This… was a fine pickle Thor found himself in.

What they needed now was to steal from Thanos, a highly dangerous objective. They could not afford to make the slightest mistake.

More than ever Thor needed Loki, and he needed Loki to think rationally.

But Loki was in no position to think nor act rationally.

Loki was angry, he would growl and sneer at Thor; clearly the anger came from a place of hurt.

It wasn't that Thor in any way blamed Loki for it, Loki's reactions were entirely justified in every shape and form.

As it just happened, if they were caught by Thanos, death would be the positive result! Though what Thanos would do to them probably didn't matter that much as the universe itself would just stop existing in due time.

They could not afford mistakes! But the way Loki was now, they would make a mistake. And Thor had no idea what to do.

And so here they were… In a hotel room in Norway that Thor had gotten for them, Loki laying on his own bed with his back to Thor, refusing to talk, angry.

Thor had not left Loki's side, he really didn't dare. There was no telling what Loki would do or wouldn't do if left alone right now. He had asked the receptionist to order some food for them and he had tried to offer it to Loki.

Only to get it thrown right back into his face… Note to self. Tartar sauce is not easy to get out of your hair and beard. And Thor could swear he was still smelling of dill pickles, even after soaping and rinsing his own beard in the bathroom sink.

Now Thor was hopelessly sitting on his own. Loki's bed only being a few feet away from his, once again the feeling of pure hopelessness overwhelmed him. What was he supposed to do?! What could he do?! If he could just go kill a big beast to make things better, that would be amazing! But it didn't work like that... Nothing ever worked like that. His only option was talking. But Loki was in no mood for talking.

Still, Thor sighed deeply. He had to try. "Erhm… Loki," Thor spoke.

All he got was a sneer, nearly a growl.

"It… It really doesn't matter." Thor stated. "The Jotnar are not..."

"I am not Jotnar!" Loki seethed. "And if you ever dare to compare me to that bunch of brain dead, ice-blocks of club swinging morons! I will kill you!"

"Oh." Thor quieted.

Loki growled again, still with his back to Thor.

"I'm just trying to say..." Thor hesitated. "Jotnar or no, your skills and abilities are your own. This revelation changes nothing, you are still the exact same person."

"Tell me, Thor, has Odin ever told a truth in his life?" Loki asked.

"Well, not everything can be a lie," Thor said, hesitating.

"But it is all built on lies," Loki seethed, sitting up.

"Well… Aye," Thor admitted. "But that's also why we shouldn't try to seek his approval, it's not worth it."

Loki was quiet.

"We should not be bound by his words. We can be so much better than that," Thor stated.

Loki swallowed. "You have said that repeatedly," he admitted. "Ever since you changed." Finally he turned to actually look at Thor. "You said I have it in me to surpass him."

"Aye," Thor breathed. "You could be so much, Loki… Odin is only tying you down. Your lust for revenge is a hindrance. If you would just be your own person, there wouldn't be anything you couldn't achieve."

"As if you truly want me to succeed," Loki seethed. "We always competed! Always tried to be better than each other."

"Which is very childish." Thor sighed. "We are better when we support each other instead of trying to pull each other down. Yes, I got jealous now and again so I tried to show off. You were always so brilliant, so much cleverer than I could ever hope to be. You understood all the things I could never hope to remotely grasp, next to you I was foolish and stupid. So I flexed my muscles so you wouldn't overshadow me and I wouldn't fall behind. I was... always afraid I wouldn't be a worthy older brother to someone so brilliant, so I always tried to show off. I..." he halted. "I wanted you to look up to me," he finally admitted.

Loki quieted, stunned. He looked at Thor. "Really?" he asked.

"Really," Thor replied. "Heh... I didn't want to look stupid next to you, so I... Well." Thor sighed. "Acted pretty stupid, ironically," He said with a slight eyeroll. "It seems so childish now, so stupid. All that stuff, it just doesn't matter anymore. Weird how important it felt back then, and right now... I just don't care. So what if you're smarter than me? That's a good thing! You could do so much good! For so many people!"

Loki hissed, clearly annoyed.

"In my time.. Everyone is dead, Loki," Thor informed sadly. "Including Odin, including you. What would it matter? All those old petty feelings?" he asked.

That made Loki quiet.

"I know none of this is right. But we have a universe to concern ourselves with," Thor said.

"I really don't care," Loki muttered. "The universe can go to Hel!"

"You don't mean that." Thor shook his head. "What about Asgard? What about our people? Our mother?" he asked.

"What about them?" Loki asked sourly. "They are all just waiting to mock me once more!" he hissed.

"Loki, in their hour of need... you came for them, you do care," Thor said.

Loki still didn't look happy, he seemed to be fuming, his hands tightening on the bed sheet as his eyes were on the ground.

Thor looked at him with pleading eyes. "Loki… Please. I can't do this alone. I can't do anything alone. I need you."

Loki looked away, his hair falling down his face, obscuring his eyes.

"I can't rely on Odin," Thor said. "The Warriors Three and Sif are loyal but none has your skill nor intelligence! You are very literally the only one I dare to rely on here."

Loki was sitting still… Quiet. He was so very quiet.

"Loki, please," Thor asked again. "We will deal with this, I promise you. But it will be at a later time. I am on your side! Odin wronged you, he wronged both of us. I am not going to just let this go either."

Loki squinted his eyes as his head lowered, but he couldn't hide the tears starting to emerge.

Finally Thor dared to stand up and move next to Loki, then sat down next to him, sighing deeply. He could feel Loki next to him shaking, and truth be told, Thor was not very far from that point either.

"So is this what happened in the other timeline?" Loki asked, still not looking at Thor. "I figured it out… My origin. Turned on Odin, and we became enemies?" he asked.

"Something like that," Thor admitted.

"Please Thor… Tell me," Loki asked, finally turning his head so their eyes met. Loki's eyes were pleading, desperate! And so was his voice. "Tell me what happened. In your timeline."

Thor was quiet, he sucked in a breath, then finally he nodded. "I don't know everything," he admitted. "You see, your plan of letting Jotnar inside to ruin my coronation was a success. I got angry. Furious! Just like you predicted! I had a fit of rage in the dining hall, in front of everyone. Just like you predicted I would!"

Loki sucked in a breath but sat still and Thor continued.

"Then I demanded revenge and I went to Jotunnheim, bringing you, the Warriors Three and Sif to kill some Jotnar, just to satisfy my lust for revenge," he began. "And I did... I killed Jotunns. Didn't even know if they had been part of the attack on my coronation or not, I just killed the first ones I saw."

Loki swallowed, shaking lightly.

"I regret it now... But not back then. Father was furious." Thor sighed. "And this time, for the first time... There were consequences. Father stripped me of all of my powers, put a spell on Mjolnir so only he who is worthy of the power of Thor would be able to lift her and he banished me to Midgard. I was stuck there, in the form of a mortal, cut off from Asgard, no one to talk to or contact, unable to move Mjolnir the slightest bit. I was alone... I was weak. Yet still just as foolish, and just as arrogant. Worst part though is, I had no idea what was happening on Asgard. And to this day, I still can't be sure."

Loki was quiet, very quiet. Just listening.

"I don't know how, but somehow you found out about your Jotunn origin. You got in a fight with Odin, I think." Thor frowned. "Eventually you contacted me, it was odd though. You seemed... I don't even know. You..." he halted.

Loki frowned and Thor turned his head away.

"Go on," Loki prodded and Thor squinted his eyes. "The truth, Thor," he demanded. "Tell me."

"You... told me Odin was dead. It was a lie, but I trusted you. I believed you." Thor swallowed, his eyes growing wet. "Then... that awful machine, the Destroyer. It had your voice, and you... You..."

"There would be only one reason for me to send the Destroyer at such a time, to exploit your weakened state. Use the opportunity to kill you," Loki commented and Thor's eyes widened. Then they squinted and he sniffed as he nodded.

"I... I couldn't let you do it. I couldn't let you harm all those innocents. I knew I was weak, I knew I was likely to lose. But I had to try! I think for the first time, I realized how big and strong we must look to other people. How scary we are to them. And they have lives too! Their worth is just as great as ours! I had to protect them! At least I had to try! And somehow, that proved me worthy. My powers were returned, Mjolnir came to me as I called upon her and thus I could defeat the Destroyer. There was no time to linger though, I made haste to Asgard to find out what was happening... Never could I have imagined..."

Loki frowned.

"You... You were using the power of the Bifrost itself, trying to eradicate all of Jotunheim, all of it," Thor gasped. "The entire realm and all who lived there, man, woman or child. All would have died." He swallowed. "I had to stop you! But you refused to stop, even when Odin awoke and demanded you cease your actions, you refused. We ended up fighting on the rainbow bridge itself! You looked like you had gone mad, I had no idea why! No matter what I said, it wasn't reaching you. I tried, I called for you. But you didn't seem to hear." Thor swallowed, he nearly broke. "And then..." he sniffed.

Loki was only quiet.

"It was me..." Thor sobbed "I smashed the bridge with Mjolnir and you tripped, I just managed to grab Gungnir, I tried to pull you up… I tried," he informed.

"I saw that in your mind," Loki breathed. "I let go..."

Thor nodded. "You let go… " He covered his eyes with his hands. "Oh Loki, if you knew how many sleepless nights I spent asking why? For a moment you were looking at me, for a moment I thought you would let me save you, but then your face changed and then... You just let go! I didn't understand! I didn't know what was going on. Why had you tried to kill me?! Why had you lied about Odin?! Why were you trying to destroy all of Jotunheim?! You who had said to me I shouldn't go seek revenge there. That I should have left them alone. Why did you let go?!" he asked in between sniffles. "That is when... I was finally told. About your true origin. That you had been found on Jotunheim when you were just a babe. That you had found out on your own, but no one knew how. That you had killed your father by blood. Laufey. But it still didn't make any sense to me! Nothing did!"

"How did you react?" Loki asked.

"I was so angry," Thor breathed. "Angry at Odin, angry at Mother, but mostly… Angry at myself. I just wanted you back. Mother said something, that you had the blood of a Jotnar but the heart of an Aesir and you had been destined for so much greatness. I think she believed it. But I didn't care, I just wanted you back with me. An entire year went by, we could only assume you had perished. And I still never understood. Then suddenly, we heard word that you had appeared. On Midgard!" Thor gasped. "I couldn't believe it!" he said. "Somehow, I still have no idea how! You managed to return from the void! The void, Loki!" He looked at Loki with wide eyes. "No one returns from there! But you, you did!" he said. "I was so happy, so hopeful. I wanted you home! I thought if we just met once more we could figure it out. I could finally find out what had gone wrong and fix it!"

"It didn't turn out that way, did it?" Loki asked.

"No… You clearly had no desire to go home. To spite Odin and I, you tried to take over Midgard." Thor sighed. "Or at least, that was your claim."

Loki looked at Thor, his eyes questioning.

"I didn't know at the time!" Thor informed. "But when you fell into the void, you fell into Thanos's hands! He had commanded that you go conquer Midgard for him! I only know what others told me, but… I was told there was much screaming involved and that it took the power of an Infinity Stone to bend you!"

"Thanos had the Mind Stone," Loki breathed.

Thor nodded. "And he used it against you, it seems. I don't know! I don't know what happened to you between your fall and your appearance on Midgard. You never told anyone. I just know that you were truly acting like my enemy that day. I just wanted you to come home with me, you clearly didn't want to, you attacked Migard, killed Midgardians in spades, demanded that they all kneel to you and make you their king! Whenever I tried to reach for you, to talk to you... You just attacked me instead, viciously so. I couldn't reach you! And I was forced to take you home in chains." Tears ran down Thor's face.

Loki was quiet, it was clear what he was thinking, he had seen that image too, and Thor remembered it so clearly. Loki, chains around his wrists, legs and even his neck. Heavy magical chains weighing him down as he walked, Einherjars on either side of him, holding him in check. A prisoner in all meanings of the word.

"Then what?" Loki asked.

Thor shook his head. "You didn't tell us about Thanos, you didn't say anything. All you talked about was how it was your birthright to be king. If you couldn't have Asgard you would have Midgard. This was your claim. We could only assume you had acted on your own and thus you were sentenced to life in prison."

Loki swallowed. "Seems like a pretty light sentence for that number of offenses," he commented.

"Loki?" Thor asked.

"kin-slaying, attempted murder of the crown prince of Asgard, invasion of Asgard territory, opening the gates for Asgard's enemies into the castle, the heart of Asgard," Loki slowly counted fingers. "If I were in Odin's seat.. honestly," he sighed.

"His first sentence was execution," Thor admitted and Loki closed his eyes. "Mother though wouldn't hear of it. So prison it was."

Loki hissed.

"Loki?" Thor asked.

"That wasn't me. I have not done any of those things," Loki stated in a defensive tone.

"No, of course not!" Thor gasped.

"But I could have!" Loki sniffed. "I fully intended to let Jotunns inside to ruin your coronation. It wasn't to save Asgard, I admit it! It was to make you look foolish! When we confronted Odin in the catacombs, I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt you just a little while ago. I aimed my weapon at you!"

Thor swallowed.

"And you know what the worst part is?" Loki asked, making Thor shake his head. "Part of me... still wants to hurt you. Hurt Odin. I am so angry, I am shaking." He clenched his hands. "That version of me, in your memories. A man who is a slave to his own rage, eyes like an animal. It... It could have been me."

"Could have, but isn't. Not anymore." Thor smiled, a little sadly but also hopeful. "You can choose, Loki. The choice is in your own hands, no one else's."

Loki looked at his hands, his body still lightly shaking. "Then what happened?" he asked.

"You were put in a cell, of course." Thor sighed. "The most secure cell in the palace. You were forbidden visitors. Mother broke the rule and came anyway, I mean, she's Mother, she always did whatever she wanted."

Loki nodded, still listening so intensely.

"And then..." Thor gasped. "It…. It was... So much happened. Father, he was losing it. I mean, not in a funny way, he was acting so differently, not like himself at all. Or well, maybe he did act like himself, I just didn't know him that well yet and it was the first time he showed his true colors. I don't know!" Thor gasped, grabbing his head. "Your actions really seemed to do something, something snapped inside of him, he changed so much! He didn't seem rational at all! Then we were attacked by dark elves and they..." His throat tied itself together. "They killed mother, it truly made Father snap! I couldn't even recognize him anymore! Suddenly he was stubborn and outright cruel, refusing to listen to reason! His orders, they were madness!" he gasped. "I had to act in secret, I had to disobey his orders! They were orders of insanity! He was dooming his own people and for what?!" He asked. "I broke you out, I couldn't see any other way. I couldn't rely on Father, I had to act on my own as my own person, and you were the only one with the skills required for my plan to work! So together we faced our mother's killer and then..." he halted.

"I died for the second time," Loki finished for him.

Thor smirked lightly. "I knew you weren't dead," he admitted. "I also knew, if I took you back to Asgard, Odin's punishment for you would be cruel… I wouldn't put it past him to sentence you to death. Or perhaps even a fate more cruel than death. He was still stricken with grief over Mother's death. She was no longer around to protect you, and Odin had already shown he wouldn't listen to me. It was better to just play the part of a grieving brother and let you go. I couldn't overlook your crimes on Midgard but neither did I want you dead so... I knew the Loki I had known was long gone already. I justified turning a blind eye to your trick with the thought that you helped avenge Mother. So... I declared you dead. I assumed I would never see you again, hoped you would just run away. Far away, live your own life. The brother I knew was gone. It was time to move on. Finally I knew, and so I did."

"But that wasn't the end of it like you had hoped." Loki sighed deeply.

"No… I wasn't in Asgard for some years. I couldn't stomach the sight of Odin, I had to clear my mind somehow, so I spent a couple of years on Midgard with my new friends on the realm. And then the realms started to act up and I traveled across them to solve some disputes. Finally I came back to Asgard and..." Thor couldn't help but smirk. "Well Loki, who would be sitting on the throne but you?" he asked. "Wearing Odin's face as a disguise, acting as king."

Loki lifted an eyebrow.

Thor sighed deeply. "I think what angered me the most was that you had been dumb enough to go back! I had allowed you the perfect opportunity to just leave! Go somewhere else! Start over, live your own life. But no, you were there! And I still could not overlook your crimes. You had never given as much as a single apology nor explanation, I was forced to treat you like a criminal. You had come back and used trickery to get the throne, if nothing had happened I would have been forced to imprison you at the very least." He groaned deeply. Feeling tired by the mere memory. "And what had you done with Odin?" Thor asked. "Stripped him of his power, enchanted his mind so he thought he was a mortal and put him in an elderly home on Midgard."

Loki tilted his head. "Really?" he asked.

Thor smiled, amused. "You know, considering that Odin was prepared to execute you, I think that's a very mild form of revenge. And honestly, I couldn't be too angry with you. It was odd, you seemed to be acting much more like yourself than the previous times we had encountered." He smiled fondly at the memory. "Not so vicious, just mischievous. I can't say I know why that change occurred. It did make me happy though, even if I had to hide it," he admitted. "Still, I hated the position you had put me in! And to make it even worse... unlike us, Odin was very old and... He couldn't take the strain. It was too much for him." Thor sighed as he shook his head. "Suddenly Odin's descent into madness a few years prior made sense. He had been slipping for a while, only then did I realize. My own coronation had been pushed forward because Odin knew he was slipping, he wasn't..." Thor pointed at his head. "Quite there. All the things that happened just pushed him further, and being robbed of his powers, of the very magic keeping him afloat, well..." Thor sighed. "He died."

Loki swallowed, shivering.

"It wasn't your fault, Loki, he was dying already," Thor assured. "Any Odinsleep he entered at that point could be his last and he was well aware. He had been dying for years. Just very slowly."

Loki closed his eyes, but listened.

"And then Hela was released," Thor breathed. "Death reigned, so few escaped. Our only way to defeat Hela was to destroy Asgard... It went up in flames, with her in it. But only after she had already killed all the warriors of Asgard. We were so few. We battled her together, you and I," he said. "A common enemy threatening our people, of all things, that was what brought us back together." He squinted his eyes. "Barely did we make our escape on the spaceship you had brought. All packed on just that one spaceship and then Thanos..." He swallowed, shaking his head, trying to shake off the shock but he failed, his entire body was shaking. "It really figures. Only a crisis of such great magnitude could force us to work together once more... You could not turn away from such a great crisis either and you came. However, that also meant..." His throat tied itself together, he sniffed. "You foolish idiot, Loki! What were you thinking?! Trying to take on Thanos by yourself?!" Now he sounded honestly frustrated but also so broken. "We... We were without a chance and this time, Loki. This time... You were out of luck. We were out of luck." He had to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand.

Loki hung his head. "You can stop now, it's enough," he informed, as he wrapped his arms around himself. "I get it… I get it." He squinted his eyes shut.

Thor was sobbing quietly, hating that he could not stop himself. Then though, he felt a hand on his shoulder and Thor glanced up to see Loki, holding his shoulder while looking out of the window, a distant look in his eyes.

Thor sniffed. "Loki, I know… things won't just be fixed. So much about this is so wrong, but… I really, really need you right now," he admitted. "Loki… Please," he implored.

Loki was sitting, with squinted eyes, his hand still resting on Thor's shoulder, then gave Thor a small nod.

"Loki?" Thor asked.

"Thank you for telling me," Loki breathed. "I can't say I understand all of it, but it seems that... neither do you. It sounds like all the secrets lie with my other self. Which means he took them with him to the grave."

Thor nodded, being forced to sniff again.

"I'll do what I can," Loki promised. "We'll get that stupid scepter and then the stupid Soul Stone," he hissed, lifting his hand from Thor's shoulder so he could use it to wipe his eyes. "Then when we have saved the stupid universe… I don't know, but..."

"We'll figure it out," Thor assured with a smile. "I won't leave you behind."

And Loki nodded. "You really won't, huh?" he asked. "Weird."

Thor smiled, a bit defeated, and there was quiet.

"Thor..." Loki then spoke.

"Aye," Thor replied.

"I'm starving, get me some food," Loki demanded.

And Thor chuckled. "Sure," he stated, deeply relieved that at least they had reached a common understanding.

"Also, order some for yourself. You only ate half your food," Loki added before Thor even reached the door. Thor turned to see Loki looking the other way.

Thor smiled, a bit amused. "Of course, is there anything you would like?"

"You've been rather good at picking out food I like," Loki admitted. "I trust you."

Thor halted, just halted, then he couldn't help but smile.

Loki looked at him. "I trust you with picking out food."

Thor chuckled. "Well it's something, I'll take it," he informed, taking a step before he halted.

"Something wrong, Thor?" Loki asked.

"No." Thor shook his head. "I just... When it really matters, you always come through for me, Loki. In the end... I trust you."

"Huh?" Loki asked.

Thor smiled, warmth in his chest. "I trust you," he repeated, the warmth spreading. "I actually, really do... Get some rest, Loki, I'll find something." And finally he stepped through the door, closing it behind him as he sighed deeply, for the first time in a while feeling honestly hopeful.