Chapter Eleven - Raining Deep in Heaven
"Mom."
The picture came into view. On the other side of the screen, Grace sat in front of the familiar backdrop of the kitchen. In place of her typical attire, she wore a bathrobe over pajamas. The house was dark. Her eyes were heavy, but they soon opened wide.
"Serena?"
In a separate window on the screen, Serena saw her own digital reflection, a tiny copy of her own video feed tucked away in the corner. She knew from only a momentary glance at it that there was no way she would escape questioning. There was no way she could hide.
"It's great to hear from you, but it's late for you to be calling," said Grace. "You know I'm always in bed by this time. I-"
Grace paused. Through the screen, Serena felt her mother's eyes roaming over her, darting back and forth as she took in the details.
"Is... everything okay?"
Serena glared flatly back at her mother. She made no effort to conceal the redness in her eyes, nor the dark circles beneath them, nor the drained look on her face.
"No."
"What's wrong?" said Grace. Worry sank into her face. She leaned in closer toward the screen. "Did something happen? Are you hurt? And-"
Grace's eyes shifted up, looking past Serena.
"Who's this with you?"
Standing a few feet behind Serena, at a distance that struck an uncomfortable balance between not wanting to be involved and not wanting to remove herself, Lillie shifted awkwardly. Realizing she had been addressed, she made a tiny exclamation, bowed, and then took a few steps toward the camera. She stopped behind Serena's shoulder.
"Oh! Hello, ma'am," said Lillie. "I don't believe we've been introduced, but you must be Serena's mother. I'm Lillie."
Grace appeared confused. She hesitated for a moment.
"Yes. Good to meet you, Lillie. Can you tell me what's going on? Is everything alright? Is Serena hurt?"
Lillie avoided eye contact.
"I'm sorry to say that I'm not sure I understand the situation well enough myself," she said. "I think Serena will need to explain."
"Serena?"
"Mom."
Again, Serena addressed her mother flatly. Grace parted her lips as if though to speak, but Serena spoke before she could say anything.
"I need to ask you a question, and I need you to tell me the truth," said Serena. "Don't lie to me. Don't hide anything. Do you understand?"
"I'm... not sure I do. What's happen-"
"Mom!"
Serena clenched her fists on the surface of the kiosk, hidden from the camera. She resisted the urge to bang them.
"Don't you dare lie to me about this, mom! Do you understand?"
Grace clearly did not.
"Yes, but... what is it?"
Serena took a deep breath and steadied herself.
"Since I left the house and came to Lumiose City, has there been any mail for me? I mean anything. Anything at all."
"Well, yes, but-"
"What was it?!"
"Well, I'm not sure, but-"
"Where is it?!"
"Serena!"
"Mom!"
Serena's voice echoed through the atrium of the otherwise quiet Pokémon Center. She grit her teeth and leaned closer to the monitor. Lillie backed away a couple of steps, clearly uncomfortable. On the other side of the screen, Grace's expression changed. Her eyes hardened. Her brow creased.
"Serena, tell me what's going on right now."
"You tell me what's going on!" said Serena. "Ash has been sending me a letter every week since I've been gone, but you said there wasn't any mail for me! Either they've all gone missing, or you lied to me! Which is it?"
Grace tightened her lips for a moment before she spoke.
"I have to tell you, when you asked me last time if there had been any mail for you, I didn't tell you the truth."
Serena's jaw dropped. She tried to say something, but not even a single syllable came out.
"I know that Ash has been sending you letters. The first one showed up about a week after you left."
"Mom! How-"
Serena dug her fingers into her hair and gripped tight.
"How could you?!" she said. "Why? Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Because I thought you knew!" said Grace. "I wasn't trying to hide them from you. I forwarded them all to you."
Serena froze.
"What?"
"When you asked me last time if there had been any mail for you, I was worried that I had gotten your new address wrong, so I double-checked it and made sure I was sending it to the right place. Have you really not gotten any of them?"
Serena shook her head.
"No."
Grace rubbed her forehead.
"I... don't know what to say," she said. "I don't understand why they wouldn't have made it to you. I'm sure I used the right address."
"What did you do with them?" said Serena. "How did you forward them to me?"
"I put them inside a bigger envelope, put your new address on it, and put them in our outgoing mail."
"Our mailbox?" said Serena. "The one at the gate?"
Grace nodded.
"Yes. I never thought to try anywhere else. I'm not sure why I would have, honestly."
"Have you seen anyone other than the mailman at our mailbox?"
"Well, I've had Calem check the mail for me," said Grace. "Other than him, no one."
"Did he take them?" said Serena. "Did he steal them?"
"Why in the world would he do such a thing?" said Grace.
"Because he was clearly interested in me and Ash was sending me love letters!"
"But how would he have known that without reading them?" said Grace.
"I don't know! Who else could have done it, though?"
"I have no idea, but it wasn't him," said Grace. "I know you don't like him, but trust me. He's a nice boy. He wouldn't do that."
"Are you really sure about that?" said Serena.
"I would like to think I know him fairly well by now."
"How do you know? You gave him permission to go into our mailbox!"
"Well, I don't know that, but I have no reason to believe he would do it," said Grace.
"Well I have no reason to believe he wouldn't!"
Grace's brow tightened in irritation.
"The timing doesn't make sense," she said. "I always put the mail out first thing in the morning. The mailman comes by in the afternoon. Calem can barely keep his eyes open when he shows up in the morning. He's not a morning person. I keep him busy all day. He wouldn't have the time to sneak off to our mailbox and grab the letter without me noticing, and he wouldn't be able to keep it hidden from me all day. He just didn't do this. You need to believe me."
Serena grimaced, clenched her eyes shut and rested her forehead on her palms.
"I don't know why all the letters have gone missing," said Grace, "but if there really is some kind of conspiracy against you, it isn't taking place here in Vaniville Town."
Serena looked up again. She knew her mother had no idea how true her words were.
"You're in the biggest city in Kalos," said Grace. "Are you sure there isn't some way the letters could have gotten lost on your end?"
"I... don't know."
"I wish I had something more helpful to say," said Grace. "I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you last time, but it was like with the job offer from Meyer. I wanted to surprise you! I probably need to stop doing that. It never seems to work out well."
Serena shook her head.
"It's okay," she said. "Thank you for telling the truth this time."
"Of course," said Grace. "Are you okay, though?"
"Not really."
"I know I've asked this already, but what's going on? Is it just the letters?"
"No, it's not just that," said Serena. "Ash is here. He just got back from Alola, and... well, things are really complicated."
"I'm sure they are," said Grace. Her eyes darted up to take a glance at Lillie over Serena's shoulder. Lillie had her hands folded in front while she looked away.
"I've made some really big mistakes," said Serena. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to make up for them."
"Everyone makes big mistakes."
"I've made a lot of them."
"It happens to everyone. No one is perfect."
"How am I supposed to make up for them, though?" said Serena. "I've pretty much ruined everything. Again."
"You can't always fix things," said Grace. "The best you can do is to learn from what you've done and try your best not to make the same mistake twice."
Serena bit her lip.
"I don't know if I'm going to get a second chance for this one."
When Serena and Lillie stepped out of the Pokémon Center again a few minutes later, they found the sky darker than when they had entered. The moon, previously visible, was now obscured by clouds. The stars had gone missing. Everything above was a dim gray.
As they turned down the street toward Clemont's house, a biting gust of wind came upon them. Serena bowed her head and tightened her arms around herself, the ends of her scarf tossing about wildly. Lillie audibly shivered as she adjusted her coat.
"To think that I thought it was cold on Mount Lanakila..." she said. "This is unbearable!"
"This must be a shock to you after being in Alola for so long, isn't it?" said Serena.
"Very much so," said Lillie. "Spending ten years on an artificial tropical island in the middle of the ocean did not prepare me for this!"
"Have you ever seen snow before?"
"Up until a few weeks ago, I had not," said Lillie. "That changed when Ash and I climbed Mount Lanakila."
"Mmm."
Serena only hummed a response.
"It was only one of many firsts I experienced on our journey together," said Lillie.
The weight of Lillie's words brought silence over the two of them for a while. Several blocks passed before Lillie spoke again.
"I have to admit that I don't quite understand what has happened here," she said. "When Ash and I arrived, we barely had time for introductions with Clemont and Bonnie before you arrived and then ran out the door. I thought you ran because you were afraid of confronting me after what happened between us when you left Alola, but... I'm confused. I wanted to talk to you as soon as Ash and I arrived so I could explain what happened. I thought you would be furious with me!"
Lillie tightened her coat, almost as if trying to hide her face behind it.
"You know," she said. "About what I did with him. Kissing him. I assumed you would think it was petty revenge. But... it seems almost like you expected it. And now, after your conversation with your mother about Ash's letters, I'm more confused than ever. I don't know what to make of it all. I don't mean to pry, but I can't help but think that there's something I'm missing."
Her arms drawn tightly around herself, Serena walked for a few steps with her eyes closed. When she opened them again, she spoke.
"When you arrived, you didn't meet Aria, did you?" she asked.
"Aria?" said Lillie. "No, I'm afraid not. I only met Clemont and Bonnie. They didn't mention anyone with that name."
"I shouldn't be surprised," said Serena, shaking her head. "There's a lot to explain."
"Was I correct that I was missing something?"
"Yes. More than you realize."
Lillie hesitated a moment before responding.
"I'm not certain if I should be intrigued or intimidated by that," she said.
"I don't know, either," said Serena. "Maybe both, honestly. This is all so crazy that I don't even know where to start."
Another gust of wind whirled through the streets. A few more of the most stubborn leaves detached from the trees and disappeared into the night sky. Serena waited for the gust to pass before speaking again.
"Maybe Ash already told you about this, but when I traveled with him here in Kalos, I performed in competitions called Pokémon Performance Showcases," said Serena. "I don't think they have them anywhere other than Kalos, but they're a big deal here. The winner of each year's Master Class Showcase is given the title of Kalos Queen."
"Do you mean like actual royalty?" said Lillie.
"No, but the Kalos Queen may as well be an actual queen. She's always an idol. The reigning Kalos Queen is probably the biggest star in Kalos right now."
"Who is she?"
"Aria."
Confusion registered on Lillie's face for long enough to stifle her attempted reply. Serena continued.
"I met Aria a few times when I was performing in showcases. I ended up competing with her at the Master Class Showcase. I came in second place. She won."
"You were the runner up?"
"Yes, but it wasn't as close as it sounds," said Serena. "Aria is a legend. I didn't stand a chance against her. Showcases are kind of like a cross between a talent show, a beauty pageant, and a popularity contest. There was no way I could beat her in any of those."
"You sell yourself short."
"You haven't met Aria," said Serena. "She's... captivating."
"I'd certainly be curious to meet her."
"You'll get your chance," said Serena. "She's at Clemont's house."
"But why is she there?" said Lillie. "And if she is there, why didn't she come to greet us when Ash and I arrived?"
"That's... complicated. It's all complicated. The short answer is that she's hiding."
"Hiding? From what?"
"From her former mentor and agent, Palermo."
"Why?"
"Because Palermo has pretty much held Aria captive for the last ten years."
"Captive?" said Lillie. "How? What do you mean?"
"Palermo is a famous former Kalos Queen herself," said Serena. "She's revered by the people of Kalos. She's spent her entire life in show business, and it's considered an incredible honor for her to offer to take you under her wing. What almost no one knows is that it's a trap."
"A trap?"
"Palermo signs promising young girls into contracts that allow her to control their finances, and pretty much their entire lives. She uses them for money, and to sustain her own fame and fortune. Aria was Palermo's best victim. I was going to be her next one, until Aria warned me. Palermo talked to me after the Master Class Showcase, gave me her business card, and tried to trick me into thinking I needed her in order to be successful. Aria set up a crazy plot to get the chance to talk to me alone, without Palermo noticing. She told me the truth about Palermo. Palermo later found out about what happened, and she retaliated by taking all of Aria's money. Aria ran away, and that's why she's hiding now."
"Goodness," said Lillie. "That's... quite a lot to take in all at once. I'm not sure I understand it all."
"There are a lot more details, trust me," said Serena. "That's why Aria is at Clemont's house, though. We're trying to protect her, and to find a way to free her from Palermo's control."
"Should we really be discussing this out in the open?" said Lillie. She looked around as if expecting to see someone looming over her shoulders.
"Maybe not, but it doesn't matter," said Serena. "Palermo definitely knows where Aria is. She won't try to get her back using force, though. It would attract too much attention. For now, all we can do is wait. Aria is pretty much trapped inside the house."
Lillie frowned and looked down at her feet.
"I can understand her reluctance to introduce herself," she said.
Serena bit down on the inside of her lip for a moment and let out a sharp breath.
"There's more to it than that," she said.
"Yes, you did say this was a complicated situation, after all," said Lillie. "I think I understand well enough for now, though."
"I wish that was true."
Serena stopped. Clemont's house stood up ahead in the distance. She bowed her head. Lille stopped next to her.
There was yet another gust of wind. When it passed, Serena turned to face Lillie. She sighed, then spoke.
"Aria being in hiding is part of why she didn't introduce herself," she said. "That's not all there is to it, though. The truth is, she really doesn't want to talk to Ash. She doesn't want him to be there at all."
Lillie looked more confused than ever.
"Why not?" she said.
"Because Aria and I are more than friends. We're... together."
Lillie's mouth opened, and her face went slack. Serena looked away. She couldn't bear to meet Lillie's eyes. She squirmed in place before she continued.
"When I stopped getting Ash's letters, I thought he had stopped sending them because he had moved on. I thought he had chosen you instead."
Lillie bit down on her lip. She shook her head.
"I thought he wasn't coming back," said Serena. "I was wrong."
Lillie shut her eyes. Her head down, she folded her hands together. She didn't move.
Serena glanced up at the house. As she did, she felt a raindrop land on her forehead. She wiped it away with her palm, then held her hand out, palm upward. A few seconds later, she felt another raindrop.
She grimaced up at the sky. Of course it was raining. Why did everything have to be like a movie all the time?
Serena took a step forward. She looked back toward Lillie. Lillie hadn't moved.
"I'm sorry," said Serena. "I've ruined everything, again."
Lillie still did not move. Serena let her gaze linger on Lillie for a moment, then turned away. The raindrops came more steadily now. As she took a few more steps, she wasn't certain if what she heard was the patter of the raindrops on the street or a sniffle. Perhaps it was both.
"We should get going," she said.
She wasn't sure why she bothered. When she entered the house, she entered alone.
When Serena reached the top of the stairs, she saw the door to Clemont's room open. The sound of voices came from inside. She stopped, and so did they. There was movement, followed by hurried footsteps headed in her direction. A moment later, Ash bounded out the door and into the hall.
"Hey, there you are!" he said.
Serena felt herself shrink before him. It was difficult to meet his eyes, let alone take in the expression on his face. She stole a few quick glances at him before biting down hard on her lip and casting her eyes aside.
Ash was so different, and yet so very much the same. His face still shone with the same boundless enthusiasm as always, but his dark eyes showed something deeper. He was more than just excited. They were subtle, but there were other emotions hidden behind the façade, cast in shadow by his sheer brightness. Serena knew where to look, though. She could see them all, plain as day. Worry, confusion, even fear.
"Hi," she said.
The word left her lips like a blade cutting through Ash's sails. He deflated. His shoulders slackened.
"Hey," he said.
"How have you been?"
Serena cringed internally. It was a throwaway question, a transparent diversion.
"Good," said Ash. "What about you, though?"
"Not so good."
Ash made an awkward face. He scratched his neck.
"I'm sorry I was gone for so long," he said.
"It's okay. You were really busy. You had important things to do. I know you did your best to get back to me as quickly as you could."
"Yeah, I did," said Ash.
"Yeah."
Serena tightened her lips and looked at the floor. Ash looked past her, down the stairs. He placed a hand on the back of his neck.
"Did Lillie find you?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Oh, cool," he said. "Did she, uh, tell you what happened?"
"Yes."
Again, Ash's face contorted with awkwardness.
"I'm... really sorry about that," he said.
"Don't be," said Serena. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It's not your fault."
"You're not mad?"
"No."
"Not even at Lillie?"
"No."
"Um... where is she, anyway? Wasn't she with you?"
"She's still outside. She'll be in shortly, I think."
"What's she doing out there? She can't stand the cold! She thought she was going to freeze as soon as we got here!"
"She just... needed a minute to herself, I think."
"Huh? Why? What happened?"
"It's complicated."
"Huh. Okay."
Ash scratched his cheek. He held his head at a slight angle, confusion all over his face. Serena didn't get the impression that he saw much of anything.
"How much do you know about what happened here while you were gone?" said Serena.
"Not a lot," said Ash. "Clemont was filling me in, but he didn't get very far."
"Are you aware that Aria is here?"
"Yeah, but I haven't seen her."
"That's probably because she's hiding from you in the spare bedroom."
"Huh? Why would she hide from me? I'm not gonna turn her over to Palermo or anything!"
"She has more reason to want to avoid you than I think you know," said Serena.
"But why?"
Serena tightened both her lips and her jaw. She drew in a long breath through her nose.
"I'll tell you," said Serena. "I promise I'll tell you. I'll explain everything, but I need to talk to Aria first."
Ash did nothing to vocalize it, but Serena was more than capable of recognizing the disappointment in his eyes.
"I need a few minutes, and then I'll get back to you, I promise," said Serena. "I just... really need to talk to her by myself first. Is that okay?"
Ash hesitated for a moment before he nodded.
"Okay," he said.
Serena nodded at him in return. Trying to avoid his eyes, she stepped past him. She half expected him to reach out and stop her as she passed.
But he didn't. Instead, when Serena looked back she saw Ash's eyes linger on her for one more moment before he turned and went back through the door into Clemont's room.
A chill came over Serena as she stood in the hall, alone. She gazed at the door to the spare bedroom at the far end of the hall, nothing separating her from it but a short expanse of painfully empty space. She stood there for a while, rigid with tension. She only moved again when she heard the front door open downstairs, the sound breaking the suffocating silence. She snapped back to attention from the surprise and blinked, only realizing afterward that her eyes had slid out of focus.
Serena never doubted who was at the door, but Ribombee's impromptu emergence from her Poké Ball made it certain. Chittering, Ribombee buzzed away, disappearing down the stairs.
Serena glanced at the bedroom door again. She shivered. She had no idea what awaited her on the other side of the door, but as she approached, slowly putting one foot in front of the other, she felt as though she were on her way to the gallows.
She took one more deep breath before she placed her hand on the doorknob and turned it. She stepped inside.
The only light came from Aria's bedside lamp. In the dim light, Serena saw Aria seated on the bench by the windowsill, her legs pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. The curtains were open. Aria stared out the window, seemingly at nothing. All that Serena could see through the window in the darkness was the form of raindrops trickling down the exterior glass.
Making as little noise as she could, Serena shut the door behind her. She turned the lock.
"You're back," said Aria.
Aria didn't move. For several seconds, neither did Serena. She stood still in front of the door, hoping not to have to respond. Her throat felt too tight to force words through it. Instead of speaking, Serena slipped her bag off of her shoulder and placed it down on the floor.
As silently as she could, almost on her tiptoes, Serena crossed the room. It occurred to her that it was the first time she had ever been able to walk directly across it. It was completely clean. Aria's job was done.
She stopped beside Aria. Aria remained still. In the dim reflection in the window, Serena saw Aria blink. It was the only movement she made.
Still at a loss for words, Serena remained silent. She thought for a moment. There was not much space on the bench, but there was enough. She stepped around it, then sat down beside Aria.
Startled, Aria turned her head and looked at Serena. Their eyes met, and a moment later, Serena leaned in toward Aria and wrapped her arms around her. Aria went rigid.
"What are you doing?" she said.
"I'm holding you," said Serena.
"Don't," said Aria.
"But-"
"Please, don't."
Aria pushed away. She broke free of Serena's arms, then moved herself a few more inches away, all the way to the far end of the bench. Still, only a short distance separated the two of them.
Serena exhaled a long breath and rubbed her forehead.
"I'm an idiot," she said. "I'm such an idiot."
"Serena."
Aria's tone was sharp. Serena looked and saw something in Aria's eyes that she had seen only one time before. The last time she had seen it was on Aria's yacht, mere minutes prior to throwing herself off of it.
It was anger. Genuine, bitter anger.
"Don't you dare call yourself an idiot for being with me," said Aria.
"That's... not what I meant."
"Then what else could you have meant?" said Aria. "You didn't seem to have any second thoughts about this before he came running back to you like your own personal knight in shining armor."
"You don't understand."
"Oh? And just what do I not understand? I know you didn't come in here to tell me that you still want to be with me. You've already made that perfectly clear with everything you haven't said."
"It's more complicated than that!" said Serena. "Lillie explained some things to me."
"Like what?" said Aria. "That she and Ash aren't really together?"
"What? How do you know that?!"
"It's obvious."
"No, it isn't!"
"It really is."
"Well, it's not obvious to me!"
Aria rolled her eyes. She shook her head.
"Nothing ever is," she said.
Serena halted mid-breath and pulled away an inch or two. It was not the first time she had heard those exact words.
"It's... really not obvious, though," Serena said, almost whispering. "Lillie has feelings for him. She kissed him."
"So what?" said Aria. "He clearly didn't reciprocate, did he?"
"No."
"No surprise there."
"It's a surprise to me!" said Serena. "I thought he stopped writing to me because he had fallen for her instead!"
"Did it occur to you that perhaps he was simply too busy roleplaying as a hero, like he always does?"
"Ash isn't like that."
"He is so like that."
"He doesn't just give up on things! He never does, no matter what!"
"But you thought he did."
"I-"
Serena stopped mid-sentence and froze.
"I thought he gave up on me because I stopped getting letters from him!" said Serena. "There was evidence! What else was I supposed to think?"
"Strange," said Aria. "Evidence has never been enough to convince you of anything before."
"Aria!"
"What? It's true! How many times have you failed to learn from your mistakes despite there being a mountain of evidence that what you were doing wasn't working?"
Incensed, Serena did not reply. Her teeth bared, she clenched both her jaw and her fists. She looked away.
"How many more times are you going to have to burn your life to the ground because of your feelings for him before you realize you don't need him?"
"What?"
"He limits you!" said Aria. "How can you not see that?"
"How can you think that when I've made it perfectly clear how much he's done for me?" said Serena. "He saved me!"
"Sure he did, a long time ago. Things change."
"The only reason you hate him so much is because of my feelings for him!"
"That's not the only reason," said Aria. "I won't deny that it's one of them, though."
"What other reason could you possibly have? You barely know him!"
"It's because of him that I don't get to play any part in controlling my own destiny!"
"What? What are you talking about? Palermo is the one who ruined everything for you!"
"I'm in love with you, and your relationship with him crashed and burned, but it's because he simply exists that I can't have the relationship I want to have with you! And don't even try to pretend that the plan all along hasn't been to wait for him to show up so that he can beat Palermo for me. You can't hide it. I know it's true."
"How... how can you say any of this? How do you know any of this?"
"Serena. Really? It's the most obvious plan in the world."
"Ash can beat her! He's the only trainer we know who will believe us and is strong enough to do it!"
"No thanks."
"What?"
"I'll pass."
"You- You can't be serious!"
"I am. I don't want his help."
"Aria!"
"No. Absolutely not."
"We need him!"
"I most certainly do not need him."
"He can stop Palermo! I know he can do it!"
"Think about what you're saying! Do you have any idea what it would feel like for me to liberated by the person who has taken you away from me? It's adding insult to injury!"
"But you need his help!"
Aria's face flared with anger.
"I absolutely, unquestionably do not need him, and neither do you! Don't you dare imply that I do!"
Serena sat there, silent, watching Aria seethe. She said nothing.
"I refuse his help outright," said Aria. "I would sooner turn myself over to Palermo than degrade myself by allowing him to masquerade as my knight in shining armor. I did not endure all this time in captivity just to become yet another one of his damsels in distress. It's meaningless to him. I am not going to live my life as a footnote on his list of accomplishments, and neither should you."
Serena hung her head.
"Aria, please. Don't do this to yourself."
"I should say the same to you."
"You told me so many times to stop making myself suffer for no reason. Why would you do the same to yourself?"
"Because if he is the one to save me, I will have truly had everything taken from me. Palermo was never able to take away my dignity or my love. If Ash saves me, I would lose both of them, too."
Aria gave Serena a deadpan glare. It made Serena pause for a second, long enough for Aria to shake her head, look away, and speak again.
"I don't know why I tried to convince myself that anything different would happen," she said. "I knew it all along."
Silence fell for a few seconds. Aria's words lingered in Serena's ears. A thought came to her. When it popped into her head, a jolt went through her heart. Her stomach sank as though an ice cube had slipped down her throat and landed in it.
"Ash kept writing to me."
Serena tightened her lips and locked her eyes with Aria's. She continued in a level, dangerously quiet tone.
"He never stopped writing to me," she said. "I bet you knew that, too, didn't you?"
Aria was silent.
"I sent him a letter before I left home. I don't know why, but it never made it to him. It made it back to me, though. I used Clemont's house as the return address. Since it never made it to him, Ash kept writing to my home address. My mom forwarded all of those letters to me here. I didn't get any of those. Something happened to them."
There was a long pause. Serena kept her eyes fixed on Aria, glaring at her.
"Serena."
Aria's voice was quiet as well. She continued.
"Are you accusing me of tampering with your mail?" said Aria.
"It's obvious, isn't it?"
Anger creased Aria's face.
"Think about what you're suggesting!" said Aria. "Do you really think I would do something so underhanded?"
"You've deceived me before."
"I was trying to save you from Palermo's trap! I was trying to help you!"
"You seem to think that separating me from Ash would count as helping me, too."
"In a sense, yes, but this isn't the same kind of situation!"
"You hid Ash's letters from me, didn't you?"
"I did no such thing."
"You had the perfect opportunity to do it," said Serena. "You were stuck here all day while I was at work. You were here every day when the mail arrived. It would have been so easy for you to just take the letters, and I never would have known."
"Serena."
"And you let my returned letter to him slip through on purpose, so that it looked like he had moved on from me."
"Serena, I didn't do it!"
"Prove it."
"How am I supposed to prove my innocence? The justice system abandoned that in medieval times because of how flawed that reasoning is!"
"Who else would have done it?"
"Who else do you think would have done it? We already have someone trying to ruin all of our lives."
"Why would Palermo want anything to do with this?" said Serena. "How would she even do it?"
"I don't know," said Aria. "I told you, she's impossible to predict. She plans too far ahead to understand, and she never makes a direct move unless she's forced into it. With her, nothing is out of the question."
"That sounds like an easy excuse to me," said Serena.
"An excuse for what?"
"For the much more obvious explanation of you stealing Ash's letters when they arrived while I wasn't here!"
"I told you already, I didn't do it!"
"Why should I believe you?"
"Do you trust me at all?"
Serena caught herself before she spoke. She clenched her mouth shut and looked away.
"How could I have possibly hidden them from you all this time?" said Aria. "We share this room! Where could I have kept them? I've been slowly cleaning this place up. The hiding places have been disappearing!"
Serena begrudgingly glanced at all the newfound open floor space.
"Not to mention, you've seen what a nervous wreck I am when I get close to you!" said Aria. "I absolutely melt when I'm with you. How could I have kept something so awful a secret from you for so long? I've been right under your nose the whole time I've been here! And furthermore, I haven't even been here the whole time you have! If you're missing letters from before when I arrived, I couldn't possibly have taken them. I was hiding in an abandoned building and working in a café!"
Serena bowed her head. She stared at her lap.
"I would never do something so hurtful to you," said Aria. "I've never wanted to hurt you."
"I never wanted to hurt you, either," said Serena.
"And we've managed to do it anyway," said Aria. "It's that old cliché. You always hurt the one you love."
Serena glanced at Aria again.
"You... said you were in love with me," said Serena.
Aria bit down on her lip and looked aside.
"I did," she said.
"You've never said that before."
"It's pretty obvious, I think."
Serena took hold of the scarf around her neck with one hand. She tugged at it. She felt too warm.
"It is."
Aria sighed. She shook her head.
"It doesn't matter now," she said. "Not anymore. I know I can't compete with Ash in your head or your heart. I've known it the whole time."
Aria made a strained face, and she glanced up at the window. The rain continued, harder now.
"I think you knew that, too," said Aria. "That's why it took so long for you to admit what was happening between us."
"If you knew it, then... why did you let any of this happen?"'
"Are you serious?" said Aria. "I couldn't help what my feelings were for you! What was the alternative supposed to be? That I never acted on them and sat there aching with loneliness while I watched you unravel from the stress of waiting for Ash to come back to you? Was I supposed to refuse to live my own life?"
"I don't know!" said Serena.
"Maybe it was foolish of me, but I had hope," said Aria. "I wanted to believe that it would work out in the end. I wanted to believe that things really were over between you two."
"But I clearly wasn't over him."
"You left him."
"It wasn't that simple."
"You left him."
"We didn't break up!"
"You left him, and you left him with another girl! You expected that he would fall for her!"
"I mean-"
"I thought you gave up on him! I thought you had finally learned something from all of this!"
"I thought he gave up on me!" said Serena. "I was wrong."
"Do you have any idea what it's like for me to hear you say that?" said Aria. "Do you understand what that implies? It means that my feelings for you don't matter, because his feelings for you are more important!"
"Aria-"
"How can his feelings possibly matter at this point? After everything we've been through together, how can that be relevant anymore? We've been flirting for months! We've been together for weeks now! You can't tell me that you didn't choose this! You wanted this!"
"I-"
"You left him! You left him with another girl! You set him up with her! Now what? He didn't take the easy bait, so he's the one who's more worthy of your love?"
"Please-"
"What does that make me? Your rebound? Your sidepiece?"
"Aria! I really, truly thought I had moved on from him! I was wrong!"
"Oh, so you realize you actually really do still want to be with him as soon as he walks back into your life? So, what then? You were simply with me out of convenience? Because I was here?"
"I didn't realize I was going to feel like this! I thought that he and I had both moved on! All of the signs pointed that way?"
"Is that supposed to be a comfort to me or something? Am I supposed to feel better because you didn't realize any of this?"
"I was tricked!" said Serena. "I made my choice based on bad information!"
"What a delight it is to hear you say that you chose me based on bad information."
"I didn't mean for this to happen! I didn't want this to happen!"
"Of course you didn't want it to happen! Do you seriously think that's a valid excuse? You wanted to have both me and him. You didn't choose me over him! You chose me until he came back for you!"
"I didn't think he was coming back for me anymore!"
"So as soon as you decide you can't count on him to come back to you, you move onto the next person in line? Is that how this works?"
"Aria!"
"Tell me how this is anything other than a completely transparent case of you being willing to throw yourself at anyone who likes you."
"That's not what this is!"
"It's obvious that you are completely desperate to attach yourself to someone, anyone at all who you think can show you the way!"
"I-"
"Can you name one instance in which you declined the advances of someone who was interested in you?"
It took Serena only a moment to think of the counterexample.
"Tierno!" she said. "I wasn't interested in him at all! Same for that guy who moved in next door in Vaniville Town! I wasn't into him, either!"
"That's because you're a lesbian, and you're so obsessed with Ash as your surrogate father figure that you've mistaken it for attraction!"
Serena felt like she had been slapped. Taken aback, she stared at Aria aghast, both her eyes and mouth wide open.
Aria folded her arms.
"Yes, I went there," she said. "Not the best way to approach the subject, but you needed to hear it eventually."
"You-"
"You know it's true."
"You don't know how I feel!"
Aria recoiled from the volume of Serena's reply. It echoed off the walls. The moment of silence that came after was deafening.
"You weren't there!" said Serena. "You weren't there the times I pinned Ash to the ground and made out with him like I wanted to eat him alive! Would you like to hear the details of exactly what I felt? I'll gladly tell you what I wanted to do with him. I'll be as explicit as you like!"
"Spare me the details," said Aria. "I don't think my stomach can take it."
Serena rolled her eyes. Aria spoke again before Serena could fire off her retort.
"I suppose that disproves one part of my theory," said Aria. "Here's a question, though. Exactly how many guys have you felt attraction toward other than Ash?"
"Do you really think I'm going to answer that question?"
"Not necessarily, but I'm making a point!" said Aria. "I've literally never heard you describe any guy other than Ash as attractive, but I've heard you say it about several girls. What am I supposed to assume from that?"
"That I like both!"
"And am I also supposed to ignore the obvious fact that you look up to Ash as a role model in the same way a girl would look up to her father?"
"Leave my dad out of this! What is wrong with you?"
"What's wrong is your idea that you have to be in a relationship! You crave it desperately! You openly admit that seeking out Ash was your entire reason for leaving home! Literally everything you did along the way was either for him or because of him in some way!"
"Ash isn't just some guy! Can't you see that he and I have a relationship that's bigger than that?"
"No! What I see is you blindly chasing after someone you've placed on a pedestal that's so high you can't even see who he really is!"
"You don't know Ash!"
"I know more than enough about him to know that he is never going to be able to give you what you want!"
"He is what I want!"
"You don't want him! You want your idea of him!"
"You don't understand!"
Aria became even more enraged.
"I absolutely understand! I know exactly what it is like for people to want you for their idea of who you are instead of who you really are!"
"That's different! You're a celebrity! Ash is just Ash!"
"He is not just Ash to you."
"I love him!"
"He's your entire world!"
"He-"
Serena stopped herself. Aria had taken the words right out of her mouth.
"How can you not see how unhealthy that is?" said Aria. "He isn't a person to you!"
"Yes he is!"
"He's a concept to you! You can't be in a relationship with an idea! You can't hold someone to that kind of standard! It's impossible for them to live up to it!"
"I don't want him to live up to some ideal! I just want him to be Ash!"
"He's been being Ash this whole time, and look where that's gotten you!"
"It was myfault that everything fell apart, not his!"
"He isn't blameless! He can't be! That's not how relationships work!"
"How would you know that?"
"It's not a matter of experience! It's common sense!"
"Ash isn't responsible for what I did!"
"No, but there are a million things he could have done to be a better boyfriend! Did he ever do anything to help meet your emotional needs? He didn't even notice that anything was wrong until it was too late!"
"That's because I never told him! I never told anyone! It was my fault for not communicating!"
"You shouldn't have to explain to your boyfriend that your jealousy about his interactions with another girl is eating you alive! That should have been obvious to anyone who paid even a bit of attention to you!"
"It's not his fault! Ash just doesn't think that way!"
"Do you really think that you can have a successful relationship with him if he's incapable of understanding anything about your feelings by himself?"
"Yes! I just have to tell him what I'm feeling! I never did, and that was the whole problem! He would do anything for me if I just tell him first!"
"And we both know how talented you are at telling other people about your feelings in a timely manner."
"I've been doing the best I can! Things have been so complicated for so long, and I'm so sick of it! I don't want things to be this way!"
"You make them this way!"
"I didn't do any of this on purpose!"
"That changes nothing."
"It changes everything! I didn't try to trick you! I didn't try to have both you and Ash at the same time! I really, truly thought that he had moved on, and so I thought it was time for me to move on, too!"
"You clearly didn't move on, because you want to go running back to him the instant you found out he still wants you, despite the fact that you're in a relationship with me!"
"I-"
Serena stopped herself. She struggled to think of a rebuttal. Aria spoke again.
"Do I mean nothing to you?"
"Ash saved me! He's my hero! He's given me everything I have!"
Aria clenched her jaw. Her teeth bared, she shook as tears formed in the corners of her eyes.
"You saved me!" she said. "You're my hero! You fought for me! You rescued me! You're the only person I've ever known who didn't want something more from me! You're the only one who wanted me!"
"Aria…"
"Why do you want him more than me? Why am I not good enough?!"
The pooling tears in Aria's eyes overflowed and ran down her cheeks.
Unable to think of an adequate response, Serena tightened her lips and bowed her head.
"My life has been controlled by someone so famous and respected that she can get away with anything she wants, and you are the first person ever to believe me and help me fight back! Even though it puts you in danger, you're still protecting me! Even though we don't have a way to win, you're still fighting for me! But if you're willing to do all that for me, why don't you want me?!"
"I do want you!"
"You want Ash more!"
"I- I don't know what to do!"
"You can't have us both! I know that's what you want!"
"I…"
Serena sighed and slumped her shoulders.
"I don't want to lose either of you!" she said.
"You were separated from Ash for months by your own choice, and now that he's back, you want to be with him again so much that what we have isn't enough to stop you. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?"
Serena didn't respond.
"You two made some unspoken promise to each other about never giving up when you were little kids, and that matters more than everything that has happened between us?"
"You still don't understand how much that meant to me! You never have!"
"How could I? How could anyone? It's ridiculous! You've based your life on the philosophy of a five-year-old!"
"My memories of Ash were the only thing that kept me from running away when I was a kid! Vaniville Town was like a prison! My mom and I fought about everything! The only thing she wanted for me was to follow in her footsteps and fulfill the dreams that she never could because she had to give up on them to take care of me. My dad gave up on her! He even gave up on me! How could I ever give up on anything?!"
"How can you not see how self-destructive that attitude is? So many of your problems have been caused by you refusing to give up even when you should! It's why you never learn from any of your mistakes! Do you really not see that?"
"Of course I see that!"
"Then why can't you let anything go?"
"Because that isn't who I am!"
Serena's reply silenced Aria for a moment, long enough to force Aria to gather her thoughts, and long enough for Serena to continue.
"Do you really think I want things to be like this?" said Serena. "I didn't ask for my brain to work this way! I don't ask my brain to keep me up at night replaying conversations and overanalyzing every interaction. It just happens. I don't want to be like this! I spent years thinking about what Ash said to me every single day. I never forgot! Not a single detail! How could I? What he did mattered more to me than anything else that ever happened to me!"
"How can you be so stuck in the past like this?" said Aria. "Life goes on! Why can't you move on? Ash rescued you from that forest, did he not? Why are you still stuck there?"
"Because he saved my life and I love him!"
"Do you actually love him?"
"Don't even start with this."
"Do you love Ash, or do you love the image you have of him in your mind?"
"Don't."
"Because I think it's the latter. I always have."
"No. Stop. Just stop."
"Do you really want a partner who is oblivious to your emotions and would abandon you at a moment's notice to risk life and limb for a stranger?"
"I said stop! You don't understand!"
"What's your endgame? Do you want to settle down with him? He's never going to be happy living a life like that. I know you know that."
"You don't understand how I feel!"
"I understand enough to know that you're going to continue to put yourself through this no matter the cost and regardless of whether or not it will make you happy."
"Why does that matter to you?"
"Because I care about you!"
"What do you expect to get from this? Are you trying to convince me to let go of my feelings for him so that you can have me for yourself?!"
Aria's composure faltered for a moment, and she struggled to respond.
"I-"
"If that's what you want, it's not working!" said Serena.
"I would be lying to you if I said I didn't want that," said Aria, "but what I want most of all is for you to stop hurting yourself by chasing other people like it's some kind of compulsion!"
"I'm not chasing anyone!"
"Not now! But you chased Ash, and you even chased me, literally! All because you felt like you had to apologize to me, or else things would never be right! Look where that has gotten you! This is the mess you created! You. You created it, all because you refused to give up!"
"I did the right thing! Don't even try to tell me that you would rather still be hiding in an abandoned building!"
"This isn't about me. It's about you. There is no way that this was a better outcome for you than just letting go of everything with me and moving on."
"I couldn't let go! I care about you!"
"You could have gotten exactly what you wanted if you had just stopped following me. No Palermo, no protecting me. Just a fun time with your friends for a couple of months, and you're waiting here with open arms for Ash when he comes back. So easy."
"And what would have happened to you? You needed help! I couldn't just ignore you!"
"No, but perhaps you should have."
"What are you even saying?"
"I'm saying that none of this had to happen, and right now, I wish it hadn't, because it's clearly all over."
Serena froze for a moment, breathless in the silence which followed Aria's words. A knot tightened inside her stomach. She was reluctant to reply.
"...what do you mean?"
Aria closed her eyes and shook her head.
"You know what I mean," she said.
"I..."
"We can't stay together. Not after this."
"You mean-"
"You love someone else," said Aria. "It's as simple as that."
"But-"
Serena couldn't find the right words. In the moment of silence that followed, Aria took a deep, shaky breath.
"We never had a good reason or opportunity to talk about this, and it doesn't matter now, but I want to say it, anyway," said Aria. "I love you. I don't know if you feel that way about me or not, but… well, I like to think that if things had been different, maybe you would have felt that way about me eventually. Maybe we could have had something truly special."
"What do you mean could have?"
Serena was startled by the sound of her own voice, how achingly desperate it was. Aria shook her head.
"I don't want it to be," said Aria, "but… it's over."
"No…"
"Yes, I'm afraid so. The writing is on the wall. It always has been, honestly. I chose to ignore it, but I can't anymore."
"You can't."
"I can."
"You can't just tell me that you love me and then break up with me!"
"I'm telling you the truth. It's time we both admitted the truth."
"What are you talking about?"
"I love you. You love Ash. You don't love me."
"I…"
Serena couldn't understand how there were any more tears available for her eyes to shed, but her heart seized, she clenched her eyes shut, and the drops ran down her face.
"I do love you."
Aria tightened her lips. She grimaced and looked down.
"You love Ash more than me, though. There's no denying it."
Serena stared at Aria, trying not to cry and finding it utterly impossible, at last confronted with the plain, ugly, naked truth of the matter. There was no way to deny what Aria said. She couldn't. It was true.
Aria sniffled. She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye as she looked up and spoke again.
"So, there's no way for us to continue to be together now that he's here," she said. "We can't hide from the truth any longer."
"I can't lose you!"
"There's nothing to be done. There's no helping it. This is simply how things are. You can't have us both."
"I need you!"
"No, you don't. You don't need anyone, actually. I think it's time you stopped hiding from that truth, as well."
"It's not true! I was so lost without you!"
"After all this time, how can you think that I know what I'm doing? I clearly don't. That should have been obvious, too."
Serena did not say anything. She exhaled deeply and hunched over, covering her face with both hands.
"I don't want this, either," said Aria. "But after everything that has happened, everything we've said here today, we can't keep going. There's no way. I wish our circumstances were different, but it's time we accepted the reality of what we have. We can't be together, no matter how much I wish we could."
"But… now what?"
Serena looked up at Aria.
"Hmm?" said Aria.
"What are we going to do?"
"What do you mean? It's finished."
"What are you going to do? Are you going to stay… here?"
Serena gestured around the room. Aria seemed inextricable from it, her handiwork visible in every nook and cranny, not a single object in the room untouched by her. Every single improvement to it was born of her efforts.
"Lillie needs a bed, doesn't she?" said Aria. "I suppose I will finally take up residence on the sofa as I intended to when I first arrived."
"Please, don't-"
"I can't stay here," Aria said, interrupting. "Not now. I can't sleep in the same room as you after… everything. It's too awkward. It would hurt too much."
"Are you going to leave?"
"Maybe," said Aria. "If I can find somewhere else to go, yes. I'm not sure how many options I have, though. I may still be stuck here. And-"
There was a hitch in Aria's voice. She stopped for a moment, swallowed hard, then continued at a volume barely above a whisper, fighting back tears.
"And that's what hurts the most. I'm trapped. I'm out of options. My dreams are dead. You… were the last dream I had."
"I'm not gone," said Serena. "It's not over yet."
"We're over, though. So is whatever future we could have had together."
"Don't," said Serena. "Please don't say that."
"It's the truth, is it not?" said Aria. "All the things that perhaps could have happened… they won't, now."
Serena's heart wrenched.
"Please don't talk like this. Please."
"Why? To avoid the truth for a little while longer?"
Serena held a hand to her forehead and shut her eyes. Two more teardrops fell and pattered onto the floor.
"I wish things were different," said Aria.
"Me too," said Serena.
"I like to think that under slightly different circumstances, we… well, we could have done so much more. We could have been so much more."
"Maybe. I… would have liked that."
"After your visit to my yacht, you made me think. It really is a shame that I don't know how to sail. It made me imagine one day learning how, leaving everything behind and sailing around the world-"
Aria faltered. She paused to sniffle again.
"-with you."
Serena choked back a sob. It came on too suddenly for her to contain it. She clenched her eyes shut and covered her nose and mouth with both hands. For several seconds, she shook as more tears fell, continuing in vain to hold them back. Her voice was strained when she spoke.
"I dreamed of that, too."
For a moment, Aria appeared astonished. As the realization swept over her, her face fell, and she tightened her lips. A grave, forlorn frown on her face, she looked down. She shook her head.
"That would have been lovely, wouldn't it?" she said. "A journey we will never make."
"Don't say that."
"Don't hide from the truth."
"We don't know what will happen."
"We do know some things that will not happen, though," said Aria. "Not all dreams come true. Few do, in fact."
"I don't want your dreams to die," said Serena. "I can't let them die because of me."
"Let it go."
"I wanted to make your life better!"
"You did, for a while. There's nothing more you can do now. Please, let it go."
"How am I supposed to do that?"
"I'm afraid I don't know," said Aria. "I wish I had one more answer for you, but I'm afraid you will have to figure that out on your own. There's nothing more I can do, either, it seems."
"That's not true!"
"Serena…"
Aria looked Serena in the eye. She paused for a while.
"It's been wonderful. It really has. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. It's over, though."
There was another long silence. For a while, neither moved. Then, all at once, Aria stood and took a step away, and Serena reached out and took hold of her hand.
"Don't go," said Serena. "Not yet. Please."
Aria gazed at their hands, their fingers locked together.
"I don't want to do this, you know," said Aria.
Serena's heart throbbed again. The thought came to her mind that she was holding Aria's hand for the last time. She clenched both her jaw and her eyes shut.
Then, for a while, she wept. In near-silence, she sat there holding Aria's hand, sniffling occasionally as the tears fell.
"I don't want to do this, either," she said. "I never wanted things to be this way."
"Nobody falls in love with someone with the intention of breaking up with them," said Aria.
Serena squeezed Aria's hand tighter.
"How are you so calm about this?" said Serena. "I feel like my heart is going to explode!"
"Calm?" said Aria. "I almost shouted myself hoarse at you earlier."
"I mean right now."
"I hide it better than you, I think. Learning how to act is both a blessing and a curse. My heart hurts, too."
Serena looked at Aria and saw that familiar enigmatic smile on her lips, but a terrible sadness in her eyes. It was deeper than sadness, though. There was a weight behind it. Aria looked tired, almost weary, fatigued in a way Serena had never seen before.
"I think," said Aria, "that this is the part where a normal person might say that they want to go home. I don't have one anymore, though. Being here with you was the closest thing to a home that I've had in a long time."
Aria swallowed. She looked toward the window.
"Although, come to think of it, perhaps that fits, given the situation," she said. She looked toward the ceiling. "There's that old saying about home being where the heart is. I don't want to leave you. I do want to go home."
Serena shut her eyes again. She also wanted to go home, but she wasn't sure where that was for her anymore.
"I want all this to end," said Aria. "I'm tired of fighting, and running, and hiding, and pretending. I'm tired of being a fugitive, and an idol, and a possession. I just want to be a girl with her friends and her entire life ahead of her. I just want to be me. I just want to be free."
Aria gave Serena's hand a squeeze.
"It hurts, perhaps more now than it ever did before, but thank you for giving me a taste of that life. I will always cherish it."
Serena stared at Aria, frozen. Aria sighed.
"Well… time for me to go."
As their eyes lingered in contact, Aria's gaze pierced Serena, leaving a bleak feeling of finality in her stomach.
"I don't intend to take back anything I said, nor do I intend to apologize for it, but… I'm sorry for yelling at you," said Aria. "It really wasn't necessary."
Serena disagreed. She wanted to speak, to say anything, to do anything but sit there, but she was paralyzed.
"So… this is goodbye."
Aria pulled her hand away, and she slipped from Serena's grasp. Her gaze lingered on Serena for a moment, long enough for Serena to see a fresh tear streak down from Aria's eye.
Aria turned, took her bag from beside her bed, and left.
Serena was alone.
Time passed. Serena remained seated on the bench by the window, hunched over with her head in her hands. Minutes went by without her being aware of anything at all. She was mentally paralyzed. She knew her grim task was not yet done, and that the worst was yet to come.
A gust of wind brought her back to reality, a bucketful of raindrops all splashing against the window at once. She blinked several times and sat upright. The lamp beside what she supposed was now Aria's former bed remained on. Despite the steady stream of warm, golden light, the room seemed darker than before. There were no more towers of overflowing boxes or stacks of random junk to cast shadows over the room, but somehow the room was cast in deeper shadow than she had ever seen. It felt like the shadow loomed over her, but when she turned to look, there was nothing there.
Empty space. Nothing at all.
The shadow was her own.
She looked toward the door. It remained closed. A thin ribbon of faint light peeked in from the hall through the gap beneath it. Beside the door was her bag, remaining where she had dropped it upon entering the room.
After staring for a while, she rose from the bench. Her bones ached. Despite carrying nothing, she could not remember ever feeling so heavy. There was a terrible weight on her shoulders, a burden hung over her neck. She looked down. She still wore the scarf. The scarf was still as bright as ever. The rich scarlet hurt her eyes.
She reached for the scarf, ready to remove it. Just as her fingers touched the fabric, she paused.
The thin ribbon of light under the door was severed. Two shadows interrupted it. Two feet.
There was a knock at the door.
"Serena?"
Serena's heart lurched. It was Ash. She scurried toward the door.
"Coming!" she said.
Before she reached the door, Ash opened it. Serena stopped in her tracks, only halfway across the room. Their eyes met. Serena would have asked why, but the miscommunication was obvious. He had thought she said come in.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey."
The dim, golden light made Ash's eyes shine a darker color than usual. The fire that had been in them earlier was gone. There was only one emotion behind them now. His excitement had been replaced by worry.
Ash stepped into the room. He left the door open as he entered, looking all around.
"What happened in here?" he said. "I heard a lot of yelling."
Serena wanted to cringe. She supposed it should have been obvious. There was no way that she and Aria had not been overheard by the rest of the house.
"Aria and I had a fight," she said.
"A fight?" said Ash.
"Not a fistfight or anything," said Serena. "An argument."
"About what?"
"A lot of things. There was no avoiding it, really. It was going to happen eventually."
"Huh?"
"Things are really complicated between me and Aria," said Serena.
"Yeah, I guess they are," he said. He glanced back out toward the hall for a moment. "I saw her go downstairs. I think she was... crying."
Serena nodded.
"She was."
"Why?" said Ash. "What happened?"
Serena shut her eyes and tightened her lips as she drew in a long, deep breath. There was no avoiding anything anymore. It was now or never.
"There's a lot that I need to explain to you," Serena said, meeting Ash's eyes again.
"Please, tell me," he said. "I'm really confused."
"Yeah, you have every reason to be confused," said Serena.
"I don't get it," said Ash. "Everything is so weird here. I thought everyone would be a lot more excited to see me. Especially... you."
Serena clenched her jaw and her eyes shut for a moment before she found the nerve to continue.
"You wrote to me every week while you were away," she said.
"Well, almost every week," Ash said, briefly rubbing the back of his neck. "I think I missed a couple. Sorry about that."
"Don't be sorry," said Serena. "I just wish I had known."
"Huh?"
"I only got about half of your letters. The first half, actually. I stopped getting them after I moved in here."
A lightbulb seemed to flash inside Ash's head.
"That's because I sent them to your house in Vaniville Town!" he said. "I bet your mom has them."
"She got them all," said Serena. "She tried to send them here to me, but they never showed up."
"Aw man, really?" said Ash. "They all got lost?"
Serena shook her head.
"I don't think they got lost," she said. "Not by accident, anyway. That's not the point, though."
Ash tilted his head. He narrowed his eyes. Serena continued.
"I didn't know about any of this until I talked to Lillie," she said. "She's the one who told me that you wrote to me every week, the whole time you were gone. But... I didn't know. I tried to write to you once, but my letter never made it to you. It got returned to me."
Serena tightly folded her arms. She looked away for a moment and paused to take a long breath. She let it out in one big puff.
"I didn't know," she said, shaking her head. "To me, it looked like something very different was happening. I stopped getting your letters, and my letter to you got sent back to me, and you started showing up in the news with Lillie. I saw pictures of you two together. I saw you riding on that legendary Pokémon together, saving the world together. I thought..."
Serena looked Ash in the eye again. Though his mouth hung slightly open, he was silent.
"I thought that you had stopped writing to me. I thought it was because-"
Serena looked up at the ceiling and shut her eyes, rubbing her temples.
"I can't believe I'm saying this," she said. "It sounds so stupid saying it to your face."
"Saying what?" said Ash.
"I thought you stopped writing to me because you chose Lillie instead of me. I thought you, you know, fell for her. Like she did for you."
Ash stared at her.
"It made sense to me at the time, I swear," said Serena. "It just sounds... really, really dumb now."
She pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I'm an idiot," she said. "I'm such an idiot."
"Why did you think I would do that?" said Ash.
"Because-"
Serena had to catch herself as she felt the oncoming wave of emotion welling up in her throat. Her head throbbed as she tried to push it back down. She didn't understand how she could possibly have any tears left to shed.
"...because I broke our promise," she whispered.
Ash's face slackened. Wide-eyed and wordless, he stared. Serena shook her head. She swallowed, hard. When she drew in a breath through her nose, it produced a sniffle despite her best efforts.
"I gave up," she said. "I gave up on you. I'm sorry."
Aside from blinking, Ash was motionless.
"That's why- well... the fight Aria and I had. We... broke up."
It seemed to take several seconds for Ash to assemble all the pieces of the puzzle. Biting down hard on the insides of her lips, trying in vain to stall the tears even as they began to fall, Serena watched Ash's face change. In slow motion, the tension fell from his shoulders. His head tilted downward. His wide eyes sagged under the weight of a different emotion. That same emotion caused his lips to close and to press together into a forlorn frown. He stared at the floor.
"I... see," he said.
At long last, Serena's heart broke. Clenching her entire body was not enough to push back the bitter sob that sputtered out through her teeth.
Ash stuffed his hands into his pockets. He looked up at her for just a moment, then slowly turned and walked out the door. On the other side of the threshold, with his back to her, he paused. Then, without looking, he reached behind himself and pulled the door shut.
Serena sank to her knees, then collapsed on the floor.
