Chapter 04.
'Wow, this is really good. I didn't know that useless goddess was actually good at something!'
Kazuma thought as he picked up another karaage and popped into his mouth. When he looked at Wiz, she was actually tearing up. Her hands were trembling as she picked another one and carefully took a nibble.
He could feel her conflict. She was hungry enough to eat the entire cup in one gulp. But she also wanted to savor the first real food she has had in weeks. Or maybe months. Maybe that's why she was eating her fries in a frantic nibble.
"Wiz, take mine." "Eh!? I can't do that, Kazuma-san. You did more than enough already." "Nah, I think I got more than enough, too."
Kazuma patted his stomach to emphasize his full stomach. Twitching like a cat looking at a new food, Wiz slowly reached her hand out and took the cup. She took a small sniff and her face loosened up in pure ecstasy.
She took a nugget and popped it into her mouth.
(Wiz): KONOSUBA!
"Hey, miss Shopkeeper!"
A bushy-bearded stallkeeper was waving at Wiz. Wiz waved back with a wide smile.
"Good morning! How's the business?" "Pretty well! How about you?" "Not so well actually…." "Hahaha! Well, I think I think I can help you with that."
She seemed to know him well... Kazuma looked at the things the men had on display. Junk, Scrap, Junk, Junk... Hm, a glass bottle. This might be worth something.
While he was looked at the clear glass bottle with deep intrigue, the man Laughed at the shy Wiz, started to rummage through the things behind him. Not really trusting the man, Kazuma whispered to Wiz.
"Wiz, you know that man?" "He's one of the magic item dealers here. And one of my favorite dealers."
That man was going on the store's blacklist. He made a mental note and checked on it. But from besides that, this was a good chance to assess Wiz's skill as a negotiator and a merchant.
"We got some impressive items today as well. Do you want to take a look?"
"Yes! What do you have today?"
"Well then take a look at this. The monster luring potion and bell. And if you use them together, the effect increases by tenfold!"
…So it was you who sold her that monster luring potion, Eh? I had to go through more giant toads and slimes because of that crazy thing. Argh. I thought it was all over when Darkness had used up her last bottle. ...Who would've thought she left one bottle in the closet and forgot. Or the potion would strengthen over time. She found it, used it on our quest to find those golden apples and... Urgh. He never thought he would become a doujin material.
"And look here. A dagger that hits a critical hit after one hundred swings!"
That could be useful. But seeing that cheap glint, it should break after one blow. And considering how strong a swing should be to be counted as a swing, this could be- worthless. ...Wait a minute, I think I saw Chris had that dagger, just yesterday. I think she bought it cheap from a street stall. ...Better warn her later.
"And finally, a magic scroll that makes the user use… Nature's beauty one time!"
Kazuma looked at the gray-blue scroll in pure disgust. Because he was behind Wiz, she didn't see his rotten face. But the bearded man got the full blast of ugly. While he flinched a bit but didn't show any signs of surprise.
Kazuma's face crumpled up more when he saw the cheap wax seal had Aqua's hairpiece on it. He could almost hear Aqua's cheap nagging; 'Kazuma, Kazuma, Kazuma~'
"-Yep. This stuff is nothing but junk.'
"Come on Wiz, this stuff is-."
"Wow! I'll take one!"
"Me too. Give me one of them! No, a dozen!"
But before he could do anything, a man with a weasel-like thin face and eyes and a fat woman with tanuki-like eye shadows and mouth butted in and fawning over the worthless scroll.
'Woah! What's going on?'
"What? Then I'll take two dozen!"
"Why you old hag, I'll take three dozen then!"
The heated words quickly turned to a small brawl, awkward punches and hair tugging.
'Oh, I think I can guess what's going.' Kazuma snickered at this as he looked at the stallkeeper. He was going to put on a bewildered face and pry these two apart and then say...
"Now, now, ladies and gents. Settle down. There's plenty to go around."
'Just as I thought. They are 'sakura', wingmen. It's pretty obvious, seeing that they're not buying anything. Or appearing out of thin air. Or just by their faces. Man, what lame acting. I can't believe anyone would fall for this-'
"I'll take some! Please, give me room please!"
'Wizzzzzz-!'
"Hey, Wiz, wait for a minute- gah!"
"Hey, don't push! Get in line like everyone else!"
The weasel shoved him in the gut, hard. Completely winded, Kazuma huffed out several painful gasps. While he clutched his abdomen, the weasel and the tanuki shoved him behind them. Kazuma glared at them only to have glared back and sneered on by the two wingmen.
'Urgh! They're trying to block me out!'
"Wiz! Wiz! Man, this is bad, I can't see her through all these people."
It seemed like two wingmen were good at their jobs. Or these people were gullible just like Wiz. 'They could be potential customers. No, pull yourself together!'
"Wiz! Wiz!"
"Oh, Kazuma-san!"
The sea of customers opened up like the red sea and Wiz was its Moses. And she was carrying...
"Wiz! -Wait, those things you're holding, are they…?"
"Yes! I managed to buy five dozens of them in that chaos! I'm really lucky today!"
Five dozen of piles of... non-recyclable Aquas. Terrific. Kazuma inwardly groaned as he took the gray-blue parchment from his boss. He stumbled, balancing the stallkeeper's stock in his arms. He looked at the smiling stallkeeper and muttered under his breath.
"At least sell her ropes to tie these things together."
The stallkeeper didn't meet his eyes as he counted Wiz's coins. He simply shrugged his greasy elbows.
"Sorry. Don't have that in stock."
"Hey, fancy seeing you here miss shopkeeper~!"
"My, my, nice seeing you today as well, miss~!"
'…I guess she's one of Wiz's best seller's as well.'
Kazuma looked at Wiz's dangling purse. He could hear it screaming in hunger already. But it looked like its guts and glory was going to this- She had cleaner clothes and hair. But she still had that dirty gleam in her eyes he knew so well; Eyes of trash. Well, this woman looked worse than that man.
"Oh my. Looks like you got quite a deal there today as well, eh miss?"
"Yeah, I'm not sure I'll be able to take more deals though."
"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure you'll find something worth buying."
"Well take a look at this item, it's a bottle that explodes when it touches fire. Nifty, right?"
'…And I think I know who sold her those explosive bottles.'
"Wow, look at this Kazuma-san!"
"Yeah, I expected that kind of reaction from you. What do you say? These don't come in the market that often. This may be the only chance you'll be able to buy these."
'Heh, there's no way she'll buy these, after all, she has the whole stack similar-"
"Hm, you might be right. These really are worth buying. Let's see, where's my wallet?"
'Wizzzzzz-!'
"Hold it, Wiz!"
"Yes?"
"Think about it. Are those really worth buying? You have similar stuff back at the shop, remember?"
"But, they really must be worth it if she's say so, right?"
"Yeah, bro. Don't be a spoilsport. What about it miss? It comes with a two-plus one offer right now. It'll be a shame to miss out on this once in a lifetime offer."
"Eh, is that so!? Then I'll take it all! Here's the money!"
"Hehe, thanks for the business. Then I'll drop them off at the usual place after sunset."
"Yes, see you then!"
'Oi, oi, oi… Wiz, what were you thinking? Even considering the two-plus on offer, the price for the two is way higher than what's really worth.'
(Desperate Kazuma): KONOSUBA!
"…Wiz, can I ask you something?"
"Of course!"
"Won't you get trouble with Vanir? For wasting the shop's funds?"
"Ah, don't worry about that. I'm confident that these will fly off the shelves!"
"How can you tell?"
"Because they said so! 'They will fly off the shelves!'."
Oh, Wiz. There are time and place to believe in the good in good of humanity.
'This is bad. Wiz's shopkeeping power is zero… no, below zero!'
"Then shall we go back, Kazuma-san?"
While Wiz was smiling at her 'supposed' good purchase, Kazuma was screaming inside. He could see Vanir with his murder ray ready. And he was glaring at Wiz. ...Or was it at him? He really couldn't read that demon.
He really had to do something now. He couldn't go back and cancel her orders since it was already done. Then what to do? What to do? He had to do something. This was going from a pleasant assessment to an another life betting gamble!
He felt that cold chill run down his spine again. The chill he felt when Megumin dragged him off to cast her explosions. The chill he felt he felt when Aqua made him take her treasure hunting to the Church Catacombs. The chills he felt when Darkness gave him black leather whip for a present.
'This might be the most dangerous thing I've ever done.'
A/N 2019, Project Augustus. In courtesy of Sammo909.
