"Fenedhis!" Solas shouted to the void, pacing back and forth in the Fade.

In elvhen, a spirit spoke: "Are you frustrated because of what you've committed to do, or because of the girl in particular?"

"I'm frustrated because all of this is pointless! I'm getting wrapped up in something that shouldn't matter; I'm letting my emotions control my actions. And for some reason, I seem to care about what she thinks of me! The stakes are so much higher than this pettiness!"

"If that were true, you wouldn't have hurt her. Or you wouldn't care that you did."

Solas stopped and began rubbing his temples, feeling a headache reach him even from his dream. The Fade swam with the intensity of it and he felt the overwhelming urge to scream until his voice escaped him. But he didn't. Instead, Solas looked at his friend of the Fade and felt appreciation for its candor.

"Thank you. But I feel it's much more complicated than that. I care for her, deeply, but I also understand that I shouldn't. And I know she wouldn't understand, but it would be better for her if I left everything where it was and let her forget about me. She can't know the risks that threaten."

"If you want her to forget about you, at least leave things on a positive note. Don't let her stay filled with resentment for the rest of her life."

Solas let out a soft chuckle, "Once again, your wisdom is boundless, my friend."

"I am Wisdom."

Solas awoke to find himself filled with a new sense of determination. Though still slightly hesitant, he pushed himself through the last stretch of his journey to the Free Marches. And in the back of his mind, he wished he had done this first before running away to escape everyone.

.

.

.

While Andra felt a new spring in her step, she also had a funny feeling in the back of her mind. Not anything that made her worry, but just an instinct that made her feel like something was going to happen today. Perhaps, something good?

"Andra! Come help me with these!" A female elf called from a little bit away. She was picking up several sacks full of various materials with her assistant but there was still too much for them to carry by themselves.

Andra rushed over and picked up as much as she could, "Creators! What's in these?"

The female elf laughed, "Our hunters found a bunch of Ironbark today, and a few other things. It's all materials that I'll use to make us some better weapons and armor. Who knows, maybe our newest hunter will finally be able to take down his very own Druffalo!"

It was Anda's turn to laugh. The 'new hunter' was one of the younger boys who was just learning how to use a sword and his bow. And later on in the week, if he was successful in his task, he would become a man and the Keeper would bestow him with his own Vallaslin. Andra felt a pang of happiness for him.

As the three of them set the bags down behind a make shift table covered in unfinished weapons and armor pieces—among other things too—Andra felt a pair of eyes staring at her. When she looked up, she saw the female elf giving her the smuggest, most knowing look she'd ever received.

Andra dawned an ignorant expression, "What?"

"You and Calem, huh?"

The confusion only got worse, "Calem and I what?"

The elf's smug grin grew wider, "The two of you are practically the talk of the whole clan! It's been quite some time since there was any romance around here."

Andra caught on, "What? No! We're just friends."

"Friends who cuddle around the fire?"

"We just missed each other. It's been a long time since we've seen one another and we've just been catching up."

"You can deny it all you want, Andra," the elf said as she began putting away some of the supplies and putting a few out on the table, "but we can all see it. Even if you can't. Even Calem understands what's happening."

"Nothing's happening!"

The elf turned her back on the frustrated blonde and Andra's words fell on deaf ears. But now that someone had said something, she realized that the way she and Calem had been acting towards each other definitely would give everyone the impression that they liked each other. And they did. But for Andra, she felt too much time had passed; too much had happened in between the years she and Calem had been apart.

Somewhere in Andra's heart, she still loved Calem. Loved him like she did when they were still kids, pretending that one day they'd marry each other, that they'd never be apart. Loved him like when they made the Ara'lin'hasal—and somewhere in her personal belongings, she still had the other half. But now, the circumstances were different. She cared for Calem, but she had also been brushed by death when the Inquisition fought to stop Corypheus; she had made new friends that had changed the way she saw life; slew countless enemies and became calloused as their blood ran like ruby rivers beneath her feet. She had also grown close with another elf that she didn't entirely get along with, yet still cared deeply for. The thought of him tugged at her heart, pulling her spirit away from the Dalish and into territory she wasn't familiar with. She had known no other life than her clan until she had gone to the Inquisition, and Solas had made her think outside of her small box despite her resistance. It was also this that made it hard for her to adjust back into her old life. Despite her love for her clan, a small part of Andra accepted Solas' words, and that small part was making the rest of her slowly accept as well.

This also made her feel alienated.

None of the Dalish, no matter what clan, would accept what Solas had told her. They had all spent too long living in their ideals, passing down history that they were interpreting wrong, to just start over.

So Andra kept it all to herself.

Even then, did it matter? After so long, after all the years that had passed, new traditions had taken the place of old and forgotten ones. Meanings had changed. Elvhenkind was different now. It was a different world. Were the Dalish not allowed a little grace for taking all they had—all that they could recover—and adapting?

"Have you been getting stared at all day too?" Calem asked after Andra had finished up some daily duties for the clan and now everyone was eating dinner. At first, she thought he was poking fun at her, but when she looked at his face she saw his sincerity.

"I have. I think everyone thinks we're together, or close to it anyway," Andra said as she packed some kindling under the log tepee she just finished setting up in the fire pit.

"You make it sound like such a bad thing."

The Keeper's First used magic to light the kindling. "Not inherently," Andra replied, sitting on a log next to Calem, "but they're not true. We're really close, but we're not a couple yet."

Calem grinned, "Yet?"

Andra jabbed him with her elbow, "You know what I meant." Inwardly, she scowled to herself at all the cheeky smiles everyone around the fire was trying to hide.

"I forgot to ask you," Calem began, thumbing the bracelet around his wrist, "Where's your half?"

Andra followed his gaze to realize what he was talking about, "I still have it. It's in my pack in my tent."

"You never wear it."

"I haven't worn it since I left my clan. The world was threatened by destruction and I didn't want to lose it in one of our battles." She could tell he wasn't convinced, "And I haven't put it back on because I've spent over a year not wearing it. I'm not used to it anymore. It's not the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning."

He seemed to flinch, "I think you've just forgotten about it."

"If that were true, then I wouldn't know that I still have it," Andra went on, defensively.

"It's not a feeble jewelry piece, no one has ever just had one fall off before. If you took yours off…" He let his voice trail away.

"You think I stopped caring about you?" Andra finished for him. The sudden turn of the conversation made the air thicken with tension and everyone around the fire moved a bit away.

"Did you think of me at all while we were apart?"

"I…" She paused to take a breath, watching as the flame's reflection danced in Calem's golden eyes, "I did." She admitted. "And I would also think about how much I missed my clan, the forest, I even missed the halla."

Calem leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he laced his fingers together between his legs, staring at the fire, "That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant," Andra said softly as she brushed some of her blonde hair out of her face and behind one of her pointed ears. "But it's been…" She paused, going through her memories, "…over a decade since we last saw each other. And I think that maybe there could be room to start over, but we were just kids. It was a child's promise. I was sixteen the last time we saw each other, when my clan moved out here to the Free Marches."

Andra saw Calem's gaze fall slightly, and the sorrow that seemed to wrap itself around his body. She understood his feelings, but also understood that too much time had passed for them to just pick up where they left off. Too much had changed.

She had changed.

"I understand," Calem said flatly as he stood up. "I'll see you in the morning?" But he didn't leave her time to reply as he walked away, heading to where his tent was.

"I think you hurt his feelings," A little kid said that sat on an adjacent log.

Andra looked at the little elf and gave a sad smile before getting up herself and walking in the opposite direction to her own tent. It had been a good day, but the moment she had with Calem had drained her; she felt emotionally exhausted.

And the moment she kicked off her boots and stripped down to her smalls, she fell asleep.

.

.

.

"Ir abelas, Lethallan."

Andra stared as her dream showed her the image of Solas. She didn't know why she was dreaming about him, she never had before, but it was a most welcome sight after all the months that had passed. She guessed, subconsciously, she had been missing him. Perhaps that was why she was seeing him now.

"Dirthas vir'dirth'elvhen?"

Solas had spoken to her in Elvhen many times, and had explained the meanings behind words she hadn't understood, but her knowledge of the language was as developed as any Dalish elf's could be. She knew sparse words, a handful of phrases, but had never been able to hold a long term conversation. Not that any elf other than Solas could have, anyway.

Surprisingly, however, she didn't feel that restriction this time and the words came easily to her. "Dirthas." She replied, and he seemed to smile.

"Eman solas i'mar eol! Bel 'Dalish tel'dirthas…"

"You say that as if you didn't already know how very little of the old language I understand. Yet... I feel as if that's never been so..." A pause, then, "I must be going crazy." She stared out at the Fade. But it was then that she realized how vivid her dream was. Usually, her sleep was accompanied by hazy visions and she would awake to find the she didn't remember her dream at all, or very little of it. But this… Andra had no doubt that when she woke up, she would remember everything.

"You're not." The vision of Solas said.

Andra laughed, "I must be! I'm dreaming about you!"

His smile was knowing, "Not at all. In fact, I'm actually here. In your dream."

"What?"

"I learned the trick a long time ago."

"You're actually… here?"

"Don't dwell too much on it, it's not important."

Andra took a moment to think over what was happening. And then she remembered what he first said, "You started with 'I'm sorry'. Why?"

Solas sighed and turned his back to her, staring out at her dream that he was controlling, "Forgive me, I couldn't do this in person… But you deserve an apology for the way I acted in those ruins."

"In the Emerald Graves?"

"Yes."

Andra thought back to their heated argument about the Dalish. She would admit that he hurt her, that his words cut into her like a knife, but she also knew in her heart that she couldn't hold it against him. She didn't know how she knew that, but she did. The pain of it was no longer fresh, she had had time to process at her own pace and she had found that after the initial shock had worn off, she wasn't as angry as she thought she was. "Irlahnash."

He turned and smiled sadly at her, "I will be gone by the time you awake, but I couldn't leave things resentful."

"What? Why?"

"It's not significant. Just know that I'm glad you've found some happiness."

"What do you mean? Since I returned to my clan? I didn't go back because I missed my old life. I went back because I needed to clear my head."

"I see. However, I was referring to the elvhen boy."

Andra's face twisted in confusion until realization dawned on her, "Calem?"

"I didn't need to know his name, but yes."

"Wait. Are you here, in the Free Marches?"

"I could not have entered your dreams from Skyhold, or anywhere else I might have been. So yes, I am nearby. I'll be gone before you wake up, though."

"So what? Thenan i rosan ara vun? Pretend this never happened?" Andra fumed, feeling conflicted. In a way, she knew things should be left as is. He apologized, she had forgiven him, all was at peace. Except she wasn't. Another part of her didn't want him to walk out of her life again.

"Satha, Lethallan."

"Don't go…"

"Ahn ane gealem or? Is it not better this way?"

Andra stared at the fading vision of Solas, the lucidity of her dream going with him. It was all fading back to the hazy visions she was so familiar with, and with it, the control to know that she was dreaming.

Before she knew it, Andra was once again caged in the visions of her adventures with the Inquisition.


ELVHEN USED:

Fenedhis: Literally-"Wolf dick", but it's used as a universal curse. The term is also in relation to Fen'harel (the Dread Wolf), so it can be akin to saying "goddammit" as well.

Ara'lin'hasal: "Lover's knot". There are always two halves to this bracelet, usually shared between two people that deeply care for each other—as the name implies.

Ir abelas: "I'm sorry"

Lethallan: Casual reference used for someone with whom one is familiar. Lethallin is used for males, while lethallan is used for females, but this is not always the case. Akin to "cousin" or "clansman" since "lin" is the word for blood.

Dirthas vir'dirth'elvhen?: "Can you speak Elvhen?"

Dirthas: "I can"

Eman solas i'mar eol! Bel 'Dalish tel'dirthas...: "I'm proud of your skill! Many Dalish do not..."

Irlahnash: "Forgiveness" or "Forgiven"

Thenan i rosan ara vun?: "I wake up and live my life?"

Satha: "Please"

Ahn ane gealem or?: "What are you scared of?"

Vallaslin: Blood writing. Dalish receive these markings around 18, sometimes younger. When of age, the elf prepares by meditating on the Gods and the Dalish, then by purifying the body and skin. When the time comes, the Keeper applies the blood writing—in complete silence. Cries of pain are taken as a sign of weakness. If the elf cannot tolerate the pain, they are deemed unready to take on the responsibilities of an adult and the Keeper may make the decision to stop the ritual.