John couldn't stop glancing at the kid who was all but buried in the book he was reading.
The kid was endearing and charming in his own way, there was a sorrow that hung around him that no matter how much he tried to smile was evident. The murder of his girlfriend and the sudden thrust into the hunting life was not something that John would've wished on anyone, let alone someone so young.
John cleared his throat and it took a moment for Sam to blink, breaking free of his concentration and look up at him with wide eyes. "Yes Mr. Winchester?" he asked.
John smiled at that. "You can just call me John, calling me Mr. Winchester makes me feel old." he said, his voice soft and fond. "How you doing with all that reading?"
"Good, really good." Sam said, closing the book carefully and putting it down. "It's a lot to memorize but I'm good at that."
"Bobby mentioned that you were pre-law." John said, leaning back in his seat. "Which school?"
"Stanford." Sam told him, a small smile appearing on his face. "Its where I...met her." his voice hitched and he looked away. John saw him swallow hard and quickly changed the subject.
"Why Stanford?"
"It gave me the best options." Sam said, reaching out to trail his fingers over the book. "I got into a few places but Stanford was offering a full ride so," he shrugged, falling silent.
"Sounds like you're a really smart kid." John said, smiling as he watched Sam, feeling something tighten in his chest. "I'm sure your parents are proud."
Sam didn't say anything for a moment. "I don't have parents." he said quietly, barely audible. "They died when I was a baby."
"I'm sorry." John said almost immediately. "I...I didn't know."
Sam shrugged but didn't look at him, focused entirely on the book on the table once more. "Its fine, happened a long time ago." he mumbled.
John cleared his throat again, trying to find something else to say. "I used to have a son." he said quietly. Now it was his turn to look away when Sam looked at him. "And a wife."
When he didn't say anything else Sam spoke, "What happened to them?"
"I lost them to demons." John said, fingers twitching slightly. "Demons took them from me and I've...it's been a long time since then, over twenty years, but..." he rubbed at his chest. "Still hurts every day."
Sam was just staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face and when John looked up at him he had to pause. "Sam? Son? You okay?"
Sam blinked and whatever had been on his face disappeared and he nodded. "Yeah." he said softly. "I'm sorry to hear that. How did the demons take them?"
"Usual possession, even doing it to a kid." John told him, staring at him for a few moments. "I never saw them again and quite frankly...even if I do, I'm not sure of what's left of them after all these years."
Sam moved slowly to take the book off of the table, opening it and going to a chapter he had already read, finger moving over the page slowly. "It says here that most souls are destroyed when a demon possessing a person."
"Yeah that's true." John sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "So especially then, and a child's soul is...fragile." he closed his eyes, hands shaking slightly. "I don't have any hope after all this time."
Sam was staring at the book, not looking up at him. "Well...why do you hunt then?" he asked quietly, gripping at the edges of the book tightly.
"I don't know what else to do. Part of me wants to find the demons and make them pay." John said truthfully. "The other part of me wants to stop everything so...the hunting keeps me focused. Helps me have a reason to keep going through each day, helps me know that I'm doing some sort of good out there in the world."
Rubbing at his chest John slowly stood up, going towards the kitchen. "I'm gonna get a drink." he said quietly. "Want anything?"
"No, thank you." Sam said watching him leave the room, trying to hide the fact that his hands were shaking by gripping at the book tightly.
Despite his control, despite the power of the devil's trap above him and a stomach full of holy water Sam felt everything slip inside of him and his eyes flashed completely black as outside the car that Bobby was working on exploded and cracked, much to the displeasure of the older hunter.
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