A/N: If you hate SuzaCC, look away now lol.
For as long as she can remember, she has been tired. There's an awful strain on her back from the burden placed there since she was young. It was cruel what she's had to go through. To be brought up on in one place, then shipped off to another with a different identity, and be passed from gentleman to gentleman as if she were nothing but some arbitrary object. What even is a home, C.C. thought to herself. She never truly belonged anywhere.
But here and now, in Lelouch's arms, she began to feel as though finding one isn't as impossible as she thought.
She closed her eyes and allowed herself to bask in his warmth. Hands clutching at the front of his shirt, she let herself pull him even closer. As if delighted, he responded by lowering his own hands to her narrow waist and giving her a light peck on the shoulder. A small smile cracked through her face at the contact, and she felt him smiling as well through the fabric of her dress. It was miraculous how right it all felt.
"Did you always smell this nice?" she teased.
"Shut up, you witch." Lelouch wasn't always a good sport but for now, she internally commended him as she continued to recognize the pleasant curve of his lips against her skin.
"What, it's a valid question," she said as she adjusted her head to lean on his shoulder better.
"How could you think that I stink?" he replied and playfully pinched her sides. She squirmed but he made sure she remained exactly where she was. Truthfully, he didn't know what came over him when he first held her but he sure as hell wasn't regretting it.
Just as the pair were becoming comfortable with the embrace, there was another knock at the door. And who should enter but the Knight of Seven, Sir Suzaku Kururugi. "What is this?" He paced over to the two and pulled Lelouch away from C.C, the sight of them interlocked in each other's arms sent his nerves on fire.
"How could you!?" He was already poising to throw a punch at the prince and he fully intended on landing it had C.C. not held him back with a firm grip to the wrist.
"Stop!" She was surprised she was able to hold him back despite his incessant pulling. "You'll lose your rank, Suzaku! What are you thinking!"
"I'm thinking," he started with an enraged yell, "that he's my best friend and he shouldn't be putting his hands on my-!"
"You're with my sister, are you not?" Lelouch cut in, attempting to catch his breath from the adrenaline rush. "You can't play the jealous card. You've given up the right to long ago."
The words seemed to temper Suzaku's anger a little bit. What quelled it completely was C.C. holding his hand and whispering to his ear the way she always did whenever he threw a jealous fit. Lelouch looked away and grudgingly waited until Suzaku shook himself free and stormed out of the room.
They fell silent as they sat on the plush couch, Lelouch distracting himself with the velvet texture of it and C.C. with the ornate floral design of the cushions. Neither knew what had just happened, and they were engrossing themselves with their distractions as if it helped piece things together. Moments ago, they were utterly at peace.
"Are you alright," Lelouch tried carefully. You could never tell how C.C. would react in times like these. Will she offer sympathy? Will she make fun of the situation? Will she ridicule you?
"You should leave."
Ah, so she decided she'd be cold. He decided he wouldn't let it go so easily. "Why?"
"Why are you here, Lelouch?" When she turned to him, there was some confusion in her honey eyes. "What did you possibly hope to accomplish?"
He pressed on with a stern look. "To get you to come back. I told you-"
"Yes," she sighed, "but what for?" It seemed she was searching for something, like a kid asking for a bedtime story so she could finally fall asleep. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to say the words that would finally give them both the rest they craved. The result is a silence in which she looked at him expectantly, hopefully while he could only stare back with a defeated expression.
She dropped her head for a while then looked off to the side. Her usual mask slid back on and he can't help but feel like he failed her. "You should leave," she repeated just as coldly as the first time.
The words his mother said rang in his ears as he stood. Those who confess are shown mercy and get blessed. A quick glance to her engagement ring and it appeared that blessings were for everyone else except him. He left without saying any more. Maybe he should give the faith another try. Or maybe he should have just told her what he'd always wanted to.
Suzaku stepped out of the changing room fresh out of the shower after another mind-numbing training session. It was a great way to release some of his aggression, although he supposed he'd eventually have to find a better way of dealing with it. The longer he carried the load, the harder it was to keep up façades.
"Yo," Gino Weinberg, another Knight of the Round, walked over to his friend. His greeting was met with a smile that wasn't quite believable, the one that had been present since Suzaku came back from that short-lived trip to France. "You haven't been coming to our weekly post-training drinks for over two months now. Traditions are supposed to be respected, buddy," he jokingly reprimanded the brown-haired knight.
"Yeah, sorry. I just haven't been feeling up to it these days," Suzaku amended politely as he packed his gear into a bag. He hadn't been wanting to go to training either if he were being honest. He was only trying to keep his routine as normal as possible for some regularity.
Lelouch and C.C. potentially getting together, an impending wedding, a fiancée to whom he could only give part of his heart to… it was a lot to keep up with as it is. Weekly drinks wherein he had to pretend everything was fine seemed a bit much, so he settled with cutting it from the routine. It had been going along fine so far until the moment Gino sat down on the field and asked him to join. He immediately realized that he wouldn't be left alone until he entertained a few questions.
"What's wrong?" The blonde asked as his friend sat beside him. "Is Euphy okay?"
Suzaku fixed his eyes on the skies painted pink and orange by the setting sun. Pink. He thought he'd grow to love that color more. "Euphy's fine."
"Then what's gotten you all sad and mopey?" Gino pressed on.
"I'm not sad. I told you, I've just been out of it."
"You can't fool me, Sir. We've been friends for years," the blonde pointed out. "What? Not getting any till the wedding night?"
Suzaku side-eyed his friend, "It isn't that."
"Well then, what is it?"
The only reason Suzaku hasn't gotten annoyed at the interrogation yet is because Gino always wore this bright, good-natured smile that assured him he genuinely just wanted his friend to be alright. It was also the reason he decided to lift the weight off his shoulders and be truthful for the first time in months. "I feel… unfulfilled."
"What?" Gino's expression contorted to a confused one. "You're a highly ranked knight despite being a foreigner, and deservedly so: you're one of the finest warriors alive. You're husband-to-be to one of the most beautiful women on the planet. And, one day, maybe even heir to an entire country," he enumerated. "I understand these can cause a lot of pressure, but they're all satisfying things to be."
Suzaku nodded as he looked onto the golden rays of light and the green grass. Ah, gold and green. Now, those colors he always loved. "I miss her."
"Her?" Gino was even more confused, but it quickly ended when he saw the look on his companion's face. It was the face he always made when he thought about a certain French lady. "Oh."
"I know, I know." Suzaku laughed bitterly. "I don't deserve Euphy."
"Why don't you try to?" Gino offered with a smile. "I mean, you already have her. So might as well try, right?"
Suzaku only continued staring at the horizon, the first gust of evening wind swept over the fields causing rustling sounds in place of his response.
Gino exhaled deeply with closed eyes and soon followed his friend's line of sight. "You really want C.C., huh?"
There was a long silence of Suzaku trying to choose his words carefully. When he finally spoke up, Gino wondered why his friend would let go of someone so important.
"Everything just seems pointless without her."
The blonde stared at the brunette. He decided to tell him what he would've found out from someone else later on. "Well, you'll be glad to know she's back."
Suzaku turned to Gino so fast he swore there could have been whiplash. "What?"
"Apparently, Lady Marianne really insisted on it so she'll be residing at Pendragon again for at least a month." Gino replied surprisingly simply that the other knight looked at him disbelievingly, as if he were making a joke. "It's true, Anya told me. She's good friends with C.C., you know."
He stood up and left the instant he heard all he needed to confirm her return, not even thinking to say goodbye to the bearer of good news, not even picking up his bag from the nearby bench.
Suzaku made efforts to get to her residence as quickly as he could and went straight for her room. Thankfully, the guards and servants in her household recognized and trusted him enough to get through without much fuss.
C.C. was seated on a sofa by the window and gazing at the clouds, knees pulled up to her chin with arms folded around them. She looked just like the picture he always had of her in his head: the one in his memory when he first laid eyes on her years ago. She scowled when she saw him, much like before.
"I thought you hated me," she said glumly. She remembered how easily Suzaku shook her off back in Paris. When they were together, she was always able to calm him down. It was sort of painful to see how her effect on him had waned so.
"I probably should."
"What are you doing here." She looked beyond the window again, concentrating instead on the frown of the crescent moon rather than the one on his face.
Suzaku couldn't help but admire her beauty lit aglow by candles and faint moonlight. "I don't know. I heard you were back and I found myself here."
"Then you better go. You shouldn't be here." There was a crack in her voice. It was little but nonetheless present enough for him to hear. He took it as a sign.
"Ditching my friends, trying to punch a prince, coming to see you in France, coming to see you now…" He glossed over her entire form, eyes skimming for a diamond ring that was nowhere to be found. "Lately, I've been doing things I probably shouldn't be."
He stepped closer and pulled her off the couch. He adored her short height, adored the way her bangs parted ever so slightly when she looked up at him. Good heavens, how his heart skipped beats. "I have a feeling I won't be stopping anytime soon."
Suzaku took her face in his hands tenderly and did what he had been dying to since the moment he ended their relationship. He kissed her with all the hunger he'd buried inside. Truly, he half-expected a slap or a shove. But like he half-hoped, she responded. She did so as if on instinct, though it may have somewhat dulled, soft lips mingling with his so perfectly.
Here was her first love, her first heartbreak. Making up for all the time they lost, his mouth and tongue were insistent on asserting dominance. She let herself be conquered; he would be weak at her feet soon enough anyways. Her arms snaked around his waist, only faintly aware that she was already untucking his shirt. Her senses focused instead on the feel of his fingers in her hair and their lips adjoining diligently.
There was little coordination as they moved to the bed. She was pushed down to the soft mattress and he settled naturally between her legs. When he lowered his kisses to her neck, she arched into him, one hand clawing at his back and the other gripping the sheets above her head. It felt all too familiar, but perhaps this fierce new desire coming from him was an exception. His excitement was already digging at her leg and she shut her eyes in satisfaction. She knew nobody else could to him what she did.
When he tugged at the laces of her dress, however, she hesitated. "Wait, wait."
He stopped to look at her, eyes filled with so much longing it almost oozed out. "What's wrong?"
She placed her hands on his olive chest and moved to sit, pushing him up along the way. "You're getting married."
There was some resistance, his mind warring with his heart for a few brief seconds, before his head sunk. "Yes," he acknowledged. Yet sill, he wasn't going to give this up. He looked at her again, green piercing gold with sharp agony and determination. "I love you, C.C. If that isn't clear enough."
She wanted to laugh. "Then why did you leave me?" Her bruised lips shook because she knew those weren't the words she was supposed to say. "It doesn't matter. You're still promised," she argued.
He decided he'll have none of it. "One word from you and that whole act is over," he said resolutely. He stared at her so intently that she was a startled for a moment. In their time apart, it seemed Suzaku had become even more devoted. "I need you." His warm hands slowly ran up her thighs, moving her dress farther up. "I want you."
When he came closer, her arms took on a life of their own and rested around his neck. "I love you," he whispered in her ear. "I could never love anyone but you."
Her mind told her to protest, but she was silent as he pressed his lips on hers. He pulled away quickly and glanced at her, his eyes searching for permission. Failing to find any answers in those golden orbs, he lightly kissed her again. When he gingerly did it for a third time, she closed her eyes and had to admit that she had a weakness for him too.
Heads buzzing with yearning and pleasure, they sank back down on the bed and completely forgot about the things they should or shouldn't do. Amid the long-awaited kisses, bites, caresses, scratches, moans, grunts, and thrusts, Suzaku and C.C. completely forgot for an entire night.
In all the days of the week, Nunnally looked forward to Tuesday nights the most. It was during those evenings that she and her big brother would have their private dinner, away from their exceptionally huge family. It wasn't as though she didn't like dining with them, but it had never really felt intimate and familial like it did when she shared a meal with no one but Lelouch. Other times people like Suzaku or Lady C.C joined, but her brother's relationship with the former was maybe a bit strained.
"Did Lady C.C. really end things with her fiancé?" the young girl asked as she carved a slice of turkey.
"Yes. Mother confirmed it," Lelouch replied, that doting tone he reserved for his little sister ever-present.
"So she's back for good then?" The excitement in her voice was noticeable. She always liked Lady C.C. She was kind and she made her laugh. She was admirable as well. The woman had a way of commanding just about anything she wanted to.
"I don't know," he responded casually. "We haven't spoken yet."
He seemed disorientated for a while back, Nunnally observed, but he was noticeably better now. Maybe Lady C.C.'s return had something to do with it. Were they betting on something again and he'd won? Between the two, that wouldn't be strange. She and Lelouch shared an unusual kind of bond, one that nobody could really describe. Nonetheless, the young princess found that he showed interesting sides whenever the lady was involved. Nunnally knew he was always happy with her, but it was different with C.C.
"Uhm, brother," she timidly began. "Now that you and Miss Shirley have had a clean break, will you be pursuing Lady C.C.?"
"Huh?" Lelouch gently set down his wine glass, brows knitted together at the inquiry. "What do you mean, Nunnally?"
"I heard mother and father talking about it on more than one occasion." The girl fidgeted in her seat and clasped her hands together on her lap. "And I… I always thought you fancied her."
Lelouch sighed tiredly. He adored his little sister but he didn't feel like being pushed to an agenda, unwittingly as it may have come and at their private dinner no less. "C.C. and I aren't like that, Nunnally."
"Please don't lie to me, brother." She was visibly uncomfortable but her eyes demanded. She remembered the time she overheard him complaining to himself about C.C. but soon after asking himself why he wanted to be around someone so difficult. "You wouldn't, right?"
How could he lie to her when she was being like that? Nunnally had a special tug on his heart, and he would rather swallow his pride than lose that. So he smiled and answered. "Of course not."
Nunnally smiled back with hope in her eyes. "So?"
"I'll give it a shot, Nunnally." There was some hesitation when he answered. He didn't know why but exploring this domain terrified him. It wasn't like this with Shirley.
"Really? That makes me glad!" Nunnally exclaimed. Well, if anything, at least it would make Nunnally happy. He cared about that greater than most anything else. "I think you're finally being honest with yourself."
Yes. This time around, he'll be honest.
A/N: I know I say it every time in my end notes but I really don't know why I keep writing for thissss hahaha. Anyway, this was the idea I mentioned in the previous chapter. I thought I'd have an extremely difficult time writing the semi-explicit part but it didn't end up taking very long for some reason. S/o to reader duduaoi for guessing "action". You're sort of right I guess lol
If anyone's interested, I honestly don't know if I'm rooting for Suzaku or Lelouch. Please don't hate on Suzaku btw, he just has more balls to take what he wants unlike some people who need a proper smack on the head *cough*Lelouch*cough*
