C19: Looking through your eyes
Sitting Sean AND Jane down was the easiest part of the conversation. Explaining the past life stuff...was another matter.
Surprisingly, they sat in quiet silence as they listened, not interrupting with one, 'don't be so stupid' or 'joke's over now'.
In fact, the only thing that Sean said after they spoke was how it all made sense.
"Well...that explains my dreams and the strange recognition with you," he looked between the two, contemplating and absorbing what he had been told.
Who they were to him and who he was.
"I'm surprised you're not freaking out too much," Den dusted a glass with a tea-towel as she thought over when Anders had confronted her about the 'visions', "I almost had a nervous breakdown when Anders asked me about everything."
"Maybe it's just the shock factor hasn't kicked in," he couldn't help but smirk, even though his mind was a little confused at that moment, "I'll probably be drinking some Jameson to myself later. Expect a phone call tomorrow morning."
"Past life confirmation and hangovers are no excuse to miss work," she smirked back at him and for the first time since she'd known him, looked him in the eye, and took in everything about him.
His deep, brown eyes. His slightly scruffy beard that she insisted he kept since it attracted a few of the older ladies at breakfast. His cheeky grin and the little dimples in his cheeks.
It was definitely Kili. Dru had practically crowed with delight when they first began to explain and provided images and memories of her 'brother'.
The only hitch in the explanation and story was Anders weighing in and being convinced that Kili was his brother.
But then, if they both believed that...would that have made them siblings?
The thought didn't sit well with Den at all.
"Are you alright, Jane?" Anders got the other's attention and they turned to look at their friend.
Jane was seated at the same table she and Sean had been caught on and was leaning her head on her hand, rubbing at her temples as though trying to will down a headache.
She gave Anders the blankest look in the world.
"I don't know. I'm going to go the same way as Sean and say that I'm in a deep state of shock. Or disbelief. I just," she let out an exasperated huff of air and shut her eyes, "I can understand the past life, Den. I'm open-minded but this...this is a lot. Like...A LOT, a lot!"
"I know, Jane. It's a big mess and I know you're hesitant to believe everything straight off the bat but...remember, you were the one who tried to convince me what I was seeing was another life. It's just...you were right. And these two happened to have been in the same life as I did."
"I know. And I know I'd sound awfully hypocritical if I denied everything you guys were telling me. So," she took a deep breath before looking up at her friend and giving her a small, reassuring smile, "I do believe you. I have. But...you gotta' give my brain time to process this. I think I need a drink."
"Well, since I'm here and ruined your evening," she finally allowed herself to see the funny side of catching the two of them 'at it' in the pub, "I can mix you up a cocktail. How about 'forget-me-not'?"
"The one that makes you forget the night's events?" When Den nodded, Jane grimaced, "No thanks. I've seen the effect that has on the person that drinks it and I'd rather not be vomit in the next hour."
"Suit yourself. But...if you want to talk, we can talk? I'm right here," she smiled warmly at Jane and that's when her friend realised something.
"I meant to ask, why did you come back? You sounded upset earlier and I said I could handle it."
Den hesitated for a moment but decided to tell Jane. She was her best friend after all.
"Manny...he found me. He followed me and Anders when we were at the park. He's been...watching us for a while, apparently."
Jane looked momentarily horrified before her worry and concern took over. She got up and immediately went over to Den, pulling her friend into a tight hug.
"Honey, why didn't you say anything?!" Jane kicked herself for not fathoming out sooner that Manny had been the one to graffiti the pub all those weeks ago, "Shit, I would have come straight over to see you!"
"Nah, you needed to stay with the pub," Den pulled back slightly and Jane scoffed.
"I know you love this place, but when it comes to your safety and sanity, the pub can go fuck itself," Jane gave her one of those looks that actually made her friend laugh. That seemed to be her superpower.
"So, what do we do now?" Sean clapped his hands together and lent his mouth on his knuckles, deep in thought.
"Well, for the future?" Anders folded his arms across his chest and pursed his lips, "We should definitely bring you guys along to Ingrid and Olaf. They can both determine and help see your past. And for tonight?"
"I think...tonight is over for me," Den just managed to stifle a yawn by rubbing her jaw, though it didn't fool anyone, "I don't know about you lot, but I'm bloody knackered."
Saying their goodbyes and promising to talk more the next day, the two couples parted, Sean, promising to take Jane home and keep an eye out.
Know that she knew Manny was near, Den was grateful for that but didn't want to voice her worries encase it made her friend panic for her own safety.
Once it was just the two of them again, alone in the pub, Den sent Anders up ahead to her flat as she finished tidying and getting ready for the next day.
Truthfully, her excuse for him to 'go and prepare the tea' was just a flimsy excuse. She wanted to be alone for a bit as she tried to relax. She didn't want Anders to see the effect seeing Manny had on her.
She could put on a brave face all she wanted and pretend everything was going to be ok but...she was still terrified. That part of her that no amount of therapy or talking had ever been able to help her quench her fear.
After a few minutes composing herself, switching off the lights, and leaving little 'to-do' notes around for herself in the morning, she moved upstairs and found Anders with the tea ready in her kitchen.
But...she didn't want tea. As she looked at him, she knew the only thing she wanted was comfort.
"Do you want some-" Anders shut up quickly and felt his mouth go dry when she suddenly reached down and yanked off her shirt.
Without breaking eye contact, she took off her trousers, shoes, and socks, leaving herself in only her bra and knickers.
For a few moments, they just looked at one another. Anders's eyes roamed over her body. Her chest heaving up and down.
Because of their earlier intimacy, he knew exactly how she tasted. How she reacted to the way he had touched and kissed her. How he'd sucked on her nipples and she cried out and shuddered against him.
"I know you probably have a lot of questions. And...before you bring up the weird brother thing, I need you to know this," Den broke the distance between them and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, "whilst it would seem our past lives are a little complicated and need explaining, I definitely don't see YOU in a brotherly way, at all."
Anders had almost forgotten about the sibling thing, but as she spoke the reassuring words to him, he knew that whatever was in their past...was in their past.
He loved Den. Despite Fili's memories and the emotional connection he and Dru shared, Anders was sure of that. And he knew that he wanted her. But could he make love to her tonight? He still wanted to wait. Wait until they were out of this complicated mess and everything was sorted for her.
But that didn't mean they couldn't have some fun.
As she pressed her body against his and moved her hands up along his chest and over his shoulders, she smirked.
"How do you see me?"
He felt himself harden and his erection pressed against his boxers, giving her a clear answer before he even spoke.
"Trust me," his hands finally reached out to touch her, his fingers brushing the skin underneath her breasts, "if you knew how I see you, you've probably hit me. Or do something about it?"
She tilted her head slightly, her lips invitingly parted as she whispered, "I'm listening."
A few hours later...
They'd pleasured one another until exhaustion took over and they both collapsed on her bed. And whilst they hadn't made love, they were both satiated and content to lay against one another, sweaty and panting.
But Den did not sleep easily. When she relaxed and trusted herself to drift off, she'd forgotten how powerful her dreams were.
She was alone in the snow this time, the cold biting at her skin as though she were truly there.
But when she looked up at the tower, expecting a monster with pale skin...she saw Manny instead.
He smirked as he looked down at her and spoke in a language that was foreign and alien to her.
But his malice was palpable and his intent was clear.
Unable to tear her eyes away yet again, she watched horror as he lifted up Fili and stabbed him through the back.
She began to sob as his body shook in pain and then, stilled.
And when he fell, she let out that wordless scream.
But she was no longer frozen in fear.
"Fili!" She ran to where he had fallen, tears streaming down her face. She had to get to him. She had to see.
But when got there, she stopped.
And she screamed.
Fili wasn't lying dead in the snow.
It was Anders.
His eyes were opened and blood poured out of his mouth.
"No," she wailed and shut her eyes tight, "no, no, no! Wake up! WAKE UP!"
'Den, wake up! He's alright!'
Den shot up in her bed, drenched in sweat and the familiar tears running down her face. But this time, she remembered her bed companion.
Breathing heavily, she turned herself around and looked down at him.
He was sleeping peacefully, not even her sudden awakening making him stir.
She reached out carefully and traced his jawline.
She felt his warmth. His pulse.
He was alive and safe in her bed.
And when she looked back at her clock and saw that it wasn't even 4 am yet, she found she didn't want to sleep.
But she was more than content to lay next to him and watch him. Feel him move beneath her fingertips.
Just let him sleep peacefully.
But she couldn't know that her close proximity to him was affecting his dreams. Whilst she didn't receive any more visions, he did.
Anders knew this place. He'd seen it before in his dreams. A place that had been made for his family, in a mountain that had never been their true home. But it had always been warm and full of love and life.
But today...it was so cold and dark. It was a winter day and no one had lit any fires or candles.
But he still knew to search for someone. He had to find them.
As he walked along the hallway, his hand splayed out flat along the wall and trailed along.
He had done it since he was a boy...hadn't he?
They used to feel warm and alive. The whole place did.
He allowed his feet to carry him without really knowing where he was going. But his memories did.
He came to a familiar hallway and turned. And then he found the large blue doors and gently turned the handle.
He stepped inside and saw two familiar figures.
A woman with dark, black hair and a full beard was seated by the bed, leaning over a figure.
He stepped closer.
"Mother?" He called out to her, but she did not turn to look at him. She just continued to cry quietly and gaze at the figure on the bed.
When he looked down, he was shocked at the emaciated figure before him. He knew her.
"Dru," he whispered but she did not move. Her skin was ghostly pale and her vibrant hair and rosy cheeks lacked the color he had fallen in love with. Her breathing was labored and her eyes were half-open but she was not there...her gaze was somewhere else.
He knew she was dying.
"I'm sorry," his hand reached out to touch her, shaking as his voice did, "I'm sorry I couldn't get back."
When he finally touched her, she still did not know he was there.
Her skin was as cold as ice.
But she had some strength left in her.
In a broken and sad whisper, she called out.
"Mam...mam, where are you?"
Her mother smoothed her hair back and leaned over her daughter, her tears falling down onto her naked skin.
"I'm right here, sweetheart," Dis began to sob as she pulled her daughter's hand up in her own and pressed a kiss against her knuckles, "I'll not leave you. I'm staying with you, as I promised."
Anders could feel his heart breaking. He felt powerless. There was nothing he could do as he watched Dru fade slowly and his poor mother...his mother, feeling the same way.
"I want to see him again," Dru whispered and for a brief moment, her eyes fluttered fully open. As if...as just for a moment, she could see him.
He leaned as close as he could, his mother not even noticing his presence.
"I'm here," he began to cry earnestly, his hand cupping her cheek, "I'm right here."
But she didn't see him. She looked straight through him, as though he were a ghost.
Her eyes shut slowly.
Her breathing slowed.
Stopped.
She was gone.
"Go to him," Dis said through her sobs, "go and find him, my girl. I hope I can join you both. One day."
She stood fully, pressing one last firm kiss against Dru's forehead.
"Goodbye, sweetheart."
Anders watched his mother pull away, only stopping to tug the covers up her daughter's body...a habit she did to make sure her children slept warm and safe.
And then she turned and left the room, her sobs echoing around him.
Anders was left alone, looking at the face of Dru.
Den.
His hands shook as they moved over her face, her neck. Trying to feel any last semblance of life.
"God, please," he sobbed as he finally collapsed on the bed, his head pressing close to hers, "please, no."
This wasn't his memory. Fili had never returned home and he'd never...he'd never found Dru dying.
He was seeing what she had been through. This was her dream.
Her memory.
"Wake up," he sobbed as he held her, trying to will himself to stop dreaming, "wake up, please!"
He could feel her cold skin against him.
'Anders. She's waiting for you.'
"Anders? Anders, wake up."
His eyes flickered open and he ignored the wet feeling on his face in favour of looking up at the face he longed for.
Den hovered over him, one of her hands stroking his cheek as she looked down at him, worry written over her face.
"Hey, it's alright," she wiped away his tears as best she could, "what's wrong? You're just having a bad dream."
He'd never felt so relieved to have been pulled out of a bad dream.
"I saw you," his hand came up to grab her wrist, pressing her palm firmer against his skin, "I saw...I saw what happened."
He suddenly had a burst of adrenaline and sat up, quickly pulling Den with him.
"What are you-"
"I'm sorry," his tears fell again as he looked into her eyes, his hands grasping her face, "I didn't know. You were so ill and I couldn't do anything."
"What did you see?" Den held onto his shoulders for support as she began to quiver with fright, "please, tell me what you saw."
Anders took his time as he recounted the mountain they had lived in and how he had found her and his mother. As he described her dying state, his hands moved over her and he soaked in her living self.
'She's not dead. She's right here. She's not gone.'
When he finished recounting everything, up until the moment he had woken up, Den suddenly began to cry herself.
He had described that memory perfectly.
The way her mother had cried...she'd heard her.
Even in her dying moments, her mother's sobs had reached her heart and imprinted on her memories.
She'd dreamt about that awful day for so long and it made her feel so alone.
When she shut her eyes, she could see it clearly.
Her mother crying over her, promising not to leave her.
A faint call of 'Fili' and an overwhelming sense of loss she had dealt with for so long.
He was dead. Her family all gone, but Fili...he had been her one true love.
Den could feel every ache and pain inside her heart as though it were the day all over again.
Anders shifted ever so slightly, but she clung to him to keep him near.
"Don't let go," she quivered and held onto him, "just stay like this, for a bit."
Anders did as she asked and just held her in his arms.
Safe. For the moment.
But alive.
"I missed you," she turned her head and rubbed her cheek against the side of his neck, "I missed you so much. My heart...I couldn't handle everything."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, knowing that it was his death that had caused her sickness.
"Oh, God...Oh God, I felt everything. I lost you and...it hurt so much."
When he shut his eyes, he tried desperately to think of a way to fix this. To take her pain away, even if it was for a moment.
And then...he knew it.
If he had been able to see her memory, then she could see his.
And despite all the painful visions they had shared, there HAD been good ones.
"Den, shut your eyes," he whispered against her ear and pulled her tightly against him, making sure their skin was touching in whatever way possible, "trust me and shut your eyes."
When she did as he said, he could still feel her shuddering against him, but he could work with this.
"I want you to see what I can see. It's one of the best days Fili and Dru had together. One of the best days we had. We were outside. It was a warm Summer's day. We were hidden in the tall grass and you sat in between my legs. You said you could smell Lavender."
Den let out a clear exclamation of surprise and he felt her frantic nod.
She saw it. She remembered how Fili's beard had tickled her neck as he kissed her.
How he had playfully rolled her around and they'd been covered in grass stains from head to toe.
How they'd made love in the sunshine and tried to keep quiet.
How right then and there...she'd remembered feeling so alive.
In his arms.
She couldn't...she tried to remember everything, but it would slip away.
But she cherished the happy times she could remember.
"Oh God," she managed to pull away from him, only far enough to look into his face, "I can't lose you again."
"You won't," his forehead pressed against hers and he held her hands over his heart, "I'm not going anywhere."
When she shut her eyes again, she vowed to herself that she wouldn't let anything happen to him again.
That she would keep him safe.
No matter what the cost.
A week later...
The days had been tense for Den following Manny's resurface. It put a strain on her mental wellbeing and she knew it. The only saving light was Anders, her friends and his family.
Each of them would go to work and return immediately to pick the other up, ensuring they always got an Uber or a lift from friends.
It was only temporary as they figured out what to do.
On a Friday, just after lunch, they all gathered in Mike's pub for a 'private party.'
And for the first time in a while, Den's own pub was shut uptight and she didn't plan to open up again until tomorrow morning. Today, she was focused only on Jane and Sean as they agreed to meet up with them all.
And finally, get their 'readings' done by Ingrid and Olaf.
She wasn't going to admit that there was a small part of her that REALLY just wanted to see that happen.
It had been a little enjoyable to watch Ingrid hand out the cards, the tea and grab their palms in her hands, observing what she could in the little lines she found.
Of course, the way Ingrid worked fortunes was very much like a puzzle.
She'd have out all the pieces, lay them the right way up, and have them so it was ready to put together.
Olaf was the one who put them together and then, accidentally spilled his beer on the completed puzzle.
The confirmation from both past 'seers' was that Sean was indeed connected to both Anders and Den's past.
But then, surprisingly, they discovered that Jane was connected also, but only to him.
"I just thought I'd been reading far too many of those trashy romance novels," she said a little shocked, though that did give her an explanation for the dreams AND the strange little flashes she'd put down to day-dreaming.
But Olaf and Ingrid were not finished.
"We've been looking into a few possibilities-" Olaf began off-handedly, but Ingrid quickly interrupted.
"Still researching. There's only so much the internet and books can give you before you have to look into...well, texts in other languages."
"BUT we found a few notes and there-"
"MAY be a way to unlock your memories fully. And that's all we can say."
"But-" Den began but Olaf held up his hand and shook his head.
"If mother says no, keep your fingers out of the cookie jar."
"Mother?" Den mouthed quietly, looking at Anders for an explanation, but he just shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, now that we've tackled one issue," Mike folded his arms across his chest and leaned against one of the decorated pillars, "let's sort out this psycho ex."
"You lot don't have to," Den was still worried about getting the others involved in her dangerous business, "it's my mess. I'm just sorry he hurt Anders."
An arm slipped around her waist and pulled her close.
"And I told you, I'm not letting you do this alone," Anders pressed a quick kiss to the side of her head.
"And wherever my bro' needs help, I'm there," Axl called out, looking around the room at everyone else, "and we were Gods. We dealt with cock-sucker Colin, so this guy is going to be easy as."
"We'll think of something," Olaf said ominously, though he sort of broke the façade of mystery by reaching down and rearranging his balls.
"I'll be right back," Den moved away from Anders and towards the bar, "I left my purse behind the bar and I'm expecting a call from someone who wants to book a party."
As everyone started giving out ideas, Den went around to the quiet section of the bar and fished around in her bag for her phone. As expected, she had a few messages she'd missed.
One from a takeaway, one from the person who wanted to know about booking a party, and...one from an unknown number.
She opened it and the message simply read:
'I'll leave him and his happy little family alone if you come to meet me.'
Underneath that was a postcode and the name of a building she did not recognise.
But she knew who it was from.
She felt hot and sick just thinking that he had her number and he could message or call her whenever he wanted.
But then, this message and invitation...it was her chance.
She needed to keep Anders safe and if she went to him, she knew she'd be putting herself in danger.
But she wouldn't go unarmed.
She just had to wait for a suitable distraction and excuse because she knew that if Anders got any inkling that something was wrong, he wouldn't let her out of his sight.
She slipped her phone back into her bag and tucked it back out of sight. As she moved back around, she noticed the slight glimmer of the knife left out.
Mike had been using it to cut lemons and hadn't bothered to wash it yet.
It was small enough that...she couldn't, could she?
She had to.
Just as a precaution.
Quickly and quietly, she took the knife and slipped it into her bag.
Then, as calmly as she could, she re-joined the others, slipping back against Anders side.
A warm, reassuring hand splayed flat against her lower back.
"All ok with the party people?" He lowered his voice so as not to interrupt the others but she could hear his actual interest.
"I'll deal with it in a bit. Gotta' call them back," she hated having to lie to him, but knew the less she told him, the safer he'd be from danger.
"Where are we going to get a stun gun, Stacey? You can't exactly go out and buy one in the shops," Ty looked over in disbelief at the blonde and Den figured she should REALLY start paying attention to what plans they had.
"We could lure him out?" Axl suggested, his lips pressed into a thin line when he stopped and thought, "Arrange a meeting somewhere quiet, and then all jump him?"
"Manny doesn't go anywhere without an escort. I had a feeling he had friends watching us when we were in the park. Plus, there was a group of guys that helped him corner Anders."
"Yeah, there were about four or five," Anders scrunched his face when he remembered the brutality they'd inflicted upon him, "and they all took a kick. These bastards mean business."
At that moment Dawn, who had previously excused herself to go to the bathroom, came back in and grabbed her large bag.
"Right, you lot are going to have to go on without me and Ty," she seemed calm as she always did, "we're off to the hospital."
"Hospital?" Ty stood up and looked confused as he tried to remember if they had an appointment he'd obviously forgotten about, "Why?"
"Because, darling," Dawn smiled serenely at her husband, "my water broke. So we need to head off home, get the bag and-"
"Your water?!" Ty suddenly realised what that exactly meant and at that moment, so did everyone else.
The room erupted into loud, excited noises and despite her own surprise at the news, Den saw her moment.
"Congrats," she said quickly to Dawn and Ty before pushing Anders forward, "you let me know what I miss. I'm just going to phone back about the party."
Anders, excited at the news he was FINALLY going to be an Uncle, gave her a brief nod and then proceeded forward to hug his little brother.
Den really wanted to stay and watch the joy, but she knew she wouldn't get another opportunity.
She grabbed her bag, pretended to make a call on her phone, and left the bar. As soon as she was outside, she lowered her phone to tap a message to Manny.
A quick reply.
'I'll be there.'
She knew the address well enough. She walked the short distance and called for a taxi.
When it arrived, she took one moment to look back at the pub that seemed so full of life and happiness.
'Sorry everyone, this is something I need to do.'
'We need to do. Let's go and get this bastard.'
A short ride later...
When Den hopped out of the taxi and turned towards the large apartment complex, she wasn't surprised that it was one of the most expensive ones.
She'd been expecting a show and of course, Manny wouldn't disappoint.
She made her way inside the building, through the large blue doors and as soon as she came to the elevator, there was a man to press the button for her.
He said not a word and as she stepped inside and the doors shut, she quickly checked her purse.
The knife was there and there were no messages on her phone. Her heart was beating something fierce when the doors opened.
She exited and was greeted by another of his lackeys who smirked and gestured for her to head down the hallway.
It was easy to know where she was going.
Even before she reached the door, another man pulled it open and held it for her.
She didn't say thank you, nor even acknowledge him. Her focus was on the sole occupant of the richly decorated apartment she was walking into.
"I'm glad you could make it."
If her glare could kill people, Manny would have been dead in a second.
As soon as the door shut behind her, she knew that was it.
She had walked willingly into the Lion's Den, with a very hungry lion.
Meanwhile...
"Uncle Axl!" Axl raised his glass into the center and waited for the others to join, "At bloody last!"
All the other males of the Johnson brood raised their glasses, minus Ty who had run off excitedly with Dawn, looking every bit the expectant, nervous father.
"Well, Ty's gone, Mike, you're next," Anders smirked as he chugged down his beer, but his elder brother just threw him a look.
"Technically, Axl is on the list. He's been with Gaia longer."
"What?!" Axl let out a little giggle, "Me, a dad?!"
"I can't picture that. No, wait," Olaf laughed as he shut his eyes, "I see Axl...crying with the baby...one shitty nappy having exploded all over the floor."
Anders was laughing his arse off when he felt it.
A strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
He turned around as though expecting someone to be there and then, it dawned on him.
'Something's wrong.'
Anders suddenly felt sick. He turned back to the joyous group and asked the question he dreaded.
"Where's Den?"
