Thor arrives just as they're getting onto the airship, in a blast of heat and energy that sends several more junior agents staggering back. There's a few greetings and some very energetic backslapping, but most of them are too tense for Thor's visit to summon any real joy. Thor too looks upset, if resigned to his brother's latest escapade.

'He will be dealt with on Asgard,' he confirms, and Natasha nods.

'Fury knows.'

They board the jet in silence, which holds for the first hour or so of the journey.

'They're still in the hotel?' questions Steve at last, and Fury assents through the earpiece.

'Well, that's stupid of them,' says Natasha, 'but good for us.'

'We still have to get to London,' reminds Steve over the roar of the jet, 'that's a good five hours away. They could move anywhere in that time.'

'I should've just stayed there in the first place,' mutters Barton irritably, too low for anyone but Natasha to hear, and she grips his hand silently, just for a second, before letting go.

Steve looks unconcerned. 'Fury has eyes all over that place,' he says, missing the entire exchange between them, 'if they move, we know.'

'Cameras can be hacked,' reminds Natasha, 'and that witch clearly knows some kind of vanishing trick, as well as all Loki's equally-freaky-but-slightly-different magic tricks.'

They all glance at Thor at this, as if hoping that he will suddenly start spouting all Loki's secrets, but Thor is glued to an old mobile phone that Tony gave him ages ago, talking to Jane Foster, voice a little too low to be anything more than an incomprehensible murmur under the noise of the engines. They pass the rest of the ride in much the same fashion – there are sporadic outbreaks of conversation, but most of them are too keyed up to talk much. Thor spends nearly the entire trip on the phone, and Barton falls asleep halfway across the Atlantic, waking at a sharp prod in the ribs from Natasha as they land.

'Still in the hotel?' asks Steve.

Fury confirms it in their ears, as a black car rolls up the airfield to take them the final distance to the wizards. They won't slip away this time, Barton tells himself, you're better than that. We're all better than that.

Natasha nudges him in the ribs again, but this time it's more a gesture of comfort than anything else.

'We'll outnumber them almost three-to-one. They'd be stupid not to surrender immediately.'

'Loki…'

Wordlessly, she gestures in Thor's direction. She doesn't share Barton's concern. The wizards seemed to favour covert action over a full-blown battle – Natasha doubted any of them had ever seen proper conflict in their lives. This should be easy.

XXXXXXXX

'How did they find us?' breathes Daphne, staring out at the large group of agents that outnumbers them by at least three to one.

Harry stares at her.

'Does that really matter? Can we not maybe focus on the immediate problem which is that they're all ready to attack us?'

'Are they actually going to attack us, or just stand outside looking scary and hope we give in? Why are they attacking us anyway?' Daphne sounds like she's seconds away from full-blown panic.

'You are with me,' Loki says simply, and Harry thinks of how much safer he'd felt the last time someone said that to him.

'Also we broke into S.H.I.E.L.D.,' he adds helpfully.

'That is true,' agrees Loki. 'Oh, look,' he says, peering out of the window, 'they've brought my brother. How nice that he gets an outing.'

'Your brother…' Harry trails off, not sure if he really wants to know.

'Thor. Norse God of Thunder,' Daphne supplies.

'Oh fabulous. That's… wow, that's just great.'

Loki scoffs.

'He is only interested in me. It is unlikely he will attack you.'

'Great,' mutters Harry, 'I feel so much better now.' He sighs, and runs a hand through his hair.

'Right,' he says briskly, 'grab your stuff, everyone, and let's get out of here. Anyone got a preferred location?'

Daphne blinks.

'What?'

Harry looks at her like she's being deliberately dense.

'Well, you're not suggesting we actually stay and fight them, are you, when we can just Apparate away?'

'Harry Potter, Senior Auror, running from a fight?' asks Daphne, but there's more incredulity than malice in it. Harry just rolls his eyes.

'Get your stuff, Greengrass. How do you feel about the Lake District?'

'I've heard it's very beautiful,' remarks Daphne, gathering loose bits of parchment and quills to wrap up in her cloak. Harry nods.

'I've heard it's very remote and hard to navigate,' he responds cheerfully, 'should be fun.'

'So we are not fighting?' asks Loki, looking almost disappointed.

'Nope,' replies Harry happily.

'Oh.'

XXXXXXXXXX

Barton come up beside Natasha, bow in hand.

'You gonna announce us?'

Natasha grins without mirth.

'Loki, we have you and your two companions surrounded,' she shouts, eyes fixed on the door to the hotel, voice easily carrying in the still air.

'If you surrender now, you will not be harmed. Come out with all your weapons, and we will be lenient. If you refuse, we will be forced to attack, and we will not take prisoners. You have five minutes.'

'Nice,' Barton murmurs, and Natasha smiles again.

Inside the hotel, Daphne looks mildly alarmed. Harry and Loki are both wearing the identical, unruffled expressions of men who have been attacked far too many times, and are now just completely bored by the whole thing.

'Ready to go?' asks Harry, and Daphne glances over her small cloak bundle, and nods.

Harry offers one arm to her and the other to Loki, who takes it with the distaste of someone who has to touch a particularly slimy bug. A twist, a crack, and they land in the middle of a small village made up of grey slate cottages, rain plummeting down and plastering their hair to their scalps. Loki utters an oath and staggers back from Harry, waving his hand to divert the rain from around him.

'Sorry!' shouts Harry over the spatter of water on stone, giving Daphne a vaguely apologetic look as he pulls out his wand and casts an Impervious charm over them both. Daphne sighs, and rummages around for her own wand to dry herself off.

Exactly four minutes and 21 seconds later, the hotel on Janus Street is stormed by a crack team of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s finest agents. A very startled receptionist gives a shriek as three agents plus a real, live Captain America march into the lobby, and one very embarrassed guest is surprised by a svelte red-headed Russian in the middle of taking a bath. But though the team scours the hotel from top to bottom twice over, the only trace of the freaky magic people is a six-pack of Coke and some half-opened biscuit packets.

Fury is not amused.

'WELL THEY CAN'T JUST HAVE VANISHED!' he roars down the earpiece, and Barton winces at the volume.

Comprehension dawns on Natasha's face, and she starts swearing in Russian. Five seconds later, Barton joins her in English.

Bloody wizards. Bloody, teleporting wizards can very definitely have just vanished.

Half an hour later, Fury is still yelling at them. Turns out Stark and Banner thought it would be a clever idea to follow them independently, and when they turn up outside the hotel, looking smug, Steve punches Tony so hard he cracks the helmet of his suit. Whilst Cap and Tony work off some pent-up aggression by destroying three buildings and breaking several non-vital body parts, and Barton and Natasha finish getting chewed out by Fury, Banner has borrowed Tony's laptop and is hacking into the hotel CCTV. He finds the footage with ease, but there is a minor problem in the lack of sound, so Natasha finds him squinting at the screen, trying to lip-read the grainy footage.

'Australia?' he suggests, pulling back and rubbing his eyes. Natasha sighs, and pulls the laptop over to her. Stupid cheap hotels with their stupid low-quality CCTV cameras. After ten minutes of concerted effort, all she has managed to establish is that it's definitely not Australia.

'Some kind of district?' she murmurs, replaying the footage for what must easily be the 500th time.

'Do they have districts in England?' asks Banner interestedly. Natasha shrugs.

'No idea. Look it up.'

Bruce pulls out his phone and does a quick search.

'Uh... Yeah,' he says, 'it's a kind of government thing, I think...'

Natasha spins round.

'They're trying to attack the government?!'

'Uh... I don't know... I think they might be going to a district rather than attacking it... Oh look, here are some places, the Peak District, the Lake District...'

Natasha plays the footage again.

'Lake,' she says slowly, 'they're going to the Lake District.'

Banner smiles.

'Hey, that's good, well—'

'Barton, we need transport and directs,' she snaps down her earpiece, gesturing for Banner to follow, 'they're in the Lake District, and we need to be there as soon as possible. You,' she barks at a black-suited agent, 'tell the children to stop fighting and make themselves useful. Everyone to me,' she continues, striding to the lobby, 'we are not failing this time.'