From where the guards have me wait for the tournament I can hear the trumpets blare to announce the opening of the tournament in honor of the king. They say it as if they honor the current king, but they're honoring the man they wish to see as king. I don't think the current king would approve of this tournament.
I've taken off the bandana Noriko made for me and left it in my bag. I don't want to destroy it. Even the hint of the possibility makes me shiver given her words to me and the time she spent on it. I'm also wearing what the fighters wear - pants and a short sleeve top that won't give much purchase to be grabbed during the fight. I do wear the wraps on my forearms. I don't need the scales to be seen. They'll only look like a defense to the spectators.
The guards give me a wooden bat as my tool to defend myself with. That means swords are illegal in fighting tournaments. I'm glad there are still a few reasonable rules, but bats kill, too. I'm announced and urged out the fancy entrance to go into the fighting arena here in the castle.
There are stands set up around three sides. On one of them with fancy draperies sits Nada in a chair similar to a throne. His guests sit with him. On a different side, close to the wall of the castle I came out of is a covered area. It isn't too obvious, because Duke Jeida sits there with his three young men, guarded, and it looks like they're also chained as I was. It's good they aren't close to Nada.
As I enter the center of the ring, Nada rises to his feet, needing to feel self-important. "You fool, Izark. You have no idea what's about to happen to you, do you? Let me introduce the guys you'll be fighting." The seventeen sturdy fighting men run out from under a different opening and surround me. Each holds a wooden bat in hand and leers at me, save Barago, who is looking angry.
Nada continues, like a child who needs all the attention. "Gentlemen, you may already have realized what's happening, but let me tell you that this first match is purely for entertainment. The guy standing in the middle of the arena is a traveling warrior who doesn't know his place. He acted rudely towards me so I decided to have him fight all my palace guards at once. Now he's going to show us how good he is. Let's all enjoy watching the fight."
The numbers of spectators who cheer and call out surprise and sicken me. They enjoy coming here and know what Nada likes - blood and death. They also are here for that "entertainment". How can men be so evil? Even a few women are here. My stomach turns, but I have a job to do. Nada is going to pay me to steal his prisoners from him.
Grand Duke Jeida rises to his feet in anger. "This isn't a fair game at all. End it now! Why don't you all ask him to stop it? This is disgusting!" He's shoved back into his seat by his guards and talked badly about by many around the field. He has my gratitude and respect for being willing to stand up to the evil, even when chained in the house of his enemy.
Nada calls the beginning of the match. Barago immediately calls out, "Nobody move! Let me go first!" They all know he has a vendetta against me, so they let him come at me. That works for my plan so I move to meet him, allowing him to clash into me. I defend close enough to my body to talk to him quietly. He agrees to my plan and I hit him hard enough to send him out of the ring of encircling warriors. They jeer and a few rush me. He disappears into the castle to do his part.
I dodge the first man to reach me, moving fast enough to dodge all of his swings. That makes him angry and he comes at me with a strong blow. I stop the bat with a simple hand held out. My energy shield takes the force of the blow. He pulls back, but my grip on the bat is greater than his. I shove the end of the bat closest to him into his solar plexus, using energy behind it and he is blown into the man standing behind him.
Now I have two bats. The other men, angry that I've bested two of them now, rush me. I slam the bats together, then run around the field giving each one of them good smacks that put them on the ground. I'm moving too fast for them to find me, or touch me.
The last one falls and I return to the center of the field. I play with the bats, spinning them around in front of me, and then one behind my back to catch it again, as if I am an acrobat. I've often found this to be an effective deterrent. Gaya did it when she defended me from the thugs in the caravan to get them to back off - and they did. I liked it as an alternative to always attacking or only defending.
"What's wrong?" I taunt them as they try to recover. "Don't want to fight any more?" I need to delay the end of the fight, so I've only put them on the ground, not really damaged them for how tough they are. It was a surprise move so they're more stunned than harmed at this point.
"The rat. He's entertaining himself," an angry voice says from the spectators. I think it was Nada, who doesn't like things suddenly turning around on him. He is the one who shouts out while shaking his folded fan angrily at his warriors. "What are you guys doing! You're only fighting one guy, so hurry up and kill him! Remember, you're fighting for my honor."
A threat even. Not wise when there are this many and all stronger than you are. They're up on their feet again, however. The bravest one, who has a cheat, gives them the pep talk, like the leader of the thieves in Calco did. "Let's pull ourselves together, guys. This guy's really tough. It's time to quit playing around. Let's get serious." He's setting up the other men to fall so he can use his special power to win in the end, just like all those who stand in his place and get cocky having something "extra".
The rest rush me and I leap into the air, landing outside their now compact grouping. I rush them and hit each of them harder this time. One of the men grabs my arm, his fingers grasping onto the wrap on my arm. I throw him and his grip is tight enough he tears the wrap. I cover the hole with my other hand to hide the scales. They've been slowly expanding ever since Noriko arrived, although I've had them since I was a child.
Do I go back to her? Or once everyone from here is safe again, do I leave her with them and move on alone? They might get into trouble again, but I know there are strong people with them. Gaya, Barago, and perhaps Agol who protected her before when I couldn't. Once they are in a different country, will they be able to live peacefully again?
After she talked to me last night, I sat on my bed, leaning against the wall. I couldn't deny that talking to her had made me feel so happy inside. The last days without her have been full of confusion, darkness, and loneliness. I'm drowning, but I'm drowning either way. Is it better to drown in the final days of life in happiness or darkness?
I'm torn, but having had it in my life finally for the last three months, I'm beginning to believe I'd rather be happy. That will have to fight against my fear, but it has more weight now than it did just being the wishes of the child inside of me. I have a proper comparison now.
"Izark!" comes from the castle side of the arena. I turn and a man I don't recognize, but dressed to fight is rushing me, a bat in hand. His other hand is hiding something, held close to his body. This must be Agol. I allow him to get close. "What are you going to do with this?" he asks as he shoves a small container into me.
I take it from him. "Bring this farce to an end," I tell him. In two more swings, I've sent him out of the main area as well, with a blow that doesn't do much damage.
I already have my wind protecting me when the wind of the other man who can control it comes my way. He's sent more than paralyzing poison at me. I make it swirl away where it can't harm others. I wouldn't be surprised if he had one in that mixture that kills. I act like I'm frozen, but mostly because I'm gathering my strength. Because I need what I hold to reach all of the spectators and guards, I need to call on more power than what I normally do. My teeth elongate and my vision becomes sharp. That's enough power.
"Ha ha! I've done it!" the man exults. Some of his comrades fall to the ground, having gotten a little of his poison because they were too close to his wind and he wasn't careful with it. "Here! It's your turn to faint!"
I turn and look at him, letting him see my eyes. He freezes in shock. "I don't fall for the same trick twice," I tell him. I hear Barago and Agol fighting the guards that surround Duke Jeida and then the order for him and his men to protect their noses and mouths and to get down as low to the ground as possible, as I instructed.
I hold up the jar in my hand and my wind whips up strongly with me in the calm center. I smash the jar on the ground and the dust in it is picked up by my wind. I carry it to all the field. I need even the watching guards around the outer perimeter to sleep so we can escape without warning given. I try to keep it from reaching the Duke's hidden place. I'm sure Barago made sure the guards there were knocked out.
The spectators cry out in surprise at the sudden wind and Nada squeals like a small pig, then is falling as the poison paralyses his legs. When everyone is passed out, I calm the wind and go to where the Duke is. I check on him first. He was breathing into his sleeve and seems okay. I help him up as the others rise to their feet.
"The others are waiting for us to the north," I say. "We have a few things to collect before we leave, though. Can you and your men go to the stables and saddle horses for us? We'll need one extra one." I turn to Agol. "Do you know where they are? Can you take them there?" Agol nods and they hurry off after he's unlocked the chains on them using a key from one of the unconscious guards.
I head over to Nada and write "Idiot" on his face, because that's what he is. Then I go into the castle to retrieve my bag. Barago stops me. "I'm coming with you. Is there anything else you need?"
I pause, then ask, "Where's the treasury? Nada owes me twenty bags of gold."
Barago stares at me, then smiles, and then laughs a long hearty laugh that sounds like a dog barking. "I like you," he says. "He most definitely does, and one more besides. I'll witness to it, too." He claps me on the shoulder and leads me that way. We stop at the kitchens on the way to pick up food as well, then we're meeting the others at the stable and riding away hard. We need to escape now before people start waking up.
-o-o-o-
When we're finally to where the stadium is, we go around the town to the north side. The wind brings me the scent of Noriko, missing now for three days, and I lead everyone straight for where she is. When we're close enough, I jump off my horse.
Gaya is hurrying up to me, her arms outstretched. "There you are! I'm glad to see all of you safe!"
I hurry so she won't hug me. "Gaya, we've brought you a horse. You'll ride this one. Geena will ride with her father. Noriko will ride with -," I turn and Noriko is standing right in front of me and I freeze. The last time I saw her, things were cold and strained between us and she was different. I'd forgotten in my worry and relief to hear her.
She puts her hand lightly on the side of the bandana she made me. I'm suddenly glad I put it back on before leaving the castle. I don't want her angry with me. While she has a very odd expression on her face, she seems as cool as before, and her words are words of ownership and servitude at the same time, "You're still wearing it. Thank you, Izark. I'm glad to see you're safe."
Her other hand lands lightly on my chest, then she's suddenly the water fountain again and her arms are wrapped around me tightly. "That hurt so badly, Izark," she whispers. "Don't do that again. Please."
Now is not the time for this, for all I understand why she would cry. I move to push her back and she lets go on her own, but her hand reaches out and takes mine. I don't know what she's doing now and I'm sure I couldn't be redder for yet another public display of affection.
"Which horse?" she asks as if nothing happened. Or perhaps to get me unstuck and moving again, I'm not sure which. Her hug was very warm and pleasant, and I find myself missing her arms as soon as they're gone. I help her up into the extra horse's saddle and leap up behind her. Everyone else is ready to go. Gaya points the direction we need to go and we all take off at a gallop.
When we're far enough we feel we can let the horses rest and carry us slower, Noriko asks me quietly if I'll let us lag behind to talk privately. I apologize to the group and slow down our horse, saying it's tired extra fast carrying two of us, but we'll continue to follow them and catch up if things become difficult. I get a few eyes from people who believe I have other motives. Noriko either doesn't see them or doesn't care.
Her first words to me make me not care either. Their assumptions are just fine. I'm not pleased that the other young men in our group already look at her with eyes that see a potential mate. She's kind and just different enough to draw the eyes of men. I can't care if what I feel could be labeled jealousy. If we come out the other side of our destiny intact, she'll be mine. If we don't, we'll both be dead. There doesn't need to be anyone else stepping into places they don't belong.
It's interesting that she also feels the same and was like that on my arrival in order to set them back into place, to tell them that she wants to only be by my side. I'm relieved somewhat to know it was a play. I frown slightly. Was she doing that at Gaya's, too? Acting in such a way she could stand to see me go? Her request to never leave her again or cause her that pain seems to say so.
Noriko takes the rein out of my right hand with her left, and takes my right hand and places it over her heart. I can feel it beating a steady tempo. "I am Izark's. Only he can fill the hole in my heart that hurt for the last three days. Did you finally feel it this time?"
Many things flash through my mind all at once. Noriko is talking about something specific. She's referencing my very last thought, that she was a servant in action, but to cover a pain in order to be obedient to my request that she stay safely with Gaya. And, she's known for some time that there's a thing between us that she feels I don't recognize.
It's that specific thing she said on the hill before we reached the town. That there's a thread between us that can't be denied. She's not talking about our destiny. She didn't know it then and I don't think she knows it now. She's talking about something she's logically reasoned out for herself exists between the two of us.
I think back through the last three days to see what I might have felt differently. It's her words that she had a hole that can only be filled by my presence that my own soul resonates with. There was also an empty place inside me that could only be filled by her. Until I knew she was okay, I was empty there. It wasn't just my compassion for a fellow sojourner on this planet. "Yes. ...But I don't know why." What has she learned?
She actually says, "I have been learning it. May I tell you?"
I sit in shock briefly, then turn her around enough to look into her face. "You will ask if you can teach? Not just teach?"
She blushes and looks down. "Yes."
I grin at her a small grin, trying to not let it out too much. This is new, for the Teacher to meekly ask if I even want to hear. I feel like she's opened herself up to the tease and I couldn't let it be. "Okay. Teach." I really do want to know, but I enjoy her expression of self-scolding embarrassment for all the times she didn't ask. I take my hand and the rein back to listen.
She tells me of the time she left me in Calco to find the doctor. On the return, she couldn't remember which building was our inn. She desperately asked in her heart for which one I was in and was immediately answered there in her heart which one it was, and it was correct.
She tells me of when she fell asleep after I learned she'd done her dangerous experiment, that she knew where I was in the inn in Calco and when I'd lain down to sleep. Then in the morning she'd been cold because I wasn't near, and had felt it immediately upon rising, before even knowing I'd left. When I arrived again in the city, she felt me coming closer and knew before I rounded the corner I was come.
She speaks of how that changed slowly over time as we traveled together and because it was consistent, she began to experiment to see if I was also affected by it, or just her. When the horse bucked her off she wasn't worried. She knew where I was and how far away and followed me at the right distance to not get into trouble with the shadow insects.
"You always are looking for me anxiously at the same distance I am looking for you, also feeling anxious," she says. "Around the fire, as I would gather firewood, it didn't matter. I tested trying to go farther and you would panic and come find me, but it was my panic, too, even if I really wanted to go farther. It was very hard to do those tests. And if you got anxious because you could sense creatures coming, I would feel anxious and return more quickly."
Then she tells me of her last experiment, when we walked from that last house to the town. "I knew I had time to take off my shoes and carry the others for a while, but I knew when I sat to put the others on, you would stop and look for me, that it would take too long and you wouldn't be able to keep walking until I was done.
"It was flexible, how far you let me get behind you until then. After then, it was always ten feet. If I walked slow, or fast, you changed to be the same. It wasn't kind to play like that, although it was experimentation, so I stopped. I closed my eyes and didn't open them again until you pushed on that thread to tell me it was time to stop. I was at three feet from you and I already knew I would be standing there.
"It was the same as I knew that if I ran towards the town, you would let me go until you decided you were done with how thin the thread had stretched between us and would come to catch me. I have never doubted that this thread will bring you back to me, and me to you every time. That's why I said it, that you would come back."
I'm trying to see it. I've always used my wind to know where she is, and if she was safe. It's my natural habit. She can't manipulate the wind, and when I use it for that, it's very gentle - enough most people don't notice it. I wonder if she's learned to. But if she tried to go farther and found it so difficult and I responded anyway, that doesn't fit the model. I would have only made the wind stronger and should have been okay as long as there weren't monsters or dangerous creatures around.
And when she ran from me, I didn't use the wind. I used my energy to see if she would run from it or return to death. And at the end, I had the overwhelming feeling that she would not get away, would not leave me, and would be mine. So much so that later I wondered at it. It had overwhelmed all my other voices, even my fear. It may not be a safe thread, if it's tied to that feeling I had that day. That's a feeling I would ascribe to the Sky Demon.
She doesn't end there. "When you left Aunt Gaya's I was worried. I waited very still to see what would happen to that thread. I knew you wouldn't come back for a feeling. I was glad when she put her arm around me and turned me back into the store. I would have run out of the door and back to you without intending it. I don't know how far you were when it happened. The thread broke and I had only an empty, cold, dark hole in my heart. Every time I stopped thinking of things, I was thinking of you.
"After the fight and I was left alone in the house, I wanted to find you very badly. Aunt Gaya had told me I should, but where was I to look? I knew you weren't in the town, and the thread was broken." She turns to look at me over her shoulder. Her face is sober. "I kept waking up and being frightened. One time it was because cold water was running over my hand. I was holding a thermos and filling it. I looked into my bag and it was packed to travel. I'd done it without even being aware." I can see how that would be frightening.
"I became upset with whatever it was that was making me do that, so I asked into that space where the thread should have been where you were that it was going to drag me to through a dangerous city while sleeping with my eyes open so that I would die before walking twenty houses." I blink. She's even feisty against what I'm feisty against. "And it pointed the direction I should go."
My breath catches. Even I looked towards where she was without knowing it, had been on the roof without knowing how I'd gotten there, calculating how to get back to her before I'd decided I would go.
"That town is frustrating. I would follow the line but it was pointed straight for you. No street in that city walks that straight line. That's how I got lost, then cornered by a gang of bullies. I called for you in my heart and mind, wishing for you to free me and protect me from them, even though I knew it wasn't possible. More than once I called you as they would corner me again and again. I literally fell into Agol's lap as I leaped over the wall of the dead end. He saved me from the boys.
"I still wanted to get to you, and I was glad to find someone who might help me get to you and live doing it, but it was too late to try that day. We stayed that night at Aunt Gaya's shop. It had been looted and all there was was a little food to feed us.
"She came back early that next morning before dawn. We were eating an early breakfast together to talk about what we could do, since she'd seen you dropped off at the castle. She followed Duke Jeida and the soldiers there and was watching the gate. Agol said he would be willing to help, and then I heard your voice.
"When I answered you, then I saw you and you saw me and we talked. I was relieved to know you were okay. She said you'd been knocked out and were unconscious. When we were at the inn outside the stadium, Gaya asked me to try to talk to you again, so we could discuss the plans, but everything I tried didn't work.
"I finally asked Geena to teach me what the seers did to see. I tried that. I relaxed like I was on the raft on the river in the caves, then put my wish to talk to you into that place in my heart, and pulled on the thread to bring us closer together. Then I was able to reach you.
"It takes a lot of energy, just like for seers just beginning to learn to see. I couldn't hold it any longer than we talked." She pauses, then adds, "I think if you hadn't gone away, we wouldn't have learned to see or hear each other. The bond was strengthened for the breaking." That doesn't make me feel better. It's yet another sign I may have chosen wrongly to leave her when it was the only thing I could think of to prevent that very thing from happening.
"When I reached for you and we talked, I felt that hole begin to fill again and by the time we were done, I felt you all around me again, even more than before, and I tried to send the same back to you. Since then I can feel you all the time, like a warm comforter inside and around me."
I frown. I did feel her at that time, but there's been nothing else since then. She hasn't been with me for the wind to bring me knowledge of where she is or how she's doing. Not until we were close enough for the wind to bring it to me. "That hasn't happened to me."
"Then you need to try to talk to me. Pull on that hurt, that need to see me, and talk to me through it." I'm not sure I want to do that. I don't trust that link, that thread. She continues to teach, however, not understanding why I hesitate. "You'll need to try and try again until you understand. It took me all yesterday to learn it. It is tiring, so rest between." I still don't answer her. "Izark. It will make it stop hurting, and you'll know where I am again. Is that not enough to help you not be worried?"
I need more answers. "But why do we have this connection?" I ask.
She hesitates. Finally she answers, "Izark knows." That isn't an answer and is too evasive. Now I trust it even less, and my hands tighten on the reins. "Izark. You don't need to be afraid. I will protect you."
Simple, weak Noriko, protect me? "How can you protect me? What do you know?" It comes out bitter. She's the Awakening who'll lead me to destruction. How can that be protection?
"I know, Izark," she says quietly. "I know the seers can't see you or me, not in the present, nor in the future. I know that means that we are protected, and that the future is not set. Not until the decision is made, and maybe even then it is not set."
I'm stunned. How can she know those things? Did she speak more with Geena, to ask about our future, or hers? Why does she believe that our destinies are still flexible? Her further words stun me even more.
"You are not evil, Izark. You have not chosen that. You do not have to choose it. The future is still flexible for you, and for me. Let me help you choose what you want to choose, not what those in the world want to choose for you."
It's what I've been hoping for my whole life. It's what I've never really believed, because no one does. She's come here without preconceived expectations, not even knowing what she is. She's seen it differently. I'm reminded of my whisper to myself. Can I hope? It whispers to me again and in the face of the Teacher I can't move to say yes or no.
With a sigh, Noriko says, "Izark, you can't leave me in the world without your protection and expect me to not hear the words of those around me. Duke Jeida said it, Gaya defined it for me. You know my mind. It wasn't hard to understand it."
She knows. She knows it now. I want to move, but I sit still. I want to flee. Instead I think and even that's hard because turning around on ice hurts when there's pain and fear involved. Even knowing our destinies now, learning it that first night I was gone, she still called for me, ran towards me, hugged me today, is trying to encourage me to have hope, isn't running away, nor accusing me, nor even scolding me for not saying the words to her I couldn't say.
"If you really believe that to have me far from you helps you, then I will do it, but I don't think that is the right thing." Noriko lifts her head to the sky. Because she's sitting in front of me, she can't see my face. "I thought about it last night. You left me and everything that happened in my day, even if frightening, made it so that we had to meet again today.
"Not only that, but we also rescued a good man today, one who wants to do his best. I think Agol wants to do his best also. The other man who helped you, is he also like this? Gaya is as well. Something is helping us, Izark, protecting us and helping us to help other good people. I want to understand what that is. It is not darkness and it is not evil. You are already being used for good because you want to be. I will walk that path with you, if you will let me."
Her words are like a cooling rain after summer's heat. Hard to take into the baked soil, but so desperately needed, so desperately desired by my aching soul that I can only soak them up until they overflow and leak out of my eyes in silent tracks. If only that could be true.
I'm glad I've helped these good people, even if I've been through difficulties. I've always wanted to do good for others, and have done so to the best of my abilities. Is there really something helping us to walk that path, too? Is it even possible?
She turns to look at me and I look away, embarrassed she's seen my tears. Gently she wipes them away from my cheeks. "Izark is beautiful. In all his forms." And I know she's seen them, even though I thought perhaps she hadn't because she's never commented on them.
"You aren't afraid?" I ask gently, not able to believe that either, and testing her.
Noriko shakes her head. "No. I know Izark's heart. There's nothing to fear."
Because I'm grateful for her words I wrap my arm gently around her to hold her close to me. Because I disbelieve and need to test her to see how far that goes, I whisper in her ear, "Would you die for me?"
She freezes slightly, then answers, "If that's what you wanted or needed, but Izark has already ordered me to live for him, so that's what I'm doing." I can feel that she isn't answering me, the compassionate guardian, but the Sky Demon who distrusts and will kill if necessary. Even that's a sign she understands beyond what I thought she did. But it's the right answer.
"And if I were to kill you?" What would she do when the final end comes and that's the result?
Her heart beat increases, but she answers steadily, "I would prevent it because that would make you too sad." Inside I slump a little. She's again answered properly. She spoke to the Izark who's afraid, who she wants to comfort and protect.
It takes me a moment to recover myself from the Sky Demon, then I tell her what it was like for me. That I heard her when she called for me. That I'd been prevented by Nada's men and imprisoned because of the poison of the other wind user. That I'd been surprised to find the Duke and his men in that prison with me to answer to my worries.
I tell her how surprised I'd been that when I called her we were able to talk and see each other. That it had been interrupted by Nada coming to speak to me. That I'd tried to reach her as much as she'd tried to reach me.
Then I look at the hope she's been showing me since she came to the Sea of Trees, and say, "I'll work on learning it. I want to know where you are and that you're safe." It takes all of my courage to say it, but when I have, I feel relieved and anxious to begin learning right away.
Noriko puts her hand on my arm around her shoulders, to comfort me and calm me. "Just start with words. It's easier, and the knowing comes with it. Visions can come later when we're stronger. I think it happened because we both were missing each other too much, and I remember very much wishing I could see you."
I nod, my head still lightly touching hers, where I haven't been able to move from since I whispered in her ear. "Me, too. Wanting must be part of it."
"I think so," she agrees.
I'll learn with her, letting her teach me. If the Teacher can walk us on the path away from Destruction, then I'll walk that way. Even if I fear walking with the Awakening, I'll do it. I loathe the thought of becoming Destruction even more.
