A/N: Warning: while not too detailed, there are descriptions of internal body organs. Thank you to Jolanikati for editing!
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"Mrs. Ria…? Would you… could I…? I mean, may I speak with you, please?"
Arturia looked up from the newspaper she was cutting. She had found a mind puzzle game and the instructions for a detailed origami that she intended to bring to Shirou.
Now that Illya was born and Iri was regaining her health, things were slowly but surely starting to return to normalcy, and she found herself busy with tasks that could be considered mundane more often than not.
Therefore, the sudden question from Sakura in the early evening was quite unexpected. From the faint sounds coming from the kitchen, it was not difficult to guess that she had already put dinner in the oven and had come to the living room to speak with her in a moment she knew Gilgamesh was not present.
Sakura was tormenting her hands fretfully, prompting Arturia to push the newspaper to the side. She would give the young girl her full attention.
"Of course, Sakura. Please, do sit down."
Now playing with the hem of her apron, the purple-haired girl took a seat while seeming quite nervous.
"I'm sorry to be asking this of you, Mrs. Ria… I am not sure about what to do, and I… if that were okay… would like advice. I know this is very forward and I don't mean to be arrogant in this and I'm sorry for being a burden and–"
"Sakura," Arturia said, gently interrupting her. "You are not just an employee, you are a friend. Feel free to tell me anything you wish to."
Sakura was only five years her junior; even though it was true that she was technically her employee, there was no need for excessive formalities. The girl stared at her knees and took a deep breath, the woman's words seeming to have calmed her, at least a bit.
"Mrs. Ria, Uncle Kariya… he asked if he could adopt Rin and I, or at least have guardianship over us, and he would like us go live with him."
Arturia did not have surprise to express. She had expected something like this to happen, with Kariya's obvious affection for the two girls; maybe she had just not expected it so soon. It was clear though that it wasn't all and Sakura had something more to tell her.
"I am… not sure about accepting."
Arturia nodded for her to continue. After the time in which she had wrongly suspected Gilgamesh of cheating on her, she had learned to avoid starting to form an opinion on any situation until she had all the facts straight.
"Please don't get me wrong, I love Uncle Kariya," Sakura said rapidly, noticeably frightful that Arturia would misunderstand her. "He's been so much like a father to us, sometimes it feels as if he truly is our father. But officially being adopted by him… going to live with him… I don't know. He… he loves Rin and I, and he is being here for us, always. I know we can trust him. But… back then… he was not there, before. When we truly needed someone, he wasn't there."
Arturia observed the young girl's expression, which was a mixture of frustration, confusion, anxiety and sadness. She had an inkling that she knew the reason why Sakura was uncertain.
Very gently, she said, "I assume you are referring to the time after your parents died."
Sakura gave a small nod with her head, and as her eyes turned into a stormflow of lilac, she repeated her words once more.
"He was not there for us then. He was not there for Rin and for me, he did not seek us out. When we truly needed help, he wasn't there."
Arturia, with the same gentleness, went on to ask, "Did you ever ask him the reason for that, Sakura?"
The blonde woman knew what Sakura was talking about, because she had been with Iri and Kariya enough times in the past to understand the man's story.
Kariya had loved his childhood friend, Aoi, very deeply. She had been conscious of his feelings for her but, being unable to return them, had asked him to keep his distance. In spite of that, she had still occasionally made contact with him, letting him know about her marriage and the subsequent birth of her two daughters.
However, after Rin had been born, Aoi had finally realized that keeping in touch with a man who loved her in a way that she was never going to reciprocate was selfish of her; she cared about him as a friend, but she was hurting him by behaving in such a way. She had therefore decided to say farewell to him; and Kariya, who loved her dearly, had respected her wishes and had stayed away.
Due to this, he had not known about Aoi's death immediately, and that was the reason why he 'had not been there for them', as Sakura had said, and he had also not known about their difficult financial situation.
Arturia was however aware of the fact that, unless it became unavoidable, it wasn't her place to clarify those things to the girl, because they were private and Kariya had the right to tell her about them herself.
The girl bit her lip.
"I didn't talk with him about it, that is true."
Arturia looked into Sakura's eyes firmly.
"You asked for my advice, Sakura. I cannot – and will not – decide for you about the guardianship or the adoption. But I would advise you to speak with both Kariya and Rin about this, and not make a decision before you have talked with him at length."
Then she gave a glance at the clock, suppressing a small smile. "And if you are baking a pie, I believe it's time to take it out of the oven."
Sakura jumped up immediately.
"You're completely right, Mrs. Ria, I'm sorry! And thank you!" she exclaimed, as she rushed towards the kitchen.
Taking back the scissors, Arturia leaned on the newspaper again, the faintest hint of a smile appearing on her lips.
If Sakura had an honest talk with Kariya, the blonde woman had little doubt that in a few months she and Rin were going to find a family again with the man who loved them as if they were his own daughters.
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A young baby needed a lot of time and care, Arturia realized during the following month. Between her, Iri and – to no one's surprise – Kariya, little Illya was however never left without someone to fuss over her.
Doctor Diarmuid confirmed that she was indeed healthy, and the way she screamed for hours to an end was corroboration enough of the fact that she had, at the very least, a very healthy pair of lungs. Iri was still unable to get up from bed, exhausted from giving birth, and she was recovering much more slowly than the doctors expected. They couldn't give her too many heavy medicaments nor perform complete and accurate check-ups until her body recuperated a little more strength, which meant that her currently stable situation was temporary.
However, she was able to nurse Illya – since she wasn't taking any strong medicines – and remain awake without any major problems, therefore it seemed certain that her health would be regained in due time. Both Arturia and Kariya were of course always there to help her – as was little Shirou.
Shirou had proven to be very good in helping his mother, even though he was a bit puzzled when his little sister started screaming, either to be nursed or to have her diaper changed. He often stared in wonder as his Uncle Kariya and Auntie Ria explained to him what needed to be done to look after such a young child.
Arturia continued with her work at Uruk Enterprises as usual, but asked Gilgamesh for both of them to be excused from social gatherings for a while, since there was now a little baby who needed an attention that Iri alone was unable to completely provide, at least for the time being.
Besides, Christmas was approaching. It was true that for New Years the Uruk couple was expected to appear at a public event somewhere, but until then, everything was going to be focused on celebrating the festivity on their own. Arturia was not overly fond of the gift-exchanging tradition, since she considered much more valuable the things that could not be bought, but she made sure to prepare small, thoughtful presents for all the people she knew – and she did not ask her husband for money, but used her own.
She had her own pay-checks and, while Gilgamesh paid for Iri's medications and her wardrobe, for things like presents she was definitely not going to ask for his money.
She may very well have married him because she needed a financial deal, but that did not mean that she didn't have any morals left – or that she would demand money from him unreasonably, for every little whim.
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During one of the usual lunches with her husband, Arturia had her mind so full with all the new things she had just learned about properly taking care of Illya that she was completely distracted from everything else going on around her.
Only when Gilgamesh repeated her name twice did she realize that she had been spacing out. Seeing his annoyance, she could not help looking a little apologetic and then swiftly explaining what had been occupying her mind.
As she talked, she noticed that his expression was becoming harder and harder to decipher. Could it be that he actually looked bored by what she was telling him? After all, he disliked children, so having her talking incessantly about them wasn't the best–
She had to stop in her thoughts. What proof did she have of what she merely thought were his tastes? Instead of making assumptions – as she had done other times, and it had never turned out well – she should inquire directly, since they were currently on that precise subject.
She looked at him in curiosity and put forth her question very straightforwardly.
"Gilgamesh, you dislike children very much, don't you?"
She saw him freeze for a second, but he was very fast in hiding what he was thinking and merely gave her a blank look. Understanding that he was silently questioning her on the reason for asking something like that, she shrugged lightly.
"It's the general impression I have, and your words directed at Mrs. McRemitz on this same subject seemed to support my theory. That's why I'm asking."
Gilgamesh concentrated on the plate in front of him for a while, finishing the rest of his meal in dignified silence, before slowly looking back at her.
"Indeed I cannot claim I feel particularly attracted to children, as they are still in need of growth and the immaturity they display is often capable of producing quite some annoyance. However," his expression turned slightly haughtier, "since most children grow into impossibly foolish adults, their younger version is infinitely better, or, at the very least, much less boring. Therefore, to answer your question, Arturia… I don't necessarily dislike children."
Having finished eating, he took out his agenda, most likely to check his appointments, but Arturia wasn't ready to let the subject drop right away. She had another question to ask him, a question she might have preferred asking Enkidu, but she could not deny that getting an answer from the direct source was much better.
"Do you wish for children of your own?"
She said these words with what she considered sufficient detachment in her tone, because after all, she was merely curious, and she didn't want anything else implied in her question. She wanted to understand what her husband thought about the subject; she was indeed oddly interested in finding out if he had ever entertained the notion of becoming a parent.
She could not determine whether she was relieved or disappointed when he didn't even look at her and instead dialled a number on his phone, preparing to give his subordinates instructions for the afternoon.
As he stood up – she did as well, getting ready to leave – his phone was glued to his ear, yet he succinctly and perplexingly replied, in a tone making it very clear that the subject was not to be brought up again, "Not at the moment."
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Soon enough, it was Christmas Eve.
Although it was not an officially celebrated occasion in Japan – or rather, not religiously – there were still decorations everywhere and the city of Tokyo seemed even more magical than usual. A soft snow had begun to fall the night before, and it enhanced the eerie yet mystic aspect of the entire scenery.
Together with Gilgamesh, Arturia went to the hospital, where she knew Sakura and Rin were going to be, to first take care of Illya for a while and then to play with Shirou later. They had plans of spending the day there quietly, in each other's company, even though Gilgamesh had already made it clear that he was going to go to the office as soon as it became too much for his tastes. He also confirmed that he had several phone calls to make, and Enkidu was going to drop by later in the day as well.
But all their plans had to be completely disregarded when a frantic Kariya met them at the entrance of the hospital.
Out of breath and very obviously not in his usual calm state, the grey-haired man explained, "Mrs. Ria, Mr. Uruk, I was about to call you. Iri has to undergo an operation and–"
Doctor Diarmuid appeared at his side, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Go back to her, Kariya. I will speak with them myself."
Kariya did not need to be told twice and left a suddenly stony-faced Arturia alone to listen to her cousin's grim explanation.
They had discovered that apparently, contrary to what they had thought, after Illya's birth, not the entirety of the placenta had been taken out. The remaining tissues had gotten infected and were causing Irisviel extreme pain, and needed to be surgically removed as soon as possible. However, it was not possible to put her into an artificial sleep; chances were that even a small dose of sedatives would be too strong for her still frail body and she would never wake up again.
"Therefore it must be local anesthetization," Arturia deduced, her face a mask that Diarmuid was unable to decipher. "I'll go to her."
The black-haired man nodded, and he guided the Uruk couple to the antechamber before the surgery room.
Gilgamesh could not help staring at his wife's expression as they walked towards the room. Now that no one else was watching, she had let her previous mask slip for a few moments. He had never seen such anxiety on her face before, especially because she usually did all she could to not show what her emotions were, and even now, she was trying hard not to let them be visible.
Seeing such distress on Arturia, he could not stop himself from wondering what her expression must have been like eight months before, the night in which she had found out about Irisviel's sickness and pregnancy. For the first time, he thought he could see a glimpse of the desperation that had pushed her to overcome her pride and make a deal with him even though she had deeply disliked him.
On her part, Arturia was engaged in a furious battle with the denial inside herself.
It could not be possible. No. No. It could not be… right when everything was going so well…
After Iri's coma, her sickness, Illya's birth, after going through all that had happened in the past months, was there truly another hardship ready to plague them? Once again…?
As foolish, childish and incomprehensible as it was, Arturia felt a strange sensation of comfort when suddenly Gilgamesh's hand touched her shoulder briefly. The contact did not last for more than a second, since they were still walking, but it helped her. It made her focus again, and she felt a surge of gratitude towards him for that small gesture. She had new determination to do what she had to now.
Everyone else was already there. Kariya was reassuringly telling Iri that little Illya was asleep, and Sakura and Rin immediately offered, with serious expressions, to go stay with the baby until the surgery was over. Iri thanked them weakly, and then her face brightened with a relieved smile as she saw her sister enter the room. Shirou was keeping next to the bed where she was lying, as was Kariya.
Arturia did not have the time to exchange words with Iri, because Diarmuid turned to face everyone.
"Only one person is allowed inside the room with the patient during the operation." Then he looked at Iri's face, very seriously. "It's not going to take a long time, but it will not be easy. Who would you like to have at your side, Irisviel?"
"My sister." There was no hesitation in her tone.
Diarmuid nodded towards Arturia, and then gave a sharp glance in Kariya's direction.
"Kariya, I will have need of your competence for this surgery. Can you handle it?"
The meaning of his question was clear: he was specifically asking if Kariya could handle the pressure of operating on a person he cared about. But Diarmuid should not have underestimated the grey-haired man.
His eyes held nothing but determination and firmness as he stared at the doctor.
"I can."
Diarmuid nodded, and opened the doors to the surgery room. Another doctor and two other nurses were already putting on their gloves and masks.
"Everyone else, please leave the room," Kariya asked quietly.
But Shirou did not let go of his mother's hand. He shook his head when Arturia addressed him, and he shouted loudly when Diarmuid tried to loosen his grasp.
"No! I will not leave mommy! Let me go! Let me go!"
There was little time – Iri needed to undergo the operation as soon as possible, and Shirou could not stay with her as that happened.
Suppressing the emotions that made her want to hold her nephew and promise him that everything was going to be fine, Arturia knew she had no other choice but to be harsh.
"Shirou – leave the room this instant."
She had never used such a stern tone with him, and the boy's eyes widened, swelling with tears of shock and confusion as he let go of his mother's hand.
Kariya was shocked as well, and stared at Arturia with a mix of wariness and reproach.
In a low voice that the little boy couldn't hear, he hissed at her, "How can you be so cold and unfeeling towards him?"
Arturia's eyes were firmer than Kariya had ever seen them, the steely glint in them making her appear much older than she was.
"Because, right now, I need to be, and you know that."
Kariya's eyes widened slightly, and as he understood what she meant, he gave her a short nod – a brief form of an apology, but an apology for his outburst nonetheless – which she returned.
Shirou opened his mouth to say something, undoubtedly trying to find a way to stay in the room but, to everyone's surprise, Gilgamesh grabbed his outstretched hand.
"Come, boy."
His tone, same as Arturia's, did not leave any room for argument. The tears now flowing unrestrained down his cheeks, Shirou had no choice but to follow him out. Before the door closed behind them – Sakura and Rin having left when previously instructed to – blood red eyes met emerald green ones.
The glance her husband gave her was enough to reassure Arturia about the fact that he would look after Shirou while she wasn't there, therefore she turned to face Diarmuid, Kariya and Iri. Iri's expression was anxious.
"Ria, he–"
Arturia was next to her in a second.
"Shirou will be fine. Trust me, Iri."
Her expression was limpid, not a hint of deceit or lie in it, and her sister nodded, squeezing her hand. Iri did not know what to think of Gilgamesh, but she had complete faith in Arturia.
"Thank you, Ria." Then she gave a very weak smile to Kariya and Diarmuid, feeling new confidence thanks to her sister's steady reassurance. "Let's get this over with."
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Gilgamesh was not very happy about his current situation. He had brought the crying, snivelling boy out in the hospital's park, and he had chosen a bench away from prying eyes where they could sit down. At first, the boy had had to be forced to take a seat, but now he was simply sniffling and remaining quite still in his place.
He suppressed a sigh. He had not exactly made any explicit promises, but he had silently reassured Arturia about the fact that he would look after her nephew while she was with her sister. That was basically as good as giving his word, and he would never go against it, no matter how much it annoyed him.
Therefore, he made the effort of addressing him and explaining the situation.
"Stop crying, boy. Your mother has to undergo surgery and only your aunt can stay with her while that happens. It's not going to be a pleasant operation, so they don't want you to be present to witness that. They both have your best interest in mind, and you should know it." He gave the boy a sidelong glare. "You are staying here until everything is over, is that understood?"
Shirou could do nothing else but nod, and then tried his mightiest to plaster a smile on his face.
Only more irritated by it, Gilgamesh's glare intensified. He did not intend to renounce to his bluntness, not even when he was talking to a five-year-old boy.
"Stop faking happiness. It's a very degrading display."
The boy's golden eyes stared at the man next to him with an equal measure of fright and confusion, but he did no longer attempt to produce a fake smile. Like Auntie Ria, Uncle Gilgamesh talked complicated, but he wasn't as affectionate as her. He was also much blunter, and that made it even more intimidating.
Gilgamesh pondered briefly. He knew that, assuming everything went well, the operation was probably going to take about an hour, and until things were done, he was going to have to stay with the brat.
Suppressing another sigh, he reached the conclusion that he could not spend the entire time in silence. The boy was not his aunt; Arturia was able to read his moods and know when he wanted to be in silence and when he wanted to have a conversation, but it was admittedly too much to ask from a young child.
Besides, it wasn't like Arturia adapted herself to his moods: she took notice of them but she always stood her ground, especially when she thought his moods were unacceptable.
Pushing thoughts about his wife out of his mind for the moment – she was always finding space there, and he had given up on trying to keep her out of it – he decided to ask a harmless question that was not likely to provide any entertainment for him, but was still going to be better than nothing.
"Have you already thought about what you want to do when you grow up?"
The boy's head snapped up and surprised him with the steady look that settled on his features.
"Yes. I want to save everyone. I want to become a hero of justice!"
And there went Gilgamesh's plan for harmless.
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