"Thor… Be honest. You didn't sleep at last night, did you?" Loki asked, seriously looking Thor in the eyes.
They were in Thors chambers, Thor looking pretty destroyed, deep bag under his eyes as he was sitting on his bed.
Thor sighed deeply. "No." he admitted. "It…. The pain keeps me up, when-ever I am just about to fall a sleep. There's this pain going through my arm waking me up."
Loki sighed as he knelt down beside Thor, his hands touching Thor damaged arm… Lokis hands were cold. It felt really nice on the arm. "Eir has offered you pain killers, has she not?" he asked.
"I do not dare." Thor admitted. "I lost myself to the bottle ones… I took to the bottle because it did indeed numb my pain. And then I just weren't able to stop… This pain is not going away, I must learn to live with it."
"If you can't even sleep you wont be living for long." Loki sighed deeply. "I… Will you allow me?" he asked.
Thor looked at Loki then nodded. "I trust you brother." he stated.
"This will feel slightly strange." Loki informed placing both his hands on Thors arm, it felt so nice… cooling. Then a numbness spread, Thors eyes widened.
"What… What are you doing?" Thor asked as his arm seemed to grow heavy and then… He didn't like it.
Loki looked up. "How does it feel now?" he asked.
"Now… I can't even feel it!" Thor exclaimed. "I can't feel anything, my hand or fingers!"
"That was the point." Loki blinked. "You should be able to sleep now yes?"
"This is worse than the pain." Thor gasped. "please make it stop."
Loki tilted his head. "Thor… This spell is not permanent at all. If I do nothing it will go away in a couple of hours regardless. I can take it back with a snap. But… You need sleep. This is a good way yes?" he asked. "You wont have to take to a pill or a bottle, and you will be able to sleep."
Thor swallowed, it was hard to argue against that.
"I'll have to put it on every evening of course." Loki sighed.
"You… You'll do that?" Thor asked.
Lokis red eyes looked up at Thor, then gave him a slight nod.
"Thank you." Thor breathed. "I don't know what..."
"Don't say anything." Loki asked. "I am actually glad... That you need my help. No that sounds wrong." he quieted.
"Loki?" Thor asked.
"You know, seeing you out there in the court yard. It really made me feel ashamed of myself." Loki admitted. "You were being beaten around, people were looking, some were even laughing… But you just continued and I was in my room. Sometimes I part way convinced myself you were putting on a show just to make yourself look good… Of course that was ridicules. You are honest beyond all reason. And that realization just made me even more mad. I wanted to be mad at you, but I was just mad at myself. Sorry." he muttered.
"There's no need." Thor assured. "It can't be easy for you… Being literately the only one in the entire realm looking like you do. You really stick out now. It can't be easy to be unable to go anywhere without everyone noticing and then the talking. I don't know if I could even handle that myself."
"Well… It has its challenges." Loki admitted.
"How are people treating you?" Thor asked in a kind voice. "I know they are always respectful when I am with you but… That's never the entire picture. What is it like when I'm not there?" he asked.
"Well… It honestly depends, people sure are different." Loki commented. "Some people accuse me of trickery, that I somehow tricked myself into becoming prince… It's not my fault Odin decided to pick me up and then hide my origin!"
"No, obviously not." Thor shook his head.
"Others are very kind and understanding, quick to stand up for me. And even thank me for what I did." Loki sighed. "Then there are the ones saying me giving away my Aisir guise is the same as me spitting on the All fathers gift…. And there are those whom says it was wrong I ever had to hide at all. Those last ones seems kind of pretentious." he admitted.
Thor smirked.
"It's a bit weird, everyone I talk to seem to take it different." Loki sighed deeply. "Some treat me differently while claiming that isn't the case, some apologizes to me for treating me differently at all. Then there are those... Whom really don't treat me any different, at all. You know, Tyr! He was always on my case back in the day for being a trickster! You know what he said to me?"
"No. What did he say?" Thor asked.
"He looked right at me! Right in the eyes and then he said... White skin or blue skin. If you try to hide my weapons again, I will still spank you myself. Just like back then." Loki stated and Thor chuckled. "I really used to hate that man, right now he is one of my favorite people." Loki admitted.
"Tyr is stubborn, he would never change his attitude towards anyone unless they truly did something to earn his respect or ire." Thor smirked.
Loki shook his head, then continued more quietly. "I like the children best." He admitted. "It's weird, you know… When they look at me, it is not with confusion nor distrust at all. Not even fear… They are curious. It's a bit annoying that they want to try and touch me but… I don't know. The children are nice. Their questions are so simple but honest, and they are not afraid of asking them. It's kind of fun talking to them."
Thor smiled softly. "That's good."
"My magic changed to." Loki then finally confided in Thor. "Some is… Different. As I said, I can't shapeshift into certain forms anymore. And… Casting glamours to look like an Asgardian or Midgardian is so much more taxing. I used to be able to do it freely, and keep the appearance nearly infinitely. Now… I need to concentrate, and after thirty minutes my reserves are just to spend already."
Thor looked seriously at Loki, taking it all in.
"How-ever… Something else came to me." Loki admitted.
"Oh?" Thor asked.
Loki held out a hand, his palm upwards and then… Something formed, started to collect and suddenly he was holding what looked like a flower, made purely of ice.
Thors eyes widened. "That's.." he gasped. "That's beautiful." he stated.
"I practiced trying to make these more delicate works." Loki admitted. "The detailed works are harder… It is not difficult at all to just make a giant ice block."
"Oh." Thor blinked. "How much ice can you make?" he asked.
"Dunno." Loki shrugged. "I kind of froze my entire chambers over and I didn't feel any change in my reserves at all…. Now unfreezing all of it. That I haven't figured out yet." he admitted.
Thor chuckled. "Well hope you weren't freezing when you had to sleep."
"Actually it felt nicer that way." Loki admitted.
"Ah." Thor realized.
"The light hurts my eyes sometimes, it can be kind of bright." Loki then admitted.
Thor nodded. "Jotnar are creatures of darkness." he sighed deeply. "If there's something I can do."
"I know." Loki assured. "But well… If you can handle that arm, surely I can handle this." he stated. "I'm not going to loose to you."
Thor smirked amused, if that was what helped Loki through it, then he was honestly just happy, so he shook his head. "You though are helping me from now on with the arm so I can sleep!" Thor pointed out. "So it's only fair I help you if I can."
"That's a good point." Loki admitted. "Well, if I think of something. I'll be sure to tell you." he assured. Then he quieted. "Father still hasn't woken up..." he breathed.
Thor was quiet, it had been weeks now… They had never tried it being so long before. And even though Thor had lived in a reality where Odin was dead. It still laid heavy in him.
"Thor… What happens if… If he doesn't wake up?" Loki asked.
"Well." Thor looked up. "Then Hela would be released and we would be in real deep shit!"
Loki was stunned into quiet.
"Looks to me those ice powers of yours has potential." Thor stated. "I'm very weak right now, you're the strongest warrior in Asgard. Congratulations Loki." he clapped Loki on the shoulder.
"I… I don't like the sound of that." Loki admitted wide eyed. "In fact I hate it."
"Sorry." Thor sighed. "I... I'm afraid I am rather weak right now and I..." he shivered slightly. "I am scared, that I shall never regain my former strength. Still, I must try." he stated. "If I don't push forward I... " he closed his eyes. "You didn't see me, in the other timeline. I was a mess, pathetic. I... I can't allow myself to end up like that again. I have to... I must." he swallowed. "I am depending on you more than I should Loki. Forgive me."
Loki shook his head. "No... It gives me a reason to push forward as well." he stated. "It's good to know, you make it look so easy. But it's not, is it?" he asked.
"No." Thor admitted. "It's hard... Really hard."
There was quiet.
"I... Often wish to stay in my room and not wander outside. I often fear people will finally see and realize, I am not that golden hero they desire for me to be. I am weak, and often I fear that they see it, and make fun of it. I fear I will never be as strong as I were, I will never live up to their expectations I am just... Not a golden prince." Thor sighed deeply. "But then, I think of you. And what you have given up and I find that if you can go on, I can as well! I will not just rot and leave you. I must press forward. I must."
Loki nodded. "I see... I think I understand now." he stated folding his hands in his lap.
"I… Think I am going to sleep now." Thor admitted. "I am so tired."
"Of course you are, you didn't have a single night of full sleep since you were released from the healers room did you?" Loki asked.
"Caught me." Thor admitted as he laid down. "Loki, would you mind stay a few minutes?"
Loki shook his head. "All right, until you are a sleep then." he stood up, only to move to a chair and then pulled out a book from his pocket dimension, elegantly holding it.
Thor smirked. "Thank you." and he laid down, for ones without pain. He was panicking slightly as he couldn't feel his arm, but then the sound of Loki turning a book page calmed him, he could sense Loki there, and finally. Thor drifted off to sleep.
