"Dear Goddess," Marianne murmured. "Please watch over us. Please keep everyone safe."
Her prayers were quiet, miniscule, and close to her chest. She barely spoke over a whisper, afraid her prayers would be overhead by others that were not the Goddess. It happened before, and Professor Byleth was especially good at overhearing the students when they didn't want to be heard. Marianne could have withered and died from the intensity of their stare alone, and so she learned to be more reserved when it came to things like praying.
Of course, it didn't help that she often prayed for her own demise, as well. Praying for the Goddess, Sothis, to take her into Heaven, praying for redemption and escape from this accursed life—those things were rituals that Marianne grew accustomed to. She always wished for the end before attending Garreg Mach, she would keep wishing for it as long as she stayed at the monastery.
Even though such drastic thoughts hurt the other classmates a fair bit. Lysithea, Leonie, Claude...they were displeased with her errant behavior more often than not. Of course there was Lorenz, Raphael, Hilda, and Ignatz, who were always so sweetly concerned for her that she wanted to cry out for them to stop. She wasn't deserving of criticism or praise: she didn't need anything or anyone. She was a beast, a monster, a curse that deserved to die on her own.
As she stared into the sparkling surface of the pond water, she couldn't help but be persuaded further that death was the solution. Her eyes were so dark, bleak, and tired-looking. Her hair was well kept, but a bit messy since she lacked the energy to properly do things. And she hated her overall appearance, and wished she was less than the thin, shadowy girl she was now. She wished she wasn't there at all, because the monastery was a sacred place, and she was less than a fish egg in comparison to such a great place of worship and beauty.
"Dear Goddess, I ask for your forgiveness for what I'm about to say," she whispered quietly, hands folded inward, head downcast as she closed her eyes against the sparkling water.
"Please take me with you one day."
