Erin's POV
I almost didn't walk in. I almost walked away and out of his life again for good. I had somehow convinced myself that this was my fault. That by coming back, I had screwed up his life again. But the logical part of me made me make my way into the room.
The second I reached the chair next to his bed, I collapsed into it and grabbed his limp hand. I finally let a few tears fall as I tried to focus on anything other than his bruised face. My eyes fell on the hand I was holding. I never realized how many scars he had. Probably from the war.
Eventually I made myself look up at him. He looked so tiny and helpless in the bed. Suddenly the overwhelming urge I've had these past few months to be held by him kicked in again full force and I found myself climbing into the hospital bed with him.
As I curled up into his side I listened to his breathing and remembered what the doctor said about the ventilator breathing for him and I lost it again as I let out all the fear and longing I've felt for the past 6 months.
I soon fell asleep snuggled up against him, but was startled awake just moments later by a nurse coming in to check his vitals.
Then I saw Juliana in the doorway, who had all four kids with her. She had tears streaming down her face and before she could stop her, Lily ran up to Jay's bedside and kissed his hand, telling him that he needs to feel better soon and that she missed him.
Grayson, however, took his time walking to the bed. He looked conflicted and a thousand emotions were running across his face. He most likely never saw his dad like this and it probably scared him. So I took his hand and explained to him that his daddy had been in an accident on his mission, but he needed his kids there to help him get better. Slowly, he nodded and joined Lily next to Jay.
The six of them stayed there all night, waiting for a miracle.
I woke to Hank shaking me awake. I looked up at him and saw that he had brought us breakfast. He smiled and handed the bag to me. As I ate, I noticed the far away look on Hank's face.
"What's up?" I asked, setting the food aside.
He glanced at me for a second before looking back at Jay's limp form. "It's stupid. I was just thinking about the last time this happened."
"Wait, hold up. This has happened before?" I say, shocked.
"Yeah. I mean, it wasn't as bad as this, but on his third tour back, his and Mouse's Humvee got hit by an IED. He was transferred to a hospital in Germany and I flew there to stay with him until he recovered enough to come home," Hank said, lost in memory.
I stayed silent for a minute or two, before he continued.
"When he finally did wake up, I'm glad that Sophie wasn't there. He was mumbling your name, Erin. It took me a while to calm him down," Hank said with a smile.
"Hank, I know that I can't just go back in time and change things, but if I could, I wouldn't hesitate. I don't think I ever wanted to believe it before, but I can't live without him. These past few months have definitely taught me a lesson," I say, tears welling up in my eyes.
As Hank pulls me into a hug, I hear groaning coming from the bed and I rush over. I saw his eyes open and I went to grab his hand before Hank stopped me.
"Wait! Erin, he might not know where he is. Just, give me a minute to explain everything to him," Hank says. I take a step back as I watch Hank whisper to Jay and comfort him.
"It's all right, Jay. Okay, no one is going to hurt you anymore," Hank whispers and that's when I notice the tears streaming down Jay's face as he writhes in the bed, probably in pain.
Soon I can't take it anymore and I rush downstairs to get Will. As I reach him, he knows it's about Jay and runs after me to the elevator. As we reach Jay's room, Will slows down, hearing Hank's soft tone.
Walking into that room again was hard. It felt like I was walking through quicksand with weights attached to my ankles. I felt like I couldn't move. The reality of the whole situation suddenly felt real. That Jay almost died. So I walked out of the room and rushed outside for a breath of fresh air.
After a minute or two, I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, and turned to see that it was Natalie.
"Are you okay?" She asked me. All I could manage was shaking my head.
She quickly pulled me into a hug and held me as I shook and cried.
"How could this have happened? I mean, how could all of this have gone so wrong?" I force out, still sobbing.
"Erin, what happened to Jay was horrible. No one can say otherwise. But he needs you. Okay, and he's strong. He's been through so much, and he's always come out the other side even stronger. If anyone can get through this, it's him. But, he's gonna need you at his side. You're what keeps him fighting now. So go back up there and be there for him. He needs you," Natalie says, and I nod and thank her before we head back up to the ICU together.
At his room, Will joins Natalie outside and they head back downstairs, Hank behind them, to give me some time alone with Jay. I noticed that he was already asleep, so I climbed back into bed with him again for tonight.
