Sara sat at the table with unfocused eyes. Her mind somewhere in the distant past.

Lee wasn't always like this. Lee was funny. Lee was charming, and handsome. Lee wanted to become a cop like his grandfather, who died in the line of duty. Lee's family was just like anyone else's, no signs of abuse or a hateful home.

But Lee changed… lied.

Lee hurt her, and this was the first time she had been touched by him since the night she ended up as a patient in her own ER. She had toned things down when she told the boys about Lee hitting her, that it only happened a couple of times, and that she went to Anna after a bad night.

The truth was it went on for months… she couldn't leave him. She didn't want to leave him. She felt trapped, she felt like if she could just do better- be better. Then he would love her again, but that was never true and she would never be enough to make him end the violence.

"Sara!" Sam gently yelled.

She jumped as she finally heard his voice cutting into her thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear a word we just said?" He asked softly, but definitely frustrated.

"I uh, no. I'm sorry Sam… What were you saying?"

"That's it. We're going." Dean said nodding as he walked over and picked his bag up out of the floor.

"Going where?" Sara asked confused as Sam ran his hand down his face.

"I don't care, home- another case. Anywhere but here." Dean shrugged.

"But, what about the nest?"

"Well sweetheart, if you had listened to any of the 20 minute conversation we just had you'd know what was going on."

Dean didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as it had, but he could see that she was unfocused. Distracted. She was too close to him for comfort, and Dean was close to murdering a man he honestly didn't think anyone would miss- which gave him all the more reason.

"I'm sorry. It's the first time I've been face to face with him since that night. I'm just- surprised. Okay? I NEVER thought I'd see him again, and I thought Cas erased me out of everyone's memory?!"

"He did- but just the ones in Colorado. The one's who were actively a part of your life. He'd been gone for months by then." Sam explained.

"Well can't he just scrub his memory now?"

"We don't know who he's talked to, it would throw the case and look suspicious. We'd be better off just leaving."

Sara sighed as she stood and paced the room. She HATED being the reason they couldn't take a case. She was even angrier that this time it was out of her control, she had no idea he would be here.

"No." She said as she turned and faced them. Dean stopped packing for a moment and looked up to her.

"No what?" Sam asked.

"No- we're not leaving. We have a job to do, we have people to protect, and we have vampires to kill. We'll leave when the jobs done."

"Sara, you're not in the right headspace. It's dangerous, we'll find another case." Dean tried to reason with her.

"I will not let him be a deciding factor in my life anymore." She argued as she crossed her arms, pushing what little false confidence she had.

Dean sighed and stopped packing, then he walked around the edge of the bed and stood, staring at her as he too crossed his arms.

"Sara. It's not about him."

"Oh? It's not?" She challenged. "You thought I was in the wrong headspace before?"

"Honestly- yeah. Ever since we left the bunker."

"… We worked through that." She fidgeted, seeing his eyes narrow as his brows lifted slightly. He was testing her memory again. She asked herself over and over why he kept doing that. If he wanted to know so badly why can't he just come out and say it? He was the one who made the first move last night.

… For the first time.

Her heart did a backflip every time she thought about, and even though she tried to tame the wild thoughts in her head they would have carried her away if it hadn't been for Lee's little interruption into her life today.

"Yes. We did." He finally nodded. "You and Sam worked it out, we're all good. So why let something else turn things upside down for you right now?"

"Dean. That ship has sailed. It sailed the moment I heard his voice and my entire body froze. So again- I will not let him be the decision maker in my life anymore. I get to choose. Don't take that away from me, please."

Dean tapped his foot and turned, pacing slightly. He knew he couldn't say no to her after that statement. After she looked at him with the begging look on her face, the one he can't say no to for anything.

"If we stay, we need to get a plan together." Sam said breaking the silence.

"Aren't the other bodies and the cattle in another town?" Sara asked.

"Yeah. Bout 45 minutes up the road." Dean nodded as he sat at the table. Sara wandered back over and sat with them.

"We can go there and see what we find. Scope out any abandoned properties that might make for a good hiding spot for a nest." Sam nodded.

"Lee's only a city cop. He has no jurisdiction outside of the city limits. We can change motels if we need to. I don't care. But I want to work this case. So let's quit talking about it and get in the damn car."

Sam smiled at her, knowing that she wasn't taking no for an answer.

Dean too looked up to her with a look on his face, though his was much harder to place. Sara struggled to know if he was angry, or worried, maybe there's a slim chance he'd be proud of her for wanting to stand her ground. But until she could figure that out, she knew it was best to just stay out of his way.

"Fine. Let's go." Dean said as he stood and pulled his jacket back on. Sam followed and did the same. Five minutes later they were on the road again, and Sara's mind ran away from her once more.

She remembered her graduation night. How obnoxiously loud Lee and all of his buddies were in the stands, making sure she had the loudest applause in the entire ceremony. When she found him outside the stadium afterwards he held 3 dozen red roses in his hand, surrounded by baby's breath and wrapped in white ribbon. Anna's family had invited the two of them to dinner, but Lee had other plans and while at first she felt disappointed she was awe struck when he drove her to the lake house, the dock lit by candles and covered in petals all the way down to the end.

She remembered the way they tangled themselves in blankets and spent almost the entire night on that dock with a pizza box and an ice chest full of drinks.

As much as she promised herself she'd never go back there again, her mind trailed to how gentle he was the first time he laid with her. How softly he spoke, and the way he constantly aimed to make sure she felt comfortable and safe.

The sound of car doors shutting caused her to jump again.

Dean stood and watched as she scurried from the backseat, nervous energy written all over her body. She put on a smile and tried so hard to fake them out, but they knew better. They knew she was stuck in her head- but what infuriated Dean was not knowing why.

He told himself over and over again that she couldn't be that afraid of him, she knows she's safe with himself and Sam at her side. He'd promised her that man would never touch her again and he would keep it despite any consequence that arrived.

He refused to let himself even think about the fact that maybe she missed him. How could she miss a man who hurt her? A man who abused her and took advantage of his position to hide it.

"Let's go." He finally said as she stood in front of him, he didn't reach to place his hand on the small of her back like he usually would. Instead he pointed with his head for her to walk ahead of him, Sam walking ahead of her. He made sure to keep her between them when out in the open, but once inside he pulled himself away and walked over to the older woman at the desk.

"Excuse me." He charmed. "I was hoping you could point me in the right direction."

"What ya need hun?" She said not bothering to look up at him, but rather flipping through a trashy tabloid and smacking her gum.

"Uhhh- was hoping you could point me in the direction of the man that deals with the cattle around here. Maybe the ranch owner? Hired hand?"

"Martin manages the cattle. Carl deals with the horses and the mules."

"Right. Martin, where might he be then?"

"Drive a mile down the road, you'll see the red gate, hit the buzzer and someone should be around."

"Great." He smiled, but he wasn't sure why since she never bothered to look up at him before he walked away.

"Go back to the car and drive up?" Sam asked. Dean nodded in agreement.

"Uh, its just a mile. Mind if I walk it… might be a good idea to see if there's any vacant property we could overlook from the car."

"Not alone- but Sam can walk with you." Dean said as he stepped out the door and held it open for them

"Okay. Sam, you good with that?"

"Sure." He smiled to Sara.

Dean didn't say another word. He just moved back to the car and got in the driver's seat before starting the car and pulling away.

"Is he mad?" Sara asked watching the trail of dust behind him on the dirt road.

"Nah. He's not happy about staying on the case, but I think we both understand why you feel the need to stay and tough things out. I just hope it was the right move."

"Sam…"

"Yeah?"

"I uh- I kinda gave the two of you a light version of that story."

"What do you mean?"

"When I told you guys about Lee, I didn't know you then like I do now and I didn't want you or Dean to look at me differently."

"Sara, you know we would never have judged you. What's the real version?"

"It went on for months. I just couldn't understand what I did wrong when it started, I tried everything to fix it. To be better for him."

"I thought he lost his job and that was what triggered the drinking?"

"No." Sara sighed as they kept walking. "He lost his job because Anna wrote a letter to his chief the night I was brought into the ER."

"For work… or?"

"He tried to bash my skull in." Sara whispered emotionless. "They said it was a miracle I didn't have some sort of brain damage. I guess they were right… angels. Miracles. Who knew."

"Sara." Sam said stopping and pulling her to face him. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"You would have judged me…. Dean. Would have judged me for it."

"No one's judging here. Just. Worried about you, especially now. I had no idea it was that bad."

"I didn't want anyone to know it was that bad. I didn't want them to look down at me… not when I had just finally made something of myself in life."

"You know Dean's going to find out… if you don't tell him then Lee probably will."

"Doubt it." Sara snorted. "Somehow he got off easy. Connections. Lies. He never fessed up to anyone, not even to me. Texted me dozens of times saying it was my fault for picking a fight before I fell down the stairs, which would be half right if the stairs were involved but they weren't. Just me, him, and the room he dragged me into."

"You know it wasn't though right?"

"I do now." She said with a smile as she moved to keep walking. He matched her pace.

"Where do you keep going? When you're distracted."

"The past." She sighed.

"Do you miss him?"

"No." She answered quickly. "But… I do miss who he was when I fell in love with him. Who he was when I was so sure he would be the man I would marry and raised a family with. That Lee wasn't real, that Lee was an act… a dream. Something he faked so well."

"So when did it start going south?"

"I was working a lot of hours. Late nights. Overtime. A lot of men in and out of the ER between the Sherriff's departments, the fire men, medics and EMTs, and the docs and male nurses."

"So he got jealous?"

"Yeah. Pretty much. Just started accusing me of things that I had never even dreamed of doing. There was a night he was out on patrol and brought in a drunk, he walked over to the desk and grabbed me by the arm because I was sitting between a couple of our EMT's."

"Wow… talk about insecure."

"It was never the same after that. He made me cut my hours. Got mad if I went out with Anna after dark. Made comments about things not getting done at home. Went through my phone records."

"… You really never thought to leave? Not once?"

"Of course I did. But, I wanted back the Lee I met and fell for. The one who followed me home and made sure I was safe after he helped me when I was stranded on the side of the road after a night shift. He walked me all the way to my door. Making sure I locked it before he left. A week later he pulled me over and instead of giving me a ticket, he gave me a piece of paper with his number on it."

"How long… before you tried to leave?"

"A few months. I told him I had enough and that I was going to stay with Anna. Suddenly he became MY Lee again, the apologies and the gifts. He promised me it would never happen again- until it did. And then again… and then I tried to leave."

"That's the night he tried to kill you?"

"Honestly I don't know if that's what he wanted. I mean if he killed me then how would he get to control me? How would he own me? I think he just lost his mind when I ran for the door."

Sam watched as Sara's face began to glaze over again, her mind going elsewhere. Back to that night no doubt. Back to that fear and pain.

"Sara." Sam said stopping again as he reached for her. He pulled her mind back to the present as Dean and the impala came into sight ahead of them. "You never have to see him again… okay?"

"I know." She smiled as she leaned into him.

Dean was standing on one side of the fence, speaking to a man wearing a cowboy hat from the other side.

Sam made his way towards them, Sara stayed leaned against the car. They spoke for maybe another 10 minutes or so before making their way towards her.

"Get anything?"

"Yeah. Cattle was pretty banged up from coyotes, but it had been drained of blood… the found that odd since there wasn't barely any on the ground. Sounds to me like a vamp." Dean grinned as he pulled open his door. Sara followed lead and climbed back in.

…..

…..

…..

"Okay. I'm tired." Sara said as she stretched her arms up over her heard and pulled one to the side to pop her shoulder. "I'm gonna take a quick shower and head to bed."

"Okay." Sam smiled to her as he and Dean kept digging through maps of the county and property addresses.

Sara walked into the bathroom and took her time to brush out her hair, brush her teeth, finally undress and step under the hot water. It was relaxing, it washed away the feeling of Lee's hands on her body. Something she thought she'd never have to wash away again. She continued to scrub, moving to shampoo her hair and rinse it out. She turned to face the water stream but aimed it down towards her chest and shoulders while she let the hot water warm her body. Dean wasn't lying when he told her to pack warm clothes, it was freezing at night here.

She looked up as she moved to rub at the back of her neck and shoulders, but something caught her eye. She didn't want to make it obvious so she slowly turned, moving backwards until her body was pressed against the shower wall in front of the stream of water. She looked directly up and her stomach sank, there was something small wrapped around the neck of the shower head. A tiny lens pointed in the same direction as the water flowed.

She was sure it was a camera, but who the fuck does that?! She was frozen, keeping her body pressed against the cold tile wall under the shower head where she prayed she was out of range for the camera to see. She carefully reached out and grabbed a towel off the rack, pulling it around her body.

"Dean…" She called out, trying to keep her voice steady as she swallowed down her urge to run out of the bathroom and never look back. She waited maybe 10 seconds before a knock on the door.

"Sara? You call my name?" He asked from the other side of the door.

"Yeah." She said trying to force her voice not to sound shaky. "Can you come here for a minute? I need your help."

Dean turned to look at Sam confused… Sam shrugged. Dean's mind split in 2 different directions. Either Sara was fixing to make one hell of a bold move, or something was wrong. Either way he was coming in.

He opened the door and moved towards the shower, noting that Sara was against the tile and wrapped in a towel. Her messy wet dark hair flopped mostly to one side as she chewed at her thumb nervously.

"You good?" He asked, confused by her stance and avoidance of the water. "Water running too cold?"

"Uh…" Sara looked down and swallowed, trying to figure out how to tell him outside of the camera's view and praying it didn't have good audio- at the very least hoping the sound of the water would drown her out if she spoke softly enough.

She used her hand to wave him closer towards her, Dean was hesitant but stepped forward. Sara reached out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him as close to the wall and herself as she could before reaching up to put her face next to his.

Dean wasn't sure he was breathing. He asked himself if this was some sort of nervous foreplay.

He leaned down closely and a chill ran down his arms as her hot breath blew against his ear.

"Dean, I'm trying not to freak out or be obvious here." Sara said struggling to push the fear out of her voice. "I- I think there's a camera in the shower."

Dean was instantly in hunter mode, pulling away from her with a wide eyes and hard glare.

"Where?"

"Above me. Shower head."

Dean leaned in until he was practically leaning over her, she took the chance to lean her forehead against his chest and squeeze his shirt into one of her hands as he inspected the same tiny lens and black wiring that caught her eye. Part of him was impressed she realized it was there since he had missed it himself when he showered, the other part was down right furious that anyone might have a video of Sara naked in the shower.

"Sara, get out." Dean said stepping to the side to give her room to step out.

"Won't they realize we found it?"

"I don't fucking care."

Sara took his words to heart and quickly reached out to grab his arm and steady her wet feet on the cheap vinyl flooring. Dean pulled open the bathroom door and pulled Sara behind him as he froze- searching the room with his eyes.

"What the hell?" Sam asked as Dean pushed Sara out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, the look on her face suggesting she was scared.

"Rooms bugged. Camera in the shower." Dean stated as he moved and began checking other items in the room. Lamps, drawers, ceiling fan, no corner was safe. Sam moved to follow his lead.

"Son of a bitch…" Dean muttered as he pulled a camera and snapped the wire when he broke it loose from the bottom corner of their TV- the one directly across from their beds.

"Hey. Got another one." Sam said as he pushed over the curtain at the top of the railing, this camera likely giving someone a view of the entire room from the corner.

"Sara." Dean said moving towards her. "Where are your clothes?"

"My bag- in the floor." She said turning back towards the bathroom. Dean moved and grabbed in, pulling it out and setting it at her feet as he pulled a blanket off the bed and held it up between them.

"Get dressed."

Sara didn't have to be told twice. She rushed to put on some clothes, even if it was sweats and a hoodie. Who needs underwear when someone just watched you shower?

"I'm good."

Dean dropped the blanket and tossed it back on the bed. Sam began to think back to the night before when they first entered the room, had they really missed these before? Dean didn't waste time thinking, he only began throwing their things into bags and putting those bags near the door.

"Dean where are we going?"

"Anywhere but here." He growled.

"Dean… I don't think these were here last night." Sam said as he moved to the shower and inspected the one placed there. He pulled it down and began to examine the showerhead around it.

"They're here now." He said moving to open the door and carrying things outside. Sara slid on her warn soft boots that she only wore around the motel or the bunker to keep her feet warm. She was freezing and her hair still wet, she was however eager to leave this room.

"Okay- let's go." Dean ushered them out to the car.

Sara climbed into the backseat and pulled her knees up.

"Who does shit like that? Should we tell someone?" She asked as Dean pulled out onto the road.

"Like who- the police we're avoiding?" Dean snorted.

"Dean. I think… I think maybe that's who planted it." Sam said as he thought it out in his head. "I mean we were gone for a few hours, that's plenty of time. He could have followed us from the station."

"You think Lee did this?" Sara asked as her teeth chattered, the cold night air mixing with her cold skin and damp hair. Dean looked back at her from the rearview mirror as Sam turned to face her, noting her face was pale as she shivered.

"Sara, come sit up here. You're gonna freeze back there alone." Sam insisted as he gave two hands to help pull her over the seat as gracefully as possible. Sara didn't argue and climbed over the seat, settling herself between them as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

Dean reached over and placed his arm behind the seat, opening a spot for her to slide against him and steal some of his body heart, which he had plenty of when he was this angry.

"I will shoot his eyes out if I find out he put that camera in the shower."

"We have no way to know or prove it, Dean. Camera wouldn't be able to back trace once we ripped the wires like we did, it's probably someone close by though. The range on those things can't be far." Sam reasoned with him.

"Are we getting another room?" Sara asked pushing her arms inside of her hoodie.

"Yes sweetheart, we'll get you warmed up." Dean said softly, not bothering to look at her but rather keep his eyes on he road. She wondered if she should pull away, he had been off all afternoon since their run in with Lee, distant almost.

"Thank you." She muttered. Looking up to Sam who tried to give her an encouraging smile.

…..

…..

…..

Sara had the blanket pulled up to her shoulders. Sam set the heat on something comfortable in the middle of everyone's request and tossed Sara the extra blanket out of the closet.

"Thanks." She smiled as she laid down and bundled under the two blankets.

She watched as Sam laid down a devil's trap and salt, she didn't attempt to keep up with Dean as he searched their entire room for anything remotely similar to a camera.

"I think we're good." Dean sighed as he finally walked over and sat on his side of the bed.

"Think I should be worried about being the next internet amateur porn girl?" She asked him as he kicked off his shoes and traded his jeans for loose pajamas.

"Depends." He said as he looked over his shoulder with a classic Dean grin. "What were you doing in there?"

"Dean!" She giggled and blushed, swinging a pillow against his back.

"I mean…"

"I was washing my hair you perv." She scalded playfully as he finally laid down and pulled the string on the lamp. He didn't answer as he settled and Sara wondered if he was still irritated at her. Whether he would admit it or not she could tell that he was.

Sam was already asleep. It baffled her that he could fall asleep so quickly, but she couldn't complain since it left her the opportunity to hide behind the darkness when she turned over and faced Dean.

"Hey." She mumbled, barely seeing his head turn towards her. "Are you mad?"

"At who?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "You've not said much since we got back to the motel earlier today."

He just sighed in response.

Sara's hands began to knot in he blanket, twisting over and over again. She pulled her eyes away from his face, not wanting to just stare at him while he actively avoided her question. This was one of the several reasons she was thankful for the dark.

Dean's hand landed on hers and she jumped slightly as he gripped it softly.

"Stop fidgeting, Sara. I'm not mad at you."

She didn't answer, but just pulled her hands back around her pillow. Dean turned and finally laid facing her. She had come to learn the shape of his face, so well that she swore she could see it in the dark as clearly as the day. His eyes however, they always seemed a little different at night. Something in the way he looked at her, or maybe… it was because of the way she looked at him.

"I want to leave. I want to drag you across six state lines and never come back here again. I'm mad that I can't, but… you have every right to make the choice you made. I can't be the person who denies you the right to choose something for yourself where he's concerned. He's a shithead, and I'll kill him and honestly I wonder if you'll be upset when I do."

"I don't want you to be the only person who doesn't know." Sara sighed.

"Know what?"

"I told Sam earlier today… Things between Lee and I didn't go quite like I told you before."

"Okay…" Dean said leaning up on his elbow and watching her carefully.

"Dean it wasn't just a few times… it went on for a while. He wasn't always like that, and I loved him. I thought I had done something wrong, and so I stayed because I thought maybe I could find a way to fix it and things would go back to the way they were before."

"Why did you lie?" He asked gently, no sound of anger behind it.

"Because I barely knew you. I didn't want you to make assumptions about who I was as a person. You and Sam had already seen me as a terrified girl you had to protect. As the weak one. I didn't want to add to that."

"Sara, you had just lost your only family. You had been kidnapped by an angel and found out demons were hunting you. I never thought you were scared or weak, that's enough to send anyone over the edge."

"The night that I was finally going to leave… to run. He came home early and saw my bags by the door. He cornered me, and I tried to run. But I wasn't fast enough, and he grabbed me and dragged me into the bedroom. I don't remember what he used, or if he was the one who called the ambulance… I don't even remember when Anna got there. I just woke up and I was in our ER. Trauma bay 3, Anna was there with Dr. Mathers and a few of our nurses."

"How bad was it?"

"If I tell you are you going to be mad?"

"Maybe." He pushed, but kept his answer honest.

"Dean. Its behind me. It's a part of my past… please don't let it be a part of my life now. Don't let it change your decision to let us work this case."

"How bad?" He asked after a moment of silence between them.

"Whatever he used put a dent in my skull… they said it was a miracle I woke up. Even more so that I didn't have permanent brain damage. No hemorrhage… I guess my grace healed it pretty quickly. I still had the bruises. I still felt the pain. But. I survived it."

"How is he still a cop?" Dean huffed.

"He lied. Had connections… I don't know how he got off but Anna wrote a letter to his chief that at least cost him his job in Colorado. He told me today that he had to find a place where they wouldn't go digging into his past."

"Sara you should have never been in that office alone with him today."

"And let him blow our cover?" She challenged. "Let him separate us for a lot longer than just a few minutes? No thank you… He would have had the two of you in a cell and who knows what he would have done with me."

"You're assuming that I would have ended up behind bars."

"Dean. We were surrounded in a police station by cops- HIS department."

"Sweetheart I always have a plan, he would never have separated us. Maybe Sam or I would have stayed behind and the other ran with you but one of us would have been with you."

"I would never forgive myself if something happened to one of you- especially if it's about my past coming back to haunt me."

"Everyone's past haunts them. Trust me on that." Dean said with a sad smile.

"Give me your hand." She whispered as she reached out for it. He complied without a word.

Sara put his hand against her head and used hers to guide his finger tips to slide against the scar and the dent that to this day sends a shiver down her spine when she almost forgets about it and suddenly finds it again. She dropped her hand but his remained as he slid his finger tips across the scar. He wondered why he had never noticed it before, but surely enough it was there, just below the indentation left behind by a man who might as well have been a monster.

"I never thought you were weak, Sara. Not then. Not now."

"I was… but I'm not anymore."

…..

…..

…..

It was the middle of the night. A noise pulled Dean awake, he lifted only his head as he watched the outline of someone move past the window to their room. The lights from outside casting the shadow as the person lifted their hands and attempted to peer through the blinds into their room. He moved slowly, not wanting to wake and scare Sara. He slid his gun out from under the pillow and walked slowly towards the door, a low whistle to Sam.

It was enough to wake him and catch his attention as he too moved slowly off the bed, weapon in hand. Sam slid against the wall beside the window and Dean against the door. The man outside their room moved and suddenly the door knob began to jiggle back and forth, as if someone was attempting to pick the lock. Dean watched as Sara began to stir, and grabbed the handle to still it.

This spooked the man on the other side and they listened as the footsteps grew further away. Dean yanked the door open and barely caught the sight of the man in a black hat jump into the passenger seat of a truck before it sped away. He grabbed a partial plate and moved back inside.

"Run the plate." He said scribbling it down and handing it to Sam.

"Yeah." Sam nodded and took it before sitting down with his laptop. "We need to ditch this room and I guess pay the money for a hotel with real security."

"Yeah. Let's not tell her. I don't know any vamps who feel the need to hide behind a hat and a jacket. That was a person, and I'm pretty sure I know who."

"I was worried about that." Sam sighed. "He's not gonna just go away. We're gonna have to deal with this one way or another Dean."

"Oh I plan on it."

"We have to do this the smart way, we can't get caught and I don't want her to see it."

"Okay." Dean nodded up and down. "Run the plate in the morning. Let's get some sleep while we can."

"I'll run it and be done in a few minutes. Give us a place to start tomorrow."

"Okay." Dean nodded as he pulled his hand down his face and go back in the bed.

When the sun came up, Sara rolled over in the bed and found it empty beside her. Sam was gone too. She sat up and looked around realizing the bathroom door was open, and she was actually alone. This never happens, and she felt on edge. She stood and grabbed her gun, remembering what Dean had taught her. Just as she stepped off the bed the door swung open.

"Whoa." Dean said with his hands in the air. "I'm kinda impressed."

"Dean." Sara sighed. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"All I did was walk in the door."

"Where is Sam?"

"Chasing down a lead. I just stepped out to grab something outta the car."

"Sorry. I guess I was a little jumpy." Sara said setting the gun back down on the table.

"Don't apologize. You didn't pull the trigger this time."

"DEAN!"

"I'm kidding! I'm just messing with you." He assured her as he walked over and pecked the side of her head before moving past her to the fridge.

"What are we doing today?"

"Going to scope the area for a nest hide out."

"Okay. I'm gonna get dressed."

"Sara." Dean paused. Debating on whether or not to tell her. "Just. Make sure you wear something warm."

"Okay." She smiled before disappearing behind the bathroom door.

…..

…..

…..

"Wow. This place is creepy. How'd you find it?" Sara asked looking through the binoculars at the run down barn on the opposite side of the property. They were sure to lay close to the ground and they had the car parked a ways off. No risk of being seen or of someone catching their scent from this distance.

"Was out following up on a plate and came across this on the way back. It's a perfect spot really. Not too close or too far from town. The road is barely used so they could snag someone and ditch their car and no one would probably even know." Sam explained.

"Okay, well. We can't go in at night. Too dangerous. We need to attack during the day. They'll be caught off guard and they'll be at their weakest if the sun's out."

"Yeah. Today's kinda shaded and it's already noon. I agree we do this in the morning."

"Okay. The morning it is. Do we have everything we need?" Sara asked.

"Machetes. Fresh jar of dead man's blood. Should be good to go." Dean explained.

"I'm gonna hurl if you say that again."

"Well at least you didn't have to go to the morgue to get it." He teased her back.

"Okay. Let's get out of here. I counted 6 this morning." Sam said as he stood and moved to walk back. Sara and Dean right on his heels.

"Six vampires? Like… we'll take them on all at once?" She asked getting skiddish. Sara had only been on a vamp hunt where a rogue one got sloppy in the city. She'd never been to a nest.

"We'll take out the guard first. Someone will be by the door. Once we get them then it's just a matter of trying to finish off as many as we can before they wake up." Dean explained.

"Are we sure they'll be asleep."

"If they're like most of the other nests we've knocked out half will be sleeping, the other half will be passed out drunk. Don't worry, Sara. You've trained for this. Just stay close and watch our backs, get one if you can and if not then we'll take care of it."

"I wasn't nervous… but. Now I kinda am." She admitted as the impala came into view.

"What the hell…" Dean muttered. Sara looked up and her stomach sank as she saw Lee leaned against the impala. Dean moved forward and Sam stayed at Sara's side. I hand on the small of her back as they kept their distance.

"What can I do for you, officer?" Dean asked with a cocky smile.

"Oh, looks like you folks are trespassing. Gotta call about a suspicious vehicle. I gotta say… she's a nice ride. I'd love to have a look inside."

"Be my guest." Dean grinned as he pulled open the driver side door and Lee leaned downward and looked around briefly. His eyes instantly drawn to Sara's clothes in the back seat. Her make up bag in the floorboard."

"Be the trunk has tons of space." He said as he stood toe to toe with Dean, his hand resting on his utility belt close to his firearm.

"Well now are you asking or telling?" Dean challenged.

"Asking… for now."

"Well then, as a courtesy from one law enforcement agency to the other I'd be happy to show off Baby here."

"The bureau pay for this?"

"Nope. All mine." Dean smiled as he lifted the trunk, the false floor in place and hiding everything Lee truly didn't need to see.

Sara watched with knots in her stomach and tension in her hands as the two men circled the vehicle and took their time, allowing Lee to have access to what she now felt was an extension of her home. It felt… wrong. Sam pulled an arm around her shoulder and scooter her closer to him but quickly dropped it back behind her before Lee looked up.

"You know. I've never met FBI agents quite like the two of you." Lee said as he turned away from the trunk, Dean closing it behind him as he moved back towards Sam and Sara.

"We're a little different, but we get the job done." Sam assured him.

"It's almost like… you're not agents at all." Lee smiled.

"Lee. Stop screwing around." Sara said pulling his attention.

"Baby I don't think you can talk to me about screwing around when you're cuddled up in bed with Agent Plant over here." He gestured to Dean who was only a few feet to the side of him.

Sara was caught off guard by his statement. Unable to reply as she realized he was the one who planted the cameras, but… how long had they been there?

"You son of a bitch." Dean chuckled, but there was no humor behind it. "You think you got it all figured out huh?"

"I'll tell you what I do have figured out." Lee said turning back to Dean. "I made you the moment you rolled into town with her in the backseat. Then you had the nerve to enter my station, and lie to my chief with some cheap knock off badges."

"It's a shame you'd have to turn in the footage you recorded without cause or consent for anyone to believe you."

"Oh. I have better plans for the footage I caught." Lee smiled at Dean before turning to look at Sara. "By the way Baby, you're looking good as always. That tattoo on your back new?"

Dean snapped and flew a fist forward, connecting it to Lee's jaw and knocking him to the dirt where he caught himself on his hands and knees. Laughing as he spit the blood out of his mouth. Sara watched with wide eyes, knowing that she might watch this man die right in front of her. While he deserved everything he had coming, she didn't know if she could bare to watch it. Sam grabbed her and placed himself in front of her, pulling her sideways towards the car.

"You're gonna destroy every bit of that footage, or I'll make sure they pry it out of your throat during the autopsy." Dean threatened as Lee moved to stand again, a look in his eyes that Sara was all too familiar with. He's moments away from snapping.

"If you think the lips you were kissing tasted good, wait till your tasting the other ones it's like hot sex and dessert at the same time." Lee provoked. Dean took the bait and swung again, knocking Lee back down to the dirt.

"You don't get to talk about her anymore." Dean reminded him as he put his boot to Lee's neck. Lee was unbothered by it, which only scared Sara more. Dean however was only getting angrier by the second as he plastered that petty grin across his bloody lips.

"Has she let you put it i-" Lee started to taunt Dean again, but this time a boot cracked against his rib cage and he screamed out in pain.

"You done talking?" Dean asked as he watched the man drag himself back to a standing position. Seeming unphased by getting his ass kicked. Dean knew then and there that this man would have to die. He wouldn't stop. He wouldn't break. He couldn't be scared off… and now he knew too much about Sara's new life.

"Okay okay." He said holding up his hands. "How about you just tell me who you really are, and what the hell you're doing in my town."

"Investigating the murders you stubborn ass." Sara growled at him as she took a step towards him. "I didn't lie about that. So are you done now?"

"Oh baby." Lee smiled as he moved to walk towards her, but Dean quickly stepped into his path. Lee looked down to his feet and smiled before looking back up to her. "I'm just getting started."

With that Lee winked to her, and then smiled to Dean before spitting more blood on the ground near his feet. He then walked back to his patrol car and drove away. Dean stood in the road and watched until he was completely out of sight.

"Get in the car." He said not looking up to Sam or Sara as he started the engine and punched the gas as all of the doors closed. The ride back into town and towards the closest restaurant was silent. No one spoke a word, Sam left his hand leaned over the back of the seat and kept it on Sara's knee to keep her from bouncing it up and down so vigorously the car shook. He squeezed and massaged, hoping to calm her some but she still felt like she could come apart at the seams. Like she was now going to have to look over her shoulder every minute of the day until they were far from this place and that man.

Dean pulled into the parking lot and got out, leaving Sam and Sara to follow as they walked in to the hostess stand.

"Hi, how many?" She asked him with a friendly grin.

"Three." He answered without looking her in the eye, merely scanning the room instead. Sam pushed gently for Sara to follow behind Dean as they made their way to the booth. Sara moved to slide into the seat closest to Sam but Dean reached out for her arm and gently pulled her towards him, gesturing to the open seat. Without a word she slid in and he followed.

"Okay, your server will be with you in just a few minutes." The host smiled as she laid down menus and moved on. Tex-Mex was always a good choice in Sara's mind, but she couldn't find any food appetizing when her stomach was still doing flipping back and forth.

"You want your usual?" Dean asked, not looking at her while he skimmed the menu.

"Sure." She nodded, speaking around the tightness in her throat. Sam bumped her under the table with his foot, she looked up to him and he asked with a simple look of his eyes if she was okay, and her quick but unconvincing smile was his reply.

The waitress came around and Dean ordered for her, when he finished and leaned back he swung his arm over the back of the seat behind her out of habit. She usually leaned into it, but this time she was hunched over with her elbows resting on the table. He noticed her hesitancy and waited before speaking.

"Sara." He finally said softly, still not looking at her. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" She mumbled confused.

"Don't let him take your peace of mind. Don't let him upset you. Don't let him throw you off your game. He doesn't get to do that anymore. Don't give it to him."

"Okay." Sara said as she swallowed around the lump in her throat. Her mind running a million miles an hour jumping between the way he spoke about her to Dean, the fact that he had camera footage of them- all of them, but most specifically her at her most vulnerable points.

"Hey." Dean said getting her attention as she finally fell into his green eyes. "I will get those tapes destroyed. I promise you. Don't let that upset you, okay?

"I don't really even care about the tapes. It's the way he… asked for it. Took it with a smile. He's like a sociopath, and there's no telling what lengths he'll go to."

"Sara, he's going to die." Dean said all too calmly, it pulled her stomach back into knots. "He made himself very clear. I'm not going to talk to you about it, but please understand that he's no less a monster than the vamps at this point. Honestly, he's the bigger threat. He's gotta go, sweetheart."

"I know." She whispered as a tear fell off her cheek. "I'm sorry you have to clean up my mess."

"Not your mess anymore, Sara." Sam told her. "It's our mess, and we've cleaned house for a lot less than this. You don't have to worry about it anymore, okay?"

She nodded her head up and down but didn't want to speak. Didn't want them to hear her voice shake, or see her face falter as she thought about Lee's death. Knowing its coming before it happens. Knowing that Dean's going to do it. She couldn't land on only one emotion if her life depended on it. She felt them all… she didn't want to feel anything.

…..

…..

…..

Sara laid in bed of the new motel room. It was nearly four in the morning and she hadn't slept for even an hour. She merely laid there soaking up the warmth coming from Dean's side. She turned to face away from him. Wanting to stare at the wall and having nothing stare back at her.

Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him. Sometimes it was the man she once loved, other times it was the man who became the monster. When the clock finally struck 430 she felt as if she had an excuse to get out of bed and shower. Checking the bathroom just to be sure before getting undressed.

Sam was the next one awake, noting that Sara was up and around before him. This wasn't uncommon in the bunker but it rarely happened when they were on the road and she shared a bed with Dean. He waited patiently for her to finish and greeted her with a fresh cup of coffee when she finally came out.

"Thanks." She whispered sitting across from him.

"You ready to take down a nest?"

"As ready as it gets." She lied.

"Sara, if you don't wanna do this we don't have to."

"No. I do. We found them, we have a plan, we can't leave now and let someone else die before another hunter gets here."

"Okay. Let's knock it out and go home."

An hour later Dean was awake, and they were loading the car to head to the nest as the sun started to rise. This time he parked the car further off the road and out of sight, hoping to deter any visitors again.

"Okay. Remember. Dead man's blood and off with the head. It's the only things that work."

"Yes." Sara said as she checked her waist band for the knife she had dipped in the blood, leaving a thick sticky coat of it to dry before she placed it in its plastic sheath. On her thigh was her pistol, with bullets filled with dead man's blood designed to burst open on impact. In her hands was the machete.

"You got this sweetheart, you'll never feel a rush like the one you're fixing to get."

"Let's do it." She nodded, pushing her confidence to the surface to at least reassure them since she couldn't reassure herself. She carefully stalked through the grass and trees leading up to the barn. They laid low and watched as two of the vamps who had gathered outside moved inside and shut the door, the sunlight peering in from the horizon now.

"Sara. Stay close to one of us. Okay?" Sam reminded her. She nodded. Her hands shook but she swallowed down her anxiety and reminded herself that she HAD to do this, and do it right because Sam and Dean's lives were on the line and they deserved at least that much from her.

They moved carefully. Dean motioned for them to split onto either side of the barn as they circled from the back towards the front. Just as they had assumed, there was one vamp playing guard on the inside of the door. Dean pulled at the window he was using to look in and attempted to bust it loose form the frame without shattering any glass. With a few hard tugs and pressure in the right places with Sam's help, they were able to remove the window and allow themselves an access or escape point.

"Sara. Door." Dean called motioning for her to step forward and pull the door slowly, revealing the first vamp perched just inside. Before he could make a move or alert his friends Dean swung and his head dropped to the ground with a thud.

Sara turned and held back her gag reflex. Knowing this wasn't the time to get squeamish. She COULD and she WOULD see this through.

They moved further into the barn and it was clear they had done a poor job of the math. There were at least 10 sleeping vamps spread throughout the barn. Sara's hand shook slightly as she kept her machete up. She looked up to Dean who waved for her to follow Sam to the other side. If they could stand between the vamps and both exits then they could start trying to pick them off one at a time.

Dean moved first, slicing the vamp who laid alone on the ground. His whiskey bottle still dripping out beside him. Sam was next, moving to the woman leaned against an old stable door. But the noise seemed to wake the one closest to them, Sara turned and out of instinct just swung the blade in the direction of the movement.

She gasped as she felt her blade connect, and then become free again. The vamp fell to the ground, his head off to the side. She looked up to Sam with pure terror on her face, he moved towards her to calm her but a vamp leaned up from the ground with a hiss as she grabbed him by the ankle and twisted it causing him to stumble and fall.

"Hunters!" Another one growled, signaling the rest awake.

Dean was like a machine. He moved through them so quickly, so efficiently that Sara couldn't bring herself to look away. She backed herself near the door, assuring herself that she would stay there incase one tried to slip past and run. Incase one of the boys needed her to be available to help at a moment's notice.

She watched as Dean struggled with two of the last vamps left, while Sam wrestled the largest of them all to the ground. She moved to go towards Dean and help him even the numbers but as she went to take a step she was pulled backwards, a hand over her mouth as she tried to scream. Her machete falling to the ground.

"Shhhh… I got you baby." Lee shushed her as he pulled her against his chest. "Don't worry. I'll get you out of here. I'll get you somewhere safe. Okay?"

She cried and attempted to shake her head back and forth but his grip was tight and allowed her very little ability to move.

"I don't know what the hells going on here, but you're safe now." He assured her again as he pulled them towards the door. He pulled her pistol out of her holster and placed it in his back pocket.

"Lee! Stop.. Please you don't understand!" She begged as he released her mouth, pulling them towards the exit. She pulled and fought back against his grip.

"Sara we gotta get outta here!" The fear in his face was real. The concern for her safety felt authentic for the first time in a long time.

"No, wait! We hav-"

Sara's words were interrupted and turned into a blood curdling scream as she watched a vampire appear from behind Lee and begin to ravish his throat. Blood spraying across her in the process.

Dean heard her scream from across the barn and ran towards her, shoving the last of the vamps to the ground as he went, Sam not far behind finishing him off. As they finally approached her they found a vamp that had not been with the group sinking its teeth into Lee's neck as his panicked face focused on Sara. Dean moved quickly, pulling her aside and then swinging. The blade connected with the vampire just as he released and let Lee fall to the ground.

"Sara!" Dean yelled rushing over to her where she sat against the wall hyperventilating as she stared at Lee. He twitched, the sound of him choking on the blood as he tried to drag air into his body was carving itself into her mind.

"Sara don't look." Dean begged as he knelt in front of her and put a hand on either side of her face, pulling her to look at him instead. Her breathing was short and rapid. Sam leaned down over Lee and did him the courtesy of putting him down with a bullet.

Sara cried out at the sound of the gun, trying to force herself to breathe but she couldn't.

"Sara." Sam said as he bent down beside her. "Sara look at me. Look at us… Okay, its over. It's all over."

"Should-I. I-I should try- try to save, L-lee." She tried to push the words out between her half breaths.

"He's gone, sweetheart." Dean said as he rubbed his thumb across her cheek, keeping her face focused straight ahead on him and him only. Hoping to walk her out of the building without allowing her to see the carnage behind them.

She nodded her head up and down, her breathing was slower but still far too fast for her to be getting enough oxygen to her brain or body. Dean pulled her up to stand, she gripped his arms like they were the only thing keeping her alive. Sam pushed behind her, doing his best to keep her from being able to turn and look back.

She didn't try. She didn't ask. She just kept moving, walking.

Once they got to the impala and her breathing had began to slow Dean sat her in the driver's seat with her feet resting on the ground.

"Put your head between your knees and try to take a deep breath." He coached her through the last of the choppy breaths. Sam pulled a water from the trunk and walked around towards them, handing it to Dean who yanked off the cap and pushed it towards her. She took a drink, but her eyes never moved. Her hands never moved. She was simply doing as she was told and not a thing else, as if her brain had lost its ability to control her body.

"Sam grab me a rag, we gotta get this blood off or she'll lose it again when she looks in the mirror."

"Yeah." Sam said moving back to the trunk and dousing a handful of gaze with another water bottle and putting them in Dean's hands.

He lifted the wet gauze to her face and wiped back and forth, determined to fix as much of this as he could at this exact moment. She never once looked down to his hand as he kept going. It wasn't until he was done that she turned to see the pile of bloody trash next to them on the ground that she finally felt the push to speak.

"D-Dean." She stuttered slightly. "I-he was there. I didn't know."

"I know, we didn't either… but he's gone. They're all gone now. Okay?"

She didn't speak but merely nodded her head up and down.

"Let's get out of here before someone comes looking. We can clean her up and then get the hell out of here." Sam advised.

"Yeah." Dean nodded as he wet to gently move Sara to the middle of the seat so that he could sit and put the car in drive. This drive like many of the others recently was filled with nothing but the background hum and sound of the radio.

…..

…..

…..

Sara sat in the floor of the shower. Finding herself here yet again letting the hot water wash away every bad thing about her day. She stared as the water went from red to pink. She scrubbed at the feeling of his hands on her body again, and then she cried.

When it was all said and done and the water was now cold she pulled herself to stand and took her time to dry herself off, blow dry her hair down straight, and find something warm to put on. It was still daylight outside but she was exhausted. She couldn't stay awake another hour. She packed all of her things back into her bags, making sure not to leave anything behind and opened the door. She carried her bag to the front door next to Dean's.

"Hey. You good?" Dean asked from the table across from Sam.

"Yeah. Uh… I think. It was just shock." She shrugged, struggling to look up at him but finally managing to drag herself back to the present.

"You ready to go?" Sam asked her.

"Yes."

The answer was brief but confident.

"Okay, I'll load us up."

Dean sat and watched her as she stood there unfocused and practically nodding off standing up.

"Sara, did you sleep last night?"

"No." She answered honestly. She was too far gone to care about lying.

"Are you… sad? About him?"

"No… It wasn't him anymore. He hadn't been himself in a very long time."

"Do you wanna sleep in the car?"

"Yes." She nodded as she mumbled.

"Okay, let's go." Dean said as he walked towards her. She moved to go towards the door, but instead she stopped and turned back. She didn't know why it had to be RIGHT now, but the thought of not doing it seemed worse somehow.

Dean was slightly caught off guard as she stopped mid way and turned back to him. She hesitated for only a second before she walked towards him, stopping only when she reached him and laced her fingers through his shirt. She leaned forward and ever so gently she pressed her lips against his. She only stayed there for a couple of seconds before she pulled back and whispered to him.

"I understand it now… this job. Who you are, why you have to be that person. I see it, and I'm so sorry that the entire world expected the two of you to carry it for us all."

"Sara are yo-"

"I'm fine… I mean. I'm not, obviously because my ex's throat was just ripped to shreds right in front of me and then I didn't move to save him. So. No. But… also yes."

"Sweetheart you're losing me here, what do you need me to do? Can I help at all?"

"I just… I'm sorry, Dean. I just need to sleep."

"Yeah I think that's a understatement. We can talk after you wake up, I promise."

"Yeah. Promise." She nodded, still refusing to let go of him. He looked down at her hands, and then grabbed them with his own, loosely pulling them free.

"Dean." Sara mumbled slightly incoherent. "I wanna go home."