So I've Got a Story About RWBY – Chapter 4 – Cinder is in This One.

"Where is that Cinder?!" Weiss of the Violence complained as she slammed the desk. Feint mumbling emits from under the desk, the voice of the Ruby Rug. "Shut up, Ruby!" Weiss barked. "You're not even a character."

"In like, the canon or just this fanfic?" asked Blake.

"Ehh…" Weiss shrugged with a hand wave, unwilling to give a proper answer to that question.

Cinder had not committed a crime in weeks. No secret heists, no war crimes, no Faunus hate crimes…not even a fandom-favorite girl impaled in the not-fun way. Her criminal booty was just gone.

Yang sighed. "Her booty might be the one thing I miss most of all." she said, implying that she might be able to hear the narration. Perhaps she had fourth wall powers, or perhaps she was just thinking of Cinder's butt because she's a regular pervert.

Weiss felt the need to remind Yang of Cinder's misdeeds. "She murdered the headmaster and our close friend." she said.

"I gay." Yang stated in defense. She gestures to Blake with a swirly arm motion as if to indicate something. Blake looked more confused than anything at the sight of her boobed partner. Yang tapped her finger on her lip inquisitively. "Which of our friends did she kill again?"

"Burgers, obviously." replied Weiss, pointing at Pyrrha who was walking by.

Pyrrha pokes her head through their dorm room doorway, answering to her new nickname with a "Hello again!" She walks away munching on a burger, a product of her sponsorships with every fast food joint and major success as a burger-eating FNDM fan art sensation. The sheer density of product placement surrounding the redhead luckily made her immune to any Cinder-related attacks. Could Cinder be truant because of her inability to defeat the metaphorical goliath that was commercial business?

Weiss, the Apex of Aggression, put her thinking-jeans on. Ruby liked seeing Weiss in those jeans, but she could not partake in the sight since she was too busy being a rug under a table. Weiss thought really hard about the situation, but the writers couldn't come up with anything. She needed more brain, and the writers needed more time.

Blake sighed. "I'd contribute but I'm dying. Not enough fish." A moment passes. Weiss and Blake turn to Yang who was playing on her scroll. The two were expecting a lesbian joke of some kind about fish.

Yang sits obliviously before finally noticing the stares from her friends. "Don't look at me. I'm not gay for you this episode." she says, referring to Blake. She turns her attention back to her scroll to goof around some more. Blake sags with those pursed deflated-looking anime lips, sad that she will starve this episode (Another potential victim of Cinder's evil rampage?).

The Cardinal of Catastrophe receives a text message on her scroll. It was an automatic notification by Beacon academy announcing their next school dance. "Wait…a dance! Cinder's best episode was during a dance! We'll lure her out with the festivities, and when she shows up we'll catch her red-handed!" she exclaimed. Excited about her plan, she further explains "Plus her rooftop running animation is so bad that there's no way she can escape from us! It's foolproof!" Unfortunately for Weiss: Blake was about to die, Yang wasn't paying attention, and Ruby was a rug. She'll just have to face Cinder on her own!


The Night of the Dance…

Weiss waited for a couple hours, watching in case Cinder shows up at the school to be evil. Not a single masked hotty in sight, except-! A feminine figure tumbles onto the scene. Aha! Uncoordinated rooftop traversal! Surely this had to be Cinder.

Sienna Khan stands up, dusting herself off after an embarrassing display. The Tiger Faunus points at Weiss. "You won't be defeating Cinder today, because I will! I'm the greatest character you see."

"Oh yeah?' Weiss replies in a childish tone.

Sienna smugly smiles with her arms on her side. "Yep. Just look at how much potential I have."

Weiss was admittedly impressed by all of Sienna's potential. There was just so much of it. The woman was practically radiating it. Like, if you threw her, the potential energy she had stored would become kinetic energy that could level a mountain. Make sure to write that feat down for a versus battle just because the narration said it was true.

Adam suddenly appears behind Sienna Khan. "Too bad that potential was all for nothing because of the…EXECUTION!" He sweeps his sword with a grin, feeling like a 500IQ genius for criticizing the show's writing. With this attack he hoped to decapitate Sienna Khan in a cheap hit that unceremoniously kills her off. Weiss had different plans…he wasn't about to get away with that dumb award-winning writing joke and get to kill a potentially important character.

The Heiress of Eradication catches the blade with her teeth. Adam whelps pathetically upon making eye-contact with the Princess of Pulverization. She then spits his sword out and eats his mask, a true power-play. Adam panics for a moment now that he was exposed, but then he quickly collects himself. He closes his eyes, believing no one will see his face if he can't see them. Weiss, unimpressed, just brands his other eye and goes home.

Sienna watches Weiss as she leaves, curious about the icy one. "Who was that mysterious girl in the thinking-jeans?"

"I don't know…" said Adam covering is newly scalded other eye. "But I guarantee Jeff Williams is gonna make another 10 songs about her in the RWBY soundtrack."

"I want a song…" uttered the greatest character Sienna.

"I want to go home." replied Adam. Sienna granted his wish and mailed him back to his house.


No one at Beacon was helping with the Cinder case. There was just too much teaching going on. Glynda tries to get on top of this issue, and calls General Ironwood on the phone. After a few transfers to different lines and sitting through three different waiting songs, she got an answer: "Yes, this is the General of Atlas speaking. I'm really busy right now enforcing reasonable military policy despite what the FNDM thinks." answered Ironwood.

"James, we need your help trying to find Cinder." Glynda stated.

"Sorry." Ironwood apologized. "I'm just evil now. Can't help. Tin-man allegory or something…"

"James…I'm all alone in my office." Glynda said in a seductive tone.

The door to Glynda's office opens mere seconds after that. "I'm already here." Ironwood says, walking into Glynda's office after traveling all the way from Atlas.

"Oh good." Glynda sighed, relieved. "Here, help me review these files that might help us find Cinder."

"You wound me Glynda." said Ironwood, disappointed. "For this betrayal, I'll be taking your glasses. This is why I've become evil."

Glynda sighs. "I suppose that's fair." Ironwood steps forward and politely takes her glasses away. Glynda frowns. Gone are the days that they made Macaroni and Hotdogs together. No, Ironwood was a different person, practically a different character from who he was in the 2nd chapter. This Ironwood was an evil one. He walks out of Glynda's office, but trips on an oversized glass chess piece. The General falls over, and then screams obnoxiously at the sight of his saboteur. The General would never know love again…


Blake wrangles a freshly caught Tuna in her mouth, graciously donated to her by the wealthy Pyrrha "Burger" Nikos. The Faunus manages to move it upright using only her mouth, and then chokes the entire thing down like a Pelican. Fed and no longer dying, Blake strolls on over into her dorm room and sits on the Ruby rug to read a book. This kind of interaction was probably someone's fetish, but no one wants to entertain that. Blake simply stands up, looks directly at the viewer, and says: "Shame on you for having a sentient-rug-sitting fetish. You know who you are, Gregory." Whoever this Gregory is must be mighty embarrassed.

The girl continues to read her book, which contained clues on Cinder's current whereabouts. Don't question it. Just know that committing to any long-term course of action that is integral to the plot is definitely Blake's fetish. There had to be a reason why she had so many storylines throughout the Volumes. It was something she was sensitive about, and like any reasonable person she wouldn't expose that facet of herself to those around her. She was kind of a hypocrite this way. Not desiring to be kink-shamed, but is usually the first to kink-shame others at any given moment. She was a girl however, which according to universal law means it's okay for her to judge others' fetishes. Cinder, on the other hand, was immune to such shaming. She was sultry and really hot, and thus any kink she possessed only magnified her overall appeal. At least that's what the FNDM says. Blake had to unlock this power as soon as possible…no matter the cost.

The Faunus wears red contacts and attempts to imitate the femme fatale's embered aesthetic. She eyes herself in the mirror and wonders why she hasn't tried this look before. The dress was pretty nice, even if she didn't remember where she got it from. The overall look was missing something though… Making a pure shot-in-the-dark, Blake lets out a hearty evil laugh. "HA HA HA HAH!" Yep, definitely felt more sexy now. Blake Pyrodonna was almost complete, but there was one last piece she was yet to find. Something was missing, but what? Perhaps visiting Cinder's evil lair would help her discover the secret. Later, she hops aboard the train to Evil Town. Inside the cart she takes a seat across from General Ironwood, who was also evil now.

The General looks up from reading his newspaper, clearly wearing Glynda's glasses. "Ah, you too?" he said.

"Yeah…" Blake said meekly while looking away. She was a bit nervous about what kind of first impressions she'd get with her new look.

Ironwood dismisses her by continuing to read his newspaper. "Humph. If you're going for the sultry Cinder look, make sure to commit. Meek is totally OOC."

Blake ignores his fandom lingo and mentally prepares herself for the journey ahead. The plot was finally moving forward, and she was a bit too excited about it. She couldn't help but physically tremble a bit.

The General rolls his eyes. "UGH…plot fetishists." He closes up his newspaper, gets up, and moves to an adjacent train cart to avoid Blake. The harshness of his response made Blake flush with embarrassment. She decides to wear a paper-bag over her head to hide in shame for the remainder of the trip.

Properly kink-shamed…


Anime Crazy-Man Tyrian could be heard cackling throughout Salem's entire evil castle. He jumps from wall to wall like a monkey, laughing because he was evil. Being this evil was kind of annoying, even for Salem. Heck, Tyrian was so evil that he was one of the few characters in the show who got to say a swear word. Now that was a true crime. If Ruby was a character, Tyrian would practically be the antithesis to everything she stands for. Why? Because swearing is bad.

"Look at that cackling fool." Watts scoffed with his arms crossed. "He may jump around like a crazed monkey, but he can't possibly be that evil."

Tyrian gasped, stopping in place on the wall he jumped to. The other characters gasped as well, knowing full well that Watt's words were true. Collectively they were too afraid to say anything in case it hurt his feelings, but deep down they've always wanted to tell him the truth.

"Why sir!" Tyrian shouted. He makes a great leap from the wall and lands on the evil villain council table right in front of Watts. "I am most certainly evil! The crème del a crème! The very specimen that is: Evil!"

Watts waves his finger side to side while shaking his head. "Tsk tsk tsk. Everyone knows a truly evil person would have the quintessential element that all evil-doers possess. You lack a cape, Tyrian." Watts raises one end of his cape with his right hand.

"GUAH!" Tyrian gasps once more, physically reeling back from Watts' assertion. He scans the room, eyes wide, as he realizes that everyone in the room also has capes. Salem, Hazel, Mercury, Emerald, Neo…even the new arrivals Blake and Ironwood were adorned with one. They all sit quietly with their eyes closed, allowing Tyrian to process the moment.

"It would seem even our dear Cinder has a cape." Watts sighed with a wave of his hand. "Clearly even she is your superior in this matter."

An envelope slides across the table for Tyrian to pick up. He opens it to find a letter from Cinder with a single sentence that just reads I have a cape. Tyrian couldn't believe it. How could he ever be an inferior to Cinder?! It was unfortunately true, and he had no choice but to accept objective reality. The Anime Crazy-Man Tyrian begins to sob, his face buried in his shamed hands. The other villains approach him and pat him on the back. "I- I don't even have a tailor!" he pathetically adds to his woes.

"There there, Tyrian." Salem says soothingly.

"Maybe we can go steal a cape from Cinder's room? That's pretty evil right?" Blake suggests, trying to cheer him up.

"We can do that and get some ice cream. Does that sound okay, hmm?" Salem says, like a parent trying to calm their kid.

Tyrian nods his head like a child would, the severity of his crying now lessening. The group takes him away to go steal a spare cape from Cinder's room.

Neo simply looks at the audience and holds up a whiteboard with a message written in marker that says:
"Good thing Cinder isn't here, or she'd be pretty mad."