her, without their bodies touching. The anticipation was killing him, and he hoped that it had the same affect on her too.
"I can't think when you look at me like that…" she whispered.
"Can you think when I do this?" He brought his hand to her cheek and angled her face up. He let his lips brush hers, but not in a kiss, but in a tiny nip that left her asking for more.
"How about now?" he was still holding himself up on one arm, whilst letting his other hand touch her neck, trace a line on her collarbone. He took a deep breath when he felt her shiver.
He couldn't keep up the game for much longer. He would drop himself on her soon, if she didn't cave in first.
Usagi pushed herself away from him and looked straight into his eyes. He felt a change in her. Was she having second thoughts? He could wait for her, surely, they didn't need to do anything she didn't want to.
He opened his mouth to tell her just that.
But then...Usagi laid flat on her back and opened the first two buttons of her blouse.
Outside, the rain had already started.
Mamoru walked into the arcade and nodded at Motoki. The blond waved back at him and gestured for him to sit by the bar. "I'll be right there," he mouthed to Mamoru.
Mamoru was just about to get comfortable on his seat, when a blonde head captured his eyes. He narrowed his eyes and tried to focus.
There was no ringing in his ears, so, could it be that he was mistaken? Maybe that wasn't Minako, sitting at the last booth behind the games? She stretched out her arms and Mamoru saw the orange wristwatch.
It was her alright.
Mamoru slid into the booth without an invitation. Minako didn't even look up from the magazine in front of her, "Did I say you could sit here?"
"Do you think you're in any position to tell me what to do?"
She pursed her lips together and still didn't look up.
"Where is the rest of you?" Mamoru waved at Motoki who was clearly looking for him.
"How is that your business?" She turned the page.
Mamoru frowned and opened his mouth to say something sarcastic.
"Dude, ditching me for blondes now?" Motoki's smile was both mischievous and confused. He looked between the two nemesis and raised his brows at Mamoru.
"Believe me Motoki-kun," Minako turned another page, "when it comes to blondes, you're probably more his type," she looked up at Motoki and flashed him a dazzling smile.
"Uh...I see you two are still very much at it…" Motoki shook his head, "I'll be over there. Just...don't draw blood, okay?"
Mamoru tapped on the table and kept staring at Minako. She turned another page, nodded at something she saw in there and started reading.
Minutes passed and they stayed in the same position.
"For fuck's…" Minako finally looked up at him, "what do you want Chiba?"
"I want to know where the girls are?"
"The girls, or Usagi?" The blonde closed the magazine.
"I can guess where Usagi is."
"Well, good for you. Because I don't know where anyone is."
Mamoru noticed her tired eyes; Minako always wore a light makeup, "invisible makeup," he heard her say once to Makoto. But right now, there was only visible fatigue on her face.
"Have you been sleeping at all?" He tried to tell himself that his worry came from the doctor side of him; this girl did not have his sympathy beyond that.
The lies he kept feeding himself had become a natural burden.
"Do you mean in general, or for this past week?" Minako pushed away her bangs, "The answer is no, in both cases."
Silence stretched between them. Unazuki came by with a cup of coffee for Mamoru and a milkshake for Minako, "On the house," she mumbled and left.
"Where is she?"
Mamoru didn't need to ask who she meant, "I'm guessing with Hiro Kousei…" he met Minako's surprised look, "you really haven't been in touch with anyone then." He sighed and took a sip of the coffee. He savoured the bitter taste.
"She said she has feelings for him and that she was going to give it a chance." He tried not to think about the way Usagi's eyes had turned away from him as he had reached for her hand.
"I see…" Minako played with the straw in her milkshake, "and you're okay with that?"
"Do I really have a choice...besides," He sat back and fixed his eyes on her, "weren't you the one who bent over backwards to keep her away from me?"
Minako kept her mouth shut and Mamoru felt his rage bubbling up.
"Aren't you going to say something?" He pushed away his coffee, "Aren't you going to apologize?"
"Apologize for what?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He ignored the sudden anger on her face, "You plotted against us. You're the one who pushed us apart—"
"I did what I needed to do—"
"So what…" Mamoru noticed how a few people turned their heads towards them. He lowered his voice, "So what...you're not even a little ashamed? She was carrying my child, for fuck's sake…"
Minako's eyes widened, "How did you know that?"
"She told me…" Mamoru's voice trailed off and he stared into his coffee, "I didn't believe her at first; thought she was just trying to hurt me more. But…"
"I never wanted to hurt her...or the baby," Minako's tone dropped to a whisper. She was holding the milkshake with both hands and Mamoru could see the slight trembling of her delicate flesh. Her orange nailpolish glowed and the gold ring she'd been wearing on her left pinky shimmered in the light.
"She was hurting. From the start of their relationship—"
"Our relationship…" Mamoru held her eyes when she looked up.
"You were never good for her," she whispered, almost to herself and then her tone got an edge, "You always made her feel incompatible, not enough…" she pushed the milkshake to the side and leaned towards him, "all those stories about your conquests; the many women you had bedded; who fawned over you like pathetic creatures…" a fire lit up in her, the one that Mamoru had seen before on the battlefield and when she looked at him, "you would feed her all these stories and made her feel not enough. You lowered her self esteem all the time—"
"I never—"
"Don't interrupt me…" her almost yell, catching the attention of a few customers who'd been playing the Sailor V game. Mamoru shook his head at Motoki who was headed to their table.
"You took her to all these amazing places on earth, showed her the kind of love she'd never received from her own kind and then, we'd hear that you had gone to a far away land to woo some lousy royal…"
As she talked, memories bombarded Mamoru's mind. Of Endymion smiling down at a freckled brunette; of him, doing the waltz with a beautiful raven haired woman.
"How do you think that made her feel? Hearing about all the fun you were having while she had to sit through endless meetings about how the Earth couldn't be trusted. She had to fight for your sorry ass all the time…"
Mamoru opened his mouth to say something; he closed it quickly. Now that she had decided to talk, he wasn't going to ruin it.
"And then, you asked her to marry you...in secret. The most powerful woman in the whole galaxy, married and bedded in secret—"
Mamoru wanted to tell her that they had "bedded" long before their secret union. But he didn't doubt for a second that the Senshi of love had been well aware of that.
"And then…" She pushed forward, her upper body almost lying on the table between them, "you started ditching her…"
"What?" Mamoru couldn't hold his tongue anymore, "I never did that…"
"Before you officially had her," Minako air quoted, "and knocked her up—"
"I didn't know—"
"Shut up. I'm talking now…"
"You guys really need to cool down." Motoki stood over their table with a small frown, "you're scaring little customers."
Mamoru looked behind the blond and at three small middle school girls who were watching them with wide eyes.
"Sorry Motoki…" He said and stood up, "come on," he grabbed Minako's purse and pushed it at her.
Minako looked irritated, "I haven't finished my milkshake."
An impulsive smile came to Mamoru's face. The resemblances between her and Usagi always amazed him.
"I'll buy you another one. Now come on."
They stepped outside and into the pouring rain, "What an awful weather," Minako mumbled under her breath and pulled the hat of her parka over her head.
Mamoru looked up at the sky.
Yes, it was an awful night.
"Are you cold?"
Usagi shook her head and closed her eyes when his naked chest touched her bare back.
Hiro kissed the side of her neck and traced his lips down her back. His fingers fondled with her breasts.
They had shed all their clothes, except for their underwear. Hiro had showed her different ways of physical pleasure. Usagi had thrashed and turned on his bed. There were moments when she couldn't focus at all. His hands were everywhere.
"So I guess, you're enjoying this…" he whispered against her ear when his hand snaked into her panties and his fingers touched her flesh there, "Is this okay?" he nipped her earlobe and when Usagi nodded her head, shaky and breathless, his finger entered her.
Usagi could feel her heart against her throat. It drummed uneven. Her body tried to shy away from the act. Her legs tried to close and she brought her hand over Hiro's.
"This will be good. I promise…" He pushed his knee between her rigid legs and when Usagi finally caved, he growled.
Oh God, the deeper he went, the more breathless she became.
All the while, the rain didn't stop its assaut.
The warmth in Mamoru's car felt nice; and it smelled nice too. Minako took a deep breath.
They hadn't talked much after they'd gotten into the car. Mamoru hadn't even asked her where she wanted to go. He just started driving aimlessly. The heavy rain poured down on them and the windshield wipers were on full blast. Minako wanted to ask if it was necessary for them to drive in such weather, but Mamoru turned on the radio and a slow melody broke the silence. The rain outside and the warmth inside along with this music was the best setting for Minako's mood; her lost soul could indulge in a moment of serenity here. She took a heavy breath and looked out the window. She could see a hazy reflection of Mamoru sitting beside her. Two lost souls, she thought to herself.
"How do you know Usagi is with Hiro-kun right now?"
Mamoru did a shoulder check and changed his lane, "I can feel her heartbeat…" he said, without meeting Minako's eyes, "I could always sense her. But since all of this…," he changed gears, "I can sense her deeper; as if the feelings are my own."
They stopped at a red light and Minako turned to look at him.
"I can feel the rush of adrenaline in her...the excitement…"
A car stopped beside them with loud music. The teenagers in the car were dancing around to the beat of their music. They all looked at Minako and sent her wolfish kisses.
Minako closed her eyes and tried to focus on Usagi. She had blocked all of Minako's attempts for the past few days. But the blonde never tired of trying again and again.
You will have to talk to me Usa-chan. You have to let me explain.
She felt Usagi's soul giggle with pleasure. She could feel the boiling heat in the blonde; a teenage happiness. In her mind, she heard Usagi's breathy moan and she smiled.
In her mind's eye, Minako saw Serenity's blushing face, when she had told the Senshi of love how she had discovered all the ways one could touch. The princess had been a glowing star that day, "He made me feel like the most desirable woman in the whole galaxy." Minako hoped that Usagi's first time would be as beautiful as Serenity's had been; even if it wasn't with her soulmate.
She opened her eyes and looked at Mamoru.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
He shook his head. They turned right and got stuck in traffic. They could see red lights blinking ahead. Probably an accident? Mamoru hoped no one was hurt.
"I always regretted that Serenity never got to just play around." Minako shifted in her seat and took her parka off, "It got really warm," she explained and settled back in her seat, "she fell in love so young and so fast with Endymion. And...I don't know. I just wished…" she looked at Mamoru and tried to read his face. She couldn't. She never could, "I just wished that she had more time to truly know herself. Beyond the love and beyond the boy…"
Mamoru did a quick shoulder check and turned left, taking them to a narrow street and away from the traffic. He sighed, "So you must be glad now…" he leaned back in his seat and rolled his shoulders, "that she's free of me."
Minako laughed bitterly, "You think she's free of you? You can be a lot of things Chiba, but I never thought stupid would be one of them."
They came to a stop.
"I need a coffee…" Mamoru unbuckled his seat belt, "Milkshake?" he looked at Minako and she nodded.
"With lots of whipped cream," she yelled behind him.
Her eyes followed him as he walked into the cafe and thought about how fate played with him and Usagi over and over again.
It seemed that one's pleasure could only break another's heart.
Usagi was awake. The room was completely dark now and all she could see were arrays of outside light playing on the ceiling. That one looks like a goat. That one, like an umbrella. That one is so much like Mina-chan's red bow.
She closed her eyes.
She could hear Hiro's even breathing beside her ear. His arm was wrapped around her waist and she could feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest.
She had heard the faint beeping of her wristwatch sometime ago, but any thoughts about figuring out who'd been trying to contact her had vanished from her mind; not when she had been sprawled open and vulnerable under a man who was about to take her for the first time.
And oh God… she felt her face burn with heat.
"A man's kiss says a lot about how he fucks…" Minako said once to Makoto, "what?" she had looked around at them confused.
"Can't you be at least a little bit more…" Rei had rolled her eyes, "courteous?"
Minako had frowned, "What's so 'courteous' about fucking?" She shook her head then, "fine… a man's kiss says a lot about how he makes love. Happy?"
Usagi had thought about what she had said every time Hiro had kissed her. With every gentle stroke or hard nip from him, she had imagined how he makes love. Would he be as giving as he is when he kisses? Passionate, considerate, fun?
He'd showed her what it's like to be praised silently and thoroughly. He had taken her to heights she never thought she could reach.
"Relax," he'd whispered against her ear, "we fit perfectly."
Usagi had allowed him to take as much as he had given her. She'd been so inexperienced, so naive in so many ways. And though the moment he had hooked his fingers on the waistband of her panties an image of Endymion...Mamoru had popped in her mind doing the same with his teeth, so she had tried to shut off her brain.
She was not going to think about him. She was not going to summon any experience she'd had with him a lifetime ago. This was going to be all her. All Usagi Tsukino. Serenity could wait out the door.
Hiro had tasted every nook and cranny of her body; which in some instances, had embarrassed Usagi to no end.
"I want to learn everything about your body," he'd told her; eyes gentle with a glint of horniness, "I want to learn what makes your knees tremble…" And oh God, he'd been true to his word.
There hadn't been a certain moment of high peek for Usagi; at least, not the way she thought it should feel like. She had felt a coiling in the pit of her stomach, that had increased with every thrust of Hiro's hips.
He'd dropped on his elbows and hugged her close before groaning hard, nipping the side of her neck and finally, coming to a stop.
And just then, a pang of something foreign, something close, yet so far away, had rocked Usagi. She felt her eyes wet with tears.
And now, as she lay in her lover's arms, she allowed that feeling to caress her heart.
The rain had started to drizzle; slowly, silently and a whole lot dejected.
"Was he in on it?"
Minako slurped the last bit of her milkshake, "Who?"
"Kunzite…" Mamoru looked ahead. The name floated between them before it popped like a tiny bubble.
Minako twirled the straw in her half empty drink, "He was." She felt Mamoru shifting in his seat. He'd been gripping the coffee cup without actually drinking it.
"He never liked the two of us together either," He mumbled. The rain had finally settled to a peaceful pour. He had parked the car on a quiet street. The sound of rain splashing against the windows soothed him.
"I don't think that's entirely true," Minako adjusted the heater on herself, "he never had anything against Serenity. I think, he actually admired her. But…" She sighed and Mamoru looked at her, "his love for you was the single most important thing in his life. And knowing that the two of you could be each other's downfall—"
"Downfall is a strong word—"
"Your people held protests against the Moon kingdom; against the queen and the princess…" Minako looked him in the eye, "the Alliance passed treaty after treaty to hold peace—"
"To put a leash on us—"
"God...you're still as stupid as ever."
They stared at each other for a moment longer, before Mamoru looked away.
"He loved you too…" Mamoru whispered, leaned his head on the headset and looked out the window. An image of Kunzite's face came to his mind. His cheeks had been bruised with wine and his always stoic eyes had seemed less emotionless, as he had grieved for the love he'd let go, "Before I came to the moon, that night, I saw him. I'd never seen him that drunk or that sad."
Minako didn't say anything for a long time. Her memories of her own life hadn't been as vivid as the link she had shared with Serenity; or so she tried to convince herself.
She had spent night after night fighting against the sleep that would take her to that small library behind Kunzite's chambers. That small room had been a witness to their beginning and their end. They had stood right in the middle of that room and vowed to the sky and to each other, that they would guard the royals to their last living breath; they had shared one final kiss then, a chaste one; a tiny one. They were soldiers and their lives had been intertwined with other people. A mortal love couldn't hold a candle to the love they nurtured in their hearts for their prince and princess.
"It was just an affair," Minako's voice was tender; the tone so different from what Mamoru had been used to, "how could we fall in love, when our hearts and souls belonged to someone else?" She felt Mamoru's eyes on her, but didn't turn to meet him.
"I'm sorry I called you a conniving asshole."
Mamoru raised his brow, "You never called me that."
Minako turned confused eyes to him and pouted, "I didn't? Oh well, probably not to your face."
Mamoru rolled his eyes but couldn't stop the chuckle that suddenly felt so necessary for his peace of mind.
"I think Usagi fell asleep," He inhaled loudly, "her heartbeat is even." He took a long sip from his coffee; cold yukky coffee, Minako thought.
"So…," She said in a lighter tone, "You're just going to let Usa-chan hump hump with Hiro-kun?"
Mamoru pinned her with a pointed look and Minako smiled mischievously.
"I never took you for a slacker."
Mamoru looked away and started the car. He slowly pulled out and started to drive back towards Juban.
"She needs to figure out her feelings now…" He said when Minako gave him the address to her home.
"Didn't you say Serenity never had the chance to be with someone else? Usagi can choose... but…" He turned into Minako's quiet neighborhood.
"We are reborn to be together. She is born for me—"
The shrill of Minako's communicator cut the rest of his sentence. They looked at each other in panic.
An enemy was nearby.
Usagi woke to the sound of her communicator. Beside her, Hiro stirred.
"What is that?" He asked sleepily.
Fuck, Usagi thought.
She should've had the talk before.
Now what?
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or its characters. All rights belong to Naoko Takeuchi. I just own the story I tell.
