Irktule's spirits found us a quiet farming community to hide in, even finding a family that's been willing to help us. Doros went with Irktule to ask if we can work for them and to buy clothes from them.

Their son is still living with them to help them, as they are an older couple. Their daughter got married a short while ago and lives in her husband's house. Doros is staying with them, helping them farm to earn his money. Noriko and I are staying in the daughter's old bedroom.

I'm feeling better, more normal, although I can tell my energies are still low. I'm still awake at my usual time to be awake tonight, but it feels good to just lie here with nothing to do, and nothing to worry about now that we have a roof over our heads and a bed, and something helpful to do to earn our coin. We're lucky that it's just coming on to harvest time and they can use extra arms and backs.

Noriko shifts and a small sound escapes her. She's slept each night very close to me. With a gasp, her eyes are suddenly open. I sit up slightly to see her better. "A nightmare?"

She begins to blush and rolls away from me to her side. "I'm sorry. I'll be still."

Having to see me be injured has affected her and it's coming out in nightmares. I reach around and tuck the blanket around her and give her a light kiss on the cheek to let her know she's not alone. My hand is grabbed before I can move away. "I'm sorry, Izark. I can't stop having them."

I sigh and lie down close enough to her to hold her in my arms. Slowly her trembling calms. "I'm sorry, Noriko," I say softly, wishing I could help her forget.

Noriko shakes her head. "It's my fault for looking, and picking a bad time to do it. I just wish they would go away. It's not helping me to not sleep."

All I can do is to quietly hold her so she knows that right now I'm alive and well, and so is she. Eventually she does fall asleep again. I kiss the back of her head gently, once again wishing I could give her a thing she needs that I can't give to her.

I still don't know why we're both helped by being in the other's arms. All I do know is that the peace that comes is healing. I'm glad she asked for it tonight. Last night was worrisome, and I'm quite sure she didn't sleep at all the night before.

The next morning we're up early to begin working on the farm we've come to. When I walk out of the house, the son, Evan, is talking to 'Geena'. She's putting up her hair in a short braid today to keep it out of her way. It's gotten rather long compared to the shoulder length it was the day we met. I take the tie out of her mouth and help her, being close and familiar.

Evan scowls. I hope I've sent the message early enough so he'll back off. I don't know what it is with all these young men who see us so obviously together - we even slept in the same room and bed for goodness sake - yet think they can woo her while I stand here. Noriko relaxes as he turns away. She also must be feeling the same way, given how angry she became towards Banadam.

Evan wants to make me pay after that display. He's too jealous for something he never had to begin with. He hands me two sacks of potatoes that we need to move from the packaging room to the barn. I should be able to lift them easily, but they slip from my hands and fall to the ground, nearly taking me with them. I blink in surprise. I wasn't expecting to still be so weak. "Ah, I'll just do one at a time, today."

He grumbles at me that I should be able to do the two easily, but it's rather obvious I can't today. I'm confused. I'm not feeling that weak, not like I do when I can barely stand, or when I know that the weakness is about to come on me. It's feeling a bit backwards, actually. I'm feeling a lot better than the last three days and I know I should be recovering.

When we have the potatoes moved, he takes me to join Noriko and his parents in the field. They've taught Noriko how to use the hand scythe to cut the grain. While Evan goes off to another chore, the farmer teaches me to scythe and we all work together cutting in this field where they can teach us what to do with the cut grain.

We learn how to make the sheaves, tying the cut ends. Then they're laid on poles to dry. When they're dry enough they'll be gathered again into a high-sided wagon to be taken to the threshing barn. We'll learn to do that and gather the grains into bags later, when the first cut crop is ready.

I learned to cut the grains at a normal slow pace. When I think I've got it down, I try to speed it up. The faster we can go the more grain can be cut in one day. I only manage to get about five cuts done at a faster pace before I'm so tired I have to stop and breathe to recover. I still recover rather fast, if not quite as fast I should, but I can't put out much energy at all. I slow it back down and just focus on getting the job done at whatever pace I can.

I've stopped thinking and I think I may have stopped breathing because I stumble and fall. "Ah, Kizak!" Noriko cries out.

"No, I'm fine, I just tripped." She doesn't need to worry.

"I'm sorry," Noriko says to the farmer as she runs to me, "Kizak has been sick. Please let me fill in for him today and let him rest."

As both the kind farmer and his wife say I should certainly be allowed to rest if I've been sick, I try to wave it off. "No, it's okay." I just need to go slow enough to not overuse the energy level I've reached for today.

"No! It is not okay. You will rest for today. Tomorrow maybe you will have your strength back." Noriko has scolded me more fiercely than she ever does, raising her voice at me. I blink in surprise, shocked she will order me so strenuously.

She pulls me up and won't let me just walk under my own power. It's a bit embarrassing to be coddled so. When we get under the trees she makes me sit under one and lean against the trunk.

Quite firmly she says, "Sit here and rest. When you have learned to properly rest after such a thing as you just went through, maybe you won't collapse all the time from overworking yourself. Please be more aware of yourself!" She turns and marches off before I can say anything. Is that what she thinks is going on?

I can only blink after her as a wave of dizziness passes over me. It's so frustrating that I can't make my body do what I want it to do today. She's probably right, though. Another day of rest is going to be required unexpectedly. I suppose I can use this time to meditate.

Footsteps sound nearby and I'm suddenly being harangued by Evan for being so weak as to faint while working in the field. I didn't faint, but I can only apologize. Surprisingly, he hands me a vegetable that he wants me to eat. I tentatively do, wondering just what kind of a person he is. He wants to know if I like it. I do. It's juicy and sweet, for the kind of vegetable it is.

"I grow it," he grins at me. "It'll make you feel better soon. This food is filled with energy from the sun and the rain and the rivers. It's got plenty of nutrition from our mother planet."

Sun energy, and water, and earth. It has three elements of energy in it! I wonder if it also has air energy and wonder if Noriko knows. Plants have all of them?

I feel an approaching person, one who has a different feel to him - that of a warrior rather than a farmer. He pokes his head around the tree. "Hey, hey, Evan! You ran from the shop too fast. Here's your pay for the vegetables."

"Oh, yeah," Evan takes the coin pouch.

"Hi. My name is Roki. Nice to meet you." The man lifts his hand to me in greeting. His grin is a bit insincere. He came out here with the coin only to meet me, I think.

"Hey! This is too much!" Evan says.

"Oh, no it's not," Roki says. "My customers love your vegetables. I sell out all the time."

"No kidding? They do?" Evan is happily embarrassed. Roki doesn't seem to be lying, rather in this matter he seems to be an honest businessman - something rare it seems these days. I bring the wind to my ears and hear more than one voice in the distance talking quietly.

I slump inside just a little. This is a small farming community. We're already the subjects of rumors being passed around. That must be why Evan believes I fainted and Roki wanted to come see who was being talked about. I hope that doesn't become a problem for us later. I'm very glad I thought to have us use false names. We'll be remembered for many years in this place.

-o-o-o-

I've become very content in this place. No. I've become happy. I'm able to rise every morning to see Noriko, work hard doing simple yet good things, see Noriko in the evening, practice without worry in the early part of the night, and sleep deep restful sleep. It's a good life to be living, even if only for a time. I've relaxed with Noriko here to smile and laugh with, and with Irktule to protect us from seers. I know it can't last forever, but I'm grateful for this time to heal and have my fear and anger be still and quiet.

I practice during the day, but I also entertain myself listening to the rumors of the people of the community on the wind. Early on, because I tripped and was weak that first day, and Noriko scolded me strongly, they said that I must be an actor and she was the warrior, and Doros a stagehand.

That was funny until the lady who runs the shop decided to test her and surprised us both by attacking Noriko with a branch. The shopkeeper was scolded soundly by her daughter, so I didn't need to do it. That led to a nice visit with Noriko as I walked back to the house with her.

Not long after we were all working in separate fields, someone was talking to the farmer we're staying with and learned we were sleeping on the floor. Within the day a wagon drew up in the yard as we were all arriving back to the house. The man driving it said that his wife had sent him to bring their extra bed to give for us to use.

Noriko took one look at the narrow bed and blushed, looking away, but she didn't say anything. I took the rumor matters into my own hands, wanting to change that one. Putting my hand to my breast, I bowed to Noriko. "Lady Geena, I shall take the floor, as is only right."

She glared at being given the title, but was relieved sufficiently to nod and thank me quietly. I was relieved when the gossip storm by the next day had another bed brought to our room for me to use, and had Noriko properly set as a lady at the very least (they like to title her a princess as that's more exciting and dramatic).

It's been easier for us both to sleep since we have the beds. Noriko works so hard each day she can barely stay awake beyond dinner, and the soft bed allows her body to rest from her labors better. I'm able to relax better as well. I was catching myself wanting to tease her in the middle of my meditations and night practice sessions. Not only would that be unkind, it was quite impossible to wake her anyway.

I'd taken to sitting by the window, or climbing to the rooftops to watch the stars so I wouldn't disturb her. I still do, since I've enjoyed doing that since I was on my own, but because that's always what it's been, I also enjoy just quietly being near Noriko. Having a companion has been nice. Having that companion be Noriko, even nicer.

-o-o-o-

Doros is running to find me. "Kizak, come give us a hand. A villager's cow fell into the ditch and we can't get it out." He calls.

It's quite wedged in with the leg that might have pushed to get it out stuck underneath it. I'm able to get the right hold on it and lift it. As soon as it's properly up on my shoulder, Noriko calls me. Not having the focus I can't answer right away, but as soon as I have the cow up in the field, I do contact her. Since it's for lunch, I ask her to wait for the short time it will take me to make sure the cow is okay.

The cow walks about a little, then says it will be fine with a bit of rest. The farmer agrees after checking the tendon. I scold the cow who meekly says it will pay attention better from now on. I tell Doros I need to return to my work and run back to the field I'm working in.

I'm happy to see Noriko waiting for me in the shade of the wagon I'm filling and greet her with a kiss. She sets out the lunch as I tell her what happened. I'm just coming to the end of the story when she surprises me by sitting up on her knees and giving me a not just a kiss, but a passionate one. I really don't know how to handle that.

"Izark. You are very [ADD] today. What's going on?" she asks me now that I'm quieted by her surprise attack. I have to ask for the definition of her word. "Ah..., very talkative and energetic. Have we been in one place too long already?"

That makes me smile. "No. I'm just happy. It's quiet here and I can work hard and do good things and see you every night and every morning, and you've brought me lunch so we can sit and be together today."

Noriko is a bit surprised. "Oh. Is that what it is? This is happy Izark?"

I'm happy to have her be able to learn who the happy Izark is. "Yes. This is happy Izark." I leaned on my raised knee to look at her and she blushes and looks away.

"Well...I could get used to happy Izark," she admits. I grin to myself because she's giving me such a good reaction. I want to see it more.

"You know," I say, drawing her attention again, "it's because of you I can be this way."

She shakes her head, disbelieving. "Me?"

"Because of you - your strength, your understanding, your kindness, and most of all your trust in me that has never turned away from me even in the worst of my changes - I have found a place I can be just me. Of all people, you have never rejected me or what I am. Even I've done that. Because of you, I've learned that I can be me and be happy being me. Thank you, Noriko."

Her blush is very rewarding, and her words kind. "It isn't anything really, Izark. You are kind. It's easy to love you."

I shake my head. "I think only you think that, Noriko."

She seems to be confused that I can't see what she sees. "No. Gaya thinks so, too. The others liked you also."

That makes me remember the last day with them. "Even after they saw what I became, Noriko? I'm not sure."

"Well...I guess I can't say anything about that, but none of them ran you out of the house when we went back. They looked confused, yes, but none of them looked like they wanted to kill you or yelled at you or threw rocks at you."

She's put it a funny way, but always looking at the positive side of things, seeing the little things as clues for good rather than ill will, and wanting me to be able to see those things that way and find hope in them for myself - these are the ways of Noriko that I love. She's already opened the door today and I'm reaching for her to kiss her, to express my appreciation and my feelings to her. "Noriko, I love you. Even if they can't accept me, as long as you do, I'm happy."

It takes her too long to recover and I can silently laugh at her again. She's given me a great reaction to enjoy. She gives up and takes a bite of a sandwich. For the first time in my own words, she says, "Umm, you're welcome?"

I realize then why she's never said it before in my words. The way those sounds twist in her mouth and stumble on her tongue have me in full out laughter I can't keep quiet. It sounded so funny, I laugh until I double over. Noriko kicks at my head, peeved. "Hey, at least I tried to say it this time. At least give me that much credit."

When I've recovered sufficiently, I agree, "Okay, you tried. I will give you that." My head has ended up in her lap and I reach up to gently touch her face, glad I've been able to truly laugh for the first time in years, if perhaps even ever. "You have changed me so much. Thank you."

She scowls at me, and I wonder why. "Oh, no. I'm not saying it again." What? It takes me a moment to work out what I said, then I can't hold in the laughter and it bursts out of me again.

"No, no, I didn't," I gasp for air, "really!"

She sighs and bends down and kisses my forehead tenderly. "[You're welcome,] Izark. I'm glad you can laugh and be happy." Wryly she adds, "Even if it is at my expense."

I roll over to nuzzle my face into her belly and hold her with my arm. I'm very glad for a Noriko who can make me happy, make me laugh, and forgive me and be happy with me. Her fingers touch my hair, slipping into it and I'm suddenly very still, although I can't make the happy relaxation go away.

As her fingers run through my hair I'm mesmerized by the calm feeling that comes upon me. When that gets into something else, then I very much have to hold still until she's done and I can eat my own lunch. That's okay. Today's lunch is a very good date for us. I very much want to keep her by my side and have access to this peaceful happiness for the rest of my life.

But...I've been also thinking another little thing in the back of my head that comes out now that she's distracted and we're quiet (and I need a distraction). Today is the first time she called me using our heart connection since we arrived here. At the beginning, I didn't want to distract her from her work because it took so much focus and effort for her, but more and more frequently I wish she would so that I could talk to her while we work.

I shift just enough to look at her face. She's in a trance, looking only at her fingers going through my hair. It would be okay to stop that right about now. "Noriko..."

"Hmm?" She blinks to bring herself out of the trance, then works to free her fingers from my hair.

"That's the first time you've called to me since we arrived here, and I haven't felt you looking either. Are you still afraid?" I worry that she's still too worried about the last thing she saw so unexpectedly.

She jumps just a little in surprise and then considers it. "Ah! ...Well, I've been too tired each night to have nightmares. This much physical activity is new to me. ...It feels more like I just haven't thought to do it...but maybe, a little?" I reach up my hand to gently brush her cheek, wishing to brush those worries away. "I'll try to remember to practice while we're here, Izark. There isn't anything to be afraid of here, I know that."

If she will promise it then she will try to unlearn the fear. The Teacher won't let her break that kind of promise. I'm sufficiently satisfied. We may need to have her ...no, we will need to have her not unlearn that skill and strength. We'll some day leave here and need to be cautious and careful again.

"Has it made you feel lonely?" Noriko asks. It sounds like she's trying to tease, but in her face I see sorrow and worry.

It's not a question to answer, not when she needs to face herself first. I sit up and kiss her again gently and hold her gently in my arms to give her the only peaceful healing I know how to give her. When she's able to relax into my encircling arms and chest, then I can also know that same peace.