ONE WEEK LATER
I woke up to the sound of someone whimpering. I almost ignored it and went back to sleep, but I noticed that Jay was moving around in the bed. I jumped up and went to shake him awake when I remembered Hank telling me to never wake him up when he was having a nightmare.
As his eyes flew open, he started groaning and I did what Hank had done the week before. Just whispered to him, that everything was okay. Eventually, he calmed down.
Then his hands went straight to the tube in his throat. I quickly grabbed his hand and he flinched, his heart rate jumping for a moment before going back down.
"Hold on, I'll get the doctor, okay, maybe he can take it out," I say, before running to find Connor.
As Connor came back into the room, he told Jay to cough as he removed the tube. His cough sounded horrible. It was wheezy and crackly. I winced as the tube finally came out and he went into a coughing fit. I held out some water to him and he chugged all of it.
"Thank you," he said, and his voice was incredibly raspy from having the tube in it for so long.
"You're welcome," I respond with a smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit," he responded. I winced at the hoarseness of his voice.
"I'm sorry," I say. "Jay, what happened out there, man. I was so worried."
"He turned his head away. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay. But I'm here when you're ready," I say.
"Alright," he sighs, shifting on the bed.
Just then Mouse rolls into the room in a wheelchair and shoots Jay a small smile. Jay notices but doesn't smile back or acknowledge him, just goes back to staring at the wall.
"Hey man. Rhodes just told me you woke up," Mouse said, wheeling next to his bed. "Jay, buddy, come on, at least look at me."
Jay weakly turned his head. "How you feeling?"
"I'll be okay, got a concussion and a few broken ribs. I'm sorry, Jay. It's all my fault this happened. If I hadn't gotten distracted—" Mouse started, getting interrupted by Jay.
"Mouse, it wasn't your fault, okay. Don't even think that. I don't regret what happened, and I would have done it a thousand more times, you know that. So stop blaming yourself," Jay said. He went back to staring at the wall.
"Okay. Well, I wanted to thank you. You didn't have to do that for me," Mouse said, getting Jay's attention.
"Mouse, there was no other choice to make," Jay replied shortly.
"Well, thank you, man. I'm going to let you get some rest," Mouse said, slowly exiting the room.
"Jay? What did he mean?" I ask cautiously.
"Just forget about that," Jay says.
"Jay, come on," I say.
"Erin, let it go, please, I don't want to talk about it," he says, and I notice his heart rate speeding up, so I listen, for now.
"Okay," I say.
He falls asleep soon afterwards. I watch him sleep for a few minutes before I also drift off, not worrying about Jay for once.
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Jay's POV
All I felt was pain. My legs, arms, back, chest, neck, head. The pain was everywhere. Gunfire. Suddenly I shoot up in bed, panicking when I don't recognize my surroundings. I feel a body moving next to me, and before I even realize it, I am on top of them, strangling whoever it is.
I feel arms tugging at me, trying to pull me off the person I'm strangling, but I just want the pain to stop.
Then I feel a prick in my neck, and in a second or two, I fall limp, blackness enveloping me again. I manage to mumble out a 'no' before conceding to the darkness.
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Hank's POV
I had just gone to get coffees for me and Erin. Then, I get back and hear scuffling inside the room only to discover that Jay was on top of Erin, strangling her. I was so shocked I froze for a second. This had happened before, yes, it happened to him when Jay had gotten back after the first tour, second, third, so on, so Hank had expected Jay to get agitated and lash out eventually.
But he had been in the hospital for barely over a month now, and he had brief moments of wakefulness before he fell asleep again. When he was awake, he was lost in his memories, a far away look on his face, stuck in a flashback.
It took everything in me to not crack in front of Erin, Juliana, and the kids as I tried to coax Jay from his nightmares and flashbacks peacefully, with no harm happening, like the incident with Erin.
After I got over the initial shock of seeing Jay actually moving, despite all his injuries, I set the coffee down and start prying Jay's arms off Erin, yelling at him, telling him that whatever he is seeing isn't real, but he doesn't seem to hear me, and before I can stop him, Will injects a sedative into his neck, following with him falling limp seconds later.
"Will! I could have calmed him down!" I tell him, after we leave the room.
"Didn't look like it! Hank, I know you know how to deal with this, I do too, he's tried to choke both of us out during a nightmare before, but Erin doesn't. Okay, she shouldn't have to deal with this just yet," Will says to me and I grunt in response and head back into the room to check on Erin.
"Hey, Erin, you okay?" I ask her.
"Yeah, I'm good, Hank. What the hell was that?" She asks me in return.
I hesitate. "Hank?"
"Sometimes, during a bad nightmare or flashback, Jay can lash out, and he might try to strangle, or hit, or attack the closest person to him as a way of defense. It's just a part of his PTSD, Erin," I explain to her.
"I just don't know how to help him, Hank. I mean, he spends so much time sleeping, but every time a nightmare has him waking up practically screaming. And when he is awake, it's only for a few moments at a time, and all he does is stare at the wall. I just want to help him, but I don't know how," she tells me. I walk over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Erin, he just got back a month ago. He was missing for 6 months. God knows what happened over there. He won't even talk to Mouse, and he was there. He's still stuck in his own head. He has to convince himself that he's really home and that this isn't some trick his mind is playing on him. Once he sorts through all the bad thoughts and starts to let people in again, he'll start to open up again. But you have to be patient. He just went through hell. Give him some time," I say, and she nods.
"Thanks, Hank. I'm gonna try and get some sleep," she says and I excuse myself, giving her some time alone.
