Sara stretched her body out against the sheets, feeling more free than usual when she woke up. She blinked in the soft light coming through the curtain and quickly realized she was naked.
She froze, looked to her right, and there was a very peaceful Dean sleeping. She slowly lifted the blanket and looked down, putting it back and closing her eyes after confirming that he was naked as well. A jolt of panic ran through her, but as the memories of last night filled her mind and told her that it wasn't just a dream she couldn't stop the smile that creeped across her face. She bit down on her lip to try and control it incase Dean woke up.
She didn't want him to wake up to some crazy lady grinning like an idiot.
As she moved to turn and adjust her body there was a slight soreness, another reminder that every thing she'd ever wanted fell into her lap. Every dirty thought. Every 'almost' that set her body on fire and left her to put out the flames.
She had no doubt that sex with Dean Winchester was the best sex she'd ever have.
She turned to face him, and as her eyes fell on his face her mind began to spin in circles.
… He was drunk.
What if he doesn't remember?
What if he didn't mean it?
What if he-
"Hey." A rough voice caused her to jump slightly, not even realizing she had pulled her gaze down to the blankets between them. Dean's hand slid up and he rubbed his thumb on her lower cheek.
"Hey." Sara mumbled back with a soft smile.
"Stop doing that."
"What?"
Her eyes showing her confusion.
"Thinking of a way to get out of it."
She laughed slightly.
"I was actually wondering if you were going to 'forget' about it."
"Sweetheart, I don't think either of us could forget that." He winked with a cocky grin. Sara blushed and pulled her hand up to her mouth as she nervously pulled at her lip. "You good?"
She nodded her head up and down but didn't speak.
Now it was Dean who was nervous there were second thoughts.
"I uh-" Sara paused. Wanting to know what it meant, what happened next.
Were they… together?
Was it a one time thing?
Were they just helping each other blow off steam?
Honestly she didn't know what she was hoping to hear, but she knew she would be disappointed if it never happened again.
Dean's hand slid under the sheet that covered her body and his finger tips slid up and down her thigh and over her hip, causing Sara's body to relax.
"I was wondering if we could get breakfast on the way home?"
"You ready to go home finally?"
"Yeah. I think we earned a few days off."
"I won't argue with you there."
Sara grinned before moving to sit up on the edge of the bed, her back facing Dean as he propped up on his elbow, he looked down and noted the light bruising on the tender skin on the back of her hips.
"You sore this morning?" He asked, worried maybe he had been too rough with her. Especially for their first time together.
"Only in the best way possible." She smiled over her shoulder as she bit down on her bottom lip. This time it was Dean with a blush briefly grazing across his cheeks.
…..
…..
…..
"I'm starving." Sam said as they took a seat at the diner about an hour outside of town. The sign near the road claimed they had the best biscuits and gravy in the state, and Dean was willing to put it to the test.
"Yeah. Me too." Dean said sitting across from her as Sam slid into the seat beside her. He was fairly sure he knew the details of last night, but he was hoping one of them would make the move and be forward in the daylight to display their feelings for one another, yet Dean didn't take the seat beside her.
He watched them carefully as they snuck glances at each other, smiling when they thought he wasn't looking. The waitress came over and took their order, Dean barely even glancing at her despite her efforts to occupy his attention. This time it was Sam who was grinning, noting that Dean most definitely felt different after last night.
It was Sara he couldn't read.
He engaged in their small talk and debates about how long to stay at the bunker and look for a new case. They needed to touch base with Cas and see if there was any update on the demon, make sure Sara's warding was still intact. Finally, Dean took the opportunity to get up and go to the bathroom, and Sam wasted not a single second of time as soon as he was out of earshot.
"Okay. So?" Sam prodded turning to Sara.
She looked up to him like a deer in the headlights. Cheeks red, eyes wide, mouth open but no sound leaving her body.
"Sara, come on. I'm not asking for the details. I just need to know if you two finally coughed up your feelings."
Sara sighed with slight relief, almost panicked at the thought of having to divulge the dirty details.
"Well. I mean, we definitely showed one another how we felt with our bodies."
"Yeah but. Are you two together now?"
"I-I… I don't know." She stuttered. "We didn't get specific."
Sam could read the nerves on her face.
"Well I mean what did he say?" Sam asked ready to punch his brother if he didn't just come out and tell the girl he loved her, because he knew damn well that he did.
"Ummm… we didn't leave much time to talk." Sara blushed again.
"Okay." Sam laughed slightly. "No pressure. No rush. I'm just glad you both got this off your chest. I don't have to watch the two of you torture each other anymore."
"Oh come on… it wasn't that bad."
"The sexual tension in the motel rooms was starting to push it. I'm just glad you guys already had your own room, although maybe next time we don't get them side by side." He teased with a grin.
Sara's whole face went pink as she looked up to him with wide eyes again, he laughed.
"What's so funny?" Dean asked sitting back down.
"Nothing." Sam shook him off, Dean took in the color in Sara's face and was pretty sure he knew what Sam was teasing her about. After all, neither of them aimed to hide anything last night, from each other or the neighboring rooms.
"So when we get back I'll do a re-stock on groceries." Sara mumbled between bites of waffles.
"You wanna go to your favorite Mexican place tonight?" Dean asked, knowing they'd be traveling most of the morning, and after that and a grocery run she'd probably be tired.
"Nahhh, I'm ready for a home cooked meal." She shook her head.
"I never say no that."
"Me neither." Sam agreed.
"Have you looked for anything new, Sam?" She asked.
"No, I was hoping that either you'd wanna take a break or we'd drag you back for one. I figure we'll touch base with Cas and then go from there."
"Have we heard anything new?"
"No." Dean said casually- too casually. Trying to counter the anxiety in her voice to reassure her. "But that's not uncommon, he's got a lot going on."
"Is Cas your only friend? I mean… that's not how I meant it. I just. Like are there… hunting clubs?"
"No." Sam chuckled. "We have friends, but they're kind of all over the place like we are. We don't plan reunions or anything. Usually, we will all just reach out if someone needs help on a case."
"Is it normal for it to be more than a year before you hear from any of them?"
"Yes." Dean smiled. "Why you worried? Afraid you won't be the favorite anymore?"
"I'm not worried." She winked. Dean smiled back putting another piece of bacon in his mouth.
"We'll take you to meet Jody sometime. She's a really good friend."
"Is she a hunter?"
"Sort of. She uh… she was a cop on one of our cases years ago. Lost her son and husband, been in the life ever since. She still stays local and works as the sheriff but she knows when somethings off, can handle small things on her own if they're close by." Sam explained.
"Jody's good people." Dean nodded.
"I hope I get to meet her soon."
"Well, maybe we'll make a trip out there sometime soon."
"You guys ready to roll?" Sam asked as he stood with the check in hand, moving towards the registers.
"Yeah. Im uh, I'm gonna run to the bathroom really quick." Sara said as she stood, she moved to walk forward, but almost ran right into Dean, they smiled awkwardly and both moved to get out of the way but somehow both moved in the same direction.
"Okay." Dean finally said turning his body to the side and letting her walk past. He watched her walk and sighed to himself.
Why did things still feel so unsure between them?
Was she having second thoughts… or was he just being a girl about it.
He shook his head and walked out to the car where Sam was climbing in.
"So. Heard you had a good time last night." Sam mumbled looking straight out the windshield.
"Yes I did." Dean said confidently swinging his head around to look at him, Sam looked back towards him.
"You two an item now?"
"I uhhhhh…" Dean was lost for words, which didn't happen often. "I'm not putting any pressure on it."
Sam shook his head up and down.
"That's fair."
"Why, she say something?"
"No." Sam chuckled. "She looks happy. You look happy. I'm just hoping the two of you are done playing games with each other. It would be nice to see some stability for both of you."
"We're just. Playing it by ear I guess." Dean shrugged, trying not to let himself feel the uncertainty that his own mind uses against him.
"Lets go." Sara said climbing in the backseat, getting a grin from the rearview mirror.
…..
…..
…..
"Hey, you uh… want some company at the store?" Dean said appearing in her doorway as she unpacked a few things and went to change into fresh clothes.
"Depends." She smirked. "You going to carry the bags for me?"
Dean moved towards her, stalking her like she was prey with a dark look in his eyes that melted her to the core. She stood in place until he was close, then she stepped back with small slow steps, Dean advancing further.
"I'll carry more than the bags." Dean said lifting her legs up and allowing them to fall around his body like they belonged there. Sara's grin met Dean's with light, teasing kisses.
"We're never going to make it back in time for dinner if we don't go soon." She teased after a few more minutes of Dean using his lips like a weapon, forcing her into submission under his touch.
"Fine." He groaned as he set her down, she straightened her clothes.
"I'll meet you in the car." He said walking out with a grin.
"Be there in a minute." She chewed on her lip, worried that things were too… good. Feeling like she still might wake up from a dream.
"Oh Anna." She mumbled. "I wish you were here to see this."
"She is." A voice caused her to spin. Sam leaning in the doorway. "I came by to hand you my list, I was hoping you'd grab me a few things."
"Of course I will." Sara assured him moving towards him and taking the paper from him.
"She's always here, Sara. She's gotta be so proud of you. I am."
"Thank you, Sam. I think she handpicked you some days… knew that you would be the only other person I could tell anything to."
"I'd like to think so too."
"I'm scared, Sam."
"Why?"
"Its almost too good to be true… Dean. He's just. I feel like it's a dream I'm going to wake up from. I just knew that he didn't want it… and. Now he does. And I want it. But, it's like we're both holding something back."
"Sara, Dean has wanted this longer than you have. He may not have known, but I could see it. He's not half ass kinda guy. He's an all in kinda guy. Stop holding back, he's following your lead so that he doesn't push you."
"Yeah?" Sara grinned, feeling butterflies in her stomach at the thought.
"Yes." Sam nodded. "Tell him with words this time… body parts after."
She laughed as she walked past him and made her way to the car. She slid into the seat and pushed towards him. He pulled out of the garage and onto the road just as the sun was beginning to go down. Sara listened as he softly sang along to the radio, that unstoppable grin finding her yet again.
"What?" Dean asked, noting her expression.
"I just… don't know how I got this lucky." She said looking up to him with a shoulder shrug, she laid her hand on his knee, and he reached down to link his fingers in hers. As much as the sex was on his mind, he was happy just being intimate with her in other ways as well.
Once they pulled into the store Sara ripped her list in half.
"Here, take a cart and let's hurry back home. I'm thinking we have an early bed time tonight."
She winked at his puzzled face. His lips turned up into a grin.
"I like the way you think sweetheart." He said as he pushed in the opposite direction with dramatic speed. She laughed watching him go.
Sara moved towards the produce, knowing that she'd rather Dean pick up the frozen goods and let her be picky on her fresh fruits and veggies. She kept reaching, trying to find a pack of spinach with the most recent packed date, wanting it to be as fresh as possible.
"Looking for something, darling?" A man said from behind her, noting as she kept digging. His British accent was kind, but the look on his face put her on edge.
"Uh, no. I'm good." She said just taking the one closest to her hand and moving on. She pushed to the next isle over and began to pick through the avocados.
"You're a picky one, aren't you?" The same voice called out, coming from the opposite direction this time.
"I uh, just want to make sure its fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be in the way." She said giving up on the produce all together.
"Oh dear, I'm in no hurry at all. I could wait for an eternity." He smirked.
"Have a good night." She smiled tightly and pushed on search for pasta and sauce, telling herself that she'll go back to the produce when Dean is done and comes back. She browsed up and down the isles casually. She reached for a can of soup, but the one she wanted was just a shelf too high and out of reach, seeming to be low on stock. She did what she had done a hundred times before and stepped onto the bottom shelf and used it to push herself up and reach for the can up top, popping back down with a grin once it was in her hand.
"Careful."
Breath hot on her neck, yet it sent chills down her spine. The accent now not as kind as it had been when she first heard it. She swallowed thickly, knowing that he was close enough behind her he could reach for her gun as quickly as she could at this point, and that it was better not to suggest it was there.
"What do you want?" She asked with a shaky breath. Praying Dean will appear around the corner.
"Oh, I just wanted to say hello." He said as he walked around to her side, she finally looked up to him and he blinked- his eyes flashing black before returning to brown irises.
Sara shuddered and dropped the can from her hand, ignoring the loud sound it made as it hit the floor. She pressed herself backwards into the shelves and reached for her gun.
"Uh uh uh… no good using that in here, you'll cause a scene and I'm certainly bullet proof as I'm sure you know."
"What. Do you want." She repeated.
"Just dropping in on some old friends." He said as he perched against her grocery cart. "Where is that pesky Winchester anyways?"
"Leave them alone." She said, her fear now battling with her inner need to protect them as she pulled her gun from behind her but kept it low against between her hip and the shelf. Audibly pushing the safety off. "It may not kill you, but it will hurt."
"Darling I think you know you're out of your wheelhouse on this one."
"Crowley." Dean growled from six feet away as he turned into the isle. "What the hell are you doing?"
Dean took in Sara's tense posture and her gun in her hand, her eyes flew to his and the look on her face was torn between terror and relief. He moved away from the cart he had been pushing and went to stand beside her.
"Dean he's a demon." She barely got the words past her mouth, her entire body shaking, wondering why in the fuck he wasn't trying to kill him already.
"Yeah, a demon pain in my ass." Dean scoffed as he reached for her gun and slid it back in its holster against her back.
"Squirrel." Crowley smiled. "Care to introduce me to your new friend and explain to me why she's in front of me yet I can't sense her? She has special written all over her, this one."
"She's warded. What are you doing here? You shop at the quick mart these days? Hell getting low on groceries too?"
"Ha ha, very funny." Crowley deadpanned. "Perhaps we can take this elsewhere."
"Fine." Dean groaned reaching back and grabbing Sara's hand in his. With one snap of Crowley's fingers they were standing in the parking lot next to Baby. "Get in."
"Dean wait." Sara whispered. "What the hell is going on?"
"He's mostly harmless, sweetheart. He's not going to hurt you."
"He's a demon?" She said with slight irritation being fed by her fear.
"Actually darling, the name is The King of Hell." He called out from the other side of the car with a grin.
"Lovely." She sighed. Dean opened his door for her to sit in the middle of the front seat beside him and Crowley behind them in the back, but she quickly pulled open the back door instead and climbed in, Dean looked to Crowley and nodded for him to take the front seat. He could tell Sara was uncomfortable, but he was sure that once they were home and he could explain things better then she would calm down.
"So I see you've kept life interesting." He said to Dean as he looked over his shoulder at Sara.
"Sara, can you text Sam and tell him to break the devils trap at the door from the garage?" Dean asked while they drove, looking back at her in the mirror and speaking softly.
"What?! No."
"Sara. Trust me." Dean said turning towards her, his arm moving over the seat to squeeze her knee.
She pulled away from him and brought her knees up in the seat as she pushed herself against the door, as far from Crowley as she could. Her phone felt heavy in her hand as she typed the words.
Sara: On our way home with a demon, Crowley? Dean said break the devils trap. What the fuck, Sam?
Sam: What? Where did he come from?
Sara: The produce section… mind telling me why you guys are buddied up with 'the king of hell'.
Sam: It's a long story, I'll explain later. I promise… he won't hurt you, Sara. He would never cross Dean.
Sara: Great. Yeah. I feel so much better.
Sam: I'm sorry.
Sara sighed as she tossed her phone to the side, Dean watching carefully between her and the road. He could see the fear turning to anger with every mile they drove. By the time they were back at the bunker and in the garage. She waited until both of them were out of the car and moving towards the door to enter inside into the library before she finally opened the door and slowly made her way to them. Dean stopped at the door, holding it open and waiting for her.
"Sara." He said softly as she approached him. She moved to walk past and he gently grabbed her arm.
"What?"
"Please. I promise I would never let him near you if I thought you were in danger. Trust me, just a little sweetheart."
"He's a demon." She repeated as if those words alone should be enough for Dean to split him with Sam's knife.
"He's a… friend. Sort of."
"Sort of." Sara nodded.
"Oh Darling, don't get your knickers all in a twist. I'm not here for you. Well, not to harm you. Seems your little problem is now my little problem too."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked coming around the corner.
"Moose." Crowley smiled.
"Hey Crowley, how's hell."
"Better when you two stay far away from it."
"That would be our preference as well." Dean nodded sarcastically as he descended the stairs to join them in the library, Sara right behind him. "What's your little problem."
"Seems that someone cruised his way into hell, took a corner lot, staked his claim, rounded up a few of my lesser men and even stole one of my hounds, the bastard." Crowley sneered.
"Zolteon?"
"What did you call him?" Crowley raised an eyebrow towards Sam.
"Uhhh… what do you call him?"
"Bastard normally, but I'm told his name is Zolen, sounds a little less like a pokemon, huh?"
"How the hell do you even know what Pokemon is?" Dean scoffed and looked to Sam raising his hands slightly.
"Hell gets boring… sometimes." Crowley shrugged as he moved to pour himself a whiskey. Making one for Dean as well. Sara watched as Dean took it from him and sipped, she couldn't believe that he just accepted a drink from a demon.
"So Zolen, he's not a friend I take it?" Sam asked as he moved to stand next to Sara, noting that she was uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry, did you miss the part where I said he took one of my hounds?"
"How does someone take a hell hound from the King of Hell?" Dean asked.
"Well. He's much older than I am… chances are his power is could measure up to mine, or close to it anyways."
"What are you planning to do about it?" Sara asked, catching the attention from all three of them men in the room.
"Ah, she speaks." Crowley smiles to her. Sara shrinks slightly under his gaze, Dean putting a hand on her back to comfort her, part of her wanted to pull away but she needed his strength at the moment.
"I asked you a question."
"Alright, alright. I'm planning to kill the bastard, or at least send him back to wherever the hell he's been hiding this entire damn millennium."
"How?"
"Well if I knew that I wouldn't be here."
"How hard is it to find the guy?" Dean asked.
"Not hard at all, he's in the same spot."
"How's he getting angels into hell?"
"Excuse me? Feathery little arseholes into MY HELL?!"
"Wow. You're late to the party." Dean said taking another sip of whiskey.
"Speaking of being late to the party, you still haven't introduced me to the angry one."
"Sara, this is Crowley. King of Hell." Dean said turning to her. He waited for her to give him a small nod before he turned back to Crowley to fill him in. "Crowley, this is Sara. She's a healer."
"Like a shaman in the forest or one of those essential oil nuts?" Crowley said with a raised eyebrow.
"More like a human with angel grace, fought with heaven's army back in the day." Dean corrected.
"Ahhh… You are a special one. No wonder you're warded." Crowley took three steps toward her. "I would love to see that in action."
"Sorry. No parlor tricks tonight." Sara swallowed roughly.
"It's okay." Dean mumbled to her, squeezing her arm lightly.
"Is it?" She said walking past them and to her bedroom. Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You had to scare her? I mean what the hell man?" Dean scorned now that she was out of the room.
"Well warded or not, I was pulled to her. I hunted you down, but… something about her caught my attention. I think it's going to take more than warding to keep that one under wraps."
"That's what we're afraid of… Zolen. He finds her through angels. Connects to her subconsciously, even had a binding link on her at one point. He's trying to find her."
"To kill her?" Crowley asked confused.
"That's all we can figure, killed her friend to get to her."
"Hmm."
"What?" Sam asked seeing the confusion on his face.
"What does a centuries old, probably most powerful demon in hell want with a human who has grace? To kill her? Why… what could one healer do in comparison to him? There's something more to that."
Dean chewed on the inside of his lip, why this exact thought hadn't crossed his mind he wasn't sure, but. It made sense. Why would he come out of hiding for one healer? Even if she was the only one, what benefit or threat does she have in regards to him? What was he really after?
"Let's keep this discussion to ourselves for now. I'll see what I can find." Sam nodded, knowing this would only upset Sara, and she was already spooked enough for tonight.
"Well. I sense that neither of you have found a way to kill the bastard, so I'll keep looking. Let you know if I find a weak spot."
"Crowley." Dean called out to him as he prepared to snap his fingers and land back in hell. "See if you can find out what he wants with her. What she means to him."
"That one's not your typical woman, keep her close."
"I do."
Crowley vanished and suddenly the brothers were alone. Sam looked up to Dean, the same look on his face.
"Why didn't we think about this." Sam asked.
"Because… we were so focused on keeping her safe, keeping her away from him, we never thought about why he wanted her in the first place. I mean. Obviously, she's a healer but… why is she a threat, she's one healer. Why is she enough to bring him out after all this time? I can't figure it out."
"We need to sleep on it. We need to think about it." Sam assured him. "She's freaked. What the hell did he do?"
"Just scared her, cornered her. Flashed his eyes."
"We should have told her about him."
"Yeah well I wasn't expecting a drop in." Dean threw his hands up.
"I know, but. We've warned her about the demons so heavily… we forgot to mention there was ONE who isn't so big bad and scary."
"Yeah." Dean sighed. "I'm gonna check on her, we didn't finish the grocery run. No home cooked meal tonight."
"It's fine. I'll run to the store, you go check on her."
Sara sat cross legged against her head board. A pillow in her lap so that her hands could busy themselves along the corners. She had left the door open, wanting to be able to hear if a fight broke out from down the hall. The foot steps coming down the hall got louder, but slower. Dean leaned in the doorway.
"Sweetheart. You gonna talk to me or you gonna pretend I'm not here?" Dean asked softly.
"I don't know." Sara sighed. "I'm not sure I have anything to say."
Dean pursed his lips as he walked towards the bed. He looked down and pointed, asking silently to sit. She nodded. He laid across the bed perched on his side, his hand reaching out to her leg.
"Sara. Are you angry or are you upset?"
"I don't know." She admitted softly.
"I'm sorry we didn't tell you about Crowley before. It never really came up. We were trying to make sure you were safe, prepared. I guess we didn't think it would matter, and I didn't think he'd just show up."
"He didn't just show up, Dean." She said irritably. "He stalked me in the produce section just to scare me. What's the point in that if he's so harmless?"
"He. He was drawn to you, he was there looking for me."
"Drawn to me?... Is that how he knew I was warded? He could sense that?"
"He's the king of hell sweetheart, he's not your normal Demon."
"How did you meet him?"
"On the job, he was just salesmen back then. Pitching favors for souls. Demon deals. He held the contracts."
"Wow…" Sara sighed.
"Sweetheart. He's on our side. I promise. He's always on his side, but… he's learned to either make his side our side, or not be on any side at all. He's gonna help."
"Why is he so set on not crossing you?"
"Because." Dean sighed. "He and I have an interesting history."
Sara stared at him, debating on whether or not she truly wanted the details on that situation tonight. Or if she just wanted to take in what information she'd already started to process- like the fact that they were buddies with the man who runs hell and controls the demons… well. Most of them apparently.
"When I said I wanted to meet your friends I was hoping for Jody." Sara raised her eyebrows, he gave a small smirk in return.
"I promise you will meet Jody soon. We'll make the drive out to her place."
"I'm not angry. I guess I'm just upset because it feels wrong to let him be around us. He's a demon and you can't trust him… at least that's how it feels."
"You're right. I don't trust him… I know what to expect from him, and I know when he is or isn't a threat, but that's a far cry from trusting him. I just need you to trust me."
"I do." Sara whispered as she leaned forward and laid her head in her hands. Pulling her fingers through her hair as she took a deep breath.
"You hungry? Tired?"
"Both." She sighed. "Sorry about dinner."
"Not your fault. Sam ran to the store, you wanna get Mexican after all?"
"No, it's fine. Just whatever is easy to grab on his way back. I'm not picky."
"I mean…" Dean teased. She reached out and gently slapped his shoulder. "Sometimes picky is a good thing."
"Yeah yeah yeah…" She said standing. "At least we know the warding is still intact."
"True. He's going to dig around and see what he can find on the guy."
"I always thought the devil was the person in charge of hell."
"No." Dean said shortly. "He's in a cage, hopefully for the rest of eternity. Think of hell as a poorly managed business, and Crowley is the crooked greedy CEO."
"I'm sorry… for what I said the other night. I didn't mean to."
"Sweetheart, you were drunk, angry, and quite frankly horny. You just needed a little bit of Dean to make it all better." He smiled and winked to her. She rolled her eyes and stood off the bed so he couldn't see the blush in her cheeks.
…..
…..
…..
"Morning." Sam smiled as Sara stepped into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.
"Hey." She smiled back.
"You still mad at us?"
"No." She said looking up to him from under her eyelashes. "Just let me know if there are any other evil beings your friends with that might show up."
"Uhh… well. I mean. There's Garth. He's a werewolf."
Sara was lifting her cup and stopped halfway, frozen until she slowly turned to look at Sam. Looking for any suggestion that he was kidding.
"You're joking right?"
"No. Uh.. was a hunter. Fell in love with a werewolf. Got turned, now he's part of the pack and they do an animal hearts only diet. Mostly cattle."
"Wow." Sara said putting her coffee down. "Maybe we should have saved this conversation for my second cup."
"I think in our training we were so focused on forcing you to be prepared and safe, that we forgot to mention not all monsters are actually monsters. Crowley is a dick, and he's evil. But he's harmless to you. Garth, Rowena is a witch, we've worked with different creatures on cases… Benny. There are some who still hold their humanity at a higher value than others."
"Benny?"
"Benny was a vamp." Dean's voice cut into their conversation, causing Sara to turn around. She could see the sadness in Dean's eyes. "He saved my life, more than once. He was a good guy regardless of his appetite."
"How did you meet him?"
"In purgatory. He fought with me, we made a deal that he kept my ass alive and I'd let him catch a ride back to the surface."
"Wait. I'm confused. You brought him back?"
"It's a long story. You should enjoy your coffee, we'll talk about it some other time." Dean said pouring a cup for himself.
"Actually uh, Sara. When you've had your second cup… we should talk, all of us." Sam said, sparking curiosity from both her and Dean.
"Well suddenly the second cup doesn't feel necessary." Sara sighed setting down her cup and crossing her arms as she turned towards him. Sam looked between her and an even more confused Dean. The first thought on his mind is what could Crowley have found on her so quickly.
"Um, please. Sit." Sam said motioning over to the table.
"Sam you're scaring me." Sara said not moving.
"Sara." Sam sighed. "How much do you know about your parents?"
"Which ones… the beaters, the check collectors, the few nice ones in between?" Sara scoffed.
"No. I mean. Your real parents, Sara." Sam said sadly.
"Where is this going?" Dean asked, suddenly irritated Sam didn't mention it to him before bringing it up to Sara.
"Just. Sara, please what do you know about them?"
"Not much." She shrugged, on edge but intrigued. "I just know my mom was young, not ready. Drugs most likely. I never knew anything about my dad."
"Did you know they died?"
"I mean… I got a letter once as kid about my mom's life insurance money. My foster parents at the time took it. I was 12. Didn't really make much a difference anyways since it was such a small amount. Maybe a few thousand bucks? They said she had died a while before that was released."
"What age did she- did. You…"
"What age did she dump me?" Sara asked blatantly. Dean sighed and stepped closer to her, making his presence behind her known as his hand reached out for her shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't sure how to say it."
"It's okay, Sam. It's my life. I've never known anything else. You aren't hurting my feelings by asking. I was put in foster care when I was 4."
"Before then, do you remember anything about your mom?"
"Nope. Barely know what she looked like really. I have a picture… it's in my room. It's one of the only pictures I brought from Colorado."
"Can you go get it for me?"
"Yeah." She said as she moved around Dean to go towards her room. Dean stayed and his eyes drilled straight to Sam.
"What the hell is this?" Dean asked quietly. "What did he find?"
"He didn't find anything yet, I did." Sam swallowed.
"Okay?! And you couldn't toss me the heads up?"
"Dean. She's gotta be involved in this one. I need her help."
"For what?!"
"I need to be sure it's her…"
"Here." Sara said coming back in the room and holding the photo out to Sam. In the photo was a young woman, think, dark hair and dark eyes. A man behind her with his arms wrapped around her, his eyes piercing blue and a smile Sam swore was familiar.
"Is this your dad too?" Sam asked.
"I don't know… I used to pretend it was when I was a kid. When the other kids asked. I just. Wanted to feel like I had something they didn't, a story to tell. You know? I used to say he was a hero or some made up bullshit. Truth is. I don't even know if that's him. I don't know how old they were here. I don't know anything except that she's my mom."
Dean looked down at his feet. Taking in the reality that while her childhood had been different from his, it was none the less painful. He hated the feeling.
"Come with me." Sam said as he handed the photo back, Sara and Dean carefully followed behind him to the library as he sat and opened his laptop, Sara sat beside him and Dean watched over the back of her chair.
"I was looking into a few things. Trying to find out why Zolen is hunting you. I probably should have asked, but I thought I should start from the beginning. So I found your birth records."
"What do they say?"
"Say's you were born somewhere in Pennsylvania. Small town. Your mom was only 19. No prenatal care, no pediatrician visits after they sent you home from delivery. You just kind of fell off the map. Until…"
"Until what, Sam?"
"Until this happened." Sam said as he turned the screen towards her. The title in large letters caught her eye first; "Woman and Child Victim of Murder Suicide". Sara read the words over and over but she didn't understand them, the woman in the photo below was definitely the same woman in the photo on the table next to her. They were the same woman.
"I don't understand."
"Sara… the world thought you were dead once already." Dean explained as he began to put the puzzle pieces together.
"What? Me?! I'm the child… The one who my mother supposedly murdered? How is that possible?"
"I don't know." Sam admitted. "But it happened when you were about 4 years old according to your birth records. A few months later you were checked into foster care by DCFS. You were put in your first group home, not a word about how you were supposedly dead just a few months before that or where you had been during that time."
"Someone hid you… but why?" Dean mumbled reading over the article.
"I don't remember any of this."
"It's likely that your brain would have protected you from the trauma. I have to assume that whatever happened is something you wouldn't want to remember."
Sara's eyes watered slightly with the confusion and sadness swirling in her brain.
"You said parents." She finally mumbled.
"Yes. Your father wasn't listed on the birth certificate. But, your mother left behind a note that night. She mentioned him. I found his death records… he died only a few days before your mother. Opposite ends of the country. Nothing obvious tying the deaths together. His was a car accident."
"What was his name?"
"Alan. His name was Alan."
"Alan." Sara whispered to herself while she stared at the computer screen.
"Sara do you want to take a break. Get some air?" Dean asked from behind her.
"I don't know."
"I'm sorry." Sam said as he reached up and took her hand in his. "I wasn't sure what I would find, but I never expected this. I thought it might give us some answers."
"Well it strikes more questions for sure." Dean said as he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. "What now?"
"We have a few options." Sam shrugged and looked down to Sara, who still stared ahead. "We can go to your birth place. We can go to either of the places where your parents died. See if we can find anything there that gives us more answers. Or… we can leave it alone for now."
"Answers to what again?" She asked as she stood. She turned and let her eyes fall into Dean's. He desperately tried to read the expression on her face, but she pulled her gaze down again as she realized he was searching for something.
"We don't know why Zolen, the demon, is after you. Why he wants you. Does he want you dead? Does he want to capture you? What is it about you that made him come out of hiding, if you're the only healer, then why are you a threat?"
"I never thought about that."
"We hadn't either until Crowley showed up, Sweetheart."
"I think air would be nice." She said pulling her arms in and crossing them as she leaned her forehead against Dean's shoulder.
"Go get dressed, I know where to go." Dean said kissing the top of her head. She smiled at him slightly before walking away. Dean watched until she was out of sight before turning back to Sam.
"What else…"
"What?"
"What else did you find."
"Dean, I don't know if its real or not. Any of it. I just have a theory or two."
"Tell me. Now."
"I think her mother was working with a demon, or someone of malicious intent and they wanted Sara. I think she told them no… and I think she died for it. I think that someone got Sara out, and hid her, and when it was safe they let her resurface and knew the best place for her was lost in the system with thousands of other kids."
"Who would do that?"
"I don't know. Grandparent? Aunt? Family friend? It could have been anyone, Dean. But I feel like who ever it was must know more about the supernatural world then Sara ever did. I mean, how else do you explain the fact that she stayed hidden for so long? That they were able to fake her death well enough for death records and articles. I mean this is someone who knows what they're doing. They will be almost impossible to track."
"Okay so then we start now, and we find what we can. See if Cas can dig anything up on his end."
"Yeah, I will. Where you going?"
"Take my girl for a drive." Dean smiled to himself as he walked down the hall.
…..
…..
…..
"Hey." Dean called getting Sara's attention as he drove. "You want some breakfast? We can grab something to go and go park by the lake right outside of town."
"Sure." She smiled up at him. He could see it was genuine, but also reserved. She had a lot to process and she was doing so quietly, which made him slightly nervous. Dean reached over to where she sat beside him on the seat and slid his hand between her knees, cupping one of her legs and giving it a gentle squeeze.
"I know you're thinking about a lot of things right now, but you can always think out loud if it helps you process some of it." e
"I know." She sighed. "I just… I don't know. I'm not upset, and I feel like I should be."
"What do you mean?"
"Like… my parents are dead. Shouldn't that hurt me in some way?"
"I would think so, but. You didn't really know them, so I can't blame you for not grieving them."
"I'm confused. I'm kind of at a loss for words, but I'm just not upset."
"Sweetheart I don't think you should upset yourself about not being upset. I mean, maybe its better that way. You know, not having to feel the grief? It gives you some answers."
"It gives us more questions, Dean. You already said so yourself."
"Yes." He agreed solemnly.
"What question bothers you the most. Like… which one seems to weigh on you the heaviest?"
"Honestly?" He turned and asked her as he pulled into the drive thru for an easy breakfast on the go.
"Always." She smiled.
"Someone hid you… someone faked your death and kept you hidden for weeks. Which tells me someone was after you, maybe your whole family. But why?" He shook his head. "If… It was the demon back then, what is it about you or your family that matters so much to him?"
Sara looked Dean's face up and down, knowing that he wasn't hiding anything from her now. He was open, honest with his anxiety.
"What bothers me the most is feeling like I don't remember something I should. I was four. Why can't I remember any of it?"
"I don't know. I guess we could always ask Cas to see if there's anything hidden… we used to know this psychic that could pull things like that out of your brain."
"Do you think it will work?"
"I've seen stranger things."
Sara nodded and leaned into Dean as he pulled his arm behind her over the top of the seat. She watched out the window as he drove them outside of town, her breakfast beside her in the brown bag. She knew she would have to eat it eventually or Dean would gripe at her, but she just wasn't interested in it for the time being.
She watched as the neighborhoods turned into the woods, and the roads became less and less maintained. When the pavement turned to dirt and the car began to slow she waited for the sight of the water to come into view. She had only ever seen the lake from a distance on their way in or out of town. She had never asked the boys to visit because she honestly didn't know if they would want to.
"You ready?" Dean asked as he parked a little ways off the shore and opened the door.
"Its nice out today." Sara smiled as she followed his lead. Dean walked around to the trunk and grabbed a fishing pole and a tackle box, handing them to Sara so that he could carry a couple of lawn chairs. He led them to a nice flat spot close to the edge of the water and spread the chairs out.
"You ever fish?" He asked her.
"Nope. I know you throw this end in the water and that's about it." She giggled. Dean chuckled and folded one of the chairs back down and laid it on the ground, taking a seat in the one still standing.
"Come sit with me." He said as patted his lap. Sara sat on one of his legs at an angle so she could still see his face while he explained the basics of how to cast and reel. There was a lure already attached and Sara watched as Dean placed a bobber on the line so that she could easily see if there were any fish biting.
"Okay. Grab the pole with this hand, and then use your thumb on that hand to push in the button on the reel." Dean's hands slid over hers to guide them to the right spot, she was now facing forward and allowed his arms to pull hers back with them as they prepared to cast. "Okay, when we throw this thing out you're going to want to let go of the button okay?"
"Yep." She nodded. Dean pulled them back another inch or so before pushing their hands and the pole forward, watching Sara's smile as the end of the line flew through the air and landed in the water with a soft plop.
"Okay, now reel it in just a bit to set your line." He waited for the click and let her reel in some of the slack. "Good deal, now you just wait. Watch your bobber, if it starts dipping then you know somethings poking around at your bait. If it goes under, you want to yank and reel that sucker on in."
"You like to fish, huh?" Sara asked as she slid down slightly and leaned back against Dean, his arms winding around her waist as she relaxed against him.
"Eh, I like that it's easy. There's no winning or losing. You're just enjoying your time to do something simple."
"You catch a lot of fish?"
"Hardly any at all. This lake sucks for fishing actually."
"Then why are we fishing?!" Sara laughed out loud, her whole body shaking against him causing him to chuckle.
"Because you needed something easy today too. You've already had enough of the hard stuff."
Dean leaned and planted a kiss to her temple, Sara's eyes fluttering closed at the warmth of his lips against her skin. She let out a soft sigh.
"The water never stops moving. It's constantly moving in one direction or another… that's kind of how my mind works, ya know? Like. People can tell me all day to stop thinking about something, or forget something, or not to stress out and worry, but it's like that water. It just won't stop moving." She mumbled after a few minutes of silence between them.
"What about when I do this." Dean teased as his lips moved across the back of shoulder and up to the side of her neck, nipping slightly.
"Mmm… that is pretty distracting. Makes other parts of my body want to move back and forth like the water." She mumbled as she rotated her hips in his lap.
"You're gonna miss the fish if you keep looking away." Dean gave a smirk, as his hands slid under her shirt and around her waist again.
"Fine. I'll save it for later." She winked as she turned back to face the water. "What if we find something we don't like. What if… I'm not a good person, or what if I did something bad and that's why they hid me. What if I don't even know who I am, Dean?"
"Sara you know no matter what we find, you'll still be Sara to me and Sam. We'll just maybe understand a little more about how you are what you are."
"I just. I finally feel like I am okay with it. Like… I know who I am again, and I've found a purpose again. And now I feel like I'm going to lose that."
"Sweetheart. There is nothing we can find that would change that… it's all just back story. It doesn't decide what we do now."
"Maybe." She sighed.
…..
…..
…..
"You might wanna wake her up soon." Sam said looking back and seeing Sara still asleep in the backseat. They had decided to travel to her birth place first. See if they could find out anything else about her mother from before Sara was born. Old county records, friends, neighbors… anything Sam couldn't dig up online.
"I know, she just didn't sleep well last night. I don't want to ruin it if she's finally getting some rest."
"So she didn't take the news well then?"
"I mean, better than expected. She has some anxiety but it's legitimate. She's more afraid we'll find something bad and that it will change everything in her life again."
"We won't let that happen." Sam assured him.
"I know." Dean nodded.
They made the rest of the drive to the small town in comfortable silence, not wanting to disturb Sara's sleep. Dean had sent a message to Cas to meet them when he could, but the angel had been so busy with affairs in heaven and trying to track the demon that he hadn't been available as much as he usually was.
Dean pulled into a small gas and grocery once they were in town, leaning over the seat.
"Hey.. Sara." He whispered as he gently shook her shoulder.
"Hmmm…."
"Wake up sweetheart, we're here."
At that Sara's eyes shot open and she leaned up on her elbow, looking out the window at their surroundings.
"Have I slept the whole time?"
"Yeah, well you were pretty restless last night so we didn't want to wake you."
"I'm sorry. You could have, that way you didn't have to drive in the quiet, did you at least turn on the radio?"
"We were just fine." He nodded flatly.
"So, what's the plan."
"We don't really know. Just thought maybe we'd explore a little. Sam will probably hit the county records and see what he can find."
"Okay."
"You hungry? There looks like there's a sandwich shop up the road."
"Yeah. That sounds good." She said as she leaned up and kissed his cheek.
Sara took a quick bathroom break and splashed cold water on her face before coming back to the car and sitting between them in the front seat. Sam swung an arm behind her and she leaned her head back against it.
"You holding up?"
"Yeah. Just… nervous to see what we find."
"I'm sure you're making it worse in your head then it will be… whatever we find." Sam assured her.
"You two keep saying that but you forget that my luck only stays good for so long."
"C'mon my little lucky charm, lets feed you. You're getting cranky." Dean said as he stepped out of the car, she rolled her eyes and slid out behind him, letting him lead them to the front of the counter to order.
Sara looked around at the old shop, it was obvious it was a town staple. There were mismatched chairs and tables throughout the dining area and a small gift shop at the front door. Pictures adorned the walls in various places, mostly old polaroid's, giving the place a lot of character. Some even on the table under a glass top so as not to be destroyed by wet or hot food items.
Once they had ordered they took a seat in the corner by a window, the small table colorful and scattered with photos. Sara gazed out the window as Sam and Dean began to talk strategy. She went from watching the people stroll down the sidewalk to looking through the photos under the glass, she slid her drink around as she went from photo to photo, until her heart skipped a beat and she took in a short breath.
"Sara?" Sam asked noticing, she flinched at the sound of his voice and knocked her glass forward with her hand. Frantically grabbing at napkins out of the holder and throwing it down on the running water across the table.
"Sorry! I uh. Sorry.. I." She mumbled as she hurried to catch it all before it slid off the table and onto herself or Dean's lap.
"Whoa, its okay… It's just water sweetheart."
"No.. uh. Look." Sara said as she swiped over and over again at a spot on the table to rid the glass of the wet smudge.
Dean looked over and saw an old photo of a woman and a small child, probably only 2 or 3 years old. A little girl with dark pig tails on the top of her head.
"Is that… your mom?" Dean asked looking up to her and back down to the photo.
"Yeah." Sara nodded, her finger running across the glass underneath the photo.
"Which means that little girl… Sara, that's you." Sam said as he stood and moved to lean over them.
"I-I… I don't have any photos of us together. I don't even have any of me as a kid. But… I mean. I think so."
"Sweetheart, I'd know those blue eyes anywhere. That's you." Dean assured her. "Here, stand up."
Sara stood and stepped backwards as Dean cleared all of the items on the table off and moved them to the table behind them. Then he pulled up at the glass table top and reached his long fingers underneath to pull at the corner of the photo. It stuck slightly against the table but finally came loose. Once free he placed the glass back down and handed the photo to Sara before he began to move their things back and sit again.
Sara held the photo in her hand, her thumb running across it once more. She immediately grabbed her phone, setting it down where it had good light from the window and taking a picture of it. She immediately texted it to both Sam, Dean, and sent a copy to her email.
As their phones buzzed, Sam looked up to her in confusion.
With a slightly guilty expression she shrugged.
"I just… I don't want to risk losing it. Digital copies seem to be harder to lose than the real thing."
Sam nodded and gave her a soft smile. Dean threw his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head as she leaned into him. She smiled slightly as she looked at it once more.
"Oh my… Did the photo fall out?" An older woman with frizzy red hair asked as she came to set down their plates.
"Oh um. I-" Sara hesitated.
"Excuse me ma'am." Sam interrupted. "Do you know the woman in this photo?"
"Not anymore she smiled sadly."
"But you did know her?... and her daughter?" Sara asked with a hopeful glance.
Dean watched as her emotions built up a sense of hope, he wanted this for her, but he also knew that the more hopeful she became the harder it would hit her if something bad comes of it. It was at this moment he wished Sam had mentioned this to him only, and they could have had one of them come looking for answers, not getting her hopes up or worrying her before they knew what they might find.
Sam on the other hand knew that Sara had to take this journey for herself. She needed to know, she needed to be here regardless of the outcome.
"Well of course. She was family to me once… that little girl would prance around this place like she owned it. Stopping at every table, sitting with the old men who came in for coffee every morning." The woman sighed and gave a sad smile as she reached out for the photo.
"What happened to them?"
"I don't know… they were just. Gone." She sniffed slightly, then looked up to them and handed the photo back. "Sorry! You get an old woman chatting around here about the way this place used to be, I miss those days."
"Thank you." Sara smiled softly as she reached for the photo. "Do you mind if I keep it?"
The woman looked puzzled for a moment at Sara's request, then her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open slightly. Tears swelled in her eyes and her lip quivered as she asked the name.
"Sara Grace?!"
