Happy birthday, Caitlin! Thank you for all your help in the past two years! I appreciate you so much!

Warnings: jumpscares with a snake and rats

"Is it just me, Vause, or does that woman look weirdly like an older version of you?" Nicky wants to know. She subtly jerks her head towards a middle-aged lady who has shoulder-length stiff brown hair with flecks of gray and is wearing huge, round, yellow glasses. Her facial expression appears to be stony and scary as she plays some kind of card game with six teenage girls, including Zirconia.

Alex frowns at the blonde's question. "Oh, god, I hope not. I'm gonna age gracefully."

"Yeah, you'll be a hot mom," Michelle predicts and winks at Alex, who smirks and blushes.

"You better take good care of yourself, then. According to Theresa, you start to lose your sexiness and begin sagging when you're twenty-nine." Maritza scowls. "That's how come Flaca puts her face in ice daily so she stays beautiful forever. I wonder what Gloria, Diane, and Aleida's secrets are."

"Really..." Blanca trails off and rolls her eyes. "That's loco. Everyone knows that when you honestly love someone, even as a friend, you'll always think they look fine as fuck. Who cares what other people think once we're out of high school and they've hopefully matured? I choose to wax my unibrow and straighten my hair all the time to make myself feel lovely and happy, and I'll continue doing that until I'm too old to give a shit."

"Hey, Proof of Evolution!" an annoying Boston accent calls out. If the bitch standing at the counter of Dairy Queen with her back to them were taller and had naturally golden curls instead of green dye in her flat, short blonde hair, Alex would've been reminded of Piper. The girl turns around and chuckles. "Shut up. If you were ugly to begin with, these morons only like the made-over edition of you."

"Hey, that's my friend you're talking about, you cunt!" Nicky hisses and she and the others begin to stand and glower at the rude girl, who's raising her casted arm as if to strike them.

"Yeah, you know nothin' about us, so leave us the hell alone!" Michelle adds.

"Badison! What the fuck are you doing, starting drama with these girls like some middle schooler?" the lady that supposedly resembles an elderly Alex, bursts out. "I asked you to get me a burger and fries." She gets to her feet quickly and speeds over to Badison with three of the girls she was with, following her. "I can get you back in boot camp faster than you can find a Wahlberg you haven't given a blow job to."

The girls press their lips together to keep from snickering as they take their seats again. "Oh, shit," Maritza whispers behind her fist, her eyes lighting up with silent laughter.

"Nooooo, don't make me go there ever again, Carol!" Badison whines and stomps her foot. "I hated it!"

"Then do what I say and stop talking like a baby," Carol snaps at her. "Eckelcamp, Akers, Teng, Chambal, Brock, join them." She points at the table where Alex, Nicky, Blanca, Maritza, and Michelle are sitting, and they obey her. "I'll be with you shortly." She turns back to Badison. "After you get my order, go home with Diamond. I've had enough jokes tonight."

Badison pouts. "Yes, ma'am." She turns back to the counter where Tonya is standing there impatiently and awkwardly. Carol takes a spot between Alex and Blanca while Maritza and the Asian girl who introduces herself as Charlene Teng, are talking about Flaritza's videos.

"I apologize for her immaturity," Carol mutters.

"You don't have to," Blanca says, and Alex nods in agreement. "That's just on her."

"Is her name really Badison?" Alex asks doubtfully.

Carol shakes her head no. "She named herself that. It's actually Madison."

Blanca and Alex roll their eyes at this. "Jesus, that's dumb," Blanca comments.

"What an idiot," Alex puts in.

"Well, uh, now that the matter is settled, I felt like I needed to bring up something else, but it's a secret. You two...come with me over there." Carol gets up again and leads Blanca and Alex, who are linking arms, to the women's bathroom. Michelle gives Alex a questioning stare, but the rest of their friends are distracted by the new girls Carol had been with. They're talking about how Maritza had once straightened Nicky's wild blonde hair so well that she looked like a different person. Alex just shrugs at her girlfriend, signifying she doesn't completely know what's going on, so Michelle simply joins in on the conversation the rest of the girls are having. Carol lets herself, Alex, and Blanca into the restroom and then closes the door behind them. "Finally, it's quiet." She taps a tile with her foot. "Hey...fun fact, when I was around your age, I worked here...and right on this spot, I discovered fifty bucks! I felt so lucky that day, and nothing ever topped that."

"Oh, wow, that's cool," Alex murmurs. "Um...not to be rude, but why did you wanna show us that? Did you keep it private, so it wouldn't seem like you were bragging?"

Carol scoffs. "No! I told everyone I came into contact with." She takes a deep breath and lets it out as she stares intensely at Alex. "The reason I took you in here was that I saw you at Pizza Hut beating some old woman's ass, and I didn't want anyone else of my crowd to find out. They'd blab immediately...but I won't tell the cops, because I've wished to kill someone too, when I was much younger." Panic rises and deflates within Alex at the same time, but then her eyes widen and she stiffens. "We would've actually done my little brat sister a favor, she was sick of all those stupid gymnastics competitions and complained that she wanted to die!"

"Um...are you sure you won't get me in trouble?" Alex wonders aloud nervously. She takes a step back from Carol, who seems to show no remorse for the fact that she actually aimed to end an innocent person.

"I'm positive. I've been in jail myself, and let me tell you, it's not pleasant. Why would I want some little teenage girl to go to juvy for something as petty as the murder of someone who deserved it? Did it feel exhilarating?"

"I didn't beat her to death...she just had amnesia and couldn't remember anything about who attacked her. She certainly asked for it since she came in there, acting all high and mighty...she continuously injured someone I love. I hated her...and I still do. While I was swinging at her repeatedly, I felt awesome, but when my mom pulled me back, I realized what I was gonna do...and I stopped. Even if my victim was a total bitch, getting arrested and locked up for life would be even worse. I would've gotten a light sentence, probably, since my mom's dating a cop, but still...I didn't want a record and it would totally fuck me up emotionally."

Carol nods. "I understand. Some people just aren't cut out for revenge, and that's okay."

"Yep. I'm not as strong as my friend here." She pats Blanca's back softly.

"My boyfriend and I had sex in front of this rich, white, stuck-up lady who was racist to us both," Blanca clarifies with a smirk.

"Wow! I like you," Carol tells her while grinning. "In fact, I'd love for you two to join our chess and bridge team. I'll teach you girls how to play. I'm Carol Denning. Now that you know who I am, now, what are your names?"

"Alex."

"Blanca."

"It's an honor meeting you both," Carol says pleasantly, and they smile at her.

"Not to be rude, but why pick us?" Alex wants to know.

"We've never had much of an interest in either of those games," Blanca adds awkwardly.

"I know it might be weird since we've just met, but I need smart girls who are similar to me. Alex, you and I both wear glasses and I can relate. I've never come across someone bespectacled."

"Neither have I, now that I think about it," Alex mumbles.

"Blanca...we have the same taste in men. I've noticed you making out with a fellow outside a beauty salon that I frequent, and he seems quite hairy. I really enjoy those types. You could give me advice on making my Playgirl fantasy guy come to life by maybe helping me with one of those online dating sites."

"Sure!" Blanca grins and blushes. "It's strange how we never saw each other there...even if we only went one time for homecoming."

"I must have just been leaving, but you two were busy." Carol waggles her eyebrows suggestively. Blanca giggles, but Alex cringes. "What, you're not interested in our Beauty and the Beast kink that we have in common?"

Alex shakes her head no. "I'm not into dudes at all...or talk of PDA. I'm a lesbian...um, I hope that doesn't bother you."

"Oh, of course not! I would never go for my own gender, but homophobics still piss me off. Whoever you decide to date isn't my business. All I want is for you to be happy in a relationship."

"I'm glad," Alex tells her.

Carol directs them back to the group and Badison gives her dinner right away. "Finally."

Badison salutes Alex and Blanca. "Welcome to Cunt Block, ladies. Hope you enjoyed the initiation process."

"What..." Blanca stares at Carol quizzically.

"Ignore her, she likes to pretend we're in a gang. Let's eat, shall we?" Carol takes them to their table. "Badison, get meals for our new friends. Diamond!" Carol raises her voice as she waves Zirconia over. "Stay with Badison, since you two like to chat so much."

Zirconia nods and does as Carol says.


"You inspire me," the Asian girl, apparently Teng, compliments Maritza while pointing to her hair. "As a serious swimmer, I shower a lot, so my hair is often frizzy and hard to tame...but now I know to just gather my locks into a ponytail and twirl it around with my fingers, thanks to you! Call me Charlene. I already know you're Maritza."

Maritza beams, appearing to be proud of herself. "No, thank you! I'm glad you love our work."

"It's just you, really." Charlene wrinkles her nose as if she'd smelled something horrid. "Your friend is-"

"I can relate to her!" a white girl says and hits Charlene's shoulder. She has long, silky brown hair that hangs straight down her back, doe brown eyes, and a sweet looking smile. "I'm Nicole Eckelcamp, by the way." She and Charlene shake hands with Maritza. "Where is Flaca? I wanna congratulate her."

"She's with her mom," Maritza answers. "Maybe y'all can be in our segment next time."

Nicky clears her throat. "So, funny thing, my name is also Nicole, but I go by Nicky."

Nicole cracks up. "That's hilarious! I can't even...wow!" she says through her nonstop giggling. "So...maybe you gals can call me Nicole E, so you don't confuse us?" She gestures between herself and Nicky.

"Or, we can just refer to you as Nicole and her as Curly Sue. It's easier," the African American girl, apparently Akers, says.

"Are you seriously making fun of my hair?" Nicky asks.

"No, it's a fact. Your mom fuck some dude of color?" Akers wants to know with a hint of amusement in her tone.

"Look, I don't know how I got such beautiful blonde tresses, but my mother's sex life is what I absolutely don't give a shit about," Nicky responds.

"You totally talk like Lorna sometimes," Michelle points out and Nicky just smirks.

"Who's that?" a girl with cropped brown hair, supposedly Brock, asks. "I already don't like her, by the way." She ignores Nicky glaring at her.

"My girlfriend, so I'd shut the fuck up if I were you," Nicky says. "Who names their kid Brock anyway? Your parents must hate your guts."

"Nicky," Alex hisses, glancing worriedly at Carol, who shows no emotion to this.

"Nah, it's cool, we can express our opinions, Carol said. Anyway, Curly Sue, I'm Marie at home, but here, it's Brock. I dunno, us going by our last names makes us sound tougher."

"You're right," Nicky mumbles and fakes a smile at Marie. "You don't really look like a Marie."

"In reality, the person you should be the most scared of is me," the Indian-American girl, Chambal, announces. "I'm hella good at cutting and finding the thyroid...I'm training to be an ENT surgeon...so don't piss me off."

"Is that a threat?" Blanca asks and raises an eyebrow. "Alex's mom is going out with a policeman, so we'll be sure to give him the weapon you might have on you."

"Shruti, let's not waste time frightening them," Zirconia reprimands her, and Carol gives her a thumbs up.

"Anyway...we also wrap cheese to help out Grace Grocers and make easy money," Carol informs the new girls. "I promise, this is not a scam. I can also teach you how to cook. It's life skills."

"Don't we have our parents for that?" Michelle asks.

"You're lucky you don't have to learn how to clean a bathroom and wash dirty clothes at the laundromat like Douche Block," Charlene whispers.

"Do we get paid to make food, too?" Maritza wonders aloud excitedly.

"Oh, yeah!" Carol answers.

Maritza beams at this. "Okay, I'm down, as long as my girl can be with us."

"Yes!" Nicole E. squeals excitedly, and the others, except Charlene, nod their heads enthusiastically.

"Sure, I don't care," Carol says.


"So, uh...Rick came to the house and made stupid accusations about you cheating on him, but I defended you!" Leon tells Aleida as they get ready for bed.

"Well, I did have an affair with Cesar, but you get the reason why," Aleida admits. "Thanks for sticking up for me, though! You punch him out?"

"I just threatened to since he was aggravating me by insulting you."

"The last time I ever talked to him before today, was the night he said he'd get lotsa shrimp for us. He was hella late getting home, he didn't contact me at all, and I wasn't sure if he died or he was cheating on me. I was physically ill from his nana tooting all over the place! Daya and Christina threw up at the smell, too. I was penciling my eyebrows when he finally arrived...he ignored me when I asked him where he'd been, and he opened the windows since his nana stunk the place up. I felt bad for her, but it was his fault. She'd, unfortunately, shit herself and needed Depends and wipes." Leon frowns and shakes his head. "He's such a nana's boy, she called him Ricky," Aleida goes on. " I dunno why he didn't have someone regularly taking care of her as a job...he could've paid me to do it, but he was too fucking cheap. He had the audacity to get angry with me about the drugs since he felt used...I was selling 'em to inmates, too...you know, where he worked, to get more money."

"Jesus Christ. That would've never happened if he helped you make legal moolah," Leon points out.

"It was the only way I could make a living, and all he was doin', was lazing around in some prison like a loser, makin' jokes and munchin' on donuts like Homer fuckin' Simpson! So, after our yelling fight, I picked up my cosmetics purse, grabbed the girls, and flipped him off on the way out. I said he could still visit Christina wherever we wound up, but he never did. I went around selling NutriHerbal, like healthy shakes, and we officially moved back into my apartment with Cesar's help. That was after I tried getting a job at a grocery store, but I failed...and this lady in charge of NutriHerbal sold me and my kids cookies and creme flavored smoothies, so I decided the position was okay for me." Aleida sighs. "I don't work for that company no more since it doesn't make enough and I'm in college now with a real goal, so...I'm shocked at the fact you're not a loser like my exes and that you've steered me on the right path. I'm so happy to be with you!"

Leon grins and steals a kiss while hugging her. "I am too, honey."

Aleida beams at him and both of them pull the comforter and sheets back so they can get into bed, but then they shout at the same time and stumble back from it in horror. "How the fuck did that get in there?!" she shrieks.

"Oh, hell no!" Leon exclaims.

"Don't touch it!" Aleida yelps when he reaches for it. "I don't want it to bite you...or me..."

"It's not alive, baby," he assures her. "I'm putting this into a bag for evidence."

Aleida shields her eyes so she doesn't have to see him take it off their bed. "Eeew! We gotta change the sheets now..."

"Yeah, and I'll install a security camera in here, too. Damn it!"

Still making a disgusted face, Aleida quickly strips the bed and a handwritten note flies out. She bends down and picks it up so she can read it, and then she gasps in fright while clapping a shaking hand over her mouth.

You took her from me, so you'll be as dead as this anaconda when I see you.


"Good morning, we just wanted to ask you some stuff about who you guys think may be stalking you." Charles greets Leon at the door the next morning. An African American woman is standing next to him. They step inside and Leon has them sit in chairs at the kitchen table across from him, Aleida, Gloria, and the kids. The family is in the middle of eating cereal and fruit. "Hey, this is my partner, Donna," he introduces her, and everyone exchanges a handshake with the lady. "We took some notes based on what you've reported to us, but we recommend that you write down lists of enemies who could be out to get you so we can narrow down suspects."

"A lot of times, it's someone you know and frequently, those who you least expect," Donna adds.

"Ain't that how the people you'd most expect get you, they want you to think it's someone you trust?" Aleida wants to know. "That takes suspicion off them."

"Yes, it could really go either way," Charles responds. He turns his attention to Gloria. "Now, you described Christina as trembling with pure fear, whimpering, she was so upset that she got sick, and that's how she acted when she got a nightmare the first time you babysat her." At this, Gloria nods in confirmation. Daya had wanted to believe her little sister right away, but she couldn't.

"I really don't know if that happened," Daya mumbles.

"It did," Donna informs her, and she gasps in horror, along with the adults.

"We searched the room and found fake gray fur in the carpet. That means this intruder dressed up as a wolf to spook her," Charles puts in.

"It was really scary!" Christina pipes up.

"Did anything bad happen to you last night, sweetie?" Donna wants to know, and Christina shakes her head no silently. "That's good."

"Well, my aunt's candles were ruined, and we had this unsatisfied customer, Francisco...so it could've been him getting revenge," Gloria reports.

"Put him on the list," Charles recommends. He hands out notepads and pencils. "You can keep these with you throughout the day so you can jot someone's name down whenever you think of them."

"Thank you," Leon says, and he, the women, and Daya nod at Charles and Donna while smiling.

Daya doesn't write Maria's name down since she knows Maria didn't come into Christina's room. She'd been with the girls. Daya notices Gloria's hand trembling as she starts to scrawl the letters that make up Arturo Cazador's name. She sees a pained expression cross Aleida's face as she scribbles Jack's name, and her heart cracks for both her mother and Gloria. Quickly, Daya begins compiling a list of potential prowlers, adults and fellow students who have harassed her, Gloria, Aleida, or all three of them before at school.

Arturo Cazador

Francisco Alvarez

Jack Pearson

Lourdes Pearson

Cesar Velasquez

Duardo Velasquez

Paco Garcia

Pepe Garza

Mr. Humphrey

Lee Dixon

Desi Piscatella

Joey Giordano

Polly Wedge

Helen Van Maele

Jennifer Digori

Leanne Taylor

Angie Rice

Tamika at Storky's on Wednesdays

Daya feels a shiver overcome her as she writes the next name.

George Mendez

She looks it over before stuffing it into her pocket since that's all who she can think of for now.


Once she arrives at her place of work, Gloria braces herself for speaking with Linda. Unfortunately, Caputo isn't back yet and Stratman still isn't fired. It's a good thing Fahri is with her, otherwise Gloria doesn't think she'd be able to do this. She beams at him as he squeezes her hand and rubs soothing circles on it as they sit down to face the she-devil.

"What can I do for you?" Linda asks them with a big fake grin spread across her face.

"Well, um...I was wondering if I could get a second job here, like as a dance teacher-"

Linda massages her temples and lets out an annoyed sigh through her teeth. "I swear to God, if one more of you people ask that, I'll shoot myself in the head. I've already got so many women trying to apply, Diane Vause being one of them. Jesus, you two have a career at this school already, isn't that enough? Are you really that fucking poor?!"

"Hey!" Fahri says strongly. "It's Gloria's passion. There's no need to be rude to her."

"What's one more?" Gloria wonders timidly. She sneaks a smile at Fahri for sticking up for her. "I'm real good at the salsa and merengue-"

"It's really. You're really good. I guess Joe hires people even if they don't speak proper English." Rage bubbles up inside Gloria as Linda says this, and Fahri appears to be getting pissed off, too. "Yes, I'm sure you are, judging by your..." Linda gestures to Gloria. "Nationality. Why Diane wants to be a hip-hop teacher is beyond me, since she's white, but-"

"Anybody can dance, no matter what the style is," Gloria interrupts the Sea Witch and then glares in her direction. "You know what? I been speaking English since I was about seven, but I learned it as a second language. How much Spanish do you know? I bet you're one of them white putas who got no rhythm and can't swivel her hips to save her life!" Gloria's voice rises with each word as Fahri gazes at her proudly. She points at Linda. "Here's your job, okay? Tell your boss whenever he gets back that I want the motherfucking position in salsa lessons! You got it?"

"You're fired!" Linda hollers.

"You can't do that, because you ain't even the principal!" Gloria shouts back at her and flips her off. Both she and Fahri exit the office at the same time. "Holy shit, that felt good," she breathes out and breaks off into a round of giggles. She knows she'll get her way with Caputo. She has no clue what had gotten into her, though.

"I could tell!" Fahri exclaims and they beam at each other.


Before the substitute for Frieda comes into Nicky and Alex's second period English class, the two girls, plus Maritza and Michelle, tell Flaca, Blanca, Allison, Daya, Alana, and Lorna about Gloria seeing Ouija in herself and Frieda's mother in Diane. They examine the framed, yellow-tinted photo of Frieda's parents, passing it around. They each squint at it for so long that Alex's eyes start to hurt and the others rub their temples. "My vision is getting blurry," Alex complains. "I never looked this close, but my mom really does resemble Frieda's mother! Bright eyes, cheeky cheeks, similar toothy smiles...even their chins look the same..."

Flaca gasps. "Holy fuck, I totally see it!"

"Right? Like, Ouija just has Gloria's eyes, really, but Diane and the late Mrs. Berlin could for real be related!" Maritza points out.

"That is freaky..." Nicky murmurs.

"Oh my goodness!" Lorna squeals. "It's like that Oprah segment in nineteen-ninety-one where babies who were sold on the black market got reunited with their birth mothers! I live for people finding their long-lost family members, it's so beautiful!"

"I know!" Alana agrees and everyone else nods in concurrence.

"Though, it might just be a weird coincidence. Everyone's got a twin out there...we each got at least seven strangers who look like us in the whole world," Allison says.

"They didn't even exist in the same time period, though," Daya mumbles.

"Genes had to be passed down or something..." Blanca puts in.

"Well...maybe we can have Diane and Frieda take a DNA test," Michelle says.

"It would be really neat if Frieda was like, my mom's first cousin once removed or whatever...I'll have to talk to them about it!" Alex says cheerfully.


"Nichols!" Luschek calls, halting Nicky from leaving Woodshop with Flaca, Taystee, and Alana. "I need you to stay after class for a bit. It'll only be a minute." Ouija, Pidge, Cindy, and Janae walk out while muttering about her being the teacher's pet. Her friends and fellow bandmates give her questioning stares and she lifts her shoulders up and down. Zirconia just glares at her while exiting the room.

She plops down into her seat again and leans back. "'Sup, Luschek?" she asks.

He scratches his head and grins. "You're close to Gloria, right? The, uh, lunch lady."

"I would say so, yes. There's only one kitchen worker at this school named Gloria, so I know who you're talking about."

"Well, the thing is, she's pretty sexy. Is she single, because if she isn't, I won't bother, but an alcoholic loser can fantasize, right?"

Nicky presses her lips together to keep from both cackling hysterically and gagging. She does both internally instead. She doesn't blame him, though, because Gloria is quite attractive in general. She just can't imagine a refined lady like Gloria being into Luschek, of all guys. From the get-go, any woman could see that he isn't mature enough for a serious relationship. He doesn't even groom himself or smell all that nice. He's more the kind of person someone could get drunk and party with. "Hate to burst your bubble, but she's not your type, man. Don't waste your time asking her out...she doesn't speak to you!"

"I'll have you know that we joked around a lot last year and one time, we ran into each other at a dance club. She ground on me for half a song!" He points at her. "So, ha!"

She guffaws loudly. "Jesus, not even a full song? Gloria was probably hammered and counted that as a one-time fling...something she'd like to forget. Besides, that was most likely before-" She stops herself before she can reveal one bit of Gloria's dark past to her favorite teacher. "It happened a long time ago. Plus, I'm not sure she's digging anyone except Fahri right now."

He scoffs. "The janitor? Come on, she can do better than that! Are they even together? I have never seen signs that they do the hanky panky."

Nicky puts her hand up to interrupt him. "Hey, don't hate on the guy or his job...I get that it sucks to be rejected, especially through another person, but...logically, you two wouldn't make sense anyway. She's thirty, you're twenty-two, just got outta college, also known as frat boy land." She winces and screws up her nose. "The ages are kinda wonky."

"That's cool, I dig older ladies," Luschek insists with a smirk.

"She and Fahri are kinda getting hot for each other, and she's got kids. I don't think you're into that, since you just want fun with no strings attached, so..." Nicky drums her hands on her desktop. "I'd just, uh, stick to taking a cold shower."

Luschek sighs. "Damn, it was worth a try." He gestures towards the door. "Out you go, Nichols."

"See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya," Nicky replies jokingly. She meets up with Flaca, Alana, and Taystee in the hall outside the classroom.

"So what'd Luschek want with you?" Flaca wonders aloud.

"He asked me if Gloria was single since he wants to hook up with her."

"Ew, gross! Seriously?" Alana asks Nicky, and she, Taystee, and Flaca scrunch up their faces in displeasure.

"I shit you not."

"Picturing that makes me wanna vomit," Taystee mutters.

Nicky chuckles. "Yeah, well, I am the one who actually had to hear it from his mouth, and I just about laughed in his face. He thinks women are hotter when they get spooked easily, and Gloria with her PTSD...and the kids...I cannot see Gloria liking him unless she was on crack."

Flaca purses her lips. "He probably just into her big butt."

The girls roll their eyes. "Yeah..." Nicky, Taystee, and Alana say in unison.

The subject of Luschek being interested in Gloria is the talk of the table later at lunch. "Nooooo! He's so disgusting!" Lorna cries when Nicky has explained everything.

"He's asked my mom out before, but before he could suggest a place for them to go to, she shut him down," Alex reports, and everyone cracks up.

"Luschek was almost yo daaaaddy!" Poussey teases, and Alex throws a soft bread roll at her. Blanca claps a few times while throwing her head back and laughing.

"Grooooooss!" Daya and Maritza shout at the same time.

"You nasty, P," Taystee tells her best friend, but she hides a smile behind her fist.

"Can you imagine him interacting with Benny and Julio?" Alana wants to know. "Taking care of them and assisting Glo when he can't even help himself seem decent and not lazy?"

Michelle shakes her head no while quickly swallowing her water as the others snigger. She hits her shoulder playfully. "Stop it! Don't make me snort this out my nose."

"I hope he keeps his hands to himself," Allison mutters.

"I know, dude, I told him to back off, and he listened to me," Nicky lets her know.

"You sure about that?" Blanca asks while raising an eyebrow, the hint of a smile tugging on her lips. She nods towards where Luschek is headed into the cafeteria's backroom.

"He determined, I'll give him that," Ouija mutters.

Nicky covers her face with her hands. "Fuckin' idiot..."

"Oh, god!" Alex groans.

"No, really?" Flaca just about hollers.

"He won't take her aversion to being touched or flirted with seriously," Maritza worries aloud.

"If he triggers her, I swear to fuck!" Daya nearly growls.

"Yo, she got a lotta people there ready to kick his ass if he tries anything," Pidge states. "Calm down, girl."

"I actually smell some secondhand embarrassment coming..." Lorna says in a sing-song voice.

"In three, two, one," Allison murmurs.


"Hey," Joel says as he walks into the backroom with his hands in his pockets.

The lunch ladies and Fahri wave at him politely.

"Gloria...how's it hangin'?" he asks with a wink. "Long time no talk, right?"

"Yeah, it's just been real busy on my end." A wave of awkwardness washes over Gloria. She used to banter with him all the time when she first started working here, but after they'd let loose on a Saturday night with music blaring, she's wanted to keep a safe distance between them. Once she'd developed post-traumatic stress disorder, she hadn't felt comfortable listening to his weird humor and didn't have anything witty to reply back with. They'd drifted apart, and neither of them made an effort to communicate again, until now, apparently.

"I mean no disrespect, but here," Joel announces while holding out a piece of paper with his number on it towards Gloria. "If you ever wanna call me, plan a get-together to catch each other up on our lives? We can maybe, I dunno, reconnect?"

Aleida scowls at him and flicks a spatula upwards. "She don't want you, dweeb! Get outta here!" she snaps before Gloria can say anything. "You don't know what she been through!"

"Yeah...I'm not interested, sorry," Gloria declines. She keeps her gaze locked on Fahri and he simply looks relieved that she'd said no to her co-worker's invitation. They grin at each other subtly and then she looks back at Joel. "I don't think we're a compatible match."

"Okay, it's cool, no worries, have a nice day, we can uh, still be friends if you want..."

"Fine with me," she says as he walks out. Fahri chuckles and Aleida and Red burst out cackling after he's gone.


"You didn't take my advice seriously?" Nicky asks Luschek incredulously as he passes the girls' table.

"You joke around a lot, so I wanted to hear it from Gloria herself if she likes me, too."

"Okay, and how'd it go?"

He groans and takes a few steps back. "My attempts to woo her didn't work."

Nicky smirks. "I kinda tried to tell you so, didn't I?" The girls laugh behind their palms.

"It's a shame, she'll never get to ride in my DeLorean."

"Fahri's got a limo, so she's good there, don't worry," Blanca tells him.

"Yeah, and plus, she ain't materialistic," Daya adds.

"At least you got somebody who likes you," Flaca says. He turns around to face Zirconia, who has a wide, creepy grin on her face.

"Aw, no, that's illegal!" he sputters and walks past her.

"Hi, sugar!" Judy King calls out and catches up with him. He makes a face but leaves with her.


"I saw some cunt helping Diablo a little too much," Blanca grumbles as soon as she gets into the backroom. She ambles towards Gloria with her arms crossed over her chest. "Do you think he's looked at my before pictures so many times he realized he's going out with a girl who's one shower and week without waxing away from becoming an ape?" That random bitch's insult from yesterday should've meant nothing to Blanca, she knows that, but it had cut deep into her.

"You are gorgeous no matter what," Gloria reassures her. "If he don't see that, he's the ugly one! Not you, sweetie."

Blanca sighs. "Thanks...but I don't have natural beauty. I have to use artificial products to make myself look better."

"We all do!" Red states and Norma nods her head yes in agreement.

"Yeah, none of us are like perfect supermodels, especially when we first wake up in the morning or have come out of a shower," Aleida points out.

"A lot of my friends are," Blanca objects. "Trust me, I've seen 'em."

"Okay, well, what's going on with Diablo? Just because another gal was overly assisting him...did he really need it and you weren't there?" Claudette asks.

"She was in his class, and she wheeled him out into the cafeteria with her face practically close to his and she was bent over as she squawked into his ear about...something I don't know. He smiled...like he was interested in what she was saying and didn't really look at me."

"Who was it? Do they need bloody tampons in their food?" Red demands, her voice taking on a sharp edge.

Blanca shrugs helplessly. "I dunno. Lots of girls fawn over him...it's so close to my quinceñera and everything..."

"Just make him jealous," Gloria advises Blanca simply. "See how he likes it." Norma gives Gloria a thumbs up and the other ladies smirk at her suggestion.

"What if he doesn't give a shit?"

"Then he ain't the one for you!" Aleida responds.

The thought makes Blanca's heart ache. "I hope that's not the case."

Gloria pats her back sympathetically. "Me neither, cariño."

Just then, Fahri comes in with Ratman following him. Blanca is afraid of the asshole teacher and when she'd seen him the day he returned, she had wished so badly that her Diablo was there, just like she does now. Nicky had rubbed her back in comfort, but the blonde girl has no idea what he's like, so she'd spoken up against him. She didn't think he was that bad, besides making Blanca stand on the table like a goat. He'd never drawn blood or broken bones, and Nicky hadn't heard his slurs before she met him. He hates her and Maria and thinks they belong in juvy. He's only correct about Maria. At the sight of him, Blanca hides behind Gloria and Red.

"Clean this up, terrorist," Ratman mutters while dumping a whole bunch of rats out onto the floor, causing Gloria and Aleida to shriek in alarm. Gloria jumps up on the table and then clutches onto Fahri while Blanca angrily stomps on a few of the scuttling rodents, squirting out blood as she does so. Red, Claudette, and Norma beat them with brooms and then Fahri sweeps the dead ones into his dustpan. Gloria stays put on the table, her terrified eyes focused on Fahri. Ratman just stands back, chuckling evilly.

"I...I have a huge fear of rats," Gloria says shakily as Fahri helps her down. She trembles in his arms.

"Get the fuck outta here!" Fahri commands Ratman as he keeps his arms securely around her. "Now, you cruel son of a bitch."

"No, unless you'd like me to fuck her right in front of you guys," Ratman says casually while staring creepily at Blanca, who shudders and shifts her eyes away from him.


"How are things going with Charles?" Frieda asks on the plane ride home. "I haven't heard about him in a while."

Diane beams at Frieda mentioning her boyfriend. "Oh, just wonderful! I'm really happy in a relationship for the first time."

"Wow, that's great! So you two finally decided to become a couple?"

"Yeah. We were dancing at the Monte Carlo Room when he asked permission to kiss me, and I said yes!" Diane gushes. "I feel like it's a fairytale, but I don't ever want the story to end. He's the man I'd always dreamed of. He's so sweet...I know it's too early to say I love him, but imagining a future together and us growing old and him being a perfect dad for Alex is something I really want."

Frieda pats her hand lovingly and grins. "Aww, that sounds magical. You're right though, it's a bit soon..."

"I spilled my heart and soul out to him. I doubt there's any going back after that. He knows my entire dark childhood now."

"Really?" Frieda raises her eyebrow.

"Mm-hm," Diane murmurs while nodding her head yes. "I had a meltdown in front of him the night he'd come into Friendly's a second time after meeting me, and he was real nice about it. Lee had broken my heart and hit on Alex the day before, and Charles didn't take advantage of my vulnerability...he just sat there with me while I cried. He didn't try to push me into anything...he was just my friend. It's not like I was his one-night stand. I'm something to him, and he's definitely just as important in my life. He's extremely protective of me and he helps me out of panic attacks...and I can't stop swooning. On a lot of our dates, we just danced, he whirled me around and I laid against his chest as we moved as one, it was really romantic. He bought me flowers that night you took us home...pink roses, to be exact. He's hella kind and respectful to Alex, too."

Frieda pulls Diane in for a hug as best she can over the uncomfortable seat divider and kisses her temple. "I'm ecstatic for you, honey. Does she like him?"

"Yeah! She gave him her blessing for us to date when Charles carried me to bed one night after I'd fallen asleep on the couch. He's taught us both self-defense and made us each a key for his apartment and of course is letting us stay there...we'd be homeless otherwise, since our trailer park got flooded. He's also in the process of getting me a clerical job at his office."

"Awesome!" A concerned look washes over Frieda's face. "Hey, but if you were having financial problems, you could've called me. I wouldn't have turned you away. I pleaded self defense in all my crimes."

"I know, and Fahri offered his home as well, but we didn't want to intrude...plus, we thought our trailer park would be fine through what seemed like would only be a little rain. It survived for years, but...I was on the phone with Charles when it collapsed in front of our very eyes. Even then, we were gonna get a motel and figure out what to do from there, but Charles invited us to live with him for as long as we'd like." Diane smiles at the memory. "He wanted to keep us from the misery."

"Well, now, I feel like clapping him on the back and telling him he's doin' a job well done taking care of my girl and her baby!"

Diane giggles at Frieda's statement. "You should. He deserves that compliment because it's true! He's a good man."

"So you've told me. Has he said anything about his past?"

"No, but I've never really asked...should I?"

"Just if you want to, but not in a busybody way. Would you like me to run a background check on him?"

"Oh, god, no!" Diane exclaims. Her cheeks heat up with mortification at the very thought.

"I think I might. He seems a bit too perfect."

"What if he's just that, though? The best guy a girl could ask for? I know a number of dudes like him, so it's not as if he's the only one. Frieda...I don't care what he's done, as long as he's never cheated on me, been into creepy stuff like child porn, or hurt somebody who was innocent." Diane squeezes her eyes shut and reopens them. "I don't wanna hear nothin' about police brutality. The only people he's beaten up were monsters who caused me harm. If he hasn't told me anything like about his family, that doesn't matter. He will in due time. It's only been a month and a week since we started getting to know each other. It's not like we're gonna get married tomorrow or whatever."

Frieda exhales loudly. "Okay..."


"Hello there, Adarsh," Blanca says erotically as she leans against a doorframe near her friends' table in a seductive manner. While smiling flirtatiously, she licks her lips and bats her eyelashes at him. She flips her hair over her shoulder and slides up to him. Diablo watches her incredulously and he grits his teeth at them, but Blanca doesn't care. She wants to make him possessive again and envious so they can have rough sex later. "How are ya?"

"I'm...okay," he says awkwardly.

"You got somethin' in your eyes?" Flaca wonders out loud, but Blanca ignores her.

"Really? You want a massage?" Blanca giggles and lays her hands on his shoulders softly. The girls appear to be shocked and Daya glares at Blanca. "It could lead to romance..."

"No, that's fine. Uh, I'm not sure if you knew, but-"

Diablo takes off in the middle of Adarsh's sentence and Blanca smirks to herself.

"What were you saying?" Blanca asks sweetly, never taking her gaze off Diablo.

"I'm into Daya. I thought you're Diablo's girlfriend anyway..."

"Oh, I knew that! I am, but see, I wasn't sure if Diablo was still interested in me since tramps have been giving him attention and he didn't seem to mind. I don't think he knew I was around. I dunno what's goin' on with him." Blanca relaxes and sits between him and Nicky. "Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you're the only single guy here, so...and I apologize to you too, Daya."

"It's cool," they mumble in unison.

"Oh, girl, you should've talked to us first," Lorna tells her. "Following him when a cooze is with him is the best way to find out for sure if he was being disloyal."

"I spoke with Gloria and the other kitchen ladies and she said to cause him to be jealous. I suppose it worked, since he got pissed off!"

"If you're really that suspicious, maybe just get the truth from him, straight up?" Nicky suggests.

"Sure, I'll do that, too." Blanca gets up and rushes over to Diablo. Before she can get a word out when she reaches him though, he pulls her into his lap and captures her lips into a passionate kiss and bites her bottom lip in a way that makes tingles fly down into her lower region. As soon as they pull away from each other, Blanca grabs his hands. "La única razón por la que golpeé a Adarsh fue porque estabas dejando que las putas te ayudaran y ¡Dios sabe qué diablos más!"

The only reason I hit on Adarsh was because you were letting whores help you and God knows what the fuck else!

"Nada, lo prometo! Estoy realmente agradecido ya que mi único amor verdadero no está en algunas de mis clases para ayudarme," Diablo defends himself.

Nothing, I promise! I'm just really grateful since my one true love isn't in some of my classes to help me.

Blanca quirks an eyebrow up at him. "¿Seguro que no me estás engañando?"

You sure you're not cheating on me?

Diablo nods. "Positivo." He beams at her, but she can tell he's hiding something still.

Positive.

She puts her hands on her hips. "¿Por qué estás siendo tan reservado, entonces?"

Why you being so secretive, then?

"Es la quinceñera de alguien pronto y estaba planeando algo especial para mi mejor chica." Blanca smiles at his words. "Todos tus amigos lo saben. ¡No voy a decirte lo que te tengo!"

It's someone's quinceñera soon and I was planning something special for my best girl. All your friends know about it. I'm not gonna tell you what I got you!

"Bien, bien, ¡no!" She narrows her eyes at Diablo. "¿Qué hay de esa perra que vi que se inclinaba demasiado cerca de ti?"

Well, good, don't! What about that bitch I saw who was leaning way too close to you?

"Me estaba dejando saber qué pensaba comprarte para ti, ¡y creo que te va a encantar!" he explains. "Invitaste a toda la escuela, es probable que aparezcan muchos randoms..."

She was letting me know what she was thinking of buying for you, and I think you're gonna love it! You invited the whole school, there's bound to be a lot of randoms showing up...

Blanca flushes in embarrassment. "¡Oh sí, debería haber pensado en eso!"

Oh yeah...I should've thought about that!

Diablo chuckles. "Esta bien. Te voy a follar bien esta noche."

That's okay. I'm gonna fuck you hella good tonight.

"¡Demonios sí, mi amor!"

Hell yeah, my love!

They playfully growl together while making out fervently again, and all seems right with the world now.


"So, how'd you do it?"

Fahri turns around at Joel's question. The younger guy is standing at the entrance to the men's bathroom after work. "What?"

"Get the girl...uh, you know, Gloria? It seems impossible to be with her."

"For one thing, I didn't let her know about my mini-me when we danced together at the Monte Carlo Room." Fahri had gotten turned on by Gloria swaying against him that night, but he made sure to move slightly away from her so she wouldn't feel the tent in his pants and be uncomfortable. Giving her personal space is very important to him. He's, of course, noticed that her butt is sexy, but he won't say anything out loud or touch it. He's already trying very hard not to look too long. "Us guys are attracted to butts or hot ladies in general, that's how we are, but the way we handle ourselves around the women we're vibing is what's significant. Last time you danced with her for fun, and as friends, you got an erection against her right thigh and she was very uncomfortable."

Joel groans. "Man, she told you? I asked her to keep that private! I wasn't even sure if I should've said sorry or ignored it altogether...I just apologized, like way after."

"You should've apologized and backed off in the first place when you felt it coming!" Stupid loser, Fahri adds in his head. "She shares all kinds of secrets with me. You're lucky she didn't tell her aunt," he says nonchalantly. "Uh, I just made her feel comfortable around me, something you should try for the next girl."

"Well she does have an ass, I couldn't help myself..."

Fahri rolls his eyes and tries to keep the anger out of his tone. He can't blame other men for liking Gloria in the past and even now because she's such a fantastic woman, but none of them, except Leon and Charles, have really focused on any part of her except her bottom. He's so sick of it. "Of course you can, it's called self-control. I'm displaying it currently by not punching you in the face for that comment."

"I don't have a lot of that," Joel admits.

"I guess that's why you never had a chance with her," Fahri mutters and finishes scrubbing the last urinal. "I gotta wash up and go home now. You should too."

"Right, that's my cue to leave." Joel exits the room and Fahri lets out a slow breath through his gritted teeth.


"How's Frieda doin'?" Aleida wants to know as Diane takes a spot at her kitchen table. She spreads her fingers out on a piece of newspaper as Aleida prepares to paint her nails bright red. "Daya let me know Alex told her that you was with Frieda when her dad passed away last night. Sorry to hear, by the way."

Diane smiles at Aleida. "Thanks, I'll tell her you said so. She's alright. She says it was his time, but it's still somber and all. I slept over there with her and her aunt Jolene, and the two of us returned here around noon. We took a walk in the wilderness and I wanted to come here and get my nails done before seeing Charles again. She wants to officially meet him as my boyfriend, but I'm not sure when that would be."

"Mm." Aleida nods in understanding and strokes the crimson-coated brush over a few of Diane's nails after filing them. "Maybe on your birthday, that's comin' up."

"The thirteenth." Diane beams. "I can't wait. Like, that's the first time I'll have a special someone on a day that celebrates me. Of course, Alex means everything to me, but you know...it's nice to have a man to dote on you."

Aleida purses her lips. "Totally!"

"You wanna know somethin' weird?"

"Yeah."

"I got no clue of when I actually came into this world. Ain't like my parents bothered to tell me. So...I just picked the date when I met Frieda."

"Oh, nice! It's like you were born again."

Diane nods as Aleida finishes her right hand and begins on her left. "Exactly."

"You tell anyone else besides me, Alex, and Frieda before?"

"Just Charlie and Glo."

"I been thinkin'...what'd you have to do for Charles to live in his apartment?"

Diane quirks up an eyebrow. "Hm? Nothing, he took us in as soon as he knew we desperately needed help."

"He didn't make you like his servant girl or fuck you in the ass or whateva, expecting you to do sexual favors for him in exchange for staying at his place?"

"No, not at all! We were friends at the time, and he's been so patient with me...always letting me make the first moves, and when we first kissed, he asked if it was okay. He'd never treated me badly."

Aleida sighs and blows on Diane's completed shiny polished nails. She's truly happy for the other woman. "My ex before Cesar was such a dumbass...I dunno if you know him, but Charles might, he's on the police force. Rick Hopper, the biggest loser there ever was...in my life, at least. I'm aware you and Glo have bigger demons than mine."

"Your trauma is valid, too," Diane states.

Aleida bows her head as a shiver flows through her. It makes her so angry that she was raped since she feels like her dignity had been taken away from her, and she prefers to pretend it never happened. The little being in her belly is the only good thing that came out of it. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that. I always try to block it out. Rick wasn't nearly as bad as that creeper, but still...he was terrible." She tells Diane the same story she'd told Leon.

"He sounds like a jerk," Diane mutters. "I'm glad you got Leon now...and your girls, both me and Glo and clearly, your children. I'm relieved none of us ladies are homeless no more."

"Me, too," Aleida agrees.


"I'm ba-ack!" Diane calls out as soon as she gets home. Her daughter and boyfriend come out from two different rooms, and she and Alex both squeal while hugging tightly. Charles picks Diane up and spins her around. Their fingers press into each other's cheeks and her palms cup his neck as they share a few soft kisses. His arms are still wound around her middle as he puts her back down to her feet, but their lips continue to touch about five more times. They let out breathless laughs when they finally come up for air.

Charles presses his slightly open mouth to her temple, resting it there for a moment, and then smiles down at her. "You look beautiful."

Diane beams. "Thank you. I'm happy to see your handsome face again." She turns to Alex. "I missed you too, baby. We've never been separated for very long since you started high school."

"Well, luckily, it was only a day. I feel worse for Frieda, who won't see her dad for the rest of her life," Alex says sadly.

"Same here," Charles murmurs.

"Yeah, me, too," Diane agrees. "She's upset, but I think she's also relieved that he isn't suffering anymore and he's with his wife now. She died before Frieda was even born...from an aneurysm."

"Whoa...that's how your brother...?" Alex trails off. She appears to be shocked, as does Charles.

Diane nods her head yes. "Frieda said the funeral would be in a week or two, so I'd go with her. You guys can join us if you want, but you don't have to."

"Of course...I'd love to!" Alex exclaims with more enthusiasm than Diane had expected. "She is my grandma figure, after all."

"I think I should, too," Charles says. "I wanna be there for you and Frieda."

Diane beams at them and puts an arm around each of their shoulders. "Thanks, guys! So...what'd my two special peeps do last night?"

"I just went to Dairy Queen and slept over at Nicky's. Red called us the trouble twins." Alex rolls her eyes while Diane and Charles both chuckle. "No idea why. All we did was raid the refrigerator and sing to the music that Nicky played in her room! Lorna was at Flaca's and Tricia was getting makeup lessons from Franny and Lida, Red's son's girlfriend, so we had the apartment to ourselves pretty much. Red mostly spent time with Melanie."

"That sounds fun!" Diane comments.

"I spent the evening knitting," Charles lets Diane know. "It was a surprise for you and Alex. I'll get yours from my room."

"I have mine on from him right now!" Alex takes her hands out of her pockets and wiggles her fingers that are in purple and black striped fingerless gloves.

"I assumed those were new! They're cute, he did a fantastic job!"

Alex smiles as Charles returns with a dark red scarf and a matching beanie. "Thank you, sweetie. I always thought you looked bangin' in this color!" Diane giggles while her boyfriend drapes the scarf loosely around her neck and sets the beanie onto her head and she adjusts it. "They go great with your lovely nails, too." He lifts both her hands and kisses them with so much tenderness that she swoons. "Now you both can keep warm and stylish all winter long." Diane and Alex beam at his words.

"You were awfully kind to do that for us!" Diane tells him.

"Hey, it was no big deal," Charles inisists.

"Well, I love mine. Thank you so much!" Diane gushes.

"So do I," Alex chimes in. "Thanks, dude."

"You're very welcome, ladies."

"I'll give you two time to yourselves to catch up!" Alex murmurs and throws Diane a wink before retreating into her bedroom.

Charles leads Diane to the sofa. "I feel like I owe you an apology, my love."

"For what?" Diane nestles herself into his arms and he holds her snugly against her chest. She braces herself for something awful. "As far as I know, you're not a shitty man."

"A while after our first kiss, I took a picture of you, but now that I know about your past with photoshoots, I'm afraid I could've traumatized you without realizing it."

She sighs with relief. "It's okay, it's different if it's someone I trust...and you took our relationship slow. I appreciate you tremendously for that. You don't gotta be sorry."

"Alright, that's good."

"Mm-hm..."

They beam at each other and lock lips.


"How did you entertain yourself with that ruckus at Dave and Busters?" Lida asks Red as she makes two Russian dishes, zharkoye and khachapuri. Nicky, Lorna, Franny, and Tricia are helping Red set the table.

"I read there and glanced up occasionally," Red answers.

"Of course when I came over and excitedly announced that I had a high score, she'd congratulate me," Tricia adds with a grin.

"You have a good mamochka," Lida comments.

Tricia hugs Red around her waist and smiles as Red tousles her blonde hair. "Yeah, I do."

"I'm so happy to finally get personal time with you since just saying hi at work is barely nothin'," Lorna tells Franny. "I did miss you, and I'm so relieved that you're here."

Franny puts her arm around Lorna. "I understand that. You've been through some traumatic stuff lately."

"Yeah..."

They all glance at Lorna sympathetically. "Hey, Lida, can you make tula gingerbread for dessert?" Nicky wants to know. "Ma says you're good at it."

"I am," Lida confirms proudly. "Sure, I don't mind."

"Maybe another night, though. I don't want your feet getting too sore from standing for so long," Red says.

"Galina, I'm fine!" Lida protests.

Red exhales loudly. "Okay, but we will all be of assistance to you."

"Thanks."

Right out of the blue, Tricia groans loudly while clutching her belly and everyone glances at her in alarm as she keels over. "Oh, god! This fucking hurts!" She runs to the bathroom and locks the door behind her. "My uterus is screaming at me..." She gasps in anguish as she yanks down her pants and sits on the toilet. She'd heard of period cramps before, but she had no idea they were this bad. She's shaking and sweating, and she whimpers as the agony rips through her abdomen over and over. "Is this what Hell feels like?!" she yells and then lets out a few sobs. "Ho-holy fuck..."

"Sweetheart, I have some Advil for you," Red says soothingly from outside. "It'll make the tremendous aches go away in just a half hour and it lasts for about five hours. Then you take it again until they disappear."

"You can sleep it off after downing a couple pills with water, that's what I've done before a number of times," Nicky adds. "I also got high, but that's beside the point. You're not gonna do drugs...uh, can you let us in, though?"

"Only you two," Tricia murmurs and then crawls to the door so she can open it for her mother and sister. They enter at once and kneel down to her level, where she's writhing around on the floor and pulling her pants back up. The cool tile feels nice and she wants to take a nap here forever.

"Sit up," Red instructs her while helping her do so. "Here." She drops two pills into Tricia's hand and Nicky gives her a cup of water. Tricia stuffs them in her mouth and gulps them down along with the water.

"Those are disgusting, they remind me of puke," Tricia complains while scrunching up her face.

"I know, sis, but they'll make you feel better for a while, at least." Nicky strokes her hair and cups her chin. "It sucks starting the crimson river down there. I'm sorry you also gotta deal with it."

"I remember the feeling, like you got kicked in the guts, right?" Red asks. "Mine stopped just recently, and I couldn't be more relieved."

Tricia nods silently and covers her face. "I hate Aunt Flo's visits. They don't end for another forty years?"

"Pretty much," Nicky answers solemnly. "It's basically your body saying, hey, congratulations, you're not pregnant!"

"Why can't Mother Nature send us all texts messages with that or something?!" Tricia growls. "Ow..."

"I wish she could, malyshka," Red says softly as she gathers Tricia into her arms and just holds her. "My youngest baby...you're growing up so fast..."

"That reminds me...can you tighten my bra strap?" Tricia asks. "It keeps falling off my shoulder..."

"You were so proud to get your first bra just a few days ago," Nicky says while Red does as Tricia had requested of her. "Now I'm gonna share pads with you..."

"Thanks."

"This the worst part of becoming a woman," Red lets Tricia know. "It happens once a month for three to seven days, but there are ways to tell when it'll come so you can take pills as soon as you feel the slightest twinge, like a dull ache."

"Like you gotta take a shit but you're not passing gas," Nicky clarifies further.

"Ew," Tricia mumbles. "Honestly, I was just wanting the boobs..."

They chuckle above her. "There isn't a girl or lady alive that feels the way you do," Red murmurs.


At Friendly's, a bunch of the girls are sitting around and waiting for their food. They're in high spirits since someone has volunteered to be the band's manager. When a woman in her mid-fifties with light brown hair down to her chest and bangs walks through the doors, Nicky recognizes her instantly. "Barb!" she squeals as she jumps up from her chair, races over to the lady, and gives her a fierce hug. "It's been forever!" Out of the corner of her eye, Nicky sees that the girl who had randomly hit on Daya outside school one time is behind Barb with a few other girls.

Barb grins, showing off a set of yellowed teeth. "I know, my Nicky baby. I've missed you!"

"So have I!" Nicky gestures for Barb to sit, so the older woman does. Everyone is staring at them in confusion, and Diane appears to be slightly alarmed. "Uh, we met while I was homeless. I got her off drugs," Nicky explains proudly.

"I was on much harder stuff than Nicky," Barb adds and then looks at Diane for a split second. Her eyes widen as Diane turns away. "I turned myself around, though, thanks to her." She grins in Nicky's direction. "I got myself a boyfriend. What about you?"

"Congrats!" Nicky hi-fives Barb and takes Lorna's hand in hers. "This is my girlfriend, Lorna."

Barb shakes Lorna's hand. "Hello, nice to meet you."

"You, too!" Lorna says eagerly.

Barb points at Allison. "Hey, I remember you. The bus, right?"

Allison nods her head yes and grins shyly. "I have no clue what would've happened if it weren't for you, but nothing good."

After Nicky introduces her to Alex, Michelle, Blanca, Flaca, Maritza, Daya, Alana, Taystee, Poussey, Cindy, and Pennsatucky, Barb has them meet the girls who had come in with her. She gestures to the Latina who resembles Daya a bit. "Daddy."

"How you doin?" Daddy asks flirtatiously while winking in Daya's direction.

"Annalisa."

A short-haired blonde girl with pale skin and lifeless seeming eyes glares at Nicky while waving at the rest of the group. She puts her arm through Daddy's. "Don't even think about it."

"I'm not blind, babe," Daddy murmurs as Daya looks down, appearing uncomfortable.

"Tina."

The curly-haired blonde grits her teeth as her eyes practically bug out of their sockets, and Nicky can only assume she, along with Annalisa, is strung out. "Hi," she slurs.

"Adeola."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance!" the Jamaican girl greets them.

"I'm gonna be your band manager!" Barb announces cheerfully.

"Yaaaay!" Flaca and Maritza shout together while clapping happily.

"I've already thought up a song and shit! You girls can't just rip off other artists-"

"Oh, this is just for fun!" Taystee protests.

"I want to make you girls stars!" Barb insists. "It'll be even more enjoyable if you're creative. Is it okay if mine join you?"

The band members nod their heads yes in unison.

Diane clears her throat. "Hey, can I help lead the band?"

"Of course you can! I'd be blessed, darling," Barb says sweetly. "Could you fetch me a job application? I just have to work here, the place looks fab!"

"Sure," Diane responds quickly and disappears into the backroom.

"Before we start...why aren't the rest of you gorgeous girls part of the band?" Barb wants to know.

"We can't sing," Daya mumbles.

"I bet you'll sing me praises in bed," Daddy says in a joking manner, and Annalisa elbows her in the ribs.

Daya rolls her eyes. "Would you just cut it out?!"

"It's true, we suck," Alex tells Barb.

Lorna nods her head yes in agreement. "I've tried twice, but my voice cracks and I'm really off-key."

"The most I can do is hum," Michelle adds.

"Same," Blanca says.

"I've got a kid, I can't be on tour all the time," Allison points out.

Barb sighs. "Alana...that's your name, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry to say, but you don't have the face for this."

Alana physically sinks in her seat. "Yeah, well, uh...neither does Annalisa, who looks like the product of a ghost and a zombie fucking!" Blanca snaps, and Annalisa gives her the finger.

"Oh, good burn," Nicky whispers, and Blanca smirks. Alex stifles a giggle behind her fist.

"We'll give her and the rest of my girls makeovers," Barb says calmly. "As for Alana, the sad puppy dog eyes cannot ever be fixed. She's also extremely clumsy and could trip easily over whatever's in her path." She turns to Alana. "Honey, you can still sing, but behind a microphone, so nobody can see you, but they hear your presumably pretty voice."

"No! I refuse to be used like that!" Alana practically hollers. "Stupid bitch!" She stomps out of the restaurant and most of the girls gaze after her sadly. Only Blanca follows her out the door.

"How could you be so cruel?" Alex hisses.

"Appearance is very important to me, that's all. She didn't have it. It's a shame we lost her...I was gonna have Lorna lipsynch while she sings-"

"I would've loved to do that!" Lorna beams and bounces in her seat. She puts her hand to her heart. "I'd be so honored, Barb! Thank you so much!"

Nicky shoots her a weird look. She has no idea how Lorna is so attached to Barb already. "Uh, she literally just insulted one of our friends..."

"Don't damper my excitement!" Lorna says a bit louder than necessary.

"Alana has great hair, by the way!" Maritza adds.

"Yo, we're not vibing this. Alana's part of the band," Flaca states.

"Of course she is, and her hair is wonderful, but she chose to walk away!" Barb tells them.

Diane comes back to the counter with a few papers. "Hey, what seems to be the problem?"

"Alana took offense to my saying she can sing backstage while Lorna mouths the lyrics," Barb responds. "I tried not to say it rudely..."

"Well, any way you spin it, Barb, the girl's gonna be heartbroken," Diane says. "Why not just not let it bother you? The rest of the girls like her just fine, and to me, she's amazingly talented."

"She'll also fall flat on her face at any given moment and bust her nose again. I've seen her videos when she makes fun of herself. She also looks like she's about to burst into tears, and we can't have that."

"I'll sing behind the scenes!" Suzanne pipes up. Nicky is shocked that nobody even noticed her before now. "Please let me do it! My name is Suzanne, by the way."

"Finally!" Barb exclaims. "Go ahead."

"Hooray!" Suzanne cheers.

"We should find someone else," Poussey decides out loud.

"Yo ass is out too, Barb," Cindy adds.

"You need me!" Barb says sternly.

Cindy huffs. "What's the catch?"

"Barb is right," Diane tells them as they're getting up to leave, surprising them all. "Hasn't she been the first to volunteer after over twenty-four hours?"

"Well, yes, but we just wanted a drummer," Pennsatucky mumbles. "It hasn't been that long. We ain't too impatient."

Daddy raises her hand. "I'm an excellent drummer, trust me!"

Nicky grins at her. "You're hired."

"How about this. You can get rid of me if someone else comes along. I've got plenty of free time on my hands, and it doesn't seem like folks really want to be in charge of a high school band. Everyone's so busy these days." Barb presses her hands together. "Come on, girls, please? I gotta be the leader of something...and I really wanna help!"

Diane nods encouragingly. Say yes, she mouths.

"Mom-" Alex starts, but Diane puts her index finger to her lips. Alex just stares at her mother with an appalled expression on her face.

"Nicky baby, I need this, okay?" Barb begs. "It's either this or drugs and God knows me and the girls need a hobby!"

"Yes!" Lorna shrieks joyfully. "Oh, a thousand times, yes!"

Nicky sighs heavily. "Whatever. It's fine."

"Okay, but you gotta apologize to Alana," Taystee says.

"I will," Barb assures her.

Flaca and Maritza shrug. "Alright..."

"Uh-huh," Pennsatucky mumbles.

"I'm in," Poussey says reluctantly.

"Me too," Cindy adds.

"Whoo-hoo!" Barb cheers. "We have a band! Now, for the first part of my song! Daddy, get on the drums!" The girl obeys her.

"Let's hear it," Diane says pleasantly.

"You should've gone to heaven...now we're stuck in hell...wishing we could get ya...baby, if you couldn't tell… I love you, but I hate you...you never slip my mind...it's so fucked up and I want your whole god damn life to unwind!" Barb belts out, almost screaming the lyrics. She sounds fantastic. The girls clap and cheer for her, but Diane seems hesitant and nervous all of a sudden when Barb isn't facing her.

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Johanna002 and MinervaSnape394!