"And that didn't clue you in that there is a problem," Alec's words played in his head. Jace was rather worried he'd messed up, worse even than when he'd talked to Simon about lingerie. He realized now that maybe he should have tried to talk to his roommate all along. Sure, Alec didn't know Clary much, but he was dating Clary's best friend, which Jace hadn't realized the significance of until now. Jace could have asked Magnus, but he hardly knew the guy, and quite frankly from everything Alec had told him, asking Simon was ironically a better idea than getting advice from Magnus about his sex life with Clary.
He'd known she'd been acting a little differently lately, but she wasn't distant so he hadn't been worried like before. Also all the sex was very distracting. Alec had thrown his arms up, presumably out of exasperation at Jace, which Jace felt was a little unfair. Jace could have followed him to his room and tried to continue the conversation, but he sensed that would be a bad idea. He also suspected 'talk to Clary' was really all the advice Alec had to give. So Jace texted his girlfriend.
'Hey, Clary,' Jace typed. 'Is everything okay?'
'Yeah,' Clary texted back quickly. 'Why do you ask?'
'Well Alec said we needed to talk,' Jace replied.
'Did he now?'
'Yeah,' Jace replied. 'He was rather confusing actually.'
'What else did Alec say?' Clary asked. Jace wasn't sure what he was supposed to say over text and what he wasn't. He felt sure that she knew how he felt about her, but then again, if Alec was right maybe she didn't, and telling her over text would be a bad plan, right?
'Nothing I guess,' Jace replied.
'He and Magnus gossip like old women,' Clary texted, and Jace could just imagine the annoyed affectionate tone she'd adopt saything this.
'Yeah they do,' Jace texted back. 'We still on for hanging out tomorrow after class?'
'Yep,' Clary texted back. 'Your place.'
'Or the library?' Jace suggested. It had been a while now since Clary had wanted to be seen in public with him, and Jace just couldn't figure out why. He was starting to worry she was ashamed to be seen with him, though he had to admit, his previous lifestyle kind of warranted that, he didn't like the idea of her being ashamed of him. Then he suddenly realized that the two new behaviours could be connected? Could her not wanting to see him in public, and her new interest in lingerie be linked? Maybe, but Jace couldn't figure out how.
'Your place,' Clary texted back.
'We always just go to my place,' Jace replied trying to steer the conversation to a different conclusion. 'Aren't you bored of just staying in?'
'Nope,' Clary replied. With a sigh, Jace stared down at his phone. If only he could read her mind. Her behaviour was such a mystery to him.
'How about we go out to eat?' Jace suggested. 'Sushi?'
'We could order Sushi from home,' Clary counted. He was tempted to just ask her if she was ashamed to be out with him in public, but Jace couldn't get up the nerve.
'If that's really what you want,' Jace replied, giving in like he always did.
'Yep,' came Clary's reply followed by a happy face. Jace put his phone down and stared at the pile of papers on the table. He'd been doing homework last night right? Well at least it would distract him.
A few hours later Jace had his homework done, but was in no way distracted. He went to sleep that night with the strangest feeling in his stomach. Something was off, and it had been off for a while, but to such a degree Jace hadn't realized a thing until now. He woke feeling unrested and headed to class, hoping it'd be over quickly so he could talk to Clary, but no such luck. His morning class felt so very drawn out, and Jace was sure he didn't take in a word. Alec's lecture played in his head, as Jace tried to decipher the difference between talking to Clary, and talking to Clary.
All throughout wrestling practice Jace was distracted. His sparring partner got the better of him more than once, and Jace found himself flat on the ground so many times before practice ended that he was sure he'd have a bruise. Dragging his sore sorry self home, Jace collapsed on Alec's couch. He supposed it was his couch too, though like most of the furniture in their place, he'd played no role in purchases it. Sometimes Jace felt like he was staying at Alec's apartment rather than living with Alec. It felt a little strange, but couldn't bring himself to care too much. It was just the way Alec was, or maybe he just had't been helpful during the move; Jace wasn't totally sure.
He must of fallen asleep because the next thing Jace knew, he was awoken by the door bell. His semi conscious brain slowly remembered why he'd been so worried all day and who would be at the door. Jace got up dragging his sore muscles, and had the door open before the bell went off again.
"Hey," Clary said with a smile.
"Sorry were you waiting long?" Jace asked rubbing his eyes. "I fell asleep."
"Nope, just got here," Clary replied as she walked in. Jace nodded as he closed the door, still trying to wake up. There was always a sort of relief when he saw Clary after being apart from her. He couldn't really explain it, but even so, Jace was enjoying the slight unclenching of his shoulder muscles he hadn't realized he'd been carrying.
"Listen Clary," Jace began. He had no idea how to do this, and Alec's lecture was making him nervous.
"What's wrong?" Clary asked. For a moment Jace took in her appearance as he if he was scooping her in a bar. Usually she was just Clary, and he enjoyed her presence without really observing her like he probably should. Doing this helped him notice things. Her breathing was shallow, and her gaze locked. If Jace didn't know any better, he'd have said she was a little scared, but that didn't make any sense.
"Are you okay?" Jace asked.
"Fine," Clary replied, but her voice was too high. Then she moved forward and kissed him. Jace accepted the kiss happily, melting into her touch like he always did. He held her close, feeling the warmth of her body even through her coat. He felt her cool hands against the skin of his back, and he could tell where she was trying to take their kiss, but for once in his life, Jace wasn't in the mood. He pulled away, his hands held out to keep her a few inches away, preventing her from continuing to kiss him.
"Can we just watch a movie tonight?" Jace asked. He didn't want her to feel rejected, and was keenly aware that this was the first time he'd done so. He placed a hand gently on her face, trying to be loving so she wouldn't be hurt.
"I don't want to watch a movie," Clary replied, but there it was again, that look on her face that Jace just couldn't figure out.
"What are you thinking?" he asked. "What's wrong?" He'd seen this look before. If only he could see through her skull and discover what wheels were turning in that beautiful brain of hers.
"Nothing," she answered too quickly like always. Jace wasn't going to let it slide anymore. He gently held her face in his both hands, making her look at him.
"Please talk to me," Jace begged. "I know I am a shit boyfriend, but I don't want to be. I should have noticed sooner that something was wrong. And I'm sorry."
"Everything fine," Clary responded in a slightly higher voice than normal.
"No, it isn't," Jace stated firmly. "Tell me."
"Am I enough?" she asked in so low a whisper Jace barely heard her.
"What?" Jace whispered back stunned, and almost sure he'd heard wrong. She was everything, and it wasn't like he'd been subtle about this.
"Do you want all those other girls?" she continued, still in that same soft voice that he could barely make out.
"What other girls?" Jace replied, confused and more worried than ever at what Clary had been thinking this whole time.
"Every freaking woman who catches sight of you!" Clary suddenly yelled, taking a step back. As quickly as it came, her anger vanished and she was in tears, her face in her hands. Jace didn't know what to do. All he wanted was to take her pain away, but he hadn't a clue how.
"When we were staying with your mom," Clary sobbed, words pouring from her now. "I saw women around your home town, and I couldn't help but wonder how many of them you'd slept with. Some of them even gave me this look like they didn't understand why you were with me. And worse, some very obviously checked you out while I was standing there." She had sunk to her knees now on the floor, Jace moving down to the ground with her. "It got worse when school started. It doesn't matter where we go… they are there... and I-"
"I love you Clary," Jace cut her off firmly. "You. Not them. Don't be sad." It was the only thing he could think to say, and based on what Alec had told him, he needed to say it. Jace was so bad at communicating how he really felt, this whole conversation was new territory for him. He still wasn't sure if he'd said the right thing, but Clary at least stopped crying. She looked up at him with shock written on her face, and in that moment, Jace realized just how shit of a boyfriend he really was.
"You do?" she all but gasped, looking up at him from where she sat on the floor, her legs pulled up against her chest.
"Of course," Jace replied easily. "Alec called me out on that this time last year." She still hadn't said a word, so Jace thought he'd keep going till she did. "Since almost the first moment I saw you, you've held all my interest, Clary. Captured my thoughts. Soon I thought of nothing, wanted nothing, but you. All the while, never once thinking you could want me too. Sometimes I still wake up amazed that this isn't all a dream. That you are really mine." He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb, smiling as he continued. "I don't care what other people think when they look at us. They don't matter. You matter, so please please don't be sad. I hate it when you are sad."
"Then why do you look at them?" Clary asked, looking slightly stunned. "You check them out."
"That doesn't mean I want them," Jace replied easily. "It just means that I noticed they are physically attractive. It means nothing Clary."
"It doesn't feel like nothing," Clary mumbled, though Jace had to admit she looked a little less upset.
Jace sighed. He was doing this all wrong and he knew it. "Do you remember our first kiss?"
"Yeah I found you with your tongue down some other woman's throat, but somehow you got me to kiss you anyway."
"Trinity's just a friend," Jace sighed. "But that wasn't what I meant. Do you remember what I said to you before the kiss?"
"I-" Clary started then stopped. "Something about you spending your life courting woman." Jace hung his head, astounded at how selective her memory was right now. Placing a hand on each of her shoulders, Jace looked into her eyes before speaking.
"I have been emotionally invested in exactly one woman my whole life," he stated firmly. "I am yours in every sense of the word, and I will always be yours so long as you want me to be." They stared each other down for what felt like an eternity before Clary broke the silence.
"I love you too," Clary whispered, looking slightly embarrassed. Jace exhaled in relief, not only at hearing her say such beautiful words, but also at the peaceful expression on her face. He'd finally gotten through to her. Leaning forward, Jace kissed the love of his life with all the emotion he could bring to bare.
"Just when I think I have you figured out, you confuse me to no end," Jace grinned at her. "I thought you'd be upset about me failing you over the summer. I thought you'd hate me for being the reason you were near him again, but you didn't. Then foolish me was too busy marveling in that fact to notice anything else. The concept that you didn't know how much I care never even crossed my mind. I was sure it was obvious."
"That's what Alec said," Clary replied, but she was smiling. "Wasn't obvious to me."
"In the future, if you are confused about some stupid thing I'm doing without realizing it, just ask me okay?" Jace said with a sigh. "Honestly I don't mind."
"Okay," Clary whispered. She pulled him in for a hug, and Jace buried his face in her beautiful red hair. As they pulled out of the hug, Clary stood up and finally took off her coat. It wasn't until the coat fell to the ground that Jace realized why she hadn't taken it off.
"Be a shame to waste this though right?" Clary grinned at him, clearly indicating the edible lingerie she was wearing.
"Oh no!" Jace said. He'd spotted one of his shirts on the couch and throw it at her. "We are definitely snuggling on the couch and watching a movie." Clary laughed as she put on the shirt, which somehow made her even sexier, the way his shirt skimmed the tops of her bare hips. Unable to resist, Jace moved close, pulling her into his arms and kissed her. Clary grinned into the kiss as Jace's hands found their way under his shirt.
"Stop being so sexy when I'm tired," Jace groaned. He enjoyed her smile at his words, then turned to collapse on the couch. He really was tired, and sore. Clary vanished into the bathroom, presumably to change. When she returned Jace was scrolling through Netflix.
"What's this show?" Jace asked as Clary sat down. He was happy to see her back in her usual jeans and a hoodie.
"Sense8," Clary replied. "Alec and Magnus watch it all the time."
"Is it any good?" Jace inquired.
"If Magnus is to be believed," Clary responded. "It's the best new show of the decade, though he does tend to exaggerate."
"Wanna try it?" Jace asked. Clary easily agreed and settled into his arms for a much needed evening of snuggling.
I am feeling just about as warm and happy as Jace right now. *Hmm* 16 reviews in the first day! Yay! Though I guess I need to remove two of them but still 14 is awesome! And so much more detailed than usual! Man, I love all you guys. I spent like a solid hour wednesday morning replying to reviews and being way too excited to function. My boyfriend thought the cat was having a fit. LOL
Also shadowhunter91156 how dare you disable private messaging and ruin all my dreams. Lol Okay not all my dreams, but definitely my dream of replying to your review.
You said:
Oh my gosh I love Magnus pins they are adorable and I always love how Alec tries to help Jace with his relationship problems. it really brings everything together.
My reply:
I am so glad people like Magnus's puns! I do confess the inspiration there comes from my boyfriend who can make a pun out of anything. I definitely identify with Alec in the last chapter. And I have said, "That's when I killed him your honor" to him like a zillion times. Thanks! This story has always been about merging and interweaving plot lines so that is exactly what I'm going for!
Also Guest review said:
loved this chapter. I love how Jace is such a dumbass about it. I also loved how Alec was trying to explain it to him. Thank you for a chapter and I always usually write a review to these because I know how much they mean to Authors. It is called inspiration, and I am sorry if people don't feel like writing reviews. I will always be here for ya. ;)
My reply:
Yay! readers who understand how much reviews mean. *Heart emoji* Thanks so much!
Sneak Peek Chapter 63:
"Izzy this is Clary," Magnus did the introductions. "Clary this is Izzy."
"Hi," the redhead said. "You're Alec's sister right?"
"That I am," Izzy replied.
"I guess you'd know me as Alec's roommate's girlfriend," the redhead replied.
"Or Alec's boyfriend's best friend," Magnus added.
"I think you said your name was Clary," Izzy laughed and Clary joined in. "I'll call you that."
"Works for me."
In the silence that followed, Izzy felt her phone go off. Eagerly anticipating a reply from one of her classmates she unlocked her phone however the message turned out to be from an unknown sender.
'So I'm not really sure why I'm messaging you,' the unknown message read.
'If you told me who you are,' Izzy texted back quickly. 'I might be able to help with that. ;)'
Now the questions becomes... even if I don't promise a specific bonus chapter if you continue to review more. Will you understand that I ALWAYS want reviews and will definitely write faster and update faster the more of them I get? Honestly updating once a week is easy (almost too easy. I am thinking of going back to my update as fast as I write thing because man I don't have the patience for this) and I'd keep doing it for just a few reviews but this story won't be as long or go up as fast without them. Just a fact of how my motivation works. ^_^
