I was going to hold off but I've got three POV's coming back to back. Enjoy.

Rose Hathaway

I ran out of the house and lifted my face to the sky. I could feel the heat of the sun beating down on my pale skin but I welcomed it… I could still hear Dimitri's screams of agony from inside the house but the walls muffled it. Though the screaming inside my head replayed like a favourite song on repeat making it impossible to escape the truth threatening to suffocate me.

I had tried to stay with him but in the end, it was best that I leave.

Dimitri had begged me to go, not to watch, but I'd been stubborn and refused to stay. I'd stood by the bed but couldn't bring myself to reach out and take his hand. Dimitri tried not to scream at first but the moment the surgeon began to cut away the burnt flesh his back had bowed and he'd gripped the sides of the mattress until his knuckles had gone white.

He was moving too much but the surgeon couldn't sedate him. Men were brought in and made to hold Dimitri down as the surgeon continued his work. My eyes locked with Dimitri and my knees almost buckled beneath the emotion in his eyes… I'm not sure what he saw in mine but it was enough for him to summon Matthew and tell him to get me out of the room.

Matthew made the mistake of grabbing my arm and almost losing it. He'd held up both hands and cautioned that he wasn't going to hurt me. Jace stepped between us and held out his hand. I'd been about to tell him to go to hell too when he dropped his head and caught my gaze. "You don't need to see this, Sweetheart." His eyes pleaded with me to take his hand. "No man wants his girl to see him in this state."

"I've seen worse," I argued. "I can handle it."

"I have no doubt that you can," Jace continued taking a step towards me. "Please."

"Ma'am." The surgeon pleaded his gloved hands raised with a scalpel in one hand. "Please, just go. I can't do my job if your fiancé is concerned about you."

I took in the scene once more before I left the room. Dimitri was being pinned to the bed by three men twice his size holding his arms and legs down as the surgeon worked to remove the crispy blistering black skin along his ribcage. Dimitri's face was swollen and purple/black from his beating but I could see the tears sliding down his cheeks as he threw his head back against the pillow.

I walked out of the room ignoring the outstretched hand. The moment I was out in the hallway the doctor returned to his task and the screaming picked up again.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Unable to form words I shook my head and squeezed my eyes closed. I felt him close the distance between us and when his hand touched my shoulder I felt my knees give beneath me. "Let go."

I can't! I wanted to scream at him but it was too much. I couldn't breathe and at that moment I was drowning again, but it wasn't water that filled my lungs. It was the agony of being alive. The face of every girl I'd sacrificed by denying Augustine flashed through my mind, and the list of names scratched into the walls of my old cell, and Thomas… Thomas had sacrificed himself for me, for us.

The worst of it though was the sick truth that came while I watched Alistair torturing Dimitri… The utter helplessness of not being able to help him but also not wanting too, because some sick twisted part of myself wanted him to suffer too. It was the anger and hatred mixed with the fear and shame and more fighting it's way up and out of my throat. I imagined that the sound that escaped my lips rattled the ground and shook the trees sending the birds fleeing from the forest surrounding the safe house.

"Feel it." That broken voice begged from inside. "I can't!" I screamed my nails digging into Jace's arms as he attempted to hold me together. "I can't-!"

"Yes, you can." Jace tightened his arms around me unflinching as I marked him. "You're Rose fucking Hathaway- you'll survive this, I know you can. Do you hear me? I know you can."

It'd been a week since my meltdown in the backyard of the safe house. The backyard had swarmed with guards thinking we were under attack but when they realized it was just the unstable fiancée of their boss they brought a doctor into treat me. I'd have welcomed the darkness that the sedative would have provided- I'd even begged for it though it never came.

"No." Jace had refused the sedative. "No drugs."

"Please."

"No," Jace repeated tightening his arms around me. "You cannot hide from this, Sweetheart. You have to feel it or you're of no use to anybody." I'd said something similar to Leigh. "I'll give you anything but I will not help you medicate yourself into feeling numb."

"Please."

Jace had held me and endured my screams, nails, and even fought me when I became violent. My pride, what was left of it, was sure that if I hadn't just been tortured and nursing a few broken bones I'd have kicked his ass but a week later and I wasn't so sure it was just my injuries.

I'd mentioned it to Dimitri a few days later. "The man is a mystery wrapped inside of a mystery, Roza. I'm not sure we'll ever know everything about him."

A knock sounded on the door behind me but I didn't turn away from the window. "Come in." I heard the door open and close followed by the light footsteps. I turned unsurprised to see Amelia standing in front of me wearing red scrubs with her signature black leather jacket. "I wasn't sure you'd come."

"You asked for my help." Amelia attempted a smile though it didn't reach her eyes. "And I'm here."

"Thank you." Her eyes widened just the tiniest bits as if she wasn't expecting it. "Where is Leigh?"

"With Dimitri." Amelia shifted uncomfortably. "She's sober… I still don't agree with how you handled things with her but it all turned out for the best."

"Regardless of how it turned out; I was wrong to handle it the way I did," I admitted unable to meet her gaze as I said it. "I-I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to apologise too." Amelia reached out and took my hand forcing me to look at her. "How are you?"

"I forgot how much cold turkey detoxing sucks," I admitted bitterly.

"It's probably for the best," Amelia admitted taking a seat next to me on the bed. "One of Dimitri's people mentioned you were doing acupuncture to help with the back and withdrawals? Is it helping?"

"A little," I confessed. "It's a mixture of acupuncture, herbs, ice baths, and meditation." I hesitated to turn my head to look at her. "You're probably wondering why I asked you to come?"

"It crossed my mind."

"Our surgeon needed to return to his practice… I wasn't a fan of his but Dimitri's people brought him in specifically for Dimitri. I had to let him examine and treat me once but it made me sick to do it- and I-" I struggled to form the words and ended up having to close my eyes so I could say it. "He's a trigger for me." Amelia nodded in understanding as she squeezed my hand whispering that she understood. "I don't trust anybody else, and if I'm honest, I've missed you."

Amelia squeezed my hand. "I'll stay for as long as I can."

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders as I leaned into her. "Thank you."

The first thing Amelia wanted to do was play doctor but after she'd given me a brief examination and cleaned some of my nastier cuts we'd ventured out to find Leigh and Dimitri. The safe house was relatively quiet. "Have you spoken to your family?"

"Briefly. I needed to tell Janine and Sean about Thomas' it wasn't a pleasant conversation to have." I admitted. "Zmey called this morning and said that Sean' had taken off in the middle of the night."

"How is your mother doing?"

"As well as to be expected." I paused outside the room setup as Dimitri's hospital room. He was sitting up in bed without a shirt on and a bandage wrapped around his middle as he played a game of cards with Jace and Leigh. Dimitri smiled when he saw me standing in the doorway.

I forced a smile and entered the room. Leigh stood from the chair next to Dimitri's bed and turned to me with a sheepish smile. "Hi."

"Hi." I felt tears fill my eyes as I reached out and took Leigh into my arms. Her arms wrapped around me and I ignored that twist of my stomach. "I'm really glad you came."

"Ride or die, remember?"