Decisions
Mr. Perrino's history lecture was giving Camilla a headache. The added stress of seeing Amy in art class and her reoccurring pregnancy symptoms didn't make anything better. She was relieved when the bell rang and quickly ran out of class. She continued walking to her locker and looked at her watch, 11:30 am is looming. She had to find Alex so they can go to her doctor's appointment. She couldn't help but become nervous, today is going to be the biggest day of her life. After finding out the status of the baby, she decided that she is going to reveal her pregnancy to Chloe and Jon. She began to grow nervous thinking about their reaction. They were going to be disappointed in her and that was the last thing she wanted. She let out a long sigh she continued walking. She had so many thoughts running through her head. She couldn't stop thinking about Jay. A small part of her began to wonder how he is actually doing in juvie. She also wondered how he got there. She never got to wonder about him because she was so mad at him for cheating.
"Camilla! Hey!"
Ellie's voice distracted her from her many thoughts. They continued walking together.
"Hey," Camilla greeted.
"Did you disappear or something? How come you haven't answered my calls or texts?" Ellie asked.
"Sorry, babe," Camilla said as they hugged. "I just had a lot going on. I really didn't want to talk about it."
"Still mad about the Jay thing?" Hazel asked.
"I said I don't want to talk about it," Camilla snapped.
"Hello, my favorite people!" Paige and Hazel came from behind them. "How was everyone's winter holiday? Mine was completely wonderful!"
"What's gotten into you?" Ellie asked. "You're so giddy this morning."
"Well I went to the cottage with my family it was so beautiful, covered with snow. I went to a nearby spa. It was so wonderful! I got treated like a princ-"
Paige suddenly stopped when Alex approached them.
"Hey Camilla, you ready to go?"
"Yeah give me a second," Camilla said as she went through her locker.
"Where are you guys going? Are you skipping again?" Ellie asked.
"No," Alex answered as she started evilly at Paige. "We just have something important we need to do."
Camilla closed her locker. "I'll talk to you guys about it later ok?"
"Well sure hun, but we need to talk spirit squad first!" Paige said with glee.
"I can't, not this term," Camilla said as she picked up her bag.
"Why not?" Hazel asked. "I was hoping we can work together this time!"
"She doesn't want to tweedle dee and tweedle dum!" Alex darted angrily. "Come on Camilla, we need to go."
Camilla sighed once again. She knew there was going to be weirdness between Paige and Alex but she didn't think it was going to be this awkward.
"I'll catch up with you guys later." She said as she walked away with Alex, who gave Paige one last evil glare.
Paige sighed and rolled her eyes. The remaining three continued walking, making their way to the cafeteria.
"What's with you two?" Hazel asked. "The last time I saw you guys you were madly in love."
"Save it, Hazel," Paige grunted. "You should be happy, you don't even like Alex."
"Still don't at all, but you guys were happy," Hazel said back. "You look so sad now. I don't like seeing you like this."
"I don't know," Paige began as they made their way to the long lunch line. "One minute, we're fine but then when I start talking about university she gets snippy with me. I care for her a lot but it seems like she doesn't want to go anywhere in life. I just can't deal with it anymore."
"I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news but maybe you guys should break up," Ellie advised. "It doesn't seem like the two of you are happy."
Hazel sighed, she had forgotten that Ellie and Sean had broken up. She hasn't spoken to him since he has been arrested but she was really curious to know how he was doing. She tried asking Camilla she was no help. It was obvious she didn't bother to check on them because of her hatred for Jay. Guilt began to consume Hazel. She didn't want to betray her friend by dating Sean, but she really likes him now after getting to know him. She began to wonder if she should tell Ellie but she decided to stay quiet at least for now.
"Ellie, you are the last person to take relationship advice from. You have a ridiculous crush on Craig and he keeps treating you like garbage! Remember what happened last time?" Paige darted as the three of began picking their meals in line.
"I do not have a crush on Craig!" Ellie began raising her voice.
"Um, hello, I was drunk at my party, but I could still see. You two were all over each other. You need to stop being his doormat Ellie. It looks bad! Even when you were with Sean you were still worrying about what Craig was doing and who he was doing it with. I hate to be brutally honest, but he is never going to like you. You need to let it go."
Ellie remained silent as they continued to move the lunch line. She didn't want to admit it, but Paige is right. Every time Craig goes through a breakup, he always uses Ellie as a rebound. When Ellie finally works up the courage to tell him how she truly feels. He starts dating someone else. As much as she hated the way Craig treats her, she still couldn't turn off her feelings for him. Her attraction to Craig was like a moth to a flame. She began to think about Sean. Despite his shortcomings, he is very observant. She began to wonder if Sean knew about her feelings for Craig and that's why he cheated with Hazel. It was a bit awkward being around her. The only reason why she tolerates her sometimes is because of Paige. She looked around for Ashley, secretly hoping that they had the same lunch period and that she is somewhere in this long lunch line.
The three of them paid for their meals and made their way to their favorite table.
"Hey guys, can I sit with you? I need to talk to you about something really important."
Emma's voice startled them. This was beyond unusual. Emma is a grade below them and she usually sits with Manny and her other friends.
"Um, sure hun," Paige said as they all took their seats. Hazel and Ellie exchanged weird looks.
"You guys are all friends with Camilla right? Jay's girlfriend?" Emma asked.
"Sweetie, it's um it's ex-girlfriend," Paige corrected. "Don't ever say that in front of her or mention that name. It's a touchy subject."
"Sorry," Emma said. "Do you guys know where she is? I kind of want to talk to her."
"She just left with Alex not a few minutes ago. They have some secret thing." Ellie said back.
"I don't mean to pry but-"
"Isn't that what you always do?" Paige interrupted Emma.
Emma ignored Paige and continued, "Have you noticed anything with her lately? Has she been acting a little weird?"
Paige sighed, she was a little annoyed with Emma. "Hun, we just got back from winter break. We haven't seen each other in weeks!"
"I know, but did she tell you where she was going?"
"She didn't say," Hazel answered also becoming annoyed with Emma's questions.
"Um, well I don't want to start any rumors or anything, but I think she's pregnant. I saw her this morning in my geometry class and she definitely looked like it."
"What?" Ellie yelled through choking on her food.
"Are you serious?" Hazel followed.
"Why are you telling us this?" Paige asked. "Even if she is, it's not our business. If she wanted to know then she would have told us!"
"Maybe that's where she's going with Alex...to the doctor…" Hazel said. She began having flashbacks of her pregnancy and her abortion. She began to think about how sad it made her feel. She began to feel bad for Camilla. She definitely understood why Camilla didn't want to talk to anyone over winter break. Talking about something this serious is hard for anyone. She was definitely going to make it her duty to talk to make sure Camilla is okay.
"The doctor for what?" Emma asked abruptly.
Hazel shook her head, "Nevermind, why are you telling us this?"
"What is she going to the doctor for? Is she going to have an abortion? This is terrible! This is wrong!" Emma began to raise her voice and everyone in the cafeteria began to look at them and whisper.
"Shut up!" Paige whispered. "Don't start one of your little causes! Look, Camilla didn't say anything to us about that and even if she did, we can't tell her what to do. It's her choice."
"I'm really worried about her," Emma said. "You guys have to talk to her. She's your friend right? Don't you guys care about her?"
"Okay, calm down!" Paige darted. "We'll talk to her!"
Ellie and Hazel once again exchanged weird looks but remained silent and continued eating. They were unaware Amy was at the vending machine next to their table and overheard everything.
Camilla finished her paperwork and handed it to the clerk. She let out a long sigh and pushed her hair back.
"Hey," Alex grabbed her hand. "Calm down, everything is going to be okay."
"I wish I believed you," Camilla said back. "Thanks again for coming with me."
"Of course," Alex answered. "So what are you gonna do?"
Camilla shrugged, "What do you mean?"
"You know," Alex began, "Are you gonna…?"
"Oh," Camilla said back once she figured out what Alex was asking. "I mean-"
"Camilla Ventura." The nurse interrupted her.
"I'll stay here," Alex reassured her.
Camilla smiled at Alex as she followed the nurse.
"How are you today?" The nurse asked.
"I could be better," Camilla answered.
"Are you back in school?" The nurse asked.
"Yeah first day back from winter break," Camilla answered as the nurse led her into an empty patient room and handed her a hospital smock.
"Remove all of your clothing and put this on. I just need to ask you a few questions okay?"
Camilla did as she was told. Her nerves were still getting the best of her but she did her best to remain calm.
"How old are you?" The nurse asked.
"Sixteen," Camilla answered as she continued changing her clothes.
"When was your last menstrual cycle?" The nurse asked.
Camilla stopped, she closed her eyes for a minute, "I don't remember the exact day but I know it was in September."
"Okay," The nurse continued a series of questions about Camilla's health. Becoming annoyed with each question, she answered them quickly and abruptly, but one, in particular, startled her.
"Do you, or anyone in your family have a history of abusing drugs or alcohol?"
Camilla let out a long sigh and sat on the exam table. The mention of drugs and alcohol made her think about someone she hasn't thought about in a long time, her dad. She began having flashbacks of the very few memories she did share with him. She began to wonder if she should tell him about her pregnancy. She wasn't sure if he would care. He never seemed to care about his family. The only things he cared about were touring with his band, getting his next drink, or his next fix. She began having flashbacks of him telling her he was going to take her on a trip when she was a little girl, only to be let down and extremely disappointed. She also had a flashback of seeing him coughing heavily in the kitchen during a heated argument while her mother was yelling at him to get out of the house. She was so scared that night, she crept into Chloe's room and slept in her bed with her. Chloe usually got annoyed and threw her out, but not that night.
"Camilla?" The nurse called her name for a second time.
"I'm sorry," Camilla broke out her trance. "What was the question?"
"Do you, or anyone in your family have a history of drugs or alcohol?"
Camilla let out a long sigh, "No."
The nurse continued asking questions for a good three minutes. Camilla was relieved when she was finally done.
"So, the first thing we're going to do is take a pregnancy test to confirm the pregnancy and we will follow up with a pelvic exam and an ultrasound if you would like." The nurse explained.
Camilla was confused. "What do you mean, if I would like?"
"Well, a lot of women may not want to look at the ultrasound if they decide to terminate the pregnancy," The nurse said.
Camilla froze once again when she heard the words "terminate" and "pregnancy." She was trying her best to hold back tears. She found herself at a crossroads. She was too young to be a mother and she wasn't ready, but she wasn't sure if she could live with herself if she terminated a pregnancy. She began to think about her mother and the story she told Camilla about almost terminating her pregnancy and how much of a blessing it turned out to be when she decided to have her. She wished her mother was still alive. She would know exactly what to say to help her through this.
She began to think about Jay. After reading his letters from juvie she has become aware that he knows about the pregnancy. As much as she wanted to believe that he would be there for her at the baby, she just couldn't. There was a small part of her that wanted to have this baby and hope that he would be there for her but she knew that it was wishful thinking. He couldn't stop causing trouble and ended up in juvie so he can't even be with her at this very moment. She knew he would be an unfit father and she didn't want to raise a baby around his chaotic nature.
"Camilla? Are you okay?" The nurse asked.
Camilla quickly wiped her tears and nodded. "Yes, I'm okay."
"I understand all of this is difficult, but everything is going to be fine," The nurse said with a reassuring voice. "Let's start with the pregnancy test and the exam and then we can talk about your options, okay?"
Camilla nodded, "Okay."
