Author's Note:

Well… I'm alive. I know you probably don't believe that because its been WEEKS since I've been on here. Life has just been crazier than expected and my wedding is in less than 80 DAYS! I'M SO SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG! I will try my best not to be this long before my next update on Emily! I love you all, please don't lose hope with me here! I'm working on it! Little at a time.

"Changes?" Dean asked with an eyebrow raised.

"We've spent the last six months making me fit into your life. And I finally feel like I have a place here. I finally feel like this could work…" Sara started.

"Good." Sam smiled.

"But…." Sara continued.

"Why is there always a 'but' when I talk to women?" Dean sighed jokingly. Sara chuckled.

"Seriously." She smiled. "I uh… I need to see if there's a way to fit a little of my old life in with my new life."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"I miss… normal things. I want to go to the bookstore on days off, and I want to maybe join a local gym, go tanning, grocery shop. Become a semi-regular at the coffee shop. Make … I don't want to say friends. But. Acquaintances in town."

"Well. I mean Sam could take you to the bookstore, and… I mean we have a gym here. I'm sure we could invest in a tanning bed if its importan-" Dean began to talk.

"No no no… Dean. You're not hearing me. I… as in me. By myself. I want to feel like an independent person again. I've found my niche with you guys, and I feel comfortable with that. I want to see if there is a way for me to explore the old me in this new life."

"You want to go out alone?" Sam asked.

"Yes. I want some independence. Because I feel safe here. I feel safe with you two. And now I need to feel safe on my own again too."

"I don't like it." Dean admitted.

"You don't have to." Sara shrugged. "You just gotta try."

"You're gonna need a car." Sam sighed. "I think we can probably get one out in the garage running for you if you don't mind it being an older one."

"I don't mind at all. I'd actually really appreciate that. I miss my truck."

"So you're just on board with this?" Dean asked him.

"I mean… she's not a prisoner? And she's done everything we've asked. So… if she wants to try this out. Then why wouldn't we support her on it?" Sam argued in her defense.

"One word. DEMONS. Oh, oh…. Here's another one… MONSTERS. Creatures. Supernatural beings that see her as the holy grail!" Dean then pointed out loudly.

"Dean." Sam sighed. "I worry about her too… but she's right. She deserves to have a little space."

Sara looked down at her feet as the two brothers went back and forth.

"I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me." Sara looked directly at Dean. "I hope you know how much I adore you both, and how you've become a part of my life that I'll never be able to live without… but I hope you can also understand that I need to have my independence again Dean. I hope you know that this doesn't mean I'm tired of this life. It just means I want to explore it a little more."

Dean blew out a puff of air and stood from his chair. Walking around with his back facing Sam and Sara. He ran a hand through his hair and turned around… walking towards her.

"Okay." He nodded stiffly before leaving the room. Leave Sara and Sam alone.

"Is he still mad?" She asked.

"He's not mad… he's worried about you." Sam corrected her. "He just wants you to be safe."

"I know. I just… I need this."

"I know. I get it, Sara. I really do. I just hope that this works out."

"Me too." She smiled as she walked down and hugged him.

"So… are you really feeling better?"

"Well I'm hugging you and not ripping off your pants so I think we're safe." Sara laughed as she let go.

"Good." Sam smiled. "That would be a little awkward."

...

…..

…..

Dean leaned down over the engine. Grease on his face, his arms, his shirt which somehow has become two toned even though he's used the rag he took out with him. The oil was now changed. The fluids all topped off. Dean and had started the engine a dozen times and worked tirelessly to fix every little rattle he heard until it purred with perfection.

"She's right Dean." Sam said as he walked out… hoping that by now his brother had time to come to his senses.

"We'll see." He grumbled back as he turned the ratchet.

"I'm worried too… we'll tail her for a while okay?"

"Way ahead of you." Dean said as he lifted the GPS tracker he was installing. Sam smirked.

"I think she'll like the car." Sam said looking over the old VW bug.

"Eh. It's a piece of crap really. German. But it was the girliest car we had. I think I'll have to clean up the paint."

"Mint green?" Sam asked as he took in the old pastel paint.

"Yeah. Gotta keep it as original as possible. Unless of course she wants it repainted. We'll have to send it off for that though."

"I don't think she'll mind. She'll just be grateful for the car."

"Sammy I just don't like this… any of this."

"Like she said. You don't have to."

"How are you so on board with this?"

"Because it's gonna help her. It's going to make this easier on her, and she deserves to have a little bit of that Dean. Don't you think she should get something… for the last six months she's busted ass to make herself fit into our life."

"Yeah and it fits! She fits! She feels right about it now… so why do we have to take a step backwards?"

"Its not a step back for her. Its another step forward. Just… give her a chance."

"Yeah." Dean sighed. "Where is she?"

"I think in her room."

"I'm gonna shower." Dean nodded as she stepped away and closed the hood.

...

…..

…..

"Come in." Sara said as she heard a knock against her door. She was sitting at the desk in her room, doodling in a notebook. Making lists. She loves lists. Lists of things to do. Things to get. Things to make. So here she sat. Working on a list of things she wanted to try and do again… and doodling on the edge of the page like a teenager.

"Hey." Dean said as he opened the door and stepped in. His hair still wet on the edges.

"Hey." Sara smiled as she closed her notebook.

"So uh, we'll be heading out in the morning for the case. So make sure you're packed up tonight."

"Okay."

"Uhh… Sara. Look. I'm not trying to be a Debbie downer or anything. I just don't think you understand how many things are out to get you." He admitted as he crossed his arms and moved towards her.

"That's fair." She nodded in reply. "But I don't think you understand that I can't be in your line of sight 24/7 for the rest of our lives Dean."

"Why not?" He shrugged. "I mean. We live together. Hunt together… travel together."

"I know, Dean." Sara sighed cutting him off before he could keep going. "But I have to have some kind of human interaction other than you and Sam. I can't stay cooped up my entire life. When we're on the road we're busy. We're active. We're interacting… but here I just. I need to have some kind of semi-normal routine. I want to know that I can run to the store. Or go get my nails done. Or take an hour or two at the library to actually read. Not just do research. I just want to have some me time again."

"I mean… Sam's half girl anyways. You could always take him to get your nails done." Dean shrugged.

"Ughhhh…. Dean." Sara dropped her head to her hands. "What do I have to do to show you that I can protect myself? That you have trained me well! I'm comfortable with my gun. I'm comfortable with hand to hand. Dean. You have prepared me. I'm tougher than I've ever been in my life!"

"I don't know." Dean replied annoyed. "I just don't get why this isn't enough for you."

"What?" She asked confused.

"Nothing forget it…" Dean said turning to leave.

"Dean stop." Sara said as she stood and followed him out in the hall. "What was that supposed to mean?"

"I mean. I thought you said you finally felt like you fit? So… why is that not enough?"

Sara's face fell. She felt herself shutting down. Shutting off from being open. She could see the irritation on his face. But she didn't know how else to make him understand. She didn't know how else to explain it… so instead she closed herself off. How could she explain to him that she needed to distance herself to control her feelings?

"I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean it like that. Just… forget I asked about it."

Sara turned and walked back towards her room.

"Sara." Dean sighed, but she shut the door anyways. Ending the conversation. Dean threw his hands in the air and stomped to the kitchen, grabbing a beer and kicking his feet up on the table.

…..

…..

…..

"Did we pack bugspray?" Sara asked as she slapped yet another mosquito off her tan leg.

"Here." Sam said handing her the bottle from his pack.

"I still don't understand why we have to hike ten miles to find this bastard." She groaned reaching down and spraying her leg again.

"Gotta find out where the last group of campers were at exactly. From there we can track the Wendigo back to its hunting grounds."

"Wendigo." Sara sighed. "This one is supposed to be the best hunter on the planet. How exactly do you guys hunt one back?"

"Well… last time this didn't exactly go as planned. It's been a while since we've hunted one." Dean admitted.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning. We have to be very careful. Very vigilant, and very aware of our surroundings." Sam explained. "And hope this time Dean doesn't end up hanging from the ceiling in a mine shaft."

"What?!" Sara shrieked surprised.

"Ehh, I'm a little smarter now then I was back then. I was cocky."

"WAS cocky?" Sara mumbled, but Dean clearly heard her as did Sam as he began to laugh.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." Dean mocked their laughter.

The three continued their walk for the next couple of hours before stumbling upon a campsite.

"Stay close." Sam told Sara as they drew their weapons and slowly walked into the tattered camp site. Blood splatter on the torn tents. The trees. Broken limbs and disturbed ground. Something along the ground caught Sara's eyes. She stepped to the side and bent down. Letting her fingers graze over the odd lines in the dirt.

"Somebody was dragged up the tree." Dean said standing over her, causing her to jump when he spoke.

"That's terrible."

"It's a vicious killer."

"We should bunk here. It's getting dark, and we're obviously close enough." Sam said dropping his pack to the ground and beginning to clear debris from the fire pit.

"We'll go get wood. You remember how to draw the symbols?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. I got it." Sam nodded.

"C'mon. You're with me." He said as he leant a hand down to Sara.

The two walked through the woods. Picking up good sticks, and carrying them back to the fire pit a few at a time.

"So." Dean sighed as they walked. "You still mad at me?"

"I was never mad." Sara smiled.

"Coulda fooled me." Dean smiled back.

"I'm sorry Dean. I was just… frustrated. I wish I knew how to explain why I feel like I have to do this."

"I wish I understood the need. I really do… but. If it means that much to you, then I guess I don't really have a choice."

"What are you so afraid of? Really?" Sara asked him calmly.

"That something will go wrong, and we won't be there to help. That you could be hours away by the time we realize something is wrong."

"I think you are too worried. I mean. I lived my whole life on my own until six months ago. And now I'm trained to protect myself. I promise Dean, I'm confident in my ability to run out for groceries by myself. I love that you worry about me, but. I need you to trust me."

"I'm trying." He said as he threw and arm around her shoulders.

"Hey." Sam said as they walked back towards the camp with arms full of wood for the night. "It's getting dark. Better put some food over the fire now, Dean and I will take shifts tonight."

"What's on the menu chef?" Sara asked.

"Soup out of the can." Sam smiled as he lifted them out of his pack and opened them over a small pot on the fire.

"You know. I've never been camping. Never really had the desire either though." Sara shrugged.

"Well, there's a first time for everything. And if we were on an actual trip, we'd bring more alcohol."

"Oh Sam, I think we all know that drunk Sara belongs with plumbing and running water."

"Yeah well, there's a river not too far from here."

"How invigorating." Sara mocked as she tipped her water bottle to her lips. "How cold do you think it will get tonight?"

"Probably pretty chilly once the sun is completely gone." Dean answered.

"Did we bring a tent?"

"Nope. Just bags, we'll stick closer to the fire. Gotta stay in the circle anyways."

"Lovely."

…..

…..

…..

Sam had taken the first watch, and it was about three in the morning when he woke Dean up to trade off. Dean stumbled out of the circle to pee, and to also check the perimeter for any signs of the beast. Once he was content in not finding anything that concerned him he walked back to the fire and added the wood. He sat in the cold air and looked over at Sam, who was now passed out and softly snoring. Then he looked over to Sara, who at first looked peaceful, but as he looked closer in the dim light of the fire he could see that her entire body was shivering. Even though she was bundled in the sleeping bag the cold ground offered little help to the situation.

He tried to rustle the wood in the fire pit, make the flames bigger, warmer, hoping to help her rest more comfortably. But nothing seemed to do that. So he eventually stood, and walked over before sitting beside her on the ground. He slowly slid an arm under her legs, then another behind her back.

"Dean…" She mumbled as she started to wake up.

"Shhh… go back to sleep." He said as he held her between himself and the fire, hoping to provide some warmth. He could faintly hear the chattering of her teeth, so he used his hands to try and create some friction against her arms.

"M'cold." She whined.

"I know." He laughed. "I could tell."

"I don't like camping."

"Me neither. I'd rather sleep in the car anyday."

"Baby… she's so warm." Sara mumbled sleepily.

Dean didn't reply, afraid he'd stop her from falling back to sleep. So instead he slowly rocked back and forth until she became still, no longer shaking. He was honestly quite content because he too could feel the chill in the air, and having Sara so close to him kept him warm as well.

He watched as the sun came up, the light bringing the forest around them to life as the birds and squirrels began to stir as well. Sam was awake, and attempting to make some sort of coffee over the still burning fire pit.

"She get cold?" Sam asked as he looked over to Dean, who still had Sara cradled against him.

"Yeah. Could hear her teeth chattering from across the fire."

"You know we had an extra blanket." Sam teased.

"Shut up." Dean rolled his eyes.

…..

…..

…..

"Think we're on the right track?" Sara asked as she pointed down to a spot of blood along the trail they were walking.

"Yeah. That's a good sign for us actually." Sam answered.

"Blood looks fresh, it probably just ate, means it should be digesting. Resting." Dean agreed.

"So we're close?" Sara asked nervously.

"Yeah. We're close."

"I don't understand where he's laying low at?" Dean questioned as he surveyed the area around them. "I mean I can see for a good two miles and I don't see any mine shafts or caves to hide out in."

"I don't know… could be just passing through? I mean the deaths were pretty spread out." Sara suggested.

"A traveling wendigo?" Dean raised an eyebrow. Sara shrugged in return.

The three continued walking throughout the rest of the morning and into the afternoon, when finally something caught Sam's attention.

"Hey. Check that out." He said as he handed Dean a pair of binoculars and pointed west.

"Well I'll be damned…" Dean mumbled.

"What is it?" Sara asked.

"A cavern."

"Like… the place a wendigo would hide kinda cavern?"

"Bingo sweetheart."

Dean led Sam and Sara into the cavern, flame thrower ready, Sara clutched her gun tightly, a flare gun tucked into her back pocket as well. The further in the trio went, the dimmer the daylight became. Sara stayed close to Sam, who walked behind her. Dean in front.

When they began to come across bones and spare body parts Sara reached back and gripped Sam.

"Close your eyes." He whispered as he took her hand and stepped forward. Sara allowed him to then pull her through with her eyes closed to avoid nightmares in the nights to come.

A low growl in the distance brought all three sets of feet to a stop. Sara's heart pounded against her chest, it was so dark that she could no longer see the mangled bodies and so she had again opened her eyes. Watching for movement the best she could.

Dean was an expert. Even in the dark he could see the slightest of movements, which is why when the Wendigo stood only a dozen feet in front of him, he knew it. He froze. Waiting to see what the beast would do next now that it knew invaders were in it's home.

It screamed. A horrible, terrible screech, causing Sara to Jump and grasp onto Sam as she lifted her gun. Dean ignited the flame thrower just as the beast lunged for him.

The screams increased as the wendigo collapsed to the ground, rotting flesh going up in flames filled Sara's nose and she held her hand over her face as Sam released her and moved forward, the fire illuminating the cavern around them.

"Well… now we just gotta hike on back to Baby and get the hell out of here." Dean smiled.

"Yeah… That was kinda anticlimactic." Sara shrugged. Both boys turned to look at her with wide eyes.

"What?" She shrugged innocently.

Just as Dean rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak, something in his peripheral vision moved, and before he could think to act Sara's scream hit his hears.

"DEEEAN!"

"SARA!" Dean yelled as adrenaline pushed his body forward and into the darkness where she had just disappeared.

"DEAN! Wait!" Sam said rushing to catch up to him. Panic overtook Dean as Sara's screams became more distant, and then abruptly cut off.

"SARA!" He called out hoping for any sound of a reply… but the only thing he could hear were Sam's footsteps coming up behind him.

"Since when the hell do wendigo's live together?!" Sam asked.

"I don't fucking know!"

"Take a breath… we'll find her. C'mon." Sam said as he ran forward and deeper into the cave. Dean behind him.

…..

…..

…..

Sara began to awaken. Feeling the ground beneath her to be damp and cold. She could hear rustling not far behind her. Fear struck her frozen, and her breath grew very shallow as she listened to the creature move about in the dark, damp cavern.

The sounds grew further away and slowly she found the confidence to raise her head and try to search the immediate area, but she instantly wished she hadn't.

Rotting bones, human and animal surrounded her. She was obviously in the beast's lair.

'Where the hell did it come from? Do they live in pairs?' Sara asked herself silently. The silence lingered on, and she pushed herself to her hands and knees, and then to stand and she stumbled slowly towards the wall, so she could walk against it and hopefully find her way back to Sam and Dean.

Dean's heart pounded into his throat. All he could think about was the sound of her screams as she disappeared into the darkness right before his eyes. He failed. Again… His constant self judgement was beginning to wear on his hope of finding her alive and in one piece.

The further into the cave he went, the higher his anxiety rose.

"Dean. Wait… listen." Sam called out interrupting his thoughts. Dean closed his eyes and let his ears focus on the sound around him. He could hear them… foot steps. Soft. Quiet.

They were being hunted.

"It's going to try and separate us." Dean replied.

"Well that sure as shit isn't gonna happen." Sam said catching his breath.

"If it's behind us then this cave loops somewhere, which means that we could be close to her."

"Think it's safe to call out?"

"The things already tailing us… it's not like we're hiding."

"Sara!" Sam called out as he nodded and the two pressed on.

"SARA!" Dean shouted immediately after.

Sara stopped her slow crawl through the cave as she heard her name being called in the distance.

She so badly wanted to call back to them, but she feared the beast would return. Her stomach twisted in knots as she fought with herself. She held still, waiting to see what else she could hear. But it was only the sound of her name. She took a moment to bump her confidence and then screamed.

"DEAN! SAAAM!"

The moment the boys heard her scream, their pace increased and Dean bee-lined for the source of the echo.

"SARAH! Sarah call out sweetheart!"

"DEAN!"

His name echoed in his ears, and instantly his feet moved beneath him. He ran as fast as his feet would carry him through the winding halls of the cave until he came across her, huddled against the wall.

"Sara!" He breathed in relief that she was still in one piece.

"Dean!" She said as she jumped towards him. He held her tightly.

"Let's get the hell out of here."

"Where did he go?" Sara asked as Dean pushed her back out the way they came.

"He was tailing us, but he knows the caves better, he'll try to cut us off from the exit, we just have to stay together and be prepared." Sam answered.

"Why were there two? There's never two right?"

"No. This is the first time we've ever seen two of them living together."

"Great." Sara sighed as they continued their way down the winding caves, Sam in front of her and Dean with a hand on her at all times from behind.

A low growl brought all three of them to a stop. Sara held her breath as she closed her eyes… she could tell the beast was in front of them. No more than ten feet, just beyond the glow of the torch Sam was carrying. When she opened them again she could faintly see two eyes becoming clearer with each step the beast took towards them.

"Dean." She trembled.

"SHhhh…." Was his only reply as he pushed Sara between the cave wall and himself. Sam pulled the flare gun discreetly from behind his waist, and slid it into Dean's open hand.

All at once the beast lunged, Sam dropped to his knee, and Dean fired, hitting the beast directly in the chest. It fell to the ground in echoing screams, Sara took a deep breath for the first time in what felt like hours.

"Can we go home now?" She asked, causing Sam to chuckle slightly.

"What? Not enough excitement for you?" He teased.

"I would punch you if you were closer."

…..

…..

…..

"Dean… it's like six in the morning." Sara groaned as she sleepily walked down the hall of the bunker behind him.

"Oh stop being a whiner. We wake up early everyday."

"… Doesn't make it any more fun."

"C'mon… it'll be worth it. I promise." Dean smiled to himself where she couldn't see.

"Oh yeah and why is that?"

"Well..." Dean said as he put his hand on the garage door and pushed it open. "I thought maybe you'd like to go for a coffee run."

Sara's groggy eyes fell upon the mint green car with Sam standing next to it.

"What is this?!" She asked surprised with wide eyes looking between Sam, Dean, and the shiny car.

"Well. If you're going on a coffee run then you're going to need something to drive."

Sara's eyes watered as Dean's words sank in. She was shocked, and so excited. She took the keys from Dean's hand as he held them out to her. Then she looked up to him.

"Dean… I can't say thank you enough. It's perfect. Absolutely perfect."

"Eh, it's german." Dean shrugged.

Sara laughed, but then reached out and wrapped her arms around him, enjoying the feeling of him squeezing her back more than she should.

"Starbucks is six miles down the road. I want one of those girly pumpkin things." Sam said as he walked towards them and popped a twenty in her hand.

"Frapp or Latte?" Sara smiled at him.

"Latte." Sam winked as he ruffled her hair and walked past them.

"Anything I need to know about the car?" She asked Dean as he moved to turn away.

"Uh, not really. Gas cap is on the passenger side. AC blows cold, heat blows warm. Sam and I topped her off with a full tank last night. She's ready for you."

"Americano? Black." Sara asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I mean if one of those weird girly pumpkin things get added to the list, I wouldn't complain."