Jace kissed the top of her head then whispered, "You have never hurt me Clary."
"But-" Clary said. She had denied Alec's words at the time, but the more she thought about them the more sense they seemed to make. She had hurt Jace, which was wrong; all Jace had ever done was help her.
"Forget what Alec said," Jace whispered as he kissed her forehead. Clary felt a tingling sensation spread over her skin from where his lips touched her. She shivered.
"I should go," he said. "And you should text Simon."
"Simon?" Clary asked, confused... then reality hit. Her boyfriend Simon, whose existence had totally slipped her mind. She flushed, embarrassed that she had momentarily forgotten about everything except Jace's touch.
Clary watched Jace leave and continued to stare at the door long after he was gone. She gripped her phone firmly in her hand, eyes still locked on the door, thinking that she really should text Simon… but she didn't want to talk to her boyfriend. She missed her friend, Simon, the version of Simon before he'd told her he loved her. That Simon is who she wanted to talk to, but he didn't exist anymore. It had been two years and still Clary hadn't learned to love him the way her loved her. She'd tried, but the love she had for Simon just wasn't romantic. She knew she should tell him, but the look she feared she'd see on his face at such news haunted her. She loved him too much to break his heart.
Clary finally removed her eyes from the door and focused on her phone. She wanted to be around friends right now. Clary made a decision and sent a few quick texts which were quickly answered. She got up, got dressed and headed out. She tried to enjoy the walk, but she still went the long way around to avoid the place where she'd met Sebastian last night. Clary was okay and she'd meant what she said to Jace, but she just didn't want to walk past that spot. Clary was fairly sure she wouldn't be okay if Jace had arrived too much later, but she was trying very hard not to dwell on any of the 'what ifs' currently running through her brain. What ifs didn't matter. What mattered is that she was fine and Sebastian was out of Jace's life.
Her self-pep talk managed to get her through the short walk and Clary arrived at the door and went in without knocking.
"Biscuit," Magnus called from the couch as the door closed. Clary saw Alec snuggled up next to him. Though she was glad to see Magnus happy, a little part of her wished her friend had been at least slightly upset with his boyfriend for yelling at her. Though neither Magnus nor Alec knew what had happened to her when she'd left here last night.
"Hey guys," Clary said as she dumped her bag on the floor by the door. Magnus got up off the couch and came over to hug her. Clary accepted the hug, needing it more than Magnus knew.
"My silly boyfriend is very sorry for being such an ass," Magnus told her, pulling out of the hug, but keeping his hands on her shoulders, supportively.
"He really is!" Alec called from the couch. Clary turned her face to Alec. He was sunk deep in the couch as if ashamed and nervous. He certainly looked sorry. Compared to last night, Alec's little outburst didn't seem quite as worthy of holding a grudge over. He'd just been protecting his friend as was she. Maybe they weren't so different after all and besides, Alec hadn't been wrong. She had been worrying about Magnus to avoid thinking about her own issues. She had no intention of telling either of them the events of last night, but she couldn't help but wonder what difference them knowing would make? She suspected it would just make them feeling guilty and horrified, which only affirmed Clary's decision to not tell them. Magnus was her friend and she would spare him this information as it would only make him miserable.
"You are forgiven," Clary told him.
"Thank you," Magnus mouthed, smiling at her. He hugged her one more time before they broke apart.
"But!" Clary said, grinning wickedly at her friend before he could return to the couch. "We should discuss what intimate details and protected bestfriend knowledge, including the assumptions you make off that knowledge, should be shared with boyfriends." She tilted her head and eyed him suspiciously. Magnus had the decency to look ashamed of himself, but he couldn't keep the grin off his face, which rather ruined it.
"What did Jace say when he found you last night?" Alec asked nervously, getting up off the sofa to join their conversation.
"Oh, right well," Clary said, fumbling for words. Of course, Alec would want to know this. She tried to remember the answer to what Alec had asked, separating that from the other events of last night. "He said I didn't hurt him and not to listen to you."
"Yep that sounds like Jace," Alec sighed, then muttered under his breath, "Masochistic little bastard."
"Alexander!" Magnus scolded his boyfriend.
"What?" Alec complained. "I never promised to keep Jace's secrets. People should just stop telling me things."
Clary watched as Magnus pulled Alec against his side; laughing affectionately as he kissed Alec's cheek. There was something different in the way Magnus interacted with Alec than he had with any of his previous relationships. It was as if Magnus withheld none of himself with Alec, almost as if he couldn't.
"So, who's hungry?" Alec asked. Magnus and Clary both indicated that they were. "How about some 'Sorry for being such an ass' pancakes?"
"My favourite," Clary laughed. Alec quickly ran off to the kitchen to get started. Clary was yet to call Alec a friend, but since Alec was friends with Jace and dating Magnus, she was sure they would get there eventually, despite their rocky start.
"I tried to be mad at him for you," Magnus admitted sheepishly as Alec left.
"I know," Clary smiled turning to him. Then Clary whispered, "You seem happier with him." She was surprised to see Magnus blush. Though Alec had blushed every time Clary had seen him, it was a rare occurrence in Magnus.
"Really?" Magnus asked.
"Yeah," Clary replied. "You're different around Alec. I know I tried to interfere before, but the way he responded makes me think better of him somehow. I implied he'd break your heart and he instantly retaliated. He fought back against the idea of you being hurt."
Clary pulled Magnus in for another hug, half wanting one herself and half wanting to whisper in Magnus's hear, "I'm glad you found someone worth your generous heart."
"I want that for you too," Magnus whispered back. "Please be selfish for once and go after what you want."
Clary didn't know what to say to this and was thankfully saved from having to come up with something when Alec called them into the kitchen to set the table.
"Oh, where is Tessa?" Clary asked as Magnus handed her plates. She had been so caught up in seeing Magnus and Alec she had totally forgotten about the other resident of the apartment.
"She left this morning," Magnus answered, taking down glasses from the top shelf. Having someone to reach the high shelfs was one of the wonderful things about having a tall best friend. Alec was just an inch or so shorter than Magnus, which in Clary's opinion was perfect since Alec was just the right height to rest his head on Magnus's shoulder. Clary's mind wondered then, trying to imagine what it would feel like to rest her head on Jace's shoulder.
"Where to?" Clary asked shaking her head to try and bring her thoughts back to the present. The pancakes cooking under Alec's care smelled amazing. She hadn't realized how hungry she was.
"They were meeting up with Will, I think," Magnus said.
"Oh, I forgot to ask!" Clary said suddenly. "What happened with Helen after I left?" She stopped laying out cutlery as she turned to face Magnus. "I invited her than bolted and she didn't come home last night."
"Oh she's fine," Alec said, grinning. "Trust me."
"Have you heard from her?"
"One text," Alec answered laughing. "One very happy text from Aline."
"So she and Aline are getting along?" Clary asked, resuming her task of placing the syrups on the table.
"Oh yeah," Alec laughed. "She basically texted OMG can't believe she likes me back. Thanks for making me speak up. Don't expect to hear from me this weekend. Bye." Clary couldn't help but laugh. "If Helen wasn't at her home last night they might have been in Aline's dorm."
"I think you're probably right," Clary replied as she moved closer to the stove, and took a deep breath in through her nose. "That smells so good."
"Well apology pancakes better smell good," Alec said. "Or they wouldn't be much of an apology, would they?"
Clary laughed and they all sat down to eat. Being in the company of such happy people was helping Clary to feel more like herself again. The energy in the room was warm and welcoming. They ate the apology pancakes together and then washed the dishes side by side, though Magnus kept throwing bubbles at Alec, which slowed the whole process down considerably. Then the boys had to get some homework done and rather than leave, Clary decided to work on some of her own. She used Magnus's computer to print off her assignment. By mid-afternoon she could think of no more excuses to stick around and sensed the boys wanted some alone time, so she said good bye.
As she walked back to campus Clary knew she had to go see Simon - after all, they usually hung out on the weekends - but the more time she spent with Jace, the more she realized there was no spark between her and Simon. She could feel the electricity in the air when Jace was near her. There was nothing she could do to stop the feeling, just like there had been nothing she could do to force the feeling with Simon in the first place. Clary knew waiting to tell him would still lead to breaking his heart, just as telling him now would. There was, however, something extremely appealing about putting off the inevitable.
When Clary opened the door to her dorm she saw Helen and Aline tangled up on Helen's bed, kissing slowly as if the hug was the part that mattered most. Tangled was the best way Clary could think to describe them as she was having a hard time
"Oh Clary!" Helen said quickly pulling away and turning to see her roommate. "I thought you'd be with Simon."
"Yeah," Clary said trying to think fast. "I came to get my stuff first." This was true though she had also been planning to stay in her dorm for a while longer, putting off going to see Simon.
"Oh," Helen said then after a moment she added. "I think you've met Aline before?"
"Indeed," Clary said. "Hey."
"Hi," Aline said shyly. Clary noticed she was almost trying to hide her face in Helen's shoulder.
"Don't mind me," Clary said grinning. She wanted to leave them be, but she also wanted to be in her dorm. However, the grin on her friend's face made the decision for her. "Go back to what you were doing. Just going to grab…" Clary walked over to her desk and collected her laptop and books. She'd decided to go finish what little homework she had left in the library so as to give them the room.
"Have fun," Clary told the girls with a slight giggle as she closed the door behind them.
Twenty minutes later, Clary could be found sitting in one of the good chairs in the library with her laptop open on her lap and her textbook and notes laid out on the chair beside her. When she no longer had homework to distract her, Clary's mind wondered. The image of Helen and Aline filled her mind's eye and she thought to herself how they had just met yesterday and yet the look in their eyes had been something Clary had never experienced with Simon. She had known before what she had to do, but that image, more than anything else, had cemented her decision. Stringing Simon along wasn't better than breaking his heart. Of course, having made up her mind didn't make the reality of what she had to do any easier to face.
Clary gave it another hour before she returned to her dorm. The library and her laptop could easily entertain her for that long. When she got to her dorm she found it empty. She quickly texted Helen saying she didn't mind Aline being there, just to make sure they didn't leave because of her. Then Clary idled away the rest of the evening watching tv, browsing the internet and generally trying not to think about tomorrow. When she finally went to bed, her dreams were of Jace, watching over her again.
Clary awoke on Sunday morning in her empty dorm room and felt the loss of Jace's presence. The dream, combined with everything else made her room feel far emptier. She'd woken up before without Helen there and hadn't felt like this. She knew she couldn't avoid Simon forever, no matter how she tried. With a sigh, Clary checked her phone and noticed a few missed texts from Jace.
'Oh, wow sorry I totally crashed, but are you okay?' Jace texted at eight o'clock that morning.
'Okay, you might still be sleeping,' Jace texted at eight thirty that morning.
'I'm getting worried,' Jace texted at quarter to ten. 'I'm coming over. I hope you're just sleeping.'
That text had been sent less than ten minutes ago. Clary couldn't believe she had slept in so badly. It was like her body knew today wouldn't be pleasant and had tried to avoid it. There was a knock on her door just as Clary was halfway through typing a reply. She stopped texting, got up and walked, what seemed like miles, to her door. She opened the door and there stood Jace with circles under his eyes. He was dressed very casually in sweatpants and a t-shirt and he did look worried.
"I'm sorry I worried you," Clary said. "I just woke up. You arrived before I could answer your texts."
"Oh," Jace said. "Okay. Sorry… ummm…. Glad you're fine." He turned to walk back down the hall.
"Wait," Clary said, reaching her arm out. "Stay." She'd felt so alone when she'd woken up and now that she'd seen Jace, she wanted him here.
Jace turned, obviously stunned at her request. "You surprise me every time you say that," Jace whispered. "Clary, I know your heart belongs to another but I-" He stopped talking. She was standing on one side of the open doorway while Jace stood on the other. And now, Jace was leaning in, his foot taking a step forward. She looked up at him and thought about how her heart didn't belong to another. She could tell him right now, but telling Jace before she told Simon was wrong. Simon deserved better. Despite her firm belief, she hadn't moved backward. Hadn't moved away or given any sign she wanted to. It was as if she wasn't able to. It was all she could do to talk and break the silent pull.
"Do you want to come in?" Clary asked rather than move that inch closer and connect their lips. "We could hang out."
"And what, do homework?" Jace asked with a shake of his head.
"I finished mine," Clary said. "But we could play cards or something. Why not?" She didn't want to be alone right now; she didn't want him to leave, but this was all she could offer at the moment.
"Because from what I hear, being friendzoned sucked," Jace said with a laugh. Clary suspected that though this seemed to be a joke, Jace meant every word. He didn't want to be her friend. She took a few steps back, keeping her eyes locked on Jace as she did so, trying to encourage him to move and Jace did. He walked slowly into her dorm.
And there they stood, staring into each other's eyes as if the rest of the world didn't exist. Clary wanted to kiss him and she was sure he wanted to kiss her, but all they did was stand there, framed in the open doorway, looking at each other.
She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but at some point Clary heard someone approach and turned to see her boyfriend standing in the doorway looking daggers at Jace.
First of all OMG sorry its been SO long! I have been updating my other TMI AU like crazy and ignoring this one. No really! I think I updated 'Elusive Love' at least 5 times since I last update this story! The other one just kept flowing out of my head and this one was stuck on the side for a while... again sorry.
And hehe what did you think of the cliffhanger? I made you wait over TWO weeks for a chapter then I leave you hanging. *Insert evil laugh here.* ^_^ But no really love you guys! Please review! BUT REALLY GUYS! REALLY! You are gonna leave me at 199 reviews! Not a single person was willing to add that last review to make it 200? *Crying emoji here.* Maybe that's why I ignored this story. Humph! Okay I will stop being petty now... again sorry... next few chapters are more planned out now and it shouldn't be so long till the next chapter.
Sneak Peek Chapter 31
"Then I have a better idea," Magnus said gleefully. Alec turned eyeing him wearily. But Magnus just circled around to hold Alec in his arms. Alec couldn't help but lean back into his boyfriend, with a soft sigh. Then suddenly he was covered in bubbles.
"Magnus!" Alec exclaimed taking a step back from the skin. Magnus it seemed had only hugged Alec to get closer to the sink full of soap suds. Alec collected some ammo and retaliated. Now Magnus was covered in bubbles too and Clary was giggling at them.
