Chapter Three
Rat Face McGee is a Blabbermouth
Everyone was completely baffled as to where the glass went, and as to how it went missing. Well, everyone except me.
The zoo suspecting Foul Play ended up calling the police who after asking everyone a few questions and reviewing security footage of the incident were also baffled.
Since there was no evidence that anyone present had caused the mass breakout, or that the enclosure had been tampered with, (although there had been tense moment when I was under the intense gaze of the officer in charge, and another one he gave me a knowing look,) the police promised to investigate it further and let everybody leave.
In the car Dudley was still in a state of shock and blubbered on about how he was nearly squashed to death, and how a venomous rattlesnake nearly bit his heel, (I saw said rattlesnake on the other side of the room chilling by the way,) soon after Dudley's monologue Rat Face McGee opened his big fat trap, "Harry was talking to the snakes, weren't you Harry." Sheet. "He even laughed when they were set loose. Didn't you Harry."
That got Vernon's attention.
"I have odd coping mechanisms," I said in a small voice.
After Mrs. Polkiss picked up Tattle Tale McGee Vernon who was turning an alarming shade of purple turned to me apparently so angry he could hardly speak, "Go- cupbourd- stay- no meals."
As I sat in the darkness with the abyss calling my name I pondered my time here in the realm of muggles and magic and concluded that Vernon's face turns a passing shade of Twilight Sparkle when he is angry.
When the long punishment was over, I was no closer to figuring out how to take over the juice supply of the world than I was before I was imprisoned. Which is quite distressing really, I may need to adjust my plans...
The summer holidays started.
I spent a lot of time hiding from Dudley's gang. Dudley's gang consisted of five individuals: Dudley, Spear, Denise, McElroy, and Ramsey, who all seemed rather interested in playing a prolonged game of tag . . . with them all being It . . . and me not being It. Which sucked.
Time passed slowly. The Dursley's all seemed to think that I would be attending a school called Kidney Stone High the local public school, whereas Dudley was accepted to Smellings a school that Vernon used to attend. Ratty McGee was also attending Smellings. I of course had a different path.
One day Dudley who was chortling at the thought of Kidney Stone High said, "They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Kidney Stone," only he kept saying Stonewall for some reason, "want to come upstairs and practice?"
This is one of my favorite parts of the first books and I was determined to quote word for word Harry's response. "You're a wanker," I said. Then I ran, laughing manically as I did so.
Nailed it.
Posted: August 6, 2019
