Thank you for beta'ing, A Star In My Universe! ¡Felíz Cinco de Mayo!
Elizaveta and Vadium are Red's parents.
Warning: mentions of death, domestic and child abuse, anti-Semitism, and hate speech.
te quiero-I love you (family member)
"What do you think she's gonna give us?" Charles asks.
He and Diane head to the backroom since she's just gotten a text from Gloria that Celeste Chapman has brought something for them and the other Gen-Xers, and she needs all six of them in the same place. Diane slips her hand into Charles' and their fingers interlock. As they travel through the cafeteria, students and teachers alike start wolf-whistling and clapping for them. Diane just beams proudly and walks taller and with more confidence than normal. Charles appears to be so enthralled to have her alongside him.
"Nothing bad...she's always been nice," Diane answers positively. "She didn't deserve Bill as a son."
Once they get to where Fahri, Gloria, Aleida, and Leon are sitting on the counters, waiting with the older woman, Celeste introduces herself to the men and shakes hands with them.
"It's nice to meet you, ma'am," Leon says politely.
"You too."
"Yes, and I'm terribly sorry about your granddaughter," Fahri adds.
"Thank you for your condolences, young man. I loved her so much...I'd tell her to go out and eat the world, not to become some guy's little housewife. Do you know that I gave her knitting lessons?"
"That's great. I enjoy knitting," Charles comments.
"She spent six months on a blanket for her stuffed monkey, but then my selfish daughter-in-law hosted a yard sale and gave it away. She charged a quarter." Celeste sighs. "When my husband passed, I invested in the stock market and moved to Wellfleet. I also kayak."
"Oh, cool," Diane tells her.
Celeste brings out a tin from behind her back and opens it. "I made these sugar cookies for you, as an apology gift for my son and his wife's behavior. What they said to you at the game was so disrespectful. Carol's sister Kathy is much better."
"Okay, but this don't mean we gonna be friends with 'em," Aleida mutters and takes two. She hands her other one to Leon and they start eating theirs. "Wow, this is hella good, though!"
Celeste shrugs. "I understand. I'm pleased you like my cooking! These are famous, I share them with everybody."
Gloria, Fahri, Diane, and Charles each pluck one cookie out of the container and munch upon them. "Mmm, thank you!" Diane murmurs after swallowing her bite. "You really didn't have to do this for us."
"No problem, dear! I just felt it was the right thing."
"It was pretty cool of you," Gloria chimes in. "You gotta give us your recipe!"
"I will! One time, when she was ten, I let Piper assist me with these. She accidentally overdid the baking soda and just...burst into tears, poor child. 'Oh my gosh! I wrecked Christmas, I'm so sorry, Grandmother!' I assured her they'd turn out okay, and she actually made it better. I told her that life is made in mistakes. After she went home, I made them over again."
The adults give Celeste sympathetic smiles, even Aleida, who had declared her hatred for Piper many times through the years past. "I'm real glad you had her, then," Aleida murmurs.
"Yeah, and the other way around, too. Not many people have such sweet grandmothers such as yourself," Gloria states. "You gotta meet my aunt, I think you two would get along well."
"Oh, okay!" Celeste replies brightly. She gives them hugs and bids them goodbye.
After Lorna has finished squealing about how she'd sensed chemistry between Alex and Michelle while the three of them had fun working with Daya in Spanish class, she pulls out a piece of paper with her dainty handwriting on it. "I wrote Angela a letter. I'm real good with words, I suppose. It's nothin' bad, I swear, so don't give me that raised eyebrow, Nicky! Y'all can read it."
Nicky composes herself and sighs. "Okay, let's have it. Hand it over."
Lorna places it into Nicky's waiting hands and she scans it.
Dear Angela,
I'm so sorry for what I did in trying to steal Christopher. I was wrong in what I did, and I hope you can forgive me. I promise that I'll never do it again. Neither will I bother Christopher anymore. Also, I'm totally over Christopher. You would make a great girlfriend for him. If you don't want to forgive me, I understand. However, I have a gift for you, and I hope you like it. Look inside this envelope. I hope that you will accept my apology and we can start over. Those past three weeks, I was very inappropriate and selfish, but I've changed. Anyone can change. My girl, Nicky, used to be addicted to heroin, but she's clean now. I will not bother you or Christopher ever again, I promise. I know you might not trust me because I'm not your friend, but I'm Nicky's girlfriend, and the others are my besties. They're all nice, and there must have been a reason they chose me as their friend. Anyway, I'm not trying to brag. All I'm saying is that I have changed, and even though I was mean before, I'm not like that anymore, and I'll never be like that again. Angela, you are nice, funny, pretty, and you're a great girlfriend for Christopher. I hope that you will accept my apology, but if you can't, I won't blame you.
Love,
Lorna
P.S. I'm sorry for causing drama and fighting with you. I was jealous, immature, and selfish. Don't worry, I've changed.
"I don't think you should give this to her! It may bring up more problems..." Nicky lets Alex, Michelle, Daya, and Flaca read it. "What do you think?"
"Yeah, she might rip it up," Alex says and Flaca, Michelle, and Daya nod in agreement.
"What else did you give her, though?" Flaca wants to know, and Lorna snatches back the letter and sticks it into the envelope.
"Lipstick! I'm just tryin' to do a nice peace offering."
"She'll think you're being a kiss-up. Some people just ain't worth it!" Daya proclaims.
"Yeah, it ain't like she was your best friend, significant other, or a family member or nothin'," Michelle points out. "You're like, dead to each other."
Disappointment clouds Lorna's features. "I just wanted to be the bigger person here."
"I know, baby, and you're hella sweet, but it's not necessary to apologize to someone who most likely won't listen. Don't waste your time on her," Nicky recommends.
"Okay..."
Adarsh passes them with Yadriel and Diablo behind him. "Hey, Daya, we'd be totally down to chill with you, Maria, and Blanca! Does Friendly's on Sunday sound good?"
"Yeah, it's perfect," Daya responds with a grin from ear to ear.
"Cool."
Red approaches them and the boys leave. "Lorna...do you have someplace to stay tonight?"
"Yeah, at Alex's place, and tomorrow, a bunch of us are goin' to Flaca's. You don't gotta keep checkin' on me, Red. I'm couch surfing for a week, is all, and once things are settled, me and Franny and Lida would switch back and forth between our houses."
"What about your brother?"
"Franny's tryin' to reform him, but if he doesn't behave in a few days' time, she'll have him live with Frieda since that lady can keep him in line and she only has one job, which is being an English teacher! On the contrary, Franny is busy as hell with her bartending and working at Starbucks and she only has a few hours per day for down time, which she would use to attend to our parents, but now, she's free to hang out with me or Lida. So far, Mikey has called Charles the N word because he wishes his father wasn't in prison and keeps blaming Charles for his arrest. He'd also peeked in on Lida in the shower, so Franny scolded him, he talked back, and then she slapped him for not listening and taking Lida's discomfort seriously," Lorna informs the girls and Red.
"Good!" Maritza comments. "He better not report that since he deserved to get hit!"
"Yeah..."
"Frieda could probably whip that punk into shape. How dare he, feast his vile eyes upon Lida, who is like a daughter to me? If Vasily was home...well, I shouldn't tell you want I want my son to do to your brother, Lorna, but it's not a happy scenario that I'm picturing in my head right now."
"I get it, I'm sorry he's such a bratty pig fucker...he didn't touch Lida, but she was creeped out and she yelled a lot of Russian swears at him. He says she's a witch...even though he's only twelve, he knows what he's doing isn't okay since me and Franny and Ma have told him over and over again not to ever copy his father's bad habits, and he doesn't give two shits about our rules. He has gotten out of control, so he'll most likely need Frieda."
Red smirks. "Very well."
Two figures are making their way towards Diane in the mostly empty hallway, and once she sees who they are, her blood runs cold and she quickens her pace. She never thought she'd have to deal with them again. She clutches onto Charles' upper arm and tries to rush them inside her classroom, but a firm hand clamps tightly around her wrist from behind and pulls her back.
"Hey, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Charles demands, getting in between Diane and the older couple.
"We're her parents," Edward Vause snaps. "Leave us be." He spits at Charles' shoes. "Niggers like you don't belong here, especially around white folks."
Diane closes her eyes in humiliation and then mouths an apology to her boyfriend. "Oh my god! Stop it! Don't you dare talk to him like that!"
"Your father can say whatever he pleases," her mother, Phyllis, growls. "I see you haven't strayed from the dark side."
"Neither have you, from the bitch side!" Diane retorts.
Their faces turn red with anger. "Come outside with us now!" her father roars, and they both drag her away by her hair, forcing her to run with them to their car and locking her inside, despite Charles trying to fight his way through them to rescue her from their evil grasps.
"I'll be fine, go back to work!" she urges her boyfriend. "Your break is almost over, don't get fired because of me! Please just go, it'll be better if I do what they say."
"Alright," he says uncertainly. "Text me when you can, baby!"
"I will!" They blow each other kisses and then he leaves, but he keeps looking over his shoulder at her until he gets into his vehicle.
"Look what he's done to you!" Edward bellows.
"He didn't..."
"You like being punched by a spook?" Phyllis asks. "He caused your eye to be as black as him!"
"It was actually-" Diane begins, but she's interrupted by Edward backhanding her so hard that she's now quivering and sweating. His ring had scraped against her cheek and she's sure she's bleeding a least a tiny bit. She can't find her voice and she blinks rapidly while gasping in shock.
"We should have sold you when we had the chance, you nasty little bitch!"
"Are...are you gonna...kidnap me?" Diane asks shakily. "My man's a cop, so you'll be arrested right away. I'll tell him about everything you're doin' to me."
"Relax! Your father and I just wanted a word with you, since we heard about our granddaughter being in the news and we wanted to meet her. You've turned into a lovely woman, we did very well." Phyllis goes to comb her fingers through Diane's hair, but Diane pushes her away.
"Don't fucking touch me, Syphilis! I don't need to get infected with the disease of bigotry. You don't even deserve to know my daughter's name, let alone meet her in person!"
Edward glares at her and Phyllis grits her teeth in fury. "We'll have to work on that nigger lover shit," he grumbles. "We had the perfect man for you, so rich and handsome...and it's quite unfortunate that he died."
"He was a horrible old person, though, ain't that funny?" Diane quips.
"Now, every couple needs exquisiteness and wisdom...you supplied the beauty, and he was the brains."
"I hated him, Mommie Dearest. Relationships and marriage are built on love!" Diane insists timidly.
Her father practically yanks her hair out of her scalp. "Do you know I never wanted you to begin with? Your mother saved your ass from that orphanage's steps! Your eyes and your gigantic tits made you the biggest prize on the black market, and all the men wanted you, even from childhood..."
A queasy feeling spreads through her and she lets out a few whimpers as she chokes up. "I wanna go. Please let me outta here!" she begs.
"It's very nice to meet you, ma'am, sir," the elderly man tells Diane's parents while shaking their hands. "I will take your daughter off your hands as soon as possible. I'm part of the Aryan Brotherhood, have been for a long while, since we captured the Mockys and wiped 'em out of Germany, and I can keep whores in line." He stares at Diane with a hungry look in his beady eyes. "She'll be a good girl, or she'll be going into the gas chamber." She's like a solid ice block at this point, she's so afraid.
"That might mess up her appearance," Phyllis mutters.
"Yeah, you shouldn't do anything where clothes or makeup can't hide it," Edward adds.
"She'll be on a torture rack, naked with her limbs all stretched out, then."
"So...so you're a Nazi?" Diane pipes up nervously. "I'm sixteen, I'm too young to get married...I have to graduate high school first." She flinches when he snarls low under his breath. "My...my parents would agree...prob...probably..." She's terrified to even glance in his direction and she jolts in her seat when he takes his belt out of the loops on his pants and winds most of it around his hand, leaving the belt buckle dangling. He licks his lips and cracks metal on the wood floor all of a sudden. Diane shrieks and claps her hand over her mouth. Her parents, who are supposed to love and protect her, don't even budge, but this doesn't surprise her in the least. They've never shown an ounce of compassion or endearment towards her, and they won't change their ways. She wishes her big brother were here to whack these incompetent adults in the backs of their empty skulls. He was extremely lucky to escape their parents' cult by going to college for football, and they'd just destroyed her only hope that they'd allow her to go to Julliard where she could become a famous dancer and never see them again. She cannot get out. With this Nazi veteran, her dream won't have a slight chance of coming true.
"You talk out of turn again, I'll whip you with this. I'm just Master to you, my small, submissive pet. You have no right to know my name...or anything else, really. You may not speak first or have the last word. Your stage and slut name will be Molly. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Master," she answers quietly, and her soft response brings a twisted grin to his face. He's soon pushing his dirty mouth onto hers and she cries silently at how powerless she is right now.
Luckily, the bell ringing is what makes Diane's parents release her. She just about throws herself out of the car and runs at full speed back into the school, hyperventilating all the while. Diane takes a moment to lean against the wall in the staff bathroom and get her breathing under control again. She cleans the blood off the small cut on her cheek and touches up her blush so it doesn't show. She wants to sob, but she knows she has to hold it in until at least the end of the school day, so she does.
"What do you mean you haven't even started, Trish?" Allie wonders out loud at lunchtime. "It's due on Monday...we've had a week!"
"It's a stupid poem!" Tricia snaps. "I can't think of shit!"
"My mom won't make anyone read theirs out loud, I promise." Mercy squeezes Tricia's hand under the table.
"Mm-hm...and we're aware that you don't know much about your parents or grandparents, but you can write about memories you've shared with your sister and Red so far," Neri recommends. "Cal's grandma isn't with anyone, so he just used his late grandpa he never met. Ms. Valduto doesn't care, the point of the assignment is to follow the style of "Where I'm From", like how George Ella Lyon wrote it."
Tricia scoffs. "You don't even like seventh grade English, Neri."
"No, it sounds scarier than sixth. What's your point?"
"I dunno. Nothin'."
Grace hands Tricia a piece of lined paper filled with her writing. "Here's mine, if you want an example."
I am from Barbie dolls,
from dresses and princess movies.
I am from Toys 'R' Us
Tempting, fun.
(as comfortable as my doll, Natalie)
I am from the playhouse that my dad and I built,
toy cars that I rode around the house
as if the house were a racetrack.
I am from Sweetheart and lovely singing voices
from Jane and Dennis Sr.
I'm from the chatty kathies
and the wild bunch
from Get off the computer and No more T.V.
I'm from reading books
with my favorite music playing
and eating cookies that I can make myself.
I'm from Modesto and Chesapeake Bay,
pasta and Gatorade.
From bike-riding on the weekend to everything my sister needs my help with.
In my office was a photo album filled with pictures of my relatives,
a sift of loving faces
to drift beneath my dreams.
I am from those moments-
and looking forward to my future
leaf-fall from the family tree.
"Well, that's pretty vanilla, you're the only one out of us girls who's had a normal childhood. Great job, though!"
"Thanks..."
"Oh, anytime! Look, I appreciate you tryin' to help me, but I might just go to Red and Nicky for this one."
"Okay, then."
"Mommy, I made a new friend today!" Christina announces happily as she skips inside the apartment ahead of Aleida, who's carrying Emiliano. "Her name's Lindsay and she likes Barbies and scooters and the color pink, just like me! She always wears super duper high pigtails and I never had a friend who was a girl before! She said she doesn't got cooties, but she's cool with Benny, only 'cause he and I are real close."
"That's awesome, baby!" Aleida beams down at her daughter as she locks the door behind them and adjusts Emiliano further up on her hip. He's sucking his thumb and sleeping with his head on Aleida's shoulder. Mrs. Abdullah had reported that he was so energetic at nap time that he stayed awake and is now extremely exhausted.
"I know! Can I invite her over? Pleeeeease?"
"Sure, when would you want to? I'll bake cookies so you girls can decorate 'em and shit."
"Coooool!" Christina squeals. "How about Saturday since you'll be home then? I want her to meet you first. She wants you to make her nails pretty like you do for me."
A surge of pride rushes through Aleida. "Alright, that sounds great!"
Christina jumps up and down and hugs Aleida around her waist. "Yay! Thank you, Mama!"
"You're welcome!" Aleida strokes Christina's hair and kisses her cheek.
After she places Emiliano into his crib and puts Christina's brunette curls into two French braids, a knock sounds at the front door. Emiliano starts crying suddenly when Aleida is just about to answer whoever's outside. "Dios mío..." she mumbles. "So much happening at once..."
"I'll get it!" Christina volunteers, relieving the momentary stress. Aleida quickly runs into the nursery room and picks up her wailing son. "Okay...shhh...shhh, buddy," she whispers as she jiggles him in her arms and slowly walks around in circles. "I know, you're a tired boy." He screams louder and then an unpleasant smell wafts through the air. "Oh, did you shit? Lemme change you."
As soon as she gives him a fresh diaper, he's cheerful again, but still yawning. She tries putting him back to bed, but he wants to stay with her. He clings to her legs and she sighs while lifting him up and adjusting him so he's against her chest again. His little hands clutch onto her shirt and he looks so innocent and docile that Aleida beams. "You're so adorable, mijito," she tells him while nuzzling noses with the little boy. He reaches up and touches her face gently as he giggles. "Te quiero."
"Love you too, Mommy."
Christina enters the room. "Mama, Charles is here, and he wants to talk to you. I told him to wait and then I showed him my Barbies and my scooter so he wouldn't be bored."
"Thank you, baby girl." Aleida kisses her index and middle finger and touches Christina's button nose with them. "I'll be right there in a second! I'm coming now." She rushes behind Christina to where Charles is on the couch and reading one of Leon's Time magazines. He stands up when she arrives and they exchange a grin while waving hello to each other. He gestures for her to take a seat near him, so she does. Christina sits between them, swinging her legs back and forth and making her Barbie doll dance on her lap. Aleida bounces Emiliano on her knees while holding him tightly, but not enough to hurt him.
"Hey...so, I'm guessing this is news about my trial? Like, you got an official date yet?"
"About that...hold up...where's everyone else?"
"Leon and Glo are working, Daya's at a friend's house, and Benny and Julio are with their aunt. What's up?"
"This is important, but I never got the chance to tell you until now." Charles frowns and appears to be sad. He glances over at Christina. "Listen, kiddo...you mind if I talk to your mama alone?"
Aleida runs her knuckles down the side of Christina's little face. "Why don't you get Emiliano his favorite toy and play with him for a bit?"
Christina nods. "Okay, it's grownup time, I get it!" She runs off and comes back with Emiliano's mini yellow tow truck and a few ABC blocks. To Aleida's delight, this distracts Emiliano right away. He slides off her knees and begins entertaining himself with what Christina has brought him. The children quickly go into another room and Aleida braces herself for what Charles has to speak with her about.
"When we goin' to court?" she asks him.
"Uh, there was a complication, he broke out, so as soon as I catch that mongrel..."
It's like the air has whooshed out of Aleida's lungs and she gasps. "What?!"
"He and his wife are on their way to Illinois. Cops have been following them, but they're driving at full speed," Charles informs her gravely.
"I hope they crash and die," Aleida mutters. "Fuck that motherfucker!"
"I know...but we'll get 'em. It's just gonna take more time."
"Cesar told me that he'd give my rapist a good slocking...I guess he wasn't fast enough." Aleida sighs shakily. "They've always wanted to go to Arizona...I ain't givin' him a chance to get to Tuscon with Lourdes! I can't stop 'em, but...I won't just let 'em go. He ain't gettin' away with his crime!"
"I know. I won't let him."
"Oh, good." Aleida begins hyperventilating rapidly and she grabs his hand. "It's like I can't breathe or somethin'..." Her chest constricts in agony and her heart races erratically. She lets out a series of whimpers as tears crawl out of her eyes and down her cheeks.
"Try inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling out your mouth." Aleida does what Charles recommends, but she's still trembling and feeling extremely weak. "Aleida, it's all gonna be okay, I promise."
"Ay dios mío," she mumbles between sobs and nearly slides off the couch with her eyes closed. She's so lightheaded that she doesn't want to look at anything or anyone right now. She senses him keeping her in place. "I'm having a panic attack, what do I do?"
"Stay in the present moment...tell me what you can hear, see, taste, smell, and touch...five things for each."
Aleida nods slowly and tries to focus. "Alright, first, sounds...my kids' giggling 'cause they playin' together, the clock ticking, outside noise like...an ambulance siren goin' off...my heartbeat thudding, and my...my breathing. Tastes...spicy, sweet, salty, sour, cold. Touch...rough, soft, warm, freezing, hot. Smells...the flowers Leon got me, the fresh enchilada casserole in the oven for dinner tonight, my perfume, Leon's cologne, and chocolate the little ones must be eating right now. Sights..." She opens her eyes slowly and rubs them to get rid of the blurriness. "The sofa we're sitting on...a multicolored blanket behind me, a wooden table in front of us, a red lamp above the kitchen table, and...and you." She manages a smile through her tears as she relaxes. "I'm at home, safe in my apartment. Thanks...that really helped." Aleida throws her arms around Charles and he hugs her back. They stay in that position for a few seconds before releasing each other.
"You're very welcome!"
"How will this trial go?" Aleida wonders aloud. "Don't tell people, but I'm nervous, and I don't wanna admit it to nobody else!"
"Some survivors cry during their statement and it's okay to show emotion-"
"Well, you might just get your wish!" she snaps.
"It's not that I'm hoping you'll be visibly upset...it's normal, is all. It's fine if you aren't, though. You'll tell the judge and jury and audience what happened and you'll be cross-examined by his lawyer. He's gonna try to trick you with questions such as what you were wearing or drinking or if you said or did anything that made him do it...you just answer honestly, but say that it doesn't matter because rape is a straight-up crime regardless. He and the perp will make you nervous-"
"I ain't gonna let 'em see it on my face when his bastard lawyer is askin' me shit. I don't wanna make 'em feel like they got somethin' over me like power."
"That's good. You gotta keep your cool, because the defense wants to see you crumble."
"Yeah, I know."
"If you need a break, you can ask for one."
Aleida nods her head in understanding. "Okay."
"Also, he'll be there...and you can look anywhere but at him if you want."
"I'll face the clock or my people like I did back in high school when I had to give oral presentations."
"One last thing...and this is just a confidence boost. You're not a victim...you're a survivor. You're brave."
She stares at her lap glumly. "I'm dead inside sometimes, though."
"That's understandable...you were put through something horrible and you're traumatized from it." He rubs her back in soothing circles and she leans her head on his shoulder for a few seconds.
"My family and friends make me more alive, and school is a nice distraction...it's just when I'm alone for brief moments, like I'm hyperaware when I go anyplace by myself at college or work, and I got a icy feeling of dread...or if I see some ugly old white man, that does it for me, too."
"I'm so sorry...that must be tough."
"My boss ain't that bad since he wears a toupee, which I find hilarious since it looks so dorky!" She and Charles both snicker at this, and she's suddenly feeling a lot better.
"Oh my god...what the fuck? Where am I?" Alex slurs while breathing heavily. She bangs on the circular glass pane and realizes with horror that she'd been locked in her own dryer, or Charles', rather. "Shit, not again! Help!" she shrieks over and over again until her voice grows hoarse. It's no use, since nobody has come in. They're not even home. She's trapped in the confined space until Diane or Charles has to do laundry, and then she'll have to explain how she got there in the first place. She doesn't know how to and she has an inkling that P had done this to her, but it could've also been Vee. Alex is extremely close to crying and if she didn't have claustrophobia before, she's definitely suffering through it now. Being so tall makes it worse, since she's more cramped than a smaller person would be.
"Alex?" a distant voice sounds from outside.
She jumps back when she sees Piper through the glass, kneeling down with a worried look on her face. "Whoa! This isn't real...I'm seeing shit..."
"I'll get you out." With a grunt, Piper opens the door with ease and Alex halfway falls out with her hands on the floor and her glasses slipping down her nose. "I'm skilled in this, if you recall. Mr. Luscheck just didn't explain how to open Myra. This one's easy."
"I can't believe he hired me and Pennsatucky to do his fuckin' laundry," Alex replies, surprising herself because she's basically talking to a ghost. "Wow, I must really be high." She crawls the rest of the way out and sits against the dryer while pushing the door closed. "What am I even doing here..." Alex groans while massaging her temples. "I probably need fuckin' water." She turns away when Piper starts stroking her cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. "Don't...now's not the time. I have a girlfriend anyway."
"Come on, Al. You and I both know it's not gonna last...especially since her friends say she's sleeping with the enemy, who is obviously you! They'll soon convince her to leave you." Piper leans close to Alex's face, and Alex turns away from her. "I'm just warning you. Hey...you were the best out of all the girls. You always forgave me...you loved me more than my own family did...our friends turned against me, but you never did." Alex shrinks back when Piper kisses her gently, and she hates the pleasurable sensation that courses through her veins as her muscles relax and her lips are now tingly and warm when she touches them. "I can't wait til we're twenty-three and going to Paris and then the Seychelles for the first time ever...won't that be marvelous?"
"I'm dating someone, and you're dead! It's too late for all this..." Alex rolls away from Piper, but the blonde keeps threading her fingers through Alex's hair.
"How'd you even get into this situation?"
Alex shrugs. "I have no idea! I mean like, I don't know who pushed me in since me and Pennsatucky are good now."
"I bet P got the idea from her," Piper mutters.
"Do you know their identity?" Alex asks hopefully. "I double checked to make sure nobody followed me home...and the front door is locked! All the windows are shut...it's impossible for any intruders to get in."
"I did...easily."
Alex rolls her eyes. "Of course you did, you're an optical illusion because I'm on weed...and I've got a few hours to come down. You didn't answer my question...from before. Who's P?"
"Can't tell you," Piper says mysteriously.
"Don't be a jerk, Pipes...this is serious."
"Look...last time I opened my big mouth, it got me into some dangerous shit. I can't risk that anymore."
"My head is pounding and my heart is popping out of my chest with how fast it's beating...I'm probably gonna throw up soon because of the withdrawal symptoms, but I'm not finding myself all that addicted. I'm asking you one thing...please..."
"We can leave here together, or I'll never visit you again."
"Hey, Ma, I'm goin' to put my stuff away in my room and then I'mma head over to Alex's," Daya calls out once she walks into the house. She sees Aleida setting up a blue rocket ship tent with yellow stars that looks tiny enough for the little ones to play in. "Oh, they're gonna love that!"
"Yeah, they're learning about planets and outer space in Emilio and Julio's class, and Christina and Benny love that shit, too."
"I miss when science lessons used to be so innocent and fun," Daya murmurs wistfully. "Now it's like...dissecting animal brains!"
"At least you don't got Humps no more."
"I know, I shouldn't complain...but Ms. Bell is graphic, more like Ms. Berlin, though...so not in a personally attacking us way. I'm grateful."
"You should be! I completely understand wanting to be a kid again, though."
"Yep..." Daya throws her blue backpack on her bed and returns to the foyer, about to leave her apartment again.
"Hold up, I wanna talk to you." Aleida guides her to the sofa and Daya frowns at the interruption.
"What? Ma, I gotta go."
"You can in a minute. We ain't had time to say much to each other all day, and I was wondering...where'd you get the knife you hurt Piss-cuntella with?"
"Oh, uh...just one of the girls in Maria's crew...Zirconia. She's an expert at fake holding a gun, like she puts her fist in her pocket and sticks out her thumb and index and middle fingers in the formation of a gun." She demonstrates it for her mother, who appears to be stunned. "Why does it matter?"
"It was only a question. You ain't never even bumped into someone on purpose...so it was shocking to find out from Leon that you stabbed somebody."
As she thinks about it, Daya can feel the cold handle of the knife as if she's still gripping it, and the pressure of the huge body sinking into the blade. "Yeah, I guess I'm like a warrior now. We were protecting Diane, and I told them to bring weapons! It was fantastic harming the beast."
"I hope he gets slayed soon, though."
"I do, too."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it was nothin'." Daya shrugs. "He's a monster, what the fuck do I care?"
"You're right."
"Can I go to Dylan's house with Michael this weekend?" Benny asks as he and Gloria watch Julio do an art project with purple dot paint on green construction paper. "He loves fire breathing dragons, he's got a gazillion shirts of them and has two big brothers who play baseball, Peter and Michael...but Michael wants to be a cool dude and he told Dylan to call him Mike. They don't play with trucks, but me and Dylan and the other Michael...our friend in kindergarten, we do."
"Sure, I don't see why not!" Gloria beams at the fact that Benny is making more friends.
"Yaaaay!" Benny hops in place, alternating from his left leg to his right. "He said his mommy and daddy can watch me while you have fun with the grownups!"
"Oh, well, that was nice of them!"
"Dylan almost fell out a window and went to heaven," he mumbles. "His mommy and daddy were really scared."
Her heart breaks at how quickly the topic had changed from light to dark. "Who the fuck was watching him?"
"I think he said her name was Suzanne, but she's not s'posed to see him anymore. She'll get in big trouble since she took him away from the park and he even called nine-one-one because she said he couldn't go home."
"Shit...that must've been terrifying. I'm glad he's okay."
"What's heaven?" Julio asks.
"You 'member I told you, it's up in the sky where the angels are," Benny informs his younger brother.
There's only one girl named Suzanne in Martin Van Buren High who would do something like that, and Gloria hopes this has pushed her parents to finally get her some mental help. She's sure that Suzanne wasn't aware that what she'd been doing was wrong. "It's a place where good people go when they die. If Benny's friend Dylan died, he would be there, and not here on Earth anymore. His body wouldn't move at all, he wouldn't be able to breathe or play or run or jump or laugh or nothin'," Gloria explains further. "He'd be an angel with God."
"Oh," Julio says.
"Yeah, that's what happened to Daya's friend. She was sad...but I'm confused, since some other big girls said she's in Hell, which is where bad people go and it has a lot of fire and it's under the ground." Benny glances at Gloria, puzzled. "So...is she up in heaven or down in Hell?"
"Probably neither one since some liked her and some didn't. Maybe purgatory, which is in the middle."
"Okay. I can't wait to play with Dylan!" Benny switches the subject back to being a happy and carefree one, and Gloria is glad for that. Talking about morbid things like death, especially of children, makes her depressed. She only wants to see evildoers rot in hell, such as her ex, Aleida's rapist, and the despicable former teachers, and it seems like that won't be happening anytime soon.
After getting ice cream at King Kone, Nicky and Lorna sit on a curb and people watch, when they notice two families of four, a set of parents and their two small children in each clan. One is eating their treats at a table and they appear to be happy, but the other stands out more. The father is giving his daughter a piggyback ride while the mother and son are talking back and forth and holding hands, reminding Lorna of how Gloria is with her boys. It's very sweet, but the little girl being so cheerful with her daddy is what makes a lump grow in Lorna's throat. She notices that Nicky's eyes appear to be glassy.
"Hon...if they're making you think about what you're missing, then we don't gotta be here no more." Lorna squeezes Nicky's hand and leans into her, forgetting her dessert momentarily. She sets the plastic bowl full of her Oreo sundae beside her.
Nicky wraps her arm around Lorna's shoulder after wolfing down a bite of her cookie sundae. "Nah, babe, I'm alright. I got who I need right here." She licks her lips and kisses Lorna's chocolate-coated mouth. "Red and Tricia are at home, but I'll see 'em shortly. Even if I don't have the perfect bio mom and dad and sister or brother, you three are more than enough. They're my family, and so are you, and all our friends, really."
"Oh, okay...it's just that you seem upset."
"I remember watching this sappy shit...like, in movies and television shows about normal dads doing cool stuff with their daughters, and I...I never thought it existed. Even in real life, I assumed that it was fake and I didn't want to see more than a second of it. You got no idea of what happens behind closed doors, I mean, that father could be abusing his wife or kids, or that mother could be bribing her children with ice cream so they'll forgive her for...for neglecting them for the whole week, basically. It's fucking depressing and a complete mask of domestic bliss for the rest of the world." Nicky bites her lip and stares at the sky while shaking her head. "I didn't mean to damper your mood, I'm aware you wanna think positive, but uh...you can't deny the truth of my lousy childhood traumatizing me so much that I assume the worst."
Lorna sniffles at Nicky's words and senses her eyes brimming with tears. "I understand that...I just kinda reveled in it...living in others' joyous moments, imagining that I was them. Believe it or not, but I was close to my dad before he...you know. In fact, all the Morello guys were shitty except for him, but then he showed his gross side. I will never have a grown man to look up to as a father figure. Daya's got Leon, Alex has both Charles and Fahri...they're lucky."
"Yeah, they are," Nicky agrees bitterly. "I'm happy for 'em, though."
"Same here." Lorna sighs shakily and Nicky rubs her back until she composes herself, and then they continue eating their ice cream. "Was your dad like mine? I'm sorry if that's too personal. You don't have to answer."
"Not in the pedophile sense, more like...barely in my life. He cheated on Marka, so she fucked my uncle Ray. He was out of the house, his brother was in. It was fuckin' weird and both of them had bad taste. I was like an outsider in my own home, at least when Paloma wasn't around. The drama and arguments sometimes got so loud that, uh, Paloma, she'd take me to fun places and that was cool."
"I'm glad you had her, then."
"Me, too."
Alex jumps when the doorbell chimes and she blinks a few times as soon as Piper disappears from her sight. She sees a message on her phone and then a window shuts from another room. Next time, don't smoke Mary Jane, you dumb bitch! -P
A few raps on the door later, Alex opens it to reveal Lorna, Flaca, and Daya, and she stumbles back while letting them in. "Oh, hey..."
"You look like you just seen a ghost!" Flaca points out.
"That's probably because I did, sort of," Alex mumbles.
"Why is there reefer coming off you?" Lorna fans herself and wrinkles her nose. "You smell like Nicky did when I first met her."
"Are you stoned?" Daya wonders aloud in an accusatory tone.
Alex shrugs and nods sheepishly. "Yeah, but it'll wear off soon." The girls raise their eyebrows at her and she folds her arms across her chest. "Okay, don't judge me, I had some dope for fun! I'm not hooked on it. I was able to walk home just fine...I didn't even black out...until I got into the apartment, I suppose." She walks to the kitchen sluggishly to get herself a glass of water, and the other girls follow her.
"That's still hella dangerous, Al!" Flaca says. "How'd you even get it?"
"I found a box of cigarettes in my backpack after school," Alex lies easily. "Some bitch is probably trying to frame me."
"Really?" Lorna asks incredulously and the rest appear to be just as disbelieving. "You're lucky to be alive," she adds.
"We don't wanna lose you, too," Daya chimes in.
"I know, and I'm sorry for worrying you!" They all go into Alex's room she sometimes shares with her mother. "The bigger problem is that I think P locked me in the dryer and I saw Piper!"
"No way!" everyone cries in unison.
"That's impossible," Lorna murmurs.
"I think you're making sense, actually," Flaca tells Alex. "When I was on serious meds in the hospital, she visited me, too."
"She came into Flaca's room while I was sick in her bed one morning," Daya puts in. "I was so delirious."
"Why is she seeing all of you, but not me?" Lorna wants to know.
"We're all out of it...and we're just seeing things that ain't there...or people, in this case. You ain't never been passed out or nothin'!" Flaca informs her.
"Plus, you wiped her from your brain completely, it seems like," Alex says. "I asked her who P is and she knew, but she refused to say a name."
"She was all mysterious with me as well," Daya mutters.
"Yeah, same," Flaca murmurs. "It's gotta be like, a subconcious thing. We're trying to figure this shit out, but we don't know the answers. It's like when you wake up from a flying dream nobody tells you nothin' about how you're able to do that, or a nightmare about dying, because we don't know what happens after we die."
"She kissed me...and it felt so real," Alex says quietly. "Then, she faded away like...kinda how they do in Charmed."
"Weird," her friends say in unison.
"Even though it never actually happened, I feel guilty that my body enjoyed it...my heart is with Michelle, though."
"You got nothing to feel bad about," Lorna reassures her. "You always wanted to have another chance at love with her."
"Yeah, you're right. It was all in my head, so it shouldn't be a big deal...but I was trapped in that fucking dryer...how could it have opened by itself but I was imagining Piper doing it?"
"Maybe it wasn't locked and it just opened by itself," Daya guesses. "I bet one of those fuckin' methheads thought it'd be funny to sneak in here and shove you in when you were at your physically weakest moment."
"I just remember opening the door with my key, stepping inside, and then I could barely keep myself upright and I was drenched in a cold sweat...shit!" Alex groans while clapping her hand on her forehead. "I'm such an idiot!" She had gotten a ride home from Fahri after their smoking session with Kubra and their co-workers, and Fahri had asked her if she was alright, and she kept her cool and pretended to be just fine. Unfortunately, he bought it and had driven away as soon as Alex got inside and closed the door. "I had the strangest afternoon ever," she mumbles as she lays face-down on the bed and breathes in and out with shuddering gasps of air and the girls rub her back in comforting circles. "P was here...in this house...oh my god..."
"I know, it must have been terrifying! Thank goodness they're gone now," Lorna says.
"Yeah...but maybe we shouldn't have said all that shit about Piper last night. P has been awfully silent until now, and they even helped with shooting Dixon. That wasn't for me, though, I bet. I don't wanna even think this could be true...but what if one of Maritza's guests she had over is out to get us? Nicky did say it's always someone you least expect."
"I doubt it," Flaca murmurs as she strokes Alex's hair and begins putting it into a single braid.
"Mm-hm, if that was true, then even the adults we're close to are suspects," Daya continues. "I can't see anyone who hated her betraying us...especially since we never said nothin' nice about her since she died!"
"Except for at the funeral, but that's normal," Lorna states.
"Well...good thing I purposely told them the wrong name of the panty business so they wouldn't find it if they searched. Are we sure that Spunky Young Gals is one hundred percent deleted?" Off Alex's question, the girls nod their heads yes. "Okay, then...that's awesome!"
"I know Grace was trying to get my brain into gear, but her experience is nothing like mine," Tricia says as she paces the room. "This is such a traditional family with two sets of parents and grandparents shit poem! Some of us had terrible childhoods or one grandparent, and in this poem, it's the father's side! I got nobody!" Tricia scoffs. "Yo, what if your father was an orphan at a young age before you were born or what if he wasn't in the picture at all or an absolute motherfucker? I didn't have nothin' great until I met you two. I'm too old for Barbie dolls and Toys 'R' Us now, I've never done shit with my mom and stepdad...I'm from drugs and beatings and child molestation...not somethin' I wanna share! I hope somebody kills me before this is due on Monday."
"Stop that, Trish, we'll take a look at it," Nicky tells her.
Red slides on her purple glasses and glances over the sheet of instructions. "It's quite insensitive, honey, I agree. Should I speak with your teacher, see if you can do an alternate assignment?"
"Oh, you gotta do one of those motherfuckers...requiring you to talk about your childhood as if it's something to reminisce," Nicky mutters as she peers over Red's shoulder. "I just lied through the whole thing...or I didn't do it at all and failed the class, but your girl still graduated middle school!" She offers Tricia an encouraging smile, and the younger blonde grins back at her. "You don't gotta do what you're not comfortable with, kid. Don't stress yourself out."
"I already talked to Mrs. Valduto and said I had no awesome memories whatsoever. She told me I could write about wonderful things in my life since I'm living with you two. That's cool, but I gotta be honest. I wanna do like, all the painful shit first and then have it turn into the best experiences ever. I've gone through eleven and a half years of horror, but now and forever, it's a fairytale with my mom and my sister. Mrs. Valduto promised me that only she would read it and I don't have to recite it out loud. I just wanna compose my story like I'm in The Freedom Writers Diary by the Freedom Writers and Erin Gruwell. Yo, but I'mma be private about it. I gotta mention somethin' one of you lost...normal people lose teeth to the tooth fairy growing up, but Nicky lost them to drugs or fights, so maybe I can just talk about that beast depriving you of sleep, Red?"
"That's a smart idea," Red comments. "I just thought you didn't want to do it?"
"I don't...but I gotta be straight up, yo. I always am, even when I used to shoplift. I stole a pair of headphones that were twenty bucks and paid the dude back for them two years later." Tricia plops her open journal face-up on the kitchen table where Nicky and Red are sitting. "I owe people still, but it's too late...what's done is done. Sometimes you gotta do shit you don't wanna do, you know? I can't lie, and if I do, it comes out eventually when I confess."
"True," Nicky murmurs. "You want us here while you brainstorm?"
"I don't need to...it's already there." Tricia taps her temple. "Fresh like Ma's pastries and your breath before goin' out with Lorna, or hold up, if we're talking about bad shit...skunks!"
Both Red and Nicky chuckle at this. "Aw, my girl, you're becoming so wonderful in English class!" Red praises her.
"Thanks!"
About an hour later, Tricia hands it to Nicky and Red so they can read it.
I am from a broken home,
from smashing glass and screaming.
I am from scars
(Bruises, hurt,
it was as if I were a punching bag.)
I am from the unwanted touches,
the hard belt slashing across my skin,
making blood spill like a waterfall.
I'm from piroshkis and chuckles,
from Elizaveta and Vadium.
I'm from the no-nonsense folks
and the clever ones,
from Turn down your music! and Stay out of trouble!
I'm from sobbing about my past
with my headphones on
and a hip-hop beat I can dance to myself.
I'm from Weehawken and Queens,
Russian dishes and soda.
From the many hours of sleep my mother lost because of an animal,
drugs, shoplifting, and homelessness my big sister keeps me away from.
In my room was a collage,
stuffed with pictures of my new family and I,
a sift of loving faces
to drift beneath my dreams.
I am from those moments-
and my life just keeps getting better -
leaf-fall from the family tree.
They end up beaming and hugging Tricia while all three of them are crying tears of joy. "Fantastic work, kid!" Nicky compliments her.
"I'm proud of you," Red chimes in.
"Thanks, yo!" Tricia says with a smile.
The phone rings and Diane picks it up right away. "Friendly's, how may I help you?" she asks cheerfully. All that can be heard on the other line is deep, labored breathing and static. "Hello?"
Leon sends her a quizzical look, as does Fahri. Alex isn't at the restaurant since she's having friends over and she doesn't feel like going out right now. Who is that? Leon mouths.
"I got no clue," she responds.
The creepy inhales and exhales continue, and then they stop. "When my...health improves...I will...rape you...then strangle you to death...if you do not go out with me...willingly," a dreadful voice threatens her. She can tell who it belongs to. "I want you...and Hot Pants...both," Dixon growls, and she drops the phone in horror. Quickly, she picks it back up with shaking hands and hangs up on him.
"That big lard...he's terrorizing me again, but over the phone!" Diane explains. "No matter what I do, he won't leave me alone...or Gloria, he lusts after the two of us. He's relentless!"
"So are we when we're protecting someone we care about. If he should ever get out of that hospital, we'll make sure he goes straight to the morgue," Fahri promises, and Leon nods in agreement.
"I'm glad. I just don't wanna answer the phone no more in fear that it could be him...or his disgusting buddies."
"I'll get it each time."
Diane beams at Leon's words. "Thanks! I'm relieved I have you two."
"No problem! Friends protect each other to the end," Fahri points out.
"Mm-hm..."
"¡Tienes que ayudarnos!" Michelle cries as she, Ouija, Pide, Zirconia, and an unfamiliar woman burst into the bodega in a panic. It's the first time Gloria had ever seen the girls so vulnerable and afraid.
You gotta help us!
"Sí, el novio de mi madre está detrás de ella, ¡y necesitamos un lugar para escondernos!" Zirconia explains further.
Yeah, my mom's boyfriend's after her, and we need a place to hide!
"De acuerdo, la trastienda es un buen lugar, vamos." Gloria quickly ushers them into the backroom without a second's thought. Deja vu washes through her and she remembers when she was the one who was hiding from her abuser. Lourdes gazes after them in concern and the boys are innocently building a rocket ship with magna tiles, not quite fully aware of the situation.
Okay, the backroom is a good place, come on.
"¿Que pasó?" Lourdes wants to know.
What happened?
"Estaba a punto de golpearla de nuevo, así que lo noqueamos con sartenes, ¡pero él podría levantarse en cualquier momento y encontrarnos!" Ouija replies.
He was about to hit her again, so we knocked him out with frying pans, but he could get up at any minute and find us!
"¡Me va a matar!" Zirconia's mother says. "¡Mi novio!"
He's gonna kill me! My boyfriend!
"Llama a la policía, por favor!" Pidge almost screams.
Call the police, please!
Gloria quickly springs into action and dials Charles' number. "Voy a. Tu pesadilla va a terminar pronto, ¿de acuerdo?"
I will. Your nightmare's gonna be over soon, okay?
"Gracias," the frenzied woman and girls chorus.
Thank you.
"De nada."
You're welcome.
Once Charles lets Gloria know that he's on his way to arrest the asshole, everyone is able to breathe a sigh of relief. Even though Gloria had never met the other lady, she instinctively hugs Ms. Cabrera, who's just as frazzled and bruised as Gloria had been only a month and a half ago. Lourdes and Gloria exchange a sad smile, both knowing exactly what Gloria has in common with the woman. Lourdes and Michelle are assuring the boys that everything is okay. Michelle even offers to babysit them anytime, which Gloria finds incredibly sweet, and she takes Alex's girlfriend up on her offer. Michelle only charges ten dollars an hour.
"Don't say nothin' to the rest of our crew, alright? They don't gotta know, it ain't their business," Zirconia mutters. "Besides, the past will always haunt us in flashbacks...we don't need nobody repeating this incident out loud."
"Yeah, it'll also make us look weak, and we wanna show we're anything but that," Pidge tacks on.
"It's okay to be frightened, girls-"
"Nah," Ouija cuts Gloria off. "You can't let your guard down, man. We gotta make sure you keep your lips sealed."
"I promise...I won't talk to nobody about this, not even my family or close friends," Gloria informs them sincerely. "Y'all have my word."
They give her small grins of appreciation and stay for a bit until it's certain that Zirconia's mother's boyfriend is locked up. Gloria agonizes over what had just occurred and tries to forget it and how it relates to her own traumatic past, but it's extremely difficult to erase domestic violence from her memory after living it and then, seeing it secondhand.
The girls are about to sit down and catch up on George Lopez episodes when the doorbell rings. "That must be the Chinese food we ordered!" Daya announces.
"Imma answer it," Flaca volunteers.
"Thanks, I'll get the television set up," Alex tells them.
"That leaves me to put dishes on trays and get out silverware and napkins!" Lorna says, and Alex grins at her appreciatively.
Flaca pays the woman and closes the door behind her. They each take one box to open. Daya goes first and upon noticing what's in there instead of rice or noodles, they shriek in horror and Flaca wants to gag, she feels so sick. They can't even look. They're all equally repulsed at the slimy worms that are crawling around in a pile of dirt where their meals were supposed to be.
"What the fuck?" Alex shouts.
"Ohhh shit, this spells out Humps, I knew it!" Flaca declares. "That disgusting son of a bitch!"
"Eeewww," Lorna groans. "It could be Angie, too...when I used the shower after her once, I practically threw up because she shit and there were icky worms..."
"I gotta puke, and it ain't got nothin' to do with me being pregnant," Daya mumbles as she rushes to the sink and vomits while coughing violently. Alex holds her hair away from her sweaty face and Lorna rubs her back soothingly. Flaca sees all of their phones, including hers, light up.
You should've been at Friendly's instead of discussing who I could be all night! Fucking kiss my ass, bitches! Xo, P
"That motherfucking asshole!" Flaca yells as her friends put their heads in their hands and make sounds of displeasure all at once.
Thank you for reading and reviewing, A Star in My Universe, Double99, CoffeeWritingAddiction, and MinervaSnape394!
