Chapter Twelve - Losing Faith

Dear Ash,

It's been so long that I'm not sure what to say first. You wouldn't believe how long my hand hovered over this paper while I tried to figure out what words to write. Well, maybe you would, actually. You know me. That's not the point, though! The point is that I have a lot to tell you and I don't know where to start. I guess anywhere works, though, so the first thing I want to say is that I'm sorry.

I know I've apologized a lot. Even though I've done it so much, I'm honestly not very good at it. I always apologize for "everything," or for no reason at all. That's different this time, though, because I've got a few very specific things to apologize for. I want to apologize to you for not telling you what was wrong until it was too late. I hope you haven't blamed yourself for anything that happened, because it wasn't your fault. I should have told you much sooner about how I felt about you helping Lillie. The only way you could have known about how I felt would have been for you to read my mind, and that wasn't fair to you at all. Everything that happened was because I was too scared to tell everyone the truth about what I felt. I'm sorry that I didn't have enough courage.

My words on this page are no substitute for speaking to Lillie directly, and I am in no position to ask either of you for anything. Still, I would like to ask you to please pass my apology along to Lillie. I want to apologize to her for betraying her trust. The dishonesty I showed her and my invasion of her privacy was inexcusable. I don't expect her to ever forgive me. I wouldn't blame her one bit if she never did. I definitely haven't forgiven myself, and I'm not sure how I ever will. What I did to her has to be the worst thing I've ever done to anyone. I don't know how I can ever make it up to her, but I want to try, one day.

Lillie said in her final note to me that she wanted me to come back to Alola when I was ready, and I know that you never wanted me to leave. I don't think I'm going to come back, though. It doesn't feel right. It's weird to say this because it's been so long, but not much has happened since I left. I went home, and I've spent almost all of my time since then working on the ranch with my mom. I won't lie – I hate it here, but at least all the work has kept me busy and out of trouble. My mom and I have been getting along better than we used to, which is really nice. Things aren't perfect between the two of us, but we don't fight very often anymore, and she's been really understanding of me even though I've never really explained what happened. I wish she would stop trying to set me up with the boy who moved in next door, but that's another story.

Your letters have been wonderful. I don't know how to tell you how much I appreciate them. Up until today, they were the only interesting thing to happen during my time here. I was almost too scared to read them at first, believe it or not. I was afraid of what you would say to me. I'm so glad I found the courage to open them. I'm touched that you would think so much of me and go to so much effort to write to me every week. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but I've kind of been following your journey from afar. I feel like a weird fangirl saying this, but I actually made my own map of Alola and tried to chart your progress based on what you tell me every week. I've been looking up all the Pokémon I don't recognize and reading about all the places you've been. It sounds like it's been incredible. I wish I could have been there with you.

I miss you. A lot. It feels weird to say it, but I've never really admitted it to myself in all the time I've been here. I've been trying not to think about what happened, or much of anything, really. I don't know if this makes any sense, but it's kind of like I've been sleepwalking this whole time. I've just been here, waiting. Waiting for you. Waiting for anything to happen, really. Today was the first time anything worth mentioning has happened since I got here, and I guess that's why I'm writing back to you know. I should have tried to write back to you sooner. I didn't know where I was supposed to send my letter since you move around so much, but I could have at least tried. I'm sorry I didn't.

I thought today was going to be another normal day, but when I woke up and went outside I saw the full moon on the horizon. It was a deep, rusty red instead of silver or white. I remembered seeing the same thing once before with you and Clemont and Bonnie – a lunar eclipse. Did you see it in Alola, too? I'm not sure how that works, with you on the other side of the world and all. I'm sure Clemont explained it to us, but I definitely forgot what he said as soon as he said it. You know how it is. Anyway, all of my Pokémon and my mom's Pokémon were gathered together in the field, watching it. I don't really understand what happened or why, but Cutiefly was super excited, and she did some kind of dance in front of the moon, and then she evolved. She's Ribombee now, apparently. I had to look it up. I'm not sure what to make of it, but please let Lillie know that she's doing just fine!

Ribombee's evolution wasn't the only thing that happened today, though. Around midday, I had visitors for the first time since I came back here. Clemont, Bonnie, and Korrina showed up! I thought their visit was unannounced, but it turns out that my mom knew about it ahead of time. I didn't know it, but Clemont had called looking for me and ended up talking to my mom, and my mom ended up talking to Clemont and Bonnie's dad, and somehow that all ended up with their dad offering me a job at his shop in Lumiose City. It's all happened so fast, and it honestly sounds kind of crazy, but I'm writing this right now while Bonnie and Korrina are asleep in my room after spending the rest of the day helping me pack. I accepted the offer, and we're all leaving together tomorrow morning.

That's why the return address on this letter is for Clemont's house instead of mine, if you haven't noticed. It's weird to write this or even think it, but I'm going to be living there for a while. I'm not sure how long, but I guess as long as it takes to do whatever work Clemont and Bonnie's dad has for me. So, assuming this letter finds its way to you, please write to me at my new address instead!

I wish I had time to say more, but I need to put this letter in the mail tomorrow morning, and I really need to get some sleep. I hope that you, Lillie, and all of your Pokémon are doing great, and I wish nothing but the best for all of you. I hope I hear from you again soon. Even more, I hope I can see you again soon. I miss you so much, but I understand that what you're doing is important. Take all the time you need, and I'll be waiting here for you.

It's not over. I'll never give up. I promise.

Love,

- Serena


Serena's vacant eyes lingered over the page even though the handwritten words had long since ceased to look like words. A restless night had become a gray, dreary morning. Raindrops continued to fall from the dull sky, but not with the intensity of the previous night. Instead, they were now little more than a persistent mist, an annoyance more than anything else.

A damp chill hung in the air. Serena sat upright in her bed with the comforter draped over her shoulders and wrapped fully around herself. She suspected that the rain would be snow if it were any colder outside. She wondered if the rest of the house was as cold as her room, or if perhaps the heat to her room had been cut off as punishment.

She was not alone. Not entirely, anyway. There had not been so much as a knock at the door nor even any footsteps past it since Ash's departure the night before. In the absence of human company, Serena had turned to her Pokémon instead. Pancham rested in her lap, evidently more motivated by his desire to stay warm than his desire to appear cool. Sylveon sat curled up beside her, nestled against her leg. Delphox, meanwhile, sat in her typical mediation pose in her preferred corner on the far side of the room.

The emptiness was suffocating. Not long ago, the room had been so full. Gone were the stacks of overflowing boxes towering above and the tangled mess of cables below. So painfully visible in the now-empty room was the other bed, both of its previous occupants now gone. Once upon a time, Aria's Delphox had sat opposite where Delphox sat now, participating in some kind of incomprehensible training session. There was nothing there anymore. Not even dust.

The paper which Serena held in her hands may as well have been blank. It was impossible for her to read it anymore. She had long since lost count of how many times she had run her eyes over the page, both front and back. Beside her on the bed sat a battered envelope, torn open so roughly that the large, red RETURN TO SENDER stamp on the front of it was partially severed. She vividly remembered staying up late into the night, writing the words on the page in secret. She had meant every single one of them. It somehow felt like it was just yesterday and also a lifetime away at the same time.

Once, the letter had represented hope. A new beginning. A new chapter of her life. A chance to make things right. Now, it left her feeling hollow. Empty. Vacant. Dead. It was the physical manifestation of yelling into the void. Words unheard, prayers unanswered, a message with no receiver. It was a dream of a past that never happened and a future that never would.

Serena didn't cry. She didn't feel sad, or angry, or embarrassed, or much of anything at all. Mostly, she felt nothing. Completely blank, she sat there hopelessly adrift inside her own mind. She didn't move. She didn't think. She barely even breathed as time passed in desolate silence.

And then, she flinched in surprise as she felt the paper in her hands tug against her grip. Startled, Serena straightened up and blinked several times, shaking the haze from her eyes. When her eyes slid back into focus, she did not find a hand trying to pull the letter away from her. Instead, she found a different sort of appendage.

Sylveon gripped the top of the page with the end of one of her feelers. Her glassy eyes filled with worry, she gazed up at Serena, on the verge of whimpering. As Serena slowly came back to reality, she realized that all of Sylveon's feelers were occupied in some manner. One was trying to pull the letter away from her. Another was rubbing the back of her hand, urging her to let go. The other two rubbed her arm and the back of her neck.

For the first time in longer than she could recall, Serena remembered that Ribombee was not the only Pokémon capable of sensing her emotions. She slumped her shoulders. Before she could say anything or even begin to relinquish the letter to Sylveon, Pancham jumped up from her lap and snatched it away.

"Hey!"

After hours of absolutely nothing, everything happened at once. Pancham leaped from the bed and landed on the floor, letter in hand. Serena knew what was sure to come next. In a mere fraction of a second, the letter was certain to become nothing more than a crumpled wad of paper. She flung the covers away, extracting herself from the cocoon she had created. Sylveon cried in protest at both Serena and Pancham. Serena put one foot on the floor. Everything came to a halt.

With a twitch of her ears and a flick of her wrist, Delphox brandished her wand from what seemed like thin air. Her eyes snapped open, glowing indigo. Pancham froze in place. A moment later, the letter began to float away, rising gently into the air above his head. Serena placed her second foot on the ground, then rose from the bed and quickly retrieved the letter. Folding it once again along the existing creases, she stuffed it back into the tattered envelope, then placed the envelope back inside her bag. It was not until Serena zipped the bag shut that Delphox released Pancham.

Pancham shot a threatening glare at Delphox. Delphox's only response was to shut her eyes and tuck her wand away again.

"I get that you were worried about me, but there are better ways to show it, you know," Serena said with her arms folded, eyes squarely on Pancham.

Pancham slid his sunglasses over his eyes and folded his arms in kind.

"I probably should have put the letter down a long time ago," said Serena. "Really, I shouldn't have read it at all. I get that. I knew it wasn't a good idea. I just... felt like it was important for me to do it."

Pancham tilted his head.

"That... probably makes no sense, does it?" said Serena.

Pancham turned away and hopped up on the windowsill. Serena looked back at Sylveon. Sylveon held up the comforter with all four of her feelers as if trying to encourage Serena to put on a coat. Serena smiled sadly in return.

"I'm a disaster, aren't I?" she said. "You all are the ones taking care of me."

Serena accepted the comforter from Sylveon and draped it over her shoulders again. It was still warm. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Thank you."

When she opened her eyes again, Serena wandered toward the center of the room. She expected Sylveon to reach out, grab her, and beckon her back to bed, but the touch she expected never came. Instead, the cold floorboards gently creaked as she moved further and further away, approaching the far side of the room.

She stopped. She stood in front of Delphox, an arm's length away. Trying not to make any noise, she lowered herself to the floor. Occupying the empty space, she sat down.

Everything was quiet. Serena was confident that Delphox was aware of her presence, but she received no response. Once the awkward moment had dragged on for long enough, Serena spoke.

"So, I guess this is it from now on."

Delphox opened her eyes. For a split-second, Serena expected to see them aglow, and for Delphox to push her away, to silence her, to end the would-be conversation before it began. Instead, Serena saw Delphox's eyes looking decidedly dark. There was no psychic light inside them. Instead, there was something that Serena couldn't quite explain. There was something more. Something else. It was hard to understand, because the longer she looked, the more it looked like nothing.

Serena broke eye contact and looked down at her lap.

"I... don't know what's going to happen now. I've screwed up worse than I ever have before. I'm not sure if anyone here wants me around anymore. It wouldn't surprise me if no one here ever wanted to talk to me again. I've... been a really bad friend."

It was almost imperceptible, but Serena sensed Delphox's attention on her sharpening.

"I've been a bad trainer, too. I've pretty much ignored you all while I was busy focusing on Aria. I know it's not much, but... I regret that. I wish I had made a better decision."

Serena looked up again, but only for a moment. It was hard to hold Delphox's unblinking gaze.

"I don't know what to do. I don't think that Ash, Aria, or Lillie want anything to do with me anymore. Meyer probably isn't going to be happy when he finds out that Aria and I were more than just roommates. Clemont and Bonnie... well, I really don't know what they're going to think about all of this."

Serena shook her head.

"And Ribombee has been glued to Lillie since she arrived. I'm not sure if she's, uh, on our team anymore. I mean, I think she's technically Lillie's Pokémon? I don't even know anymore."

Without looking, even from a distance Serena felt Sylveon's heart sink.

"So, yeah. I think it may be just us, now. Just the four of us, I mean."

Once again, Serena tried to meet Delphox's eyes and found it too difficult to hold her gaze. Again, there was definitely, tangibly something more behind Delphox's eyes. Serena's head throbbed, and she averted her eyes. There was a message in Delphox's expression that was perfectly clear to Serena – how wrong Delphox thought she was. Wrong about what remained another question, though.

For the umpteenth time, the thought crossed Serena's mind that Delphox knew something that she did not. With a grimace, she rubbed her forehead and then spoke.

"Delphox, do you-?"

The door opened. Serena stopped mid-sentence and turned her head, along with everyone else in the room.

Lillie poked her head through the opening. She looked around, seemingly afraid to enter.

"Oh!" she said. "Am I interrupting something?"

Serena gave Lillie a strange look, uncertain what to think. More than anything, she could not even begin to imagine why Lillie was there.

"Um... not really?" said Serena.

"My apologies for the intrusion," said Lillie. "I didn't think I heard anything from outside, so I assumed it was safe for me to enter."

Serena wondered exactly how quietly she had been speaking. Lillie stood halfway hidden behind the door, with one foot inside the room. After a moment of awkward silence, Serena saw Clefairy peek her eyes out from behind Lillie's leg.

"May we come in?" said Lillie.

"Yes," said Serena. She nodded, then rose to her feet.

Lillie stepped through the doorway and fully entered the room, Clefairy in tow behind her. To Serena's surprise, she closed the door.

A strange standoff ensued. Serena wasn't sure what was more bizarre – the she was wearing her comforter like some kind of cape, or that Lillie had a bag over her shoulder and did not seem to be in a hurry to leave.

"-but... why?" said Serena.

Lillie looked confused.

"I'm not sure I understand your question," she said.

"Why are you here?" said Serena. "Why would you want to come in here?"

Lillie blinked several times before responding.

"Do you not want me in here at the moment?" she said. "I can leave and come back if another time would work better."

"No," said Serena. As soon as the word left her mouth, she scrambled to put it back in, then stumbled over her words when she realized she couldn't. "I mean, no, it's not that! I just- I don't understand why you're here!"

Lillie frowned, and she looked at her feet for a moment before looking up again.

"I have a few reasons for being here," she said. "I must admit, though, that I am also rather confused. I thought you would be much more eager to have company after the events of last night, and after being up here alone for so long."

"I can't believe that you would want to be anywhere near me."

Lillie bit down on the interior of her lip for a moment.

"I think want may not be the best word to describe the situation."

"Then please tell me what's going on."

"Well, there are a few things happening at the moment," said Lillie. "I'm here in part because of my concern for you, but I'm also here in part because it has been agreed upon that this room is to become my temporary residence."

Serena's eyes widened.

"Wait, what?"

"Aria has made it clear that she prefers to remain on the sofa downstairs for the time being, so that leaves me with the choice of either a sleeping bag on the floor in Bonnie's room or a proper bed in this room. Forgive me, but I made what seems like the obvious choice, albeit a selfish one."

Serena stared at Lillie.

"You do realize that this is my room, too, don't you?" she said.

"Yes, I do," said Lillie. "That does not deter me."

"How can you possibly want to room with me ever again?"

"Because despite everything, I would prefer to believe that people can change for the better."

Serena hesitated for a moment. Unsure what to think, her lips parted and her eyes narrowed. She shook her head.

"How can you think that about me?" she said. "I changed for the worse."

"I've seen people far more heartless than you change for the better," said Lillie. "It's never too late."

"It's too late for me."

Lillie's frown tightened. Her next words came more forcefully than before.

"I can assure you that it is not."

"I can't undo what I've done!" said Serena.

"No one can undo anything they've done," said Lillie. "That doesn't mean the story of your life is over, though! Your story is still being written, and whether or not you realize it, you're the one who's writing it."

Serena recalled her final night on the beach in Alola, and the many bizarre things she had said about feeling like a side character in her own story, and about not being in control of her life. She had a distinct feeling that Lillie's words had a deeper meaning.

"I'm a pretty bad author, then," Serena grumbled, folding her arms and looking away. From the corner of her eye, she saw Lillie's shoulders sink.

"I don't want to overdo it with this metaphor, but the reason that your story keeps turning out the same way every time is because you keep writing it that way, so to speak. You think so lowly of yourself and you continue insisting that you are a bad person who deserves to be hated by the world, and so your actions mirror your thoughts."

"I never thought about breaking into your diary or cheating on Ash!"

"I'm certain that's true, but that's not quite what I mean."

"Do you really think I wanted any of this to happen? I've been trying as hard as I can to prevent it!"

"I know that you did not intend to hurt anyone else," said Lillie. "You care very deeply for a lot of people, and there are many people who care deeply for you. The reason you've hurt those people is not because you wanted to hurt them directly. You hurt them indirectly by hurting yourself first."

Serena stared at Lillie, unable to think of any way to respond. Lillie continued.

"Maybe this is too personal a question for me to ask," Lillie said, shifting awkwardly in place. She glanced at her feet for a moment and tightly folded her hands together. "I only ask because... well, I understand exactly what it feels like. Do you... hate yourself?"

"Yes."

Serena could not believe how quickly the word left her mouth. She said it reflexively, without a single thought or an instant of hesitation. Her eyes widened and she looked down at herself almost as if expecting to find some culprit who had tricked her into saying it. The only culprit she found was herself.

"It's a self-fulfilling prophecy," said Lillie. She shook her head with a forlorn smile on her lips. "We defeat ourselves before the battle is ever fought. We believe something about ourselves, and whether or not that belief is originally true, we make it true."

Serena's head and shoulders sank.

"How am I supposed to stop it?" she said. "I can't change what I feel."

"Not directly, anyway," said Lillie. "You can change your actions, though. You can think about things differently, and you can make different choices. You have more power than you realize."

Serena glanced up at Lillie again and saw the same bittersweet look lingering on her face and in her eyes. The smile on Lillie's face was somehow blatantly false and completely honest at the same time. It expressed not happiness, but something else. The longer Serena looked, the more she was struck by how much Lillie had changed.

There was no doubt who was responsible for that.

"Did Ash tell you that?" said Serena.

"Not as succinctly, but yes," said Lillie. "He helped me understand a lot of things about myself, and about others."

Serena looked out the window.

"I'm glad he could help you," she said. "I knew how much you needed him. That's why I had to leave. One of the reasons, anyway."

"If there were no additional context to your decision to leave so that he could help me to his fullest potential, it would be one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me."

"That's... sad."

"I don't think so," said Lillie. "I prefer not to think of it that way. I would rather not dwell on the bad when I see so much good around me."

Serena scoffed.

"What good do you see here?" she said.

"Quite a lot, actually," said Lillie. "It's easy for me to say this since I have such a different perspective on everything, but it would be more obvious to you if you could view all of this through a different lens, so to speak."

"You mean, if I could put myself in someone else's shoes?"

"That's another way of saying it."

"I'm trying to do that, and it's not working!"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't understand what anyone else is thinking!" said Serena. "How can you stand to be around me? First, I violated your privacy and destroyed your most treasured personal belonging because of my insecurity and my fear that you would take Ash from me. Then, he rejected your advances because he was still committed to me, but when you arrived here it turned out that his commitment to me was for nothing because I had given up on him and was with somebody else! Why would you ever want to talk to me again?"

"The situation isn't that simple," said Lillie. "You lost faith in Ash because somebody interfered with his communication with you and made it look like he had abandoned you. I don't know who, but somebody deceived you."

"That doesn't make what I did okay!"

"I didn't say it did," said Lillie. She shook her head.

"Ash didn't lose faith in me, and he never heard a word from me!"

"I think you know firsthand that it can be very difficult to change Ash's mind once he's made a decision."

Serena rolled her eyes.

"Well, yeah," she said. "That's not the point, though. We made a promise, and I broke it. He didn't give up, and I did."

"True as that may be, it does not mean that your story is over," said Lillie. "There is more for you to write. This isn't the end."

"It feels like the end."

"It doesn't have to feel that way."

"How could it not feel that way? I ruined everything, again!"

"You can't mend a broken promise, but you can make new ones."

Serena looked at Lillie again with a very flat expression.

"Why would anyone believe me when I promise them anything?"

"I would believe you."

Serena's face contorted in frustration and disbelief.

"Why?" she said. "Why would you ever believe me again? Why are you even here? You never answered me!"

"You mean, aside from becoming your roommate again?"

"Yes, but-"

Serena held out her hands, palms up, grasping at air.

"Just... why?"

"Everyone deserves to have someone who supports them."

"I don't deserve your support!"

"That is for me to decide."

Lillie's reply was terse. Serena went silent.

"It is impossible to go through life without getting hurt," said Lillie. "We can choose to carry the weight of that pain with us forever, or we can choose to let go of that burden and forgive. We can choose to dwell on our misfortunes, or we can choose to appreciate the good that those misfortunes eventually create. We can choose to hate, or we can choose to love. I have made my choice. You will not change my mind."

Serena stared at her feet. After a few seconds of silence, Sylveon came up to her and rubbed against her leg, then wrapped her feelers around her leg in something like a hug.

"To answer your question in full, I am here because I want to support my friends," said Lillie.

Serena bit her lip. She did not look up. She whispered.

"Does that include... me?"

Lillie nodded.

"I forgave my mother. Forgiving you is very easy in comparison."

Emotion welled up in Serena's throat, but no tears came. She supposed she really had none left. Instead, heat washed over her face. She continued to stare at the floor.

"Thank you, but... I don't deserve it," she said.

"If that is how you feel, then you can change it," said Lillie. "It's not too late. You can choose to make things different. You can make different choices. You can make yourself feel worthy of deserving it."

Serena closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath.

"I hope I can," she said.

Her eyes jolted open again when she felt Lillie wrap her arms around her.

"I know you can."

Serena returned the embrace. It did not last for long, only a few seconds longer. When they separated, Lillie folded her hands in front of herself and smiled at Serena once again. Before she spoke, she broke eye contact and looked away.

"I... spent a lot of time last night with Aria," said Lillie. "She needed some support, and truthfully, so did I."

Serena grimaced.

"I'm sorry."

Lillie ignored Serena's would-be apology and paused for a moment before speaking again.

"She explained a great deal about what has been happening here while Ash and I were on our journey in Alola," said Lillie. "As bizarre as her situation is, I have to admit that I feel a great deal of sympathy for her. She and I have a lot in common, actually. We both know what it is like to be held prisoner by the person who is supposed to be responsible for taking care of you, for one."

Serena tightened her lips. She nodded.

"She also told me that you rescued her," said Lillie. "She said that you have done so much to try to help her feel included and to make her life better while she is stuck here."

"Well, yes," Serena said, barely audible. "I did."

Lillie's smile changed. One corner of her mouth raised just a bit higher than the other, looking ever so slightly sly. She seemed almost amused.

"She even said that you came up with a plan to protect her so you could take her out for her birthday, and that you had a surprise birthday cake waiting for her when you returned."

Serena blushed.

"I did."

"Even after what has happened between you two, you still want to help her, don't you?"

Serena nodded.

"Yes, I do."

Although the hints of mischief had faded, Lillie's smile persisted.

"There is no way a person could ever care so much for someone else and be a bad person themselves," said Lillie.

"I want to believe you," said Serena.


Serena supposed it was to be expected after staring into space for hours, but she completely lost her sense of time. Her typical morning routine in the bathroom was an exercise in futility. She was so disoriented that it took twice as long as usual. When she got dressed again afterward, even getting her shoes on the correct feet was an ordeal. Everything felt so strange. By the time she went downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat, it was already mid-afternoon.

Much to her chagrin, she did not have the kitchen to herself. She stopped on the bottom step when she realized she was not alone. Ash sat in a chair pulled out beside the kitchen table. He slouched in his seat, leaning back with his feet propped up on the windowsill. Pikachu sat in his lap. In silence, he gazed out the window and stroked the fur behind Pikachu's ears.

Serena's final footstep at the bottom of the stairs seemed to alert him. He straightened up and turned his head. Inwardly, Serena winced. She did not want to be seen, least of all by him.

But he saw her. There was a mere moment of recognition, the briefest contact with the corner of his eye. He instantly looked away.

"Oh, hey."

Serena's stomach sank. Ash's greeting was completely flat.

"Hey."

Proceeding on her tiptoes, Serena took a few silent steps into the room. Regardless of how quiet she thought she was, she knew it wasn't enough to hide her entrance. In Ash's lap, Pikachu's ears twitched. He opened his eyes and sat up, then peeked over Ash's shoulder. The instant he saw Serena, he beamed with excitement and hopped down from the chair, then bounded across the kitchen and jumped up into her arms. He squealed with delight as he snuggled tightly against her.

"And hello to you, too, Pikachu," said Serena.

She knew better than to say it out loud, but she wanted to add that it was nice to see someone who was actually happy to see her. She suspected that Pikachu's excitement was entirely because he didn't understand what had happened, even if Ash had explained it to him. She figured that human relationships probably made as little sense to Pokémon as Pokémon relationships meant to humans. She certainly had never understood what was going on between Delphox and Greninja. They weren't even supposed to be genetically compatible. She knew. She had checked.

Strange Pokémon drama aside, Serena was grateful to feel something familiar, if only for a moment. Pikachu's boundless joy was like a flashback to another time in living, breathing form, like a fond old memory she could hold in her arms.

Ash set his feet down on the floor again and turned in his chair to face the two of them. This time, he did not look away. Serena knew he wasn't looking directly at her, though. His eyes hovered just below hers. He was looking at Pikachu. The look on his face said everything. It spoke words that Ash could never say, a nostalgic smile of sadness. It made Serena's heart ache.

Several seconds passed in uncomfortable silence. Desperate not to address the obvious topic looming over them, Serena spoke.

"I didn't get the chance yesterday, but I want to congratulate you two," she said. She looked down at Pikachu. It was so much easier.

Curious, Pikachu peered up at her. In the periphery of her vision, Serena saw Ash's eyes shift.

"Congratulations on becoming champions," she said. "I'm really happy for you guys."

Serena shifted her own gaze upward and met Ash's eyes, at last. The connection lasted long enough for Ash to raise a hand to the back of his neck.

"Thanks," he said. He rubbed the back of his neck like he always did. He looked away bashfully like he never had before.

"I know you worked really hard to get there," said Serena. "You earned it. Really, you deserved it."

"It wasn't that hard," Ash said, half-shrugging. "All I had to do was beat the Elite Four and then Professor Kukui, and I already beat three of them bef-"

"Professor Kukui?"

Serena interrupted Ash mid-sentence, her face scrunched up in confusion. Ash knowingly glanced at her and nodded.

"Yeah," he said. "Turns out he wasn't really faking it as a wrestler. He's super strong."

It took Serena's brain several seconds to reboot after encountering such an egregious error. Having lived with him, her recollection of Professor Kukui consisted primarily of a man who was barely capable of dressing and feeding himself, with a flagrant disregard for his own safety and an apparent vendetta against his personal property.

But then again, he somehow convinced Professor Burnet to marry him. Human relationships didn't make much sense, either.

"He was tough, but I kinda knew we were gonna win," said Ash. "His Incineroar was really strong, but he couldn't beat Greninja and me."

"Can anyone?"

"I dunno," said Ash. "When we're in sync, it feels like we can't lose. I knew that all I had to do to win was make sure Greninja was ready to go against Incineroar. I did, and we won."

Ash shrugged again. He looked and sounded unimpressed with himself.

The phrase that came to mind for Serena was that she wished she had been there to see it. Given the circumstances, it didn't seem like the right thing to say. She dug deeper for something else, anything to keep the conversation going.

"Did you use some of your old Pokémon?" said Serena. "As strong as they are, I'm sure that would have made it easy."

There was a faint flicker of light in Ash's eyes. Pokémon. That was the key. Ash would talk about Pokémon all day, any day, with anyone.

"I did while I was doing the Island Challenge, at least until I caught enough new Pokémon to fill out my team," said Ash. "It made everything way too easy at first, though. It wasn't even fair."

Ash rubbed a hand over his head and laughed nervously.

"I actually made one of the trial captains cry," he said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, Sophocles," said Ash. "His trial was on top of Mount Hokulani and I had Charizard with me so we could fly up and down the mountain, and Charizard blew his totem Pokémon away in one hit. Lillie made me apologize."

Serena's eyes narrowed.

"Sophocles?" she said.

"Yeah," Ash said with a nod. "Weird guy."

"I bet," said Serena. She couldn't imagine what the guy's parents had been thinking.

"I tried to stick to my newer Pokémon as much as I could after that," said Ash. "It wasn't as fast, but it was more fun that way."

"How many new Pokémon did you catch?"

"Only four. That was all I needed since Pikachu and Greninja were always with me."

"Did you bring them all here with you?"

"Yeah," said Ash. "I guess you haven't had a chance to meet them yet, huh?"

"No, not really."

"Yeah."

An awkward silence ensued. The silence was broken by an unexpected sound. No one spoke. Instead, the ice dispenser on the refrigerator spontaneously started and dumped several ice cubes onto the floor.

"Hey!" said Ash. "I told you there's no food in there for you!"

"Huh?"

Serena looked back and forth between Ash and the refrigerator several times. Unless she was mistaken, Ash had just scolded the refrigerator itself.

"Food for who?" said Serena. "Is one of your Pokémon... in there?"

"No," said Ash. "You just can't see him."

"Can't see him?" said Serena. "See who?"

The ice dispenser went off again. More cubes fell to the floor and cracked on the tiles, scattering everywhere.

"Decidueye, stop that!" said Ash. "Show yourself so Serena can see you."

"De... what?"

Serena's confusion was quickly replaced by a prickling feeling as the hair on the back of her neck stood on end, the result of the unmistakable feeling of being watched from behind. Before Serena could turn around and look, she jumped in fright as she heard a single, low hoot in her ear.

Clutching her hands to her chest, Serena spun around and backed away several steps. She was confronted with the transparent image of a cloaked, hooded figure. Slowly, the figure became more and more opaque until she could not see through it anymore. It was beaked, and as tall as she was. She was uncertain if the cloak and hood it wore were made of feathers, leaves, or some combination of both, nor whether or not it was artificial or an actual part of its body.

What struck her, though, was the look in the figure's eyes. It was eerily familiar.

"Is this one of your new Pokémon?" said Serena.

"Yeah, but you've met before," said Ash.

"We have?" said Serena. "Because I don't remember ever meeting any Pokémon like this one."

"Last time you two met, this was Rowlet."

"Rowlet?"

"He's Decidueye now."

Serena could not comprehend how much Rowlet had changed, let alone the utter mess of a word that was his new name. Before she could even begin to take it all in, Decidueye faded again, then vanished.

"Not again," Ash grumbled. "Serena doesn't like that, you know!"

Serena connected the dots in her head.

"You mean, he became..."

"A ghost type," said Ash, finishing her sentence.

Serena stiffened. She bit down on her lower lip.

"Really?" she said.

Decidueye answered the question on his own when he reappeared out of thin air only a few inches away from her, his back facing toward her. He then turned his head fully around toward her and winked.

Serena shivered. She tried to smile at him, but it came out as a toothy, nervous, strained mess. Decidueye seemed to chuckle silently to himself, then hooted and turned his head back around. Then, he turned transparent again and walked through the refrigerator door.

"You know that won't work!" said Ash. "You'll break the refrigerator if you materialize in there!"

A muffled hoot came from inside the refrigerator. Pikachu jumped down from Serena's arms as she wrapped her arms around herself. She felt cold.

"Why did he have to become a ghost type?" she muttered.

Ash laughed.

"Yeah, that was one thing I knew you wouldn't like," he said.

Serena shot a sharp glare at him.

"Don't tell me you caught a Pyukumuku, too," she said.

"Ha! No, I didn't," he said. "I promise."

Serena let out a puff of air in relief.

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

At the mere thought of Pyukumuku, Serena realized her hunger had disappeared. It had been replaced with nausea.

"You wanna meet everyone else?" said Ash.

Serena paused. There was genuine excitement in Ash's eyes. She knew it wasn't intentional, but it pierced her like an ice pick. It was yet another reminder of everything they were avoiding, and how wrong everything was. She drew in a shaky breath.

"Ash..."

Ash was halfway toward reaching for the Poké Balls clipped to his belt when he froze.

"What's up?" he said.

"We can't keep doing this."

Ash didn't respond. He tightened his lips and looked down.

In silence, Serena's heart thundered. She reached for her collar and found nothing there. No ribbon, no scarf. She swallowed.

"I- ...I don't know what to say," said Serena. "I mean it. I honestly have no idea what to say to you. I messed up worse than I ever have before. I broke our promise. I hurt you, and a lot of other people. I don't know what I can do to make things better. I don't even know if it's possible. I want to tell you that I'm sorry, but it feels... dumb. It's not enough. I don't know how I could ever apologize enough for what I've done. I think... I really may have ruined everything. Forever."

Ash folded his hands behind his neck and looked up at the ceiling while he drew in a long breath through his nose.

"I dunno," he said. "I just... still kinda can't believe it, you know?"

Serena frowned.

"Believe me, I wish you didn't have to believe it," she said.

"Yeah, me too."

There was more silence. Neither of them looked at the other for a while.

"I dunno what to do, either," said Ash.

Several questions came to Serena's mind. Some of them felt particularly feeble and stupid. She almost wanted to gag at the thought of asking whether or not he was mad at her. There was a more pertinent question she could ask, though.

"Do you think you're going to stay here?" she said. "For now, at least?"

"I guess," said Ash.

"Lillie kind of moved into the spare bedroom with me," said Serena. "That's why I asked. I assumed you would, you know, be staying with her. Since you traveled here together and all."

"Yeah, but you guys kinda need me right now, don't you?"

"Hm?"

"You need me to help fight Palermo, right?"

"Um, yeah. Kind of."

"Kind of?"

"That was the plan, anyway," said Serena. "If you can call it one. We didn't really have much of a plan."

"Well, we can come up with one, can't we?" said Ash.

"Are you really willing to help Aria after what happened between me and her?"

Ash hesitated for a moment.

"Well, yeah," he said. "It's not her fault that Palermo tricked her. She doesn't deserve to be trapped forever."

"But-"

Serena stopped herself. There was so much on the tip of her tongue.

"What?" said Ash. "She needs help, right?"

"Well..."

"Allow me to interject for a moment."

Heads turned. Aria leaned against the doorframe at the entrance to the kitchen, her arms crossed. Upon being noticed, she stepped into the kitchen and approached the table, then stopped a few steps short.

"Aria!" said Serena.

"I don't mean to intrude, but it's difficult for me not to overhear from the living room," said Aria. "Frankly, I would prefer not to overhear."

Aria shifted her gaze, and her eyes landed squarely on Ash. Electricity shot down Serena's spine. Tension filled the air. Seeming uncertain, Ash looked up at Aria. He remained in his seat.

"I don't think we've been formally introduced," said Aria. "The blame for that is all mine, though. I haven't exactly made myself available since your arrival."

Ash made an awkward face and scratched the side of his neck.

"I didn't think you wanted to talk to me," he said.

Aria nodded and gave him an earnest look.

"To be honest with you, no, I don't," she said. "Unfortunately, I think it's necessary."

"Why?" said Ash.

"Because there is something I feel that I need to explain to you directly," said Aria. "Even with our circumstances being what they are, I think it would be better if I explained this to you myself rather than rely on others to do it for me."

"Explain what?"

"Well, I suppose an explanation is a part of it, but it's really more of a request."

"What is it?"

"To put it simply, as strange as this may sound to you, I would like you to refrain from helping me."

Ash tilted his head.

"Huh?"

"I know that probably sounds strange, but I'm serious," said Aria. "Please, do not intervene with Palermo on my behalf. I would much prefer it if you did not involve yourself in the situation in any way."

Ash squinted at Aria, clearly unsure what to think. Serena held her breath. Somehow, the explosion she anticipated hadn't come. Aria was stern, but not angry. Not visibly, anyway. She was completely calm, the perfect picture of composure.

"Well... man, that's weird," said Ash. "Okay, I guess?"

"I would appreciate it very much," said Aria.

Ash looked at Serena, then looked back at Aria.

"I mean, I don't get it," he said. "I thought that you all needed me to help fight Palermo because she's secretly really strong."

"You're correct that she is more powerful than she appears," said Aria. "In terms of raw power, you are the only trainer amongst us who is capable of facing her. The trouble is that I know her well, and I have serious doubts that brute force alone will be sufficient to defeat her."

"What do you mean?" said Ash.

Serena saw Aria's eyebrows momentarily flicker upward, a telltale sign that she was resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"I admit that I don't know you very well," said Aria, "but I don't think you have ever had to deal with an adversary like Palermo. She plans so far ahead and accounts for so many possibilities that it's impossible to catch her by surprise, let alone understand what she's doing. There is simply no way that she isn't aware that you are a stronger trainer than her, and she has definitely already accounted for that, somehow."

"How?" said Ash.

"How could we know?" said Aria. "We have no way of knowing. What we do know is that she plans everything. She manipulates everyone. She's protected on more levels than you can imagine. Everyone in Kalos loves her. Society itself is against us."

Ash shrugged.

"That sounds kinda like Lillie's mom," he said.

Aria seemed to bristle at the suggestion. Her brow tightened for a moment.

"Lillie shared some of the details about her mother with me, and while I agree that there are some similarities, Palermo would never risk being so blatantly corrupt. Lusamine escaped justice for so long because she hid her villainy on a private island. Palermo hides hers in plain sight."

"So, what are you gonna do?" said Ash.

"I genuinely do not know," said Aria. "However, that is none of your concern."

"But... I am concerned about it," said Ash.

"Please, don't be."

"My friends are in danger!"

"They will be in more danger if you involve yourself. Palermo despises using force, but she will use it if pushed. Korrina nearly lost her Lucario because of it."

"I'm not just going to sit here and let her hurt people!"

"Again, more people are going to be hurt if you involve yourself."

"That doesn't make sense!"

"It only fails to make sense to you because you're so used to being the hero at all times that you can't imagine yourself doing anything else."

"I-"

Ash faltered. Aria's expression had tightened. She hung her head low for a moment, exhaled deeply through her nose, then looked back up at Ash.

"I don't want to yell at you," said Aria. "I'm tired of fighting. All I ask is that you please honor my one request, because the only thing Palermo hasn't taken from me is my dignity. I implore you to please allow me the dignity of deciding my own fate, no matter what it may be."

Aria stared gravely at Ash. He seemed to wither as he bowed his head and looked at the floor.

"Well... alright," he said.

"Thank you," said Aria.

At that, Aria turned and proceeded across the room to the door from which she entered. Serena extended a hand in her direction as if trying to reach out to her, but she did not move from her spot. Clumsily, she called out to her, the words tumbling out of her mouth.

"Aria, wait!"

Aria did not wait. She disappeared around the corner without another word.

Once Aria's footsteps dissipated, Ash shook his head. He rose to his feet.

"Ash?"

"I'm gonna go for a walk," he said. Without looking at her, he took his jacket from the back of the chair and slipped his arms into it, then zipped it up.

As Serena watched, she was struck once again by the irony that the colors of their outfits matched.

Ash passed her and exited the kitchen in the opposite direction heading for the front door. Pikachu ran after him. He looked back at Serena for a moment, then ran again at the sound of Ash opening the front door.

Serena stood there alone. She hung her head.

"Now what?" she muttered.

The refrigerator hooted.