Lissa had lost a lot of blood and died twice while on route to the hospital. Baby Ozera was on oxygen upstairs with her father pacing the length of the room as he waited for news of his wife. I had guards posted at every exit of the hospital and an additional six guards posted outside of Baby Ozera's room. I couldn't protect Lissa but I could make sure that her daughter was safe.

Natalie's brains might've been leaking over the fancy carpeting back at the cottage but my crazy uncle was still on the loose, and I wouldn't put it past him to go after an innocent baby if he thought it'd get him a step closer to my father.

I slipped into the empty stairwell and sank onto the top step. It'd all happened so fast. I went from sitting in the garden with Dimitri ignoring the elephant in the room and avoiding the inevitable to sitting in an empty stairwell covered in my best friend's blood with bits of brain matter stuck to the sole of my boot.

I wrinkled my nose scraping it on the step below me… I stiffened and my hand immediately reached for my gun when I heard the click of the door opening behind me. I released a sigh when I heard Dimitri's voice. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Would it matter if it did?

I immediately felt guilty for the thought. "I just needed a quiet moment." I admitted gesturing to the empty spot next to me. Dimitri hid it well but I could tell that he was in a lot of pain. "You should head to the hotel."

"I will," He groaned favoring his left side… I didn't need to close my eyes to recall the sight of Dimitri suspended by chains in the warehouse as Alistair burnt strips of his flesh along his ribcage. I bit my lip as the memory conjured the stench of the blistered, burnt flesh, and I felt vomit begin to rise in the back of my throat. "I will, once I know that Lissa is okay."

"Okay," I chuckle bitterly as I lift my eyes to the ceiling blinking back the tears.

"What did I say?"

"Nothing," I rolled my eyes and started to stand but he caught my arm. I stilled under his touch but couldn't look at him. "Let me go, Dimitri."

"Why won't you look at me, Roza? Am I not 'pretty' enough for you anymore?" It was a question to get a reaction and it worked. I flinched. Dimitri's laugh was bitter and filled with a promise of pain. Dimitri stood and towered over me in the hospital stairwell gripping my chin and forcing me to look at him. "Look. At. Me. Roza."

I didn't want to see what'd happened to him… I didn't want to feel the sick satisfaction that he was ruined too. The emotion that filled his brown eyes sent chills up my spine as all that rage, love, hate, and resentment was directed at me.

It'd been a few weeks since we'd escaped that warehouse but pieces of him hadn't made it out… Physically he was in one piece but emotionally he was almost as wrecked as I was.

I let my gaze wonder to the rest of his face… When we'd first met he'd had long hair but sometime after my 'death' he'd cut it short and over the last few weeks he'd grown it out and it was at that awkward stage where it continued to fall into his face. He'd threatened more then once to cut it off but never did more then that. It was his way of trying to regain part of what was taken from us.

I ached to reach out and run my fingers through his hair to see if it was as soft as I remembered. The swelling on his face had gone down and the bruises were beginning to change colour and fade. His nose had been broken and reset but it was crooked and sat slightly to the left with a bump in the middle. He'd have a scar on his right brow where he'd been cut but it was healing… The worst of it was the three-inch burn wound on his right cheek; it'd heal but he'd be left with an ugly scar as a reminder.

The scars weren't the problem. I didn't love Dimitri Belikov because he was 'beautiful' or 'looked like a god' I'd loved him for who he was … Before the asylum I'd had a collection of scars that'd been kissed and caressed by the very man towering over me like an angry bull but that was before. AfterI escaped the asylum there wasn't much skin left that didn't bare a reminder of what happened to me.

The problem wasn't Dimitri Belikov, nor was it that I was any less in love with him… The problem was me. Dimitri wasn't ready to accept or couldn't accept that truth of that and continued to push what he believed I needed down my throat.

"What do you want from me?" I couldn't keep the defeat out of my voice nor did I have the strength to try. I was barely holding it together and lack of sleep definitely wasn't helping.

Dimitri and I held each other's gaze for a long time before he spoke. "The truth."

It was a simple request but it wasn't what he really wanted… Nor was it something either of us could handle right now. Dimitri needed this, us, to work to make everything he'd done and been through worth it but he wasn't willing to imagine that I might need something else.

I ran a hand over my face and took a step back and in my head I said- The truth is that you are suffocating me, and I can't think about what I need because you are so busy telling me what I need instead of listening to me.

Instead I said. "Everything is not okay, Comrade. Somewhere in this hospital Lissa is probably dying, and her daughter is in a glass box hooked up to oxygen. Christian is a basket case in the corner imagining life as a single father and becoming a raging alcoholic… They aren't okay… I'm not okay and neither are you… So I'd really fucking appreciate it, if you'd stop forcing us to be 'okay' okay?"

Because the truth is I'm glad you're broken too.

"I'm not an idiot-" I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off. "I'm not an idiot, Roza. None of this is okay, nor will it ever be, but someday it won't be so bad and you're right, Roza. I'm not okay, I'm trying, but it never seems to be enough for you."

I'm not sure what I would have said because Matthew burst through the stairwell door. "Sorry to interrupt but we've got a problem."

I closed my eyes and prayed. Please don't take her, please don't take her. Dimitri turned to face his employee and asked the question I couldn't bring myself to. "Is Lissa alright?"

"Argh; I was told she was out of surgery and being moved to ICU." Matthew answered. "This isn't about Lissa, Belikov. It's about Ibrahim Mazur." I turned around at the mention of my father. "We've lost contact. I called to update him on Lissa's condition but I couldn't get through. At first I didn't think too much of it but when I couldn't get a hold of his people I began to worry. Jace and I have run all the contacts and gotten nothing…"

"What are you saying?" Dimitri snapped.

I was already moving past Matthew and dialing my father's number. Nothing. I looked up from the screen and saw Jace walking towards me with my laptop under his arm. There was an empty exam room and I immediately walked into it with Jace, Matthew, and Dimitri following behind me.

It took a few minutes to get into the database and locate the safe house where my parents were held up. I brought up the surveillance footage and felt my chest tighten as the little screens began to pop up with static… No Signal. There were over thirty-two cameras inside that house and none of them were working.

"Holy fuck," Jace whispered next to my ear.

It took a moment but once I saw it there was no 'unseeing' it. 'No, no, no- I blinked slowly and felt my fingers rolling over the keys as I went back into the database to find previous recordings and went back to the moment the house exploded. 3:13am.

"You don't need to watch this-" Jace began to say.

"You mean well, Jace," I whispered bringing up the interior surveillance footage. "But if you touch me, or my laptop, I'll break your fucking fingers." Sighing loudly Jace took a step back crossing his arms over his chest. I wasn't even surprised when Alistair walked into the living room where my parents, their guards, and other members of staff were all gathered and kneeling on the floor with their hands tied back their backs. "Son of a bitch."

"Do you have audio?" Dimitri asked quietly as he fell into the place behind me.

"No, I don't-NO!" Dimitri clamped his hand over my mouth as I leaned back into his chest as I covered his own hand with mine. No. No. No. I closed my eyes trying to wipe the image from my brain… Pavel was kneeling in front of Alistair and when he'd pointed his gun at him Pavel had spat at his feet and started to speak but whatever he'd started to say was cut off as Alistair pulled the trigger and his head shot back before coming forward again and collapsing face down at his feet.

The bodies started to drop quickly after that… Pavel, Mikhail and Sonya. My friends. My family. One after the other put down like dogs and forced to watch as the man or woman beside them had their brains blown out… Mikhail had looked at his wife right up until the end- and she'd cried softly at first and then screamed as the bullet left the chamber and entered her husband's skull splattering his brains all over her pretty white night grown.

I wondered if she felt the gun as they pressed it to her skull… Her eyes never left her husband and when her body joined his on the floor it landed right beside him with their heads turned toward each other.

And then there were my parents.

I wondered if Death had ever been forced to his knees before…? Why had it never occurred to me to ask? 'It hadn't seemed possible. I didn't need audio to know that he was pleading with Alistair to let Janine go.

Alistair listened to Deaths' pleas and feigned sympathy though had no intention of letting his 'baby sister run off to have Death's spawn. No. Alistair Campbell had one mission – Destroy Abe Mazur and all those he loved.

Suddenly Alistair turned away from Death' and knelt in front of his sister. The resemblance was eerie what with curly red hair and fair skin, blue eyes and unmistakable features that left no doubt that they were related.

Alistair's features were harder, sharper, bulk muscle and pure male whereas Janine's features while sharp were softened by her beauty though there was no mistaking the strength in her petite little body.

Janine didn't beg nor did she cry as Alistair pressed his lips to her forehead. He lingered with Janine only for a moment before he stood and pointed his gun at her forehead though he lowered it at the last second and shot her twice in the stomach.

It took six men to hold Death' down as they forced him to watch. Janine was doubled over screaming as she clutched her stomach. How she held herself up on her hands and knees, I didn't know, but then she lifted her face to look at her brother tears freely falling down her cheeks as she screamed something at him.

There was no emotion in his eyes, nothing to say that he felt remorse for what he'd just done. Nothing. He simply raised his gun again and pulled the trigger one last time… My mother's body jerked back at the force of the bullet entering her skull and she fell onto her back staring up at the ceiling staring into nothing.

The hospital exam room was quiet as we watched Alistair's men release my father as he crawled on his knees to my mother's side. He screamed and struggled to get his hands free- but there was no escaping his fate now. I half believed Alistair would kill him then and there but he didn't wait 26' years to get his revenge just to end it so quickly… His mission wasn't finished yet.

Two men dragged Ivan into the room and forced him to stand in front of Alistair but he didn't really acknowledge his presence too busy basking in his victory over Death.

Dimitri's grip tightened on my shoulders as Alistair walked up behind Death' and grabbed a fistful of his hair forcing him to look at the camera. After Alistair finished taunting my father he forced him to stand and tossed him at several of his guards to take outside.

"What did they do with my brother?"

I brought up the footage of Ivan being thrown into the back of a sedan. "He's alive." For now… I watched the rest of the footage until the explosion and then I closed the laptop and held it out to Jace. "Find him."

"You are going after him?" Jace asked incredulously.

I stood from the stool and turned to Jace… "Of course I'm going after him," I said quietly as I held his gaze. "The son of a bitch just killed my mother, my unborn brother, my friends, and good men and women who have served my father for decades! Sonya raised me after my mother left- Her husband used to drive me to school when my father was away on business! They attended parent teacher nights… I'm not just going to run and hide like a coward while that sick fuck hunts me down!"

"Rose-"

I pulled away from Dimitri's touch as I turned on him. "I swear to god, Dimitri Belikov, if the next words out of your mouth are 'It'll be okay' I'll smack the shit out of you!" I shouted slapping away his extended hand.

"Actually," Dimitri began a sinister grin lifting his lips. "I was going to suggest we find the son of a bitch and kill him." I couldn't help the smile that slid into place as I held Dimitri's gaze and saw the promise of Alistair's death in them.

I sat on the floor of the bathroom wrapped in a towel staring at the bathtub filled with bubbles and steam rising from beneath. I had bottle of wine between my knees and a box of tissues on my lap. After watching the footage from the safe house I'd needed to get out of the hospital before I fell apart in front of witnesses. Dimitri and I would leave tomorrow after I said goodbye to Lissa.

The bubble bath had seemed like a good idea at the time but I hadn't been able to drop the towel. Instead I turned off the water and sank to the floor and opened the bottle of wine and started drinking from the bottle.

I heard Dimitri enter the bedroom and was briefly aware of his presence in the doorway of the bathroom. "Are-"

"I don't want to talk." I told him lifting my gaze to his. "If you want to stay, fine, but we're not going to talk." I returned my gaze to the bubbles and took another swing of the wine. Dimitri stepped into the bathroom and sank onto the tiled floor next to me. He'd taken off his shirt and was cradling his damaged ribs. I handed him the wine bottle and watched him take three long mouthfuls.

The silence lasted for 20 minutes before he asked. "Why aren't you in the tub?"

"The truth?"

"Yes."

"It reminds me of him." I confessed unable to look at him. "A bubble bath," I snorted taking a swing of the wine. "Of all the things he did to me, you wouldn't think giving me a bubble bath would be a trigger… It'd been nice at first. It was the first time I'd been clean in weeks and the scent of the bubbles reminded me the shampoo Sonya used to wash my hair with as a child. It's been nice until it wasn't."

When Dimitri didn't say anything I gathered up my courage to look at him. Dimitri was staring at the bubbles wearing a look of loss. I held out the wine bottle and he took it taking a swing. "I love you, Roza."

I sighed dropping my head to his shoulder and slid my arm through his. "I love you too, Comrade." I felt his lips on my forehead and closed my eyes turning my head just enough that his lips hovered inches from my lips. I opened my eyes and looked up into his brown ones challenging him.

The truth is I still want you.

Dimitri's lips parted and I slid closer deepening the kiss. "Are you-" Dimitri began but I silenced him with a kiss as I straddled his lap ignoring my towel as it slid around my waist. Dimitri groaned sliding his hands around my body, I sighed and pressed our foreheads together. "We can stop."

I squeezed my eyes closed shaking my head. "No,"

His eyes bored into mine. "Tell me what you need."

"I-"

"The truth."

"I don't want to stop," I bit my lip staring down at his bandaged ribs. "Beyond that I don't know." Dimitri lifted my chin and kissed me once, twice, three times biting my bottom lip before sliding his lips across my cheek to my ear. "Comrade?"

"Yes?"

My eyes fluttered closed and I tilted my head to give him access. "Will you have a bath with me?" He pulled back looking into my eyes. "It's just a bath."

The look in his eyes said that it was a lot more then that. I stood but hesitated as I reached for the towel to cover myself but decided to leave it where it sat next to him… I didn't look at him until he was standing in front of me and brushing my hair back behind my ear. "You're still the most beautiful woman in the world to me."

I lifted my gaze to his and saw the sincerity in his eyes… along with the guilt and regret in his eyes. I didn't want him to apologize or look at me like that. I placed my hands on his bare chest and traced the healing scars on his chest. Dimitri's hand covered mine and I tilted my head back to look at him as he leaned down and kissed me again but this time I leaned into his chest and slid my arms around his neck.

I sighed against his lips and knew my entire body was shaking with anxiety of what would happen next… I wasn't sure if it was the bath or being so close to Dimitri. I watched Dimitri as he stepped around me and drained the tub before turning on the showerhead above turning back to me holding out his hand. "Baby steps."

Lissa had been in and out of consciousness all morning. She'd woken up long enough to hold her baby girl before drifting back to sleep; Dimitri and I would be leaving in a few hours to hunt down Alistair and rescue my father.

After our bath last night Dimitri carried me back to our hotel bed and held me as the grief of losing my mother, and friends, people I had known my entire life hit me. He didn't force me to talk, and didn't tell me it'd be okay, he just held me and made me feel safe despite everything we were facing.

This morning we'd eaten breakfast and discussed arrangements for our mission. Dimitri and I were going to rescue Abe, and we were going to kill Alistair for what he'd put us all through… When the topic of Ivan came up, I tried not to let my emotions cloud my judgment and remember that while Ivan had tried to kill me, and was largely responsible for what had happened to me, he was still Dimitri's best friend, his brother.

I could admit that I had my chance to kill him and I'd missed it… "He tried to kill me, hell, he did kill me. It was pure luck that Victor's men found me in time, pure luck that one of them was a surgeon."

"I know,"

"I won't ever forgive him for what he's done, Comrade, and if it wasn't for Alistair and my father, I'd hunt him down and slit his throat." I confessed staring across the table at Dimitri, letting him see just how I felt about his brother. "He is your problem, kill him, don't kill him, it is your decision to make, and I will respect it just as you can respect that if I ever see him again, I will not hesitate to follow through on my promise."

I reached out for Lissa's hand as she began to stir. "My baby, where is my baby? Christian!"

"Shhh," I squeezed her hand as I moved to sit next to her. "Liss, Baby Ozera is fine, she's with Christian downstairs. You're both safe." I assured her as I wiped away the strands of hair sticking to her forehead. "Breathe."

Lissa stared at me with wide eyes but did as I told her. "I thought, I thought I was dying? Are you real?"

"You're not dying, Lissa." I smiled sitting on the edge of the bed. "And I'm real," I promised taking her fingers pressing them to the pulse on my wrist. "See, I'm alive."

"You're alive." She whispered tears filling her eyes. "You saved me, again."

"It is what I do," I grinned covering her shaking hand with both of mine. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been run over by a Mack truck."

"Nice." Her answering hum was all the response I got. "Lissa?" When her eyes opened I continued. "I wish I could stay, but I have to go again soon, I don't have a lot of time but when I come back I'll explain everything."

Tears filled her eyes and she squeezed my hand. "You just got here."

"I know," I wiped away the tear that escaped her eye. "We have so much to catch up on… It has been a long seven months."

"Where have you been?" Hell. I met her gaze and let her see beyond the mask I kept in place as not to scar away the others. Her eyes widened and then her eyes slid over my face taking in the visible scars, old and new, and then travelled down my neck, and down to my hands. "What happened to you, Rose?"

I hadn't planned to tell her everything, not now anyway, but as I opened my mouth to tell her that 'I was okay' the truth spilled from my lips and before I knew it I was telling her everything that'd happened from the moment I pushed her through the chain fence… everything I could remember anyway.

By the time I finished we were both in tears and clinging to each other on the tiny hospital bed barely big enough for one person. When the flow of tears slowed, we laid quietly side-by-side our fingers intertwined and our foreheads touching. "I'm so, so, so sorry about Janine and the baby."

I smiled though it was weak. "Thanks."

Her violet eye filled with tears again. "Don't go after him, Rose."

"Alistair isn't going to stop, Lissa. If I don't go to him, he will hunt me down, and hurt those I care about- hurt you, Christian, the baby- I will not be responsible for that. Dimitri and I have a plan to end this, once and for all."

"Will it work?" Lissa asked.

"Of course it will," I said. "When have my plans never not worked?"

"Ummm," Lissa pretended to think real hard. "Summer of 19-"

I knew exactly which summer she was referring too and couldn't help cutting her off as I slid off the bed laughing. "That was one of the best summers of our lives."

"It really was," Her giggles were cut off by a yawn. "Promise you'll come back."

"I promise." I whispered standing next to her bed. "I love you, Lissa."

Her eyes opened and she held out her hand. "I love you, Rose."

She was asleep before I even left the room. Dimitri stood outside the hospital room with Christian, Matthew, and Jace. They looked up when I joined them, and Christian turned to hug me. "Thank you," Christian whispered in my ear. "Come back in one piece, okay?"

"I'll do my best," I promised kissing his cheek. "Look after the girls."

"I'll do my best," Christian winked as Grant and Serena joined us. I hugged Serena and Grant, and then turned back to Dimitri and the boys. Matthew and Jace would be coming with us as backup, and Addie would be staying with Grant and Serena until Matthew told her otherwise.

"Let's finish this."

...

The end is still coming, I have this feeling I've screwed up so I've been going back over NM which is why it's taken this long...

I will finish this story.