In the dead of the night, Thor was laying in his bed, his eyes shut and his body looking limp.
Mjolnir was standing on the ground… It was still untouched, Thor had not even tried to lift it since Odin had cast the spell at his request.
The wind was swishing through the hallways; outside on a branch was sitting a crow, its eyes looking like two black, brilliant pearls, looking inside, then it spread out its wings and gently glided on the waves of air, through the open window, and then in mid air, it transformed into a young man whom firmly landed on the ground without even stumbling.
His black hair was framing his face as his green eyes had not left the seemingly sleeping figure for a single moment, those eyes were harsh… determined.
Slowly... like a slithering snake he moved forward, he loomed over the figure in the bed like a shadow, then he reached forward a hand, aimed it at the blond man's head… So close, nearly there...
Though suddenly, Loki's hand was grabbed again and he found himself meeting the thunder god's blue eyes, wide open and wide awake.
Thor's eyes were locked with Loki's, they were pained but determined.
Then Loki sneered as he launched forward only for Thor to grab him again, and they rolled across the bed and landed on the floor.
"Loki! Nothing good will come out of looking into my mind!" Thor insisted as he laid on top of Loki, pinning him to the ground.
Loki sneered. "Oh, I think I shall have to disagree with that," he stated as suddenly he lifted a leg and kicked Thor in the stomach, sending Thor to the side.
Thor barely managed to compose himself as Loki came after him again, with outstretched hands, this time though, Thor was ready as he grabbed Loki's wrist, and used Loki's own momentum to throw him over his own shoulder into the ground.
Loki turned around swiftly, and then came again. Thor stepped aside, then hit Loki on his back after he had passed. Loki turned around yet again and came back, this time Thor moved his foot and tripped him, sending Loki back to the ground.
There was quiet, Loki was on the ground… seething.
"Loki," Thor breathed.
"This… is not how Thor fights," Loki gasped for air. "Thor never waits for his opponents to attack.. and he certainly never uses his own opponents' attacks against them… Thor rushes in head first with a raised hammer.. Spending more energy than he has to, opening himself to attacks… He doesn't fight smart like this," and he turned around looking up at Thor.
Thor sighed. "When facing opponents stronger than you, you just have to learn how to fight in smarter ways," he commented, kneeling down. "You know this better than anyone, don't you Loki?" he asked. "That's how you fight, how you have to fight to stand a chance."
Loki's eyes narrowed.
"Against an opponent like you, Loki… One cannot rely on brawn. Your battlefield is not one of brawn but one of wits; to beat you, that is what needs doing," Thor commented.
Loki sat up now, crossing his legs on the floor, his eyes though were still narrow.
Thor smiled grimly. "Aye… You know me. But I know you as well, Loki," he breathed. "I didn't always… There were a lot of things I just assumed, and I turned a blind eye to other things. That's different now though, I know you."
Loki's face still remained stern, nearly hateful.
"I know you have it in you… To kill, without feeling remorse. To cause destruction and ignore those in need if it helps you fulfill your goal. I know you have it in you… To double cross and back stab, and feel no guilt if you feel your actions are justified… I know, you are not the adoring good hearted little brother I once hoped you were… That's not you."
It looked like Loki's face had been carved out of stone, even sitting down he looked looming, like that dark shadow.
"However I also know… You don't want to see Asgard fall. I know you love this realm and its people. When the situation arises, you really would sacrifice yourself to save them! I know you desire to prove your worth to Odin, to prove you are at least my equal, if not my superior. You desire for him to see that. I know you have worked so hard, so Odin may finally see you... So you would no longer be caught in my shadow. But he always turned the other way. It doesn't matter that he turns away though, for I know. I know you can be my superior, in many areas. I know you have a power within you, one for massive greatness. So great it can change the course of history in ways no one else can… The potential within you is so great, both for destruction and creation. It is within your own hands what you choose."
Loki sneered. "So you want me to be a good little brother and do the right things?" he asked.
Thor sighed. "Loki… You are a god of chaos itself, if you choose to, you can bring so much destruction. However, if you walk that path, that path will not only destroy your enemies, it will also destroy you," he informed. "Why allow that? When you could be the greatest god in all of Asgard?" he asked.
Loki bristled, then he shot up and again, his pale white hands stretched for Thor's head.
"No!" Thor grabbed Loki's wrists and Loki fumed, his fingers were inches away from Thor's head. "Loki, no," Thor said, his eyes growing misty, his voice shaking. "This won't do you any good! Please, I don't want to hurt you."
Loki seethed and hissed. "Stop telling me what is better for me."
Thor hissed, holding Loki's hands back… Then, an urge overwhelmed him… Thor, he was all alone in this place.
If only someone else could see! If just one other person would see and understand! Share his pain, see what he had gone through. Understand.
If Loki could… Thor looked up, he felt the yearning in his chest, for Loki to know, to see and understand. Part of Thor knew it was a bad idea, that Loki most likely wouldn't be able to handle it… The fear it could cause his little brother so much pain.
But that part of Thor was drowned out, by this yearning, this burning desire for Loki to understand.
One moment's weakness was all it took, Thor's hand only growing a little bit slack, and Loki's hands shot forward, now grabbing Thor's forehead, Thor, wide-eyed, looked up… It was too late. Loki had gotten what he wanted.
Immediately images ran through Thor's mind, bright and loud.
He saw the Jotunns, ruining his coronation, and himself screaming in anger. Thor saw himself walking to Jotunnheim, his mind burning with anger, Jotunn corpses laying at his feet and Odin's rage that came after.
He saw Odin send him to earth, casting a spell on Mjolnir, he saw himself grabbing Mjolnir as he roared in pain but the hammer refused to budge.
He saw the Destroyer, trying to kill him, Loki's voice inside of it, mocking him. "You will NEVER be ready Thor!"
Thor saw the bridge, Loki dangling over the abyss, he remembered holding onto Gungnir, Thor was screaming, pleading for Loki to hold on, felt the pain fresh in his chest as he begged. He looked down, and just for the briefest of moments... he looked into a pair of green, desperate eyes. Then though, the desperation turned to determination. Thor gasped, he knew what was going to happen even before it did! His mouth formed words, to yell for Loki! Yell it wasn't worth it! To please just hold on. And then... Loki let go. And Thor screamed as the pain overwhelmed him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Thor, stop! Don't jump, he's gone Thor! He's gone."
And Thor screamed, screamed as the thunder struck all around him.
Midgard! He saw Midgard, Loki standing on a building, but he was different. His face! It looked nearly wolf-like, his grin malicious as he licked his teeth. He was wielding a scepter, snorting about sentiment, stabbing Thor. However, the hurt to his spirit was much greater than the physical stab wound. And Loki's laughter, a cold chilling laughter as his eyes shined in pure madness, matching his wild animal-like grin while Thor's chest seemed to burst from sadness as he spoke.
"Please Loki... Come home."
But Loki. His eyes were only burning with that same hate and anger as he attacked again. And Thor had no choice, no choice but to lift his hammer at his own brother as the god of Mischief came charging against him. Thor had no choice but to defend, and he slammed down the hammer.
Loki in chains. Chains wrapped around his neck, wrapped around his hands and legs, and yet even despite that, his green eyes were filled with nothing but rage and hatred… Raw hate as he was locked in his cell.
Frigga's cold body laying on the floor, her eyes wide open but without a soul, blood escaping her open wound, her body limp... gone.
"I wish I could trust you."
"Trust my rage."
The dark elves… Loki running to Malakith. There was pure blood lust in Loki's eyes! A true desire for revenge. And then, a dagger... The dagger, buried in Loki's body and he fell to the ground... What was Thor supposed to feel? The brother he had known was long gone... Had been gone for a long time... He was gone...
Asgard! Statues of Loki… someone impersonating Odin. "I yield!" Loki!
Odin. "I love you my sons." Then he vanished, left them... Left them all alone. He left us alone!
Hela, her mad laughter, her grin, Mjolnir crumbling into dust, Loki grabbing him. "Get out! Get out now!"
Asgard… littered with bodies… Death… death itself had visited them. Thor wasn't strong enough, he tried to fight... To hit, but his hits were nothing and Hela laughed. She just laughed as Thor was left powerless. Slammed around at her mercy, he was nothing to her! A blade went right into his eye socket, the pain was beyond anything Thor had ever felt. And Hela was laughing, she took pleasure in his pain. It was easy for her... And Thor had no power. He could not beat her. He was too weak.
Surtur's flames rising, roaring, Asgard destroyed…
The few remaining Asgardians huddled on a spacecraft, Thanos… Loki held up, suspended in air, Thor saw the life leaving Loki's body. He saw it! It was right in front of him, he tried to reach! He tried to scream! But he was useless, choking on the warm blood in his throat as he tried. Tried to call out Loki's name! He was right there and then... Loki's body fell to the ground. Limp, like a rag doll. His green eyes were open, but they were glacial. There was nothing there... No... NOOOOOOOO!
The Asgardians, half plowed down… dead… all dead... In front of my very eyes. I saw... I could not stop it, could not save them... Too weak... Too pathetic.
The shot, he had the shot! Thanos! Standing right there! Aimed at the chest. "You should have gone for the head." Why? Why didn't I aim for the head? WHY?!
That massive hand, it lifted above Thor's head! He saw it! He heard it... The snap. A snap echoing through the cosmos, and in front of Thor's eyes, they turned to dust.
Their eyes were scared, desperate. Thor tried to reach, but it didn't help. The man he reached for vanished right in front of him. Like Loki, like Frigga... They were dust!
Thanos… Thanos was right there in front of Thor. Thor's anger, Thor's hate was burning! The Asgardians, Loki! The people turned to dust! The head! Went for the head!
That head, rolling across the ground… grinning, mocking him. The dead bodies didn't rise up again, the dust did not come back, it was all gone… All of it. And if there had been a way to fix it, Thor had just destroyed it in his own fit of anger.
Loki falling… People dying… Head rolling… Frigga on the ground… Hela laughing… Loki's neck twisted... Asgard burning with flames... Screams and laughter filled Thor's ears! And his vision! Red! Blood! It was so warm on his hands! But he couldn't touch the dust! He couldn't scream, the blood was in his throat. He couldn't see, his eye had been pierced, he couldn't touch, the person in front of him was turning to dust!
Dust... blood... death... blood... dust... death... death... death...
Images, flashes, emotions, in quick successions. Thor opened his mouth and screamed in pain as all of it, all at once was shown.
Then Thor realized, he wasn't the only one screaming, the person in front of him, touching his head...
"Stop..." Loki hissed. "Let me out! STOP!" he roared as a flash escaped his fingers and thrust Thor and Loki away from each other. Thor landed back in his bed and Loki crashed right into the wall.
Shell-shocked, Thor was laying in bed looking up, gasping for air, it felt like he had run an entire marathon. He heard the groan on the other side of the room. "Loki!" he gasped as he sat up.
Loki was slumped against the wall, his eyes, though, were wide open as he looked up. His face and eyes were painted with fear, shock and horror. "What... What..." he grabbed his face and Thor realized, tears were rolling down Loki's face as well…. Loki had peered into Thor's mind, it had only been glimpses but… When peering into the mind you don't just get the cold images but also the sensations connected to them; in fact, the sensations are much stronger than mere visuals.
Any emotion Thor had felt! Any bit of hurt, anger or despair! Loki had felt it too! Felt it!
Thor jumped to his feet and rushed to Loki, grabbing his shoulders. "Loki!" he gasped. "Are you hale?"
"No... no no no," Loki was shivering, wrapping his arms around himself as he was shaking. Tears were falling down his face. "Stop... No more... Stop... stop," he seemed to be gone from the room.
"LOKI!" Thor firmly held his shoulders, then shook him. "Loki! Come back! It's over, you're out of my head! Listen to my voice, there's nothing here! Loki!"
Wide-eyed, Loki looked up, his green eyes clouded in fear.
"It's okay... it's okay," Thor tried to reassure him. "Just... breath, okay?"
Loki's fearful eyes were on Thor, tears falling down... Then slowly, Loki seemed to find his way back. He gasped for breath, slowly, though the breath steadied as his eyes looked at Thor with confusion. But then... the fear turned to anger. Loki hissed, showing teeth. Then he pushed Thor away and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
"Loki..." Thor breathed. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen."
"I can handle it," Loki stated, even though his body was shaking; clearly he was struggling to get back in control. "Besides, those images make no sense whatsoever! I counted three times I died in there. How is that possible?!" he asked.
Thor swallowed. "Well… falling into the void isn't the same as dying. I mean, we all assumed it was, you were the first one to ever return from it... You did though. You faked it against the dark elves so you wouldn't have to go back to prison… makes sense, honestly, and the last one," Thor halted. "That truly was… the last one."
Loki looked up at Thor.
"I'll be honest, Loki, I don't know why I am here. I don't even know what I am doing here," Thor informed. "Or how I got here! I don't know! Neither do I know how to stop all of that from happening again. I am unable to do anything on my own, that's why… I need you. Don't you see that?" he asked.
Loki looked at Thor, it was so hard to read his emotions. He looked... beside himself, but also angry, his face contorting into a snarl. Yet, Thor had no idea what he was thinking.
"Loki, please," Thor said.
Loki closed his eyes, holding his head as he hissed. "There's just no way..." he stated. "It can't be... There's no way!"
"Loki," Thor breathed.
"Stop this nonsense, Thor!" Loki shouted, looking up, yet the tears in his eyes were clear as day. "So you got me! Got the better of me. Congratulations! Payback for what I intended to do at the coronation, right?! Okay, I yield! Let's stop playing now!" he demanded.
"I am not playing," Thor stated sadly.
"YOU HAVE TO BE!" Loki jumped forward. "This can't be real! There's no way any of this can be real!" he grabbed the front of Thor's night shirt as he seethed. "You're lying, aren't you?" he asked. "Just admit it! You're lying!"
Thor's eyes met Loki's, they were pained, apologetic... and so incredibly honest.
"Loki..." Thor breathed. "Help me... Please."
"Stop!" Loki asked. "Thor never asks for help! Thor never admits he needs help! He just grabs you and pulls you with him on his stupid adventure without asking! Where's Thor? I want my Thor!"
"I don't know where he is, I'm sorry," Thor informed. "I'm the one here now, and I need your help."
"What am I supposed to do, exactly?!" Loki asked. "I can't help you with… whatever this is! How can I?"
"I don't know," Thor admitted. "However, the day we became enemies, that's when everything started to go wrong! Terribly, terribly wrong!" he stated. "Maybe, if we don't allow ourselves to become enemies... But be brothers like we were supposed to… Maybe, things will be different."
Loki closed his eyes, he grew weak, falling down to his knees, the anger seemed to have burned out and the confusion took hold once more.
"Loki," Thor breathed.
Loki had become quiet, sitting on the floor.
And Thor fell down on his knees as well, then gently wrapped his arms around Loki. "I am so sorry," he breathed. "I warned you... I tried to stop you."
Loki was limp in Thor's arms, he didn't even reject it.
"I should have tried harder... I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Thor continued and Loki closed his eyes.
"How can I help?" Loki finally asked and Thor's eyes widened, then slowly he let go meeting Loki's own eyes. "You wanted help, what can I do?" he asked.
Thor gasped, his eyes as misty as Loki's; Loki still looked confused, but slowly he was gaining composure. Then Thor smiled, embracing Loki again.
"Thank you!" Thor sniffed. "Thank you, Loki, thank you!"
Loki blinked. "Erhm," he was still confused in Thor's arms.
"We can figure it out, as long as we work together as brothers, I know it!" Thor cried.
"I… erh..." Loki halted. "There there," he awkwardly padded Thor on the shoulder. "Now… Stop touching me."
"Just… five seconds more." And Thor took his five seconds, then finally let go, sitting back and wiping his eyes.
As he looked up, Loki looked so confused... And so lost. Thor was unsure what to do. To reach out? To comfort him? Everything was so confusing.
"You weren't even sleeping," Loki commented.
Thor shook his head. "When I sleep... I hear them. I see them... The things," he halted.
"When did you last sleep?" Loki asked.
Thor didn't reply. That though, was its own answer.
"You need to sleep," Loki then informed.
"I can't," Thor closed his eyes. "The yells... They are so loud. You heard."
Loki bit his lip, then he stood up and grabbed Thor's arm, pulling him up, then guided him to bed where Thor collapsed. Hopelessly looking up at Loki.
Loki's eyes were so confused, so lost. He was clearly struggling, not knowing what to do! Then finally he sighed as he closed his eyes and suddenly he changed shape, his body becoming small and slender, black fur covering his body as a tale swayed after him and a beautiful black cat with shimmering green eyes was sitting at the foot end of Thor's bed.
Then the black cat stretched its back as cats always do and laid down.
Thor smiled, he had actually forgotten they had done this as children… When their parents had said they were too old to sleep together their way of rebelling had been doing it like this. Finally Thor sighed as he laid down, Loki's presence at the other end of the bed in the shape of a cat was in fact very calming and for once, Thor was allowed peaceful sleep.
