"Burdens are for shoulders strong enough to carry them."
-Margaret Mitchell Gone with the Wind
It had been nearly a month since Harry and Ginny had left New York for home. It was now November, and the weather forecasters were predicting snow any day. Hermione couldn't wait to see the city blanketed in the fresh powder; she loved this time of year.
The conference was only three weeks way, Finn and Hermione had been pouring over the Auror Army proposal all month trying to work out the finer details. They had been able to get every head of state to agree to negotiations, which had been no small feat. Now they just had to get everyone to sign onto the deal in December once it was presented to the Confederation. Minister Moore would surely be a challenge when he found out that the Canadian's were responsible for providing no less the five Auror's. Finn and Hermione both agreed that it was a reasonable number when one considered that the United States and Britain would both provided ten. They hadn't just been figuring out how many Auror's each country would provide though, in fact that had been the easiest part of the whole deal. They had based their numbers off the wizarding population size for each country. No, the hardest point of contention was who would lead the army and where they would be trained.
Yes, each member of said army would have already gone through extensive training prior to joining their respective departments. However simulated situations could never truly give you a clear picture of what true battle looked like. Most of these men and woman will have never seen war. Finn and Hermione had fought long and hard about where this army of Auror's were to be trained and stationed if the time were to ever come. Finn had argued that it should be here in America, while Hermione had argued it should be Britain. Britain still bore its scars from the war; it would be a sobering reminder to the army just how destructive one man can be. Hermione had won in the end; training would start the day after Christmas at Hogwarts while the students were away for the Winter holiday.
When it came to who would lead the charge, it had been a little more complicated. This was an initiative that was being spearhead by both the American's and the British. To Hermione the choice was clear, Harry Potter. He had been the one who had defeated the darkest wizard of all time. The American's didn't think so, though they did concede he was the one who ultimately did bring him down. Harry had help. Hermione couldn't deny this fact, she herself had been there to help him along his journey. In the end it was decided that Marcus Palmer the head of the American Auror and Harry would lead the troops together. Both men agreed and so the foundation for this task force was set. Now it was just up to Chamberlin and Kingsley to get everyone else on board.
The work over the last month had been the easy part for Hermione, her personal life had been more troublesome. She found herself pulling away from Finn more and more with each passing week. If the legend were true, how could she possible find happiness. What if Draco was wrong and Emily wasn't the person who could break the curse. What if the person who could, didn't even know they had the power to do so. What if in another hundred years they woke up in a new life? There were so many what if's that Hermione started to find herself losing hope that she would ever be at peace one day. Finn to his credit just tried harder, so completely unaware.
She had kept her distance from Draco, still mad that he had kept this vital piece of information from her. Or that was what she was telling herself anyways. If she listened to her conscious, she would know that her reason for keeping her distance was much deeper than just anger for being kept in the dark. She had been dodging his calls and texts all month. She even avoided the coffee shop that was just a block from apartment, knowing he would look for her there.
It was Sunday afternoon which meant Finn was in D.C. with his family, Hermione had decided to stay home for the day and was glued to the couch watching American television. Today she was watching an American classic, Gone with the Wind. The old movie stirred something deep within her, she didn't want to be like Scarlett. She didn't want to spend her life pining after a man that will never be hers. Apart of her brain knew that was what she had been doing all month was pining after a man who was never meant to be hers. Maybe Finn wasn't the one, but how would she ever know if she didn't try. As the credit's started to roll, there was knock on the door. The clock on the wall said it was just after four, it couldn't be Finn he would be with his family till at least six. Turning the tv off Hermione stood and made her way to the door. Looking through the peep whole she was confronted with the last person she wanted to see right now. Not when she was coming to terms with the way she felt, not when she had literally just told herself she would put forth a true effort where Finn was concerned. He knocked again. Taking a deep breath, she opened to the door, and stared into those stormy grey eyes.
"You are a hard woman to find." He said as leaned against the door frame with ease.
"Not really, I am only ever in two places. You just can't come looking for me there." This was true, she was either at the Woolworth building or she was here. He couldn't come to see her at work, to many people would talk. He couldn't come here because nine times out of ten Finn would be here too. Today was Sunday though.
"I have wanted to talk to you about something." He said ignoring her jab.
"I see." She had learned coldness and the art of being aloof from the best, and though his mask of indifference hid most of his feelings she could tell that her attitude at the moment wasn't sitting well with him. Perhaps he had been expecting a much warmer welcome.
"Can I come in?" he asked. Say no the voice in her head screamed at her. She had never been able to say no though, so moved aside and let him move past her.
Closing the door, she turned to look at him as he took in his surroundings. He had never been inside before; this was the one place that she had kept free of him. "What is that you want."
"I am going to London to meet with Kingsley."
This surprised her, he had been very adamant about his feelings of expanding his business overseas. "Oh."
"St. Mungo's lack of funding for their potions department is alarming. I would be remised if I don't take this chance to expand."
"May I point out that I tried to tell you this before." She said in a waspish tone.
"Yes, you did, however I didn't believe it till I was sent the numbers. Look my goal has always been to provide what is needed. I do make a profit from it, but only by a small margin. I am not in this business for the money, I want to make a difference. I think I might be able to make a difference there."
"So, did you come here to tell me that I was right, and to say thank you."
"No, I came here to ask you to come with me to London." She had been sure him being here wasn't to say thank you, but she hadn't thought he would be so bold as to ask her to come with him.
"And why would I come with you?"
"Because it is your job. I am the leading provider of medical potions in the states, and Britain is wanting my help to provide them the same service. You are the liaison for the relationship between the two counties and it's your job. Besides, I know for a fact that the American Auror started at the Ministry two weeks ago, it would be a good time to check in on the project."
"Why can't Emily go with you?" she said, unable to see a way around his logic.
"She has her hands full with the upcoming conference, now isn't a good time for her to get away."
"And you think that I don't?"
"Please come with me, I know things haven't been good with you and Finn since Potter left." He said, when she looked surprised at his knowledge of her personal life he smirked. There was the arrogant boy she had despised so much back at school. "I am friends with Finn, even if you have seen fit to see me. It might give you a break, a little space to figure somethings out. Beside you will be able to see your friends."
She wanted to say no, she wanted to tell him he could go to hell and figure it out on his own, but she couldn't. Making this deal happen for St. Mungo's did fall under her job title and going home for a visit did have its own appeal. Besides no matter how much she may want to lead him to believe otherwise, their work on the task force was done. They had laid out all the finer details for the project, they had gotten everyone to agree to come to the table for the discussion, it was now in someone else's hands to get it over the finish line. Beside it would be the perfect time to start talking to Hogwarts about the exchange program between the two school's and maybe even a chance to start outlining a tournament between the two schools. There was no real reason that she shouldn't go, and every reason why she should. Her feelings whatever they maybe for the man standing in front of her couldn't get in the way of her doing her job. She had promised herself this early on, she would not allow him to get in the way of her duty to their world, to the ministry.
"Fine, I will go. But only because you are right it is my job. I am not doing this for you."
"I didn't think you would." He said, she could tell he was being honest. "Look I know you are still mad at me."
"I just don't understand how you didn't think I deserved to know." She wasn't mad, she was hurt. For the first time in four hundred years he hadn't picked her. She had made it very clear; she didn't want him and that she wouldn't pick him over everyone else, but that knowledge didn't stop her from being hurt that he may just in fact love someone more than Henry had loved Helena. She tried to remind herself that they weren't the lather, that they were their own persons. But she could still feel the hallow place that had once been Helena in the back of her mind, and now that she had disconnected herself from the woman, she felt a little lost. She was free, but why was she so afraid of the idea of being free? It had been what she had always wanted had it not? To be free to be Hermione Granger, to be free to find happiness someplace other than where she had found in the past. Now that she was though, she found herself falling into the old trap she had always found herself in. She wanted to give Finn an honest chance because he did make her happy. She could see herself with him in fifty years from now, growing old and having a family. He could be her happy ending, but the voice in the back of her mind told her she didn't need a man for that, she only needed herself.
"You now knowing doesn't have to change anything, so don't let it." He said gently.
"When do you want to leave?" she couldn't go down this road with him right now, not if she had to go with him to London.
"I already have an appointment with Kingsley scheduled for tomorrow at three pm."
"Of course, you do." She said with annoyance. "When Finn gets back from his dinner, I will talk to him and see if he can get us a port key. We will have to leave no later than ten tomorrow morning."
He headed for the door, "I'll be waiting for your call." He said as he opened to the door to let himself out. "Thank you." He said before walking out.
That stupid man, she thought when he was gone. It was ironic really that she thought he was a stupid one, it was her who had allowed him to complicate her life all these years. If only she could neatly tuck him away life could be so much easier.
