Once again I'm nursing Noriko, who's unconscious. When she fell before me, she exposed her back. I hadn't seen it until then. I'd seen her recover from a stumble as she ran to me. I hadn't seen what caused it. It was one of the first rocks I heard falling as the cliff face was separated from the cliff. It hit her back quite hard, actually. Enough to crack a few ribs and tear her flesh.

I was in shock for more than a few moments at how much blood she'd lost. Through all of the lecture she hadn't given any sign she was in pain. I felt much grief and remorse that she would ignore her own pains to help me calm and try to help me not fear.

At the same time, I couldn't regret it. Not only had I needed to hear some of her words, and likely will need the rest as I ponder them, it was essential that she tell me what I needed to hear to be able to trust her. However, to see I was already to lose her even as she became trustworthy was as if I'd killed her anyway regardless.

I could only look at her, and then my claws. I couldn't treat her wound, nor stem the bleeding. That was slowing anyway as most of her blood was already soaking her dress, down even to the hem, and into her leggings. I had to calm back down from the new panic all over again. I remembered watching Noriko as she cut away the cloth from around the clothing merchant's wounds.

I looked at my claws. They were sharp. If I was very careful... I was afraid to try, desperate to act quickly. She thought the changes would leave me eventually, but I didn't know how long and she couldn't wait. I took a few deep breaths, then carefully lifted the fabric of her dresses with one claw and with great concentration slit them all the way around the wound so that part was free of the rest of it.

Then it was the diseases by the stream all over again as I had to steel myself to slit the dress up and down from that wound so that I could peel it off of her. Actually...I was so desperate I shredded it (carefully) so I wouldn't have to pull it over her head or off her arms. That had been difficult when she'd wanted the dress off when she had the high fever.

By the time that was done, I'd been concentrating so hard I could feel that I would soon lose the form and was relieved. I fetched both of our bags, catching the straps carefully so I didn't cut those, and brought them over next to her prone form. I found the bandana, but only marked where it was. I would need to have proper hands to retrieve that. Then I called up the wind, seeking the closest source of clean water. It was farther down the canyon, but not too far.

The scales that were standing out from my body began to fold in and I held still and observed until they disappeared and my skin returned to it's natural color from the black. When the transformation was completed, I collected the bandana pieces and put them in her bag for her to repair later. Then I carefully picked her up, keeping her upside down, and juggled her and the bags carefully until we reached the small stream.

With a sigh, I finished undressing her after she was in the water with it washing through the wound to gently clean out the pieces of fabric and dirt. While the water did that, I washed the wound on her head. I washed me, too, once my skin wasn't so tender. I really hate the pain. To be both a human and a demon in the same body is quite irritating, really. Not that I want the later. I don't.

I didn't leave Noriko in the stream longer than the wound needed to be cleaned. With that much blood loss, her temperature was already low. The cold water was only lowering it more. I put her on top of a bed of moss that was near the stream to dress her wound, using my fire powers to warm the air around her hot enough to warm her properly. I was glad I had enough herbs to cover both the head wound and the large one on her back. I had just enough of the boneknit to add in, as well. I won't really know if any ribs are broken until she wakes up and tries to breathe deeper breaths.

I didn't have to wear the jacket she made me. This was the first outfit I'd ruined since leaving her with Gaya, and longer, actually, if the most dramatically shredded. I think I might only destroy clothing regularly when she's with me. That's an embarrassing thought, actually. The part of me that's still unhappy with this situation grumbles that it's also a sign that she brings trouble with her.

The new part of me glares back and has much more strength behind it. I say new, but it isn't new. It's the changed part of me. The child has become the adult male that loves the woman Noriko and will protect her from anything. I'm still trying to come to terms with that one. I've never been one to "fall" for a member of the opposite sex. Most of them that I've had any dealings with were troublesome. Even Noriko.

But I've been with her long enough, tested her enough, watched her enough to know that this is what this is. It's why I panic when she's in trouble. Why I'm so angry with anyone who wants to do her harm. I wouldn't do that for the Awakening, but the Teacher and Noriko, who together are the Awakening - I've learned to love them because they first loved me.

I'm not sure she would react to that very well. Particularly since she's been more servant than companion or friend, even on this part of the journey. I finally remembered what came out of my mouth as she collapsed and was surprised by what it had been. I hadn't known that was what that emotion was until I said it. And then I hoped she hadn't heard it, that she was unconscious before then. It doesn't matter to me yet if she returns it. She already loves me enough with her willing help, her happy smiles, and her attempts to help me not have fear and have hope instead.

I realized that it's why I'm jealous for her, though. Returning to the rest of our friends and companions was difficult. I know now why I suddenly want to push Banadam into the next county when he looks at her. Since she called him back from his fear and anger in the forest, his eyes see her even more now than they did after meeting her at Gaya's. I want to help him be blind, but I resist.

Gaya has been tending to Noriko properly now that we're together again. They came following after us, using Geena as a guide, and met me as I came with Noriko. We found a fairly sheltered place to camp on the Guzena side of the border. Barago and Banadam went to the closest village to purchase a wagon and horses, and to see about renting a place where Noriko could heal before we continue on.

The plan is that Gaya and the rest will stay with us until Noriko can at least rise from her bed by herself, then they will continue on to Selena, Guzena, to be with Gaya's sister. We'll join them after Noriko is healed enough to travel again.

It helps me to have Banadam not with us. I'm too worried still about Noriko and don't leave her side unless Gaya chases me off, making me take a break to rest from my worries. I still worry, but I know she cares and is concerned about me also. I don't need her to worry so much over two of us. That's too much worry. I already know.

I love the talks I have with Duke Jeida. His thoughtfulness often shows me insights I wouldn't have considered. He's also concerned - about his wife and daughter who he sent with the captain of the guard to safety when he and his sons left the capital of Zago. Also about his country itself and the chaos and darkness it's descending into. He often bemoans that he couldn't do more for the nation and it's people. His sons will then defend him strenuously and point out the good things he was able to do.

One of those things that Gaya will mention at those times is when he brokered an agreement between the Grey Bird tribe and the nations and peoples who were angry that the tribe of warriors had lost sight of their founding father's maxims. At the time of the negotiations, the tribe had become very strong and powerful. The nations were about to eradicate them completely in retaliation for their greed and ruthlessness.

Duke Jeida managed to get everyone to agree that they wouldn't eradicate everyone in the tribe if the tribe would disband and no longer be one unit. Some members of the tribe were still angry and haven't been living rightly, but many like Gaya were ashamed of the fact they'd lost sight of what had been important in the founding of their tribe, to cause it to fall.

Banadam is very loyal to Duke Jeida for this reason. He's also of the Grey Bird tribe. Sometimes I think they're still a tribe, there just isn't any central authority. They still remain loyal to their heritage regardless.

It's nearing midnight three nights after Noriko was injured. I take the first night watch since I don't sleep then anyway. Everyone else is sleeping in their places around the fire. I'm sitting next to Noriko in my usual place when she whimpers. She isn't awake, but she's distressed by something.

I lightly place my hand on her head to comfort her and check her temperature. She jerks back in surprise, surprising me. She must have some awareness. I'm concerned. Even in that brief moment of touch I could tell she is fevered.

"Izark! Izark!" It's weak and fearful.

I slip my hand into hers where it rests near her face. We have lain her on her belly so that the wound can properly heal. "I'm here, Noriko. I'm with you," I say quietly to not wake the others. She pulls my hand closer to herself, then gasps in pain. "Don't move. You're injured." I don't know how much she remembers in her current state.

"Injured?"

"Didn't you know?" I've been wanting to know.

"No." She trembles and gives a small sob.

"What is it, Noriko? Is it a nightmare...a bad dream?"

She nods slightly. "I can't move, tied down, and an evil is coming and I can't feel you, or find you, or hear you. I'm lost, ...or you are gone. I'm so afraid."

I can't speak for a moment, but I lightly rub the back of her hand with my thumb to hopefully give her some comfort. That is my own waking nightmare. That I will be lost and coming to find her, fully evil. I swallow around the lump in my throat. "Noriko, please...do not be afraid of me." Only her optimism keeps me walking forward. I don't want her to remember what she saw and fear that either, and if that's what she sees in her nightmare that would make me even more sad.

She pulls my hand to her lips and kisses the back of it, then holds it closely to her, as if to find her comfort, or to reassure me. "No. It isn't you. It's something that wants to take me away from you. Something so evil..." She whimpers again and I want to whimper with her. Now she's saying that my fear of that being that paid my parents to take care of me is going to come face me again. I don't know who that was, and still can't understand why they would want the great evil of the Sky Demon to fall upon this world. For that creature or person to take Noriko away from me...

Now that I understand I love her, there begins to open to me another possibility. If they took her and harmed her, or even worse killed her, I'm not sure I would be able to control the great anger I would have. They could potentially unleash the Sky Demon with just that action. I shiver, but Noriko is now rambling in her talking to me, and I can feel the heat coming from her now that my hand is held so closely to her.

I call to Gaya until she wakes up. "Oh. Is it Noriko?" she asks.

"Yes. She's fevered, and having a nightmare. If I leave her side she'll cry and maybe try to move and reopen her injury. Can you please get a cold cloth for her head? We should check her wounds and maybe repoultice them."

Gaya is rising to her feet, large enough that is a chore, but she willingly gets to work, bringing me a cloth wrung out from the bucket we keep here at the campsite and refill daily. I lay the cloth over Noriko's forehead and that helps to calm her some. I slowly slip my hand from her grasp but she's gone again enough she doesn't notice.

While I prepare the poultice, Gaya turns back Noriko's blanket and removes the bandaging. With another cloth, she dabs at the wound. "It is rather hot," she comments to me.

"Place the cold cloth on it until I have this done, but clean it very well first. It may be the herbs pulled out too much poison from the wound. If it's completely rinsed then the new poultice can heal instead of make the poison fester," I instruct.

Gaya tries to be gentle. Noriko doesn't change much in her mental rambling, other than to pause with a sigh of pleasure when the cool cloth is finally laid over her cleansed wound. I nod. That was likely it.

I bring the poultice to Gaya and replace the hot cloth on Noriko's head with another cool one, then check that wound as well. It seems to be fine but I clean it and change it properly as well. All of her is hot, even if not as hot as her first fever. I'm careful with her skin, even still. Even a more mild fever like this one can make already weakened skin be troublesome again.

When Gaya and I are finished, Noriko is already asleep again and her fever is beginning to decrease. "I'll take my turn now," Gaya says, giving me a firm scolding look.

"Yes, Gaya," I say meekly and lie down next to Noriko in my bed. I learned long ago it was better to agree with her sooner than later. There are plenty of us to take watches so it isn't like any of us are up long anyway. I'll still stay awake until my normal time to sleep, but being able to rest here by Noriko is enough to make me content. When Gaya moves away and her back is to us, I gently brush Noriko's hair and slip my hand back into hers.

With a sigh, I close my eyes. Even that much can bring me some small peace I didn't have before. I hope it will help Noriko sleep more peacefully as well. It was what helped her when she was so troubled in Calco the night after our fight with the thieves that she couldn't even cry more than a few silent tears.

-o-o-o-

I awaken the next morning and for a moment wonder why. Then I see a pained expression on Noriko's face. "Are you in pain?" I ask her quietly. She shakes her head but the expression doesn't go away. I reach out to touch her forehead and she stiffens, then tries to relax, but tears leak from her eyes. I'm sad she has to go through this pain, that I didn't know she was bleeding while standing in front of me.

I sit up and move the blanket away and check the poultice on her back. She relaxes to have it cooled again. It looks better this morning than it seemed to be during the night. She's also awake, and that's a sign of better healing. "It's looking better, on the outside," I tell her, knowing that she likely wants to know, even if only for information's sake.

"What happened?" she asks.

I pause, replacing the blanket over her. "You really don't know?

She shakes her head slightly. "No. I only know that I was hit a few times as I ran way. I do remember one that nearly knocked me over, but I recovered and kept running. And then the rain of small stones after you broke the big one, but those weren't bad. Just small bruises at the time. It was better than the death I would have had. Thank you."

I've walked over to the fire to get it going again so it can be ready for breakfast making. Rontarna waves a good morning at me and gives me a nod with a glance at Noriko. I nod back. It is good to have her awake again. When I'm near her again I sigh. "That one cut you, deeply, and cracked at least two ribs. You should have felt it. You fainted from losing too much blood. Because I was in front of you, I didn't notice it, I'm sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. It's [adrenaline]." While I'm on the other side of her, I see her eye close as if she's going to sleep again, or perhaps just resting. I appreciate she's willing to forgive me, but what did she just blame it on? That was one of her words.

"What is [a-dre-naln]?" I try to say what I heard. It was a long word and I'm not sure I got it right.

Her eye flies open again, then she's trying to lift and turn her head to see me, as if she can't believe I just opened my mouth. She winces in pain so I move to sit on that side of her again. I can hear in my head my tease to her. "You will ask to teach?" Without it being said, I hear her reply. "You will ask for the teaching?" She kindly doesn't actually say it.

"It's a [chemical] in the body. Like what the herbs do to affect us, there are things like that already in our bodies. When we are afraid, or need extra strength to survive, the emotion makes our body release the adrenaline into the blood. When it gets to the organs, it increases their strength. The heart beats harder and faster to make it go into the muscles even faster to give them energy and strength. When it goes into the brain, it helps us to see and hear better and think more clearly, hiding the emotions so they don't make us make mistakes."

I'm feeling a bit like I did for the first lecture. I'm following along, but wondering how in the world the people of her world figured something like this out. We can see the effects of herbs on our wounds or in the other ways we use them. To know of effects similar within our bodies, when all we know is that whatever a body does is natural... how did they do that?

"When it happens often, we become [conditioned]...trained to react to the adrenaline. We call it the 'fight or flight' response. I've learned to quickly become prepared to run, and as soon as anything sounds or looks like it's going to attack, I move, very quickly. Like when the hair monster came into the room. I was already prepared because I was already afraid of the demon, and because you reacted.

"I watch you to know when it's time to be ready to act. Then when it happens, I can protect myself quickly." Noriko grins slightly. "I've taken to calling it my '[rabbit response]'. A rabbit is a prey of my land that is very cautious and is alert at the slightest hint of danger. At the first hint it is real, it moves and very quickly. That is what I have learned to do, but it's because of the adrenaline." I approve. Adrenaline is a good thing in her case, then.

"When we are in that state, we will often not feel pain, because to feel the pain is to potentially die. As long as the body still needs to protect itself, it won't relax and the adrenaline stays in the blood and the body. When the threat of death is gone, then the body relaxes and the adrenaline goes away. Then the body feels the pain, the fear, and worry. I am usually very tired also, because it makes the muscles so tense that it's like a long sword practice."

I tip my head, guessing quickly. "Is this why you cry after, then sleep?"

Noriko smiles and nods. "Yes. The adrenaline leaves and I am back to being a frightened, weak girl."

She looks at me soberly for a moment. "I wonder, Izark... I wonder if it is adrenaline in your system that makes the changes in your body. When you need more strength to fight, when you are worried, the adrenaline would enter you also and prepare your muscles to fight. When you are able to relax, the adrenaline leaves and you return to normal also. If there were a chemical reaction in your cells to the adrenaline..."

She likely doesn't have enough shared words to say more than that, but I think I understand where she's going with that. Every cell in my body hurts in sympathetic pain to the memory of what she's just described as my episodes that are so painful, and none more so than this most recent time, when I was shocked into a high level of fear, that was then made even greater when she was thrown at the cliff face. That had been a sudden enough fear reaction at a high enough level to perhaps be what pushed me too fast to control the change.

To make sure, I ask, "If I weren't afraid, but were calm, then the physical changes might not happen?"

"Right. You could still draw on the strength. The chemical reaction wouldn't happen, if you could keep the adrenaline from going into your bloodstream.

"Of course, you could also learn how to allow just enough so that you were in whatever form you needed to be in. That would also take practice, and fear is not always easy to combat, especially when one has already learned to react with or to fear. With enough practice and strengthening of your mind and will over your body's flight or fight response, you could probably completely control the entire amount of strength within you, without ever changing."

How well I know how that works. Not only how difficult is to do, but how to do it. That's already how I control how much power I use. It took a long time when I was a boy to overcome the fear enough to have proper control. To be able to do it for all of my strength, though. That seems almost impossible. Still...I know that it's always little steps practiced constantly that bring those results I want to see.

I can only face her with amazement and be honest. "Noriko. This is why I love you. You are always giving me hope. Telling me things that will help me be what I want to be, to not be afraid. You are always teaching me things that strengthen me."

She looks at me kindly. "I'm glad I'm able to strengthen you, Izark. If I can give you hope, to make your fear go away, then I am happy." She's quiet while I think more about what she's taught me. Then she asks me a question. "Izark, what is the plan? What are we doing next?"

I lean back on my hands, looking her in the eye. "We are going to wait here for the outer wound to heal, then take you to a safe place for the bones to finish healing. Barago and Banadam have gone to the closest town to find a place and a wagon to transport you. We will decide more after that."

"Okay. But...," she lightly blushes, "right now, I really need to go to the [bathroom]...use the toilet."

I wake Gaya who was stirring anyway. We help Noriko rise to her feet, a difficult thing. Gaya supports her to the place we use while I brew up a cup of a tea that will help her body create more blood. By the time Noriko returns she can barely stand. I hold her propped up against me while helping her drink the tea, then we help her back to her bed, still keeping her on her stomach so her back heals properly.

She spends her time in between sips of the tea doing her favorite thing - teaching. We learn that the blood of animals will help create more blood for humans, although she says not drinking it. Just the blood in cooked meat, if left just pink enough, is sufficient, and is a healthier way for the body to change the blood into "building blocks". That part was hard to follow.

Only to me in our internal conversation, she says that on her world edible dark green leafed vegetables and herbs also are very good at helping build up the blood, but she doesn't know if that translates to this world. Given half of the herbs I just steeped for her are very dark green I think that must be similar in some small way.

Because of her exertion, she's asleep soon after, but it's a relaxed healing sleep. I can also relax, knowing she's going to mend just fine. I spend a few hours mediating in a meadow by myself, going without Gaya nagging me. I have many things to practice now.

-o-o-o-

The next time Noriko is awake we're all talking quietly around the fire. Duke Jeida is telling us what he's finally worked out while we've been here in the peace of this place. This time he isn't so sad, which is heartening. He's been depressed about what's happened to him.

He's been thinking about how everyone works to do something that supports the others around them in the world. Even the small part he can play helps in some way. He doesn't have to do it all himself. He can rely on others and let others rely on what he can do to help them. This has helped him to find peace and the strength to move forward, doing each day what he can in the circumstance he's found himself in.

That's already what I do. I think that Noriko also does this very well, and is a very good example of that. It makes me think of a question for Noriko that I can ask here. "Noriko, you know much about the body and medicine. In your previous place, were you thinking of becoming a doctor?"

She takes a moment to think about that. "I wasn't going to. I was going to study math and [engineering], the understanding of and application of physical laws to things that make daily life better for others. But...you're right. I do know a lot about the body as well.

"...I think if I stay here in this place, that might be what I would do. The things I still needed to learn to do the other are beyond me, and I would need a teacher. But to be a doctor, I already know enough. With a year or two of study under an experienced doctor, I would likely be able to do it on my own."

"I think, too," she adds slowly, "that if I could teach what I know to as many as want to learn it, at a place of learning, that would be of benefit to this place, although I have much to learn also. Is there such a place?" I'm not surprised to hear of this desire.

It's Duke Jeida that answers her. "There are two, one on this continent and one across the sea on the eastern continent, that draw many researchers, people who study and try to learn new things. But there are also other places of learning. If peace could be brought back to the world, it would be nice to have them operating again."

She seems content enough with that. "That's good, that there are some here. Otherwise I would have suggested I could start one, a school for higher learning."

I'm very proud of her for being able to look forward without fear of her future in a strange world she can't leave. At the same time I'm remembering that I've already scolded her for teaching things of her world to this one. That would get around the problem of being thought she was from another world, but really, to go so far as to create one herself if there weren't any here to begin with. We aren't that uncultured or unlearned. I need to take her into a few more capital cities as soon as we can travel without so much fear.

She blushes and looks away, but I suppose it's my own fault for keeping her hidden away from any sort of culture until now.