And then one day, there you were, shining brightly.
Showing me that I wasn't meant to stay in the dark.
JmStorm
Hermione groaned when she opened her eyes the following morning. Even in her very fuzzy state of mind she was able to register two things. One she was naked; two she was not alone. Memories of the previous night's events started to filter back into her brain. Because she was the over thinker she wondered if maybe she had rushed things, but before her brain could kick into full gear, Finn wrapped his arm around her tighter and pulled her close "we still have 30 minutes before we even need to think about getting up. I think I can hear your brain already over thinking things." He said mumbling into his pillow. She tired her best to settle back into the covers and into his arms, but her brain would not shut off. He could since his match and did the only thing he thought but make it stop. He kissed her more gently than he had the night before but with just has much passion. The kiss had done the trick because her brain immediately ceased working, they spent the next 30 minutes doing much the same as they had the night before only this time it wasn't rushed it was slow and spoke volumes even if no words were actually spoken.
Finally pulling themselves from the bed, Finn left to his own room to shower and change. He had to be back in New York by midmorning for a meeting with the head mistress of Ilvermorny, and he knew if he got her in the shower there would be no making it back on time. "Don't over think it." He had told her before kissing her again. "It changes nothing, I like you Hermione, and I want to see where this thing goes." He kissed her one last time, leaving her wanting more before leaving for his own room.
When he was gone, she remembered she had made coffee plans with Draco. She shot him a quick text telling him she would be back at ten, and did he want to meet her at ten thirty at the little shop not far from her apartment.
She slipped into the shower not waiting for his reply and enjoyed the hot water wash away yesterday's frustration, though Finn had done a very good job of doing just that already. She had not been with many men, though she had dated, often things got too far, of course she had Helena's memories of Henry, but she could tell that Finn was an experienced lover. She found herself wondering if he had thought she was inadequate, but she pushed the thought to the side. Dwelling on that fear would do her no good this morning.
Then there was her lie to Finn about Draco from the night before. Why had she lied, there was no real reason for it. So, they were becoming friends, so what? Was that really a big deal? They had known each other for years, even if you didn't account for Helena and Henry. Finn was friends with Draco, beside he and Emily were friends and they had dated. Could she even call Draco an ex-lover? Henry and Helena were, but Draco and Hermione weren't them. They had both had proven they were separate people from them, if they weren't, she didn't think they could have snapped the cord.
The bigger problem was Hermione was having a hard time separating her feeling from that of Helena's. Even with Helena put away, Hermione was acutely aware of how she felt, maybe a friendship with him wasn't a good idea, but it would only cause more problems, mudding the already muddied water that was their torrid past.
Pulling herself from these thoughts, and shelving whatever doubts she may have, she finished her shower before jumping out and getting dressed quickly. Though she had no plans of going into the office today, she still dressed in a cream pencil skirt, and navy blue blouse that had three quarter length sleeves and black pumps that Ginny said made her legs and ass look divine, she applied her normal light make-up and dried her hair so it fell into soft curls. She busied gathering her clothes that had been strewn all over the place last night in the heat of the moment, tossing everything into her small overnight bag.
It wasn't too much longer before there was a soft knock on the door, with a flick of her wand the door opened on its own, while she zipped up her bag. Finn walked in with his own bag in hand. "We ready to go?"
"Yes." Hermione breathed still unable to not blush when she looked at him. He gave her his secret smile before pulling out the same small mirror that they had used the day before as a port key.
Once again, she touched a finger to the mirror and felt the pull behind her navel. A few second later they were both standing in the same spot of her apartment they had been before they left. Tucking the mirror back into his pocket, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, she could truly forget the world when he kissed her like that. Reluctantly he pulled away, "If I don't hurry, I will be late for my meeting. Tonight?" He asked hopeful.
"Tonight." She replied.
The next Second he was gone with a loud pop. Looking over to the clock she saw that it was just now ten. Taking her bag to her room she dropped it on the bed, deciding she could put it away later when she got back from coffee and the grocery store. Moving around the small apartment she used her wand to tidy up the place. When the clock struck a quarter past the hour, she grabbed her coat from the rack and headed out the door. It was nearly mid-October, along with the color of the leaves changing, colder weather seemed to be setting in. Hermione didn't mind though; winter had always been her favorite time of the year.
…
When he had gotten her text that morning, he knew he was happier than he should be, but their exchange the night before had been short and had left him wanting more. Though they had talked nearly every day in the last week and had had lunch once he found himself wanting to be around her more than he should. He tried to tell himself that it was only because he was excited to have someone from England so close by. He did miss home from time to time, and her being here was like having a little piece of home. Then he realized this was of thinking was indeed a slippery slope and shut it down. He wanted to be around her, and he didn't know how to explain it, it wasn't Henry, no it Draco and this very notion scared him a bit, and did nothing for his guilt. Unable to stop himself he had left the office thirty minutes before he was due to meet her at the little shop, telling his assistant that he had an off the books meeting, and walking away before she could ask any more questions.
Ordering two coffee's he found a table towards the back of the little place, in case someone who might know him passed by, he didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea, and the last thing he wanted was for it to get back to Emily. She had enough to deal with, she didn't need to think that there was something going on between him and Hermione, because there wasn't.
"You are early." She said as she took the seat across from him.
"I know...I don't seem to desperate, do I?" He asked jokingly.
"Not at all." She smiled taking the coffee he offered her.
"You seem different." He said giving her an apprising once over.
"Do I?"
"Yes." He shook his head "So the trip was successful?"
"Yes, but it doesn't mean we didn't have to work for it. The old fool, really, I don't understand why he thinks he is so above everyone else. You should have heard the excuse he tried to use. And then he had the audacity to call our ministry inept."
He knew something must have crossed his face that looked like the regret he was feeling at her mention of the war because Hermione quickly realized her mistake. They both were aware that the Draco sitting in front her right now wasn't the same Draco who lived through the war, Henry or no Henry.
"They were Hermione, maybe not now, but then they were. It was their denial that made them blind, and in doing so, they gave him power."
"I'm sorry Draco, I didn't mean..." she stopped herself, he knew she was finding it hard to find the right thing to say, he made all the wrong choices after Hermione had made it clear that she wouldn't run away with him.
"You forgot who you were talking to. If I was who I am today then, I would have made different choices, but I wasn't. I have to live with that."
"Let's talk about something else." She said trying to change the mood. "War should never be discussed before lunch."
He laughed, which he suspected was what she had been hoping for. "Tell me about Finn." He said catching her by surprise.
"I think you know him better than I do." She said nervously. Could they really talk to about this?
"Probably do, but I don't know how you feel about him. I have it on good authority that you have spent quite a bit of time with him this week."
"He is unlike anyone I have ever met." She said a little breathless.
"Yeah he is one of a kind." There was that feeling again he had been feeling all week, the thing he couldn't put his finger on.
"I just I don't know..."
"You are scared." He didn't need Henry to know that look on her face, with the new feeling of freedom you find it hard not to be, how can you trust what you are feeling, now that he thought about it, could you trust it?
"How can you possibly know that?" she was suspicious of him, he wasn't surprised, and in all honesty, she had every right to be.
"We aren't so different from them you know, that right?" he asked, he thought she might need to hear this to be reminded of that small fact.
"I like to think we are."
"Then you are fooling yourself." His words sounded harsh, but she knew he didn't mean them to be. "They are a part of who we are, we are who we are because of them. I know you are scared, because Helena was just as scared when she fell in love with Henry. I was too when I met Emily probably for the same reasons that you are now."
"I think it's a little soon to be talking about love. I like him, but love." The smile that was at the corner of her lips told him that though she wasn't there, yet she could be, and that knowledge didn't sit well with him. He tried to remind himself of Emily, but the feeling wouldn't budge.
"How long have you feared not being able to love someone else?" when he looked closely here eyes gave it away.
"I'm still not sure that I can. I might not be able to tap into Helena's feeling anymore, but I felt what she felt. I loved him, I loved you." It was the first time she admitted this fact, and that she was doing so to him made him stop breathing for a just a moment. This was a big deal and he knew it.
"You have made your choice though."
"You know why I made it."
"You do know that just because you believe it will break the curse doesn't mean that it will." She needed to understand that just because she believed something didn't make it true. She needed to be prepared for the chance that she might be wrong about something.
"It has too." She said trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince him.
"You know I did love her, Cassandra. I was fine with the match my parents had made for me, until.." it was a change in subject to be sure but he needed her to know this for some reason.
"Helena."
"She was this cool summer breezes, that took hold of me. She was enchanting, and beautiful, and I had to have her."
"And she you." Her tone held a note of sadness, something he was all too familiar with.
"So here we are..." he looked away from her, not able to look at the sadness that marred her pretty face, he had seen it there too often and often at his own hand when they were younger, before he knew who he was, and before she knew.
"It was the summer before sixth year." This made him look up, her being here in New York was the first time that he had been able to be close to the one person who knew him best, or at the very least knew what he felt the best. This was a secret, something she had never shared with anyone else, and she was sharing it with him.
"When you knew?"
She nodded her head, "I woke up one morning, and everything was different. I had all these memory's that didn't belong to me, yet they did. I don't really remember the other lives we have lived, just our names, but I remember Helena so clearly. I could remember the first time I saw Henry, in that open field of lavender, where it grew wild. I could remember staring at you as if some unanswered prayer to Merlin had finally be answered. Could remember the first time you touched me. How my skin felt like it was on fire, how every part of me craved you. I could remember the feeling of falling in love with you. I could remember our life together, how it felt to die. Suddenly I knew it was you, you were Henry." As she spoke all the memory's she spoke of filled his mind. He could see them Helena and Henry, though he may be gone for now at least the memories were there, he could feel the way Henry felt about them, and once again it became hard to separate himself.
"Why didn't you choose us?" the question had been burning the tip of his tongue for so long.
"I just couldn't, we had become so entangled in something so much bigger than ourselves. Harry needed Hermione more than Henry needed Helena. Somewhere along the way I convinced myself, the only way it would stop is if I didn't choose you."
Their coffee had gone cold, he made a face when the cold bitterness touched his tongue. He waved a hand over his cup, when it was gone steam could be seen rising from it once again. "Only time will tell."
"Do have to get back to work?" She asked looking down at her watch, they had been sitting there for over an hour.
"I probably should, my assistant doesn't like it when I am out of the office for too long. It usually means some sort of crisis would unfold." Hermione laughed
"So, you can still do lunch on Sunday?" she asked with a note of hopefulness that did something to him that he still couldn't put a finger on.
"Yes, Emily will be elbow deep in wedding plans with her mother. I thankful just have to show up on the big day, my opinions and idea on everything else are not wanted or needed."
"Ok, one o'clock then? The hot dog cart in Central Park?" she smiled at this little detail that was theirs and theirs alone.
"Yes."
He stood, moved around the table and bent to kiss her check. It was a jester that suggested familiarity and even had certain level of intimacy. He didn't linger, but when he pulled away, his lips felt like they were on fire. In the future when he would look back to this moment, he would realize this moment was the beginning of the end of life as he knew it, he was just to blind to see it.
