Chapter Two
I'm a not so Charming Snake Charmer
Walking up to the snake prison I was filled with nervous excitement and wonder. I might just have my first experience with magic soon . . . stage 1 of my genius plan to become a supervillain (gain superpowers) was soon to be underway, stage 2 would involve me finding an evil lair. At one of the stages (though I don't know what number yet) involves me evilly taking control of the worlds juice supply, so that every one will have surrender to me so that they don't go insane from juice depravation. My plan although vague was genius, if I do say so myself!
I was circling around the reptile house on the hunt for a boa constrictor, no The Boa Constrictor, when I came across a very sad looking python. "Mr. Python why are you sad?" I asked in parseltongue . . . I think.
"Why how dare you! That's Lady Python to you! I am most definitely a female and I do have a name thank you very much! My name is Lady Forrester. Filth!" The most definitely female python replied angrily.
"Why I'm sorry Lady Forrester Filth. I meant you no offense!"
"Don't get smart with me, brat! You most certainly did mean it! You just called me filth! Why any other speaker would be honored to speak with such a sophisticated individual such as myself!" Here she rose up a couple of feet so that I now had to look up at her. I feel that she would have done a hair flip if given the option. "But all will be forgiven if you set me free."
I looked at her incredulously. "What?"
"You heard me."
"You want me to set you free?" I asked her. "How?"
"You must have magic. You are a speaker after all."
I was about to reply when a shout distracted me. "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!" Oh, crap. Curse you Spare Pokadot!
"Out of the way, you," Said Dudley as he trampled me with this giant elephant feet.
"Ouch!" Says I.
"OI! RUDE AND NOT GINGER!" Exclaimed Lady Forrester disapprovingly.
"I is a snake!" Said random background snake number eleven.
That is when all hell broke loose, and when I say all hell broke loose I mean every reptile in that godforsaken reptile house escaped. Every. Last. One.
Pandemonium reigned supreme. Everyone was trying to get out of there at once. Children were crying, women were screaming, men were yelling, snakes were hissing loudly about freedom, the zoo staff were running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to keep the reptiles from escaping. Chaos.
I laughed. This was the most fun I'd had in a very long time.
Posted: August 1, 2019
