Chapter Ten - Kindness, Beauty, and Truth

"Serena, wait!"

Serena was already halfway down the block. Before she could catch herself, instinct took over. Despite her mind telling her to flee, to run away without looking back, she could not ignore the call. She turned her head and saw Lillie scurrying down the front steps.

"Please, don't run!" Lillie called after her. "Come back!"

Serena kept running. Were it not for how her heart thundered, she would have been convinced that it had stopped entirely. The cold shock that reverberated through her body upon seeing them felt like jumping into icy water. Her reaction was the same. She had to get out. Now.

"Serena!"

Lillie called for her again. Serena did not stop. As she neared the end of the block and approached the intersection, the sound of the footsteps following her was drowned out by traffic.

With one foot on the curb, she came to a stop. Her eyes shot up to the stoplight. It was red. Cars passed in both directions. She couldn't cross. Not without risking her life, anyway. She looked around in all other directions, searching for another route. She saw Lillie approaching from behind.

"Please, wait! Don't run, please!"

Serena prepared to turn and run down the adjacent street corner, but she caught sight of Lillie's eyes. Her heart twitched.

Something was wrong. Lillie was alone. No one else was with her. No one had followed her. No one. Not even Ash.

Serena wasn't going to let hesitation get the best of her again, though. Without thinking, operating purely on muscle memory, she shoved her hand into her bag, withdrew a Poké Ball, and threw it.

Delphox burst from the ball and materialized on the sidewalk in between Serena and Lillie. Visibly surprised, Lillie tensed up and came to a halt. Briefly, she reached out with one hand, but then drew it back in and held it up to her chest. She placed her other hand on her knee and hunched over. Despite the short distance, she was already red in the face and short of breath.

Serena prepared to run once again and give a command. Behind her, the light turned.

"Please," Lillie said in between breaths. "Wait. Don't run."

Serena did not move. She felt incapable of it all of a sudden. With Lillie right in front of her, she felt like she was rooted to the spot.

Not truly seeing anything, Serena's eyes slid out of focus. A memory came to her, one she had longed to forget. The last time she and Lillie had met face to face, it ended with her penultimate fall from grace.

"Serena?"

Serena blinked. Lillie continued to catch her breath, straightening up again. Delphox stood between them. Ever vigilant, she held her wand alight. As the silence dragged on, she lowered her wand. She turned her head back toward Serena, her eyes wide and her mouth parted in equal parts surprise and confusion.

Serena's command never came. She merely tightened her lips, clenched her jaw, and swallowed.

Opposite her, Lillie stood some distance away from Delphox, wary to approach.

"...Delphox?" she said. "I... confess that I barely recognize you! Ash told me about what happened, but the last time I saw you, you were Braixen."

Delphox's eyes fell on Lillie again. Lillie tensed up and inched away a step.

"Do you remember me?" said Lillie. "I know I look a bit different now, but I assure you we have met before. I'm Lillie, from Professor Kukui's laboratory in Alola. And you- ...you look very different from the last time I saw you, too."

Delphox stared. There was silence for a few seconds. Serena's heart raced. The panic was still there. Something had to give.

"Delphox, Psychic!"

Serena's command was met with two separate looks of surprise. Once again, Delphox turned her head back to look at her. Lillie yelped, flinched, and scrambled to reach for something inside her coat.

It was the Poké Ball clipped to her waistband. She threw it.

Or rather, for a particularly generous definition of throw, she threw it. The ball landed on the ground only a few feet in front of her, then opened.

"Clefairy, go!"

Serena froze. There was a flash of light followed by the form of a small Pokémon materializing on the sidewalk. Her face slackened.

It appeared that Lillie had upgraded her doll.

Clefairy faced Delphox and looked up. As if mimicking her apparent trainer, she backed away. Delphox towered over her.

Lillie made fists with both hands and clenched them as if preparing to fight. Though Serena remained still, she wanted to cringe. It could not have been more obvious that it was a gesture she had picked up from Ash. Unfortunately, she had failed to replicate the most important part. There was no fire in her eyes. There was fear.

"Okay, Clefairy, we can do this!" said Lillie.

Serena felt like an ice cube settled into her stomach. Not including her transparently fake determination, it appeared that Lillie really had picked up a habit from Ash. There was no chance that the Lillie she had known would ever have attempted something so reckless.

Clefairy did not appear convinced at all. She raised both hands toward her mouth, clearly afraid.

"Metronome!"

Clefairy hesitated a moment before complying. Then, she raised two fingers into the air. With a steady rhythm, she moved them back and forth, chanting. She glowed.

Delphox raised her wand again. The flame on the tip flickered.

There was a flash of light. Clefairy spun around.

She waggled her tail at Delphox.

"Oh! No, not that one!" said Lillie. She grabbed her head with both hands. "Was that Tail Whip? We need an attacking move! Remember that time you used Hyrdo Pump?"

Delphox tilted her head. Clefairy looked up at Lillie, seemingly confused.

"Try again," said Lillie. "I know you can do it this time!"

Clefairy faced Delphox again and began to chant, waving her fingers in time with the beat. Once more, she glowed.

Abruptly, the glow vanished. Clefairy raised her hands to the sky. For a moment, nothing happened.

"Um-"

Lillie had just enough time to speak one syllable before the raindrops began to fall. Delphox grimaced up at the sky.

"Rain Dance..." said Lillie, dejected.

The rain began in earnest. Delphox turned her back on Clefairy and Lillie, and she faced Serena instead. She raised her wand.

For just a moment, Serena expected Delphox to attack her in retaliation for forcing her into such a foolish fight. When Delphox's eyes and wand both shone bright indigo, she expected to be lifted off the ground and thrown through the air. She remained firmly planted on the ground, though. Instead, a Poké Ball lifted itself out of her bag and hovered in the air.

A moment later, the trigger on it depressed, and a beam of light shot toward Delphox. She vanished inside the ball, and the ball fell back into Serena's bag.

And then, Serena was left standing there with Lillie and Clefairy in the rain. There would have been silence, but that was soon interrupted. Before anyone could say a word, there was a faint, metallic clatter, a squeaking sound that Serena recognized as the mail slot on the front door. Moments later, buzzing filled her ears as Ribombee emerged from it and zipped down the street toward them. She stopped short of them, clearly confused by the personal raincloud covering them.

Lillie looked up and saw Ribombee hovering at a distance. Her eyes lingered for a moment until Clefairy came up to her and tugged at her leg, trying to hide in her shadow from the rain. Lillie picked up Clefairy's Poké Ball and aimed it at her.

"Thank you. You tried your best."

Lillie returned Clefairy to her ball, then clipped it back on her waistband. Then, she took a few steps backward toward where Ribombee hovered, standing outside the perimeter of the rain cloud.

Serena did not move. Ribombee swooped down and landed on top of Lillie's head.

"Serena?"

"I-"

Serena was barely able to croak out a single word before a wave of grief and guilt washed over her and stole her voice. She lowered her head. She bit down hard on the inside of her lip.

Ribombee chirred. Her voice ached with worry. Lillie's face matched the sound.

"You really should get out of that rain cloud," said Lillie, folding her hands in front of herself. "It's awfully cold out here."

"Just-"

Serena swallowed. She strained herself, shaking from the effort of trying to hold back the wave of emotion that threatened to burst through the dam more and more with each passing second. When she spoke again, it was only a whisper.

"...just leave me alone."

Cold water trickled down the back of Serena's neck, sneaking inside the folds of her scarf. She folded her arms tight clenched her eyes shut, cold wind whirling around her. Her head throbbed. She wanted to vanish, to disappear. She wanted to wake up and find out that none of this was real. But when she opened her eyes, the dream wasn't over. It couldn't end, because it had ended long ago.

"I'm so sorry," she said.

Serena looked up. She jumped in surprise. Lillie stood much closer than before. Under the rain cloud with her, she was only an arm's length away. Atop her head, Ribombee tried to shield herself from the rain with her wings, clearly displeased.

A bittersweet smile adorned Lillie's face. Serena couldn't bear the sight of it. She looked away and shut her eyes again.

"I'm so sorry," she said again. "You... you can go. You don't have to stay here with me. Just leave me alone, please."

"No."

For a few seconds, Serena expected the end to come. She expected the other shoe to drop at last, for Lillie and the rest of the world finally to stop pretending everything was okay and to give her the punishment she was due at long last. She expected Lillie to breathe fire, to burn her alive, to tear her to shreds. And if not that, at least a solid slap in the face and a cutting tirade.

But instead, what Serena received was a hug.


Twenty minutes later, Serena found herself sitting opposite Lillie at a table for two in a crowded café, utterly at a loss as to how any of this had happened. All she remembered was Lillie saying that they needed to talk, and asking if she knew any good spots for that around here, and then ending up where they were. It was impossible to make any sense of it all.

Serena looked at the words on the menu. She couldn't read them. They didn't look like words. The paper may as well have been blank. All it did for her was block Lillie's face from view when she held it up.

"I think I may have some difficulty with getting my usual here," said Lillie.

Serena lowered the menu, bringing Lillie's face back into view. She looked more like Serena remembered now, an uncertain frown on her face.

"I don't see milk listed anywhere on this menu," said Lillie. "Do you think they serve it?"

"They probably serve it as something you can add to coffee or tea," said Serena. "I don't know about on its own, though."

"Oh," said Lillie. Her disappointment was palpable. "I take it warm milk isn't commonly served in Kalos, then?"

Serena wasn't certain it was commonly served anywhere. She shook her head. Lillie pouted and focused on the menu again.

"I've always been too afraid to try tea or coffee," she said. "I was always worried about spilling it on myself, and the stains it would leave."

Serena did not need Lillie to explain any further to know that her phobia was her mother's doing.

"You could try green tea, then," said Serena. "It's very light."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" said Lillie.

Serena nodded. As she did, a waitress arrived. She took their orders, then left.

"I suppose this will be another new experience I've had because of you," said Lillie.

"Mmm."

Serena only hummed a response. She kept her mouth shut, lips tight, eyes away. Lillie folded her hands in her lap and looked down.

"Thank you."

Serena was certain she had misheard. Lillie's voice had been no more than a whisper.

"For what?"

"For not running away," said Lillie. She looked up at Serena again. "At least, not for a second time."

The first thought Serena had was that depending on one's definition of running away, she had probably already run away several more times than Lillie understood. Once she had that thought, dozens more followed. Her mind overflowed with questions. Unable to resist, she asked.

"So... when did you get here?"

"Oh, it was only this afternoon," said Lillie. "We had not been at the house for very long at all before you arrived. I am not always the best judge of time, but I would say it had been no more than fifteen or twenty minutes. It took us quite a long time to take a taxi from the airport to there. The traffic was abominable! We had hardly finished our introductions with Clemont and Bonnie before you arrived."

Serena's heart missed a beat.

Lillie didn't know.

"It was wonderful to meet them, at long last," said Lillie. "I had heard so much! They couldn't have been friendlier."

"Did you meet anyone else?"

"Anyone else?" said Lillie. "No, although they did mention that their father was at work and tended to stay late. I suppose I'll meet him later."

Serena fought with all her might to maintain a neutral expression. Either Lillie was hiding it, or she was entirely unaware of Aria. If she and Ash had only been there for a few minutes, it was entirely possible that neither Clemont nor Bonnie had time to explain the situation. Aria had most likely hidden when she realized who had arrived.

Lillie didn't know.

There was an awkward silence. Lillie shifted in her seat. She spoke first.

"I admit that I may have been a bit too quick to act in bringing you here," she said. "I was eager to get a chance to talk to you as soon as we arrived. I discussed the idea with Ash, and he agreed to let me talk to you first on my own when we arrived. Merely asking you to do this seemed like it would be the hard part. I assumed it would be easy once we were alone, but it looks like that was a very poor assumption indeed. I never had much of a plan beyond this, unfortunately."

Serena blinked, and her eyes came into focus on Lillie again.

"You spent all that time with Ash, but you still think that anything ever goes according to plan?" she said.

An embarrassed smile crossed Lillie's face, and she held a hand to the back of her neck.

"When you put it that way, it really does sound silly, doesn't it?" she said. "I'm not sure what I was thinking. Perhaps I simply wasn't."

"That's another Ash thing," said Serena.

"Isn't it, though?" said Lillie. She looked up at Serena, seemingly amused. "I suppose I should not have been surprised by it based on what I saw from him when you two first arrived, but he certainly has a unique approach to solving problems, doesn't he?"

"He does," said Serena. "He never stops to think about whether or not his solution is going to cause another problem."

Serena wondered for a moment if perhaps she had taken after Ash in that regard.

"I could not have put it better myself," said Lillie. "Everywhere we went, I was never sure if he was actually helping people or just replacing their old problems with new ones."

"He helped you, didn't he?"

Lillie nodded emphatically.

"Oh, yes, very much so!" she said. "Please do not misunderstand. I am deeply grateful for everything he did."

"I know. You really needed his help."

"Indeed, and he gave it to me, and so many others. I don't know how I can ever repay him."

A particularly cynical thought crossed Serena's mind about how exactly Lillie could repay Ash, but she kept it to herself.

"You really deserved it," said Serena. "Especially… after what I did to you."

Serena finished her statement with a sigh, and she briefly shut her eyes as she rested her elbows on the table and held her head in her hands.

Lillie was hesitant to speak.

"I am not so certain those two are related," she said.

"You deserved better than me invading your privacy and destroying your diary all because I was insecure and paranoid about my relationship with Ash."

Lillie bit down on her lips.

"And you also deserved better than to be held prisoner and abused by your mother," Serena continued. "And being kidnapped, apparently?"

"It was not exactly a kidnapping, at least in my mind," said Lillie. "I suppose that is what it was, though, since everyone else seems to think so. Team Skull did not take me by force. I went with them willingly and without a struggle, albeit under the threat of violence."

"That's definitely kidnapping."

"Regardless, I felt that it may have helped the situation if I agreed to go with them peacefully. I wanted a chance to talk to my mother again. I believed it was possible for me to convince her to stop. Unfortunately, that belief was proven to be very naïve."

"Ash stopped her, though," said Serena. "I saw in the news article."

"The whole world saw, it seems," said Lillie. "I never expected it to be such big news."

"Your mom was experimenting with alien Pokémon," said Serena. "How could it not be big news?"

"It was everyday life to me," said Lillie. "I knew that what she was doing was wrong. I never realized it would become the story of the century when the news broke."

"You and Ash kind of disappeared afterward, though," said Serena. "I tried to find more info on what you two were doing, but you both pretty much vanished until Ash won the league."

"That was Ash's doing," said Lillie. "I was very grateful for it, though. We spent a few weeks in the wilderness while he prepared to challenge the league. He said he wanted to get away from the cameras."

"I don't blame him."

"He said he was sure you would understand."

Serena tightened her brow. Understand what, exactly? She certainly understood wanting to avoid even more publicity after everything that had happened in the last several months. She had not understood Ash's intent, though. Was he sure she would understand why he was absent for so long? She had failed to understand. She had given up. She had assumed a very different motivation for his silence.

"He also really wished you could have been with us," said Lillie.

Serena's heart ached. She bowed her head.

"Me too."

"I felt the same," said Lillie.

Eyes narrowed, Serena looked up at Lillie again.

"How?" she said. "How could you have wanted me there after what I did to you?"

"Well, I admit, my first preference would have been that you never broke into my diary and had talked to me instead."

Serena inhaled through her teeth as if stung by the words.

"Yeah… Me too."

"I still did not want you to leave, though," said Lillie. "Neither did Ash, nor did anyone else."

"I don't understand why," said Serena. She shook her head. "I would understand if you never wanted to speak to me again."

"I would never want that," said Lillie.

"How are you not angry with me?"

"I still am, to be honest. It still hurts. Not as much as it did at first, though."

"How can you sit at this table with me and not want to yell at me?"

"I don't like to raise my voice," said Lillie. "I certainly don't want to raise it at you. We had our fight. There is no need for another one."

Serena tilted her head to the side, confused as ever.

"How…"

Serena grasped at her forehead as if trying to pull an answer from inside her brain.

"How can you be so calm about this?" she said. "Why is nobody angry at me? I violated your trust, invaded your privacy, and ruined our friendship! And you're not the only person I did that to! I'm so ashamed of myself that I feel like I could die from it! Why doesn't anyone want to see me punished? Why doesn't anyone hate me? You, most of all!"

"I can't hate you," said Lillie. "I don't even hate my mother."

Serena winced.

"Being compared to her is… not great. I earned it, though."

"That is not the most flattering comparison, I admit," said Lillie. "All I mean is that if I don't hate her, how could I hate you?"

Serena's heart twitched. Lillie had no idea.

"She's your mother. I was supposed to be your friend, but instead I stooped lower than your mother ever did."

"My mother may not have ever read my diary, but that was almost certainly because she simply did not find its contents important enough to go to the effort to do so. She cared about my act of defiance, not my words."

"And I did," said Serena. "How does that not make me even worse than her?"

"You never imprisoned me, nor treated me like a doll, nor exploited helpless Pokémon for your own gain."

"Not a high bar to clear."

"Perhaps not, but that is beside the point."

"How can you not hate her?"

"Because she is my mother," said Lillie. "Despite what she has done, I know that she did not act entirely under her own will. Nihilego brought out the worst in her, but it did not destroy the best in her, either. The mother I once knew is still inside her, somewhere. I would much rather love her than hate her. Perhaps it does not make sense to anyone else, but that is the choice I have made. I choose to love her."

Serena leaned back in her chair and thought. Many questions came to mind.

"I… met Nihilego, too, actually," said Serena.

"You did?" said Lillie. She straightened up in her seat. "I wasn't aware! When did this happen?"

"When Nebby teleported us to safety," said Serena. "We were in Ultra Space for a few seconds, weren't we?"

"I assume so, although I can't speak with certainty about what you saw. I was alone while we were in that other dimension. I assume we all were. We may have all seen different things. Perhaps we were even in different places."

"What did you see?" said Serena.

"Nothing but an empty cavern and an assortment of glowing gemstones."

"No Pokémon? No people?"

"Nothing. As far as I know, for a few seconds I was the only living thing there."

"But then… why me? Why did I see Nihilego?" said Serena.

"There may not have been any reason for it," said Lillie.

"It can't have just been luck," said Serena.

"I do think that Nihilego is naturally drawn toward some people," said Lillie. "My mother, for example."

"Wouldn't it have had more reason to be drawn to you? You're her daughter."

"Possibly so, but I doubt that mattered. Our stop in Ultra Space was so brief that I struggle to believe Nihilego would have had time to act upon that."

"Then why did it come to me?"

"Curiosity, perhaps. We did suddenly materialize out of nowhere from its perspective, after all."

"But it…"

Serena cringed at the memory. She could still feel it, the paralysis from her terror in that moment. A horrible tingling sensation shot down her neck, her back, and all her limbs. She shuddered.

"It wanted me," said Serena.

"I… beg your pardon?" said Lillie.

"It wanted me. It was going to take me. It touched me, just for a moment."

"It touched you?"

"Yes. It was going to… eat me, I guess? Or whatever it does."

"Nihilego is a parasite," said Lillie. "It probably intended to couple with you, like my mother allowed it to do with her."

"I didn't want to let it do that, though! Why did it want me?"

"It probably wanted anyone," said Lillie. "I doubt that it had anything to do with you specifically."

"But… did it poison me or something? Scramble my brain? I felt something when it touched me!"

"What did you feel?"

"A horrible pain in my head!" said Serena. "It was only for an instant, but it was the worst thing I've ever felt!"

"It sounds like Nebby teleported you away just in time," said Lillie.

"But…"

Serena shuddered again. She wrapped her arms around herself.

"Did it make me this way?" she said. "Did it do the same thing to me that it did to your mother?"

"No, I don't think so."

"But… if it didn't change me, why did I do all these terrible things to people I care about? Am I just a bad person? Is that all there is to it?"

"You are not a bad person," said Lillie. "I think you're a very good one, actually. You just made some mistakes."

"I hurt people who I never wanted to hurt!"

"Good people do bad things sometimes. That does not make you a bad person. I do not believe you could be even if you tried."

"Why does everyone think that? I feel worthless! I ruined everything!"

"I cannot speak for everyone," said Lillie, "but I could never hate someone who cares so much about my feelings, which you clearly do."

Serena slumped in her seat. Hands on the sides of her head, she stared at the tabletop.

"It can't just be that I made some mistakes," she said. "This can't all have happened for no reason. There has to be something more to this."

"I'm not so sure I agree," said Lillie.

"How can you not see it?" said Serena. "After everything you've been through, how can you not think that there's something more to all of this?"

Lillie appeared to measure her words before speaking.

"At the risk of being presumptuous, I think I have spent much more time wondering about that than you have," she said. "When your own mother turns against you, it's only natural to want to understand why."

Serena tightened her lips. There was no way she could respond. She allowed Lillie to continue.

"Everything does happen for a reason, in some sense," said Lillie. "Everything has a cause. Not everything has a meaning, though. My brother and I suffered a great deal because of our mother's actions. There are reasons why she became the way she did. A long chain of events caused her transformation, ultimately leading to what she inflicted upon me and Gladion, as well as what she almost did to the entire world. Perhaps this will sound like a strange thing to say, but although there were reasons it happened, it did not happen for a reason, if you understand my meaning."

Serena shook her head.

"How can you say that what you went through was meaningless?" she said.

Lillie smiled, bittersweet.

"Should we begrudge the misfortunes which befall us on the paths to our greatest successes? I don't see much use in that. I would much rather be happy about the good things that have happened in my life than dwell forever on the bad ones."

Serena could not think of a response. Fortunately, the waitress arrived with their tea during the lull in the conversation. Both she and Lillie took a minute to tend to their tea, adding sugar and cream and then stirring. Serena was still stirring absentmindedly when Lillie spoke up again.

"Even though you don't feel like you deserve it, I want to forgive you," said Lillie.

"You shouldn't," said Serena.

"I think many people would agree with you, but that is not how I feel," said Lillie. "I want to call you my friend again. I've missed you, truthfully. Neither Ash nor Hau were suitable substitutes for the types of conversations we used to have."

Serena let out a puff of air through her nose. She knew how true Lillie's words were.

"I know what you mean," said Serena.

"But, before I can truly forgive you, I need you to do something for me."

"What is it?"

"I need you to forgive yourself first."

Serena stared at Lillie, confused. After a moment, she shook her head.

"I don't deserve to be forgiven."

"Please, don't think that way."

Serena bit her lip and hesitated. For a moment, she considered just letting it all out, explaining everything no matter what the cost. Before she could do it, Lillie spoke again.

"The pain that you're inflicting on yourself hurts others, too," said Lillie. "None of the people who care about you want to see you suffer. Not me, nor anyone else. There is no reason for you to do such a thing to yourself. You need to let it go."

"How am I supposed to do that?" said Serena.

"I don't know, unfortunately," said Lillie. She shook her head. "You have to figure that out on your own."

A long silence followed, during which both of them avoided each other's eyes and sipped their tea. Serena was at a loss as to what to say. Somehow, the task that Lillie placed before her seemed even more insurmountable than everything else she had faced. It was almost unthinkable.

But even after everything Lillie had said, so many questions remained.

"I never imagined I would end up here, where I am right now," said Lillie. "The last few months have been so surreal."

"I know what you mean," said Serena.

"So, you've been living here in the city with all your friends?" said Lillie. "That must be really fun."

"It's been pretty complicated, actually," said Serena. "It's better than staying at home, though."

"I never thought I would get to see a city like this," said Lillie. "Even Hau'oli City was overwhelming for me after all those years at sea."

Serena remembered Lillie's terrible navigation skills. Gazing into her teacup, she smiled fondly.

"I can imagine so," she said.

"When I was trapped at Aether Paradise, when I daydreamed of escaping, the only thing I could imagine was being somewhere without my mother," said Lillie. "I never could picture anything more specific than that. I hadn't seen enough of the outside world to know what was out there."

Lillie thought for a moment, and then she shrugged as if at a loss for words.

"I had no idea how wonderful the world is," she said. "I'm so lucky to have had the chance to see so much of it. I never could have imagined all of this a year ago."

"I was never trapped like you were, but I know what you mean," said Serena. "There are so many things I've only seen because of Ash. If it weren't for him, I would probably still be stuck at home in Vaniville Town."

Serena wrapped both hands around her teacup and thought for a moment.

"I owe him a thank you, honestly," she said. "Getting to travel with him is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't know if I've ever really thanked him for that."

"I owe a great deal to him, as well," said Lillie. "It wasn't only him, though. A lot of other people helped me. You were one of them."

"No, don't-"

"Serena, please," Lillie said, interrupting. "I mean it. I don't know that I ever would have had the confidence to ask Ash for help if it were not for your encouragement, regardless of whether or not you truly meant it at the time."

Serena supposed Ash had also given Lillie the confidence to interrupt someone and speak up, but she did not mention it.

"I'm glad I could help, I guess," said Serena. "I just wish I had been able to do it in a less destructive way."

"You had your reasons for it," said Lillie.

"They were bad reasons."

"Not really."

Serena shifted her eyes up to meet Lillie's. The tone of voice Lillie had used set Serena on edge. There was something more to her words, some deeper meaning. Serena was confident she knew what it was. She had been confident in it for a long time.

She pursed her lips for a moment, then admitted it.

"You know, you may think you're lucky to have Ash, but Ash is lucky to have you, too," said Serena.

"I'm not so sure I agree with that," Lillie said, an awkward look on her face.

"You're probably the kindest person I've ever met," said Serena. "It's amazing that you've lived through what you have and yet you still always want to see the best in everyone. You're amazing. You're brave, and you're smart, and you're wise beyond your years. And you're so, so pretty. I hope you realize that. Seriously."

Lillie bit her lip. She appeared a bit flustered.

"You flatter me, really," she said. "I don't know how you can call me brave, though. You're the brave one. I wish I had your courage."

"Are you kidding me?" said Serena. "I ran away. I'm the definition of a coward!"

Lillie shook her head.

"No, you're not. You're one of the most courageous people I've ever met!"

"I guess that's because you haven't met very many people," said Serena.

"It's because you did one of the bravest and most selfless things I've ever seen," said Lillie. "You left behind someone you loved, even though it hurt terribly, even though you were afraid you were going to lose him, all because you felt like it was the right thing to do. You put everyone else before yourself. You did that to help me, and everyone, no matter what the cost was to you. That's amazing."

Serena wondered if she had finally paid back that cost. Perhaps she had, she figured.

There was only one way to find out, and that meant asking the most difficult question of all.

"Lillie… You and Ash fell in love, didn't you?"

Lillie grimaced. She quickly turned red.

"That's… a complicated question," she said.

Serena looked at the table. She ran a hand over her hair, then folded her hands tightly in her lap. She did not look up as she spoke.

"This may sound crazy coming from me, especially after how all our troubles began, but... it's okay if that happened. I've made my peace with it. It knew it was a risk all along. Honestly, I think I knew you had feelings for him before you did. I don't blame you for feeling that way, either. Believe me, I get it."

"Serena…"

"Yeah, wow," Serena said, sounding almost disbelieving of herself. She turned her head aside and scratched awkwardly at the back of her neck. "That does sound really weird for me to say, doesn't it? I've never said it all out loud before."

"Ash and I aren't together."

Serena's eyes snapped back to meet Lillie's.

"He was always very serious about coming back to you when our journey was done," said Lillie. "He wrote to you every week. He never knew if you got any of the letters he sent, but he kept sending them anyway. He went really out of his way to do it, too. He was distraught when we arrived on Poni Island and found out the island had no mail service. He had Professor Oak send him Talonflame just to carry the letters to an island with a post office."

Serena's face went blank. Lillie's face became redder still.

"I… do have to confess something, though," said Lillie. "It's one of the biggest reasons I wanted to talk to you as soon as possible, actually. I didn't feel like I could take it anymore unless I told you the truth right away."

Serena was motionless. There was too much information to process. The gears in her brain came grinding to a halt.

"You were right," said Lillie. "I did have feelings for Ash after all. I didn't understand it at the time. I had no frame of reference to which I could compare it, but as our journey went on, it became clear to me. We became closer and closer, and I became more and more enamored of him, and eventually I couldn't even think about him without my heart throbbing. I thought there was something wrong with me at first, but Professor Burnet laughed when I told her what was happening to me. She knew what it was. I was lovesick."

Lillie stared at her own teacup. She tightened her lips for a moment.

"He was still writing to you every week, though, and he still talked about you all the time. I couldn't possibly have shared my feelings with him when he was so clearly still in love with you. But then, everything with my mother and Team Skull got so serious, and we were alone with each other for such a long time, separated from the rest of the world. He and I grew ever closer. It was impossible for me not to fall for him. I knew that I shouldn't, but... it really did feel like falling, like it was impossible to catch myself."

Serena remained as still as a statue. Her lips slightly parted, she did not even blink. Lillie paused for a long breath and a moment of thought, and then continued.

"We had to search for an ancient flute to use at the Altar of the Moone. Our search led us to an uninhabited island where wild Exeggutor grew as tall as buildings. A storm came upon us, and we took shelter in a cave. It was the most peaceful, soothing thing I've ever experienced, the perfect calm as we waited for the rain to pass. I had never felt happier in my life. We talked for a while, and I told him about the time I danced with my mother in the rain. I wanted so badly to take his hand and lead him out into the rain. I wanted to dance with him, too."

Lillie sighed.

"But that's not what happened. I didn't have the courage to ask him. The rain passed, and when the sun came out again, a magnificent rainbow appeared overhead. It was like it was just for us. I took it as a sign. So, before we left the cave, I told him there was one more thing I wanted to do with him. I asked him to close his eyes. He did, and then… I-"

Lillie placed her elbows on the table and her head in her hands, covering her face. She took a deep breath.

"I... kissed him."

Serena's heart stopped. A moment later, it resumed again, pounding so hard that the corners of her vision throbbed with each beat.

"He never kissed me back," said Lillie. "He told me he couldn't do that, because he was still with you, no matter what."

Serena raised a hand to cover her open mouth. Her heart accelerated. Wave after wave of terrible realizations swept over her. She felt her entire body begin to turn red.

"I didn't have much of a choice other than to let it go," said Lillie. "I was honest with him about my feelings, and he was honest with me. It's been hard to come beyond it, but we're just friends, and that's all we're ever going to be."

Serena's vision slid out of focus. Panic took hold.

"I know this is asking a lot of you, but I hope you can forgive me."

Serena did not hear Lillie's words. All she heard was the shattering sound produced by her own brain.

"Lillie."

Lillie uncovered her face and looked up. She met Serena's eyes for only a moment before looking away.

Her voice quivering, Serena spoke slowly.

"Did you say that Ash wrote to me every week?"

Lillie bit her lip. Meekly, she nodded.

Serena exhaled, trying to steady her shaking breaths.

"But... I haven't gotten anything from him in almost two months."

"You haven't?"

"No. I got his first few letters, but nothing since I arrived here. I even tried to write back to him, but the letter was returned to me. I-"

Serena paused. Her voice hitched.

"I... I thought he stopped writing to me. I thought he gave up on me, and he chose..."

Serena met Lillie's eyes. She whispered the final word.

"You."

Lillie timidly shook her head. Serena clenched her eyes shut, then exhaled through gritted teeth. She slumped in her seat. A cold sense of dread and deceit crept down her spine and settled into her stomach. While her innards froze, her face flared with heat, waves of shame washing over her with every heartbeat.

"Excuse me."

Serena stood and left the table. Covering her face, she ran for the restroom. She was certain of two things – that Ash's letters had not disappeared by accident, and that she had made the greatest mistake of her life.