Chapter Eleven – Walls
I tried turning back time as far as I could manage—about thirty minutes, the most I had ever managed—but the result remained the same. No attempt made even so much as a change in how the knight delivered his news, how Claude responded, where we stood, the fate.
The only thing that changed was my reaction. I became more and more flustered with each iteration, until I finally lost control of my powers altogether. I stomped past the knight and out of the library, and Claude came running after me. He grabbed hold of my hand, tugging me back to force me to stop, but I whipped myself away from him.
"Teach, it's okay," he told me, hurrying around me to physically block my path.
"Is it?" I demanded. I was losing control. The walls I built, the ones that served me as a mercenary, as a queen, as an archbishop, were faltering. I knew my friends, Claude included, had seen me with my defenses down before. But this was the very instance that I needed them up. And I was slipping.
"It's a setback, I'll admit." Claude ran a hand through his hair as he thought, processing the information I already had five iterations of time to think about. "Listen, this will work out. He said the vanguard was captured. So, they're where we want them. Sure, we're missing the tracking spell, but we can still prepare a small force to go in and take them back."
We were down to such little manpower now. The troops had been destroyed in Hrym and now here, leaving the Knights of Seiros relatively useless. We would need to take the remaining soldiers and put them in a safe place just so we could manage to keep some of them alive. It would be near impossible to rebuild the army from the ground up.
So, who did we have left? This didn't involve the students at the Academy, but I imagined Seteth wouldn't be against sparing them for battle if necessary. I put my students in some rough positions back in the day, and these were kids who could handle it. But still, that brought us to… what, roughly sixty adolescents charging into battle?
Seteth would go if I asked. Cyril and Mercedes would, too. Claude still couldn't get involved due to his position.
And then there was that message. That I shouldn't have ignored their warning. Was that just another ploy to get me second-guessing my comrades again? But how would they have been so prepared for our plans if it wasn't true? We really did have an enemy amongst our ranks, and that person was either still here with me or captured with the rest of them to get back with his or her fellow Agarthans.
Except… I was sure that they would like to know what my intentions were now. Which meant that the imposter was still here with me.
I looked into Claude's eyes, trying to see into his soul and knowing I would never be able to. It was as if I could hear Sothis in my head, telling me her thoughts on all this. She had always been perceptive, yet suspicious, leading her to conclusions that I didn't quite understand until later. She was the first one to call "Tomas" out as someone she didn't trust. If only I had listened to her sooner.
What are you trying to tell me?
I waited a moment, hoping to hear her voice just once more, but I was met with silence.
I had no choice. As a mercenary, I never fought my battles alone. My father was always nearby, along with a band of other mercenaries who would support me if I needed help. As a teacher, Manuela and Hanneman always supported me, offering to take over a significant portion of my workload when my father was killed. During the war, my former-students-turned-friends were there for me, along with the Knights of Seiros.
In other words, I had never had to do anything by myself. My quiet demeanor tricked people into thinking I preferred solitude, but I had never needed it in my life. I was always surrounded by other people eager to help me, which left me unsure now. I was resilient and knew how to manage by myself, but…
No, I had no choice. This was the only path to take. I didn't know who I could trust, so going at it alone was the only way to ensure I would make it back to Dimitri.
If I had to sacrifice myself to save him, to make sure my children got at least one of their parents back, I would do it in a heartbeat. Alexi and Katrina needed to grow up with their father. He had so much to teach them, so much he could explain to them. And even though I wanted to see them get older and get married and become amazing adults, I didn't think I was as important to their growth.
I said not another word to Claude before walking away. My mind was made up. I supposed it truly mattered not if I spoke of my plan. They would be waiting for me either way. This was what they wanted—a way for me to willingly join them. So, everything was going the way they planned, while my dreams were crumbling to pieces before my very eyes.
But Claude would not let me get away so easily. "Where are you going?"
"My room," I said, not turning back as I took determined steps down the hall.
Seteth's door was still shut. He would open it back up to find me gone, another archbishop taken from under his nose.
"What are you going to do?"
I remained silent. Claude got the picture once we made it to the stairs and I still hadn't said anything. He was like a puppy, following me and hoping to get a scrap of something, anything.
"What was that message the knight gave? About how you shouldn't have ignored their warnings? What did that mean?"
This gave me pause. Dimitri told me not to tell anyone. But what harm was there now? Claude could be one for all I knew. Maybe I was surrounded by people who were not who I thought they were, alone from the start. If I told him, it would be just a test to see his reaction.
"At the beginning of the week, when we first got here, I found a letter in my room. It said that I have an enemy hidden amongst my friends, as Solon did as Tomas and Kronya as Monica. Dimitri advised me to ignore the warning because it was just a way to get under my skin. But the message from the knight indicates that it was a verifiable warning that I should have listened to. And because I didn't, I let an entire troop of soldiers get murdered and all my friends captured," I told him.
His face barely changed as I spoke. Claude was not particularly expressive as it was. He was guarded, faking his emotions as he needed to maintain control of himself and others. He was manipulative, and through these sorts of tactics, he could get what he wanted from the people around him. The ones who knew him best knew when he was faking, but that didn't mean he never faked around us. His facades had gotten better over the years. I almost thought his stoic manner now was real.
"They very well could have sent that message back to continue to get under your skin," he responded, going in exactly the direction I knew he would. "But whatever you're thinking now—that you want to go at it alone, no doubt—cannot be the way to do this. We can come up with a new plan. We can—"
"We can't. Because I don't know if you're one of them," I interrupted, my anger bubbling over the wall I built.
This earned a genuine reaction. Sometimes when things shocked him so much or came at him so suddenly that he didn't expect it, Claude's emotions snuck through his walls. They were subtler than his guises. His eyes changed ever so slightly to indicate hurt, while his lips pressed into a thin line to prevent himself from saying anything.
Did that mean he was who he said he was? Or was the imposter just that good?
"I'm sorry," I said, and continued my journey back to my room. He did not follow behind me this time. The puppy lost interest in someone who clearly didn't want to play.
I was alone now.
I closed the door softly behind me when I returned to my quarters. My hand lingered on the doorknob, and I pressed my forehead against the wood and closed my eyes. I could stay here forever, hiding behind locked doors and hoping no one searched for me. But what good would that do?
No, I needed to get ready. I lifted my forehead off the door and let go of the knob, turning around to face my room with determination I really didn't feel.
Pulling out my armor from beneath the bed, I started adding the bulky layers on top of my clothes. It wasn't much. I didn't like to be restricted, and my speed in battled meant that I didn't need to be, for the most part. I added my vambrace on my sword arm and a pauldron on my left shoulder—I added a thinner pauldron on my right shoulder for added protection, but it wouldn't do much in battle. A single poleyn on my left knee allowed me to get low as needed, but also protect myself when I did.
It might not have been practical to rely so little on armor, but it did the job for me. I required flexibility and freedom of movement that would otherwise be restricted, and it had done me well so far. And, honestly, I was going into battle to get myself captured. Some extra pieces of armor wouldn't help me now.
What else would I need? Now that the message had been delivered, the Agarthans probably expected me at any time and would wait for me to step outside of the monastery. I wouldn't need rations, most likely, since they would probably just use me for whatever they needed and then dispose of me.
I grabbed the Sword of the Creator, a silver sword, and a longbow and arrows. I probably wouldn't need these either, but if I had the opportunity to fight, I would do so after freeing my husband and friends.
This hurt. I wasn't the type to give up. I could come up with other options, look for some sort of loophole, but the problem was… right now, I didn't see one. They held all the power so long as they had their hostages. I couldn't trust the people here, so if I asked to be followed so that they might rescue me after, that plan could get slipped along ahead of time and end up putting more people in danger.
No, to make sure that the fewest casualties came from this conflict, I needed to go at it alone. It wasn't ideal. It wasn't what I would choose. It probably wasn't even the only option. But it was what I could go with right now to ensure that Dimitri would come out alive.
I had just sheathed my silver sword when there was a knock on my door. I held the Sword of the Creator, its bulky weight familiar in my hand, and creaked the door open.
Claude put a hand on the doorframe as if he expected me to slam it shut on him.
"You know I can't come with you. I told you before, as the king of Almyra, I can't get visibly involved." Claude smiled, but it made him look sad rather than happy. "Hence why you probably don't trust me."
I sighed, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind me. I looked around, making sure there was no one watching, and steeled myself for what could very well be a mistake. I didn't want to ruin one of the only relationships I had left right now, but I couldn't keep myself from worrying.
"Alois told me a story once… about my dad," I started, and Claude's fake smile faded. "He said that when he was younger, back when he was my dad's squire, my dad got really drunk and started spewing all sorts of nonsense. Told him that, at the time, he was over a hundred years old. And Alois just assumed he was joking because he was so drunk, and my dad did tend to get a little silly when he drank too much. I mean, compared to how he usually was."
"Over a hundred?" Claude repeated.
"And he told Alois the secret, too. Said that he had been given an infusion of Crest-bearing blood that extended his lifespan," I continued. "And do you know what his Crest is?"
Claude's eyes widened. It clicked. I knew it would, knew it wouldn't take him long to piece all the information together. It was naïve of me to be telling this story—first, because I couldn't confirm whether the story was true or not. Maybe my father really was just drunk out of his mind and spewing a bunch of nonsense. Second, because if this Claude was an imposter, I didn't know what kind of information I was giving him.
But I couldn't help it. I said in anger that I didn't know if Claude was one of them, one of the enemies. I didn't… no… I didn't really mean it.
Claude came to the conclusion I wanted him to see. "The Crest of Seiros."
"And you know who else has it?"
"Rhea."
I nodded. "Rhea saved his life when they first met, before he became the captain of the Knights of Seiros, however long ago that was. See what I'm getting at?"
"Why are you telling me this? You knew this before, when we were talking about it earlier, and you didn't say anything. Why now?" Claude asked. His tone was not accusing. He wasn't angry with me or even annoyed. But I did think he was hurt, and that was something one could not so easily forget.
I put a hand on his shoulder. "Goodbye, Claude."
I began to walk past him, weapon in hand, goal in heart, determined to not look back no matter what.
"Teach!"
But I did. When he called my name—no, not my name, but who I was to him and always would be—I turned back and looked at him. He was a true adult now. He was a king, a man with a wife, a master tactician. But when I looked at him, all I would ever see was a student. Just like when he looked at me, all he saw was a teacher.
"We'll find you."
I smiled at him. "I look forward to it."
And when I turned forward this time, I didn't look back. I didn't know if Claude followed me out, if he walked me to the gate, if he watched as I disappeared from view. But what I did know was that he wouldn't be there to help me. Even though I couldn't trust him—or doubted myself to fully do so—I knew he trusted me. And he would let me do what I needed to do now.
I would get them back, just like I knew, dead or alive, Dimitri and Claude would get me back, too.
Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is on the short side, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. Please drop a review to let me know what you think!
