Mom. Where are you?

"Eeeek! No! Don't come near me!"

Mom... My heart aches.

"Stay away from me, Izark!" She sobs into her hands, unable to look at me. "Aarrggh! It was stupid of me to agree to have a child like this in return for gold. How horrible!"

What? For gold? ...A child like this? It's painful to be rejected, confusing. People flee from me telling me to stay away, telling each other to stay away from me. I'm alone, a child, left to be consumed by the darkness with no aid, no comfort.

It's a nightmare and I'm suddenly awake, but the pain is old, the loneliness constant. I look around, trying to reorient myself. I'm in a bed in what must be an inn. My sword is next to me where it should be. But the wind says there's something different this time and I look for what it is.

I'm up suddenly, backed as far away as I can get from the girl who's fallen asleep on the floor at the foot of my bed, her head resting on the bed. She is vulnerable in her sleeping. Why...? The sudden flash of complete confusion is just as suddenly replaced with a flood of remembering.

It's a remembering that's the opposite of my dream. This person hasn't left my side since coming here. This person has protected me in her small ways. This person doesn't look at me with eyes that fear. This person has no understanding of why she should reject me as fiercely as the rest have. I slump. It is ironic that the Awakening should worry for me.

The food that had been left on the head of my bed is gone. The lamp is lit. It's night already. I wonder what time it is?

The wind swirls and tells me why I've woken up. There are many men coming down the hallway as silently as they can. The closest ones are close enough for me to hear their clothing, footsteps, and then breathing.

My sword is already in my hand and I'm poised to defend. Noriko stirs and then the door bangs open. She moves to safety by the wall under the window and I must focus on the battle or we'll both be taken.

I'm not recovered enough. I manage to escape the blades of the vanguard and take them out, but I slump to my knee, holding myself propped up with my sword. Even breathing is hard when I have to move this much before I've recovered.

"So! This is the guy who slashed our boss, eh?"

"Son of a ...this baby faced dude hacked two of us already?"

"Are you that guys thugs?" I ask, remembering there were supposedly twenty. I wonder if they all came or just a few when they heard I was ill and weak. That's going to be difficult odds.

"He's weak now! We don't need to be afraid of him!" One tries to talk the others up.

"You're right. I'm in bad shape, so I won't be able to control my power." I'm warning them, but they won't hear or understand until they lie dying. If they'd waited for me, they would only have been incapacitated and lived to see another day.

"Kill him!" "Prepare to die!"

I'm rushed and on the defensive again. One man grabs me from behind and I grab him back and roll, putting him on the ground. That exposes my back to another blade that I barely manage to dodge. Friendly damage is done as that blade goes into the arm of the man I put on the ground and he screams.

I manage to get back up on my feet and the next people in line get what they came in asking for. I'm almost more focused on my labored breathing than the fighting, because I'm fighting myself at the same time as the men. The power wants to break out in wild spurts at times like this. That's why it kills. Every swing allows it to be released and I can't hold it back. I need to not destroy the room or building, though. I can't afford the repairs. ...I'll be unhappy about the lives lost later.

More voices from in the hall call out and my heart falls. I'm worried they did bring everyone. "Why are you taking so long?! Drag him out here. I'll pulverize him." Such brave foolish words.

One at the door who knows now turns around and complains back. "Gimme a break! He's just pulverized eight of us without having any strength at all. I'm outta here!" he leaves and I'm relieved, but don't really believe it.

Outside the room I hear, "Hey Han! Did you lie to us?"

"No! No, he really is sick, weak as a baby all day, I promise!"

It's the leader of the band of thieves and the night man. He's let them in after letting them know. He'll also have to be punished, but I expected it. It's a worst case scenario and they do seem to happen like that.

The man who left the room says, "No, boss, he really is staggering, can't hardly walk. But he's still beating us."

There's a pause, then the leader calls out to encourage his gang. "Listen, men! This is our only chance to kill him. If he gets better, he'll be even stronger and it'll be over for us. Don't be afraid. Eventually he'll be worn down and we'll get him."

It was enough and the men still in the room come for me. I defend, moving until I reach the far wall from my bed where I started. I slam back into the wall, letting it hold me up while I catch my breath again. A man who was outside my reach has gone around to Noriko's bed and is grabbing up the sheet that covers it, his eyes planning devious things as they look at me. At the same time as she grabs the cover from her corner to prevent it, to protect me again, the thief boss also remembers her. "Oh, yeah! Get the girl! We can use her!"

I groan to myself. As she throws the bedcloth over the man who was going to throw it over me, I'm already moving. I don't bother with putting people on the floor this time. This time I only need to get to Noriko and the window.

As I wrap my arm around her, I have to wonder. Why am I doing this? I should want the Awakening to die. I could let them kill her for me. I could let them think they've killed me and show up later to teach them what they don't know. We're through the window and I barely have enough strength to use my energy to halt our fall before we land.

I push weakly on Noriko, who's hovering over me, worried again, worried still. "Go. Go hide. I'm too weak to move. Go." I went to the Sea of Trees to kill the Awakening, but this girl knows nothing. She was dealt this fate against her will, without her knowledge. It's as unfair for her as for me, who knows and doesn't want it. I may be able to move again by the time they get here. Every little moment to rest lets me have another moment of movement.

Her firm words are followed by her rolling me from my side to my back. She places my hand holding the sword so that the sword rests along the top of my body. Then she's at my head, lifting my shoulders up until my head rests on her chest. She firmly wraps her arms around me under my arms and pulls back as hard as she can. With labored effort, she begins to pull me off the street. I can only close my eyes and feel amazement.

Why? I can't die. ...I haven't told her that yet. But, why? Why does she stand strong and protect me instead of herself? Her arms are warm and I feel a comfort I haven't felt since I was very young. There isn't anything I can do but accept this gift she gives me. Even the anger can only sit disgruntled in a corner and pout.

Being dragged down stairs worries me, that we'll off balance and tumble down, but somehow she manages and is taking us under a bridge, behind things stored there, and pulling me up to rest against the back wall. She pats my hand, still holding my sword, as if to congratulate me for not losing it. I give a small laugh deep inside me. I'm not sure I even have the energy to let the tight grip I have on it go. It wasn't going anywhere.

But Noriko still isn't done. She's up and rolling large barrels to block the way between us and the opening. Then she's quickly gathering up things in her arms to run and stand between me and the barrels. What is she doing now? I'm learning even more things about the Awakening that I didn't know. Where has this strength come from? I know it's an internal strength. By the time she was putting me against the wall her arms were trembling with fatigue.

I can only watch and be amazed, trying to understand. She doesn't know. She can't be protecting me because she wants me to become the Sky Demon. What does she see? I hide the demon. I'm only being the me I want to be. Is that what she's protecting? I find that even more amazing, that she believes that what I want to be is worth protecting. I would like an ally like that. The warmth of her arms around me that I can still feel agrees.

My eyes close and I can hear that our hiding place has been found, but I am resting in Noriko's warmth and not worried. Eventually the men come around the barrels. One of them cries out right after Noriko has moved. I open my eyes to see what she's done. Her arm is up, her hand is holding one of the things held in her arms. With a smooth throw the thing is flying for the head of the other man. He also cries out as it hits him. Her arms are already too tired, so there is too little strength to actually do harm, but it delays their approach.

Over and over Noriko throws things, alternating targets until the final things are thrown. They missed by a little, but none of the rest did. That's a rather impressive skill. I would like to see that when her arms aren't tired. I wonder how she learned that. Does she use it for defense in her home world? It doesn't seem likely.

She slumps in defeat, not knowing what to do next. It's my turn. I've rested enough and this needs to end. I won't have to hold back now that we aren't in the inn. I'm up and cutting the two men down. I keep going. They've found us from above as well, following the torch light from the torches held by the two men I just put down. I turn just outside the entrance and jump up to surprise the men above. I don't waste my advantage. I've only done about half of them and they are all here.

My power rises and I feel the first changes coming on as my canines slide and grow pointed against my lips. Once again men have pushed me too far, but I must take them down. My hair lifts above my ears and I'm seeing differently in the night lit only by oil and torch light. The men are clearer to my sight. Those changes are distantly recognized as I cut down the men who stand against me, two and three down in one blow because the power is only loosely restrained.

There's a sound from farther away and my sword is bound by a weighted chain. I'm still tired enough that again registering it from brain to body is slow. In the next instant the leader is appearing in front of me and his sword is sliding into my chest. I really don't like pain, for all I heal from it fine. My body has the same reaction as everyone else. It's annoying. I cry out in reaction to the sudden attack on my physical person and am frozen in shock.

The leader is triumphant and pulls his sword. I fall to the ground, the shock to my system weakening me again for a moment. His sword is raised to plunge into my body yet again when there's a sound that surprises me into inaction for just a moment. Noriko's body slams into the bandit chief, knocking him to the ground. He cries out in pain. She opened his wound I gave him. Then he's distressed about something else. I'm surprised it's enough he ignores Noriko and doesn't retaliate.

I'm worried for her in the next instant, though. A different bandit is swinging for her. She instinctively ducks and rolls away, towards me. She comes up in a kneeling defensive pose next to me, but I'm already on my feet, also instinctively poised to protect her. It doesn't take very long to recover from the shock and only a few minutes longer for the wounds to begin healing.

Surprisingly, my strength is already returning. I'm able to stand firm. Deep breaths bring even more strength to my body. I hear the chain coming again. This time I catch it and allow it to wrap around my arm then pull. No man has the strength to withstand me, and at this level it's even more so. The weapon is pulled out of his grasp and flies past me to cut a bandit behind me, stopping him in his tracks.

I scan those who remain standing. "A ...a monster? He's a monster!" I growl, becoming angry. It's their own fault for bringing it out. They're at a loss. The leader is called to, but he only gets up and runs away, the creature missing from his shoulder. Was it that creature that let him move through space?

The rest call for retreat and run. There are very few of them now. I take a few steps after them, but they aren't worth wasting any more strength or time on. I breathe until I've calmed the anger enough and the changes leave me.

Behind me I hear a click and I turn to see Noriko holding a sheathed knife. My eyebrow lifts. She picked up one of those to protect me with as well? Her look of firm determination makes me blink at her. She points to her chest then at mine. I shake my head. It will be completely healed soon.

She gives a nod as if that's just fine, no questions, no crying in worry. I can only stare at her, not understanding. She has only ever worried and fussed. What's different this time? She saw a sword go through me and she believes me without question, that I'm fine? Her expression says she knows I don't believe her, that she knows she's odd.

I look at her knife, unhappy to have it in her hand. I open my mouth to complain and have to stop, snapping my mouth closed. I turn away. Her small courage is very large tonight, her anger giving her additional strength. But...on her it's a funny thing because she is and looks so small and weak.

Noriko walks up to me and shoves me, angry that I'm laughing at her determination. I don't mean to, but it's such an odd juxtaposition. I glance at her scowl and it leaves her as she finally relaxes, my own laughter letting her know the fighting is over. Her hands to go her hips to begin a simple scold and my eyes are caught by blood on her sleeve. I'm angry again as I grab at her arm. Who has injured her? When did this happen?

I'm now the one looking angrily into her eyes. She shakes her head and points to the sleeve. There's no hole in it. I feel a sense of foreboding, and I don't like it. I roll up the sleeve to see for myself and she protests. It's bandaged, but was reopened, likely when she was pulling me to safety. What has she done!?

She tries to avoid looking at me, doesn't want to answer. She sighs finally and says, "Doctor." I scowl at her. What have they done? Wasn't I trusting him to help me take care of her? Noriko slumps and says tiredly, "Doctor [say to] Izark." She points from her mouth to my ear.

I'm immediately walking her back to the inn, not letting go of her. "Call for the Doctor, now," I call to the villagers, who are finally brave enough to come out and see what happened now that the street is quiet again. I reassure them on the way that the thieves are gone and won't be returning this night. I also reassure them we're fine, although we don't really look it. My shirt is bloodied, and I'm worried for Noriko, not understanding the feeling in my chest.

-o-o-o-

When we reach the room the innkeeper has moved us to, since the other one must be cleaned before it can be used again, I hold out my hand for Noriko's knife. She has willingly allowed herself to be harmed and a blade is not for her. She refuses to give it up, pointing to my wound and arguing that she must also be able to stand to defend me at times that are surprising.

I am grateful but times like those are very rare for me. Until I can understand, I can't be comfortable with her and a blade. I can only see my mother being harmed by the one in her hands. We argue around several times until the door opens and the summoned doctor arrives.

He heads for me first, demanding I remove my shirt. "It's just an old wound," I answer, trying to stay calm enough to not draw his suspicion. "This is the blood of one of the men I fought." I bunch up the shirt so he can't see the holes nor the blood on the back of it. The sword went all the way through me.

Noriko is suddenly in front of me, putting her hand on top of the wound, her fingers lightly touching it, then she's turning me away from the doctor, pushing me to get dressed quickly, and turning to him to show him her own wound. I'm sure she was hiding that my wound was healing even as we spoke, and testing to know it for herself. Her own worry for the wounding must still have been present, even if she chose to believe me. I'll have to puzzle that one out when I'm not so upset with her. This stone in my stomach will need to be removed first.

When I've covered myself again to hide the healing wound, I return to the doctor. "What did you let her do?" I demand quietly, not able to hide the anger brought by the worry.

He finishes tucking in the edges of the wrapping and sighs. "She's very convincing, no?" He rolls down her sleeve and she thanks him. He rubs his head as she leans back in her chair and closes her eyes. She knows this will be a long explanation. I ignore her, then, other than to keep my senses on her so that she can't move or run away.

I'm stunned the longer into his story he goes. "And you really believed her? That this would work?"

He looks a little ashamed. "Well, she was very convincing, and ...I would like to see it come to some fruition. It would be good to reduce the worst suffering of our children and people if it is possible. I would rather have not had her be a sacrifice if it turns out badly, but she was quite adamant that she be allowed the experiment. I would like to hear if it worked and how well.

"There are others like her who may be willing to also experiment. If we could rid the world of even one of the diseases... And the worst one, that affects older people - that would be a great benefit if our bodies could learn to fight it before it even became a problem."

The stone in my stomach isn't going away. Altruism is well and good, but Noriko isn't from here. How her body reacts won't be what happens for the rest of us. She's already been very careful with the food and water, not knowing what it will do to her different body. "Does she really want to die so badly?" I ask harshly.

The doctor looks at me in surprise. "No," he answers quietly. "Izark, I understand you're upset by what she's done. Noriko hasn't done this because she doesn't care or wishes to die. She's done this because she wishes to live. She already understood diseases. She said her family died from the adult disease when they came here."

I'm silenced, my eyes going wide. "She was worried, I think, that you were so ill because she'd given something to you from her island. She asked me very carefully for all of the symptoms and when I was done she seemed relieved, that perhaps you were only exhausted like you looked."

I put my hand to my head, almost wanting to cry. If she knew of childhood diseases, that they can be transferred from people to people from far places, then yes, she would have worried that I'd gotten something from her. Not being able to say things clearly is hard for us.

If being able to prevent disease is something her advanced civilization can do, she would have tried it so as to not die in our future from it. But it's still wrong, still not what she should have done. The weight in my gut tells me so. And...it's another thing that makes her different and memorable. If others come seeking one who is odd who may be the Awakening, it's odd enough to make them remember her. And that's what is the worst.

I'll need to finish my job as fast as possible and get us out of here tomorrow, if possible. My strength has returned sufficiently. Resting tonight will be enough. I finally give the doctor a nod and thank him for seeing to us. He needs to see if there are any thieves he can save now. It isn't likely.

When the door closes behind the doctor, I turn to Noriko. She's waiting for me quietly in her chair. I walk over and put my hands on the back of the chair to either side of her. "Noriko...[no]!" I'm quiet but firm. "You can't use the Teacher to convince others to do strange things that will give you away. You've put us both into danger here in this place by doing that. I don't know what other dangers you've put yourself into." I can't look at her for a moment, my face reacting to the hurt in my heart, the clenching of my gut.

The doctor told me he'd written it all down for her, teaching her as he went, what the symptoms were and the treatment, and put the proper herbs together. She has it here, meaning it must be in the bag. She was thorough, not leaving healing to chance, but will it be enough? "If you're different enough, I won't know how to heal you."

I want to cry again and I suddenly realize it's the child in me, that wanted her warm arms around me. That part of me doesn't want to lose her now that she's here. I shiver as fear counters that. It's frightening to want the Awakening by my side when for so long I wanted it as far from me as possible. I bow my head and her hand comes up to touch my cheek gently, trying to comfort the child that cries inside. I freeze, unsure what to do, wanting and not wanting it.

"Izark," she says gently. "Noriko [okay]."

I turn my head away from her sharply and bite my lip. She still can't understand and it's painful and frustrating. How can I teach her not to do this in the future? Unless I say more than I want to, I must be patient until she can understand my language. It will be very hard, I think. I can't let her be alone without me again until then. She doesn't know the power she has.

Noriko sighs and stands up. I back up to let her, not wanting her to move, not wanting her that close. I'm fighting myself again to not take her in my arms to hold her tight enough to kill her as I satisfy both the young child and the angry monster inside. She gently takes my sleeve and pulls me with her to the bed in this room. She puts her knife on the headboard to be close at hand and lies down, not letting me go, the hold feeling like the chain being laid slowly on me merely because she's here.

She tugs until I sit next to her and slowly she slips into sleep, her tears leaking from her eyes. They're my tears as well. I feel defeated tonight. She's protected me, but she's also damaged herself and I'm confused and lost. When she does things that make me feel happy she's here, I'm then shown things that make me wish it all wasn't so. I don't know what to do.

I cry inside with her tears until she's asleep enough I can escape. It's too hard to be by her side tonight, and I'm glad they've given us separate rooms. I can feel her sleeping as I walk down the stairs. The innkeeper explains that this room they'll give me is one they use when on night shift, waiting for late-night customers.

That's good. If the night man comes back while I'm there I can kill him for giving us to the thieves. The demon wants to have a say in what I'm feeling now. Or perhaps it's the part of me that's so determined to not ever be the demon. I can't tell tonight.

I hear the clearing of a throat and don't want what's next. "Well, I think it isn't right that the two of you slept in the same room last night. I know she may not want to be alone, but it isn't right for strangers of opposite sexes to stay in one room."

Like I need the lecture from a man we don't even know when there was only one room in the entire town available. I've already turned my back to him, not wanting him here, fighting the anger the rises, the pain of the child who wants to have her close. "You don't have to worry about it. She's not my type," I say coldly. She's a child, one who can't even understand what she's done.

He's like a fish that flips, wanting back in the river. "What a rude remark! She's pretty enough. What don't you like about her, eh?"

I scowl, but the voice of the doctor sounds next, to my relief. "Mayor, Mayor. You shouldn't raise your voice to him like that. He's still recovering."

"But, he looks so much better now!" the mayor protests.

I look back at them. "You're right. I'm in the recovering stages now. I guess I started to recover during the battle." It happened surprisingly quickly this time. Usually it would have taken another half a day. It's thanks to that I was able to finish the battle with a good result.

"I'm still too weak to go after the thieves who escaped tonight, but there's only one place they could go. Their hideout. Find out about that place from the survivors. I'll be recovered before dawn. I need to complete my assignment." I'm firm on this. We must leave as soon as we can.

They agree and leave me alone to recover. But they only go across the hall to the kitchen to chat and my ears hear them. I want to know what they say so the wind brings me their words. Have we already been too different in their eyes? I lie down while listening, needing the final resting.

"I still want to talk to him," the mayor says.

"Tomorrow," the doctor says to him.

"Yes, yes. I've been thinking about that girl." The innkeeper's wife gives them some tea and they thank her. "She has no family, right?"

"She said her family died when they came here. He came upon her and she followed him, with nowhere else to go."

"Harumph. She reminds me of my daughter. Years ago she ran away from home with a no-good boy. She died in an accident. That man she ran away with was very handsome. Since then, whenever I see a handsome man, I can't help feeling disgust towards him." I'm not feeling very kindly disposed towards him either. That wasn't my fault.

The mayor returns to his present thoughts. "So, the girl is just a burden for Izark. He's a warrior. That's a hard life of wandering, not fit for a young girl. He could have another battle like tonight's at any time. He can't travel with her forever." They move on to talking about the thieves, but don't mention either of us again for now.

Somehow, in hearing that much, both of my sides have suddenly come to agreement. Noriko will not be staying here. Here is too close to the Sea of Trees. Eventually others will come to investigate more carefully. There are many devious men in high places who want to use me for evil.

The worst one is the evil that wanted me watched over at my parent's manor. That one will also come to the Sea of Trees to see if it can call me back into its clutches. I will not go quietly, and I will not leave the Awakening behind to drag me back to where I do not want to be.