A/N: the last part of this chapter is in Arturia's POV; at the beginning of the next one, the same scene will be in Gilgamesh's POV. Thank you so much to Jolanikati for the beta work :D
Warning for some medical descriptions and some serious angst…
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Doctor Diarmuid himself explained to Arturia what the situation was.
He was more serious than she had ever seen him as he told her that Irisviel had woken up to tremendous abdominal pains. Through the ultrasound that had immediately been issued, they had noticed that the baby's heartbeat had suddenly increased and its more erratic movements had become extremely painful – and they had made Irisviel pass out from the throbbing ache.
She was still unconscious, but her water had broken and she had gone into labour, therefore he and the other medics were trying to induce the birth artificially. However, they needed her permission for that, especially because they could not give any painkillers to Irisviel, since she was still not fully cured from her illness.
Only one person was allowed to be with Iri; after making her nephew, Shirou, remain in his own room – she explained to him briefly that his mother was going to give birth – Arturia could accompany her unconscious sister to the operating room.
She had briefly seen a highly displeased Gilgamesh relaying her request to the nurses to keep an eye on the boy, but then she had seen no more of him; he had probably gone to work.
She knew that both Iri and the baby's conditions were precarious, and she knew she needed to stay calm and collected to deal with the entire situation. Knowing her nephew, Arturia was certain that he was going to worry for quite some time, and would most likely not rest at all. There was unfortunately little she could do to change that; Shirou could not be in the birthing room, yet at the same time she could not lie to him and tell him that everything was fine when it so obviously wasn't.
Once again, Irisviel von Einzbern's life was on the line.
Labour had started too early, and if Iri didn't wake up and actively help give birth, the baby was going to die suffocated, while Iri herself would bleed out. Diarmuid did not try to hide that very likely outcome from Arturia while he explained everything. There was the possibility of a caesarean section, but given Irisviel's already unstable conditions and already very weak body, it was best to leave that as the last option.
The baby's heartbeat had stabilized a little, therefore the nurses tried to slowly begin to wake up Irisviel. Kariya warned Arturia that she was going to be in a very intense pain, and therefore she could be delirious.
To everyone's relief, Iri slowly seemed to get out from her drowsiness without too much difficulty. Arturia was by her side and softly called her name until she was fully awake. Iri was lucid enough to coherently answer the doctors' questions about the pain she was feeling, which had decreased, and then she was left alone with her sister, Kariya being the last to leave the room with a worried glance. Labour could take several hours, and that meant that they could do nothing but wait.
Iri was still not allowed to take more than light painkillers because of her illness, and that meant that she remained in pain as contractions began to run through her body throughout the following hours. She reached for her sister's hand, and Arturia let her hold it, never letting go for a second and squeezing it back.
As hours passed, the blonde woman felt her inner panic increase, because the medics had not painted a pretty picture of the situation.
Iri was not well, at all, and she was risking her life.
Did that mean that all these months, with the chaos, with the press, and with Gilgamesh, had been for naught? Were her sister and her unborn baby going to die without her being able to do anything to prevent it?
Was it all going to crumble around her, after the time and effort that had been needed to get to this point?
Quickly reigning in her emotions, Arturia closed her heart to such thoughts. Iri had been crying silently because of the pain and was trying to talk to her; she could not afford to get distracted.
"Ria," her dark red eyes were full of desperate tears, "I'm so scared…"
"Iri," Arturia gripped her hand firmly. "I'm here with you. I'm here with you, Iri."
A few tears began to fall.
"Ria, I'm so afraid… that I won't make it… I can't make it…"
In her grief, Arturia had almost forgotten that Iri was now fully conscious and shared those same fears she had. The thought made new strength surge through her.
She would not let her sister give up on herself. Not if she could help it.
Arturia's voice was strong, firm and soothing as she spoke again, her eyes trained on her sister's as she continued to have a firm grip on her hand.
"Yes, you can, Iri. You can make it through this."
There was confidence and certainty in every syllable she uttered, making Iri smile through her small hiccups as another wave of pain coursed through her body.
"I'm not scared for Shirou, you know… Because there is you, Ria… You have always been there, even when I didn't know I needed you, yet you were always here when I looked for you…" There was a loud gasp as pain assaulted her once again. "And I know you will take care of Shirou if I don't make it, because you have been a better mother to him than I ever will be–"
"Iri…" Arturia's voice was still firm, but there was a definite hint of uncertainty about it now, as if she did not know how to stop her sister from saying such things.
The tears were streaming down Iri's cheeks, unrestrained.
"I love you, Ria, I don't know if I've told you enough times, but if I didn't, I should have… my brave little sister who was always the grow-up between us two… how would I have ever…" she took a sharp intake of breath as contractions made her body quiver, "…managed to get to this point without you? You've always been so strong, Ria…"
Fresh tears gathered in her eyes as she smiled at Arturia. "I admire you so much, Ria. Mother and Father…" she hissed weakly, in extreme pain, "…were both so proud of you…"
She sobbed, so lost in pain that she didn't care about holding herself together anymore. "I miss them, Ria… I want them here with us… And Kiritsugu…" The spasm that shook her was more violent than the others, and Arturia knew it wasn't just because of physical pain. "…my wonderful, beloved Kiritsugu… he left, like Mother and Father… they all left…"
She was shivering and sobbing, tears making her face, neck and upper chest completely wet. "They're all gone, and now… now…"
"Now there is us," Arturia said, quietly.
She had tried not to interrupt her until this moment, knowing that Iri needed to get things off her chest, but she could no longer keep silent. She knew that the pain was making Iri delirious, and she knew that she was beginning to lose herself in her sorrow – but she was not going to allow it.
She squeezed her sister's hand firmly. "Now there's us, Iri. With Shirou, and with your baby. And there is Kariya, and Sakura, and Rin. And, I guess my husband too, but you can overlook him, if you want." She knew Iri was still very suspicious of him.
A weak laugh left Iri's lungs, only to be replaced by a cry of pain. The contractions were increasing, meaning that the time of birth was nearing.
"Ria… I have been such a failure as your sister…"
Arturia stared at her, taken aback by the self-loathing she could feel in Iri's tone.
Iri continued to cry. "You have sacrificed everything in your life, and you've married that man, just because I wasn't able to stand on my own feet… because I wasn't able to make the right decisions… because I kept burdening you with my selfish choices and my stupidity and–"
"Iri, stop it," Arturia's voice was as sharp as a razor. Her emerald green eyes were aflame as they were fixed on her dark red ones. "Stop saying these things."
Iri's dark red eyes, half-lidded as they were, flashed.
"But they are true, Ria." Her tears were starting to flow once again. "I won't make it today, I need to say these things before dying and–"
"Iri… Irisviel… Irisviel, listen to me," Arturia interjected, firmly staring at her and holding her gaze. "Listen to me. You are going to make it today. For Shirou and for your baby, and for Kiritsugu and for Mother and Father, and for me, but most of all for yourself, you are going to make it. Do you hear me? I will not allow you to give up now, not after all that has happened."
She could not let her voice break in that precise moment, so she stopped for a second to make sure she could hold herself together long enough. "This is the last huge step, and also the first… to be part of the life of your second child. You are not allowed to miss your second baby's first day, nor any day from now on, nor are you allowed to miss any day of Shirou's life. Is this clear?"
Iri only stared mutely, wide-eyed and forgetting her tears, taken aback by her sister's firm statement.
But Arturia wasn't finished.
"And, Iri… about the matter of my marriage… Do remember that it was my choice. Not yours, and therefore not your responsibility."
She paused for a second, trying to find the right words. "Iri, the choices I make… are mine. Not anyone else's. I don't ask you to approve of them, nor to accept them… but they are part of and define my life. Don't feel responsible for them, please."
She took a deep breath, and her eyes were as alight as blazing fires. "I have not made choices I regret – yet. But allowing my sister to give up on herself on the day of her child's birth is a choice I would regret, and I will not make that choice today."
Iri smiled through the tears, a strange feeling of warmth filling her at those words.
"…thank you, Ria."
She closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply, slowly, doing her best to stop the hiccups, before opening them again. "I wish… I wish I was like you, Ria. Always so strong…"
Arturia smiled back at her.
"You are strong, Iri. You don't need to be anything like me, you don't need to wish for anything like that. You already are the person you need to be to make it through today… and you know it. You are Shirou's mother and you are my sister… but most of all, you are Irisviel, and you have the strength you need. You know that you do, Iri… you know it…!"
Iri's eyes were screwed shut in absolute pain, yet she did not let go of her sister's hand, pulling at it with what little physical strength she had left.
In a whisper, she murmured through clenched teeth, ignoring the pain, "Ria… you're right… perhaps I can do this… but please…" barely, just barely, she managed to lift her eyelids and find her sister's brilliant green gaze, anxiously focused on her face, "stay with me… or… once it's over… I'll never believe… this whole thing… actually happened…"
A wordless scream left Irisviel's lungs and pierced the air. The nurses came rushing into the room, Kariya leading them, more worry on his face than Arturia could ever recall seeing in his expression. The difficult birth was clearly approaching, and one of them quickly went to alert the doctors.
There was no time to waste…
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ARTURIA
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Arturia exited the hospital room, feeling numb and dazed. She leaned against a wall. Her sister's iron-grip had left a mark on her hand and her terrible screams still reverberated in her ears – even now that everything was over.
Iri was safe. She had survived childbirth. She had given birth to a healthy, beautiful baby identical to her. A little girl. Both were out of danger, after such a long labour and period of suffering.
Shirou was well. The doctors and nurses had called him inside the room after the birth, and he was now asleep in his mother's arms, on her bed, while his little sister was in the cradle.
They were all safe.
There was nothing to fear. They were well.
Arturia took a deep breath. And then another.
Her body was still rigid because of the stress and the terror that had taken residence in her for the past hours – no, for the past weeks, or even months.
But it was over. Iri's sickness had been overcome. Her baby was fine. Shirou was fine.
Her family was fine.
All those months filled with anxiety… had been worth it.
A violent shudder ran through her. She abruptly stood away from the wall and looked around quickly, her eyes dazed. She needed to be alone. She needed some time on her own, to be just with her thoughts, to just… what? Perhaps to just let the stress go. To be on her own, for just a brief while… to recover from the deep scare of those past months…
But obviously, it would not be that easy. She was Arturia Pendragon – no. She was Arturia Uruk now; if something could go wrong, it did, at least when she was involved.
A hand was, quite gently, posed on her hip, and she found herself looking into very familiar blood red eyes. She was however not seeing him – not really. She was not really present in this moment. And she did not have the energy to tolerate her husband. Not right now.
She didn't even have the energy to wonder about his presence, when the last she had seen of him had been early in the morning, when they had skipped breakfast to go to the hospital in a hurry.
She looked away. She wanted to be alone.
Taking her by surprise, his hand left her hip to grab her under her chin – gently once again – and turn her head towards him. But she roughly broke free from his grasp.
She would not be patient with him. Not… not right now. She did not have the patience for him.
She made a motion to leave, but his arm came around her waist and firmly escorted her to a small, nearby room. It was probably a place where supplies were stocked, since it was dark and filled with many box-like objects. Arturia was surprised that she even noticed such a thing, considering how drained and tired she felt.
She leaned against a wall again, closing her eyes. She hoped, she firmly hoped, that he would take the hint and leave.
She. Wanted. To. Be. Alone.
There was silence in the room, but he did not leave. Since he did not seem able to read her mind as he had done so many times before, she made an effort, in order to tell him what she needed.
"Would you leave me alone, please?"
She could feel his eyes on her.
"No."
His answer was simple – but it did not leave any room for argument.
She tried again.
"Please. Only a few minutes. I want to be alone."
But he was not deterred.
"Not in the mental state you're in now– No, I will not leave you alone."
Arturia was more than simply tired, she was exhausted; however, that did not stop the surge of anger from running through her veins.
This arrogant, conceited jerk… she could already feel the tears prickling at the corner of her eyes. She slammed them shut again to stop them from falling, but also to avoid looking at him.
She knew she was on the verge of collapsing – and she needed to be alone for such a thing. There was no way she would break down in front of this… this…
…this man whom she had agreed to marry and shared a bedroom and a house with, who took care of her when she was sick, shielded her from the dangers of the high-class society without patronizing her, provided her with the money necessary for Iri's safety and…
No! Those thoughts had to stop!
She took a deep breath, and forced herself to open her eyes and look at him. She did not bother trying to school her features into anything similar to calmness. He might as well see how incoherent she was feeling… perhaps it would finally make him go away…!
"Leave. Me. Alone." Every syllable was emphasized with her voice, since it was breaking–
No. She could not break now. She needed to hold herself together… just long enough for him to leave… as soon as he left, she could let her guard down completely and…
But he was not leaving. Why was this insensitive man not leaving!?
He continued to just stare at her. Impassively. He truly didn't have a heart, did he…?
She could feel the lump in her throat, ready to explode – she truly could not hold out for much longer…
She blinked determinedly. She would. She would manage to steel herself. To control the foolish, weak part of her that was about to fall apart–
With an unexpected movement, he brought a hand up to caress her face. Instinctively, she slapped it away.
"Don't touch me!"
Her voice was shrill and sharp. Inwardly, she took notice of her lack of control over her emotions and disapproved of it, but that feeling was weak compared to the ones that were about to take over.
Her inner conflict did not allow her to notice that he was beginning to get angry. That was because, even after all this time…
His words would have been more than enough as explanation, had she been lucid enough to fully absorb their meaning.
"I am your husband, Arturia, and you still don't trust me…!"
She did not ponder over what he had said.
"I don't care! Being bound by a soulless marriage contract doesn't mean you have the right to touch me!"
He got closer and put both his hands on her cheeks, quieting her protests – and interrupting her mental struggle, with his firm voice breaking through her tormented thoughts.
"You know that I did not mean any offense to you, and all I wanted was to give you some comfort, you stubborn, distrusting woman!"
In a sudden gesture, he leaned down to kiss her lips fiercely, making her eyes widen in shock and anger.
"Is this contact, this human contact, so disgusting for you? Is it distasteful for you to have someone trying to comfort you without intending you any harm?" His eyes, still so close to her face since he had pulled away only slightly after kissing her, narrowed at her. "Is this so bad, Arturia?"
His voice was still firm but, all of a sudden, there was a gentler side to it. His thumbs caressed her cheeks softly, and finally, something inside her just broke.
Iri, Kiritsugu, Shirou, the little baby, the new job, the moving, the marriage, her parents… everything that had happened in the past few years jumbled up in her head, she just could not take it anymore, and let it all out.
First came the tears, or rather, the waterfalls running down not only her cheeks but also his hands – because they had not released her – and he held her face even as her eyes melted in front of him.
Then there were dry sobs, heart-wrenching sounds she hadn't even known she was capable of producing, which filled the tiny room with all her feelings of misery, sadness, hurt, but also relief, that endless sensation of relief she could finally abandon herself to, as she let everything that had happened finally overwhelm her…
…for perhaps the very first time in her life.
She had not cried when her parents had died. She had not cried when her brother-in-law had died and had thrown Iri and Shirou into depression and without any means to support themselves. She had not cried when her sister had been at death's door. She had not cried when she had realized the magnitude of what she had decided to sacrifice with her wedding. But in this moment… she did cry.
Because it was over.
Through that complete breakdown, she did not miss it. She did not truly fail to notice how Gilgamesh stayed there with her, in this little, inconsequential room in the hospital, and held her wordlessly as she presented the worst side of herself and cried out all her tears.
This broken moment she just could not avoid, the moment in which she just needed to cry, to let every second of stress and worry and desperation leave her because things were finally fine…
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She knew weeping people were not a pretty sight, and while she personally did not care about looks, she was aware of the fact that Gilgamesh was different.
That late evening, in that small room, she clung to him for dear life, sobbing into his chest and getting his clothes completely wet. And he let her – he let her and held her body close to him, his arms firmly remaining around her the whole time.
Later, she followed him silently to the car, eyes completely dry after having poured out everything they had, and body feeling numb and drained. She could not remember the details of the rest of the evening.
She must have fallen asleep during the brief car ride, but she had later woken up in her bed, with a bottle of water on her bedside table. He must have carried her there. She had memories of having dreamt it, as strange as it sounded.
The last thing she did remember before falling asleep again was a brief, impossibly brief, conversation.
"Gilgamesh."
She had waited for him to look at her from his own bed, where he had sat down.
"Thank you."
She had been too tired to say anything more than that, but she knew that she had refused to allow herself to fall asleep before saying something to him.
It was the least she could do – the least she could do for all he had done for her was thank him.
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