Chapter 4: A Pair of Pairs
It was decided that they would have as civil of a discussion as possible. Raven and Weiss sat on one side of the kitchen table and Qrow and Winter sat on the other. His sister was leaning back in her chair, perhaps just seconds away from kicking up her feet, and Weiss was sipping away at a second cup of tea.
On the other side was Qrow, dragging a hand through his dark hairs. Winter wasn't exactly there - she was just a video feed on his scroll for now - but the representation was what was important. He would handle Raven and she would handle her own sister.
"So this is the woman that has my brother's heart in a bind," Raven's head tilted to turn back to him.
Breathe in, breathe out. "Does Tai even know you're here? And what are you even here for?"
"Of course not. He left one of the windows open so I flew in." Her eyes settled on Qrow. "Besides, I heard some good news for my little brother. Didn't think you had it in you."
"I assure you he has nothing worthwhile in him," Winter crackled through. The connection was hailing from Atlas, after all. "Maybe the liquor he consumes, but nothing else."
"Cut to the chase, Raven. Why do you, of all people, so suddenly care about me getting married?" With a loud scrape of the chair leg, he pushed himself back and put his feet on the table. Better to get the real estate first before Raven did. "You obviously have something to gain, don't you?"
"Not as much as our tribe stands to benefit." Her head tilted back, her black locks framing her like a wild peacock. "Why don't you tell the two of them what we've brokered, Weiss?"
"Brokered. Of course. Because the SDC is now willing to employ bandits. Just perfect." If the signal was a little better, he was sure he could probably hear her eyes roll through the air waves.
Weiss took a sip of her tea before starting. Fffffp. "Raven is more interested in sustaining the tribe than meddling in any deals to try and control the company. More importantly, this opens up a trade opportunity that the SDC has actually been looking to acquire for some time." Her eyes traveled between him and the screen. "One of the biggest losses that the SDC deals with on a yearly basis is the loss of dust during transportation. Raven has offered to lend protective services for our trains that are running through the Mistral area."
"Weiss," Winter's voice came through his scroll again, "these are bandits. I am willing to believe that they are heavily responsible for the loss of cargo."
"Yeah, it's like a bully asking you for protection money. You're paying them so they don't beat up on you. And when I say they," Qrow pointed a finger at Raven, "I mean her. I've been clean since Beacon."
"Oh, I'm so very sure that your missions are just the most saintly of endeavors, Qrow."
Fffffp. "That might be so, but you're not looking at the bigger picture. By allying with them, we could still look at an overall net gain by having them make sure no one else gets at our dust. No raids from rival tribes, less Grimm attacks, and an increased profit since the dust, oh, I don't know, actually reaches its destination. And we don't have to send another shipment or fix rails, resulting in a reduced maintenance cost in the long run."
Raven crossed her arms, looking into his eyes. "The Branwen Tribe is looking sing a different tune, now, and what Weiss has offered is a more sustainable approach. I think you'd be happy to know that we have plans to walk the straight and narrow."
"And in addition," Weiss chirped in, "the SDC is also happy to provide health and wellness benefits that are very competitive, of which Raven was very happy to secure. And now that I think about it," her eyes turned to him. "You're also a Branwen and thus also under my employ now. If you ever need help with your drinking problem, we have an Employee Assistance Program that can-"
His legs were off the table and his hands slammed down as a replacement. "I do not have a drinking problem."
(Winter, on the other hand, was very glad that her hangover had worn off by now. Except that a new headache was beginning to stem from an unusual source.)
"Hmph, whatever," Weiss dismissed him, "We're digressing from the topic of your marriage."
A terse reply shot out from the scroll. "We are getting it annulled, you boob. We were both unaware that it was in motion and were unable to stop it until after we returned from our duties. I'm surprised you would actually think I would stoop so low to agree to this."
"Mhm. Duties," Raven had the most devilish look on her face, like she was in the know, but deeper. "Funny that you would both be unavailable. Are the two of you hiding something from your most dearest siblings?"
"Look who's talking, Raven. Gone for a bunch of years and then suddenly back in the house?" If he could, he would have broken the table in half. But he would probably be eating dinner off of it later, so that would be a bad idea.
Finally, though, she huffed. Crossing her arms, Raven leaned over the table to look at Qrow in the eye. "Whatever. At the end of the day, the deal's done and settled. The Branwens are going to play bodyguard for the Schnee's toys. But I need you to help make sure that relations are good with the company. We've been looking for a nice way to break into the public realm, and this contract, as good as it is, is only for a year. So do your family a favor and play nice."
Winter's voice snapped out, louder than before. "I assure you that playing nice is the last thing we'll do. Why does your employment hinge upon our sham of a marriage anyway? Wouldn't the results of your work be the warrant for whether or not your contract is renewed?"
"Now look here-"
Before anything else left her mouth, the front door opened, and all eyes snapped to it as Tai walked in. "Weiss, Raven, I got us some pizza and-" his body became stiff as soon as he knew he stumbled into a boiler room. "Oh. Hey."
Qrow's eyes stung with hot murder and rage as he swiveled back to his sister. "I thought you said Tai didn't know you were here."
In a flash his sister was in motion. Facing away from the table, her blade was already opening up a red portal to Nowhereland. "Shut up and marry the Schnee woman!" were the last words she left them. With a quick dash, her form was absorbed, leaving nothing behind.
"You all start next Monday!" Weiss yelled, right as the portal disappeared.
Eyes closed. Count to ten. Breathe. Breathe.
Eyes open and observe.
Weiss seemed to have remained perfectly still, draining the last of her tea as Tai slowly set the aforementioned pizza down on the table. Their eyes met, and Tai began to talk.
"Okay, Qrow," Tai set the pizza down in front of them. "I know this looks really bad. But I promise that everything will make more sense once we settle down and dig into this." He opened the box, "Look, it's even got your favorite topping, sausage!"
Hands met forehead. "Tai, that's Raven's favorite."
Winter hung up the moment that the conversation was no longer fruitful. Technically, that would have been as soon as possible. But she wanted to at least make it clear to Weiss that this whole marriage thing wasn't going to work out. She doubted that she was effective, however.
All this made her want to just have another night of drinking and forget everything. But then that meant that she might have a drinking problem, and she would never admit to that. Not when she was sure that Qrow drank more than her on a daily basis.
Great. Just great. She had the whole Branwen Tribe to deal with. She hoped that Raven wouldn't end up rallying the group to have them all send letters and petitions to have her be nice to Qrow for the sake of a paycheck. But it could happen.
"Hmph," she scoffed as she leaned back in her chair. "Shut up and marry the Schnee woman, huh." At every turn it was as if everyone just wanted them to be married. Whether it was for love or benefits, only Qrow really wanted to stop it all from happening.
But suddenly, as if a light at the end of a very long, very dark, very winding tunnel, her scroll rang. The darkest dredges of her soul wanted her to leave it alone, to figure it out later. But the caller called again, and she answered. Winter didn't recognize the number, but she recognized and appreciated tenacity. Sometimes.
"This is Winter."
"Oh, good, you're there." It was the lawyer. "I thought I had called at an… amorous time or something."
"I will pretend I did not hear that description."
"It's not the first time I've called out to a client only to catch the two parties in the process of making up."
"Please stop."
"Right, yes, sorry," the lawyer cleared their throat. "Well, the reason why I'm calling is because there's something I need to check. You, Winter, are naturally a citizen of Atlas, is that correct?"
"Of course."
"Good. And Qrow? Do you know from what nation he hails from?"
"Isle of Dumbasses."
"Can you confirm that? Do you have a birth certificate you have access to?" The lawyer's voice was far more sincere than she would have ever expected.
"I wish. In reality he's most likely from another area. I think I've seen Mistral on his profile, but I can't be sure."
"Well, as long as it's not Atlas, then we're in luck. We have a way that might help you annul the marriage."
Her back had never been straighter.
"Tell me. Now."
A/N: Eyyyyy! Been a little while, but it's back. I was scared I wrote myself into a bit of a corner and had to do something serious in this not-so-serious fic. But I'm glad I was able to at least do something that was at least semi-humorous.
Not too much to say about the plot, though. But we've gone ahead and met all of the family (except Jacques and Whitley, though I'm not sure if I'll involve them), so it's time to move onto the next part - dealing with the problem.
Reviews!
Acerman: The time is coming. You will know soon...
AFatFlyingWhale: Glad you gave it a shot! And you're right - though I love Qrowin, this isn't really about them getting together. Hopefully this continues to be enjoyable for you!
Konstantinsen: When I wrote it, me neither lol. I was sorta just doing whatever the heck I wanted at the time - I knew how I wanted the fic to end, but just now so much about the early middle lol.
hypernova2718: YEE - glad it was still fun. I'm never sure if the humor is a little too dull, but I just have to keep checking and balancing.
merendinoemiliano: Indeed :3
Anyway, thanks for enjoying this so far! Here's hoping to seeing some Qrowin interaction in V6, and I'll see you all soon.
Beta'd by ImSoAwesome
